Transcription
So, Steve Rogers has his super soldier serum. Thor is the God of Thunder. Natasha Romanof is an elite trained assassin. Bruce Banner is, well, the Hulk. And Clint Barton has his unmatched skills with a bow. You know all this, so then let me ask you: what's Tony Stark's superpower?
Stating the obvious, the Iron Man suit is insanely kickass. So, on the surface, it could be tempting to say that his superpower resides in the suit; the suit is his superpower. However, Tony Stark himself says this is not the case. If you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it. The suit is just a tool—albeit a pretty kickass tool—but a tool nonetheless.
Now, to be fair, the suit does grant the wearer extraordinary powers, and this is our first clue when it comes to understanding Tony Stark's superpower. When you look at the body of his work, the mind boggles. Stark has created the Iron Man suit in all its varieties, the Spider-Man suit, Mr. Stark, it smells like a new car in here, Vision, Tony, you lost another superbot, and in many ways, the Avengers themselves. Oh, actually, he's the boss; I just pay for everything and design everything and make everyone look cooler. In other words, Tony Stark creates the means by which superheroes can magnify their heroics, and in the case of Vision, he created the hero himself. And how does he do this? By working. That's right, Tony Stark's superpower is his approach to work. And, and, and this is what makes him so accessible. I mean, you have to work; I have to work. And so, if we have to work, why not make it a superpower—a superpower that we can channel?
In this series, we are going to do a deep dive into how Tony Stark approaches work. We're going to learn what makes his work style a superpower. However, to do this, we first need to understand the role that his confidence plays in his particular approach to work. Because here's the thing: Tony Stark's particular brand of confidence—it is the common thread that ties together every aspect of his approach to work. And so, if you and I are going to model our own approach to work after that of Tony Stark, we need to develop a similar sense of confidence. And so, with that, let's take a moment to understand how Tony Stark practices confidence.
Confidence is the belief and conviction in one's abilities, tools, and judgment, coupled with the courage to take action based on these qualities. The courage component of confidence is especially meaningful when it comes to how Tony Stark practices confidence. Confidence is not the absence of self-doubt. In fact, you need self-doubt in order to exercise confidence. As is often said, you cannot be courageous in the absence of fear. Well, in the same way, you cannot exercise confidence in the absence of self-doubt. I'm a pipe and hot mess; it's been going on for a while. I haven't said anything. Threat is imminent. So, as you see, confidence and courage are sort of symbiotic; you need one to have the other, which means you sort of need fear and self-doubt as well.
This is good news for folks like you and me—or me anyway—because I have plenty of self-doubt and plenty of fears, more than perhaps any other. Stark's courage, and by extension his confidence, is rooted in his deep, deep fear of losing Pepper. And I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without—that's you. Fear of losing the team and the world. And I'm the man who killed the Avengers. I saw it; I didn't tell the team. How could I? It's almost all dead. Nick felt it, the whole world too. So yeah, fear and self-doubt are Tony Stark's overriding drivers, but I saw Stark's fear. I knew it would control—control him, make himself distant. And it's his confidence that helps him overcome these. In other words, for Tony Stark, his courage and confidence is a direct response to his fear and sense of self-doubt.
If we want to practice confidence like Tony Stark, we need to learn to channel our fears and doubts into actions that challenge these fears. With his fear of Thanos fueling his courage and confidence, he designed and constructed countless suits; he created Vision, an extension of the Iron Legion; and eventually defeated the Mad Titan. All of this means that you don't necessarily need to feel confident to be confident. Confidence has this annoying ability to sort of slip away from the party when nobody's watching. So, when you need it, it's nowhere to be found. And so, yeah, despite Tony Stark's immense confidence, it abandons him from time to time, just like it abandons us. We can see this when Stark learns that his Iron Man suit is out of commission and he's on his own. Electricity. All right, it's my suit, and then I can't, I'm not going to, I don't want to. Oh God, not again. Away from home, away from his tools, with no suit, no Jarvis—well, his self-confidence evaporates. This may have played into Stephen Strange's decision not to tell Stark that the one moment is coming. Hey, you said 1 out of 14 million we win. Yeah, tell me this is it. If I tell you what happens, it won't happen. All right. So then that begs the question: how do we develop this type of confidence?
Now, now, unfortunately, we can't go back in time and see how Tony Stark developed confidence in the first place, but we can look at how he exhibits confidence today, and by extension, extrapolate the actions that brought about this sense of confidence. So yeah, let's do that.
Take on opportunities to put in the work. No one ever built true confidence in their skills without first putting in the work. With this in mind, you need to seek out—or better still, create—opportunities to develop your skills and competencies. And one of the best ways you can do this is by taking on challenging projects and opportunities, trying things that, well, kind of put you outside of your comfort zone. We see this when Stark sees an opportunity for escape and develops the Mark I in a cave. Now, granted, he pursued this opportunity under duress, but the—the principle is the same. We can also see this when Stark finds himself in possession of the Tesseract and sees an opportunity to create Ultron.
Pursuing opportunities to put in the work does several things to help build our confidence. Of course, the most immediate benefit, and the most obvious one, is it kind of forces us to build up our skill sets. Confidence is correlated with the depth and breadth of our skills; the more we know how to do, the more confident we are in doing it. And furthermore, as an added bonus, the more we learn to do, the more confident we become in our ability to learn additional skills. When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics? Last night. Packet sub's notes, the extraction theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading? All of this in turn can expand our comfort zone, and it's not hard to see that as our comfort zone increases, so does our confidence. For example, at first, Tony Stark was not considered a viable candidate for the Avengers Initiative. Avengers Initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't even qualify. I didn't know that either. Yeah, apparently I'm volatile, self-obsessed, don't play well with others—that I did know. But over time, he not only joined the Avengers but grew into a leadership role with the team. I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart.
Act boldly. Related to pursuing opportunities to put in the work, you want to act boldly. You don't want to be timid about what you do. You don't build confidence by doing what you already know how to do; you build it by reaching outside of your core competencies. And when we do this, we need to act boldly. Confidence is not the catalyst to bold action; it is the result of it. When Tony Stark struggled to create Ultron twice, he was knowingly pushing himself past the bounds of his own expertise. Now, included in acting boldly is following through boldly. We need to finish what we start. There's no better way to sabotage our burgeoning sense of confidence than by quitting a project before we've given it our all. This includes sticking with something when we have in the past failed and what we're doing now has no promise of success. I'm—I'm in a loop; I'm caught in a time loop. This is exactly where it all went wrong. I know, I know what everyone's going to say: don't compare yourself with others.
Tony Stark does not compare himself with others in any domain, whether that be expertise, authority, or influence. He's good just being him. He doesn't need to be the most important person in the room; hell, he doesn't even need to be in the room. Official consulting hours are between 8 and 5 every other Thursday. This isn't a consultation. He knows he's dominant in his own sphere, and so what does he care if he's not invited to play in somebody else's sandbox? Now, there are instances where he is invited to participate with others, and when he does, he's perfectly content to just play his role and allow others to do their thing. Each has a role to play, and each is indispensable in their role. Even in areas where he's like the uber genius, he's self-assured enough to allow the expertise of others to exceed his own. He doesn't need to pretend like he's the smartest man in the room. You want me to help you put Jarvis into this thing? No, of course not. I want to help you put Jarvis in this thing. We're out of my field here, you know. You're better than anyone at bio-organics, and you're just assuming…
Strive for progress, not perfection. Stark doesn't let the idea of perfect get in the way of his progress. Perfect means that something is as good as it can possibly be, and that no matter what happens, that which is perfect can never be made better than it is now. Stark completely rejects this idea. Nothing is ever done; nothing is ever perfect; it can always be tweaked, improved, and made more awesome. Where'd that come from? It's nanotech. You like it? He doesn't even limit himself to fully tested and deployed equipment. Sir, the Mark VII is not ready for deployment. Then skip the spinning rims; we're on the clock. If it's adequately functional, it's good to go. It may not always be pretty, but if he's the last man standing, then, well, it got the job done. Done, rather than perfection. Stark strives toward progress. What is that? Like Mark XV? Uh, yeah, something like that. You know, everybody needs a hobby.
Love and respect yourself. Stark pays himself the dignity and respect that he deserves. Notice I didn't say he necessarily acts with dignity, but he allows himself dignity. Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing. Stark is his own best friend, his greatest supporter, his greatest champion. He has a cheerleader, and his name is Tony Stark. His questionable behavior, his hedonistic lifestyle, doesn't weigh on him with a dark sense of self-loathing. Others may judge him with disdain, but that's their problem, not his. Stark accepts who he is and doesn't let his critics or society's expectations tell him how he should feel about himself. Their acceptance and approval of him doesn't factor into his calculations in the least. One thing I've proven is that you can count on me to pleasure myself. When you have yourself in your corner, who else do you need?
Even when he's struggling with PTSD following the events of New York, he never censures himself, calling himself weak, broken, or unworthy. Even during his lowest moments, he's in his own corner, telling himself that he's worthy of love and acceptance.
Stand up for yourself. Stark doesn't allow others to push him around, regardless of their power, authority, or influence. He stands up for himself and holds true to his convictions. Even when the might of the US government pressures him to give up his suit, he holds his ground with singular flair. States of America? Well, you can forget it. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution, depending on what state you're in. Can't have it. He practices the same conviction when Obadiah pressures him to reverse his decision to discontinue weapons manufacturing. He made his decision and won't allow himself to be bullied into changing his mind. And check it out: Obadiah—well, he's pretty intimidating, and Stark looks small and puny next to him, but he holds true to what he knows is right. He stands up for himself and won't allow himself to be bullied.
Surround yourself with good people. Tony Stark generally works alone. Truth is, few can match his single-minded vision, genius, and work ethic. However, he surrounds himself with good people—people who complement his own traits and vision and work. And that's not all; he surrounds himself with people who accept, love, and support Tony for who he is. I want one. No. And, well, let's face it, that's not always easy. For example, when Stark was struggling with palladium poisoning, Rhodey stood by his friend. Even when he quote-unquote stole the Iron Man suit, he tucked away the arc reactor—the real power behind the suit. There was no way he was going to let Justin Hammer get his hands on that thing. And you know what? Tony actually looks for people to bring into his circle. Sometimes someone impresses Stark so totally that he practically fawns over them. We can see this when Tony meets Bruce Banner for the first time. Finally, someone who speaks English! He loves this guy so much that in no time he's inviting him to New York to work in his labs. You know, you should come by Stark Tower sometime. Top 10 floors, all R&D. You love it; it's Candy Land.
Conquer your fear. You cannot be courageous without fear, and in the case of Tony Stark, his fears are pretty tremendous. But it's in Avengers: Endgame in which we see the perfect intersection of Stark's fear and his indomitable resolve. We can see it in his eyes; he has an idea, and then we see it. Doctor Strange raises a single finger as though saying, This is it; you found the way; now it's time to do what you need to do. As Stark struggles with Thanos, look at his expression; he's terrified, but not because he's afraid to die; he's not new to this. He's terrified that he's going to fail. So when he sees that he hasn't, the fear is gone; he has won.
As I said at the beginning of this video, we can't go back and see how Tony Stark developed his confidence in—in the first place. However, we don't need to; we can see how he has continued to maintain and strengthen this incredible confidence that he has in his abilities and what needs to be done. So now it's your turn—or should I say, now it's our turn. Let's put these principles to work and develop our own confidence, one upon which we can build our own superhero approach to work. All right, hey, thanks a lot for joining today, and until we talk again, have a fantastic day.