Transcription
Okay, I'm going to be so serious today. You already know 2026 needs to be different. But if you're trying to be a new version of you while still doing the same things that created the current you, then I won't need a crystal ball to tell me how your next year is going to go. It's going to be the same. Nothing changes if nothing changes. So something needs to change. An identity shift has to come first before our behaviors can change, always. So that's what we're going to be focusing on today.
So my name is May, and I've lived through many versions of myself. So I understand sometimes this journey can get lonely, but we're never alone. Everyone that you're watching this with has the same mindset. I also made a digital worksheet just for this video for free, so you can put in the work, and you can download that as well from the video description. 2026 is going to be the year that everything is going to change for you.
By the way, I just got some merch samples in. Yes, I'm trying to drop this for Black Friday. I'm trying to launch that shop. This is one of them. I can't show you all of them because I'm still redesigning everything, and because I have ADHD brain, I might just redesign the entire collection. But we're going to make it on time. So, keep a lookout for that.
Now, if you're willing to do a reality check and let go of your old self, design who you want to become, and then give your nervous system a reset. This is exactly what we're going to be talking about. Your old identity got you here today. So, honor them, but you don't have to stay there. You're allowed to evolve. I always have chapters in my videos, and by the end of it, you're going to have a clear framework to audit your life across eight different areas, identify what needs to be different, and rebuild your identities. Also got a new whiteboard just for this video, and thank you to our sponsor, by the way.
I've been getting really deep on how to improve on the things that I actually want to work on. So, I'm a huge fan of educational platforms, which is why I've been taking classes on Skillshare. Skillshare is a learning platform with classes taught by world-class creatives. You have everyone from professional artists, designers, coders, and successful entrepreneurs. These are all people who have become very, very good at their craft. Some of you guys may know I started painting again. In order to learn the technicalities faster, I just hopped onto Skillshare, and it's perfect because they have an acrylic painting class for beginners that's also a staff pick, and it's really popular. Everything from setting up a workspace, mixing colors, creating dimension and field of depth. I think this is a really comprehensive class, and I also feel so much encouragement from pursuing something that's purely artistic. And even aside from painting, they have classes on literally every single topic you can think of. Also, class materials, projects, and get feedback from the teachers as well as community members. And that's what the classes on Skillshare helps you build. Actual skills, creative habits, mindset changes, you learn at your own pace, picking from thousands of classes. Most importantly, you're putting theory into practice. So, the first 500 people to use my link in the description will get a one-month free trial of Skillshare, plus 20% off your first year. If you want to get serious about your growth, then naturally, this will also help you put your ideas into practice.
Step one is the live audit. So, self-awareness is always the first step. You can't reinvent yourself without knowing who the old you looks like, and also why you became this person in the first place. People fail because they try to add new goals to an old identity without taking the time to understand the why. Okay. So, this is where we're going to identify where you are currently across eight different areas. So, I'm going to go through some ideas and then tell you what I did. You can use your own journal for this practice, or that digital guide that I made for you that you can download. So, for each area, ask yourself these questions: Where am I at currently? What's one change that will make the greatest impact? Guys, my handwriting is horrendous. And then, what am I avoiding?
So now let's start with your health and your energy levels. Are you moving in ways that feel good to you, or ways that feel like punishment? So there are a few major things to take note of here. Specifically, what is your relationship with food? Are you eating well? Are you moving at all? Are you having good sleep? Drinking a lot of water. All of these things are going to affect your energy levels, and also symptoms that you're ignoring or avoiding. Whether it's because you're too busy to deal with them. All these little things for me actually add up to some pretty significant impact on my body. All of these habits that we're not aware of can lead to an energy crash. For example, reminders to walk around, stretch, drink water. Now, if you're dealing with a more serious issue, note that down as well.
Now, the next thing is your career and your relationship with money. Does your work mean anything to you? Are you building something of your own on the side towards something that you care about, or are you just living paycheck to paycheck? Are you stagnating? Are you growing? Do you fear that money is never enough? Now, this can be me sometimes. So, my biggest shift was building my own thing so that I can wake up and get excited about it. And I will work as many hours as it takes. Back when I had my full-time job, I will also have one to two other things that I did, whether it was freelance work or something that I enjoyed doing for fun. And that's really important as well to not tie everything to a money value. As for money, my personal goal is to get to the point where I can have enough where I am comfortable.
Now, let's talk about your personal development, your mindset. Are you okay with being wrong sometimes? Are you willing to learn from your mistakes? Or do you have a perpetual victim mindset? Let's address your mindset and whether you're taking accountability for your actions. I think for these two things, a huge tell for people who are capable of growth comes from the willingness to own up to things and take responsibility. I do my best sometimes, even if it sucks. And I think it's very important to admit that. And there's always so much more you can learn. You have to find your own purpose to all of these improvements and why you're even doing this. For me, it's to realize my potential because I know that I'm capable of helping a lot of people.
Now, let's talk about relationships. What are you like with other people? Specifically, I want you to think about quality. Do you have people in your life who you can be completely real with? Are your relationships mutual or one-sided? Do you feel supported? Or are the people around you just exhausting? What do your social interactions look like? If they're all like, "Hey, how's it going?" type friends, or friends that you only see on specific occasions like brunch or the club, then you're probably not very close. So, evaluate your bandwidth. Not all of us have to be social all the time. For me, I had to focus on low-maintenance relationships. I don't have any energy for anything else. For me, that's really what I had to focus on. My people are the people who can take care of themselves, but also appreciate when you're around. So, for example, if someone is draining you, like a significant other, then perhaps consider how you can shift your focus back to yourself, which is actually what you're doing right now. And then with real friends, if they get it, they get it. If they don't, then they don't. You only have so much time in a day. And if you don't have friends, you know, a lot of smart people don't. And that is totally fine. It's something that can be nurtured if it's what you want to change. Right now, I'm going to wipe this again. And don't worry, I'm going to write everything out.
Okay, now let's look at your self-care. And I'm not talking about face masks or bubble baths, which is nice but not necessary. Like for example, how do you actually treat yourself when nobody's watching? What is your self-talk like? Is your self-talk kind? Is there some kind of constant stream of never being good enough? Are you constantly judging yourself? Do you honor your own needs, or do you just ignore it until something happens? So, I actually noticed when I was being very mean to myself in my internal dialogue, and I started to apologize whenever I did that, and I reframed it in my head because words are spells that can change you. And people who are kind to themselves, they are generally happier. They treat people better, and they do a better job because they're not getting in their own way. Let me erase all of this, okay? Cuz I want to make a big emphasis on this word. Your thoughts can create an entire universe, and appreciation leads to even more abundance. That's what gratitude looks like. Sometimes we forget to be grateful when we're eating, we're breathing, we have a roof over our head, and so on. Even just saying thank you to yourself is enough.
Okay. Now, let's look at your home and your environment. Your space either supports who you're becoming, or it keeps you stuck. Is your room clean? Is your house clean? Does it feel peaceful when you walk in, or is it chaotic? Pay attention to the general vibe of your environment. Does your space reflect who you want to be, or the result of who you've been? Every few months or so, I actually grab a giant garbage bag and clear everything out. Garbage, clothes I never reach for, boxes that I don't use, expired products. We were talking about that scarcity mindset earlier. So, I would feel compelled to hold on to things. So, everything that I started to hoard eventually creates this low-grade stress in my nervous system. So, I decided I have to get rid of visual clutter. Sometimes things can build up, which is fine, but I try to organize my house every now and then by putting everything back to where it belongs. I will mop and sweep and wipe down surfaces every few days as well because you want to make room for new energies. Dirtiness will really keep you down. It will make you stressed. It will make you sick. An environment that you can relax in is extremely important. By the way, guys, these markers are not very good. So, if you have any feedback for me, recommendations on better brands, please let me know.
And then lastly, we have free time. What are you doing when you're not working? When you're not sleeping or eating? How you spend your free time really tells me where your values are versus what you say you value. Are you resting? Are you just numbing yourself? Are you creating things? Are you consuming? Or are you just passing the time until the next thing that you have to do? Are you being present with yourself? Presence is everything. Even just clearing out your head for a few minutes, that can allow new thoughts to flow in. It's like cleaning your house, but mentally. So I have one morning a week where I don't jump into anything work-related immediately. I just do whatever that isn't contributing to productivity. Whether it's just sitting around, I go for a short walk, or I write in my journal. We can burn out eventually from feeling like we constantly have to stay busy and upgrading all the time, which is also very unproductive because that won't last forever.
Now that we've identified all of these eight areas, we're going to be working on step two, the autopsy. We're identifying all the patterns that you've been doing in these eight areas and everything that came about as a result of that that became your identity. So what do you identify with? Are you an overachiever? Are you a people pleaser? Are you selfless? Are you a victim? Are you chaotic? Maybe you're brave and resilient because you have to be. You're a survivor. These are all examples, right? So for each of them, ask: What did this protect me from? Why did I have to step into this identity in the first place? What did it help me survive? Am I resisting doing the things I actually enjoy? These questions can help you identify the program that's running in your head. What are the patterns like? Where are you thriving? What needs more work? How can you breach the gap? So, the autopsy is just you identifying the patterns that keep happening. For example, my achiever identity protected me from feeling worthless and unproductive. Constant producing gave me evidence that I was important. Can I be important without doing anything? What am I resisting? And then my selfless helper identity protected me from abandonment issues. I like to feel needed by people. My resilience protected me from bad situations because I became good at handling difficulty and never giving up, and in a way that saved me. But can I allow myself to be soft? So all these identities make sense when we built them. They serve their purpose for a given situation. But if we don't need them anymore, then maybe these identities are not holding us back.
And then step three, we can talk about the grief stage. This is where you grieve the old you, and it is mandatory. Most people will fail at this point for this reason. When you're releasing an old identity that you were holding on to, you have to grieve. Whatever comes out, transform. As the new version is a survivor of the old version. So you actually have to pat yourself on the back and give yourself grace and say thank you to them because that old you went through a lot of things, and they helped you survive. You can write farewell letters, for example, to these identities that you released, and be grateful and tell them that you're ready to move on. Symbolically closing these chapters will help you get some closure. Like, did you know that your nervous system doesn't know the difference between losing a person and losing an identity? Both of these things do create grief, and it's very important for you to honor that because if you don't, then in a strange way, you're not going to have peace, and you might unconsciously also recreate the old identity and bring them back because the unprocessed emotion will pull you right back to the past. And this is why people fail. So, I'm going to be drawing an alarm bell here. This is very important. Hopefully, that looks like an alarm bell. So, allow yourself grace and some time to grieve and think about what you don't want to become, right? You're putting parts of the old self to rest. The time has come. It served its purpose, and you want to celebrate that.
Number four, the identity design. If you want to be in new rooms, you have to hold the correct key to unlock the door to those rooms. So this is where you become the person you want to be because we see everything through our own perspective. Right? So you can never be other people, but you can feel inspired and see for yourself. That's where you can go. That is a possibility, and become that specific version of you that you admire, that's still you. So look at these eight areas. Go back to this and ask yourself: Who is the version of me that looks like a level up of this? For example, I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want my body to be tough enough to go scuba diving because that's something I want to do, and I want to be better at taking breaks. So, a person who honors their body will know that rest is very important. Kindness to yourself, respect for the environment that you live in, you're eating nutritious food. And then another person with financial peace does not have a scarcity mindset. They trust that things will flow. There are plans laid out for emergencies. Currency is called currency because it's an energy that comes and goes. And then the person who values deep relationships, right, is okay feeling vulnerable when they connect with people because they can trust that they can keep themselves safe enough to feel safe with other people. So write everything that you want down and ask us: What does someone like this naturally do? Because it's a part of who they are. Free time, your hobbies, your interests, your passions, this is all your identity blueprints, not your goals, not who you want to become by the end of next year. This is a description of your new natural reality. This happens right now. You get to decide this now. Even if you're not there yet, you are on your way. Simplicity is very important and underrated because I see people who make things very difficult and overly complex because they're overcompensating for something else. The truth is going to be simple, okay? Become the person who naturally does the things. Don't force yourself to do something while you're still the person who doesn't want to, because then you have to go back to the previous step. Once you can let go, then you can be like, "Okay, we're doing this right now," and remind yourself as much as possible. Say goodbye to that old identity grief, and then write down your reminders. Put it on your fridge. Put it on your mirror, your phone wallpaper, a whiteboard. You're not going to be achieving anything immediately, but you're going to believe that you are the person who is capable of achieving it. You're simply going to do it and decide, and you're going to show up.
So number five is going to be micro identity practice. But what I mean by this is this is your nervous system reset because it has been trained to remember your old self, and it knows the old you very well. The new you looks unfamiliar. So when you try to act differently, it feels dangerous, and it pulls you right back to the old you, which is in your comfort zone. This is also where people fail, right? Because it gets hard, and they give up. You have to push through in order to rewire that mindset because you're capable of overcoming it, and eventually you will, one day at a time. A good way to teach your nervous system that it is safe is to practice these micro identity shifts. Small movements, practicing the new version until your body learns that this doesn't actually harm you. The tiniest things that sound so simple, like switching coffee with tea, stretch breaks, positive self-talk, a new productivity system, like for example, you might want to get a new notebook or something. That's another thing I'm selling in my merch store, by the way. And so maybe some of the things that you're working on deserve that dedicated attention, and not when you're feeling overwhelmed. You can say yes to yourself more, and then say no to the things that you don't have the energy for, and it's fine. You can breathe through that. Just say no if you don't want to do it. You have to teach that nervous system that it's safe to step into this new identity. Keep telling yourself you're going to be fine no matter what. This is going to help you in the long run. And just keep repeating it. Repetitiveness is the key. Gradually your nervous system will stop fighting and start supporting the new you. So just identify three new tiny habits that you want to work on this month, and just do it repeatedly. Feel that discomfort, and just breathe through it. You are going to notice that nothing bad happens to you, and then eventually your nervous system will integrate the new you into your life, and that's when it becomes automatic.
So the first area that you want to work on is usually the one that affects everything else. Right? For example, health is a big one. Everything runs through your body, or even self-care, because how you treat yourself determines everything else. So if you want, you can repeat after me in the comments: "I am proud of myself for putting in the work." And let me know which of these eight areas you might be avoiding, or you notice that you have to work on. So, when we can name what we avoid, it actually loses its power. Self-awareness is the key. And we're not alone either. We're all in this together. So, I make videos like these every week. And now I have a whiteboard. So, if you want complete transformation that integrates your mind, body, spirit, and you want to do the work, subscribe if you haven't already. Don't forget to download that guided worksheet PDF that I made for you. It's so robust, I think. And I will see you in the next video. Bye for now.