Transcription
Assalamualaikum, Namaskar, Jai Hind. I am Shabnam Sheikh, and I am live in front of you all today, after a long time. It took me a long time to come back live. I was a little busy—a little is an understatement—I was quite busy. And besides that, I was missing my chair. When will I sit back down, and when will I be in front of you all again? So let's start, and I hope you are all doing well, and that everyone's life is getting better. Until a person improves his or her mind, life will not improve. I took almost two months to come back online. There was a time when we used to do four or five live videos a day. The reason was that so many people wanted to talk about their lives while sitting in a live video. I never told anyone to come live because coming live and expressing your sorrows or your feelings in front of the world is a big deal, friends. Let's start. If you have any questions, you can ask me. We are starting with the first subject. Let me talk about domestic violence first. As you know, I believe we should neither tolerate domestic violence, nor inflict it, nor watch it happen. How much our society needs to improve. A living example of this is what is happening in our society today. The weddings that are happening, regardless of the community, the expenses that are being incurred in those weddings, the dowry that is being given in the name of dowry, what do they achieve by giving it? Look, I'm showing you recent updates on cases from today and yesterday. Girls say that what their parents sent them, the in-laws say: "What did you bring? You didn't bring anything." First, at the time of the wedding, they don't say they need anything. Then, as soon as the wedding happens, it seems to them that nothing has been given, and that's where the violence starts. It starts with words. A person has to keep their brain so active that when you feel that someone's sharp words are hurting your conscience, hurting your self-respect, then understand that it is mental torture. The first step is mental torture. When you are experiencing it, take initiative, take action. Because of your not taking action, it increases, moving towards abuse, then towards physical violence. Now, those who come to meet me, who are ahead in socialism today, they are working for community and society. When they come and say that I am a role model for them, and they are learning from me, 10, 15, 15 years younger than me, those children, when they come and tell me that they are learning from me and they like it, and I inspire them, it makes me feel, yes, that my every word is very important, every single word. Once, in a live video, if I uttered a wrong word, a wrong word came out, immediately one of my well-wishers updated me, "Madam, there is a mistake. Society will not accept it. Delete the video." Think about it, even one wrong word, whether it is personal or for a community, people immediately say delete it; it's wrong. When violence in the house starts with humiliating you, you should think about what the next step will be. It will escalate to abuse, then beatings, then attempts to kill. I file such cases daily where girls are still being beaten. Where are you living? In what century are you living that you still think someone can beat you? Now you see that the law has also said that you can keep your phone on and record video even inside the police station. That is, the law enforcers who used to do wrong, who used to stop you from recording videos, from taking evidence, the government has also stopped them. You can record videos. So think how free you are in this country. The country is going digital, but see where digitization is going. Let any community have a wedding; give that gift to your daughter, to your son-in-law, his mother, his father, his whole family. If the boy turns out to be good, then fine. You spend so much money finding a boy and getting your daughter married, and if that boy turns out to be okay, well and good. If not, then what you've done is wasted money and water. Then your daughter will drag you to court for even ₹5,000 a month, but he will not give it to you. Instead of wasting money on weddings, money is the biggest problem. If God hadn't created a stomach, there would be no need for money at all. Since He created a stomach, work is necessary. Today, the trend among boys has become—even parents think that since they have produced a son, an ATM card has been produced, keep swiping it, keep swiping, money will keep coming. This mindset needs to be changed. Society needs to improve. Please, wherever you see cash transactions happening in weddings, I, on behalf of society, want to warn you about this particular subject, and I want to make a definite announcement to you. You should do this. Wherever you see a cash transaction in any wedding, please immediately dial 100 and report it. It is our need to stop wrong things from happening in society; this is very important so that it becomes known what wrongs are happening. Why don't you do this? You bring the girl from her home and give ₹10 lakh to her house. Is it that you are taking the girl from my house? Has this ever happened? Never happened? Why? Because the girl will also come to your house. She is a doctor, she is an engineer, she is a lawyer, she is a police officer. I am talking about girls. A mentality has been created in our country that if she is a woman, she will do domestic work. She works at any level but returns home, no matter how tired she is, if it is about cooking, I am not talking about every house—the wife will cook. Until we come out of this mentality, until men are also employed for domestic work in our country, and along with that, women will have to come out of the pattern of sitting at home as housewives. See, I and Sir were discussing how many people in our country pay taxes. About 6% of the people pay taxes. The remaining 95% buy things other than what they pay tax for. But still, why are people not able to reach that income level? A man earns, let's say, ₹15,000-20,000. I'm talking about a very small family, those who think that if you earn a salary of ₹15,000-20,000, then you are eligible to get married. You can get married, and you can plan two or four children. Then their expenses are not met. Their lives are in trouble. There are many reasons for violence. Please avoid it. Let me go ahead with subject number two: extramarital affairs. In those weddings arranged by parents, people often demand things. Look, many cases of girls also come to us. I have more than 50% cases of men. I'll tell you a story. As soon as a married person has an affair with another person, he tries... the matter was filed, we don't need to take it. Just half an hour. The reason is that the girl is 23 years old, and the boy is 38 years old, a married man, having an affair with an unmarried girl. The girl is also giving him money. Five years of affair, five years of physical affair. In the physical affair, the girl is giving money to the man. She has maintained a relationship by giving money to the man and expects him to marry her. You have an extramarital affair. I hate people. If you want to have an affair, don't get married. If you are married, then be loyal to your partner. Man or woman, control yourself. Don't ruin the level of marriage. The law of our country has made extramarital affairs legal. Legal. People are in front of me, example lives. The girl is sitting in her parental home, the husband is outside, not one, not two, not four, but many affairs. Marriages, relationships, etc. I'm not just talking about Muslims; I'm talking about every community. Why? People think that since affairs are legal, their conscience is illegal? See, Madam Ji, as you said, affairs are happening, of women and men. One reason is, in our society, women are getting everything at home. So why are they having affairs? It's a problem of mentality. If you've gotten married, why did you get married? If you don't get satisfaction from your husband or wife, if they are not beautiful or better, you are going outside to find love, then it's a problem in your thinking. If there is a problem in your heart, you'll get a divorce, right? If there is incompleteness, it is actually the meanness within you. All the married men or women who have affairs outside are completely characterless. They can never get a certificate of characterization from anywhere. A married man, a married woman, and they maintain relationships outside—absolutely characterless, absolutely. Because you cannot change them. You cannot remove someone from their life by coming into their life. You are a supplement; you are not actually the answer to the question. Yes. Like Shabnam Ji, a lawyer recently filed a petition in the Supreme Court to make changes in the 498 cases. The Supreme Court clearly said that we will not make any changes. If there needs to be improvement, society needs to improve. We were against dowry earlier. We've put up big hoardings, big advertisements, that taking and giving dowry is illegal. Now the Supreme Court has made it clear. Now society has to improve. Will society improve despite this order of the Supreme Court? And will the men who commit suicide because of the mentality and torture of their wives, will this stop? See, perception is person to person. Somewhere the woman is troubled, somewhere the man is troubled. As far as societal improvement is concerned, I'll talk about where marriage starts. The subject is domestic violence. If one man commits suicide, how many women are dying? How many women are dying? I'm not comparing anyone. Whether the victim is a man or a woman, the victim is a victim. They suffered torture; they had to bear the torture. They had to go to the nearest police station, file a complaint. They shouldn't have committed suicide. The weakness is in the brain. If his brain doesn't work, the heart is only one brain. That person uses it everywhere: where to profit, what benefit to make, and what loss to incur. The Supreme Court has given a clear justification that no changes will be made in the domestic violence law. Because one man's suicide shows how much a man was suffering. Other men can also mention this in their complaints. If it has to change, society has to change. Domestic violence starts with money. Wherever the demand ends, violence will end. Please, as you said, for the past 20 years you've been working on domestic violence, for the past 20 years, there hasn't been any change. No, I would say there has been. I would say absolutely. Awareness has increased in many people. Those who used to lock up their wives at home and beat them, thinking the lock would never open. You know, people thought the lock would never open, what do they call it, the lock opened. The husbands who used to beat their wives, sometimes their hands, their cheeks have been touched by strong hands. They too realized, "Oh my god, the pain and suffering is as much as it is for me." So there has been a little change. Awareness is necessary. Our work is awareness. We do awareness. People bring changes in their lives. A characterless person will never change. Yesterday, that girl said that I want to live with my husband. I caught him in an affair for the third time. Today's era—caught in an affair for the third time, and she has been staying for six months. Her eldest daughter is 16 years old, three children. I said, what do you want? I want to stay. If you want to stay, then adjust. He will not improve. Tell me what you want. I have no magic cure. I will file a case, explain to him, counsel him that it is wrong, don't do it. But her husband clearly says, "If you want to stay, stay. If not, don't stay. I won't change." Now you tell me. Do I have any medicine for this? The only medicine is this. If a person is so bad, whose dirt you cannot tolerate, divorce is the only solution. Take the solution legally. Let all the excitement, the passion, the youthfulness be there in his life. Let him do all that outside, but take half the legal property, and let him do it, take your legal rights. Yes, of course, this is the only solution what you feel. Any other questions? Okay. Shabnam Ji, you have been doing social work for the past 20-22 years. Through your live video, what would you like to tell those women? Some time ago, a girl came who knew her husband was having an affair. What would you like to say to them? Are men as responsible, or are women more responsible? No, in my opinion, both are equally responsible. That means, until a woman extends her hand, a man will not hit her. You're saying the opposite. Actually, until a woman releases her hand, no man will grab it. I'm talking about that subject. When she knew he was having an affair, she still stayed with him for five years. Now she wants her wife to separate and be with her. That girl also told me today that when he came away from his wife a few years ago, until now he is with her. And, and, and I would like to detail this case a little bit. Anyways, I'm not filing this case. The girl says he came in September, 6 September 2024, and until 20 January 2025, that is, eight days before, the man was with her. Because the wife found out about his affair, true love awakened. And the man went with his girlfriend. Now the wife has called him back. A compromise happened eight days ago: one day with the wife, one day with the girlfriend. A clap, loud clap. Please, please, please. This settlement was a verbal settlement. Look at a weeping girlfriend. Always remember, whenever there is a fight, in love, affection, any extramarital affair, the married couple will always win. Why? Because the wife is the license and the car, she's at home. Until he leaves her, he cannot get married. Any relationship. He is not going to leave her. Anyway, the children are in her house. Remember, having an extramarital affair or having an affair with a married person, the person who presents you as an option in life, keep in mind that you cannot become their whole life. A life option can never become life. Learn from the situation, and get out of that dirt, because there is no shortage of singles in the world. That person who is already not tolerated by someone else is falling at your feet. Keep that person away from yourself. Stay away from extramarital affairs. This is advice. Okay. Let me come back to point number three, which is online fraud. In online fraud, we have filed many cases these days. Now we are seeing that generally when we are dialing, we are getting some calls by the government. Last year, I also had some credit card fraud. Obviously, that's essential and required. Now, in online fraud, I will share a small thing. We have a foundation. Someone sent a message, maybe to all four of my numbers. The message was received three days ago at night. An international number: "Madam, we have to donate 80 kits, 80 kits." It was a Canadian number. I referred the number, "Talk to my person. If you can just tell me the price of the kit, I will transfer it directly. We can come." That is, he said, you just tell me. I said, "This is not possible now. I will tell you in the morning." He said, "In the morning, I will transfer money through Western Union money transfer, money gram or Western Union." I said, "Okay, let's communicate. My staff will talk to you in the morning." I told him, "I donate kits; I distribute rations." I am giving a small example of online fraud. He said, "We have to distribute 80 kits." In the morning, we got the quotation from the ration dealer, gave him the quotation. He said, "Yes, I'm sending it." He said it would take two hours to send. He's writing to me from Canada that, "Madam, I have to pay for someone's operation in Kurla. I have to take someone's name in Kurla, a hospital's scanner." At that time, I was asleep. Look, I would certainly do this much—if I were awake, maybe I would have given the money, but I was not feeling well. It was afternoon time; I woke up and replied to him, "Do not send any money until I study this." The government is saying day and night, "Pay attention, pay attention, pay attention." I told him this. After that, that person hasn't come online for three days because that number was a dummy number. That was only a scam of ₹9000. So, they scan every person's social media throughout the day. The scammers whose money gets debited from our accounts, most of the fraud happens in Delhi, Haryana, Chandigarh, and that area. You will find more accounts from there because there are proper call centers running, such call centers that are raided by our government every day, and they are sealed. In online fraud, people think that by committing a little fraud, they will create something. They will definitely be caught one day. Whatever level it is good... do you want to say anything else about online fraud? On all platforms, not only for fraud, but also on dating apps, on any platform you are active, if you talk to anyone, if you communicate with anyone, and if someone asks for any kind of help, even for one thing—it's a scam. If anyone asks you for ₹100, even ₹100, understand that it is a scam. Today it will cause a loss of ₹100; tomorrow it will be a big loss. The person who asks you is only a fraud. The person who asks is never needy. A needy person will come himself, with his need, wherever it can be fulfilled. Those who ask are fraudsters. I've seen through social media; people have gotten married through social media...
Even if you give the boy lakhs of rupees, please stay away from these things. Be safe. Okay. Let's talk about affairs. Here we're talking about pure affairs, no extramarital affairs.
Topic number four: Affairs. With whom would you like to have an affair? This is a special, special line for today's generation. I'm recording this for today's generation. It is very important for you to keep one thing in mind: the world is very big. The person you have met in life, who is perhaps causing you some trouble, a little more trouble, a lot of trouble—trouble is trouble, whether it is financial, emotional, practical, or physical—you need to pay attention to this. I'm telling all teenagers, all bachelors, when you look for a better half, whether it's a boy or a girl, keep this in mind: your parents have spent their entire lives raising you. One wrong decision, choosing the wrong person, choosing the wrong person, one wrong affair can ruin your whole life. Pay attention to these things first.
If a boy meets you, and as soon as you enter into friendship, love, or any relationship with him, he starts saying that there are problems in his house, his car is broken, his business is in loss, he has lost in the share market, or he needs financial support to start a business—Topic number five, remember, he needs financial support to start a business—please understand, these are indications. This mind is not a common mind; this mind is an absolutely criminal mind. A criminal mind can only spoil your life. Initially, there will be a little trouble, a little pain, that you have given your heart to someone. It is difficult; the heart gets attached very difficultly. There are those who act with their minds, but those who act with their hearts do so wholeheartedly. So, adjust your heart a little. Understand that life is too big, it is not a life of two, four, or a few days. You can't fill your stomach with love. Why do 95% of love marriages end? Why are there divorces? Because choosing a person—when you make a selection, that selection matters, what you are selecting.
If a person, in a relationship, in love, hits you—whether it's a boy or a girl, any gender you are—that person is your biggest enemy, the one who raised a hand on you. Remember this: when the time comes, this is the same person who will not hesitate to take your life. Remember this too: you don't need any other enemy. The one who hit you once doesn't need to be feared by anyone else. Whenever any bad calamity befalls you, it will be because of this person. Calculate this. This video is useful for many people. This is experience; I've learned by sitting, learned by watching people, seeing the mean actions of people, which kinds of characters are cut from which scale, I'm sorry, but very bad boys.
A boy came before me three days ago, remember, that boy, his arrogance, and that girl—meaning, from my perspective, the girl wouldn't even have painted her toenails; she looked so dirty. Love marriage, love marriage—for this love marriage, they fought a lot, made a fuss, and did a love marriage. Now he doesn't want to live with her. Why doesn't he want to live with her? Because their affair was a five-year affair. The boy's marriage was fixed elsewhere. The girl filed a case against him because the girl was a minor, not 18 years old. So, both sides filed a case. I am right. Both sides filed a case. The officer called them and said, "Get married, why are you filing a case?" The case was filed or not filed, I don't know, God knows. Anyway, the boy married the girl to get relief from POCSO. Now he's married and says, "She made a rape case against me."
Now listen to this love. Look, the girl used the best sources, the best way, to achieve her love. Because when the boy started a physical relationship with her, he started it by saying that he'd marry her. Commitment of marriage. If you break the commitment of marriage, you are eligible for an FIR. So, her FIR was filed. The boy got the opinion from the officer to marry her. The girl says he didn't take her home after marriage. And the boy tells her day and night, "I raped you for five years; we had a five-year relationship." So now he teases her daily. That boy, when he came before me, was so drunk, she catches him and beats him, catches him and beats him on the road. The girl says, "I'm scared." I said, "Get a divorce from him, otherwise, he can harm you at any point in time." Now he says, "I will neither give a divorce nor will I keep her." What was this love? I haven't named anyone, I haven't named anyone. I'm just telling you a story, a real story, a true event. I'm telling you this so that you can learn something from it.
A piece of glass, that's what love, passion, marriage, and relationships are. A piece of glass. Drop it, break it, hit it with a hammer, damage it however you want. No matter how much you repair it, it cannot be repaired. So, choosing the right person, making the right decision is the most important thing for a person in their life, their self-respect. The moment you stop respecting yourself, your life ends there. You don't need to go out into the world and earn respect. Earn it in your own home. Wherever you work, your office, where you operate from, that is where you should build your respect. A person doesn't need to go outside and get shot with an arrow. Your respect increases from your work, the work you do, whatever profession, and stop asking for money. The respect of people who ask for money from others is equal to zero. How much is it? Zero. My dad used to say that a person who begs has a dead conscience; that's why they beg from someone. And those who think of building a business, getting married, settling down, and deciding on children with the money they beg from others—their life is just a gamble; nothing can happen to them.
Surroundings matter. That's my last subject of today. Surroundings matter. It is very important to sit with good people, work with good people, and hang out with good people. If you meet a thief, you know, Sahil, the thieves—professional thieves also leave their homes daily because I ran a rehab center for the past 14 years, so I have a lot of experience. Those thieves also leave their homes every morning to go to work. The number of thieves is large, because I used to work with the Mumbai Police, and we've seen a lot of things in reality. They say they get ready early in the morning, looking cool, like heroes, okay, classic. And on buses, local trains—the thefts that were happening on local trains, what they are called, might still happen—I'm talking about old cases, but the thefts that used to happen on buses, are still happening today. Even in our house, I'm talking about this house. Last year, our building was getting repainted, and bamboos were fixed on the sides all around. I think it was more than nine months. Bamboos were fixed in our building for nine months. A thief, properly, daily climbed the bamboos, went to the flat in front of mine, and for a whole month he slowly, slowly emptied the house of things, the flat in front.
When he came to my house, the balcony was open, he came to the house through the balcony. There is no room in that balcony. He came from that balcony, saw all the frames, entered the kitchen, ate food, came out, and when he saw my and Dad's frame, he wasn't seeing anything; the outside light was off. As soon as he saw that frame, a sound came from inside the house, and just imagine, it was captured on video outside. From the fifth floor, he climbed back down from the terrace and ran. As soon as that video was submitted to the police station as evidence—we didn't do it, the people in front did—but we gave evidence to the police. It took the police an hour to catch him. Why did I give such a long explanation? Around 6 to 7 cases or more are filed against him. They arrest him, and in two or four days, he gets bail. Even if they keep them in jail, what will they do? People get bail, come out, and do the same thing again. Therefore, surroundings matter. If you see your children in the wrong surroundings, that's where it starts. Today's session is not fine. Something better will happen next time.
Keep it up, friends. I take your leave today. Whenever you feel you need my help in any legal matter, the Health Care Foundation is ready to help you. So, I'll take your leave with all your love. Thank you so much, love you all, Jai Hind.