Transcription
Most people spend their 20s trying to figure out life, but they end up wasting so much time focusing on the wrong things. What if instead you could get years ahead, but without burning out and without comparing yourself to everyone else? I've personally made a lot of mistakes in my 20s, but I also really learned what moves the needle and what really makes the difference. So, this video isn't about hacks or routines that you're going to forget about in a week. It's about building the kind of foundation that makes your future self thank you. So, let's talk about the five things that will set you apart and help you build a life that's not only successful, but also fulfilling a life that just feels right.
Number one, define your direction, not just your goals. Part one of this is to live in accordance with your core values. This is the best way to figure out what is the most important to you and for your future so that you then know exactly where you want to pour your energy into and that is never going to be a waste of your time. And it's also never going to be confusing. So this, in my opinion, is like the number one thing that everyone should do. It's not only going to make you more productive, but it's also going to help you to chase those goals and to work toward the things that you actually want to be doing that are actually deeply meaningful and fulfilling to you. And it always feels good to really really know yourself and know exactly what you want. And this will in a very simple way help you do that. Especially if you're currently in that part of your 20s where you're just like confused about everything. You're confused about who you are, what you want. Should I move here? Should I do that? Should I go to school? Should I like it can be really, really confusing. I feel like that's a very relatable thing that a lot of us go through in our 20s. And I feel like I would have avoided wasting so much of my time if I just did this simple thing.
So, how can you figure out your core values? I actually made a whole video about this. So, if you want to dive deeper into it, I'll link it down below. But here's a bit more of a simplified way to do it. Okay? So, you're going to take your time and answer these three questions. The first one is when were you the absolute happiest and why? And really focus on what was going on around you, what were you doing, what were like the contributing factors to your happiness. Like you want to get as detailed as possible. This is basically an audit of your life. The second one is when were you the most proud of yourself and why? And then the third and final one is when did you experience the most fulfillment and meaning and again why? Then you're going to look at all those answers. You're going to dissect them and find the common threads. An example here is let's say a lot of your answers were like I graduated the top of my class. I got an A on this project. I fulfilled this goal. I got into this school. Then maybe one of your core values is achievement. Or some other examples of core values could be creativity, freedom, independence. I value quality time with my partner, or I value being useful to other people. There are so many. And this really is personal, so you need to really look into it. No one else can do this for you. But once you figure it out, it is so so so worth it. So again, I'll link that video down below if you want to dive deeper and really like understand this fully. But deeply knowing your values and your direction. And then having like a set action plan, which we're going to get to in a second, gives you so much focus so that more of your energy can pour towards the things that you actually find meaningful and fulfilling that are actually important to you. That way, when you actually fulfill them, it's going to feel amazing. It's going to make an actual difference in your life. And because of this, you also avoid the comparison trap because you're so fulfilled. You're so focused on what you're doing that what everyone else is doing is irrelevant because you know that you're living a life that's basically tailored to you. Also, this makes decision making so much easier and more simple. And another nugget here is that every decision you will ever make comes with pros and cons. and the decisions and the things that are really for you is when those cons are kind of like almost irrelevant. Like you're aware of them, but it's like I can handle that. No problem because this is so important to me. Highly, highly, highly recommend. Life-changing, I promise.
Once you have those core values figured out and you know exactly what you want and what you want to focus on, we can then create an action plan, which is your goals. And I have a very very clear system for the way I like to set my goals. And I pretty much cross off almost every single one of my goals at the end of the year. So I feel like this is like a bulletproof system. So number one, I use a 3x3 system. So I set three categories of my life. Usually it's lifestyle, career, and finance just because those are like important to me. And then I set up to three goals for each category. And then I look at each individual goal and I make sure that it's a smart goal. So that means that it's specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. And that I have that strong emotional tie to every single goal. That's basically the why. That way, I just make sure that my goals are not just like a random list that I thought of and it's not going to matter to me in like 3 weeks. You need to feel like the goal that you're working towards is very, very important and meaningful to you. Otherwise, it's going to be so much easier to give up because you don't care about it. So this whole system just makes sure that I'm very clear, very focused, I know what I'm doing. And then very importantly, I use a planner where I can do all of this and I can then break down each individual goal into small action steps. And then I can tie those action steps into my daily, weekly planner so that I never forget about those goals. They're tied into my daily, weekly, monthly life. And I can also track them. So I do all of this in the life design planner. I'm going to link it down below. I'll also link below a video where I go over exactly how I use this planner if you want to see it in action. But it's a notion. It's like the best planner I've ever used. So now we're focused. You know exactly what is important to you, what you want to work on, and you've got clear goals and basically an action step plan to make sure that you complete those goals.
The second thing that really really affects the quality of your 20s, but also the rest of your life is to treat money like a long-term relationship. So, we want to throw away the like yolo mentality when it comes to money that a lot of us in our 20s have and become financially literate so we can set ourselves up for success. This is truly life-changing. This is one of the things that I did in my like early mid20s that I feel like changed my life so much and the trajectory of my life. Like this really really really gets the ball rolling and it's going to make your life so much easier down the line. Not to mention it really helped with my confidence for some reason. Just felt good to like figure something out that felt like so complicated and like not for me cuz I used to not understand anything about finances. So, it just felt really, really good to just learn the basics and just start. And then once you get into it, it's honestly kind of fun. Maybe this is like the type A in me talking, but I love it.
So, first of all, you're going to do a financial audit, which means you're going to figure out where your money is going currently. So, you're going to look at the past three months, look at the different categories in your life, and how much you roughly spend in those categories every single month. Then, you're going to set a budget for yourself. This is basically a plan for where your hard-earned money is going. So, you're going to limit yourself in some categories. You're going to figure out how to spend a little bit less so you can save more. I use the Coplanty budget, which is my favorite budget I've ever used. So, highly recommend that. I'll link it down below. If you have debt, you're going to create a plan to start seriously paying off your debt. So, you're going to make room in your budget to put as much money towards that as possible. You can set up an emergency fund, which is basically money set aside for emergencies only. and you can put it in a high yield savings account so that it compounds over time and then you can also learn the basics of investing. I personally think index funds are like the easiest for beginners. That is just a very quick brief overview. I have a whole video that's perfect if you're a beginner because it takes you through every single step in a very clear easy to understand way. I wanted to make it so that I could give this video to my younger self that didn't understand anything and found this topic so intimidating. Like I used to kind of feel stupid when people would like talk about investing and I was like I literally I this is like another world to me. I have no idea what you're telling me. So I'll link that down below. Um, it's very very simple. You're going to understand it. I promise you. Another thing that I forgot to mention, start watching like financial videos on YouTube, like monthly budgets, my paycheck routine, what I'm no longer buying to save money, things like that are so motivating and keep you inspired and keep this topic of money and personal finance really like exciting and fun and like a girly thing to do. So, highly recommend that. There's a few videos like that on my channel already. I'll link the playlist down below if you want to dive deeper and just have something to binge and get really into it.
Next up, build routines that protect your peace. These routines should be like the pillars of stability in your life, which I feel like a lot of us lack in our 20s. Like it can just feel like a weird all over the place time. So having something that like grounds you and makes you feel more stable is so important. At least that's how it felt to me. Like I used to feel like I was just a mess and like creating basic routines and some organization changed my life in so many ways. So having specific routines is so important because they create structure, they reduce stress and they basically help your brain conserve energy by turning repeated action into habits. That all basically helps you to stay focused, productive and balanced. So think of the things you do every single day like the way you spend your morning, the way you spend your evening. Let's say you go for a daily walk or you make and eat lunch every single day at a similar time. Like that is all repeated action in your day. That could with like very tiny simple tweaks be turned into very stable pillars of routines that are very intentional. I talked about this in a video that's actually coming up soon. I think it's next week or the week after. Um, and it's basically how to avoid the trap of being addicted to social media, which I feel like a lot of us are, especially our generation, is we're a bit out of control. And one of the tips that I mentioned is to use these pillars, these routines that you do every single day anyway, like the way you spend your mornings, your evenings, your lunch, etc., and spend them intentionally off your phone and off social media. Just that simple tweak is going to make you feel so much more relaxed, so much more focused. Obviously, there's so many benefits for your nervous system as well. And because you do those things every day, it is obviously going to significantly influence the way you spend your days and the way you feel about your days, your weeks, your months. So, think of these routines as pillars of stability and make sure that you create them intentionally. So if you're missing something in your life like peace, relaxation, make sure that those routines reflect that.
Number four, master the two traits that no one can fake. The first one is resilience, which is basically your ability to get back up again after facing some sort of adversity. I have a whole video that dives into this topic that can really transform your resilience. So I'm going to link that down below. about very quickly. The few things that really really helped me is when something happens like something goes wrong, you make a mistake, something bad happens, whatever adversity you're facing. Obviously, you need time to lick your wounds and feel a little bad for yourself. Get those emotions out. Like that is a necessary process. At least that's what I think. And then the thing that's really going to transform you into a resilient person is to reflect on whatever happened in detail. like create an audit basically of what happened, what went wrong and then very importantly what you learned from it and like how will your life be better now that you learned this lesson. You know that at least it wasn't all done in vain because it helped you to be smarter in some way. It helped you to grow in whatever category, have more understanding, have more empathy, know yourself better. like find whatever little twinkle of newfound knowledge of reasons for why this wasn't just suffering you know like finding meaning and suffering is helpful like okay I suffered that sucks for me but like what did I get from it otherwise you are going to feel bad for yourself all the time and have that victim mentality which really I get that it sometimes makes you feel better because It kind of lets you put your hands in the air and be like whatever, you know, but that is not you living from a very empowered place. It doesn't actually feel good because you want to feel like you have at least some sort of agency over your life and can make better decisions moving forward or, you know, alter your life whenever you need to to create a life that you actually want that you love waking up to. And if you have that victim mentality, that's going to be really, really difficult. And I don't mean this in any kind of disrespectful way. I talked about this in a video. If I remember which one, I'll link it down below. But I used to have a victim mentality from years of therapy where it was all about my feelings, my perspective. No one else is ever at fault. It's just me me. It was bad. Okay. And I had to snap myself out of it and learn resilience. So to recap, whenever something goes wrong, you focus on what did you get from it? What did you learn from it? Even in the most terrible things that have ever happened to me, there are some little twinkles of something that I got from it. Okay? And then create the mindset of overcoming adversity makes me better in whatever way again makes me smarter, more empathetic, yada yada.
And the second trait or quality that you need to hone is discipline, which is your ability to keep going even when it's hard. And again, I have a whole video about this topic. I actually think this is one of the best videos on my channel. So, if this is something you consistently struggle with, like you start something and you never follow through, you just give up, I used to be there, okay? Like, I feel like all of the best videos on my channel are all from something that I used to really struggle with and then figured out how to fix and then made a video about it. So, I'll link it down below. But again, very quickly to give you something in this video, something you need to understand is that discipline is such a huge component of confidence. It's basically self-trust. It's like what I set out to do, what I say that I will do, the intentions and the goals I set for myself, I actually make it happen. I can trust myself that my words actually hold weight. I will not give up on myself. That is like such an important component in every single relationship. So, it's important for your relationship with yourself as well. Like this gives you so much like inner power and focus and again confidence. Like it really is such an important skill that I feel like everyone should learn, especially like so early on if I learned this like when I was 20. God knows where I would be. But again, watch the video. I feel like I'm much more eloquent in that video and I share a lot more like actionable little mindset shifts and solutions.
And last but not least, never chase success without connection. This is obvious to a lot of us, but I feel like a lot of people who watch these specific types of videos are very ambitious and it's just I feel like a necessary reminder for all of us. I know we hear this so much, but success without anyone there feels so empty. We're social creatures. We need connection. We need community. Whether it's through your family, your friends, your partner, your animals, the random people in your life like your mailman, the lady at the grocery store that you see every time. Like those can all be nuggets of connection in your life that are going to make your life so much more meaningful, enjoyable, fun, playful. It really is crucial for us, our well-being, and our happiness. I feel like I've promoted so many videos in this video, but I have one that I feel like would be helpful here. If you feel like you're a little bit like awkward, you need some help conversing with people or like making friends. I have a video called How to Talk to Anyone. I'll link it down below. Um, I am debating making a video about how to make friends in your adult life. So, let me know if you want to see that. I've had to do that because I used to live abroad where I didn't really know anyone. So, I feel like I've got some knowledge in this department.
I feel like for me it is so helpful to like imagine myself on my deathbed. And this sounds so dramatic and morbid, but I feel like death is such an amazing motivator. It really puts things into perspective and it's a lot easier for you to see what's really important to you because a lot of the time we can chase success and goals that when we then achieve them, it's like nah, moving on. Like it's not, you know, it's not really fulfilling and meaningful. And obviously with the values that we talked about previously that can like help you so much but death great motivator and so if you imagine yourself on your deathbed if you're good at visualizing imagine yourself having all the success all the goals have been accomplished you have all the material things you wanted all the finances but no one is there in my mind that is like depression central like a life of regret not happy with it and then if I imagine myself. Maybe I haven't achieved all the things that I have in this other example, but I have my family there, my friends, my partner, a community. Like, that would make me feel like I had a life that was worth living. And obviously, we're all different. I'm not going to tell anyone what should be important to you, but connection and meaningful relationships are never a waste of time. Ever. Ever. And it's so important that while you're being ambitious and working towards these goals and whatever you want for your life, don't forget to bring your people with you.
Alrighty, guys. That is it for this video. I feel like I have so much more to say, but I think this is long enough. So, if you guys want a part two, I can do that. But I'd love to hear from you. What is that one thing that you feel like has made your 20s like so much better? Um, that has been that like life-changing thing for you? or if you're currently like at the beginning of your 20s and you're like, "Girl, I'm confused. I don't know what's going on." Let us know. Like, maybe we can help you. There's a few of us here who are probably a little older. Maybe we can help. You know, if you guys did like this video, I'd love for you to stick around and subscribe. And don't forget to check out my Instagram if you want to see more of my personal life and some other content. Thank you guys so so much for watching, and I'm going to see you really, really soon.