Yes, Christianity Is Absurd (And It's True)

[music] >> Today, I want to talk about some of the biggest realizations in my spiritual journey. I was raised with no religion. I was raised in a secular household, and I became an atheist because it was really popular online with new atheism, the amazing atheist. And I think everyone goes down this route in some way or another. And I think at the end, what it leads to is Christ. And I want to explain why. And there's some big realizations I want to explain in my journey. First, understanding that evil is real. Then understanding that God is real. Then understanding the purpose of Christian worship, why we go to church, is not just a social club, but it's the Eucharist, is communion with God. Moralism is not the gospel. Christianity isn't about being an outwardly good person. It's about holiness and theosis. And rationalism has limits. Being rational isn't everything. Because it's a gift but not everything can be reduced to just a logical argument.

And so how this plays out in a lot of people's life is we rather whether we are raised with a religion or not, we start out innocent and naive. Looking at the world with rose-colored glasses and just being very idealistic about the world and about human nature and about the future, especially in America, especially the time, you know, I grew up in a lot of us are in, you know, middle middle class households growing up in the 2000s. Maybe individual stories where they had some immense suffering, but I think for a lot of us and for me personally, I was very innocent and naive.

Then you start to question things. And this can deconstruct what we've been taught. And some people they deconstruct their faith. They start questioning things and then they start questioning so much and learning so much that they start to become agnostic, that they start to doubt. They question and they're not sure. They deconstruct but they don't construct anything. And so they're they're left in this stage of agnosticism. And then it's like the Dunning-Kruger effect. You become a confident atheist where you deny. You say there is no God. I certainly know that there is no God. But then once that high breaks down, you start to realize what this leads to. The consequences of atheism is nihilism. If there is no God, then then there is no meaning for meaning. Everything is random and evolving in this universe. Why would my life matter? Why would anything that I do matter? It wouldn't. So it leads to nihilism. Nothing in life matters, which is despair, depression. And it's not just moral nihilism, but also epistemic nihilism. Ultimately, there's no meaning for anything. And that's really hard for a lot of people and a lot of Gen Z people are stuck in this of nihilism.

But then there's absurdism. Absurdism that life is absurd. Oh, we live on this, you know, spinning globe in the middle of a meaningless galaxy among all these stars. His life is weird. It's absurd. It doesn't make sense. But trying to paint it in rose-colored glasses, it tries to live with this. It tries to live with the consequences of atheism. And I think a lot of Gen Z are stuck in this place of absurdism. And it makes sense why Gen Z is so ironic and sarcastic because these are coping mechanisms. Absurdism says life has no objective meaning. So humor becomes a way to endure meaninglessness rather than answer it. Everyone jokes and they hide under it. They hide under irony. But really that thirst for truth is still there. That why we started asking questions in the first place. We were looking for truths and we question things and there's a lot of right things in questioning. But ultimately, are you constructing anything? Is most people, if you think of it like the the seven stages of grief of shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, acceptance, this maps onto this process. Is people, a lot of people in Gen Z, they end up with acceptance and they accept the absurdity. I mean, that's why Gen Z memes make no sense. Is the only thing that's funny about them is that it makes no sense. It's the fact that it's meaningless and absurd that makes it funny. Is that this perfectly explains Gen Z. But the reality is is that what is the answer to absurdism? You can't build a society on absurdism. Absurdism doesn't give you a way to live. It may give you an emotional high. May help you cope a little bit, but it doesn't answer the fundamental questions.

And the answer to absurdism is the most absurd religion. It is Christianity. It is Christianity. And just because something is absurd or paradoxical does not mean it's not true. That's the difference. Is that Christianity is absurd because it flips every worldly thing that we are told on its head. Christ fulfills this search by revealing that meaning is not just an idea, but it's a person. It's someone that we encounter. We encounter Christ. He doesn't give us an ideology. Doesn't give us a way of thinking. He gives us the cross, the path to salvation that he himself bore. The cross is the ultimate paradox. The all-powerful God becoming a helpless infant, becoming man, fully man. The immortal one dies. The king wears a crown of thorns. The creator is crucified by his own creation. Defeat becomes victory. Because what was the cross? The cross was a symbol of death, suffering, torture. It was a Roman torture device. By worldly standards, Christ was not successful. He preached a message for 3 years and then he was crucified and all his followers died. But in Christianity, defeat itself becomes victory. Your martyrdom, your crucifixion becomes victory. And Christ leads by example. God becomes the example. Death becomes life. It's that God doesn't get rid of death by just eliminating it. It's that we overcome death by resurrection. That's what Christianity is about. Christianity isn't some psychological moralistic thing. It's about death and resurrection. That's what it's all about. And Christ, God, gives us that. He gives us a relationship. He gives us a path to life. Which is through death. Which is accepting our death. And our suffering becomes a path to salvation. Shame becomes glory. Suffering becomes the way of salvation. Everything that Jesus taught flips worldly logic on its head. Saying that if you lose your life, you will save it. And if you desire to save your life, you will lose it. Because if you lose your life for the sake of Christ, you're going to gain it. You're going to gain salvation. To find true life, you need to die to yourself. You need to die to your ego, to your pride, to all these sins. That's the only way you're going to find true life. The opposite of worldly logic. Put yourself last. Put everyone before you first. Love your neighbor as yourself. Pray for those, love those who even persecute you. Those who want to become first shall be last and the last shall be first. Humble yourself and you will be exalted instead of exalting yourself. Serve others to become the greatest. Give up your wealth and you're going to be the most rich man. If you give up your wealth, you know, we have this problem with all these billionaires who have all this money. Really, a billionaire in itself is not a problem. The problem is we need moral billionaires that actually The reason they are given that much wealth, they are given that power is to help others. They are judged harsher than others because they have been given more. And so, the wealthy have the greatest responsibility to help society. And this is what billionaires used to do in medieval times and other times in American history is they would invest in the people. Is that being wealthy is a huge responsibility. And that's why you have to give it all up. You have to give up everything to gain the treasure in heaven. This is what Jesus said to the rich man. We all have wealth in some ways. It's not about the amount you give, it's about your heart. It's about your heart. Is that when the widow comes up to Jesus and she gives him very little, but it's her everything. And that's that's what it is. Commitment to God, commitment to love of neighbor. The meek shall inherit the earth. To be persecuted, you will receive great reward. Love your enemies, you become the children of God. Forgive endlessly, you will be forgiven by God. Turn the other cheek, overcome evil with good. Given freely, you receive abundantly. Take up your cross and you will find resurrection and life. Is that's the answer to absurdism is the cross. This is the only answer. This is the only way forward is the cross.

And for my personal journey, there was some absolutely key points. Like I said, wasn't raised with a religion. And I've started to see that evil is real around 2016 and my finishing up high school and seeing that evil is real in the world. There are people who with real hatred. There are really destructive behaviors like drugs and alcohol and hookup culture that really destroy your soul, that destroy your heart. As I saw this, these things, you know, I was engaging and it was destroying the very nature of who I knew that I should be, but I didn't have a framework. I didn't have a way of understanding this. Understanding that sin is not just psychological or social construct, that there is a genuine spiritual evil. And recognizing that it changed how I understood the human condition. When you understand evil as actually a force, when you understand that people can be energized by evil spirits and seeing a continuity of that, that is a big red pill is waking up to the evil in the world. Because if there is evil, there's also good. Realizing that that it isn't just this, you know, naive way of understanding the world, that good and evil are real, and am I going to be on the side of good, and who is on the side of good? And I saw that Christians were on the side of good because we all have the law written on our heart is that even some an atheist like me, I could see that there was real evil and there was real good. And Christianity gave me the context, the epistemology, the worldview to understand good and evil. And I saw the good fruits of Christianity that it helped people individually and on a societal level. And so that's why I started going to church. And it was hard to learn how to pray and all these things.

But the next big realization was that God is actually real and that he cares about me. And the way it works is a lot of things in life is fake it till you make it. That isn't always hypocrisy. Sometimes faith begins by practicing what is true before your heart fully catches up. Prayer, repentance, and worship can shape the soul after time. And so praying daily, asking to God for faith, because the the language of God is silence.

[music] Is everything in the world is so loud and a distraction. We have to be silent. We have to be paying attention to notice God. Is it's interesting as God is so obvious, but there's also a hiddenness to God. And this realization for me, when I, you know, kept faking it till you make it, and then one day it was like, I'm a Christian. I really believe in God. I I don't just think about God or believe in God. I I know God. I've I've I've experienced God, encountering him as a person through prayer. Faith becomes more than an intellectual idea and it's not just a concept to analyze, but a living person who acts in the world. This is the next big realization out of atheism and going to church and coming to the realization that it's not just something I'm doing that this is actually real, this has consequences. I know good and evil is real and God is real and God is personally interested in me and everyone. This makes everything that I do in my life have immense meaning. Now there are real consequences to choosing good versus evil, a personal God and if I continue in sin then I am separating myself from him. I'm separating myself from him and his love and even if I had his love, it would feel like fire, it would feel awful. This was a huge realization that God is real and the necessity of sharing this, sharing this good news that we have a personal God who's actually personally interested in us.

The next big realization in my journey as a Christian is understanding the point of Christian worship, that the Eucharist is real. The Eucharist is not merely symbolic, but a true participation in Christ making worship the center of Christian life. Is that's the point of church. Church isn't just a social club. We are going to church to receive the Eucharist, to receive the body and blood of Christ and to have him dwelling in us. To He is the medicine of life. He is a medicine of life, the deified body and blood of Christ and this is how we participate in him. Is that Once I understood the real presence in the Eucharist, I'm like, "Church makes sense now." This makes sense. Why I go to confession so I can properly be prepared for the Eucharist. It was It was mind-blowing. Is this Church makes sense now. Church isn't just a social club, but the point of it is to receive the Eucharist, to be united with God.

The next biggest change was entering the Orthodox Church and even when I was received in the Orthodox Church, it wasn't like I'm instantly fully Orthodox. There was still so much to learn because Orthodoxy is a life to live. And so the more and more I went to liturgy and was reading the saints, listening to, you know, fathers online and really learning the the heart of the gospel and reading the Bible stories about Jesus and reading about saints, being watchful of my sins in my own heart, going to confession regularly, going to divine liturgy and receiving the Eucharist. God's grace is essential in this process. And then specifically learning about holy foolishness and the holy fools. Once I understood the holy fools, I think I really understood the heart of Christianity and it goes into these last two realizations that moralism is not the gospel. Christianity is not simply about being a good person or following rules. It is about union with Christ, theosis, repentance, grace, and transformation. Is that that is so key is do not have the deception that you are a good person or justify yourself because you have good intentions. Rules and virtues are the fruit of union with Christ, not the goal. And I me coming from atheist background, I came to Christianity for very moralistic reasons. I'm like, "Oh, I like the outward things of Christianity." But Christianity is all about the internal change of the heart. Christ came to heal human nature, not merely just improve our behavior. As some people can can treat Christianity just as like a self-improvement guide. But Christianity is so much more. Repentance is a continual transformation, not just guilt or trying harder. Grace really changes who we are, not just what we do. The goal is holiness through participation in God's life. And the holy fool destroys both Western rationalism more and moralism because they did it destroys all expectations of what a Christian looks like. The holy fool did many things that were outwardly foolish or uh absurd or even offensive, but they called others to a greater repentance. They basically showed the judgmentalism in others, even though they had a very intense ascetical struggle, spiritual life, and they were very holy people. So, this is so key is once you understand the holy fool, you realize not to judge other people because you have no idea how holy they are. That you see the sinner in yourself, and you see the good in others because by God's grace they've done something good in their life. It's seeing the good, being the bee not the fly. The bee focuses on the sweetness, the good things. The The fly focuses on everything bad. Is moralism is a false Christianity. It's not Christianity. This is why Jesus was so hard against the Pharisees cuz they were very moralistic. Like, "Oh, I fast. I tithe. I do all these outward things." But Christianity, again, is not about being a good person. It's about holiness, union with God. And, you know, from those fruits, you will probably do good things. But again, the whole point of Christianity is the healing of soul and body.

The holy fool also exposes Western rationalism. It destroys rationalism cuz the holy fool the gospel the rationality of the world. It's not the logic of the world. It puts it on its head. Reason is a gift from God. It's not that we're anti-reason, but not everything can be reduced to a logical argument. I used to have this view that if Oh, you just, you know, you can argue someone into the truth. That's a very big lie, and it's prideful. We can't. Man's problem is not a logical problem. It's spiritual problem. Demons, when you're facing demons and they're saying all these things in your head, it doesn't make sense to argue with them. Don't argue with demons. That's how you lose. Don't wrestle with pigs. They're going to like it, and you're going to get dirty. Is that's a key point. Is understanding that that human reason is finite. God is infinite. Not everything needs to be rationally explained to the to the human mind. Some things are beyond human rationality or they have a deeper truth that can be revealed from time. Not everything can be reduced to its logical proofs. Is this is a paradigm shift. All of these are paradigm shifts for me. And getting out of the modern worldview and getting back to the ancient worldview, the worldview that the apostles and church fathers actually believed. Some realities must be experienced, not merely explained. That's the key difference in Orthodoxy is we are mystical. There's a mystical reality to the church. And Orthodoxy ultimately has to be experienced. You have to go to church. Just like Christ has to be experienced. Come and see. Is that you know, there's logical arguments for all of these, but ultimately you can know the logical arguments for God. You can know the logical arguments for all this, but until you experience it, you can't really know it. That's why in Orthodoxy there's only three saints with the title of a theologian. Not because they or they speculated, but because they experienced God and they knew God. The mysteries of the Trinity, the incarnation, and the Eucharist transcend our human comprehension. Faith seeks understanding, but worship and encounter complete what reason alone cannot. And these have been the most important because I had such a moralistic idea of oh, you know, everyone needs to act this way and I I it made me very judgmental and like a Pharisee. I had the mindset of a Pharisee is I knew all of these things, but I was like a Pharisee. I was very judgmental and I judged people on outward things. And I thought oh, I can explain everything rationally. But then when the holy fool smashes that and shows the heart of Christianity, the heart of what Jesus taught. If Jesus was around nowadays, they would want to put him in an insane asylum. Not, you know, this very clean, moralistic, you know, like Calvin, scholastic idea of Christianity that everything fits into these nice boxes and it's clean is false. Is that they would put Jesus in an insane asylum. Versus Orthodoxy, we would receive Jesus because we're living that spirit. We're living the spirit, the Holy Spirit. The goal is communion, not merely information. And this is what Orthodoxy shows is we are called to be transformed. And this is why the only pass forward is the cross. Cuz whether you accept your cross or not, your suffering is there. People can find you know, life is full of suffering. And a lot of us, we have an innocent and naive upbringing growing up in America in a certain time. We look at these previous generations and we compare it and we're like, "Oh, this isn't fair." You know, bad things happen. But the thing is is that every age, we live in the age of Antichrist. Every age, our wars, our plagues, all famines, all these things that happen, they're nothing new. Because the point is is that humans were not meant for this world. We were meant for communion with God. Is this world, the world that we seek in our heart is what God made for us. That's what we desire. That's what we desire. We were made for communion with God.

An Orthodox saint who experienced this is Seraphim Rose, and I highly recommend reading his life. I've been reading his life and it's absolutely amazing. Is he was raised in a, you know, naive Methodist Protestant home. He eventually deconstructed that, embraced Nietzsche, then embraced Alan Watts for their criticisms of the West and Western Christianity. But then it was actually a Chinese philosopher, a a Taoist teacher, that helped him get back to the ancient worldview. And it was also Guénon, a philosopher, who made him less antagonistic towards Christianity. Ultimately, these steps in his life led him to Orthodoxy. But in his biography, it says, "When conversion does take place, the process of revelation occurs in a very simple way. A person is in need. He suffers. And then somehow the other world open up. The more you are in suffering and difficulties are the more desperate for God, the more he is going to come to your aid, reveal who he is, and show you the way to get out. Is that suffering reveals that we are finite, that we need the infinite, we need God's help. Once one has risen to the level of doubting, two paths open up to him, the path of questioning, of doubting, of trying to understand until one ends up doubting everything, destroyed by doubt or or else giving oneself over to some false science that explains explains away irreconcilable paradoxes of our existence, or the path of acceptance and prayer. Even the doubt without convincing more that one's experience gives one legitimately to doubt. Praying to be given yet more to try and test us. Crying for more life, more to accept and weep over. Accepting and praying in the midst of doubt, knowing that the way of doubt has as many pitfalls as a way of easy acceptance. For everyone who rationalizes away suffering of living, the hedonist, the philosophers, those who simply don't care, there is at least one who falls into the pitfalls of doubt, who drives himself to doubt more than he really existentially doubts, who explains away the other side of the paradox of human life. The real goodness, the penitence and very pity that drives him to doubt in the first place. As cheaply as the false comforters whom he hates explain away the suffering in sin and evil. For we have entered the time of the last doubt, the final and greatest of all, the doubt of everything, the denial of all coherence, the abandonment of the attempt to make sense of the world and human life. But the man of the last doubt in the end falls into the same pit as the false comforters, those who explain away the suffering, for both have thought too much, have tried too much to make sense, to explain life. The one explains it too easily, and other finds the lack of explanation perhaps too easy. But both trust the mind, but think that life should make sense, should be explained, and that if I a normal questioning man or cannot make sense of it, then it is needful. Oh, proud and vain man, you make no sense, no real sense of life until you have lived it far more deeply than mere doubt reveals. You have gone deeper, it is true. The false comforters. You have refused to be satisfied with the obvious hypocrisy that shields us from the intolerable suffering of our fellow men. But you too in your turn have stopped, stopped at the very threshold of the mystery of life. You are at a standstill because you have approached the mystery of existence with the mind, with questions and demands for explanation, whereas it can only be approached through prostration, humility, prayer, and acceptance. Accept all, take it all in yourself, all that is given to you. If you do not do this, if you shield yourself from one of the smallest bit of suffering so as to take refuge in a rational attitude of doubt, then the fault lies in yourself, and the world fails to make sense precisely because you, who look at it, make no sense. You are foul, you are constantly contradict yourself, yet you expect to see the world pure and making sense. And I think this is exactly what we see in Western philosophy. Those who constantly doubt and question, they deconstruct, they don't actually build anything. To the point where you get David Hume's skepticism, where there's no reason for reason. There's no reason for morality. You can't get an ought from an is. Nothing tells you how you ought to live. There's no reason for it. And not only that, but induction itself can't be justified. Saying the future should be like the past, well, why should it be? If we're going to question everything, then being a skeptic, there's no reason for that. There's no reason for anything. There's no reason for reason. This is the whole problem. For years Eugene, Seraphim Rose, had suffered because the truth had eluded him. He had sought truth above all else. He had sought it with his mind, through Western philosophy, through Guenon's metaphysics, through Eastern religions, even though through trying to sidestep logical thought process with his mind. Now, at the first hand experience of Orthodoxy began to work in his soul. He began to realize that truth was not all what he had thought it to be and that he had been using altogether the wrong tool to find it. With my exposure to Orthodoxy and to Orthodox people, he recalled, "a new idea began to enter my awareness. That truth was not an abstract idea sought and known by the mind, but something personal, even a person sought and loved by the heart. And that is how I met Christ." Truth came down into the womb, came forth from it, and cast man's sins aside. Now, in order to know truth, Eugene had to enter into a personal relationship with him, to repent of his sins, and purify himself of all uncleanness, to love him with all his being. Truth is only in living communion with living truth, Christ. Apart from him, there is no life. There is no truth. Modern Christianity is at home with the world. His Christianity was radically otherworldly. He had finally found the designation of man's existence, and it was this: man is meant for another world. "It's an ascetic faith, emphasis not earthly consultation and benefits, rather heavenly redemption through intense suffering on Earth. No other kind rang true to him who had suffered so much. Only a God who allowed his children to be perfected for heaven through suffering and himself set the example by coming to a life of suffering. Only such a God was capable of drawing the afflicted world to himself and was worthy to be worshipped by the highest spiritual faculties of man. The whole point of Christianity is that creation is good and that it's worth saving. It's worth dying for. It's wounded by corruption. So, when we say not of this world, we're not meant to live in this corrupted state. We're meant to live in communion with God. It is not our end, but it is destined for renewal, for transfiguration. Just as Christ is transfigured, we are called to be transfigured, and all of creation will be transfigured and perfected. So, we do not abandon creation. We await its healing. We were not made to remain in a fallen world, but to be transfigured in Christ. Before Eugene had denied the existence of God, who enjoyed sticking pins in people, now he confirmed his faith in whom, while allowing suffering in the world, had himself taken on suffering far greater than that of his creation. Again, addressing the doubter in the God-man who alone of all suffered as an absolute innocent. Do you look for an explanation from him? His explanation is his life. Look at it. We all deserve what we suffer, or at least we should look on it with gladness as an opportunity to live more deeply and approach our fellow man and our God more closely. But, Jesus Christ did not deserve to suffer. He had no cause to, for he was innocent, and he had nothing to learn, nothing to gain from suffering. He was a purely gracious act such as we cannot even imagine. And he suffered as we cannot imagine anyone suffering, for he alone did not flee pity or the suffering of men. He offered himself no false consultation, no easy escape such as we use every day. He alone lived to the full of pain and sorrow which man is capable. And so, he knows how it is with us. He know existence is suffering, and we know that our God loves us, and for this love suffered even more intensely than the greatest saint. We know this, and yet we presume to doubt, to offer petty questioning of the meaning of of it all. Oh, vile man, accept it and suffer more, and pray to God. Pray for no object, and pray for no cause. Merely give your heartfelt prayers and tears to him. He knows the why of it. He knows all. Are you going to trust God, or are you going to trust yourself and stay in absurdism or nihilism? You'll never have the answer because the mind alone cannot give the answers. We need revelation, and God revealed himself to the human heart in [music] a person. Come and see. Visit an Orthodox Church.