Fall 2025 - Somewhere Beyond the Sea - Part 7 - pages 195 - 235

Somewhere Beyond the Sea, part seven.

On a Tuesday afternoon in summer, the sun high, near a cloud in the blue, blue sky, the residents of Marcus Island prepared for war. Or rather, Lionus and Arthur called them all together to attempt to prevent war, a grievous bodily harm if possible. Which was why they'd had the children scour their rooms for anything that might be construed as a weapon or anything dangerous the inspector could use against them.

While they waited in the sitting room, listening to the cacophonous crashes coming from upstairs, Lionus paced in front of the fireplace, hair sticking up at odd angles where he'd been running his hands through it. He glanced at Arthur, who sat in a chair, hands folded in his lap.

"How are you so calm?" he demanded, hands on his hips. "Were you like this before I arrived?"

"I was a mess," Arthur said, "frightened more than I'd been in a long time. Same as I am now."

Lionus blinked. "You didn't act like it."

Arthur tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Just because I didn't let you see it doesn't mean it wasn't there, and it didn't last long. Debating philosophy in the forest while you were in your explorer outfit changed my mind." He waggled his eyebrows. "Seeing in those brown shorts was quite the distraction."

Lionus sniffed. "I do fill them out, don't I? I'm surprised you were able to keep your hands off me."

"It was a monumental struggle," Arthur agreed. "I suppose if there's hope for me, there is hope for anyone."

Lionus puffed out of breath. "But that doesn't mean you can flirt with the inspector like you did me. I doubt they'll be swayed by your wiles."

Arthur grinned. "Noted, especially since the government seems to think I use my wiles to my advantage. To disabuse them of the notion, I will keep some said wiles to myself. Let's not go too far. I happen to enjoy your wiles."

The first two children clumped down the stairs, Fee saying, "And that's why we made this for you. Don't worry about trying to memorize everything right away. Not even Arthur could do that. It'll take time."

David said, "And you're sure this will work?"

"Yeah," Fee said as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "It might seem a little complicated because it's not just about the sounds he makes, but the emotions behind the sounds. Thankfully, you have us. We'll all help you learn about different things, like me with trees, Talia with her plants, Chanty with the sea, Lucy with scary stuff."

"What kind of scary stuff?" David asked excitedly as they came into the sitting room. In his hands, David held a ream of paper tied together with colorful yarn. Fee had a bag slung over her shoulder, which she sat down near the entryway to the sitting room.

"Like blood and guts," she said. "He's good at all those things. S can help with almost everything else because he speaks better wyvern than even Arthur does. That's why they are best friends."

When S first got here, he didn't talk very much, but Theodore took to him right away. Turns out some types of wyverns thrive on empathy. And Theodore said, S shone with it brighter than almost anything.

David's eyes widened in anticipation. "Thrive on like feed?"

Fee snorted. "Not like that. But that's a cool idea. We should tell them so they can act like that's what happens. It's more that they bring the better parts of each other out. And it helps S find his voice to learn Theodore's." She paused, frowning. "I wonder if that's why Theodore can breathe fire now."

"A pretty thought," Arthur said, and one that Arthur couldn't find fault with. Sal and Theodore rarely went anywhere without each other, and both had blossomed since their arrival on the island. Though Arthur knew he and the others had played a part in it, there was a truth to Fee's words. Theodore had done more for S than anyone else.

"What do you have there?" Arthur asked David.

"It's a translation book," David said. "To help me learn Wyvern." He flipped through the pages, eyes darting side to side as he read. "Where's the section on curse words?"

Lionus crossed his arms. "I doubt they would have put such a thing in."

"In the back," Fee said. "Last three pages."

David gleefully flipped to the back of the book, smile widening as he read. After a moment, he lifted his head and said, "Click, click, roar, clickity, click."

Lionus lifted a hand to his throat. "Well, I never. We do not use such language in this house."

Fee snorted. "Keep telling yourself that."

"You made this?" Arthur asked.

"Fee." She shrugged, looking away with a scowl. "I didn't. We all did. Thought it would help. It's not a big deal."

"I think it is," Arthur said. "Whose idea was it?"

Fee rolled her eyes. "It was mine."

"I see. That was kind of you, Fee." She flushed, her wings trembling as David continued to read, his face inches from the page. A moment later, she leaned over, started pointing out tips and tricks she'd learned in her own quest to understand Theodore.

It wasn't long before they were joined by the rest of the household. Each of the children bringing down their own bag, gathering in the entryway as Arthur rose from his chair. Lionus joined him as Fee and David stood with the others, all waiting to see what Arthur would say next. S stood with his hands behind his back, Theodore perched on his shoulder.

"We've discussed what's going to happen starting tomorrow," Arthur said, "as we did with Lionus. We will show our guests kindness and courtesy, and absolutely no one will make threats up to and including bodily harm and/or death."

Everyone looked at Lucy and Talia.

"What?" Talia asked. "I'm a gnome. I'm supposed to be threatening. It's like my thing."

"Right there you are. Sister from another mister," Lucy said. "Except I'm not a gnome, just the incarnation of evil."

"Be that as it may," Arthur said, "we don't want to run the risk of anything negative going into a report. As such, I expect all of you to be on your best behavior, and each of us must play our parts in order to keep David from being discovered."

Lionus said, "The inspector can't know he's here."

David raised his hand. Amused, Arthur said, "Yes, David."

"What if they see me? Will Lucy and Talia kill the inspector and bury them in the garden?"

"Yes," Lucy and Talia said together.

"No," Lionus said loudly. Theodore chirped and squeaked, spreading his wings.

"Don't tell me what he said," David cried. "I want to figure it out on my own." He opened the book once more, flipping through the pages before stopping on one, eyes narrowing. "H," he said. "So, if I've got this right, Theodore just said, 'Um, okay.'" He said, "Ah, he said that murder is legal, but only if you don't get caught." He squinted at the translation text. "Wait, that can't be right."

"There will be no killing," Lionus said sternly. "Or maiming," he added as Lucy opened his mouth. "And David, if you are discovered, we will be right by your side. Though we want to avoid that if we can, we must prepare for any eventuality." He eyed each of the children wearily. "It's why we've asked you to bring us anything that might be misconstrued."

"You better not throw anything away," Lucy warned. "If you do, there is nowhere on this earth you could hide that I wouldn't find you."

"That threat worked better on me when I didn't know you liked footy pajamas," Lionus said.

"That's because they have a flap for my butt cheeks," Lucy said. "Humanity's finest invention next to music. If I grow up and decide to enslave the human race, I'll make footy pajamas mandatory for everyone."

"Until then," Arthur said, "we are on our best behavior. Show us what you brought, Theodore."

"Well, let's start with you." Theodore flew down from his perch on S's shoulder, tugging his bag over to Arthur's feet, gripping the bottom of the sack, he upended it, spilling out its meager contents on the floor: a few of his baby fangs that had fallen out, a green rock that looked like an oversized arrowhead with a thin line of quartz through the middle, and a familiar brass button with teeth imprinted on it.

Lionus bent over, scooping up the button, bouncing it on his hand. "Why is this dangerous?"

Fee translated for David. As Theodore explained that if the inspector saw how much he loved the button, she might try to take it away. It had been done before, he said, and he thought that meant the inspector might try to do the same. It wasn't dangerous to her, but dangerous to him, as he didn't want to lose one of his treasures.

Lionus reached down and patted Theodore's head, the wyvern leaning into it, eyes fluttering shut. "I don't think they'd take your button, but if you feel strongly about it, I will carry it on my person at all times and return it to you once they leave. Deal."

"Deal," Theodore chirped.

Chanty went next, deciding that a comprehensive explanation was needed for each of the items he presented, most of which were sharp seashells or sea glass he'd found buried in the sand. There was also a pile of pine cones.

"It's not what it looks like," Chanty said quickly, as Arthur arched an eyebrow. "I'm just collecting them."

"Yes, collecting them in order to make a a pine cone diorama."

"Oof," V said. "That wasn't even remotely believable."

Chanty groaned. "I can't even lie, right?" He threw up his tentacles. "Congratulations, you caught me. I eat pine cones after everyone goes to bed. But it's fine. I can stop whenever I want."

"Of course you can," Lionus said.

"Fee." She turned over her own sack, the contents spilling out onto the floor. Her contribution was a bit more involved than Theodore's offerings. Bits of driftwood and spiny leaves along with an impressive dagger with a jeweled hilt that glittered in the light.

"Where did you get that?" Arthur asked.

"Want it playing cards?" Fee said.

"What?" Lionus said.

She shrugged. "I'm good at go fish. You know how it is. Jbone didn't believe me when I said no one had beaten me at go fish. So he best his dagger and then I kicked his ass."

"Fee," Lionus said. Theodore gripped the dagger in his claws, rolling over onto his back to bring the blade up to his face to inspect. His tongue snaked out, flicking against the jewels. He chirped three times, and Fee was immediately outraged. "What do you mean they're fake?"

"Talia," Arthur said. "You're up."

"I can't bring any of my tools," she said, shuffling forward and picking up her bag. "They are weapons, but implements of my trade. If the inspector has a problem with that, they can die mad about it."

"Noted," Arthur said. Talia turned her bag over, and Arthur almost wished he could be surprised by what he saw, but he wasn't. At least a dozen glass bottles, small with fat circular bases, where liquid sloshed. Each bottle had the same design drawn into it, a skull and crossbones.

"Is that poison?" Lionus asked aghast.

"It is," said Talia, "of my own concoction and I grew all the ingredients myself. Hemlock, deadly nightshade, white snake root with a pinch of cinnamon for taste. According to my calculations, it should take only 30 seconds before anal leakage starts, quickly followed by leakage from some everywhere else."

"Anal leakage?" David asked with wide eyes, hands going behind to cover his rear.

"That sounds like the name of a band," Lucy said. "Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Anal Leakage. Guess what kind of music we play?"

Lionus sighed. "Gospel."

"Nope. Gos."

"Oh yeah, that's right. Are you stalling, Lucy?" Arthur asked mildly. "I see that it's your turn."

"Ha," he said. "I have no problem turning anything over because Lionus said if we try anything can happen."

Lionus smiled. "That's exactly right, Lucy. Thank you for which means anything can be a weapon if you try hard enough." He began to tick off his fingers. "Spoons, a flight of stairs. Sinkholes, peanut butter, air."

"Lucy," Lionus warned.

"What? It's true. Be that as it may, we do not use sinkholes or peanut butter as weapons. Funnily enough, we've talked about this very thing twice." He shook his head. "At least S doesn't have poison or death by spoon on his mind."

S fidgeted. Arthur cleared his throat pointedly. S made a face and then pulled out his hands from behind his back. Arthur almost laughed when Lionus started to splutter in shock.

"Is that where did you why did you Is that a sword?" It was a long flat blade with a wooden hilt wrapped in red fabric. It looked heavy, but S held on to it tightly.

"How?" Lionus asked helplessly.

"Joe's kind of bad at cards," S explained, scratching the back of his neck. "He said he could beat me at old maid. Turns out he couldn't."

"Arthur."

"Yes, Lionus. Why is the owner of the record store giving our children weapons?"

"Because he's not very good at cards," Arthur explained. "He should really practice more before making bets against others."

"Lucy, it's your turn." Lucy sighed dramatically before scooping up his bag. Without looking away from Lionus, he tipped the bag over, spilling out its contents: a small axe, an aerosol spray can with what appeared to be a lighter attached in front of the nozzle, a throwing star, a garrote. Last, but certainly not least, three red tubes with black wicks sticking out the top.

"Is that dynamite?" Arthur asked?

Lucy lit up. "I'm so glad you asked. It is dynamite. I was saving it for something special, like when we need to get rid of a body. But then Talia hurts her hand and can't dig a grave, so I suggest blowing it up instead. And everyone agrees. And then I get to light the dynamite and run, and voila, no more body to worry about."

"Wow," Talia said. "That was impressive. I'm on team Lucy."

"Me too," David said. "And me," Chanty said, jumping up and down. "I want to blow up somebody's body. I'll bet it rip. I'll bet it'll rain organs," Fee said. "Cloudy with a chance of lungs."

"See," Lucy said, a picture of perfect innocence. "It's not just me."

"Be that as it may," Arthur said, "we aren't going to be blowing up anyone."

"Thank you, Arthur," Lionus said, frowning down at Lucy. "At least not until the inspector is left," Arthur continued. "I don't think I need to impress upon any of you how serious this is. And unfair, and as unfair as it may seem, our future rests in the hands of whoever Dikcomi will be sending. I expect each of you to be on your best behavior, Lucy. That includes you."

"Why does it sound like you trust the process?" S asked.

Arthur blinked in surprise. "Explain, if you please."

Arthur shrugged awkwardly and Theodore muttered in his ear. S nodded along with whatever Theodore was saying. By the time the wyvern finished, S looked determined. "You're making it seem like we have to bend over backwards for Dcomi, that if we try hard enough, they'll believe us when we say this place is safe and where we want to be."

"Why wouldn't that be the case?" Lionus asked.

"Why should we do anything for them?" S asked. "If they're so worried about what we're capable of, shouldn't they bend over backwards for us? Why is it on our shoulders to prove anything? We're kids."

"You are," Arthur agreed. He looked at each of the children in turn. "I wish I had a better answer. If I could shield you from this, I would. But since he can't," Lionus said, "it's up to us. We'll show Diccomy. They picked the wrong family to trifle with. If push comes to shove, they won't know what hit them." He bent over, scooping out a stick of dynamite, gripping it tightly. "Trust me on that. I'll stick this where the sun doesn't shine."

"Ooh," Lucy whispered. "That made me feel tingly." He rushed forward, wrapping himself around Lionus's leg, tilting his head back. "Even though it was my idea, I'll let you be the one to light it."

"A perfect gentleman," Lionus said, patting the top of his head.

"So, you see, children," Arthur said. "They may have the strength of the government behind them, but we have each other. I think Daikcomi will find themselves extremely outmatched. Come now, let's clean up this mess and prepare for tomorrow."

For the rest of the day, they scoured the house, looking for anything that could be used against them. Sal and Theodore put plastic plugs into each of the outlets, lest Lucy decide to stick a fork in one again, just to see what would happen. David, Chanty, and Lucy were tasked with putting soft covers on every sharp corner. Fee and Talia took to their jobs with gusto, growing flowers and leafy vines over the exterior cellar doors to make them appear as if they hadn't been opened in ages, but not so much that David couldn't escape through them should the need arise.

At midday, Zoe called from Helen's shop, speaking with Arthur and letting him know she'd be back on the island the following morning before their guest arrived. "Helen will bring them out."

"Are you sure?" Arthur asked. "Lionus or I could do it. Helen doesn't need to make more trouble for herself than she already has."

She chuckled. "Too late for that. Don't you think? I'm If you apologize again, I'm going to scream."

Helen offered. "I accept it. Simple as that. Get with it. Parnasses. Diccomi doesn't get to decide what a family should look like or how a home should be. It's high time they remember that and that we're not afraid of them."

"I am," Arthur admitted. "Very much so."

"Do you trust me?"

"You know I do."

"Good," Zoe said, "because I have a few tricks up my sleeve, ones they won't see coming. Consider it a last resort should things go south."

"That certainly sounds disturbing. I approve."

That night, after a subdued supper, Lionus made a decision. He stood from the table, telling the children to clean up the kitchen and that he'd be back shortly. Just as S and David finished washing the last of the dishes, Lionus popped his head in, ordering them all to change into their pajamas and to meet him at the front door.

"Upstairs?" Arthur asked.

"Just what are you up to?"

Lionus looked up from his half-button sleep shirt. "You'll see. It isn't much, but I think it'll be enough to distract them at least for a little while. Hopefully, they'll sleep through the night."

Arthur snorted as he patted Collip on the head. She sat on the bed, tails twitching behind her, eyes tracking Lionus's every movement. "Have you met them?"

Back downstairs, the children had gathered near the front door, each wearing their striped pajamas. Aside from Theodore.

"Ready?" Lionus asked, pushing his way through the children to the door.

"Are we going to sleep in the forest?" Lucy asked, tugging on his pant leg. "I've always wanted to see if there were night monsters. I bet they're big with fangs and claws and filled with rage that only subsides when sucking out the marrow from the bones of unsuspecting."

"There will be no marrow sucking," Lionus said sternly. Lucy hung his head, shoulders slumped. "They yet another thing we can't do with bones. What's the point of even having bones if we can't get to play? We don't get to play with them."

"We won't be going into the forest," Lionus said. "I have something different in mind. Single file children, you are responsible for the person in front of you. Should we arrive at our destination with a missing member, the person whose job it was to ensure their safety, will be lucky enough to listen to me regal them with stories about..."

"Well, then I don't think I ever have seen you get in the line that fast before."

"You know how to threaten with the best of them," S told him.

"I do try," Lionus said. "Follow me." He led the way, crickets chirping loudly as the sun ignited the horizon in shades of red and orange and pink. The first stars had started to shine, and the moon looked like a translucent ghost haunting the western skies. They followed Lionus along the side of the house, heading toward Talia's garden. Ever the courteous gnome, she stopped them every few seconds to discuss the latest trends in horticulture, including a study she'd read in Gardening Science Monthly that said plants responded more favorably when sung to.

Talia saw them first, the twinkling fairy lights that had been draped along the railing of the gazebo. The wooden floor was covered in at least a dozen pillows and what appeared to be almost every blanket in the house. In the corner, the small portable Zenith record player spinning dead people music in the form of Buddy Holly singing "If You Knew Peggy Sue."

"You'd know why he fell blue without Peggy," his Peggy Sue.

"Is this for us?" David asked, looking around with wide eyes.

"It is," Lionus said. "Tonight, I thought we should be together. The next two weeks are going to be busy for all of us, and we should have a night when the only thing we have to worry about is Chanty's night gas."

"I'm biologically unique," Chanty explained to no one in particular.

Talia went to the blankets and pillows first, moving them around until she made a perfect nest for herself. Theodore did the same, a bigger one for him, and S. Lucy decided that Fee needed to be brained with a pillow. Unfortunately for him, Fee proved to be quicker, flying up and over Lucy, landing behind him, and then smashing the pillow from his hands, snatching the pillow from his hands. Before he could turn around, she swung the pillow at the back of his head, sending him sprawling onto the floor.

"Do me," David cried. Naturally, Fee obliged, which then dissolved into a pillow fight to end all pillow fights. By the time the battle had ended, goose feathers floated around them. As Lucy screamed, he gave up when Theodore tried to shove a pillow down his throat.

Lionus lay on his back on the floor of the gazebo, breathing heavily, wiping the sweat from his brow. "That went well," Arthur said, standing above him and looking down, head cocked.

"Too old to function," Lionus wheezed, face red, hair plastered against his forehead.

"Ah, well, you certainly didn't act like it," Arthur said. "I don't think I've ever seen a grown man hurl a pillow at a child with as much force as you did."

"We should tell that to the inspector," Lucy said as he peered over his shoulder, trying to look at the flap on the seat of his pajamas. "I bet they'll find it hyster hysterical without holding it against us."

"Or," Lionus said, rolling over onto his stomach, "we don't do that at all, and instead attempt to act at least a little normal so that we don't make things worse."

"Children," Arthur said. "It's time to settle in. Make sure you David, is there an issue?"

David stood near the steps to the gazebo, gripping the railing with one hand, the other balled into a fist. He tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace. "I uh." He looked away, gnawing on his bottom lip. "It can be kind of hard for me to sleep when it's not cold. Is it okay if I make some ice?"

"Way ahead of you," Lionus said, pushing himself off the floor. "Here, look." He motioned for David to move to the right side of the gazebo near where Lucy and Talia were sitting. Lionus lifted up one of the blankets. There, underneath were rows of frozen ice packs, each about 6 in wide, nearly a foot long. The blanket had a zipper along the side, and when Lionus opened it so David could see the interior, more ice packs jutted out.

David reached out and touched the corner of one of the ice packs. "I know you can make your own ice," Lionus said. "But I thought I'd help out a little in case you were tired. If you need something, all you have to do is ask."

"Except if it's a chainsaw," Lucy said, lying on his back, kicking his feet above him.

Arthur said, "Children, that's enough chatter. Settle in, and we'll see whose turn it is to tell a story."

"It's mine!" Chanty yelled, eyes poking up through a pile of blankets he was hidden under. "I didn't get to do it last time because Lucy took too long reenacting his favorite exorcism."

Arthur shook his head. "By my count, it's actually Fee's turn. Chanty, last time you told the devastatingly beautiful story of how you fell in love, only to realize your affections weren't returned because the object of said affections was a rock."

"Rocky Stonesworth," Chanty said sadly.

So Arthur continued, "It's up to Fee to send us off into Dreamland. Let's give her our undivided attention. And as a reminder, to the more vocal members of the audience, commentary is frowned upon. Even if you think it's amusing."

"He's talking about you," Talia said, shoving Lucy. He shoved her back. "He is not. I bet I can be quieter longer than you can."

Talia and Lucy settled down with the rest of the children, save Fee, who stood above them. The sun finally dipping below the horizon. Her wings glittered in the semi-darkness, her hair hanging loosely on her shoulders. She waited until she had their undivided attention before nodding.

"And now," she said in an ominous voice, fingers crooked like claws, "I will tell you a tale most foul, a story that'll haunt your dreams and follow you into your waking hours, a fable of the folly of men and the lengths they go to in order to escape their own mortality. And every single word of it is true."

"Oh no," Chanty whispered. "True stories are real."

"It begins on an unseasonably cool April morning. Our heroine, an amazing forest sprite who is good at pretty much everything she does, wakes up not knowing that today that today is the day when everything will change and all good feelings will be gone from the world as darkness spreads. Because today is the day that Lionus Baker decides he wants to grow a mustache."

"Boo!" all the children hissed.

"It was fine," Lionus retorted. "I happen to think I looked dashing."

"Yeah, like you were dashing right toward us to kidnap us," Lucy said. Lionus ignored him. "I shaved it off after four days. But it was my choice and had nothing to do with the fact that Theodore kept asking me if he could sample the worm growing on my face."

"Fee," Arthur asked. "Is there more to your tale?"

"Oh, yes," she said. "I haven't even gotten to the part where the mustache becomes sentient and decides to take over the world. And since Lionus is attached to it, he turns into a villain and then we save him with a dull razor, shaving foam, and love."

"On with it, then," Lionus said, resigned to his part in Fee's story. "I don't know why it has to be a dull razor, but I must admit to being a tad intrigued."

"There had better be explosions," Talia warned.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Fe asked, looking moderately offended. "There are going to be at least six explosions."

"Real or imaginary?" David asked.

All the children turned toward Lionus and Arthur with matching expressions of extraordinarily effective pleading. Arthur glanced at Lionus, who shrugged.

"One explosion," Arthur decided. "But it cannot cause any damage."

"Hooray!" Lucy cheered as David beamed. "I'll make it happen in the air. Fee, you tell me when it's time and I'll handle the rest. David, you're going to love this."

"Arthur and Lionus never let us explode things."

"Or people," Arthur said.

"Or people," Lucy said with a grimace.

"I can't believe this place is real," David whispered in awe.

Fee nodded and cleared her throat. "Back to the story. There I was, not knowing that everything was about to change because of a line of hair on a man's upper lip. At first, it looked like a smudge of dirt, but before long, it grew to the size of a sickly caterpillar." She leaned forward, wings rustling, and then it began to whisper.

"Ooh," the children breathed, wrapped in attention on Fee.

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" Lionus whispered to Arthur as Fee continued.

Arthur chuckled, laying his head against Lionus's. "It was not. I happened to find it delightful. But then everything about you is..."

Lionus rolled his eyes fondly. "Foolish, besotted man."

By the time Fee finished, complete with a single explosion high in the sky, which turned into fireworks that rained down streaks of gold and green and red, the children were tucked safely into their makeshift beds, Lucy struggling to stay awake, head lolling, then shooting back up. They applauded her, including Lionus, who might have clapped harder than the rest of them, and she bowed before sinking into her spot next to Chanty. Little conversation sprang up between them, each quieter than the last. David laughed over something Talia told him, lying on his side, cold blanket tugged up to his shoulder.

Arthur sat propped up against the side of the gazebo, looking out onto the island beyond the garden. The moonlight causing the shadows of the trees to stretch long. In the distance, the crash of waves against the cliffs below could be heard. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, only a vast field of stars that seemed endless. Lionus lay next to him, holding Arthur's hand against his chest, fingers spread wide. The slow, calm beat of Lionus's heart, a metronome for a song only Arthur could hear.

He was startled from his thoughts, discordant though they were, when someone said his name. He looked up to find S watching him. Theodore tucked in next to him, his head resting on S's stomach as it rose and fell, eyes closed. The other children were asleep along with Lionus, who had begun to snore softly.

"Yes, we're going to make it." Arthur swallowed past the lump in his throat. When he spoke again, his voice was rough, soft. "Is that right?"

S nodded. "Whatever they throw at us, whatever happens, we're going to make it. We know you're scared." He laughed quietly. "I am too, I guess."

"Are you?"

"Yeah, but," he looked down at his brothers and sisters, "worth it. All of it."

Arthur watched his son closely. "Even with..."

"Worth it," S repeated, stroking Theodore's snout with the tip of his finger. "Lionus told me something once, and I think about it a lot. He said it's okay to not be okay so long as it doesn't bother doesn't become all we know."

"He's right," Arthur said. "Maybe you should remember that sometimes, S."

"Might help," Arthur snorted in surprise. "Is that right?"

"Yes," S said before yawning, the back of his wrist against his mouth. "Besides, we have one thing the government doesn't, and it's going to change everything."

"What's that?" Arthur asked as S closed his eyes. "What do we have?"

His son whispered two words before drifting off to sleep. "Each other."

Chapter 10.

Wednesday dawned, warm and clear, the type of summer day when adventure called to be followed by a well-deserved nap in a swaying hammock attached to palm trees. Or it would have been if this Wednesday had occurred anywhere else. On Marcus Island, this particular Wednesday meant something else entirely.

"Preparing for war."

"We are not preparing for war," Lionus said for what felt like the hundredth time in the last 30 minutes.

"Then why am I wearing a battle helmet?" Chanty asked.

"That's the colander you nicked from the kitchen," Lionus said.

The children had decided to use Lionus and Arthur's room as a base of operations, each of them bringing what they considered necessary to face the days ahead. David wanted to wear a cape. Fee helped with it, tying the ends in a knot around his throat. Fee had a crown of flowers in her hair made up of blooms from Talia's garden. Talia fussed over the state of her beard until S brought her one of her creams to help smooth it down while leaving it with a healthy sheen. Theodore hung from the ceiling like a bat, checking in with Lionus every five minutes or so to ensure a particular brass button was still hidden on his person. Colli watched them all coolly from her perch in one of the windows, green eyes bright. Arthur sat in the high-backed chair, shaking his head each time Lucy came out of his room with a new idea on how to greet the inspector. The first time he came out, he was over 9 ft tall. It had been disconcerting, seeing as how his body was still that of a child, and his legs were now three times longer than they usually were. The second time he came out, he was back to regular size, but wearing a little shirt with red lettering that proclaimed him to be "daddy's little devil."

"Get it?" He asked quite loudly.

"We get it? We get it?" Everyone said, and Lucy beamed.

When he came back out of his room for the third time, he asked, "Has anyone seen a scorpion? No worries if not. He's one of the tiny ones, which means he's really poisonous while also being hard to see."

Arthur sat upright in his chair, looking toward the open door that led out into the hallway. A moment later, Zoe appeared, looking grim. She wore tan slacks and a billowy blouse, the sleeves of which hung over the backs of her hands. Arthur rose from his chair. Lionus must have seen his movement out of the corner of his eye because he looked at Arthur, arched an eyebrow in a silent question, then followed Arthur's gaze toward the door.

"What is it?" Arthur asked as the children fell silent around them. An unnecessary question because he knew they all did.

"She's here," Zoe said. "Just got off the train. Helen's picking her up. She's going to take the scenic way around town to give us a bit more time, but it won't be long."

"We're ready," Arthur said, though it felt like a lie. He hated how easy it was to speak untruths when he wanted to protect others.

"We're going to stab her with kind so much kindness she'll think she'll thank us for it."

"Really should work on the phrasing," Lionus muttered as he stood up, knees popping. "But I like your spirit. Yes, we're ready."

"I guess I'll have to hide now," David said, shoulders slumped as he tried to untangle the knot Fee had tied in his cape. "Just let me get this stupid thing off and I'll be quiet. Promise."

"It's not stupid," Chanty said. "And I think you look amazing. I tried uh to wear a cape once, but it made me look like a super heroic gumdrop."

David laughed, but it faded quickly. He scowled at the knot, claws tearing into the fabric. Arthur stepped forward, pulling David's hands away as he crouched before him.

"Do you understand why this is necessary?"

David wouldn't look at him, gaze firmly planted on his bare feet. He shrugged half-heartedly. "Yeah, I guess. I'm not registered, and she could try and use that against me."

Arthur brushed a short string of hair out of David's face. "Exactly. And that's the only reason. We're not ashamed of you. We're not embarrassed by you. You are wonderful, David. And soon enough, everyone will get to learn what we already know."

Then S said, "No."

Arthur looked over at him with a frown, still hunkered before David. "What was that?"

S stepped forward, looking determined. "Hiding away solves nothing," he said as Theodore nodded from his shoulder. "The only thing it does is make us used to staying in the shadows. That's not fair."

"It isn't," Lionus said carefully as Arthur stood. "And you won't hear us trying to argue otherwise. But this is different. Since David is unregistered, he runs the risk of being removed immediately. We can't take that chance, especially since it might affect the rest of you."

"I don't want to be any trouble," David said, sounding like he was starting to panic. "I can hide," his mouth twisted down as he scuffed a foot against the floor. "And besides, it's not the first time I've had to do it. I'm used to it by now."

S shot Arthur a pointed look before moving to stand in front of David, gripping his shoulders. "We don't want that for you. That's why we all talked about it and came to a unanimous decision." His expression softened. "Sorry we didn't tell you about it. We didn't want to make you uncomfortable, but we want to help."

"David doesn't hide," Fee said, crossing her arms and glaring up at Arthur and Lionus. "We know it could mess things up for the rest of us, but if he can't be seen, then the rest of us won't be either. We'll go on strike."

Chanty pumped his tentacles in the air. "Strike, strike, strike."

"If she has a problem with David, I'll use her for fertilizer," Talia said.

Lucy nodded. "And I'll open up a dimensional doorway in the fabric of reality and send her to a place where even demons fear to tread."

"What is this evil place, you might be asking?" "Great question." He spread his hands wide in a practice display of showmanship. "It's called Florida."

Arthur studied each of the children in turn and found a united front. Though a trickle of unease wormed its way through his chest toward his heart, it was no match for the fierce pride that burned through him. Without Arthur or Lionus, the children had held their own congress and came to a decision on something they perceived to be unreasonable.

"David," he asked gently, "what do you want?"

David jerked his head up, wiping the ice crystals that had formed in the corners of his eyes. He fidgeted, ringing his hands, causing his knuckles to pop loudly. Theodore tittered, spreading his wings and jumping from S's shoulders to David's. Collopy, never to pass up an opportunity, jumped down from the window and brushed against S's legs, meowing loudly until he picked her up. She took Theodore's place, tail wrapped around the back of S's neck. David growled at her, but subsided when Theodore laid his chin on top of David's head. The yeti froze, eyes rolling up. "Uh, what's he doing? What's going on? What do I do? Nothing? Something? Oh my god. Tell me."

"He's showing you that he trusts you," S explained. "And that he's got your back, same as the rest of us." Kiap raised a paw to S's chin, forcing him to look down at her. She began to purr loudly as he pressed his nose against hers. "Because we don't hide. Maybe we did once, but no more. We have the right to exist, registered or not. If Daikcomi has a problem with that," he smiled and in it. Arthur saw his pride, his strength, his purpose. "Then maybe it's time we took on the government. Show them what we're really capable of."

"Anarchy," Lucy shrieked, eyes burning red. "Chaos. Buffets with a never-ending supply of macaroni and cheese. Hellfire."

"David."

Lionus said, "You haven't answered Arthur's question. What is it you want?"

David looked at the other children, Talia and Fee giving him a thumbs up. He hesitated then. "I don't want to hide. I don't want to cause trouble. I won't cause trouble. I promise."

"He can stay with me until she leaves," Zoe offered. "No one can find my home unless I invite them to."

S shook his head. "We thought about that. It's no different from hiding him here." He took in a deep breath, letting it out slow. "We know it's a lot to ask, but this is important, and it's not as if we didn't think things through. We have a plan."

"L," Lucy said, clapping gleefully. "Oh, dear," Lionus whispered.

"Tell us."

At just half noon, the ferry docked at Marcus Island. Arthur heard the sound of Helen's old truck winding its way up the dirt road toward the house, and stepped outside. He was calmer than he expected to be, but it was as if every heightened emotion had burned itself out, leaving only a sense of quiet inevitability. When the truck crested the hill, he stepped off the porch, standing in front of the house, hands folded behind his back. Through the windshield, he could see Helen saying something to the figure sitting next to her, hands gesticulating wildly. The truck came to a stop, brakes squealing. A moment later, it shut off, the engine ticking like a clock. Helen climbed out of the truck, shutting the door behind her, she glanced at Arthur, rolled her eyes, and then went to the bed of the truck, pulling out a rather large suitcase, black with leather handles, obviously heavy as she grunted. The passenger side of the truck opened, and the inspector stepped out, a silver metal briefcase clutched against her chest. She was tall, at least six feet, which would put her just above Lionus and near Arthur's height, and as thin as a whisper. Her brown hair was pulled back into a severe bun, cinched tightly at the top of her head, with not a hair out of place. Pierced ears with small diamonds, rings on each finger, gold and silver, and what appeared to be onyx, each decorated with colorful jewels settling against thick knuckles. Her thin arched eyebrows looked as if they'd been painted on, giving her the appearance of one in a perpetual state of disbelief. She had a beauty mark on her right cheek, and her lips were a slash of blood red, causing her gaunt face to take on the appearance of a more business professional skeleton. The inspector wore no-nonsense flats, black in color, along with a gray pleated skirt, the hem resting just above her knees. Given the summer heat, her coat was a strange choice, cinched tightly at her waist, the red coat was lined with golden buttons up the front, eight in all, four on each side, and a collar that rose dramatically around her head, stiff and lined with fur. She was a sight to behold, and if she hadn't been here as a representative of the government, Arthur might have warned her about the gold buttons and how a certain wyvern might react upon seeing them. But she was, and who was he to ruin what was most likely to be an eye-opening experience? She shut the door behind her, looking up at the sky with a frown. The sun disappeared behind a cloud, as if even it wanted nothing to do with her. That done, she nodded, spun on her heels, and made her way toward Arthur. Her gaze flickered from him to the house behind him, though her face was a blank mask, giving nothing away.

"Mr. Parnasses," she said, her voice deeper than he thought it had be, sounding like a pair of heavy, ominous doors slowly opening. She did not extend her hand in greeting, stopping a few feet away from him. Her eyes were flat and narrow, the color of storm clouds, younger than Arthur and Lionus, though not by much. "My name is Harriet Marblemma. You may refer to me as Miss Marblemma. I have been asked with in I have been tasked with inspecting this orphanage by the department in charge of magical youth."

Arthur bowed. "Welcome to Marcus, Miss Ma Mar Marble Maw. I do hope your trip was uneventful. As you're undoubtedly aware, I recently rode the train myself. Fascinating mode of transportation, wouldn't you agree? Though in my humble opinion, riding the bus was much more pleasurable."

Miss Marblemma Maw stared at him unblinking. "I was unaware I came here to discuss public transportation."

"You did not," Arthur agreed. "You are here, as you said, to inspect an orphanage, which puts me at a bit of a loss. You see, this is not an orphanage. This is a home. I hate to think you came all this way with faulty information. That would certainly make your job that much more difficult."

Miss Marblemma chuckled, shifting her briefcase until it rested against her forearm. "I was there," she said patiently, pleasantly, "for your testimony. It was enlightening and also unfortunate given how it ended." Before he could respond, she opened the briefcase, looked through Dcomi stamped files, and pulled out an official-looking document. "This is the order from Dcomi signed by interim Dcomi head Janine Routder, allowing me access to the island, the children, and anything else I require during my stay." She held out the page toward him. "I think you'll find that even you won't be able to talk your way out of this."

Arthur ignored the document. "And how is Miss Routder? Our first and only meeting ended with her leaving before we finished. I do hope it was nothing I said."

She glanced over his shoulder. "Where are the children?"

Arthur nodded. "Eager, are we? I don't blame you. I too was fit to burst the first time I met them. I'm glad we have that in common."

"That's one way of putting it," Helen muttered as she approached, setting the suitcase down near the inspector's feet. For her part, Miss Marblemma barely acknowledged Helen's existence, and she did not tip, which was something Arthur would have to make sure Chanty was aware of. He would have a few choice words about that, Arthur was sure.

Miss Marblemma cocked her head, not unlike a bird, as she shoved the document back into the briefcase, latching it shut. "Do you think yourself amusing, Mr. Parnasses?"

"I do, though, as I told one of my young charges. Humor is subjective, and it..."

"I thought as much. You seem the sort." She squared her shoulders and smiled. On anyone else, Arthur would have thought it a little a funny little grin, but with Miss Marble Ma, it seemed as if she thought she was already dealing with a child. in it. Everything he despised, smarmy condescension mixed with unearned confidence, all disguised in a candy apple coating, sticky sweet, and that made her more dangerous than she'd been even a moment before. Whatever else was, she wasn't a fool. She'd known exactly who to send to the island. Miss Marblemma proved that when she spoke again. "I am familiar with your history, Mr. Parnasses, somehow you've been able to charm yourself into a position of great power ignominously. You pulled the wool over the eyes of extremely upper management."

Arthur laughed, trying to keep his anger at bay. The phoenix lifted its head, wings ruffling. "Did I now? But I won't fall for your tricks. I am not Charles Warner. I am not Lionus Baker. The reason I'm here is to..."

Ensure not only that the children are being cared for, but that you aren't filling their heads with pro propagandic anti-government sentiments.

Speaking of propaganda, Helen said sweetly, "I remember what happened to all the Dcomi posters you asked about when driving through town. Silly me. I don't know why it took me till now."

"Good," Miss Marblemma said, distracted as she moved her briefcase from one hand to the other. She bent over to pick up her suitcase. "Your cooperation will be noted."

"What happened to them?"

"It appears the salt in the air does not agree with the adhesive provided," Helen said. "And since we did not want to run a foul of the government, we followed their instructions, which said not to use our own to the letter. Unfortunately, all of the posters blew into the ocean."

Miss Marblemma stood upright and squinted at Helen. "I absolutely beg your pardon. The adhesive, you say? Noted. I will be sure to inform the appropriate office of the issue. It will be corrected immediately. In the meantime, you have my permission to use tape or even push pins."

"Blast it!" Helen exclaimed. "We're fresh out of both. I will put in an order post haste to ensure we have enough tape and push pins in the future."

"See that you do," Miss Marble Moss said with a sniff. "After all, it is important for any magical person to know their government is watching them and cares about their well-being."

Helen stepped forward, kissing Arthur on the cheek, her mouth near his ear. She whispered, "Careful with this one." She pulled away, nodded, and then headed back toward her truck. "Please let us know if you need to head into the village," she called over her shoulder. "Keep in mind that the ferry rates fluctuate, so I can't guarantee the same price as when you crossed. Peril, petrol is expensive after all. But then you work for the government, so I'm sure no expense will be spared. Toodles."

"Would you like me? Would you like to introduce me to the children?" Miss Marblemma asked as Helen's truck fired up. "Also, while I'm here, I'll need to speak with Zoe Chapel White. Since she has contact with the children, she is not exempt from any inquiry. I'm sure you'll be kind enough to facilitate that meeting, won't you?"

"Good man." Suitcase in hand, she brushed by him without hesitation and walked toward the house.

"Here we go," Arthur whispered, following her inside. The house was quiet, unnervingly so. Miss Marble Mos stopped inside the entryway, setting her luggage and briefcase near the door. As Arthur closed the door behind them, Miss Marblema Ma made a show of opening the briefcase once more, pulling out a clipboard with a red ink pen clipped to the front. She turned and began inspecting the walls. She kicked a baseboard, leaving a small smudge. Then she ran a finger along the table near the door, lifting it close to her eyes. "No dust," she muttered. "Odd." She crouched down before an electrical socket, pulling at the plastic plug before shoving it back in and ma marking something on the clipboard.

Arthur cleared his throat. He expected her to jump. She didn't, only turning her head to glance at him.

"Before we go any further, excuses already, Mr. Parnasses. That doesn't bode well."

Arthur waved her off. "Nothing like that. I'm of the mind that if you want something badly enough, you'll find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

Her eyebrows rose on her forehead. "Is that an accusation, sir?"

"It was not," Arthur said mildly. "But it would seem as if you're primed to consider most anything suspicious, and I would urge caution against that."

"Would you?" she asked as she stood slowly. "And why would that be?"

"Because if you're convinced, if you've convinced yourself that there is darkness around every corner, you're conditioned to fear it. Especially when it goes hand in hand with a particular narrative. The narrative that you, a magical being, one of the strongest known, is attempting to take possession of potentially dangerous children, some of whom have the power to end life as we know it. Is that the particular narrative you speak of?"

Coolly amused, as if she were Collopy, and he her prey, trying to tire him out before attacking. "It is," Arthur said, "and one that is extraordinarily problematic. Though I shouldn't have to remind you, I will. Regardless of what powers they do or do not have, they are still children. And since you are in our house and they are under my care, if at any point I believe you are jeopardizing their well-being, meaning physically, psychologically, or emotionally, I'll do what I must to ensure their safety."

Miss Marble Moss smiled thinly. "I don't know what kind of person you take me for, Mr. Parnasses, but I'm offended at even the suggestion that I would harm the children in any way. The very idea is preposterous, and I will gladly take an apology should one be an off should one be on offer."

"I'm not going to."

"I see," she said, scribbling something on her clipboard. "Uncomplent. Uncomplentary. No doubt," before adding, "Let's try a different approach." She looked up, expression blank. "I appreciate the gravity of this situation. I hope you do as well. While I do know quite a bit about you, I am nothing but a stranger to you. Let me share a little about myself." She slid open the pen, slid the pen into the top of the clipboard. "I'm not magical. I wouldn't be in this position if I was. However, I do have talents of my own. One of which I think you might find interesting."

"And what would that be?" Miss Marble Moss said. "I am incapable of experiencing fear. Things that go bump in the night, large snakes with poisonous fangs, mortality, insects, slime, threats from a man who doesn't understand the seriousness of the situation he finds himself in. Nothing frightens me. It's been that way since I could remember. The sooner you realize that, the better off we'll be."

Arthur paused, mind racing. "Then I will keep that in mind. Since you are being upfront with me, I will do the same with you. As you were sent by Miss Router, I assume you have an infestation going on."

Her eyes bulged. "A what?"

"How dare you?"

"Bugs," Arthur said. "But not of the insect variety. I am of course speaking about listening devices similar to the ones deposited in our hotel room before the hearing. If you have brought any with you, I find that and I find that you've planted them in the house. You'll be banished from the island immediately, regardless of whether you've finished your investigation. That is not a threat. It is a fact."

"You can't banish me," she snapped.

He shrugged aphibably. "Interesting. That's what you focused on rather than a denial. But you're right. I can't banish you. Such powers are beyond me. That being said, the island belongs to Zoe Chapel White and you are here with her permission. If she does not want you here, you won't be. Simple as that. Do we understand each other?"

The smug expression returned. "You have no proofer or anyone else from Domi placed a bug in your room. And since there is no proof, what you're saying constitutes slander. There are legal protections against such things, as I'm sure you're aware."

Arthur chuckled. "That I am. No bugs, Miss Marble Maw. The children are allowed their privacy." He moved by her, stopping momentarily to glance over his shoulder. "Coming. Class is in session. You can meet the children after their lessons are finished."

He almost burst into laughter the moment he walked into the classroom on the first floor. Miss Marble Maw close on his heels, the irritating scratch of her pen a constant reminder. For reasons known only to him, Lucy had changed his clothes again. He now wore dress pants, a button-up shirt, and a little tie half the length of Arthur's forearm. As soon as he saw Miss Marblemma walking in behind Arthur, his hand immediately shot up, fingers wiggling as he stood on the chair of his desk. The other children looked at Miss Marblemma with a mixture of worry and interest. Lionus stopped in the middle of his lesson. Wednesday afternoons meant literature discussions and frowned as Miss Marble Mob be before looking at Lucy.

"You had a question about the material."

"I do not," Lucy said loudly. "I just want to wanted to let you know that I love sitting at a desk in the middle of summer so that I can learn rather than play outside."

Lionus blinked. "You do? I mean, of course you do. Thank you for saying what we all already know."

Talia's hand rose. "I also would like to say that learning is so much fun. In fact, there's nothing I would rather do than learn from you, Mr. Baker."

"Why are we calling him that?" Chanty whispered loudly to Fee Fee, glancing nervously at their new guest.

"Because of the scarecrow standing next to Arthur," Fee whispered back.

Miss Marblemog grunted and scrambled on her clipboard. "She's a scarecrow?" Chanty exclaimed. "Oh my goodness, what will they think of next?"

"Children," Lionus said, pulling their attention back to him. "Let's focus, please. Just because we have a visitor doesn't mean we can ignore our studies."

"We should."

Right then, a yeti sauntered into the room, cool as ice, his cape billowing behind him. He posed for a moment, hands on his hips, before glancing up at Miss Marblemma and grinning, fangs on full display. Miss Marblemma's eyes widened as she took a step back before stopping herself. Not frightened, but startled, mouth twisting. "What is that?"

David bowed, almost falling flat on his face, but managing to keep himself upright as at the last second. "Greetings, fair lady," he grabbed the back of her hand and slobbered a kiss onto it before she could snatch it away. "I heard tales of an inspector arriving on the island, but I never expected them to be."

"So you tell me, does your face normally look like that or did you do it up special just for me?"

"Another child," Miss Marblemma whispered, eyes widening. "We knew." She seemed to remember she was surrounded and her mouth snapped shut with an audible clack of her teeth.

David laughed. "A child? Miss, I am no child. I am 47 years old."

Arthur or Lionus groaned at the front of the classroom. Arthur, on the other hand, was extremely fascinated by this turn of events. When the children had said they had a plan for David, they hadn't shared the particulars. Taking David's acting abilities into consideration was a stroke of mad genius, even if it was more than a little ridiculous.

Miss Marble Moss squinted down at David. "Your what?"

"Nearly half a century," David said cheerfully. "You might be asking yourself, 'How can a yeti of that age be so short?' I'm so glad you asked. When I was but a young lad, I found myself between a rock and a hard place. Literally, I was trapped there for seven years until rescued by a traveling carnival, and it stunted my growth. But I don't let it keep me down. After all, I'm an adult."

Miss Marble Maw's face twisted as if an offending odor had filled her nostrils. "You honestly expect me to believe that? If you aren't a child, then why are you here?"

"Arthur and I go way back, David said easily. "Rush to fraternity together."

"Arr Parnasses was never in a fraternity," she said. "Trust me when I say I've done my research. I know everything there is to know about him."

"Do you?" Arthur asked Miss Marble Maw. "And you're right. Of course, I did not rush a fraternity during the time I furthered my education, but only because it was illegal for a magical being to join a human group. That wasn't repealed until well after I'd left."

"By rush, I mean we ran at it," David said. "Because Arthur and I like to run, don't we, old chap."

"That's exactly right," Arthur said, reminding himself to have a conversation with David later about lying responsibly. "I appreciate you being here, David. Your support during this process means the world to me. We're going to have a beer later."

"We're going to drink some beers and talk about the economy just like the good old days," David told Miss Marblemma.

"Is that right?" Miss Marblemma Maw asked. "Strange how that works out. You here looking like you do?"

David started to shrink in on himself. "I can be here if I want to," he muttered. "I'm allowed to."

"That's right," said sharply. "You are allowed to be here." He turned around and raising his hand. When Lionus nodded at him, he said, "Before the interruption, we were discussing the negative effects of a totalitarian government and the dangers language poses, especially when weaponized as propaganda."

"We were," Lionus asked. "I mean, of course we were. That's exactly right. Language can be used for good, but can also cause suffering to marginalize communities," Sal said, voice clear. He did not turn back to look at the inspector again, but she was looking at him with narrowed eyes. Arthur thought that he that had been Sal's point to remove her attention from David.

"So my question is this. If certain language knowingly causes harm, why would a politician use said language in any part of their governance? Does it have a purpose or is it that they just don't care?"

"Isn't it grand?" Arthur whispered to Miss Marblemma. "Children having ideas, talking them through, questioning everything."

"We have different definitions of the word grand," she retorted, continuing to mark up the page on her clipboard.

"Excellent question," Lionus said with an approving nod. "Before I provide my own input, does anyone have an insight they want to share?"

"Because they know exactly what they're doing," Fee said. "They know that fear is a powerful motivator and that many people will believe whatever whatever they're being told."

"And why is that?" Lionus asked.

Theodore reared back on his own desk, wings spread wide as he chirped excitedly. "Wonderful, Theodore," Lionus said. "You got it in one. The idea of caring can be a bit of a minefield. When S asked if they, meaning those in power, don't care. Is that truly what you think? Because I don't think that's correct."

"Interesting," Miss Marblemma muttered. "It appears as if your Mr. Baker isn't as brainwashed as you might have hoped."

"Or Arthur said, you could let him finish. Speaking hypothetically, and only about the book we're discussing, I believe they do care, but not in any way that benefits the groups affected. They care about themselves, about control, about manipulation in media, in polling, in the spreading of fear until subservience is not only a relief, but a welcome one at that."

Arthur turned his head slowly to look at Miss Marblemma, whose face was darkening with barely contained anger. "Do you like to read, madame?"

The skin under her right eye twitched. "There will be discussions on what is said and what is not proper for children to learn in their studies. By the end of the week, I'll expect the lesson plans for each child in addition to a list of all the books you allow them to read. It seems to me that lists that list needs to be cold. She tapped her pen against the clipboard for the children's protection of course. But that is enough for today," Lena said. "As you can see, we have a new guest. She is here on loan from the department in charge of magical youth to make sure you I can handle my own instructions."

"Thank you very much," Lionus expressed expression soured momentarily before he added, "Of course, the floor is yours."

Miss Marblemma moved swiftly toward the front of the classroom, the bottom of her coat billowing around her, mere inches from the floor. Instead of asking Lionus to move, she crowded against him until he stepped to the side. With that, she turned to look at the children and cleared her throat. "Good morning. I am Miss Marblemma. You may refer to me by my name or ma'am. Not hey, not you there. If this concept proves too difficult for any of you to grasp, we will make time for lessons on how to politely address an elder."

Lucy's hand shot up once more, and though Arthur wanted to intervene already, he decided to see what would play out, how the inspector would react to interacting with the children directly for the first time. Miss Marblemma took it in stride. "Yes, you have a question."

"Would you like tea?" Lucy asked sweetly. "We have fresh honey to go with it."

"Good," she said with a nod. "Gentility to government officials is not only proper, it can also be rewarding. Because of your generosity, you shall receive one official courtesy point. Receive 50 points and you'll be honored with a certificate from Daikcomi signed by your favorite politicians."

"Oh, wow," Lucy said, tumbling out of his desk. "My favorite politicians, but there are so many."

Miss Marble Moss nodded solemnly as Lucy went to a small table set up on the other side of the room with tea and a tray of biscuits. "That's wonderful to hear, though many think we should put celebrities on pedestals. I'm of the mind that it's the hardworking people of the government who should be on posters hanging in children's rooms and having their autographs clamored over."

"That's so interesting," Lucy said as he poured the tea carefully. "Gosh, you have really opened my eyes. Thank you for coming here with your face and your words. Sugar, milk, or will just the honey be all right."

"Honey is fine," Miss Marble Mos said. "Now, where was I? Ah, yes. I'm an inspector sent by the department in charge of magical youth. I take my job very seriously, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends." She grimaced, and it took Arthur a moment to realize she was attempting to smile and failing spectacularly. "I want you to think of me like your fun auntie who is here on in a in a an official capacity to determine if this house meets all official requirements or if other options should be considered."

"Your tea, ma'am," Lucy said, holding out the cup toward her with a little bow. She took it from him with a nod. Sipping from it daintily, she smacked her lips and said, "Quite a bit of honey in that. Next time about half as much."

"Thank you for your feedback," Lucy said seriously. "I will take that into consideration going forward." Then he turned to Talia, tapping his chin. "Hey, didn't you tell me about how honey is made? You should share that with Miss Marblem so she can see how you much we've learned."

Talia smiled and nodded. Waiting until Miss Marblemma took a long sip. She said, "You think not everyone appreciates learning that honey is bee vomit."

Arthur knew Lucy was expecting Miss Marble Ma to spit out the tea in what would most likely be a spectacular explosion. Instead, she swallowed and said, "My grandfather raised honeybees. I'm well aware of what I'm consuming. Thank you very much."

Lucy frowned up at her, taking a step back. "Uh, that's Huh."

She cocked her head at him. "You must have been hoping for a different reaction then, I see." Pulling out a black handkerchief from the right sleeve of her coat, she dabbed it against her lips. Once done, it disappeared back up her sleeve. She looked down at the tea in the cup, swishing it around a little. When she lifted her head, she was smiling, a real bright thing that sent a chill down Arthur's spine. "It seems as if we've gotten off on the wrong foot, and for that, you have my deepest regrets. It probably doesn't help that you've had your poor little heads filled with all sorts of nonsense that I can't even begin to imagine. Rest assured that stops now. From this point forward, I'll show you that your government cares not only for you, but for all magical beings far and wide. We have your best interests in mind and want nothing more than for you to succeed and lead semi-normal lives."

"Well," V said, "when you put it that way."

"I'm so pleased you agree," Miss Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Mar Marble M said a study in obliviousness. "After all, if a mess has been made, it must be cleaned up before it gets worse. Speaking of," she glanced at S and held out her teacup toward him. "You there, I'm finished with this. Take it away."

"My name is S," he said flatly. "And in this house, we don't tell people to clean up after others. at least not without asking politely."

"He's quite right," Lionus said. "As an inspector, shouldn't you lead by example?"

Arthur could almost see the smoke curling from her ears as she scribbled something else on her clipboard. "Degle teaches responsibility."

"So does self ownership," S said.

"It does," Arthur said, moving to the front of the room, Miss Marblemma glaring daggers at him. "And Sal is correct, not only about taking responsibility for our actions, but also in that he has a name. Interestingly enough, all of the children do. Perhaps an introduction would be beneficial."

"Fine," Miss Marble M said. "A version of her sticky, sweet smile, returning, setting the teacup on the desk. When called upon, I will ask that you provide your name, age, species, and one thing you like about living on the island, and one thing you dislike. I expect complete and total honesty. You will not speak until called upon."

Lionus scowlled at her. "That's not tutt."

She trilled. "I don't believe I called on Mr. Baker. But here he is talking. You do not get a courtesy point."

"Ooh," the children said.

"Species?" Arthur asked, voice hard. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Surely you've studied whatever Dcomi passes off his files these days. Be that as it may," Miss Marblemma said, "It is better if we hear it directly from the subjects to ensure that there are no delusions of what is or what isn't."

"Children, line up in front of me, single file."

No one moved. "That was not a request," she said in a maddeningly cheerful voice. "When I ask you to do something, I expect it to be done without hesitation."

Arthur nodded the children and they rose from their desks as one, forming a line as Miss Marblemma had instructed. Talia was first. She stepped forward. The tip of her cape, her cap flopped over. "My name is Talia. I'm 264 years old. I'm a garden gnome, one of the most talented who has ever existed."

"Being braggadocious is unbecoming of a lady," Miss Marble M said. "We must show humility, especially when in the company of our elders."

Talia frowned. "But you said we needed to be honest. I am one of the most talented garden gnomes. Have you seen my garden?"

"I'm allergic," Miss Marvel Mos said dismissively. "Pollen is the bane of my existence. Onto the rest. One thing you like and one thing you dislike. Quickly."

"I love pollen," Talia said, stroking her beard. "And I dislike anyone who doesn't appreciate growth."

"Growth is important," Miss Marble Mos said, not quite understanding the min minutia of gnomish insults. "It's a reward for learning. Next, please."

Theodore stumbled forward, chirping loudly as he eyed her headcocked. He spread his wings as he continued to chatter. The children, including David, flipped through his translation text, bursting into laughter, and Lionus clapped a hand over his mouth, eyes bulging. Arthur kept his expression carefully blank, though her though he thought these children, these remarkable children. When Theodore finished, having told Miss Marblema Maw that her eyes look like shiny buttons and that he was planning on taking them for his horde. And no, she absolutely was not invited to see his horde, Miss Marblemma appeared bewildered.

"What did it say?"

"He said he's a wyvern," S said that he's not quite sure of his age and that he likes pollen as well and dislikes people who say one thing to try and win people over and then stab them in the back."

"What is that? Does that happen often here?" Said Miss Marble Moff furiously writing on her clipboard.

Theodore chirped again. "Not until today. Nope," S said. "It's hypothetical. I'm Chanty. The boy blob said oozing oozing forward. 10 years young. I seem to be a mixture of octopus, sea cucumber, and probably a bunch of other miracles. But there's something much more important that we should discuss."

Miss Marblem leaned forward, eyes dancing. "Yes, speak plainly, child. You have nothing to worry about because I'm here now. I promise I'll make you safe. Make sure you are safe. I'm speaking, of course, about a financial investment opportunity. He spread his tentacles wide. Imagine me in charge of a 60 room hotel, sitting on the beach, complete with all the amenities your heart could desire. Massages, fine dining, live music, your very own chanty approved robe that you get to keep. But wait, there's more." His eyes widened dramatically. "Your 16 karat diamond necklace was stolen from your hotel room. Have no fear. In addition to being the owner manager in Bellhop, I will also promise my detective services to help solve any mystery. And this can all be yours if you make a monetary commitment that you will see tripled within two years. How much can I put you down for? The more zeros, the bigger the hero."

"Nothing," Miss Marble M said. "I don't believe in encouraging that which can never be. It's cruel."

"Interesting," Arthur said, seeing as how he's already one of the best bellhops in the known universe, he winked at Chanty. "A great man once said, 'Stories of imagination upset those without one. I, for one, can't wait to see the hotel. Find me later and we'll discuss my own financial contribution.'" Everyone ignored Miss Marblemma's pointed harump.

S's turn. He stepped forward, staring at Miss Marble Maw, barely blinking. Opening his mouth to speak, he paused. Suddenly, he smiled, eyes lighting up. It did not take Arthur long to see what S had there, crawling on the collar of Miss Marble Moss coat, a small tan and yellow scorpion. He stepped forward, about to warn her. But Miss Marble Moss spoke first.

"Are you going to talk?" she asked S. "Or just stand there staring at me like you've lost all common sense. I don't have all day."

S arched an eyebrow. "You do though. You have two weeks."

She lowered the clipboard, unaware of the hitchhiker she'd picked up at some point, crawling slowly toward her face, which had taken on a stunned expression that looked practiced. She brought her hand to her throat. "Are you?"

The claw dropped. The hand dropped. "Are you being smart with me?"

S nodded. "Yes, because I am smart."

"Or is it that you just don't know any better?" Miss Marblemma countered. "You are a child, which means you be elabub," Lucy cried happily. "You, what are you doing up there, you silly goose?"

"Sacrilege," Miss Marblemma breathed, then in a much larger louder voice. "Who are you attempting to summon? I knew I should have brought holy water to."

The scorpion's tail reared back, but before it could strike, Miss Marble Moth's hand flashed up. The handkerchief once again clutched in her fist. She covered the scorpion, pulling her hand back as she jerked her head head away. As she held up the handkerchief, Arthur could see tiny tan insect legs twitching. And then Miss Marble Maw closed her fist, crushing the scorpion with an audible crunch. Silence.

"In life," Miss Marble Maw said, turning and walking toward the desk in the front. She tilted her handkerchief over the top of the bin. The scorpion's corpse fell inside. It barely made a sound when it hit the bottom. "I suppose you run the risk of encountering," she glanced at her audience, "local wildlife when you're in when you're this far from civilization. But that's the trade-off, isn't it? All that fresh air."

"That was my scorpion," Lucy said outraged.

Miss Marblemma glanced at him dismissively. "It was your scorpion. Now it's nothing. If you truly cared about it, you would have done whatever you could to ensure its safety. As an an important lesson on how life works onto other matters, you must be Lucifer. He glared up at her, eyes flashing red. "I am I go by another name, too."

Miss Marblema Ma chuckled. "I'm well aware, curious that the scion of the devil can be so small. Why? You barely reach my waist. if you could, child. Same as the others. Age, one thing you like and one thing you dislike."

Lucy rocked back on his heels, smile growing once more. "My body is 7 years old, but the demon inhabiting my soul is much older than that. So, let's say I'm 36. And you know what's weird? I like pollen, too. And I dislike when there isn't just piles of it lying around for us to roll in."

Miss Marblemma bent over until her face was in front of Lucy's. She didn't speak, nor did she blink. For his part, Lucy took a small step back, but didn't look away. Then Miss Marble Moss snapped upright, made a note on her clipboard, and said, "I won't be intimidated by you. I have God on my side."

Lucy groaned. "Oh, you're one of those."

Miss Marblemma ignored him. "Things are going to be different going forward. I will expect you all to be on your best behavior. If for any reason you are incapable of doing that, please let me know so that I may cut my visit short and make my recommendations now. Trust me when I say you will not like the results. Are there any questions without waiting for an answer?" She continued, "Good. How wonderful it is that we all understand one another explicitly."

Lionus recovered first. "Children, I think it's time for your afternoon snack. Why don't we head to the kitchen while Mr. Parnasses shows Miss Marblemma to the gre uh guest house?"

"That will be just fine," Miss Marblemma said. "I do hope the accommodations are in better condition than what I've seen so far."