Transcription
Why didn't you answer my texts?
Yeah, I'm sorry, babe. I, I didn't have my phone on me for a few minutes while I was at Josh's house.
Oh, so your friends are more important to you than I am?
No, of course not. I was just saying, I told you that I'd be over there for a little bit, remember?
So it doesn't even matter to you that I felt ignored and abandoned?
No, of course it does. You know your feelings matter to me.
Well, it doesn't sound like it.
I really am sorry. I care that you felt ignored. That makes sense. I, I don't want you to be upset.
Thank you. And now that you've apologized and validated my feelings, I'm going to take that as an admission of guilt and use it against you in the future.
I'm sorry? What?
Yeah, as the toxic partner in this relationship, I'm not interested in taking accountability for my own feelings or exploring your perspective on the issue.
Why not?
Oh, because my goal isn't connection, it's control. And you just gave me the perfect ammunition to continue devaluing you in this relationship. I mean, you just admitted that you ignore and abandon me.
Well, that's not what happened. That feels like you're twisting my words to support your narrative.
Oh, I see what you're doing. You apologized and said my feelings make sense, so now I'm going to use that in our next argument to paint you as the one who is always hurting me. That way, I can always stay the victim.
That feels extremely manipulative. Why can't I see that you're doing this?
My guess is, somehow it feels familiar to you from your childhood, to walk on eggshells and be the only one to apologize in order for love and connection to not be taken away from you.
Well, that's not good.
It's why it's so difficult for you to set healthy boundaries, because you want to protect me from the same pain and disconnection that you felt as a child. So it feels safer for you to just self-abandon instead of actually be abandoned, even by a toxic person like me.
Honestly, not a fan of whatever this is.
Yeah, it's called abuse.