Transcription
Your relationship with yourself, sir. Your relationship with yourself. Matthew 22 and verse 29. Let me show you how much you have hated yourself. Matthew 22 and verse 29. 39. My apologies. 39. 39. 22. 39. Let's do 38 and then we'll do 39 so that it makes sense. 38, 39. Media. Matthew 22, 38, 39. And this is the first and great commandment. Jesus is speaking now. Now, verse 39, he said, the second is like unto it. Read with me, believers. Ready? One to go.
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>> Read the last two words.
>> One more time.
>> Shout it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor.
But he gives you a standard. He says, before you start thinking of loving your neighbor, leave your neighbor and do something with yourself. Because if something goes wrong with that person called yourself, it will affect what happens between you and your neighbor. And if that neighbor is your spouse, if that neighbor is your boss, your neighbor is not just the one close to you. Your neighbor is anyone who can share from your pain, share from your energy. It says, as thyself. Are we together? Many believers do not know that they have a responsibility of learning how to relate with themselves. We are not taught that the health of your relationship with yourself can have an effect on your life, an effect on your purpose, an effect on your destiny. Most times we talk about God, like I so lavishly did, then we jump ourselves and talk about others. Are we together now? Now, at the risk of trying to manage issues that relate to selfishness, self-centeredness, most times we've swung the pendulum to the extreme end. And people have hated themselves. They do not know how they have become the enemies of their own progress. In a bit to manage self-centeredness, in a bit to manage selfishness, many people have been so unfair to themselves. There is someone you need to tell sorry at the end of my teaching tonight. Guess who that person is? Selfish people will like what I'm saying immediately. Don't mistake what I'm saying. Some of you don't need to tell yourself sorry, it's God. You need to tell sorry. Say amen.
>> Your relationship with yourself. This defines working on your esteem. This defines working on what we call self-love. If you hate yourself, don't blame anybody for joining you in that agenda. Don't blame people for hating what you already hate. Are we together now? There are spouses saying, "You don't like me, but do you like yourself?" There are individuals saying, "People don't like me, but do you like yourself?" They modeled after your hatred for yourself. You are only receiving a harvest of a seed you already planted. How about you're contending for growth and improvement? These are all the elements that demonstrate in experience that you love yourself or you hate yourself. Please look up. Most believers do not know, with all due respect, that as an African, do you know the average African, by default, by default, already comes from a foundation that is played with low self-esteem? Are we together? All kinds of emotional damages, and most believers do not know how wounded, how hurt they are. With all due respect, some may have been hurt as a result of their backgrounds, the kinds of parents that raised them, or the absence of the parents that raised them. Are we together? Some because of the nasty experiences that happened in their past. Maybe some experience they may not want to talk about. Others now, the school system now collected the baton from poor parenthood and continued the journey. Individuals who bullied you in school, told you you have big head, told you you are this, told you you are that, you are an ugly lady. You didn't think that thing was, is, is a programming. They were writing something. By the time you became a teenager, you became aware of yourself. Those things started pushing you into a lifestyle that was unnecessary because some ignorant guy called you an ugly lady. You thought it did not matter. But now you look at the risk you have placed on your life because you are trying to manage and change that narrative. How about gentlemen? That's the major sponsor of joining occult groups, joining all kinds of, you know, platforms that we have today that are self-destructive.
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Loving yourself. Many, many believers are plagued in church with low self-esteem, justifiably so, maybe because of the background, but they are not taught that you can be free from it. Like you heard me say, many will find themselves aggressive, hurting innocent people, and if you ask them what is wrong, they can't give language to what is wrong. What is wrong has a history they have not studied. They don't know why they easily hate people. They don't know why they cannot have two weak, structured friendship. They must say something. They must be angry. Something in them rejoices when someone is crying. They are not necessarily evil. They are wounded people. They find consolation in the pain of one because it seems to give a picture that we are all the same. They hate exceptional people. They hate prosperous people. They hate people doing well. They hate people rejoicing. Something within them. Who is learning? Loving yourself. Amazing how many people you have blamed for something you should take responsibility about. I, I'm praying that God does not tempt me to digress because what I want to say has to do with the issue of marriage. You know, I don't talk so much about marriage. Not because I don't have what to say. My epistle is coming. Oh, I have something to say. I certainly have something to say.
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But allow me steal from my file and teach you something tonight. Do you know, ladies and gentlemen, I think it was in one of the weddings of one of our people. I was saying this, um, marriage was not supposed to solve all your emotional problems. Please listen to me. There are many people who came into marriage because they failed in every other relationship and they now decided to chain marriage and blame it. So they take the satisfaction that should come from knowing Jesus. The emptiness that comes from not knowing Jesus, they blame it on marriage. The emptiness that comes from not living a purposeful life, they blame it on marriage. The emptiness that comes from not understanding human relation skills, they blame it on marriage. Marriage in today's world is carrying a load beyond its original allocation. Is the reason why marriages are failing. The load that is being put on marriage was not designed that way. Everybody fails and blames the spouse, blames everybody. The man has always wanted to to be like a champion. He's always wanted people to hear to call him, "Yes, sir." And because he failed in being productive, he's not employed. He's not anything. And the scapegoat he finds is his wife. And he transfers the aggression that he would have gotten and blames it on the poor girl. Are we together? Don't say yes. Listen. How about the ladies? They carry their baggages of low self-esteem and and all those kinds of things and bring it into, you know, and after 10, 20 years, they look at the man and say, "Do you know from the day we got married, I've never been happy?" And the man is shocked. You laughed when I took you for vacation. You laughed where you said all kinds of things during your birthday that I'm the best thing. What changed? And you said, "From the drama, drama."
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Do you know why? Please look at me. There is a level of emotional satisfaction only knowing and loving Jesus can give you. There is a level of emotional satisfaction only discovering purpose can give you. There is a level of emotional satisfaction only relating with family members can give you. Not your wife, not your husband. There is a level of emotional satisfaction only being gainfully deployed, if not employed, can give you. If you are not gainfully employed, you can be gainfully deployed. Productivity controls that kind of passion and that satisfaction. There is a kind of emotional satisfaction only being a giver can give you. Now, if you failed in all these areas, then you decide to, I don't know, if it's to reward now or punish yourself by getting married, and then you now blame your spouse is the reason why nothing for such a person, nothing the spouse does will ever be enough. And you're wondering, the man disappears for 3 hours, you are crying. Is it that you don't want this marriage again? The man says, "I'm busy." What is all this? The time you are using to cry, you should have been using to do something with your life. And because you are not doing anything with your life, you transfer your emotional luggages.
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Okay, let me return it back. Let me return it back. Let me return it back. Zip it quietly. The Bible says right, there's a time for the vision to speak. But have you learned something? So while you get angry, there are people like that. They call everybody getting angry. What is wrong with our relationship? Huh? You are not, you are not being serious again. You are not, is it that you are not my friend again? The person says, "I'm busy." We were classmates in primary school. I'm now a senior executive. It's not pride. I am busy. Since you did not grow that potential, difference is too low. I don't hate you, but how do I now start bending backwards? People don't go. It's not a lie. Let me teach you something. Let me teach you something. And and I'm not being sarcastic. There are many people who were so unfair to themselves. When everybody within their circle was growing, they were assuming relationships will remain like that. And now everybody has gone too far. It is a risk relating with them because everything you know is too classified. Their level of growth makes it a risk relating with them. It's not pride. It's the truth. If you sit with them, you can't discuss anything. They are still talking petty, childish gossip things. You are talking about transcontinental impact. What do you now discuss with them? They have refused to grow. Do you know that can happen between a spouse?
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The level 10 version of a husband is not looking for a level one version of the wife. They all started from level one. But the man, you see, that's why every man must invest in growing his wife. Don't say she should grow. You love her enough. That's what you told her parents before taking her. So, invest in growing her so that as you rise, her growth is matching your level of growth. These are easy ways. Listen, this is true. The church may not have the courage to say this, but let me tell you the truth. This thing is not all spiritual. There is psychology to this thing. Are we together now? Don't get to a point where your wife becomes an interruption to a conversation because there's absolutely nothing she can contribute. And it's not her fault. It's not her fault you didn't invest in growing her. By the way, I hope you know that it's not because she should grow that you love her. That is not a love thing. That's an it's an efficiency thing I'm talking about. Love should be at any level. Provided you marry her, stay there. Are we together? Don't say, "If you grow, I will love you more." Then you never loved. True love does not have a reason. How did I get here? How did I get here? How did I get here? How did I get here? I repent. I repent with sackcloth and ashes. I repent, but I'll still do it again. Don't forgive me, tolerate me. Are we learning? This also happens in organizations. The set man, the CEO grows alone, and all the people who are around don't grow. A time will come when you will not be in touch with the people under you. Listen, if you're a senior executive here, let me teach you. You are as fortified as the growth of those under you, not your growth alone. If those under you do not grow, they will become a nuisance to you, and they will hate the fact that you are not investing in their growth. Don't travel and go for the training alone and leave the people there. You are at level 20. They at level one. No growth, no increase. You see that now? They will feel used, and they will revolt. This is what happens to leaders everywhere. This is the same principle even in family. The man is dressing exceptionally well, designers, and you look at his wife, and it looks as if they just released her from jail. You look at the children. You see that kind of thing. And he doesn't care. He's driving his car. The wife and the children are trekking. And it's the same church they are all going to. Even if they are fighting, ah, I hope you are not doing that. So this one is my jurisdiction. Stop it fast. If you are doing that, if for any reason you are still counseling, if there's a marital problem, but don't treat your wife that way. And then sometimes it's the women that treat the men that way. Don't treat the men too that way. There are women who beat men. Hallelujah. Back to my teaching. Relationship with yourself. I hope I've not lost you. That's where we digressed from. So we are back to our true north, relationship with yourself. Everybody say, "I love myself."
>> I love myself.
>> For many of you, you don't believe it, but just, just take it gradually. You, it will, it will work. Say, "I love myself."
>> I love myself.
>> Self-love. Those who are selfish think they love themselves. No. They using their self to hide from a healing. Are we together? So they love. It doesn't matter what is in it for me. If this is your mindset, you will be a loser in life because life rewards givers, not takers. However, you need to know when it is enough. There are people who will carry their whole life savings, not by prophetic instruction, give to everybody because they are trying to defend their name, and then be looking for the school fees of children. I love Jesus. I love you, my dear people. But I love myself. That's why I won't hang myself. That's why if I'm tired, I will sleep. If you are calling me and I'm sleeping, forgive me. If I wake up, I will call you back. It's an emergency. Call the police. That's why I'm not alone. There are law enforcement agents. There's military. There's police. And don't think you will blackmail me into thinking, "Apostle, God sent you to us." Who told you I'm not effective in my work? No. Let me advise preachers. Don't let members love members with all your heart, but don't get into that. Don't let people blackmail you with all those things. They will finish their plan, finish their activity, be at peace with their family, then come and wreck your own life. Blackmailing you and say, "You were sent to us." The one who sent me to you told me what I should do and told me what he will do. I won't do his work. Just because I'm praying for you does not mean you should not pray. Pray while I pray for you. Hallelujah.
>> Do you know many years ago, true story and true confession, many years ago, I didn't used to, I, I fought collecting seeds from people. People want to bless me with seeds. And I guess it was because of the way pastors were manipulating people. I really felt bad. I didn't want something that someone will give me a seed and then it will look like you, I'm twisting them. But one day God rebuked me. He said, "Others received your seeds for you to be able to rise. If you keep rejecting the seeds of God's people, you will keep them down. If you are confident that you are not manipulating them, receive it with gratitude. It's both a seed of honor and is part of the principles that connect them to their next level." Hallelujah. There are many people who damage themselves with all kinds of products that destroy your health. It is because you don't love yourself. You've not seen that you are part of the factors that count in making God's program happen. Listen to me, beloved brother and sister. There is nobody on earth who is like you. This is not motivation. It is the truth. Many may try to be like you, but there is none like you. You have to treasure yourself. You are God's gift to the world. Just because you've not manifested yet. Are we together? You don't need to join some gang. You don't need to join some online club that destroys your life because of belonging. Make reference to my teaching, "What Seekest Thou?" In that teaching, I taught you how that there are six psychological needs of every man. In case you've forgotten, let me remind you very quickly. Number one, the need for security. Number two, the need for newness or variety. Number three, the need for significance. Number four, the need for love, connection, and acceptance. Number five, the need for growth. Number six, the need for impact and contribution.
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These are the six psychological needs of every man, including the one talking to you. Meaning, behind the things that men do, behind those clubs people join, behind the lies they tell, behind the fake life they live, behind all of those things are these six psychological desires. Let me repeat it again one last time for your learning. The need for security, the need for newness of variety. Are we together? The need for significance, the need for love, connection, and acceptance. That's the reason why if an ungodly guy is the first person to tell the lady, "I love you." Because she did not hear her father tell her. She did not hear the mother tell her. Are we together? The first person who told her, "I love you," is some rough, ill-trained guy. She does not like the guy, but she cannot deny the energy that came from that word. And so it delves them into a distorted life even as young children. The need for love, acceptance, and connection. Then the need for growth. Growth and contribution is the reason why we celebrate special moments, graduations, anniversaries, awards. We take them as a big deal because it's an attempt to show the world that we are growing. We're making wise intellectual investments, you know, of our lives and our time. And then, of course, impact and contribution. Do you know when people send me text messages and say, "Apostle, you know, this and that." I'm happy. But the greatest, you know, ones are the ones that have to speak about the things that they believe God has used me to do in their lives. "Apostle, I listen to this message. It's changed my life. It's changed my company. It's changed my church." And then I'm humbled because it's a psychological need. Are we learning? Say, "I love myself."
I love myself.
>> Do you love yourself enough to work on your self-esteem and stop bleeding on innocent people? Stop wounding people out of your pain. Are we together now? You are not the only one who came from a poor background. While I sympathize with the reality of your condition, you need to grow out of it. Grow out of it. There are people today, it's a risk coming around them. The energy around their life is so pungent. There is a pile of pain like arrows waiting for anybody, including those they love. They wound those they love and keep feeling bad. When you ask them what is wrong, they will isolate issues and discuss it. It's not the issues, it is who you are. By the time everybody is complaining about you, the problem is not them. The problem is you.
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Who is learning?
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You must love yourself. I thought I love myself until God began to train me on this. While not to be selfish, but to be grateful for who you are. Do you know when I thank God as I pray, I don't thank God because of what he's done in my life today. Sincerely. This song he's playing came from that ex, not experiment, that program with God. My best Lord is everything I have. My best Lord, I give all I have to you. Listen, you made me great. You made me special. You made me great. I give all I have to you. You made me great. You made me special. You made me great. I give all I have to you.
>> One more time. Say, you made me great. You made me special. You made me great. I give all I have to you.
>> Do you know? Let me tell you. When I wrote this song and when God began to work on me, what I'm teaching you now, the world did not know Joshua Selman. The world will only love who you have first loved. Jesus loves you, and then you love yourself. When the world sees the way you love yourself enough to work on your esteem, see yourself enough to love yourself enough to develop yourself enough to mold out of the old version of you, they will respond by loving you. Don't hate yourself and blame others for hating you. They hate what was already hated. Hallelujah. I love myself. Don't admire people at the detriment of yourself. I wish I was as fine as that guy. I wish I was as fine as that lady. I wish I was taller, shorter, bigger. Unfortunately, if it will not happen, we teach people in the school of ministry that there are things you can change. Change it. Like an ignorant person can become a knowledgeable person. Change it. There are things you can't change, but you can adjust. But there are things you can't do anything about. Accept it with grace while focusing on the many advantages that you have. You think you are not fine enough. Cover up that that physical gap with such a rich display of virtue. Virtue makes people beautiful from inside.
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Don't, don't, don't buy into the deception that our today's world markets a foolish person in a good body. They call the person exceptional, and you buy into that kind of thing. How many demons have been trapped in human bodies? Promoted, listen, listen, promoted to levels that they were not supposed to go only because the only parameter was physical things. You think if Satan appears to you, you see an ugly person? Hallelujah. Please love yourself. Lay your hand on on your chest and begin to pray and say, "Lord, help me to love myself in a way that is void of selfishness, but in a way that is healthy enough to produce a weakness out of me. In a way that is healthy enough to produce an inspiration out of me. In a way that is healthy enough." Come on now. Are you praying? You're not wasting your time. I'm staying here because I want to teach you. Little foxes, you must love yourself. If not, you can't believe in yourself. Someone pray. You've been fighting a battle of low self-esteem. Let me tell you the truth. You are not alone. Many people living false lives have their internal war. Don't fake yours. Win an actual victory.
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You made me great. Give all I have to you. Hallelujah. Praise the name of the Lord. Do you know there are multi-billion industries today that were built on falsehood? Falsehood has become a product, and businesses have been built around it. Hallelujah. Everybody goes to toilet. Everybody eats. Everybody sleeps. Are we together? Now, when you find people who are exceptional, and don't get me wrong, my God, there are some people with levels of godlike efficiency, it is because they've worked on themselves. When you hear the person speak in such an exceptional way, he was not born that way. When you see the person so healthy and strong, they were not born that way. They took responsibility over their lives. Don't hate yourself. If you hate yourself, you will hate everybody around you. You will spill your hatred to other people. This is solving a lot of problems. Now, for someone immediately after this, you need to go back to God in prayer and say, "Father, what is wrong with me? This, this bitterness, this hatred, this behavior, why am I like this? Why can't I have joy? Why do I see other successful? Why is it that when I see a, a very nice car, or I see a young person who is doing well, what is that negative energy that rises from me? Help me, I don't want to live like this." There are preachers like that. Once you see a man of God doing well, anointed, God, immediately you try to look for something wrong. There are people today waiting for preachers to go down, waiting for wealthy people to go down so that they can say, "I said it." They are not that exceptional. I'm telling you, it's a wound in the heart, and Jesus can bring that healing for you. Who is learning now? He can come with that balm in Gilead. When you are healed, you will be an instrument of healing to others. When you see successful people, you can celebrate them genuinely. When you see a man of God doing well, when someone comes to testify, you don't say, "Oh, this person has come again." You were given the same prayer point. The way you prayed your own is only you and God that knows. The person prayed with all their heart and got a testimony. We live in a world that is so negative, so angry. I'm telling you, you hear that someone is getting married, you are angry. You hear that someone has gotten a child. Ah, someone got a land for ministry, you are angry. God is lifting this man of God, you are angry. Most of those things, I'm telling you, regardless the issues, people hide behind issues to sell and breathe out their hatred about themselves.
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The prayer to walk upon your heart is a powerful prayer. Friends have been torn apart because of these things. Great people, family members have been torn apart because of this thing. Blood brothers, blood siblings have carried themselves to court because of this thing.