Transcription
You're not nice. You're scared. You're scared to be disliked. You're scared to disappoint. You're scared that people aren't going to appreciate you. And being the nice girl isn't your superpower. It's your biggest [Music] weakness.
Hi everyone, my name is Gracie Draaskovich. This is my first YouTube video ever, so I'm new here. You're new here. Welcome to my channel. Today, I'm going to be talking about how being the nice girl is actually ruining your life.
I used to pride myself on being the girl that never said no, never wanted to disappoint people. Would would do things even though I really didn't want to, out of the sake of being liked. Even if it destroyed me, because I used to think that's what made me valuable to other people and friends. But honestly, it always backfired, and people actually ended up treating me worse.
That was until I realized these people that I was admiring and bending myself over backwards for had strong boundaries. They weren't letting people disrespect them. They knew how to say no. Meanwhile, I used to spend all this time chasing validation and hoping for crumbs of appreciation in exchange for me being a nice girl and a nice person.
What are the characteristics of the nice girl? How do you know that you're being overly too nice, or you're just doing too much?
One, you're apologizing for literally everything, especially when you're not wrong. Don't apologize for literally every single thing that you do. You're not only disrespecting yourself and not allowing yourself to be yourself, but other people are going to start to look down on you because that's a sign that you lack confidence.
Next, you feel guilty for saying no. Never, ever, ever, ever feel guilty for saying no. I say no all the time, and you don't need to explain why you're saying no. You literally have the right to tell anybody no, especially your friends, and they should understand. If you feel like you're not, if you feel like you're saying yes to everything, you're going to end up destroying yourself and being in situations that you don't want to be in. So you need to learn to say no whenever and however you want.
Next is you suppress your own needs for not being difficult. If the people you're around think that you're difficult, you're around the wrong people. Okay? Never, never, ever, ever suppress your needs, your wants, your feelings for anyone. Friends, boyfriend, family. Don't ever, ever do this. Because if you need something, you know yourself better than anyone else does, and it's super important that you, as a person, have your needs met.
Next is you expect people to reward you for your niceness, and they never do. We think being the nice girl is selfless, right? But it's really not. It's fear. It's the fear of being disliked. It's the fear of disappointing people. It's the fear of being called selfish. Being the nice girl is protecting how we're being perceived by people, and not protecting who we truly are.
So if you feel like you're disappearing and people just aren't respecting you because you're being too nice, good. That discomfort is a sign that you're ready to outgrow this. Don't get me wrong, being kind is beautiful. We should all strive to be a kind person. But being small isn't. You don't owe your life to anyone's comfort.
Being the nice girl isn't making your life better. It's making you forgettable. It's making you exhausted. And it's making you become someone that you don't even recognize anymore. And the worst part about all of this is being the nice girl is ultimately bending over backwards for people that don't even notice and would never do it for you.
People will ultimately end up using your niceness against you and end up taking advantage of you. Bending over backwards for people is leaving you exhausted. You come home drained because you give so much of yourself and you get nothing in return. That's not kindness. That's just self-sabotage.
People will end up using your niceness against you. They'll know that you'll always say yes, so they'll keep asking for more and more and more and more and more to see how much they can really get out of you. The more you give, the more they'll take, and they won't stop.
Being nice doesn't earn you respect. When you never stand up for yourself, people don't admire you. They end up just walking all over you. They see, "Oh, this girl's nice." Aka, that means in their eyes that you're a pushover. And now they can do whatever they want to, and they think that they'll just get away with it because you're being too nice.
You don't have boundaries. For the love of God, stop apologizing and learn how to say no. You're allowed to say no. You don't have to apologize to anyone for it. You don't even need to explain why you're saying no. Stop saying sorry for having boundaries. Just try it. "No, I can't do that." Period. The world won't come crashing down, but your self-respect will skyrocket.
I guess the moral of the story and what I want you to take away from this video is to be nice to yourself. Be the nice girl to yourself, and stop doing it for other people. And stop bending over backwards for other people, and start bending over backwards for yourself by setting up boundaries, saying no, and not taking BS from people.
At the end of the day, you deserve the kindness that you've been giving to everyone else. Put yourself first for once. It's not selfish, it's necessary. Kind of like if an airplane is coming down and the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling, you're always supposed to put yours on first before you can help other people. Because if you don't do yours first, you can't help anyone else.
So by being kind to yourself first, respecting yourself, setting those boundaries, knowing how to say no, ultimately will make you a happier, stronger, better person. A better friend, a better wife, girlfriend, daughter, all of it. You can be kind and have boundaries. You can still be loving and caring and say no. You can still have compassion for others while choosing yourself first.
Being the nice girl is ruining your life because you are living for someone else's comfort at the cost of your own peace. If this hit you, trust me, you're not alone. Hit subscribe because we're not living for crumbs anymore. We're building a life that respects us back. Keep an eye out. I'm going to be uploading videos once to twice weekly, and you do not want to miss what I have coming. So make sure to subscribe. And as always, I'll see you guys on the next one. Bye. [Music] Hi, hi.