Transcription
And today I want to talk about why I never pursued a career, and I think I'm happier for it. Um, and I'm, you know, 50 is very close. So I thought this would be helpful, especially for younger folks, um, who feel lost and confused. Um, I think one of the most toxic things of American society is that we always talk about following your passion, chasing your passion, whatever. There is no, I'm not going to criticize people who have careers that they absolutely love, because there are many people out there who do love their work, despite, um, the many of us who aren't in love with, uh, with what we do. Um, you know, if you are a yoga instructor and you get to travel the world and teach all over the place, sounds like a pretty neat job. Um, you know, maybe you're a children's book illustrator and you absolutely love, um, your work and you wouldn't trade it for anything. Or maybe you're a professional rock climber and you get to see and climb some of the most, uh, majestic and breathtaking, uh, mountains across the world. Or maybe you're an investigative journalist. And I think the key to knowing for sure whether you love your work is whether you would wake up and want to do it regardless of whether you got paid or not.
And so for all of you, uh, including me, who never knew exactly what they wanted to do, they had some interest but, um, not necessarily a passion, so to speak, and, uh, didn't know what to do with themselves and then just chose a random path, this, or you're a younger person looking as to what to do next, this is for you. So I'm going to start by just telling a story of me in college. Um, senior year, I was very much, how do I say, I felt very much behind my classmates and, um, and it was March, and I did not, um, know what I was doing next, and graduation was on the horizon. It was in May, and, um, I didn't have a job. I didn't even have a clue as to where to start. And then one of the administrators, um, of my high school knew some people and was well-connected and, um, suggested that I interview for a position at a marketing firm, and they knew the owner CEO of the company. Um, actually, he might have just been the CEO, I don't know if he was the owner, but, um, anyway, so I interviewed and I got the job. And when I got the offer, well, I should start by saying I had anxiety, a bit of anxiety, um, at the idea of interviewing, and I had anxiety before the interview, and I thought I was just nervous. Um, but when the job offer came, I went into a full panic attack. I actually started hyperventilating, and my whole body tensed up, and I really, you know, I was struggling to breathe. And, um, and I couldn't. And, and of course, that, that anxiety attack passed, but I still had serious anxiety about it. And, um, I just, I couldn't do it. My whole body was telling me, don't do it, don't do it. And I have to say, I'm not, I was never passionate about selling. You know, I, and marketing is selling in some sense. You are pitching your company, your company's product or service, to the public or to other businesses. And it's just, I don't know, I've never been a seller. I don't, if I ever recommend something to someone, it's because, um, I have experience with something and I had a great experience with that product or service, and therefore I would feel comfortable recommending it. But I would never just sell something to sell something, just to collect a paycheck. And I think that's what it was. But, um, I had a certain amount of time to accept the offer, and I declined. And they were shocked, first of all, because I came by recommendation of a very close friend of the CEO's. And, um, and then that administrator of my high school, who recommended me, um, really kind of got quite mad at me, and understandably so, because this person used, you know, you know, they used their position and their connections to assist me, and I turned it down. And so that was just a disappointment for both of them. Um, but, you know, looking on many decades on, it was not a disappointment for me. And ultimately, I should have just listened to the signs that my body was giving me, um, at the thought of even just having the interview. And just finished it, that, like, not even accepted an interview, or even said yes to the idea of it, that would have been the responsible, um, solution. But I didn't. I wasn't, I was a lost, confused college student, and there was a lot of pressure to just feel like I was doing something. And, uh, that's a shitty feeling if anyone knows it. Um, and you feel like you're being left behind, so to speak, because everyone's going off and launching these, these careers of theirs in big major cities. And so of course, when someone tells me, why don't you interview? I know the CEO of this big marketing firm in a major US city, then part of your brain is telling you to do it, even though instinctively you know it's not correct for you. Um, so I declined.
And and ever since then, I will say that I, I don't have a career because I, I personally was not in tune with myself and, um, and what I wanted to do when I grew up, so to speak. Uh, I think I'm slowly figuring that out. But, you know, so I'm saying this with 50 on the horizon because, um, I've led a very interesting life. Um, it's not successful by the standard, um, model of which most people in this country judge success. Um, you know, I don't have a massive bank account. Um, I'm not broke, but I don't have a massive bank account. I don't have my 401k. I don't have a mortgage on a house. Um, I never bought a house. Um, I don't have a, you know, like I just, I don't have the conventional, um, success model. I don't have a career, right? Um, so I guess my point is, is that after college, I just kind of wandered. And I think we are so hard on ourselves that we don't tend to let ourselves wander, when wandering can sometimes be the best thing for us because it helps us discover who we are, um, in different contexts and just not just context, but also geography. Um, I did kind of bounce around quite a bit. I, you know, I lived abroad for a long time, um, in many countries and, and worked as well, legally. Um, but I developed many different skills, um, none of which point to a certain career, but certainly have transferred and into, uh, valuable skills for other industries and other types of work. So I think that's really interesting. I, or I should say, it's great because I pursued a life that is interesting, um, and kind of followed my nose, followed my curiosity, instead of trying to build a career. Again, you know, there are trade-offs with everything. I'm not saying that this is the answer for everyone. Um, and, and I believe anyone can do this at any age. You can change. Um, you just have to look at what you're saying yes to. And by saying yes to those things, what are you saying no to? Um, for example, I knew that if I bought a house or a condo or something, that I would be chained to a mortgage, and therefore that mortgage would chain me to a job, and if I, you know, and a job that pays me enough to cover maintenance, mortgage, insurance, property taxes, and I didn't want those golden handcuffs. Um, I wanted a bit more freedom to change and to grow and to move as I saw fit. And, you know, there are some people who do really well with a structured conventional life. And, you know, more to power to them, no criticism. But I knew that that wasn't for me. And I think that's the most important thing is finding out what's not right for us, because usually it's easier to figure out what's not right for us than it is to find out what is right for us. And eventually, we find our way and move in the direction that is best for us. You know, finding our true north, so to speak. Um, so again, I may not be, um, I may not fit the mold for conventional success, but I have to say, I'm, I, aside from working on my health, uh, through juice fasting at the moment, um, which is going really well, but I'll do a separate video on that, um, you know, I'm quite content. I'm quite happy. Um, my needs are simple. I really find great enjoyment being outdoors and being active. Um, you know, I love living in the mountains. It's, uh, it's fantastic. And, um, you know, except the extra long winter, yikes. Um, but yeah, I think it's really important that we stop pressuring ourselves into fitting into the societal mode, mold, especially in the US. And I know this is, this is, um, also very strong in Asia, you know, fitting the societal mold and just, you know, um, ignoring parts of us that are actually essential to our happiness. So, you know, if you are, if you don't, if you're willing to risk, um, being judged by other people, whether they're close to you or not, um, and just following your interests and doing what's right for you, and that brings you peace of mind, um, then this is, this is the sort of path for you. I have to say that I don't have the stresses that my, you know, my former classmates have. Um, I don't, you know, I don't have any of that. Of course, I also don't, you know, have certain things that they have as well. So there again, everything's a tradeoff. Um, but I don't have the financial pressures they have. Um, and I don't have to stay in a job or just jump from one corporate firm to another. Um, I just, I don't have to. If I, if I want to leave a job, I can leave it, and I don't have to worry about how am I going to make next month's mortgage, or how am I going to pay for, you know, this $700 car payment or whatever it is, because apparently the average car payment in America is somewhere upwards of like $600 or $700 right now. And that's insane. I mean, you know, each to each your own, but that, I would never do that. Um, and another thing I'd like to mention is that if you don't follow a career, sure, you may not make as much money. And I, and by career, I mean like a corporate career, or, you know, uh, you own your own business not because you love it, but it's a business that you'd be good at, so you do it. Um, and that is that. I don't go home and think about work. I do not stress about it. I think I can count on my hand how many days I've stressed about work in the last five years, um, on one hand, and it doesn't even fill one hand. Um, so there's something, there's something in that. You know, and of course, you have to simplify your needs. You have to simplify your bills. And people always say, they can't do something. Oh, you can do that, but I can't. It's like, no, you're choosing not to. Um, instead of thinking why you can't do something, it's important to think about why, how, and why you can do something, and what the benefits might be, and then compare and contrast, instead of writing off ideas before you've even explored them. That's what keeps people in a cycle of anxiety, stress, and misery. Um, so anyway, I, I, I know that the way I live is not for everyone. Um, and I'm not judging anyone on their choices. I'm just offering this information in case it's valuable to, to, to you or to anyone else who may see this video. And, um, I just wish you the best. I hope everyone has a great day. If you feel like sharing your experiences about work and life and stress, or your own life path, um, feel free to share it in the comments section below. I'm always interested in hearing other people's stories and experiences. Um, this is how we all grow and expand our lives and, you know, and start to understand each other instead of just hate each other. Uh, so anyway, have a great rest of your day, and I look forward to seeing you in the next.