Transcription
In this episode of the Living God's Light podcast. Suddenly, my stomach opened up and all of the infection just poured out, and I could feel the fever leave my body. It was like it started at my head and just left. All the sickness I felt was gone. I didn't feel sick at all. I didn't feel like I was unhealthy whatsoever. And I said to my family, "I don't need to go to the hospital. Let's call the doctor and tell him I'm okay."
And I took off the hat and his coat, and there's this child staring back at me that I'd seen in the hospital. I knew that this was the child in the flesh. It was just incredible.
"I am. I am. I am. I am. I am living God's life."
After I was released from the hospital, I was told, you know, once you get healthy again, we'll do the final surgeries. And they did. They went in. I was released in, um, February, went back in March. Then in August of that year, they were able to reattach everything inside. I was going to have the final surgery, which was a scar revision surgery where they go in and take the scar that went from my rib cage down my pubic bone and move it down like a C-section scar. And when I had that surgery, I had many complications, and I started to go critical again. My mom had, um, ward bishop come and give me a blessing that I would be okay. And as he gave me that blessing, I could feel my body start to leave again. My soul was leaving my body. It was lifting about five feet off the bed. And suddenly, the entire room was just filled with this love. And I could feel, I could feel all of that love that I felt on the other side that was back. And I thought, "Okay, I finally am able to leave. I don't have to go back to my body." And I was pretty healthy at this point. But again, anytime I was able to have the gift of leaving, I would have done it. And so I thought, "Okay, I've lived a good life. I'm, I'm good to go." And as soon as I thought that, I was told by the guide, "You're not going to go. This is the last time you leave your body." And as he did say that, um, I started lowering back into my body. I was only out for a few minutes, but I could feel the peace in the room and the love still. I sat there for a minute basking in that love. And then my family said, "We need to get you to the hospital."
They were willing to do surgery. They were going to go in and remove the leaders of infection that were in my body. And I went into the bathroom to get ready, grab me my supplies, and suddenly my stomach opened up and all of the infection just poured out. And I could feel the fever leave my body. It was like it started at my head and just left. And this heavy, high fever was just gone. All the sickness I felt was gone. I didn't feel sick at all. I didn't feel like there I was unhealthy whatsoever. And I said to my family, "I don't need to go to the hospital. Let's call the doctor and tell him I'm okay." And so we called down and called the doctor, and I said, "Let's wait off a little bit. The fever's gone. Um, I just took my temperature and I'm fine." And he said, "You know, if you feel like you need to come in, call immediately, and we'll get you in for surgery. We're ready to go." And I never did. That was the last surgery I had. And from that point on, I healed at a profoundly fast rate. And I've never had any of those problems again. I, I do get bowel obstructions from time to time, and they're horrifically painful, but that's really the only effect, that's the worst effect. Um, but I'm able to live a very good life. My body is strong. I was able to relearn to walk. Um, all my hair that fell out grew back in, and I've had a beautiful life. Um, it's not been free of trials. In fact, I feel like I've had more trials than most people. But the knowledge that I gained from the other side has been able to help me in this life. And that guide behind my right shoulder has never left. He's always been there. And there have been multiple times that he'll tell me things or he'll just whisper. It's like a whispering, and it's helped me in my life tremendously.
Those two children that were at the foot of the bed after my last surgery. Um, I was sitting on the couch one day watching TV, just kind of zoning in and out. And I heard the voice say, "Your body will never handle a pregnancy. If you want to become a mother, you're going to need to adopt." When I heard that, I knew it was true. Um, I just had too much scar tissue, and I'd been, I had too many problems, and having a healthy pregnancy was not high on the list of things that I ever thought would happen. So, at that point, I wanted to adopt from Guatemala, and I was too young. You had to be 25. And so, I kind of started looking into different adoption routes, and I knew we weren't going to be doing foster care or anything soon, but I knew that foster care was going to be the route that we did. And so I started going to classes with my husband, and I thought that foster care was more of just you take care of these children until they can return home. I didn't really realize that adoption was part of that. And so over the course of 5 years, we fostered 25 children. And the next call we got, my phone rang, and it was the, um, the placement coordinator, and she said, "We have two children that we're going to go to committee for that you're going to be, your name is going to be placed in committee." Um, basically, committee is they decide which home best fits the needs of this child. She said, "We have a six-week-old baby girl and a 22-month-old baby boy." And immediately, I heard that voice of my guide say, "It is the boy. Um, the little girl is going to go be with her family. She has a sister." And so I thought, "Okay, I'm going to let this play out how it needs to play out." And so I told the placement coordinator, "Put our name in for both of them, and we'll see what happens." And so I got a call a couple days later that we had been chosen for the little boy. And I just, I thought, "Okay, he's coming here for a reason." Um, and I've had experiences like this since my NDE where I knew through this voice, my guide, things were going to happen. And it's always been spot on. And it's only for me. It doesn't, you know, tell me world events or anything. He'll just say, "You're going to meet this person here," or, you know, "You need to be careful on this day and not, you know, step in the street," or whatever. Like, there's always a reason for these, um, whisperings that I hear. And so I knew that this little boy was coming. Um, the day that I went to pick him up, it was this huge, huge storm, and he was bundled in this coat. He was at a shelter that we have here called the Christmas Box House. And I, great place. Um, I went and picked him up, and I had this two-week-old baby in his car seat. And I get him home after the drive home. He had on a felt blue and white fleece hat. And I took off the hat and his coat, and there was this child staring back at me that I'd seen in the hospital. And I thought, "Oh my gosh, I would know this child anywhere. He had the most gorgeous blonde long curls, these beautiful hazel eyes, and he was this tiny, tiny little thing. I mean, he was only like 19 pounds. He was just so little. But I knew that this was the child in the hospital." And seeing this child in the flesh was just incredible. And so I called my parents and said, "You have to come see this little boy that we have." And they always came whenever I got a new foster child. They, they loved snuggling with the babies and holding them, and they were pretty involved. And so over the course of the next 18 months, I worked closely with his mom, um, for reunification, not ever knowing if he was going to stay with us or if he was going to go back. And so in my mind, I, I had to be ready either way, um, if he went back to his mom or if he stayed with us. It was almost like I saw these two paths, and I didn't want to jinx either one because I didn't want to be responsible for the pain that she would feel if he went, if he stayed with me. And I knew that I would be very sad if he went home as well because he was a part of our life. And so I worked pretty closely with his mom, um, to get to know her so that I would feel better if he went back home. And ultimately, 18 months after we started fostering him, we did adopt him. And it was, it was kind of a heartbreaking situation for me because I was very grateful that this little boy was going to be my son, but I had such intense grief for his mom. It was devastating for her to lose her child. And the way foster care worked at that time was you adopt the child and you cut off all contact, and you raise that child as your own, and you don't talk about their background. It didn't exist, really. And I was not okay with that. He had a background. He had a family that loved him. And I needed to know that she was okay because I did love her. And I wanted my son's mom to know that he was safe. And so we, we did do an open adoption. And I am so grateful for that. Um, she was able to be in his life, and she's, she's amazing. She's a wonderful mom now. She's got a few kids that she's raising, and I am so proud of her. She's, she's just, she's family, and my son's an adult now, and I'm just very, very grateful that she was able to be in our lives. I can't imagine her worrying her entire life, not knowing if he was okay, and I would worry about her. So that was something I just, I couldn't back down on it, and it worked well for our family. I know some situations it doesn't, but for us, it did. Um, and so after we adopted him, I thought, "I wonder if that little girl is going to come." We had a couple of failed adoptions, including a little girl that went back to a situation that was horrific. She should have never, ever gone back. And she did. And I kept thinking, "Okay, where's this baby that was in the hospital?" And so one day I was driving in the car, and I said to my guide, "I know this child's out there. Where is she?" And I felt this very strong peace and the knowledge that she would come when the time was right, and I didn't need to worry. And so I quit worrying after that. And then one day I woke up, and I felt this energy around me that was just so strong. And I knew that I would meet her that day. And as I moved throughout the day, it's like I was preparing to meet my child again after a long time away from her. And that afternoon, the phone rang, and it was this coordinator, and she said, um, "We have a child that, um, is a legal risk placement that you were chosen by committee to foster, and it's legal risk if she doesn't go home then, and no family's available, then you can adopt her." And I, I just knew this was that child. And so I immediately started, you know, getting everything ready. And my husband was at work, and so I called my mom and said, "Can you watch my son?" And I just wanted to get there as fast as possible to meet her. And so I drove to the foster parents' house, and she was 11 weeks old. And oh my goodness, she was kind of a sickly baby. She had like patches of orange hair and these gray eyes that looked like they were spinning. Like they were just not, she was not well. She had an allergic reaction to all her formula, and so she wasn't gaining weight, and her coral eyes just kind of bugged out of her head. And I thought, "This poor kid, she does not look well." So, I took her home, and I thought, "I've got to get her healthy." And so we were finally able to find out that she had a lot of allergies and get on the right formula. And by the time she was 7 months old, she'd finally quit throwing up all day, every day, and was starting to get healthier. And her hair had gone from like this orange peach fuzz to blonde. And then about age 5 months, her gray eyes turned hazel green. And one day, you know, her hair, it had grown by that point, and she was playing, and I looked down at her, and I thought, "This is that child that was in the hospital." I just knew. It's like the memory was so strong that it was her. And I thought, "How amazing is this that of these two children that I was able to feel their souls before they were born and meet them before this life, that they found me?" And her situation with the adoption was a little bit different. Her parents asked that we could adopt her. And so we sat down together, and we, um, chose an open adoption plan together. And I am so grateful for her parents. I just loved them beyond belief. Um, her, her dad passed away a couple years ago. And getting that phone call was so, so hard on my soul. He was very close to our family, and we'd have these long conversations about life and the universe and everything. And losing him was awful. And my daughter was very close to him too. And, um, having to bury him was on the list of one of the worst things. But my daughter still has a lot of extended birth family that she's very close to. She has two siblings that she's been raised with basically like she, they're great, great people. They're adults now as well. My daughter's 20. And so I am very, very, very grateful for open adoption. I couldn't have raised my kids without that. I feel like my children were given to me on a temporary basis, that I was given the gift to raise them in this life, but they're not just mine. And they are just as much a part of their birth family as they are mine. They are part of my family, and it happened the way it was supposed to. But I'm very grateful that I was able to be their mom. And it was not easy. I divorced my husband when my kids were seven and 11, and overnight became a single mom full-time, and it was really, really scary. But I've had people placed in my life that have been there to help me through this and kind of guide me. Um, whenever I struggle, there was always someone there that said, "Let me help you."
"Wow. Wow, Heather. Your story is incredible. Just the amount of exposure you had to the other side, and, um, I feel connected to your story. I, um, my sister-in-law passed away, and she had ulcerative colitis before she got cancer, so I feel like this connection with you, and, um, I'm, I'm truly touched. Vinnie, I want to hear, um, some similarities that you feel and how you are feeling as you hear Heather's story."
"Well, I, I loved when you were describing the music because I could hear it, too. Um,"
"Brings you back, huh?"
"It does. Like, even, and what's neat is when someone's describing it, even though their words aren't actually describing it good enough, because you can't, our words can't describe it, but you can tell that their experience plugged into that. And I could feel it. I could even feel my body like feeling it. Um, I, you know, I'm immensely grateful for your experience. And that's the first time I've heard the whole thing. That's, I had no idea there were so many in yours. Did you, did you ever take count of how many times you popped in and out?"
"Yeah, there was at least 20. And I, I thought that was normal. I thought everyone did that. Um, after I got out of the hospital, I went to live with my parents for a while for physical therapy because I, they had to take care of me. And I went to the library and got every single book on near-death experiences trying to find the water portion of it. Yeah, because that to me was like the most magical part, and I wanted to see if other people had had that experience. And I know now they're all different."
"Well, what's neat is it's a unified space that we all go to, and we get the, we get the exact version that we need, so that we can come back healed and we can come back and and help heal others around us."
"Yeah."
"It's really, uh, amazing. What's, what's your, your least favorite after effect from your experience?"
"Um, like physically?"
"Uh, anything like for, for me, it's like, uh, I don't like to know certain things that I end up knowing. Um, but that's also one of my favorite after effects, too. Um, I really struggled for a while being back here, like because our body is so heavy here, like we're, we're full of, um, and being in this body, you don't have the ability to kind of be free. And so it's very hard being in such a heavy body. So that's the least favorite, I think."
"Yeah, it's kind of like going from being a frog to a hummingbird and back to a frog. It's like you,"
"Yeah,"
"you don't get as much freedom. And probably frog, maybe like a slug. There you go."
"Well, what's your physical therapy too, that you know might ever improve?"
"What's your favorite after effect? What, what's the favorite residue effect of your experience?"
"Probably the, the blissful feeling of love. Sometimes I'll, I'll just be, you know, out in nature or something, and suddenly I, it's almost like the love surrounds me again, and I feel like I'm right back there, and it's just a fleeting moment, but then I think, 'Oh, thank you for that beautiful feeling again.' It hits at opposing moments when you're least expecting it. But, yeah, it's funny. You can't set it up, um, unless you're really, really good. But, um, it's hard because it, it's, it's here and there, and all of a sudden when it hits you, you're like, 'This is amazing.'"
"Yeah. Yeah."
"I love that."
"Yeah. So, I spend a lot of time in nature and hiking. I live in the mountains, and I literally hike every morning first thing, and when I'm out there and it's quiet and peaceful and the sun's shining down on me, I, I feel the closest I could to the other side."
"Did you ever find out who your guide is?"
"I've, I've just always called him my guide. I, I feel like he's very ancient, and I've never named him besides like, the ancient one. I don't feel like he's a family member."
"Does he, does he, does he kind of stand behind you on the right?"
"He's like right, right here. Yeah."
"He announces his presence with his energy, like I can always know when he's there."
"Yeah."
"He's definitely male figure energy."
"Well, that's awesome."
"Heather, how would you, I mean, I haven't had an NDE. Many of our listeners have not had an NDE, but we, I, I can feel myself just craving a piece of your experience. So, how could I get a piece of your experience? I, I feel like a lot of people meditate. I have ADHD, and I cannot make my brain calm down. Like, I just, I think about other things like I should be washing the floors or whatever. So, meditation is hard for me. But a lot of people do find that way. For me, it's when I'm in a very quiet place, the water, especially if I'm in a lake, that's where I feel the presence that's closest to the other side. But I think one of the things I gained from the other side is that we are here, and it's all about love. And by acts of service, um, it kind of brings us closer. And so to me, it's how you treat other people. But a lot of times, if I need that quiet presence again, I will go into nature and just be by myself and just sit very quietly and just kind of put myself in a headspace of blocking everything out."
"So, Heather, I got a question. Thinking back on the, you're there, you see these the kids in spirit form before you actually raise them, and they're not your biological kids, but what insights do you have on, and this is a big question, I'm going to try to explain it. Um, so we're all part of God's family, and we've got this love and the interactions that we have. What insights do you have on, I'll just call it found family? People that you interact with that you've got that you're here to help or that are here to help you, and whether they're biological or not. What, just what are some thoughts and insights that you gained from that experience on how we're all connected?"
"I feel like we are all family. We're just one huge family. And so even if we're not blood related, we can still be family. Um, my son said something funny the other day. He's like, 'Well, they're not family. They're not blood related.' And I said, 'Well, you're not blood related to me.' He's like, 'Well, yeah, you're my mom.' But to me, um, obviously because, you know, my kids aren't blood related to me, I don't feel like that's a huge thing. Um, I think your family is who you make your family. And I almost feel like we have soul contracts on this earth. And I, I do, we have certain people that we are meant to come to this life with that help us. And a lot of times when you meet them, it's like you feel this, like, 'Oh my gosh, I know you,' and for whatever reason, we are meant to meet on this earth and help each other in this life. And so even if they're not family, they're still, we're all still connected. Um, we come from, you know, from source, really."
"I'm curious, um, you, you saw God."
"Mhm."
"I think people would love to hear, um, just you describe a bit more in detail, maybe the feelings or, I mean, you described what you saw, but can you give us some more detail? It's like he knew all of us, and for whatever reason, he took on that form. And I've heard other people, whenever I hear someone say, 'I saw God,' I think, 'Okay, what did he look like?' And they always describe him differently, but for whatever reason, he came in that form to me. But he was just, it's like if you take all the love in the universe and put it into this ball of energy, that's what he was. He had this presence of just still calmness, very, very calm. Um, it's like he could look into your eyes and see your soul. And I, as I'm looking at him, I'm thinking, 'I remember you. I know you.' And he gave me all the love he could. And it, I think some people, depending on their religion, they're scared of, you know, coming to face God and being judged. I didn't feel any judgment. And again, I was pretty young, but I didn't live, you know, the perfect life or whatever. But I didn't feel like he was judging me. I felt like he was just giving me all the love he had. And there was just immense love with no, no worry. I didn't feel, um, diminished in his presence. He was just, it was like being with someone that you've known your entire life and, and you don't see them for a bit, and you're so happy to be with them again. I, I could never deny now, um, what awaits us on the other side. And so when someone says there's no God or Jesus, I think that hurts my soul because I, I could never deny it now. Um, what I saw was so intense that it's just, it's pure knowledge in my, my heart, my soul."
"So, having had this experience and that reality, that feeling, that knowledge of what's on the other side, what do you see as the whole point of our existence here? Why are we here?"
"Well, I think we, we learn from our trials. A lot of people have trials, and they can be pretty hard, but I think it's almost like we level up each experience. We, we gain knowledge and, um, level up in a way. And I, I think that this is such a hard life for everybody. No one gets through it unscathed. And even those that have easy lives, they still have trials. And so I know not to compare my life to others and think, 'Well, they have it so much easier. Why is that?' Because we're each sent here with a mission in a way, I think, to live our life and to gain, um, understanding from it. But it's definitely harder to be here than I think anyone ever really realizes before we come here. And I joke, um, you know, that sometimes people say we choose our trials, and I think, 'Okay, they were like, you know, you choose this one or this one, and I think I'll choose that one,' not realizing what it would entail, because I've, I've not had an easy life. I've had a lot of health issues from this, and, um, even, you know, I'm healthy now. It's just, it's been a hard life. But I'm able to look at it a different way. Instead of saying, 'Why did you do this to me?' I can look at it now, years later, and say, 'Thank you for this experience. It's given me the tools I need in this life to help others.' And it really is all about love, how we love others. And so that to me is why I had that experience. I needed that. Even if it's like, a lot of times people that are passing away that I know, I'll talk with them, they'll say, 'I'm so scared of dying.' And for me, my number one thing is there's no reason to be scared. And so I'm always grateful when someone's close to the veil when I can talk with them and maybe ease their fears so they aren't afraid to return home, because it's like walking through one door into another, and there's a party waiting on the other side for you. We don't need to be fearful of it."
"Yeah, that's hanging out with people like Vinnie and you and just everything that I've heard about what to look forward to. I'm, I'm really looking forward to it. Um, and there, I mean, still plenty to do here. I was actually talking with my wife about this, just a day or two ago, that just the, the way that I see the existence here is sometimes kind of like playing a game. I'm like, 'Okay, the game's not really fun right now, but I'm going to make the most of it because I still got to play.' And, um, but I know that just like, so growing up, I played games with friends, and some games were better than others, but I would hang in there till the end, hopefully learn something and apply it. But as soon as you pack the game up and put it back on the shelf, you're not in the game anymore, and all you've got is memories and whatever you learned. And if the game's not going well, it doesn't matter because you're not playing it. So, um, but with that, it's, uh, I got to be careful sometimes when somebody, it's actually slipped out of my mouth a couple of times. Oh, this person passed away. And I want to say, 'Oh, good for them.' I think to myself, 'What a beautiful reunion they're having right now.'"
"Happy graduation."
"Because it's, I mean, it's sad for us when somebody graduates early, or what we think is graduating early. But, uh, yeah."
"Yeah, it's really totally changed my perspective on that, and, um, yeah, just trying to play the game as best I can."
"Yeah, I completely agree with that. And I, I lost a friend about a year and a half ago. Um, she had a structural surgery and left us very unexpectedly. And while she was in intensive care in a coma, she was able to visit me, and I was told, you know, whether she chooses to stay or go is her decision, and you will be okay. And I was, even with the knowledge that the other side was wonderful and profoundly happy, I was in tears for days, non-stop. Like I was very, very, I just couldn't quit crying. And once I had that experience, it was like the energy of love went from my head and just went through my entire body to my feet, and I knew that it was going to be okay. And she did end up passing away. And I was able to change my experience from being so sad and losing her to knowing that she's still with me. I can still feel her. I mean, she's just as funny dead as she was alive. I know she's nearby, and sometimes they're like, 'I know you did that, Diane.' Yeah. But when people pass away, I always think they have no idea how amazing things are about to get. But it's hard for those on this side to lose them. They don't, they don't get that wonderful experience that they do."
"So, I got a question. When you have these hard experiences, uh, how different is it for you going through it knowing that, like, what awaits you after this life, like with the water or everything else? Um, I imagine it has to help knowing that as bad as it can be here, it's not going to last forever, forever."
"Yeah. So, one experience of that, um, so every once in a while, I will eat something wrong or drink water wrong, and my small intestine will get obstructed. It's probably worse than any childbirth. It's very, very painful, and it will last for like 17, 20 hours. And as I'm going through that, you know, vomiting non-stop, I think, 'This doesn't last forever. You can get through it.' Even though you're in the worst depths of hell right now, it will get better. And I know from experience it does. But when you're in that, that moment, you just want to give up. But I've had to kind of retrain myself to think, 'Okay, nothing bad lasts forever.' So when I'm in other bad situations, like I have this quote, you know, 'You've survived so far 100% of your your worst days, and you'll get through this,' is what I always think. So even if we're having a horrible, horrible day, the next day can be wonderful. There's always some little gift around the corner for us. That makes things a little bit easier for me. So, I've got one more question I just want to ask. Um, so if you had, with everything you've had, if there's one message that you could share with the entire world, what would that message be?"
"That we are loved. We are loved more than we will ever know. And we are known by our creator, by our source, by God, whatever you want to call him. He knows every single one of us. And even if we feel like we're alone in this earth, and sometimes we do, we feel alone, we're not. And I've said before, um, I, I think prayer is very important. It's like lights of balls of energy. They're being sent upwards, and sometimes those aren't answered the way we want, and we lose faith. But every single prayer is heard. Every part of our soul is loved on the other side. And we have this beautiful life that we can make of it. And it's all about loving others and creating joy in their lives. And, you know, it can be as simple a thing as, you know, holding the door open for someone when they come to a grocery store, or not screaming when someone cuts in front of you, you know, in traffic, which I struggle with sometimes. But yeah, it's, it's almost like we just need to put our, our most immense love to the world. And if you look at the news now, which I don't really watch the news because there's too much anger and hate, I think if we spent more energy trying to love others instead of trying to fight and be divisive, we could have a higher energy level of love in this world."
"Yeah."
"So, it all comes down to love, I think."
"Yeah. That's beautiful. Um, so one last question that we like to leave with our guests, Heather, is how is Heather living God's light?"
"I, since this experience, I've become very, very spiritual. I didn't really like religion before, was just like, me, whatever. But I try to live each day intentionally, and I try to bring light to someone's life every day, even if it's just to smile at somebody. But I know that there's more waiting for us on the other side, and I want to be able to be welcomed back with open arms. And so I try to, to make sure that I try to live each day with love in my heart and just be the type of person that can give love to others."
"Thank you for expanding your light today. If you want to find more information, get connected to our community, or simply contribute, see our website at livinggodsllight.org. As always, please subscribe."
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