Transcription
Flirting is one of those big scary, "How the heck do I do this?" I am no good at this, and I know that it's part of the process, but ah, it can be one of those experiences for you. If you're not good at flirting, that challenge in the dating process can be terrifying.
But here's the good news. Like anything, flirting is a skill. And today I'm gonna share with you a super simple process for how you can flirt that's super effective that you can do. You don't have to have a certain personality type to do this because you know how there's some people who are like, "Well, flirting is easy for them, they're just natural at it, they're just kind of outgoing, gregarious people, they're extroverts, and so flirting is natural." No, even if you're the introvert, this strategy can work for you.
This often comes up in my coaching calls where a woman's like, "Oh, I know I need to flirt, but I don't know how to do it, what can I do?" So today I'm gonna share with you tangible, tactical things, that you can do that are simple to increase the positive interactions you have with guys that you're interested in.
But first, let's unpack why flirting matters, why flirting is important. Number one, flirting is the thing that distinguishes whether or not you're just gonna be friends or romantic partners. A man is looking for that line like, "Hey, is she into me just as a friend or is she open for romance?" It's more important now than ever to give really clear signals, because men today, more than ever, are more standoffish. They don't want to cross a line that might be interpreted inappropriately. Many of them are super respectful and even reserved. If you're getting guys that are coming at you with a bunch of flirtatious energy and real big energy, know this, that's like 5% of the male population are in that bucket. 95% of the guys are scared, are not wanting to flirt without a big green light from you. And that's what flirting does, it gives you a big green light for you to have the interaction you want with your guy.
The second reason that becoming better at flirting matters is it sets you apart from 98% of women. Think about it. The amount of women who are actively flirting with a guy who will actually create an interaction with a guy is like this big. Men do not get hit on. Men do not get approached. It is rare. Most men have to do the approaching, and only 5% of them are really good at it, which means there's a whole lot of non-interaction going. So you have the ability to take the reins of your own love life if you're willing to flirt, and you can skyrocket the number of opportunities that you have.
The third reason that flirting is great is because you can absolutely be proactive and stay in your feminine energy. There's a misconception that if you flirt, if you take action, if you're proactive, that that puts you in the masculine. I'm gonna describe a way to flirt that's easy and simple that anchors you in your feminine energy, if that's the energy that you want to come from.
Another benefit is it wears down your social anxiety, and takes the pressure off of the one interaction you have where the guy approaches you because you're taking so much action, and you're flirting, and you're putting possibilities out there. Any one interaction, if it doesn't go well, the guy doesn't respond, or he says "no, thank you," or he might have a girlfriend, or whatever the case may be, that becomes a very, very small rejection. That becomes a very small story in your love life because you've got so many stories going on. You've got so many interactions going on. The more action you take, the more wins you create.
And last, and this is more of an energetic benefit, is that when you're a giver, you evoke the law of receiving. That when you actually blast through that fear of social anxiety and say, "Oh, I don't want to speak to this guy, or I don't want to interact with this guy, 'cause what if he doesn't like me? What if I look dumb? What if I look silly?" Which is super human. We all have those feelings. But when you actually push through that, and you deposit love, attention, a compliment, something into this person's life, you give to them, you evoke the law of receiving, you're planting seeds of love, and then that love comes back to you. It might not come back to you in the field which you sowed it, but it will come back to you and it comes back to you multiplied. And so as you do this, you're actually stimulating the energetic field of your own love life.
So let's dive in. I'm gonna give you three simple, tangible things that you can do to flirt with guys that feels natural, that feels easy, and that you can absolutely do.
The first one is give him a compliment. That's it. Simple, give him a compliment. Flirting is a big green light. Flirting is, "Hey, I find you attractive." That's what flirting is. Flirting is letting the person know, "I'm open to a conversation progressing here if you're open to it as well." I grew up with this weird mentality that I couldn't let a girl know that I was attracted to her, because then she was gonna have some sort of power over me that I could never get back. And that if she rejected me, it left me feeling less than. It was this weird mental construct. Instead of being free-flowing with my attraction, instead of being free-flowing with my interest and I could show interest, it doesn't have to be that I'm gonna marry this person. Doesn't have to be that I even want a commitment with them. But showing interest is, "I want a conversation with you to see if there's real attraction here." That's all it is.
So here's some easy compliments that you can give a guy: compliment what he's wearing. Say, "Oh my gosh, those are a really good looking shoes, nice choice." Or, "Wow, that jacket looks really good on you." Or compliment his smile. Say, "You know what? I just have to say you have a really attractive smile." He's gonna love hearing that. If he's wearing an outfit that really doesn't deserve to be complimented, or if you can't think of anything else, you can literally say this. You can say, "Hey, you know what? I just had to share with you. You've got really great energy. Has anyone told you that today?" Easy compliment. And what's great is you've now done something that 98% of women don't do, which is break the ice. That's the hardest thing for guys. That's the biggest fear for guys, is "What if she doesn't want to talk to me and I'm gonna look stupid, and I'm gonna have to kind of turn around, and do the walk of shame?" Well, you've just taken that objection right away so he can pick up that conversation and progress it. So the first tip is simple. Just give him a compliment.
The second strategy also super simple, super easy to use, and it's ask for his advice on something. Let's say that you guys are at a restaurant, and you're gonna order and you say, "Hey, you know what, I'm looking to try something new here. You look like you've got good taste. What are you gonna order?" Or you can ask him his advice about a current event and you can say, "Hey, you know, this news story is all over my feed right now. What's your take on this?" And just ask for his advice. That gets the conversation going. Again, your job is simply to break the ice. That's it. And the conversation can progress from there.
And then this third step is super awesome, because it's easy and it makes you normal. It doesn't make you weird, it doesn't make you psycho. And this is the number one way to meet somebody. Researched, hands down, like this leader of all the things, "How do people want to be approached?" "What's like the opening line that people love?" This was head and shoulders above everything else, and it was, "Hi, my name is," and you share your name, and you ask them their name. (laughs) That's it. Why is that such a winning opening line? Because it's normal, and it's what human beings do, and it's how we want to be approached. So you could say, "Oh my gosh, that's a really great jacket, that looks really good on you. Hi, my name is, what's your name?" And you should meet him. And you go from there. Or you can say, "Wow, I really like those shoes. You have great taste. Hi, my name is Matt, what's your name?" You introduce yourself and you go from there. That segue grounds the interaction, tells him who you are, you get to know who he is, and then you can have that conversation, and it normalizes everything.
And so those are three simple, easy things that you can do to strike up more interactions with men. You want to call in great love, dial up the number of interactions, run towards what makes you afraid, lean into what's uncomfortable, because I guarantee you, as you do, and you expand your comfort zone, everything that you want is on the other side of that comfort zone. Your man is just one scary interaction away and now you've got three amazing tools to make it even easier.
My question for you is, what are the ways you like to flirt with men that are easy, that you think anyone could use? Go ahead and post those in the comment section below. We're gonna get a great set of ways to flirt in this comment section. I appreciate you. Here's to you manifesting an amazing love life for yourself. Thanks for watching, I'll see you soon. (upbeat music)