Do Modern Women Give Good Relationship Advice? ©

[Music] I think I have to admit, when you talk about high-value men, um, those that are, I have friends and the men that I've dated, a lot of things you are spot on. They're, they're very big on images. Um, they are big on being catered to. I'm a woman who used to desire those type of men. I don't really desire them that much because I don't want to fulfill what they desire. And one of the things we mentioned it the other night is, you got to share that man. A lot of times, that man, if he makes 400,000 or more, he may have another woman. And I know I cannot deal with that. So I think a lot of women sometimes say they want these men, but they've never dated it. Because if they had, they wouldn't be just focusing on the money. There's a lot of women that have men with money, but they're not always happy either.

Well, okay, so the follow-up question for that would be, if you, that's the kind of man you would like to have, you just don't like that aspect of it? Well, I would say this. Um, I'm, I'm 41, right? So when I listen to the women, when I was in the 30s, when I heard the girls come up here, they remind me of myself. Because I was like, he got to have a lot of money. Um, he got to take care of all the bills. That's what I was on. And I ran those circles. But what I've learned is, a lot of those men just couldn't be faithful. So then I learned, well, that's my deal breaker. Faithfulness is my deal breaker. So my, the question I have then is, because I hear what you're saying, but then I also like, yeah, uh, that sounds good. Okay. Because, uh, you 41 years old, married? Any kids? Nope. I froze my eggs though, so I got a safety net. Just thinking. So, so you, you're accustomed to a certain standard of life. This is true. Uh, and if a man is making the median, what a black man is making, 42,500, he can't afford just the end of life. So is that my problem? Uh, see that? No, it's, it's the reality of the world. See, what happens far too often, especially in our communities, black women wait too long to get married. You wait till you're too old. You wait till you have too much experience. And your, your experience and your income has gone up. And that is inversely proportional to your sexual marketplace value. So can I speak to that? So let me, let me finish making the example. Because, because I hear women come on and say, you know what, that high value thing, I really don't want that because I don't want to have to share him. All right. But then, are you going to be able to look at a man making 45,000 a year and respect him to the same level that a high value man would be respected? Um, I will respect a man who's hard-working. And as long as he doesn't try to minimize me in any way. Now, that's, that's the biggest thing. If he's okay with me being my full self. You didn't answer whether or not you respect him to the same level you expect the high value man. Well, let me tell you this. I'm going to say yes. Only because I'm going to tell you this. I've dated high value men. I've dated the men with the Rolls-Royces and all the cars and all the glitz and glamour. And they always thought because they had the cars and the glitz and glamour, that you got to bow down to them. And I get, I get it. But I'm talking about the man who's working at the post office. I would say no. I'm gonna tell you my requirements. I want you to be attractive. So if you're a guy that's working at the post office and you're attractive and you're good. Let me tell that time out. Why do you want to be attractive? I can't have nothing. No, let me explain. See, this is what's up. What's wrong with so many of our women? You're supposed to be the attractive one, not us. Black women today have atavistic mating standards, very primitive. Meaning, I want you to look good so he could make 40,000 dollars a year as long as he looked good. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. Um, he could make 40,000 dollars a year. I'm not. That's what most black men make. 42,500. Okay. So Kevin, what is, so are you saying in your perspective that it's over for me then? I don't know. It's not. No. What I'm saying is, your price is too high. How is my price too high? Okay. Uh, oh, well, well, first of all, you ask me and I'm going, you're, you're 41 and unmarried. You're freezing by choice. Yeah. That's no. Well, no, I can say that. I was once engaged when I was in college. Did you? Okay. You know, I just got. See, that's what I mean. The engagement queens. You can't make this shirt. Don't overtalk me. No, no, no. I said, if we could start giving black women credit for engagements. Yeah. Act like that [ __ ] matters. I'm not married, but I'm not by choice. Unless you're turning away proposals of men of value and esteem. It doesn't matter if y'all talk about, you're unmarried. When ain't no, when ain't nobody that you want to marry trying to marry. Kevin, can I speak to that? No, because I haven't gotten to my point. Because I haven't gotten to my point. Okay. You got. Okay. You asked me why is it over for me? That's what you asked. But I want us to say one thing. Okay. Let me get to my point. Dude, let me. Okay. I didn't even. This is why it's over for a lot of sisters too. Look, you can be right all you want to. Men control access to marriage. And one of the major reasons that older women are getting passed over for younger women is, you're too masculine. You're too bossy. You're too opinionated. That works well in the corporate world when you're making other people successful and rich and fine. But it does not work well when you're trying to connect with a man. Why is it over for many women your age? One, because your income has risen. And females have evolved. Evolutionary biology says women want men to have at least what they have. The older you get, the more money you make, the more education you have, the more resources you get, thereby inflating your estimation of yourself. But that estimation is not, is not your sexual marketplace value. It is going down. Can I, can I respond? I want to be respectful because it's your prayer. But do you understand the example I just gave you? First proportional relationship. I understand. But I cannot. Can I speak? No, because I was being, I'm being respectful. This is your platform, so I definitely want to honor your rules. Um, I just got out of a relationship in January. And I could be married right now if that was my goal. But I would rather be happy than just marry to say I have a husband. And I don't think that should be looked down upon. I don't think that's, that's, that's my honest truth. You could, you know, feel away, but that's an honest truth. I was in a relationship that he wanted you. How long are you? How long you in it? We were, we were together since last year. Eight months. Okay. And he was ready to be married very soon, very early on. And I, I don't want to be married just to be married. I'm not gonna live with fear and say, oh, okay, do you want to be married? Huh? You know, your man. Excuse me. Do you want to be married? I want to be happily married. If I get married, it's going to be because you want to be married. Oh, did he want to be married? Do you want to be married? I would be married to if it makes sense. I'm not going to be married just to be married. And I'm, and I don't, I don't feel okay. All right. All right. So again, I've asked you, do you want to be happily married? And you, I want to be. Are you going to be married? I want to be happily married. Man, I'm going to be honest. I don't care about your happiness. I don't care about your love. Marriage is a practical choice. And you can make all these things you want, ma'am. And yes, you're 41. She's going to be 50 just like that. I know I will be. So the question becomes, if you want to be married, I mean, let's be real. You're freezing your eggs for a reason. Why? I did because I didn't want the pressure to just go out and get pregnant because of my age and my clock might have. He's gonna carry the baby. I mean, I mean, if, if I can't carry the baby, then I'll get a surrogate. I'm gonna have to. So, so, so again, but in order for all that to happen, you have to have a man that you deem worthy propose to you. Okay? And that's. And hold on, hold on. Okay. That man, if he can meet your high standard, he can meet a lot of other women's standards as well. And here's the problem. There are hundreds of you, thousands of you. Why should he pick you over the one that can carry her own babies at 24, 25, or 26, who are willing to get on his program, who don't have as many expectations as a woman your age? Well, it's, listen, this is what I would say. If he wants to, if he feels the way that you're feeling, then he's not the man for me. And I have no problem with that.

[Music] Aggressive sign language. That whole, "if he's not the man for you," that's, that's, I don't play that Tyler Perry Christian crap. That's not it. I don't do that over here. You can do that over there, but I don't do that over here. Okay. Kevin, I'm being respectful. I really am. I'm sure you don't have to be respectful. Here's the thing, you being respectful is what you're supposed to do. You're not doing me a favor. Okay. I wanted to. Okay. I wanted to have a conversation. Um, I'm hoping we could have a conversation. So I guess my, am I, am I at the ability to ask you a question? Is that fine? It's about the topic. Sure. Okay. So what do you want me to accept? Because from your, because I want you to accept. I want you to accept your sexual marketplace value. Okay. So, so what does that equal to? So what is, what are you saying that I need to accept? Okay. What a sexual marketplace value of a 41-year-old woman is lower than a 31-year-old woman. He's lower than a 21-year-old woman. Because if a man wants to have multiple children, he cannot have them with you carrying them. Okay. That's true. And I don't want to have multiple children. So I said, if a man wants to have multiple children, I don't care. See, you keep going back to what you want. You control access to your body. And for a time frame, women control access to whether or not kids are born. But see, what older women, especially accomplished women, have a hard time is accepting is, your value has a shelf life after 35. Geriatric pregnancy. If you met a man that you found that you thought was the bee's knees and he wanted three children, you can't carry them. Okay. But Kevin, I would say this. Right? Try to say that. Is that true? I agree with you. So he was, so, so he would have, so either he would have to forego having the children in his legacy, or he'd have to go find someone who could. Or it could be a man that might already have children and doesn't want. Not my example. That's not my example. That's a different example. Can I just say this? I, I, I respect your insight. I really, that's why I came on your platform. But I'm not gonna allow what you think is gonna be for my life to be my life. If you are, what, I don't know you, lady. Right? Is that? Well, my name is Kendra. Ma'am, I don't know you. Okay. So the thing is, I'm not gonna allow you to start getting upset because I'm not. Kevin, I'm not upset. I've never. I'm not upset. You came to my platform. Now you guys in my opinion. Okay. So to tell me what you're not going to allow me to do, that's not necessary. I, I wasn't trying to be rude. I was just, ultimately, what would you call it? What would you call it? I'm not going to allow what you say to do what? Because I mean, listen, I, I hear you. But I don't. There's plenty of women that I know that have had babies in their 40s, that have gotten married in their 40s. It, it can happen. So I'm talking black women. Yes. I'm talking about. Yeah. One in four black women were married. One in four black women were married in their lifetime. So you telling about the agent black women who married off before, didn't have babies. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm sorry. That is unfortunate. And here's the thing, if you're waiting until your 40s to marry and have babies, you did something wrong in your 20s and 30s. I mean, well, I would say this, I focus on my career, which I know you feel could be something wrong. I have no regrets. I have no regrets. And I don't feel like there's anything wrong. I don't feel like there's anything wrong. Let me go ahead and check. Let me tell you, turn your people in the comment section up. I don't care what y'all think. I mean, honestly, I don't. Look, I don't judge by what women want. If you want to focus on your career, do that. But see, one thing that women have not been told in this country is there's a cost to all of it. You can't have it all. Men can't have it all. There's trade-offs and choices. If you chose to focus on your career, I am all for that. Do it. But it comes at a cost of your prime childbearing years. I don't make human beings the way they are. So this is, this is, this is the choice women have to make. I, listen, I, I wholeheartedly agree. And like, and I was, I was engaged to my college sweetheart. I went to Hampton and I chose to focus on my career instead of becoming a wife. I have no regrets. Um, and just as I hear what you're saying with statistics, one of my best friends just got married last year. She's pregnant, due any day now, and she's 41. And she's a black woman. So all I'm saying is, yes, you're right. Maybe the statistics aren't there. But in my reality, in my world, I know women that. Anecdotal evidence doesn't change the fact. Huh? Anecdotal evidence doesn't change the fact. You know, people like you that does not change the reality. Well, okay, I'm acting away from that. What I'm saying is, ma'am, I'm just saying, listen to what we're doing in the black. Listen to what we're doing in the black community. Take it away from you. Take it away from your friends. We're actually having a conversation about women having babies in their 40s. That's how warped we've become in the black community because we cannot get it together in our prime mating and marrying years because we value, because so many of our women value these so-called careers. Now, I don't doubt that you have a career. But I gotta let you know, how many women I've talked to over the countless years who talk, call their job a career. You gotta. Most people have a job. Most people have jobs. Most people don't have careers. And it seems to be, why can Becky, Marisol, Myling, and Anu all go out and have jobs and careers just like black women have jobs and careers and still be able to spin that plate and find a husband? Why can every other race of women seem to be able to do that, but black women are doing it at a one out of four ratio? And the next closest women are white women, who are married twice as much as you are. And that's married to anybody. You're not marrying anybody. Can I respond to that? I hear what you're saying. I hear what you're saying. But I also think that, um, if women are realistic and they are open to dating and maybe not always focusing on the money, and maybe to give up some things on their list, it is possible. I know you said yourself, your mother got married at 50. There's people that do still find love in their 40s. And I just think that I don't want women to feel hurt. And her three sisters died alone. Huh? And her three sisters on the way to dying alone. Well, speaking of dying alone, I had a mother who wasn't married when she died, and she didn't die alone. She, she died. Do you think black women have been given? Do you think black women have been given the accurate message for life? I will say, I, I will say no. I will say no. I'll give you that. But I will say this too. I, I guess a lot of things I do agree with you on, Kevin. And that's why I came on your platform. Um, but I will say the dialogue thing. I don't want to give women. I don't think women should be fair. Um, oh, I do. I think fear. I think I think there's some healthy fear. Because here's the thing, when we do this whole coddling, don't act like it is what it is. No, we need to tell you smoking causes cancer. We don't need to tell you smoking causes bait. We don't smoke. It makes you happy. Because, because I'm looking at our community. Black men are at the bottom. Black women at the bottom. Black boys are at the bottom. We're the only. You're the only group of women who stand out proudly saying, I don't need a man to make it through life. No other group or race of women is so bold to stand outside and say, put all the pressure of the world on me because I don't need him. Well, I don't believe that. I believe men are very important. I love the black man. Uh, my favorite culture. Okay. I agree with that. Let me ask you this, Kevin. Do you think a woman, because I hear you talk about settle, and I always wondered your answer to this. Should a woman be with a guy who might be cheating on her, not treating her the best? Do you think it's better to have a man than to not have a man at all? Yeah. See, that's a disingenuous question. So when you come in setting the table as if it's the choice between a negative and a man, I reject that question. Why don't you give it the other way around? Do you think a woman should have a man who actually she can deal with and partner with and support? Why come in assuming bad faith to begin with? No, I'm not. Yes, you did. You came in and gave me a negative versus having a man. And that means if he's gonna do this, should she choose that? Why don't you give me the other side? Give me the good faith. Well, okay. Well, no, there is a good faith argument. But I just heard you saying several times. I think sometimes what I'm saying is, why didn't you come to the door given the good faith argument? Why do I have to ask you for it? Well, I think. Well, I think naturally, if a man is treating you right, if you find a Russell Wilson, will be the reason for you to leave the NFL MVP quarterback? That's the only thing. Okay. We'll take the money. Or just a man, period, that celebrates you. What I'm asking you is, I don't celebrate you. He's supposed to. You're supposed to celebrate him. But what I'm asking you, Kevin, is this, and I'm not trying to be combative. I'm just simply asking you a question. And I'm, I'm really trying not to be competitive here. Is there something about to try? There's some women who date men who might not be treating them the best. And I always just wonder, because I know you, you preach a lot about settling and being with men and. Well, I've talked a lot about settling because that's what a lot of women talk about all the time. When it really ain't settling. See, what I'm saying is, I ask you the question. Okay. One of the two things wrong in our community is one, so many of our women coming to into interaction with black men in bad faith. You assume the worst, the negative. Oh, man. Go rewind this part. You gave me an example. Do you think a woman should settle for a man who's cheating on her, abusing herself, and so forth, in order to just have a man? That is a disingenuous French toast ass position. When you could have easily come in and gave me the positive, good faith. Do you think it would be better for a woman to be with a man who she can actually live with, to cooperate with, and build a life with, or have nothing? You could have made that choice to come to the door, good faith or bad faith. You chose to come. No, you chose to come in bad faith because that is the default position in our community. Well, no, Kevin, I, I just. Well, let me. Okay, let me apologize if it came across that way because I, it's not. No apologies necessary. That just shows you where we are in the community. Right? But what I, what, what I'm saying is, there are times though, obviously, there's men out there that treat their women good. I know several. I know several men who celebrate their wives and they're good men. So I wasn't asking that question because I think that's a no-brainer. If you're with a man that is treating you good and you can build it, of course you'd be with him. But there are times when women are dealing with men who are bringing them more sorrow than happiness. And I was just wondering if you think being a single woman in that predicament would be better off than being with the man who might be bringing you drama. That's all I was simply just trying to ask that question. There's three types of men. There's a man that treats you good. All right. No, no, no, no. See, this is what we do too often. We do this too often, acting as though women don't have accountability and consequences and immunity. No man. Okay, I'll let you go on for 30 seconds. And you say a man should be celebrated. I don't know why black women come in and talk about men should be celebrated. You're supposed to celebrate the man. He's not supposed to celebrate you. What other race of women runs around talking about them? You need to celebrate them. What are we celebrating? Who's on top? Who leads? Well, Kevin. Okay. Who's on top? Who leads? Um, I, I, I do say that yes, the man leads. But I have to just speak for the men that I know that are happily married. They celebrate their wives. They do. All right. Okay. Okay. Man, but who? Okay. This notion is toxic to come in this topic. Like, yes, it is. Because it keeps you, it keeps women with this overinflated self that they need to be celebrated. To where asking women, I yesterday had a woman on Instagram thinking that being a traditional housewife was talking about slavery, just because she had to actually cook a damn meal. I saw that. So, uh, that's a woman who shares your reflection. How she's black? Oh, she's my reflection. Okay. Yes. So my notes. The notion, the way so many women talk as though you're some like you're some sort of god or deity that's supposed to be celebrated. The way we do it over here is men of value lead. Women of women of value follow them. You celebrate your man. You praise your man. What y'all do on your side is good for you. Hope it works for you. But more people on this side are winning. More people on that side got opinions and no husbands, especially no husbands they value. So you talk about Russell Wilson. I don't know many men on this side that respect Russell Wilson. Not because he married a woman with a child, is because he's a sin. Why is he a sin? Why is he? Uh, because that's an entire program. And here's the thing. How about this? Because the men say he is. Well, okay. Has a female that I want to send. Because if there's a man. Well, then go ahead. Then you. So, so, so you want to have a. So again, and thank you guys. Listen to what she said. And she wants to step. She wants to see him. She wants to see him. Because a man, a man like Russell Wilson, who puts Sierra on a pedestal, pedestalizing a woman, is. I said this three weeks ago. Show me a culture or a race of competitive people where the women were pedestalized above the being. Show me a competitive civilization. You don't. Men's purpose needs to be pedestalized, not the female. It doesn't mean that the one. See, there's a problem. So many women in the black community want to be sitting up like this, queen. And if a man is sitting up here looking at you, he cannot fight everybody else, compete with everybody else, and defend the world. Sorry, doesn't work that way. And that's why so many women, black women, are by themselves. Because they, if they can't be treated like the queens that they think they are, then they'd rather have nothing. And no one's gonna stop you. Because if it ain't, because the problem ain't black men, it ain't black men. Because ain't no man marrying you. When it says one out of four black women were married, that means anybody. So your career, your job, your accomplishments, whatever is walking around making you feel great and wonderful about yourself, that works well until you about 55 or 60. Then what? What about the rest of life? Um, are you asking me that direct question? The point, the ultimate point is, we get nowhere when we have women who still think they should be celebrated ahead of the men. Well, I think they should celebrate each other. Who should be celebrated? Who should be? Who should lead? I don't. I don't mind the man being the head of the house. Give me your mind. Wow. That was the wrong answer. Like, I think if a man. Okay. So who should throw the ball up? So who should? So who should? So who should handle the ball? Uh, on, on, off, inside of football. I don't mind the quarterback handling. Who's the thunder pass? I don't mind the quarterback. Or is that the quarterback's job? Okay. I thought, I thought I was giving you the. I, I think we're giving the same answer. No, we're not. We're not. Because I don't mind. See, it doesn't matter if you mind or not. It's what it should be. Okay. So the man leads the household. I don't feel like the female can't have an opinion on anything. What she can. She's advised. She's valued counsel. And I, and I do think the man should be celebrated. But I also think, and I witness it, men who hold their wives to high value and, uh, will do anything to protect her and, uh, would say that they will not be the man they are without that particular woman. I had high-value men that you call high-value men say things like that. So I know. What do women say about their men? Say again. What do women say about their men? Oh, they love them. They appreciate them. They think that they're king. So it goes both ways. They're celebrating each other. I don't think that's a bad thing. Okay. Listen, I appreciate you bringing me on your show. We're going to agree to disagree on a couple of things. Like I said, Friday. No, well, one way works and one way doesn't. Well, I mean, I will say this, may, what, then maybe I live in some exceptions to the rules because I'm just speaking on the things that you do. One in four black women will marry. You do. And I don't know where you, where you were. If you, I don't know if you just look at my show Monday through Friday, that's the world. Okay. Well, Kevin, can I just say this one thing? I feel like you do give good advice, but sometimes when the women come up here, you make them feel hopeless. Because there's certain things that you know. I don't make you feel anything. You're responsible for your own feelings. Okay. I will take that back. I will retract that. But I would say, if a woman has, I don't have any kids. But if a woman has children and if she's a certain age, and you feel like there's no man out there for her, then what? So if I, if I tell a woman, what the statistics are, and what the men that, and if I tell you what the men are saying. See, what you don't seem to realize is, if I had a drone follow me every day when I go out into Atlanta, around this country, how many men will come and say, from, from high school to on Walker, saying, thank you, thank you for telling the truth. Thank you for saying what I can't say every day. Dozens of men. Can I take a picture with you? Thank you for telling the truth. I wish. I'm so glad. So it ain't what Kevin is saying. You see, the problem is, so many women are focusing on the messenger, the tone, or whatever. You're losing the fact that you're finally getting some accurate information that ain't telling you, don't forget your crown, you're a queen, and all this other kind of stuff, because all those people want to sell your books, say your dream. When you talk about leaving hopeless, I think many women who bought this [ __ ] that these men have been selling, and then turn around, find out they're cheating, just like everybody else, and then ain't the man they say, then they should feel hopeless. At least I'm telling you two plus two is four. Make a decision what you want. Two, two, or four. Okay. Well, that. First of all, you're absolutely right. I know plenty of men that that speak your praises. Um, like I even said, there's things that you have said that I have agreed with. And things that I know high value is a thing with money. Men with money will tell me certain things that you do tell the people on your platform. So I'm not disagreeing with you there. If there's any disagreement that I would ever have is just the a court of women. If they don't, they they can't get married in their 40s or they said they could get married. I didn't say they couldn't get married. What I'm saying is, what I say is, you have to pick. First of all, you're not gonna keep. I hate when you ladies do this. You oversimplify what I say and then expect me to actually hold it. When if I told a woman that she can't get married. Well, I, I know you have this thing called the danger zone. And what does that mean? What does that mean? The danger zone. If she's in a certain age bracket, like if, if she has kids, if she's overweight, and if she's a certain age. You have. So you just. So Kendra, you're disproving that you don't know what I talk about. That's not what the danger zone means. So no. So, so, so this is what I mean. You're a professional woman. And you're in what? You're in media too, right? You're running. You watch my show. I define the danger zone countless times. And you still were saying something. It ain't the danger zone. The danger zone is the years between 27 and 35. Okay. I, okay. Well, this is what I'm saying. That's not it. Okay. 27 to 35, when a woman needs to really focus like a laser on the outcome she wants. If you want to be married with children, you need to focus like a laser. Because after age 30, by 35, you hit what's geriatric pregnancy. That's not Kevin. That's nature. That's biology. See, what so many, what happens so often is, you ladies get triggered. You think you hear what I say. You're gonna try to make the danger zone be all that stuff, and it was none of that stuff. Okay. You're gonna try to say, well, you tell a woman that they're this and that. And I never. I don't say that. Okay, ma'am. You'll be able to go back. I'm gonna. This is gonna be up. You'll barely hear what you said. And the fact of the matter is, I don't tell women that they can't. I tell them it's unlikely depending upon their particular situation. And yes, let me reiterate, if you are a woman over 35, overweight, and with children, it is highly unlikely that you're going to find a man making six figures plus who wants to marry you. Because those men want something in return too. They typically don't want somebody else's children. Now, is that meaningless? Hopeless? No. What is telling them is, you've made your choice to allow yourself to reproduce one, two times with or without the benefit of a husband, most of the times without. You've allowed yourself to become the physical shape you are. That's your responsibility. It is not this man's responsibility to lower his standards, settle, when he's had to work to become this, this thing. No one gave him this. He deserved to get something from this. But see, we're so busy trying to tell women that they should be celebrated, then we forget to think about, what about your men? We need to start celebrating men, black men. And forget the black men. What about the boys? [ __ ] the men. What you doing with the boys? All these women with children, what are you doing with your boys? Black boys reading at the fourth grade level. Black boys are behind. Forget us. You don't have to like us. But what are you doing with your boys? Sitting next to your daughters. And more often than not, women are telling their daughters, get an education, do this, and so forth. And they're making their sons punks, putting them in Jordans and pink shirts, and making them son husbands. And they are raising the same men that you ladies complain about. Prioritizing sooner or later, this old nasty or bad old patriarchy, you're gonna have to realize that it's the one thing that's made this world evolve. Okay. Can I, I know we, I know you probably have to go to somebody else, but there's one more thing I want to talk to you about if, if you allow it. I know it's your platform. Because I feel like the dying alone thing. I know my uncle died alone. He was a good man. My father found him dead a day after. He was. Your father. Your uncle died alone. He was wet. I said he was a man. So I'm not sure when you talk about dying alone, it can go both ways. Now, see, that's what we start. That's what we started off today, right? That's exactly what we started off talking about. Is that bad for me to say? Yet, yes, it is. How? Because this is exactly. You can't make this [ __ ] up, guys. It's always when it gets tight on women, we've got to make it always go both ways. This overgeneralization. See, here's the thing about men dying alone. Men have always died alone. They've been called weirdos, hermits, loners. But men at least have the decency to leave everybody else to [ __ ] alone. They'll sit in their cabin, sit there eating a Hungry Man or Swanson or ramen noodles. They'll, they'll even go homeless. What do you think all these men out here at home? So many groups of homeless women. Nowhere in the world where women are by themselves do they not require and demand stuff from the state. It's killing Japan. It's killing China right now. Women who are unmarried, living in communes and groups of one another. But then they're getting older and older and older. And the state cannot support aging people. It used to be your nuclear family, your extended family, who took care of mama and papa and granny and auntie. But now you got adults who are choosing to be independent, making 60, 70,000 a year when they're in their 30s or 40s, doing decent, but they're not living high in the hall. But you don't have no retirement. Are you awake? There's one illness or one fall from being broke. So dying alone, women don't sit around at 50 or 60 years old and not demand government assistance, benefits of some sort. They are demanding something on the system. So men are still supporting you. And that is going to break a society. We cannot afford it. So like it or not, ladies, uh, when we start seeing homeless elderly women like we see homeless men, then women start getting the picture. Because like it or not, the coffins are empty. You can't. You're not gonna just be. Cause many women still think, yeah, well, if we get too bad, I'll just go to the church. I'll go to the Jesus house. What about when all that's closed? What about when there's no more resources? Where those women gonna go? The same place homeless men have always gone. Outside. But do you believe that marriage benefits men too? Like, I know you, I know you do. I believe what benefits me. Do you feel okay? And because I don't have to ask my questions very correctly with the words. So I know that you believe women, uh, marriage is a benefit to women. Do you believe that marriage is a benefit to men? Like, men try to find wives? Like, is that important to them? Or. Well, it used to be. It used to be when women valued marriage and valued men. But today, more often than not, women value a man's resources, ability to provide. That's why I stick in the high-value area. Because I realize that most women don't want a man making 40 some odd thousand dollars a year. I asked you that 30 minutes ago. Would you respect the man making 45,000 dollars a year? And the answer you had was no. You, you got it. I didn't say that. No, you didn't. What you did not do was answer. I remember what you did. You, you did not answer the direction. First of all, that has a job. So I didn't say that's not. But now the answer was ultimate distinct delight. The lifestyle. Would you be willing to lower your life? Are you willing to lower your lifestyle? Oh, lower my lifestyle. Yeah. Because, okay, uh, I'm assuming you make more than 42,000 a year. Yes. Okay. So if he's making 42,000 dollars a year, uh, he's only gonna be able to pay whatever percentage of his overall income towards the mortgage, the lights, everything else, and even the car. So if you drive a BMW, you supposed to get a bicycle? So I'm supposed to get a lower car? Then I'm just asking because that's what that's. Let me explain. That's what a man would have to do. That's what I mean. So that's what a man would have. That's what a man would be expected to do. If a man was earning more than his woman, a, the world would expect that man to get him a decent car and her decent car. The world would look at that man crazy if he was driving the car that his income could afford and she was riding around in a Honda Civic and he was riding around in a Mercedes. The world would look at him all kind of craziness. But see, now, can I say, God respond to that, Kevin? That's on the man to have more stability and confidence in himself. Because if you're worried about the world, ma'am, that, ma'am, that, but that's not. We, we can't get paid. No, no, no. You asked, is it on me to lower my lifestyle? Well, if you can't afford to go. See, a man making less than you is not used to going to eat the places you do go to do things you do. So you're gonna have to forego doing those things unless you want to pay for them. I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. And I know that you might not know. And I'm, and I'm a, and I'm a smarter fan to know that that comes with a woman lacking respect for a man. So we can, we can play around this all we want to. You can say, I don't want to deal with a high-value man if it regards sharing it with somebody. I'd rather do this. But this man over here is not going to get high-value man respect. And he's going to always know that this dude was really your first choice, but you didn't want to deal with this. You're not going to put him at the same level of pedestal that you would have to put this man on to share or honor him like they need to be. So honestly, is there any value to marriage or average guy today? No, because modern women are not marriageable. Like the women of before. Do not. Modern women today are not ready to be with their mothers were, their grandmothers, and their great-grandmothers were. They're not. I didn't make it that way. There's. I guess. I guess I'm gonna live in the exception to the rule area. And that's fine. At 41 years old, I try to do that too. But when I'm talking to people across the board, I don't do that. When I talk to 24-year-old women who tell me that they could not marry a plumber off rip, just because of the title plumber, and she's a political science major. You, what do you want me to tell them? My thought though, that I, I built a career. Like that's where I kind of get confused. Because if I'm not judging no choice, right? So it's your choice. Okay, ma'am. You keep asking, is it your fault? I don't know why you keep asking me this. Your choice. You choose the outcomes. Here's the way. Like, here's the bottom line for me and you and everybody. Relationships are reflective. You attract what you are. Okay. I agree. So if the man you were with eight months ago wasn't understanding, you allowed him in your life for eight, eight months. Eight valuable months. At 40. I'll be okay though. I have other. I don't have a problem in that area. And one day I'm gonna get married, Kevin. And you're gonna be invited to the wedding. And when I have my friend. Like you act like I'm sitting here cheering and saying that you're not. But what I'm saying is, modern women's estimation of themselves, amount of black women's estimation of yourself, is you're more prideful than average men. I'm more prideful. Black women are more prideful than black women, in my opinion. My personal opinion. Have more pride than most men. Let me explain what I mean. Let me explain what I mean. Because you ask a lot of educated sisters, the first thing you lead with is your accomplishments. That is a, that is a masculine thing. When women, when, when women, that's not a female. That's not a feminine thing. Don't go on my show. I got what you think. This is where do you think this sound from come from? I'm a PhD. That came for me asking a woman, where's your husband? What husband? I would not choose to be. I'm a PhD. And the thing is, if the ultimate goal for so many of these women is they want to be in an emotionally significant, profound relationship, having their own children, these PhDs, these masters, these careers, especially, especially when the truth comes out that they really don't want to have to pay significant bills after they're pregnant and don't want to have to pay but a small portion of the overall financial family load after marriage, then these careers and jobs are just ego projects. Because what you plan on doing is, if you get the kind of man you want to get, you're going to jettison it for a period of time anyway, while everybody else is working. So these careers are ego projects for most. So if that's what women choose to do, great. Do it. But then you come out here at 35, 40 years old and talk about, I can't find no man on my level. All these men are beneath me, yadda yadda yadda yadda. And then act like the problems with the men. No, you waited too long. Your price is too high. Your eggs is dried up. You out of shape. Your attitude is not where it needs to be. And then you think somebody should value your socioeconomic status when it's actually your looks, get feminine, cooperative, submissive, the things. It's always been okay. And I get to, and I get to be the [ __ ] that says this over and over again, because everybody else wants you to buy their seminars and their books. I don't have a seminar, a book. No, again, like I said, Kevin, the things.

That you've said on your platform. I have heard men say to me and talk about the things that they won't say to women. So I have heard those things. So that's why I said there's a lot of things I I agree with. There's some things I disagree with, but that's life. And I mean, again, I don't I don't want no smoke, Kevin. I was coming on your show. No, no, no. I'm looking for a clip. I'm looking for a clip when I had a woman here for me.

Okay, you wanna hear a clip? Okay. No, no. This woman that came on my show and she she's a she's not a successful woman, but she does hair here in Atlanta. And she made the example of when she's sitting and listening to all these successful entrepreneurs, executives, businesswomen in her chair that they're all complaining about the same thing. I can't find no man on my level. But when you were 35 plus, you should have been out of the game for 10 years. See what I'm saying is, for women who want to have a career or whatever, there's a man out there that you can make a deal with. But the problem is, far too many black women did not prioritize finding or being found by a suitable man. They thought they told they were told focus on this and then when you decide you want to settle down, then you can turn around and go get one. That ain't how it works. Every other group of women realize that I need to find it in college, in grad school, early on in process, and then grow with him up. But this is where students come along. You didn't find him when he was in school. So now you get to this point, you don't want no build a boo or build a bread, okay? So you want this man over here. You want the man who's already in process on his purpose, don't need nothing from you, who can provide for you. But guess what? He wants a whole lot. Cartier don't go on sale, baby girl. I never seen Cartier go on sale. Never seen Cartier go on sale.

Well, I I do think women that make a certain amount of money or a certain category have to adjust some of their wants. Um, because you are right, the market value is a little different. My thing, and you cleared it up for me, because I always thought it was uh, you'll never get married and things that nature. But you clean that up for me tonight. That's why it's good to have a direct conversation. You never said it would never happen. Uh, but it can't happen. And I just think that, um, I just wanna, you were telling younger, when you were telling women what to do, would you tell them to wait till you're 40? Or would you tell them to get for prioritizing in your early 20s?

Well, let me be honest. I'm a career woman, so and I feel like my career is who I am. If you want to be married and have children, what would you tell women to do? Can I? You go. Let me answer because I would tell a woman not to have a baby until she's married. Um, I I strongly believe in being married before you have a child. And, um, but I wouldn't tell her to do it out of fear. I wouldn't tell her to do it what age. I have to be honest, the age that works for you. See, this is so this is so big. Give me a range. Give me a range, man.

Okay, well, let me say this. This is why I say this. I have college, cause Kevin, I want to answer the question. I this is why young. I'm gonna stop you right here, man. I'm gonna stop you right now and I'ma stop you right here. This is why young women are stopped coming to you. Ladies, this is that's the woman who called my show last night, Anthony. Who are you to be giving all this advice? And that is 46 year old. Young women are stopped listening to you because you won't stop. There's a reason that 32,000 people watching my show and most a lot of them are women because you're not telling them. You won't be direct with them. You won't just tell them, look, if you want to have your career, it's going to cost you. You won't tell them that if you want to get married and have kids, you need to do it before a certain age to have a better shot. You know better. But you won't tell them. Oh, no. Let me okay. Well, let me let me say this. I was engaged when I was in my 20s to my college sweetheart. I ain't asking about it. Can I? Kevin, let me just give you because I'm gonna give you the answer. And I made a choice. I made a choice not to get married, right? And I don't have kids for this day. So I could say I have regrets because I could be married and have wage. That was that was like 25. What age would you tell the women? I ain't asking about you. I'll try to answer it, but you won't let me answer. No, I just need to give me an age. I don't need. I need the background. Give me the age. Between they're they're between ages 21 and 50. What age if you want to get married and have a friend? What age should they start prioritizing? You allow me to answer, Kevin. Yeah, you know, you I might. I'm allow you to give me age. I'm going to be in this conversation. I know a girl that had a baby. Give me an age. Age range. This is why that's why they're not listening to you anymore. This is why this is a woman talking about our running relationship channel. And I asked a simple question. At what age would you tell women to start prioritizing? They don't want to tell you.

Name is Chastity. What do you got for me, Chastity?

Well, I mean, I don't really understand why a lot of cause I'm 27. So it's kind of crazy to me how a lot of women who's like twice my age, they like disagree with with a lot of things that you be that you're saying. A lot of things that you're saying is like true. And I look at my own family, like, oh snap, like the women that he's describing are the women in my family. And a lot of them unfortunately aren't married. Or if they are married, they're in rel they're in marriages that's like not worth it at all. So I look and I'm like, no, that's not what I want. So I'll just wait my chance until the right one comes along, you know?

Let me so one, I would say many of those women, um, they're not arguing with me so much as they're arguing with the choices of the reality of their own life. What I'm saying has not been talked about a lot. And it's like admitting that you blown. Did you those times? I won't say you wasted those years. Admitting you can't get that time back. It's hard. And at 27, you still have more in front of. Yeah, and we you to get it, get it right now. So that I won't have to be 40, 40 plus still trying to figure it out.

Well, my question is, are you, are the women in your family giving you actionable good advice? No, because like I had a situation where I messed it up. I had a good guy. I messed it up. And my family were like, oh, FM, you were young, you do what you want to do, blah, blah, blah. But now, like, I'm not gonna lie, you've been my therapist sometimes. Somebody sent me your like a, um, they sent me your link and they were like, go watch him. Like the things that he's saying is things that you like, you should listen to. So then I started watching you. And now it's like, I watch. I'm addicted to it. I watch you.

The ability to look at a situation and say, you know what, I messed this up. Is a good thing because that means you're taking accountability and ownership. And you can grow that way. Which a lot of people, men are really asking for. A lot of women will not take accountability. A lot of women, what I would say to women like yourself is, forget them. Let them not take accountability, ownership. And that means the kind of women you are, you'll have an overabundance of male attention because men are not the kind of men they want are not going to accept women who don't take accountability. So it may sound good to tell you, forget this, forget that, forget this, and get that. But you're looking at outcomes. Um, stop trying to get them to to change. I mean, there's a lot. Here's another thing. I'll be compassionate with my generation. We were given a lot of bad information. My generation, we were getting a lot of bad information. Um, the internet came along a little too late. But the reality is, in the black community, I think everybody needs therapy. Men and women. But unfortunately, the men can make changes and still go into the second or third part of our life and do something. If you're a woman who's reached a certain age, you can't undo and go back and have kids. And that's that's that has an effect. My only problem is they don't tell you young women the truth.

Yeah, but it's almost like they are. They they want you to almost dooming you to the same things they should be doing something. Exactly. Sometimes I think that they're like slick jealous. Like they don't really want you to. They don't want you to surpass the state that they're at or that they they don't want you to reach where they never reach. Put it like that. Because like, what's your broadcast? I had last night. I watched some of it. There's a woman who came on my show last night. She was about 46 years old. And there was a woman asking me, who are you to be telling these young women all this stuff? A lot of people say, like, when I send your videos to people, like, even when you discuss the weight, I totally agree with you. Like, I mean, come on now. Like, if nobody else tell you the truth, who else is going to be honest and tell you? I hope nothing. People don't know. I don't know why you think that that woman right there. Young women. And I said, all right, if you don't think I was telling me a thing, what do you tell them? You know what she had to tell him? Young women, don't listen to old men. That's all she had to say. She didn't have anything to positive saying. And she watched me sit there and talk to three young women and give her good advice. You know what? She still didn't change her mind. They'd be jealous. They're jealous. That's what they can't go back and redo their whole life. So they they want to knock you and make it make it so that you won't reach your fullest.

Well, you keep on reaching and you learn how to detach from them with love. Watch me with your headphones in. Stop trying to convince them. Go on and live your best life, young daughter. Appreciate it. I love you. All right, that's what I mean right there.