Transcription
Hi, if you're a dental student currently going through residency or dentist school in the US and you've been dealing with stress and chaos and going through a lot of difficult time trying to understand what the hell you're going through while paying $300,000 of money in the prime of your age, well, this is the right video for you. I wanted to discuss some of the factors that might help you understand the bigger picture of what's going on and how you might be able to deal with some of the stress and get to understand how to work even after dental school.
If you don't know who I am, my name is Adri William. I'm a foreign-trained dentist. I did my BDS in Pakistan. Then I was training to become an oral surgeon. But I quit the residency, moved to the US, did a masters, then went to Colorado, did my two years of advanced training program. And over the past five years, I've been working with other foreign-trained dentists, either going to residency or dental school. And some of the things I've seen as a common pattern when I was a dental student, I saw it in my own life, in my friends, in my colleagues, and then when I look at my students now and when they go into residencies, I see the same pattern happening. And now I feel like I should make a video because I might be able to help somebody out there who is dealing with stress.
First of all, I'll tell you one thing about dental schools and about residencies: it's kind of like a Hunger Games. If you haven't seen the movie Hunger Games, it's kind of like a theory from Batman, the Joker. The Joker says, "Even the best of people, like the most decent and moral people, if you put them in a place which is kind of like a pressure cooker and you heat it up, you will see the bad side or the evil side of people coming out." I feel like in residencies, in dental schools, they make things very competitive on purpose. They give you scarcity of patients. They put you under pressure that you have to do a lot of work in a small amount of time, that it makes it pretty tough on you psychologically, physically. You start to lose sleep. You're always feeling that you're going under stress of impostor syndrome. I'll tell you one thing. If I could go to residencies or dental schools, I would like to start a rehab. When people come out of residencies and dental schools, you've been under so much high cortisol and stress that it takes them at least a year or two to calm down. For me, I think I'm still going through that phase because after coming out of dental school, I jumped right into a very busy practice at a corporate, and I would say I tortured myself because I wanted to pay off my loan. I wanted to show how much of an aggressive and ambitious person I am, and it's been quite a ride. And I have put myself in extreme situations where I went through physical pain, mental pain, past traumas would kick in, and I would still get up every day, work, and I was sleeping like five, six hours, which wasn't even a deep sleep. And I seriously wanted to make this video so maybe you, if you're somebody who's going through this phase, like early on, you could manage it and don't let it build up on you.
One, number one thing I will tell you: the school on purpose creates, and residencies will create an environment on you that you will feel like you're lagging behind and your people around you are doing more patients. They are doing more stuff. They are getting better grades. They got to do more crowns. They get better cases than you. And even though you're trying to prove yourself to your faculty to get good marks from them or get some appreciation, you're not getting it. And then you will feel, "I used to be such a good dentist back home, or a good basketball player, or a good person, and everybody used to appreciate me. And now I feel like a freaking loser every day." And that's how most of us feel. And trust me, the funny thing is, I lost my dad in a road traffic accident in my dental school back in BDS. Then I've been working two different jobs since the age of 18. Came to the US, worked different jobs, did the masters, got to work in a nonprofit, and like I did a lot of stuff even before I started the YouTube channel, before I got into dental school. And when I got into dental school, every day I felt like a freaking loser. And my close friends used to say that you're fighting this system all the time because inherently I knew that I am not that much of a loser the way the system is making me feel. And that's most of the time they do it because it's not that the teachers are bad, it's just the culture of the academic system in dental school and residencies is so...
The solution, I'll tell you, first of all, in the first semester, they will make you do a lot of stuff, a lot of exam work, a lot of schools, and it's really hard to get used to it. One of the things I'll tell you, first of all, you need to start creating a routine. I see people when they start the first semester, all the girls and boys are having a party, like an evening party, or they go out to a bar, and they post pictures and all of those stuff. And when I look at it, it reminds me back of my days. One of the things I'll tell you, ladies and gents coming from different cultures, there are Middle Eastern people, there are Hispanics, there are people from India, Asian countries. Just be careful when you're posting pictures and stuff because what happens over time, they're going to be so much busy that your own family and spouse will say, "Hey, they never reply to my messages, but they have posted pictures with their classmates, maybe they are having parties all the time, but they don't reply to my messages." And it happens. I've seen some real trouble happening where somebody's family member and spouse got really angry at them because most people won't understand. Your family won't understand the hellhole that you go through in dental school in residencies. I've seen people age so badly is because in the two years, the stress overtook them. I've been under stress myself too, and I thank God to those friends who kept me alive. Thank God to this YouTube channel and the candidates who kept me alive. Couple of professors who used to help me out because I was, I went through a mental shitload of time during that time. And I'll tell you, number one, so if you're posting stuff and all of that, keep a coherence between your family life. You won't expect a non-dental person to understand whatever happens in a dental school or residency, but try to communicate with them and let them know, otherwise they will feel like you're drifting away, which you will, because they're not going to understand your life. You're going to be working in labs on Saturday. I used to be in the lab till 10 PM trying to learn crown preps because I sucked at them. But I have to put in those three months of work to be really good at it eventually and pass my exams. But for three months, I was in the lab all the time. That's how my life was. And that's just a very difficult part.
Now, when it comes to number one thing is keeping your spouse or your family or your friends aware a little bit that this is going to be a difficult time, my time is going to be consumed. It doesn't mean I don't like you or I hate you or I'm disappearing from your life because people get insecure. They think you're becoming a dentist and now you're leaving them or disappearing. So that's one of the factors. The other thing is you're going to have a lot of exams and you would have to study a lot of time, things at the same time, which is very difficult. So one of the things, if you're somebody who can work in group study, you can. I was never somebody like that, but if you can find some group partners, study with them. I know a lot of ladies are very good at this. I've seen boys weren't that good at that, but if you could study in groups, start doing that. Talk to your seniors. There's always some patterns, some things they can tell you how further professors take exams, how certain things are done. So you want to talk to them, take guidance if you can. The other thing is, choose your friends very carefully in dental school. Some of your friends are not going to be your friends in the next six, seven months. Some of them are going to be very close friends. So pick the right people because you don't want extra drama in your life. And I've seen in dental school there's a lot of time where there's fighting and there's gossiping and somebody complained on a guy because he's rude, and a lot of weird things happen during that time. And what you want to do is keep yourself away from it as much as you can because there's just extra noise which is not even useful in your life.
The next thing I'm going to tell you, you're going to fail or you're not going to succeed at everything that you're trying to do. It's just how these schools and residencies are made. Sometimes the professor will beat you with a hammer because your notes are not so good. Well, it's fine. It's fine. You're a human. Sometimes your notes are not going to be good. Sometimes some professor won't like you. And it's not just because you're having a hard time. I'll tell you, a lot of faculty are being pressured by schools in different ways, and they are not enjoying their work either. So I had a patient who was very complaining about an anterior filling I did, and she never liked it, and I was very scared from her. And as a guy, I'll tell you, when I was in school back then, I was very careful that I don't want anybody to tell, "Hey, that six-foot guy with a beard, brown-looking guy is very angry or aggressive," which I can come off as. So I was very timid and careful when I was dealing with people because I don't want it to look politically incorrect according to school standards. So those were few of the things that I had to be careful. And even some of the ladies I knew in my school time were very, very straightforward. They weren't rude, they were very straightforward, and the other people didn't like them for being very straightforward. So you have to be very careful in dealing with people because sometimes a small thing, people will take it to their heart, and after six months, they will complain about you. It's a funny thing. Back in Colorado, when I started in 2020, there were COVID restrictions, so we can't do any group gathering. And I never used to be much part of it because I had a few small group of friends I used to usually just sit around with or talk much. But the class ladies did a group party under COVID restriction, but they did not call a few people. And what happened in the next few weeks? Somebody complained to the dean or the school administration or program director that the ISP class is doing a party under the COVID restriction, which was banned at that time. And it was funny for me. I never went to the party, but I saw that just because one person wasn't invited, they went to the professor and emailed and complained about it and got everybody in trouble. And I was like, "Where, where am I?" Like, are they 16 years old? But it happens. I'm not saying people are bad. It's just the feeling in being in school and feeling like you're incompetent because everybody's trying to prove themselves. And especially if you're a lady, I'll tell you one thing. Women tend to be more detail-oriented than men. As a guy, I've been always told that Adriel, you look at the bigger picture. You're not looking at the small, infinite things that are in front of you. And that's how my brain worked because in my head, when I was in dental school, I was just thinking that this is all a business. This is, they, after a few months, I realized it's all a business. This is all a business. They don't, they care for you to a certain point, but they are not heavily invested to make you the universe's best dentist. That's how these programs work. So my job is to get my license and buy my freedom and do the procedures that I like. And you're not going to be good at everything. Don't, I struggle with this. I wanted to be good at endo. I want to be good at perio. I want to be good at surgery. Well, they aren't teaching you anything in ortho and surgery. So how do you expect to be good at everything? And don't try to please everybody. Don't try to master everything. Just start, try to be good from who you were yesterday. Keep that mindset. Keep a daily scheduler. If you haven't kept a scheduler, keep a Google calendar, something like that. Microsoft. You have to keep yourself disciplined.
The other thing I'll tell you from my experience is you're going to go through an emotional roller coaster ride. It's not just dental school. You're an immigrant, you've gone through a lot of crap. Immigration takes a toll on you. You must have past traumas. By the time you're close to 30s, along with that, your diet starts to suck because you're hardly eating. You're always running around. And along with that, I feel it's just a change, the financial aspect, the student loan, the visa stresses, it puts a lot of load on you. What I've learned, one of the things early on, if you can do this in the evening, find a way to switch yourself off. You need to find a way that you could switch yourself off. For me, it was this YouTube, it was some friends, is that I can learn to switch myself off. And dental school shuts down. If I'm failing, if I'm passing, if something is not going ideal, it's fine. I'll figure it out. It's fine. I'll figure it out. And I'll tell you back, if you go to any of my classmates out of those 40 people, 30 people, or I don't know, like 25 people, would say, "Adriel should not be even in dental school. He doesn't act like a dentist. He's not a typical dentist. He acts like an oral surgeon or he doesn't sink in." But to be honest, I think after graduating, I've been doing a good job. I've been doing most of the things that I wanted to do in life. And I've never followed the same path that most people were following. It's not because I'm great. It's just I just believe that God has a different path, and maybe I'm not good at this, maybe I'm not good at that. And a lot of people were far better than me, but I'll find my way. I'll suffer. I'll learn. I'll fall. But I'll get back out there and I'll do something. And that's how the universe works for me and for you. So don't let that bubble sink on you.
And what happens is a lot of time, different ethnicities or nationalities form their cliques, like the Indians will start sitting with Indians and Pakistanis, and then Hispanics separate, and then the Middle Eastern just like to be with people that speak their own language, and they form cliques. Try to avoid that. Like my, I had good friends with a few Indians, and Eduardo was from Venezuela, and then I had some Middle Eastern friends. I kind of liked making friends with the best ones from each group, and then those were my friends. It wasn't about your nationality. It wasn't if you have a positive energy, I'm going to be your friend. I'm going to try my best to make your friend. And some people didn't like it. And if I didn't find friends in my advanced learning, I will make friends in the DDS conventional classes. I'll just go out and talk to them, and there's always people who want to talk to you. And that's just how I kept my head clear because I could feel that this is a game. This is not a practical world. The people who are teaching me, most of them ran away from the practical world. Some of them were old and retired, and now they don't want to be in private practice. And sometimes I've seen professors who were trying to tell me how the practical world works, but the school don't want you to know that. They're like, "Nope, this is restricted. You can't teach them this technique. You can't let them do this procedure. This is more advanced." Well, it's fine. Just teach us this. Nothing bad is going to happen. But they were like, "Nope. Stick to your didactic courses. You have to pass this exam in a short period of time. You have to do lab work. You have to do this." So they cram up a lot of stuff for you to do in a very small time, and they turn up the pressure cooker, and they expect you to do everything. And which we have to do because we want our license. We came, that's what we signed up for. But one of the things that you don't want to lose is your energy. You don't want to lose your energy. You don't want to let the cortisol or the negativity take away your life. Because what I feel is one of the thing that happens is when you're under so much pressure, you form trauma bonds, and you also form trauma hatred towards people. It just happens. So what you want to do during this time is you want to let your nervous system relax. I usually now suggest people, if I knew earlier, I would have started doing yoga earlier. Try to read some books, jog, exercise, walk, because dentistry is a marathon. The way these people made us, dentistry is a very tiresome, long process, and you want to be working hard, like you want to work hard, but you want to do it in increments. If you try to do it in one stretch, which I did, it will take a toll on your health.
The other thing I've seen, I've seen very wonderful, very nice people, like whose souls were very nice, and I saw them getting into residency and dental school, and in one year, two years, I could see they become so much callous and competitive and always trying to prove, "Oh, I've learned how to do an implant. I've learned how to do a bridge. I've learned how." And now when I'm in the practical world, trust me, nobody gives a crap of how difficult procedure you're doing. If you're in a residency and you think you can do a sinus lift or an implant or a molar endo, I'm a business owner. Trust me, we don't give a crap. I don't want to say the f-word, but literally, we don't give that. All we care is, "Okay, if you can do crown preps, do five crown preps, make $6,000 of production, take your money, go home and enjoy." That's the reality of US dentistry. I've put my soul and my physicality into learning implants, sinus lifts. I wanted to do All-on-X, wisdom teeth, sedation, and I went on crazy like a surgeon mindset to achieve all of this. And now when I run a practice, I'm like, "I want to do easy stuff, just make my money, come home, do my YouTube, talk to you guys, and just have a positive energy in life." By the end of the day, you're doing dentistry because you want to make money and do something that you love, enjoying with your family, with your friends, with the society you live with. So that whole competitiveness, if you're in a residency, if you think you're a very badass mofo out there because you can do certain procedures, trust me, it's only fun when you're young. After a while, everything's boring. I went to an oral surgeon once. I was in my D4. I was like discussing with him, "Should I go back into surgery?" He was like, "Why do you want to do it?" I said, "Because I get bored." And he looked at me and he said, "Don't you think we get bored after a while? Everything's boring." So if you think learning that one procedure is fun, do it for the sake of fun. But don't try to use it to tell people how great of a resident you are or how great of a dental student or dentist you are because after a while, nobody's going to care about that. Everybody's going to care how much production you're doing every day and how much money you're making. That's how US capitalism is made. Welcome to the US. So I'm just giving you a broader spectrum is that learn to think out of your dental box as well. Be good at what you're doing, but also know the bigger game as well, what's going on. So that way you're not over-pressured.
One, one other thing I'll tell you, if you're starting dental school, if you're in dental school, if you're in residency, do more education if you want to. If you love endo, if you love oral surgery, you want to go into prostho, do it. But along with dentistry, find some other activity that you love. Do it. You will live longer. You will work longer. Your patients will love you. You need to, dentistry is not a companion that you can love alone. If you just love dentistry, it will take away your life. It will take away your health. It would put so much pressure on you in the practical world that it will break your heart. You need to have something else as well. That's the longevity to deal with this. All the successful, happy dentists I saw are doing something else with dentistry. Maybe they cut down their time when they can from clinical work so they can do something else. But that's the way to have fun and let your patients enjoy as well.
The other thing I'll tell you is when it comes to getting accepted and being in dental school, if you're not doing the best, if you're not culturally fitting in, if you're not super smart, it's fine. Neither was I. I was not fitting in in any way. I will tell you, I wish I, you should thank God that Adriel is not your classmate, you would have hated me because I didn't fit in. Like I had, God will used to send help for me to pass my competencies or like help me with procedures. I would have friends. I would have other people come and assist me. Adriel was known in my, my clinical, in the clinics. It was funny like my classmates would hate me because even when I used to be doing a prophy, I would have two people assisting me, and then there will be ladies who are doing like two crowns and they have no assistant, and they will be like, "Look at Adriel, like he has a whole entourage of people assisting him while he's doing one filling." And I just would ask people, "Hey, can you help me?" And there would be somebody who will show up to help me. And it's not that I am lazy, it's just it was a lot of new stuff for me, and if I need help, I'm going to ask, and if somebody helps me, I'm grateful to them. But the other thing I knew, once I'm out of dental school, and you give me an elevator and have perios, I'm going to show what I'm good at. And that's what I knew even back then, that with all of this going on, when I go back to, when I get to do a little bit of surgery and work hard on it, I'm going to make far more money than any other GP. It's just not because I'm the best surgery-oriented GP, it's just because I know that in the practical world, you make more money when you do something that you love. If sometimes if somebody is not even paying me to pull out a tooth or do a surgery, I will still do it for the sake of fun for it. The only downside for it is your hands get tired after a while when you keep dealing with bone and teeth. And if you have to do a lot of work in African-American population, yes, this, it can be tough. So that's the downside to it. But the other thing I'll tell you is meditate. This is very important. You have to meditate. You have to stay with positive people. You have to believe that you're better than your current state because your current state will tell you that you're shitty. You have impostor syndrome. You're not good enough. And then you have to talk to your inner self. You have to close your eyes and tell yourself. You need to tell yourself that I'm going to be a rockstar. I'm going to be one of the best dentists in the future. I'm going to be doing really good. That's the promise that you have to make to yourself. And do not over worry about the loans. Yes, you can pay it off if your health is fine. If you're under too much stress, you're going to start to break down. You have to be careful with how you spend money, but do not go so cheap that you start to lose your own self. You have to find that balance. I don't know what the balance would be for you at this point of life, but be at a point where you're spending enough to be happy in life as well while not taking too much loans. So there's a balance in life. Except for that, it's kind of like a jail. It's an asylum for the next two years to 28 months. You have to work a lot. Sometimes they will make you do things that doesn't make sense. We all have to go through it. I will just say just stay positive, make friends, build contacts, and understand the bigger system, what they, what's happening, what's going on, because the kind of dentistry you're doing in dental school or even residencies, most of them are not the same in the practical world. It doesn't work that way. So I hope this video helps you, and I wish I hope that you continue to stay to be a positive person. I just, I hate it when I see people joining in corporates or residencies and I see their positivity going away. They become so much driven by cortisol and always in a fight and flight. It's just, it's no fun. Maybe I went through the same crap, that's why. But I wish you all the positive things in the world and all the best, and you will be a successful dentist.