Transcription
Everybody talks to girls. Bro, in this video, I'm breaking down how to talk to girls, what to say, tips on confidence, tips on where to meet girls, and how to date even if you're broke. I'm going to be going over all of this, so that you guys actually have zero excuses, zero excuses not to get out here this summer and make it the best summer of our lives. Making this summer peak, peak.
All of this is cope. I don't know what to say, but I'm nervous. But she's with all of her friends. All of this is cope because human connection is one of life's greatest gifts.
First things first, never, never, never be outcome-oriented. You see, the goal should never, ever, ever be, "Oh, I got her number. Let's go. Life is awesome. I got her number." Because if the goal is the outcome, if the goal is, "Did I win or lose getting her number? Did I win or lose going out, hooking up, talking to girls?" If Shotty does reject you, if you do lose, this is going to be you, bro. You say, "I'm going to kill myself." You're just in the trenches.
Instead, the goal if you're going out and talking to girls should be, "Did you have fun or not?" Because then, even if Shotty rejects you, if you focus on having fun, if you focus on having a good time, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. And this mindset makes it easier to shoot shots. This mindset makes it easier to talk to girls.
I mentioned this in one of my previous videos before, but LeBron James holds the record for most missed shots in NBA history. It's like, "How is LeBron the best, but he has the most missed shots?" How does that make sense? Because the more shots that you take, sure, you're going to miss a lot, but you're going to make a lot, bro. So, we need to be shooting more shots. It's basically just everything is a win. The goal is to experience. It's not win or lose. It's, "Did I have fun? Did I learn anything? Am I improving socially?" And that causes you to start realizing that, wow, you know, talking to a pretty girl is not as scary as I thought. You know, I'm still here. I'm still alive. It's kind of a rush. You start to enjoy it. And thinking like this has you realizing that even if your shot doesn't go in, you still score, bro. You still win if your shot doesn't go in, which is crazy. Like, it shouldn't work like that, but it does because everything is a win. When the goal is to experience, your points still go up. You are still leveling up.
Quick little disclaimer I want to mention is that if I'm sounding too preachy or if I'm like yelling at you guys, I'm more so honestly making this video as a reminder to myself. You know how we give our friends advice, but it's like we give advice that we should be taking ourselves. It's kind of like that type of vibe.
So, now let's get into the nitty-gritty tips on what to actually say, how to actually approach a girl, and whatnot. We got the warm-ups, how to deal with rejection, if Shotty is in a group, how to approach her if they got the goalkeeper. There's always going to be a goalkeeper. Uh, and conversation starters. You know, I think we're going to have to start with conversation starters.
Okay, first things first. Think less. Think less. Think less. The more that you think, the more that you're going to overthink. If you see a girl and you're like, "Huh, she's cute." Do not think, bro. You just got to go. You just got to go. You literally just got to go and talk to them. Oh, I said talk to two people. Talk to people like you already know them. As I said before, the goal is to experience. The goal is to have fun. So, talk to people like you already know them. Don't be.
So, here's seven ways to start a conversation with anyone. A lot of people think, "Oh, when I approach a girl, I need to have this crazy pickup line and be super smooth." It's not that deep, bro. You can literally say, "It's not that deep, bro." You can literally say, "Hey, I'm Michael Jackson. I don't think we've ever..." Don't say Michael Jackson, but, um, "I don't think we've ever met before. What brings you here?" It's not weird to talk to new people. People, you know, if I'm a guy, I want someone to talk. Honestly, I know especially online, there's so much culture around like, "Oh, talking to girls is weird. You shouldn't be a creep or whatever." But in real life, I seriously think girls, more girls want to get approached. More girls want to get talked to. It's low-key a compliment. As long as you're not being weird, as long as you're not being creepy. It's as I'm saying, oh, I literally wrote down here, as long as you're polite and don't say whatever you say in a weird way, you're going to be, you're going to be chill, bro. You don't need a super clever pickup line. You don't got, you don't got to be the Rizzler. You don't have to look like Marlon. Just be a genuine person. Be polite and, uh, you know, your vibe will attract your tribe.
If she rejects you and she's like, "Ew, get away from me. Blah, blah, blah. You're disgusting." Or like makes you feel weird about it. If she has bad energy, if she makes you feel bad about talking to her, that's a her problem. You honestly don't want that energy in your life. She's honestly saving you long-term if you think about it. Because if you bring that energy into your life and then you develop a relationship with her, like, it's just going to be cooked. It's you because talking to girls and hanging out with girls could honestly be the biggest waste of time, the biggest thing like ruining your life, or just such a propelling support system in your life. And the girls that are rejecting you, making you feel bad about approaching them are going to be the ones that you don't want to hang out with.
Now, let's talk about some warm-ups because approaching a girl, talking to a girl is scary. You know, it's, it's super scary. So, here's how to make it easier. First things first, warm up your social battery before you jump into the deep end. What do I mean by this? One thing that I like to do before I go out or before I know that I'm going to talk to girls, talk to a lot of people, is just compliment people. Flirt with everyone. Flirt with life. If I'm walking, if I'm taking the subway to a party, when I'm on the subway, I'll compliment someone's outfit. I'll talk to the cashier. I'll talk to the grandma on the street. It's just activating my social battery, warming it up, activating my whimsy spell, being more whimsical, being more playful, interacting with people in life. Because think about it, your social battery is kind of like a car. If you want to drive your car, you probably should warm it up so it performs better. It's not like you just start your car and instantly jolt to 100 miles per hour. You got to warm it up. You got to start slow. Start in gear one, then shift up to Mach 10. So, start slow. You know, if there's no one around you, FaceTime your friend before you go into the party, before you go into the bar, just talk to someone. Get that social lubricant going. Warming up your car. That'll make it way easier.
Second, let's talk about how to rebound. What do I mean? If we shoot a shot and it misses, we want to get the rebound, bro. We want to be able to deal with rejection so we can shoot again. First off, if a girl makes you feel bad for talking to them, that's an L human right there. You don't want that energy in your life anyways. You got to think. And honestly, I think one of the easiest ways to deal with rejection, to make approaching girls easy or talking to girls, is realizing that you are the GOAT. You are the prize. You are the king. You guys are all, if you're watching this video, you're Chad. You're a king because, like, you know, you got taste in life. If you're watching my video, type [ __ ]. Literally say to yourself, bro, "Oh well, that's her loss. That's honestly her loss. Like, she don't know what she's missing." And you got to understand that the more you like yourself, the less you care, the less you rely on the validation of girls, of randoms.
No, no, hold on, we got to pause this. If a girl doesn't see your potential, if a girl thinks that you're too much, she's like, "Oh, blah, blah, blah. He's not my type. Sorry for being too much. Hope you find less." We, you, me, I, we are the prize here. You know, what others think of me has nothing to do with who I am. And if you feel bad about getting rejected, if you feel bad about complimenting a girl, saying, "Hey, you're cute, blah, blah, blah," but she says, "Oh, sorry. I have a boyfriend." Or, "Oh, sorry. Like, you're not my type." Or whatever. You might feel bad. You might be like, "Dang, why did I hype her up for nothing? Like, f her, screw her." No. No, guys. No. Being polite is never a waste. You're literally releasing positive energy into this world. You're making someone's day better. How is that a waste? You should feel good about yourself. If you're like, "Dang, you know what? I just gave a..." I don't want to say gave a compliment out for free because, like, why is that not normalized to just hype people up, bro? I don't have to know you or be friends with you to hype you up. Like, "You look good, type." I don't know. That's a beautiful thing is what I'm saying, bro.
Next up, let's talk about if Shotty is in a group because a lot of, I don't know what it is. Why are the the baddest girls are always just surrounded by her friends? There's so many goalkeepers. Solo pushing a squad is so scary. It is so scary. O. So, if you're bold enough for this task, if you're like, "No, she's so cute. I have to shoot my shot. I don't care. Even if she's in a group, I don't care if I get rejected." First off, be proud of yourself for that. More. I need to be doing that more. I'm going to be honest. But here's some tips. What I've came to understand, what I've came to learn is that you definitely should be acknowledging the friends because I don't want to like say some refrigerator joke, but acknowledge the whole group. Introduce yourself. Why do people not introduce themselves when you talk to them? Like, let's say I'm with someone. Let's say I'm with someone and they run into someone they know. So then they ISO and it's like they don't even acknowledge me, bro. Why do people not do that? It pisses me off. Oh, no. I'm just h whatever. Just, you know, have social etiquette. Acknowledge the friends. That's how they'll like you more and whatnot. And then, as I said, be playful. Talk to them like you already know them. This will cause them to be more comfortable because a lot of times they're like, "Oh, who's this random trying to talk to me?" Blah, blah. People don't know you. Sure, that you're human also and not weird. And then be direct, but not too direct. Obviously, you know, you want to show interest. You want to say like, "Hey, you're cute. Like, we should hang out type, like on some, I want to be more than friends type thing if that's what you want." But don't be super pushy. "Oh my gosh, you're the most beautiful girl in the world, blah, blah." That's just going to turn her off. That's she's going to think that you're weird and creepy. So, honestly, talking to a girl when she's with her friend is like top-tier, high-skill level, uh, thing that's very challenging, but it's the risk to reward. You honestly just feel like the man after. It's like, even if you get rejected, you're thinking, "I did that. Yo, I..." You feel invincible, bro. You feel like you could do anything in the world. So, even if there's a goalkeeper, you could still score. Remember that. Talk to Shotty even if she's in a group.
How to stand out when you're talking to girls, when you're approaching girls, when you're outside, type. When you're meeting new people for the first time, even if it's not girls, if it's guys, whoever it is, it doesn't matter. No one wants to have the same boring NPC conversation. "Oh, how's your day?" "Oh, what do you do for work?" "Oh, what are you in school for?" "This?" "Oh, that's cool. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." No one cares, bro. Playful maxing. Focus on having fun. Turn up the vibes. Ask non-boring questions. Maxing. Focus on being interested in them instead of trying to be interesting. Don't try and play yourself up and seem super egotistical. Instead, make them the one that feels awesome. Make them the one that feels like, "Dang, my life is so interesting. This person, like, you know," make them feel good about themselves, bro.
So, here's some non-boring questions to ask someone when you're approaching a girl. Obviously, some of these are like, "All right, now realistically, would I say this to a girl in a conversation?" But the point is, don't ask boring questions. Be different. Stand out. Don't say, "How are you?" Buzz, she's just going to say, "Good." Don't say, "How was your day?" She's just going to say, "Good." Instead, say, "What have you been listening to?" That takes the conversation from boring to something that she's actually interested in. And when she's talking about what she's interested in, she's more comfortable. And then that means you're going to be more comfortable. And that can, and that's going to make the conversation more fun for both of you guys. So that way, a win is a win. You guys are about the goal is going to be experiencing. A win is, oh my, honestly, just focus on fun maxing and the other stuff like getting your number and actually hanging out and forming a genuine relationship with the person will come naturally if you just focus on having fun.
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Now let's talk about how to not rely on alcohol and drugs and other substances to talk to girls because a lot of people feel anxious. They feel nervous. They're like, "Oh, I just need this drink real quick and then I'll be good to talk to girls and then I'll be invincible." I just want to say that I understand it is easier to talk to girls, to talk to new people. Just socializing in general is easier with alcohol and all these other substances, but you don't want to have to rely on them. That is cope. You are nerfing yourself because it's going to condition yourself to think, "Oh, I can only talk to girls. I can only do this if I have some drink in me." And think that you can't do anything hard or risky or that that challenges you, that's nervous if you don't got that drink in you. So, I know it's hard, but just do it. And obviously, alcohol increases the vibes and makes you more outgoing. So, I don't want to say you should try and force yourself to be, "Oh, I'm super extroverted, blah, blah, blah," even if you don't have alcohol or you're not extroverted or whatever, just focus on increasing your vibe speedometer by 10%. People will match your vibe. People match the vibe of their environment. So, if your vibe is slightly higher, their vibe is going to be slightly higher. And then the vibes are going to be vibing. And then it's going to be super fun and no one's going to need drugs because everyone's going to be loose and everyone's going to feel more comfortable being themselves and that's going to cause the best vibes. Fun maxing, as I'm saying.
Okay. Now, confidence, confidence, confidence, confidence. I know alcohol makes us more confident to whatnot. But low-key, building confidence with girls starts with other areas in your life. What am I saying? All right. I honestly think that confidence in anything just comes down to you don't have to be a millionaire or have a six-pack or any of this stuff. It's just confidence comes from doing the thing that you said you were going to do. It's just building that trust in yourself. Trust in yourself is what confidence is. You know, for example, if you say to yourself, if you say to other people, "I'm going to get in shape for the summer," but you don't do it. You don't actually take action on what you told yourself you're going to do, then, you know, you're kind of lying to yourself. So, it's like, how are you going to ever have confidence if you know deep down in your heart that you didn't honor your word to yourself? But if you told yourself, "Oh, I'm going to get in shape for the summer," and then you did that, then you have confidence. "Oh, I did what I said I'm going to do. Oh, I trust myself." So, that means you can trust yourself in other areas of your life. So, understand that you don't just wake up one day, look in the mirror, and feel like the most confident version of yourself. It's slowly day-to-day building it up. And, uh, you know, it is a journey. Uh, you don't got to be too hard on yourself. It is a journey. It does take time.
And realize that it's okay to embarrass yourself in pursuit of human connection. Because as I said before, human connection is one of the greatest gifts of life. Why is it weird to want it? Why is it weird to want a girlfriend? Why is it weird to want a friend group? Why is it weird to want to socialize? Realize that it's not weird. It's literally essential for surviving in this world. So, don't feel bad about wanting friends, wanting a friend group, wanting to talk to girls. Do not feel bad about it. Do not feel bad about it.
Okay. Now, let's talk about what shots to take. We all need, especially me, need to be talking to girls more. But I do want to make it super, super clear that it's better to be alone than to be hanging out with the wrong girl. It's better to be alone than having a girl that's, it's better to be alone than to be hanging out with a girl who's dragging your energy down, bringing you down, just causing you stress and all this other stuff. You know, I say this to say that you're not going to find your wife at the club, bro. Understand that the environment that you meet someone in says a lot. For example, if you met her at the club, realize that she might be a party club girl. Realize that what you're getting yourself into. And if that causes you stress, if you're like, "Oh, you're my girlfriend. Why do you want to party?" Blah, blah, blah. Brother, she, when she met you, she was partying. So, why would you, you know, does that make sense, bro? But if you met her at book club, though, you know, don't be, don't be surprised if she likes books.
Story time. I low-key forgot I added this. A couple weeks ago, I was out with a friend and we were at this party, you know, and there was this cute girl with her friends and I was like, "You know what? This girl is cute. I, I should talk to her. I should talk to her." What ended up happening is that I got her number. But the thing is, I honestly never texted her at all after that. Now, why did I do that? Why did I not text her? Because slowly throughout the conversation, I realized, you know, I don't know if I really want to hang out with this girl. She was talking to me about all the stuff that she was into. And I realized it doesn't really align with the stuff that I'm into. Not that it has to align, but I realized that wasn't really the energy that I want in my life right now. Like, I knew I would have been wasting my time if I hung out with her. And it's like, bro, it's 2026. Your boy is getting older. My time is valuable. I don't want to be wasting my time on a girl that I don't see a future with. Not, not that you have to be dating to marry or anything, but it's like I could just tell that this girl wasn't for me. So, I didn't want to waste my time. Um, so I say all that to say that understand that your environment that you meet the person in, the girl in, says a lot. If you're meeting girls at the club, you might get a club girl. Just understand what shots you're taking and choose your shots wisely. Obviously, it's a numbers game. We want to be putting up shots, but quality of the shots matter, too.
Next up, let's talk about how dating should not be expensive. Now, the other day, one of my friends told me, "Oh, the reason why I don't talk to girls is because I'm broke. I don't have money. All this other stuff." And in my opinion, this is cope. Broke is cope. Dating should not be expensive, guys. You see, we don't need to be dropping a bag, going on dates. You don't need to be taking girls to five-star Michelin star dinner and like tipping 300% or whatever. You don't need to be doing that. The best dates are high-key free. The best dates are high-key coffee, walking, and yaps with a cool view. The right girl for you will. But if you're putting up a mask, if you're playing a character, playing a facade, then she might fall in love with that facade, not you. The girl that's right for you won't care if you don't got diamonds and pearls yet. Sit down till you come up. The right girl will support you and love you and know that. But that, you know, that's that's down the lines.
A lot of the times nowadays, especially on social media, we see grind, grind, grind. You got to chase your dreams. You got to work 24/7. Hustle culture. But I'm slowly starting to realize, and I think a lot of people are realizing, that nonchalant grind hustle culture is dead. We need to be yearn-maxing, living our lives, and actually enjoying life with friends, with family, with a cute girl now and then.