Transcription
Come, please. First and foremost, if you're married, keep your hand up.
So, apart from the married people, especially the men, who is the finest person you see around here? Okay, thank you. I met it somewhere. Now, who is the ugliest person you see?
Nobody is ugly.
You said what?
Nobody is ugly.
Now, why do you say, "Ah, if she says you're ugly, is she God?" That's my point. It's just her opinion. She's not God. And that's what I'm driving at. You must love yourself. And there must be a confidence that must come on you early to say, you know what, whatever anyone thinks, that's their opinion. I'm confident in my own skin. Listen to me. There are some people who may have a more attractive personality than me, but there are things that God has given me that they don't have. Not many people have accepted themselves. And you can be a Christian and haven't figured this out yet.
And [music] you may think I'm saying this because of where I am, but believe me sincerely, I've always thought this way. [music] If the world was starting again and I'm given the opportunity to be anyone else, I will not collect. There is no one in the universe I would rather be. I like being Emanuel. See those of you who have known me. I've always taught myself to be a big deal. And people will usually believe in you when you stop caring if they do or not.
So one of the things you must figure out early is what do I have? What has God given me? Come to terms with it early. Be confident in it early. Please do you get the point? [applause] Thank you, Jesus.
Please turn your Bibles. Matthew chapter 5 verse 3. Matthew chapter 5 verse 13. It says, "You are the salt of the earth." What a profound statement. What a spiritual metaphor. God is trying to tell you, you make the world better, just your presence, you bring healing, you bring restoration, you bring sweetness. You are the salt of the earth. Say that with me.
Say, I am the salt of the earth.
I am salt of the earth. My nation is better because of me.
My nation is better because of me.
My family is better because of me.
My family is better because of me.
My community is better because of me.
My community is better.
I am the salt of the earth.
I am salt of the earth. I mean this is very important. But then he says, "But what if the salt loses its savor? How shall it be seasoned?" How do you season what is supposed to season others? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled under the foot by men. I'm starting with this text because a lot of questions are being asked about Christianity. Somehow the favor is not translating. We are not seeing enough national impact. We are not seeing enough impact in integrity. If you doubt me, leave your iPhone 17 here and check back on Tuesday. Tuesday is five, you know. So what I'm trying to tell you is we may laugh about it. It may be bands but it's not funny. It's not funny at all. It's not funny at all. You know, and hallelujah. On one hand is a universal problem, but it's in different degrees from nation to nation. You know, I saw something. The first time I went to preach in Ghana, Apostolic Visit Ghana, I don't really know why. I couldn't really find out why, but I noticed something that if somebody wants to give a special offering and maybe they don't have access to an usher or they don't know anybody in the leadership, what they just do is they go to a corner of the hall and drop the money there on the floor. Did you hear what I said on the floor? When I saw that, I said, "That's it. This has won the debate. Ghana versus Nigeria. This has won the debate. I don't care what you think. You can't try that in any Nigerian church. You can't. Even the offering, some ushers, they tam There's a church I won't mention. [laughter] Just notice throughout the counting this lady was speaking in tongues. Speaking in tongues. So because she was speaking in tongues, nobody wanted to talk to her. Meanwhile, the reason she had to keep the prayer going is because there was money in her mouth. And if she had spoken, they would have said, "Ah, what's that? Why is your voice muffled like that? It shock you. Abby, if you need CCTV to count offering, this nation is not changing anytime soon. [laughter] We we we are just joking. But and and people get mind though. Do you know the kind of things people do with offering? Someone comes with cancer, raises the offering up, speaks on it. Lord, I you said we should cast our cares that we should surrender our burdens. [clears throat] I hand it over to you and then drop it in the basket. You use our B shoe. She use her back. I think people people are brave. But these are the issues. Very little national impact, very little impact in integrity, very little impact in marriage. Mind you, that little is still a lot compared to the other option of the non-existence of the church. But at the same time, we can talk to each other and challenge each other. We can do better. There must be something wrong maybe with our curriculum. or something. And so, you see, one of the major emphasis of Jesus's earthly ministry was to let God's people know that salt can lose his savor. He said it in different shapes or forms. He kept challenging religious being religious without transformation. He kept challenging it. Religion without transformation, form without substance. He didn't like it at all. And so he said things like this. Look at So now we read Matthew 5:13. So he's telling you one of the ways that salt can lose his savor. Look at verse 23 now. Verse 23. This is an instruction. And I think by the way, this is an instruction you should obey today. Today. Because we are doers of the word. Because many of you, what I'm about to read is actually a prophetic depiction of your current state. He says, "Therefore, if you bring your gifts to the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, what does he say you should do?" He says, "Leave that gift at the altar. Go and first be reconciled with your brother, then come back and offer your sacrifice." Listen, I know that you're here. You've planned the offering that you're going to give and you've given God the sacrifice of praise. Look at you. You cried during the praise and worship, but you were mean yesterday. Very mean. Maybe right now you're not even talking to your spouse. Maybe you are even serving as a worker, giving your loved one and serving in church. Jesus is saying you can't continue LIKE THAT. GO FIRST AND BE RECONCILED, then come back. Listen, what he's letting you know is this. You can develop such a hypocritical perspective to devotion that it is only vertical and not horizontal. Your relationship with God does not translate to a better, more productive, more peaceful relationship with those around you. And now God is saying, "I'm not going to take that." Because if you cannot love men that you can see, how can you love God whom you cannot see? First John 4:20. That's hypocrisy. I'm not going to take that. See, one of the ways to make your spiritual growth measurable is this. Just give yourself a target. My relationships with people must change because G see this is the marking scheme. God is going to judge you based on that. He said on that day I will tell people I was hungry and you gave me no food. I was naked and you gave me no clothing. You you'll be surprised. You say when. The reason why people will ask when is because they know that there is no way they will see Jesus and not help him. You know, selective generosity is not Christianity. That's what he's saying. Selective love, selective compassion is a reflection of hypo hypocrisy. The fact that we tend to treat people differently. The same honor that you have refused to give in some other context, YOU WILL WILLINGLY VOLUNTEER IT. YOU CANNOT GO ON LIKE THIS. WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY worshippers who are badly behaved and if you're not careful the religion can even make you worse because you will add pride on top of it. You know, I've said this time and again, I discovered very early that disparity because when I got filled with the spirit, started taking my walk with God seriously, there was somebody I looked up to. And make no mistake, I cannot tell my story without talking about him. So, he's eternally appreciated from where I stand. But I noticed a problem. I noticed that this prayer champion just couldn't make good relationship choices consistently. I was young. I didn't know a lot of things, but I'm like, "Bro, what are you doing with this babe?" And in our culture, you can't really speak. So, number one, he's older than me. Number two, he's a spiritual leader. How I go tell him in 5 years he dated like four people. Yes. And make no mistake. Your I interrupted me. When you allow it settle, tell me so I can continue. It shock you a bit. You know, there was a time we were at a retreat and I noticed his phone was buzzing, buzzing, buzzing. It was the person he was dating and she was frustrated that she he didn't tell her he was going on a retreat. She had been trying to reach him for like one week. Now wait now it gets more dramatic. So, so she sent a text expressing her disappointment and he read he reads it out to me and it's like look at how she's talking to me. She doesn't know I'm a spiritual leader. I said wow. That's why I knew that it was one of my earliest exposures to the fact that wisdom is context specific. And that's putting it mildly. Wisdom is context specific. And you see some people make God look bad. You make God look bad. Some people who are running away from church have never encountered God. You are just a bad example. Terrible example. Because if Christianity is what you are doing, they want to be as far from it as possible. Tell the person by your side, "Drop your sacrifice first. Go and make peace."
Go and make peace.
Go and make peace.
Go and make peace.
Another text that typifies this 1 Corinthians 13. This is important. Please, I hope you're learning. See, I might give examples of others, but I'm giving examples of others so that it may help you reflect better about yourself. Make no mistake, I'm talking about you. And God wants you to be better. He wants you to be better. So the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13 from verse ONE HE SAYS THOUGH I SPEAK WITH TONGUES of men and of angels. You see the hypopy he's trying to paint a picture like an African mom saying if you like cry from now till HE SAID THOUGH I SPEAK WITH TONGUES OF MEN AND OF ANGELS. HE SAYS IF I DO NOT HAVE LOVE FIRST AND FOREMOST NOTICE THAT'S POSSIBLE. It's possible different aggressive tongues. But you wicked, you wicked. So it it first it must first shock you that it's possible. Tongues of men, tongues of angels, you can dine with angels. You speak their language fluently. But you can't say sorry when you do something wrong. You can't acknowledge. No introspection. You minimize. You diminish both the situation and others. He says, "I have become a sounding brass or clanging symbol." Have you ever been on a call and from your end you sound clear but the other person can't hear you? This is feedback from heaven that all those your prayer. Eh, give me a drumstick quickly. Where's that drumstick? Thank you. So in your mind, Lord, bless my business. Bless my business. Bless my business. Help me. Help me Lord. Help me Lord. Heal my brother. This is what they hearing. Now wait. This is the feedback on the other side. The same way you are on a call, you think you're clear, you're communicating well, but the other person is like, I can't hear you. I can't hear you. And you're increasing your voice, but they still can't hear you. It's happening in your prayer life. That's he's telling you you've been speaking a lot of tongues, but heaven is just a clashing symb. The network they clash love. Sounding brass, clanging symbol. [laughter] Just imagine you are in desperate need of help, of intervention, and in heaven they're like, "What's that noise? What's that noise? It means love is a filtration system. It makes your communication with heaven clearer and more articulate. Without it, you will not be heard. You will not be heard. Isaiah said the same thing about fasting. Is this not the fast that I have chosen to lose the bands of wickedness? I I see you are buffetting your flesh, but you're still treating your staff badly. Is this not the fast that they have chosen? HE SAYS, "AND THOUGH I BESTOW ALL MY GOODS TO FEED THE POOR, AND THOUGH I GIVE MY BODY TO BE BURNED, BUT HAVE NOT LOVE, IT PROFITS me nothing." You can give sacrificially and there is no blessing for it. Then he begins to define the characteristics of love. And you I can't tell you how important this is, especially in 2026. And don't get get me started on that. He says love. What's the first thing he mentions? It's it's enduring. It's it end it endures. This is something some people have never witnessed. Your longest relationship is 3 months. Not just romantic friends. You fall out with everybody but they are still the problem. No introspection, no accountability. What's your relationship with your dad? Uh the man is troublesome. Okay. What about your mom? Ah, if you remember what she did to me. Something something. Okay. What about your boss? Wicked man. Wicked. What about your neighbor? Everybody is the problem. And you can be faithful in church. That's the scary thing. You come to church regularly and this is still who you are. Love suffers long. Love is kind. May you see kindness in your home.
You see, let me tell you something. The Bible said that God brought animals to Adam to see what he will call them. To all the animals Adam gave names but to Adam was not found help suitable. It was after then that God caused deep sleep to come out to come upon him and brought out Eve. So it means one of the first things God wanted him to identify is who is not qualified to be his spouse. Before God showed him his spouse, he first showed him who is not qualified. Some of us in desperation have chosen dragon as wife and as husband. You know marry dragon. Today go Love is kind. Help me tell the person by say love is kind.
Love is kind.
It means love uses kind words. Love acts in a kind way. I I I know you're upset, but why why do that? The kind of things I've heard, you rush in anger, tear passport. Are you You're a dragon. [laughter] break television.
Please say it again. Say love is kind.
He said love does not envy. Ah ah it means it is possible to be in a marriage without secret competition. Do you know is not everybody who is married to someone they really shared successes with the moment they hear you were promoted at work they start acting different feeling insecure. Please, I beg you men, allow your women fly. Allow them fly. Allow them fly. You see, clap because I'm coming to you. You know men are very strange. They will see a woman in all her beauty, in all her splendor. They will pursue her aggressively. Then all the things that attracted them, they would domesticate, subjugate, squeeze all the juice. That woman, the way she's looking, is that the way she looked in her father's house when you be this this message. Love does not envy.
Amen somebody.
Amen. Love does not parade itself. It is not puffed up. So I like the fact that he went on to give definitions because you see biblical love is described in a different way from telmundo. It's described in a diff different way. Some of you don't know that. Some of you don't know that. It's described. It's described number one as action. Can you say action?
Action.
If you love me, keep my commandments. Jesus said that's action. I saw a quote somewhere. I said I will [music] read it to you. Are you ready for it?
Yes, sir.
He said, "People who always say they love you but don't fix what hurts you don't love you. They love the comfort of having you. Love without action is just a mere emotion." Secondly, the Bible describes love and this is a flow of thought into my next point. The Bible describes love as a fruit of the spirit. I will tell you why that's important. It means love is one of the things you experience when your spirit is healthy. Love is one of the things you experience when your spirit is healthy. It means that when your vertical relationship, I mean your relationship with God is healthy, it will subconsciously improve the quality of other relationships in your life. Every time I want to teach on this, I like to describe it this way. Has it ever happened that you were in a worship meeting that melted your heart? Melted your heart. Then when you stepped out, you found yourself in a situation that normally if you were not just coming from a prayer meeting, they would have seen your other side. But it was hard to switch. Some of you know what I'm saying. And you're just like, "Bless you. I show you a life hack. Find that place every day. When you find that place every day, love becomes natural. I'm telling you, love becomes You see what I just told you has helped me to be a behaviorist. When I find Christians who are usually patient, agitated on some certain days, I just tell them you've not prayed today. And it's always like word of knowledge. I have never been wrong. In fact, one of one of them blotted out and said, I don't know why I'm just so irritable today. I You never pray. He said, that's true. That's true. I've told you before, prayer is a strategy for soul maintenance. It oils your heart so that you can think the right way, feel the right way. Prayer is a strategy for soul maintenance. Worship is a strategy for soul [music] maintenance. It's been proven psychologically when you're angry at somebody, you don't want them touching you. One of the most irritating things for a lady is for someone they don't like to try to touch them. And even if that person is someone they're in love with at that particular time, just don't just it's it's a reflex. And that tells you that when you are quarreling, something must die. It is either you no longer hold hands to pray or you hold hands and the grievance dies. There will always be a trade of when you are angry. You are sacrificing something to keep the anger alive. Some of you know what I'm saying. [music] You're sacrificing something. So as we talk about emotional intelligence, understand this especially from a Christian standpoint that all of this flows first and foremost from a vibrant relationship with Jesus. You see the Bible says this in Jeremiah 2:3 it says, "My people have committed two evils. They have forsaken me the fountain of living water and hewn themselves. You know systems like water system, anything that holds water, right? Buckets, systems, BROKEN SYSTEMS THAT HOLD NO WATER. So he's saying the reason why my people are not satisfied, the reason why they're going through emotional pressure is because many times they are looking for satisfaction that can only come from me. He's saying they are looking for satisfaction that CAN ONLY COME FROM ME. YOU HAVE FORSAKEN ME. THE FOUNTAIN OF LIVING WATER IN FACT EVEN USING SYSTEMS IS A TRADEOFF. COME ON. ARE YOU GETTING WHAT I'M SAYING? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE ACCESS TO A FOUNTAIN that is limitless. Instead, you carry the bucket. That's your source. That's what keeps you going. That's what influences your DRIVE IN LIFE. THAT'S IT. And then THE SYSTEM IS BROKEN. WHAT I'M TELLING YOU, YOU CAN TRACE IT TO many emotional dysfunctions. You're just LOOKING FOR SOMETHING. YOU ARE ANXIOUS FOR ATTENTION, for acceptance, for things that FUNDAMENTALLY SHOULD COME FIRST AND FOREMOST FROM GOD. And it is very interesting that this exact metaphor plays out in John chapter 4 that there is a woman coming to a well. She goes to that well regularly. And Jesus is saying that this is a metaphor of your emotions. The same way you come to the well regularly because you are never really having enough water. That's what is happening in your life emotionally. This water that you drink, you will keep thirsting. There is water THAT I HAVE THAT IF YOU DRINK THAT IF YOU DRINK ONE OF THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN DO IS TO MARRY SOMEBODY WHO IS THIRSTY A SATISFACTION THAT SHOULD ONLY COME FROM GOD. YOU ARE IN TROUBLE. They will wear you out. YOU WILL NEVER BE good enough. YOU CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT FOR SUCH a person because the HOLE IS A GOD-SIZED HOLE. you will never be good enough. AND SO THAT'S WHAT JESUS IS TELLING HER. HOW MANY HUSBANDS DO you have? You see, he's he's putting a spotlight on the problem right now. You're thirsty. There's something you're looking for. Looking for everywhere. I've told you jokingly. Seriously, she was even checking Jesus out. Jesus said, "Where is your husband?" She said, "I don't have." You see relationship hack if you ask somebody are you in a relationship and they say it's complicated it means they want to first see how it goes with you to know what to reply so she's already checking Jesus out there is something insiable about her jumping from well to well she's thirsty [music] and Jesus said the water that I shall give You shall be a well, not a system. A well springing up to everlasting life. [music] He said, "They that believe out of their bellies shall flow what?"
Shall flow what?
Say it louder. I shall flow what?
And that's why for anyone that you're going to spend the rest of your life with, make sure that they have some other relationships unlock. One of them is a relationship with Jesus. See, anybody e that doesn't have a relationship with Jesus will will stress you, will bleed on you. And guess what? When you love Jesus and you love the brethren, there are many things you will rehearse for that will be needed in marriage ahead of time. The problem with a lot of people is that it is in marriage that they begin to learn submission. They've never had to submit to anything or anyone ever before in their life. It's going to be a serious problem. And there is nothing magical about the wedding ring or about the wedding ceremony that automatically bestows on you the virtue of love or or submission. If you don't know it, you don't know it. But the good news is the responsibilities that we have in marriage in some shape or form are the same responsibilities we have in the body of Christ. So the Bible says submit yourselves one to another. So listen, when you have somebody that has a good pastor or belongs to a service unit with a leader, that is somebody who understands authority. Come on, are you getting what I'm saying? So now these are the kind of gods that prepare you for marriage. And I'm not just talking about the woman. It prepares the man too because somebody who has never submitted to anybody will be a bad leader. You might be unintentionally abusive because you you don't know what it means. If you've never been a follower, you you shouldn't be a leader. Who do you submit to? I like what that um soldier told Jesus. He said, "I'm both a man under authority and there are people under my authority." There must be that balance. Any man that doesn't have that balance. Don't come under a man that is not under anybody. That's what Paul WAS DESCRIBING THAT CHRIST is the head of the man and the man is the head of the woman. See, IF YOU LOOK UP AND you don't see anything, run. No. Do you know what it means to marry a a man that fears nobody, honors nobody? You lie beside him on the bed, that he can beat you and nothing will nobody will hold him accountable. [music] You know there are people no matter the title I have they call me by name. It it's important for your sanity. I'm not Apostle Emmanuel. Sit down. Are you getting what I'm saying? If they say come and see me, I'm booking a flight. No preaching engagement, but somebody called me. That's why I'm coming. Don't submit for anybody that has not submitted for anyone else. Have a vibrant relationship with Jesus and have a good relationship with purpose. Marrying a person that has not found purpose, no compelling dream in life, you are the only source of their excitement. The only source of their excitement. You are in trouble already. You're in trouble already. For balance, love Jesus. Love what you do. Have friends. You [laughter] love other things for balance so you don't drain somebody. See, I was listening to a psychologist. He said, "One of the most effective ways to make your marriage healthy, get an office. Get an office." It's true that a bit of familiarity breeds contempt. Go in the morning, come back in the night. You will discover that the love will. And if you doubt me, remember what happened to many people during COVID. It was fun the first few days. Because even the first man had work walk work before the woman came in. That is the divine balance. If you don't have purpose, the will the marriage will be annoying to you. You will annoy each other. Some of you know what I'm saying, right? You're also going to need friends. [music] Good friends. Good friends. Men, you need friends. Your wife is not going to like it many times. So you just want to leave me in this house and and go out. So what are you people doing? Playing ball. Women want you be you to be the center of their world. You know, I was listening to a comedian and he gave a hot stick. He said, "Women like happiness, but they don't like peace." Now, comedian be preacher, calm down. He said, "Let me prove it to you. If as a woman you open the door, you're looking for your husband, you open the door and you see your husband sitting and just looking up and smiling. You see, you see them. Will you say, "Oh, look at him. Peaceful man. Let me leave him. You say you are smiling at something and it's not me. [laughter] Who Who gave you the permission to smile when I'm not around? [laughter] What's was funny? One of the best things especially for women. If God can give you good friends, emphasis on good. Emphasis on good. God do not give you friends that are silently jealous of your marriage. the what they will advise you. Eh, and then you need mentors. You need mentors. Can I advise you whether the marriage is peaceful or going through a rocky time, don't even wait for the marriage to be going through a tough time. Once in a while, schedule it. Sit in front of counselors. They don't even have to be pastors or anything. Just people who are maybe older, more experienced, and just talk. touch base from time to time. It's going to really help you schedule it that you know what every seven months we'll just go and see this couple. My God. You see, there's a reason why the Bible says older women should instruct younger women. Older men and younger men see Jesus Christ. I can't tell you how it is. I can't tell you. Experience is a currency. If you have sat to listen to a wise older person, you will know what I'm saying. They will bring clarity to everything. They will shine the spotlight because they've been there. That's where you will realize many marriages are very similar in a lot of ways. It will help you And sometimes you need to hear it from another person. You are not treating this man well. You are not treating this woman well. I think guys struggle more with this. You see ladies they have conference everywhere. Guys the only conference where they meet is gym. or football viewing center. An older, wiser, successful man guiding you in life is a hack. Is a hack. It will open doors for you. And there are some things that if you don't learn any early, you will learn the hard way. There's there's no way around it. If you don't know it, you don't know it. Please, are you listening to me?
Mhm.
Let's just move on quickly. So, I said you must have a relationship with who? Number one.
Number two.
Number three.
Number four.
Number five.
Number five is you must have a good relationship with yourself. Do you like yourself? I want to look for trouble. Okay. Come, please. I hope you don't mind. Come. Yes, sir. [music] Thank you. First and foremost, if you're married, keep your hand up. If you're married, keep [music] your So, apart from the married people, especially the men, who is the finest person you see around here? I met it somewhere.
Um, you [laughter] either man or woman. Don't worry. I met her somewhere. Oh. Oh, she said me. Oh, I know. I said apart from married people. Don't worry. No, she listen now. She probably thought it was a trick question. Don't worry. Okay. So, look look at the crowd. Who's calm down? I I will call you. Let me see who shouting. You're doing good. Who Who's the finest person you see around here? My people lift your hand again. Who's the first person you see?
Okay. Thank you. Now, who is the ugliest person you see?
Nobody is ugly.
You said what?
Nobody's ugly.
Now, why do you say ah?
Wait. So, if she says you're ugly, is she God? That's my point. It's just our opinion. He's not God. You see, and that's that's what I'm driving at. You must love yourself. And there must be a confidence that must come on you early to say, you know what? Whatever anyone thinks, that's their opinion.
I'm confident in my own skin.
Listen to me. There are some people who may have a more attractive personality than me, but there are things that God has given me that they don't have.
So, one of the things you must figure out early is what do I have? What has God given me?
Come to terms with it early. Be confident in it early. Not many people have accepted themselves. So, and you can be a Christian and haven't figured this out yet. God bless you. Please, do you get the point? Listen to me. And you may think I'm saying this because of where I am, but believe me sincerely, I've always thought this way. If the world was starting again and I'm given the opportunity to be anyone else, I will not collect. There is no one in the universe I would rather be. I like being Emmanuel. You see, I know how to look at people who have way more money than myself.
I'm happy for them, but I'm okay.
I'm okay.
And my time is coming now for this Lagos. I've I've see those of you who have known me, I've always taught myself to be a big dealer.
And people will usually believe in you when you stop caring if they do or not.
Hallelujah. Are you a big deal or not? Are you begging us to believe in you? And it is only when you accept yourself that you can start noticing things about yourself that you never noticed. You never noticed. You never noticed. You know, I was reading a psychological report and I found it to be true. People who are usually attractive, I mean, people who are very very attractive physically, they tend to marry, right? That's what the report says. And I will tell you why. Because physical attraction is no longer such a wonderful thing to them. So, they now tend to look deeper. They now tend to look deeper. That is not face I'm looking for. And it is true about every other thing. It is true about every other thing. The people you see that are extraordinary in some areas, they don't even think too highly of themselves in those areas usually. And so when you are communicating with them, you tend to feel inferior. Meanwhile, they're not even hanging it over their own head. It has become common to them. People who have a lot of money many times. So when you're talking with them, many times it's in your subconscious, this person gave money, pass me. And for many of them, sometimes of course the classism is a real thing. I wouldn't lie to you. But it is not at the forefront of their consciousness as often as you think. And if you're not careful in such people's presence, you will always be counting yourself out by yourself. Before they ask you to exit, you will exit. You will volunteer yourself. You see, very important point. So, and I just might end here even if I'm just halfway my notes. I don't know. I didn't realize I had so much to say. Have you learned anything?
Yes, sir.
It's very important. [sighs] Please pray in [music] the spirit for a bit. Just pray. Talk to the Lord. Talk to the Lord. Talk to the Lord.
Thank you Jesus. [music] Thank you Jesus. [music] Thank you Jesus. [music] Thank you Jesus. [music] Thank you Jesus. [music] [music] [music] [music] in Jesus mighty name we've prayed.
Amen.
I'm just trying to look at my notes and to conclude if I should some of the things I have left to say. I don't want to touch touch on them halfway. So we defined emotional intelligence on Wednesday as the ability to accurately perceive, interpret, regulate, and respond to emotions both of yours and other people's in a way that produces wisdom, not damage. It is the ability to accurately perceive, interpret, regulate. Can you say regulate?
Regulate.
And respond to emotions, both yours and other people's, in a way that produces wisdom and not damage. You know, a lawyer has told a story. He's a lawyer in the US, very successful, wealthy, you know, and he decides to take some of his staff to go and eat in a very top restaurant. And whilst they're there, he notices that the manager of that restaurant used to be one bully that would always pick on him in school. We take his snacks, throw it on the floor and beat him blue black every now and then. Now the guy is a manager of a restaurant and he is a very successful lawyer eating with his staff after a successful deal. So he thinks to himself, "This is my time. This is my opportunity to revenge." So he's thinking, because he's a lawyer, he said, "I'm going to beat this guy." And he may sue me, I will spend $100,000. He's wealthy, so that's not a problem. He has already put it aside that I go spend money for court, but today I go blow your nose. He has decided. So he tells the waitress, um, I hear so and so is your manager here. And she said, yes, call him for me. So the manager comes, he sees all of them on the table. Oh, how you doing, guys? Doesn't recognize him. Oh, how you all doing? [laughter] Doesn't even know which one of them sent for him. So he's now he mentions the guy's name. He said, "Oh, he must know me from somewhere." He said, "You don't remember me?" The manager said, "No, at all." And then he mentioned his full name. He said, "Oh my days, I'm glad I had the opportunity to meet you again. I'm so sorry. I was such a jerk." See, he said, "Let me explain to you. My brothers were physically abusive to me. They will beat me at home and then I will come to school and I just look at you and transfer the aggression especially because you were such a brilliant kid. I was jealous of you. What do you do now? He said, "Oh, I'm an I'm an investment lawyer." Something something like that. He said, "I knew you'd be a success. I knew you'd be a success." And that was exactly why I was jealous of you. He said he was telling his staff like this guy, he used to do this, he used to he was so good at mathematics. He was so good at this. And this guy was ashamed of himself. He waited 20 years carrying this beef in his mind for somebody who had changed. He said, he said, "You know what, guys? Your meal is on me. Your meal is on me. I'm just glad to see you again." You know, and now the guy is looking ashamed of himself. disappointed. When you understand that people act the way they act because of the things that other people have done to them, it's emotional intelligence to see through the action and see why. You know, I said it on Wednesday. You see, Jesus was so emotionally intelligent that when he carries people to pray with him and they sleep off, he said the spirit is willing But the FLESH IS WEAK. MY GOD. LISTEN, YOU NEVER REALLY SAW IT THAT WAY. YOU SAW it as a spiritual statement. But that is brilliant emotional intelligence to separate the action from the intention. What if you brought that into your relationship to say this guy is trying, he just doesn't know. And when you see the world through his lens, you see his dad was probably worse. He's an improved VERSION AND HE'S TRYING HIS BEST. [screaming] Look at you complaining about romance and and and affection. Where do you want the average African to learn it? [laughter] The the average African never saw his parents kiss, but the parents have eight children. It's a mystery. IT'S A MYSTERY. SO THE ONLY WAY YOU FIGURE it out is through biology. That okay, these children, we didn't drop from heaven. So I can't prove it, but I know these two people do things. That's the only way you know. AND GUESS WHAT? YOUR PARENTS ALSO ARE. AND I'm at a MASSIVE IMPROVEMENT OF THEIR APPEARANCE. LOOK AT YOU. THE AWARENESS you have to see the inadequacies in their life is because they worked very hard to send you to school and give you the exposure that has pointed some of those things you now notice. That's why That's why you know the day my dad sat me down. I don't like talking about him when he's around. [laughter] [gasps] [panting] The day my dad sat me down and told me some of the things he went through with his dad, I saw him differently and I was said, "Wow, he tried. He really tried." And that's what you see is it's the it's the is the challenge of emotional intelligence. It's easier said than done that you must put yourself in the person's shoes. Come on. Are you getting what I'm saying? Pastor Mario, come up quickly. I did this illustration yesterday when I was preaching in Abbeouta teaching on um salvation, but it applies to emotional intelligence. Now face this way please. Now let's imagine that this floor is a scale from 1 to 100 in terms of emotional intelligence, moral uprightness, responsibility and all those things. And he is at a 70 not because he's such a great person but because he had great parents. I've told you before there are some things that are very hard to replicate. If you grew up in a house where people cared for you, see the mushiness is important. Oh, but the fact that you even had somebody who cared enough to pay your fees, I hope you know not everybody did. At the last camp, a teenager cried out. Her mom had been pimping her out. She wants to go to school. And the mother looked at her 15year-old and said, "You are too beautiful to not have school fees." That's what she told her 15year-old daughter. You you did see you you don't know what you have. And so now if not for the help of God and thank God for the intervention of the church and other things, that person now might be born again and still be struggling with love. And you will say she's not improving, but he starts from here because of the family he grew up in. And she is starting here. Now both of us are improving at the same pace. Pastor Maya take four steps forward. One 2 3 4 stop. Now both of us have moved. We've done the same thing, same prayer, same improvement. We are still at different levels. Whether you like it or not, you don't know the privilege of a head start.
You don't know the privilege. You don't know the privilege. So when you put yourself in people's shoes, you now say what? Despite all you went through, you've made this out of your life. You are a hero. And when you can bring them in, put yourself in their shoes. I can tell you something. They will even listen to you more. You'll be able to influence them more. And that's how lives are going to change. Again, I'm telling you, you can be a tongue speaker and not know these things. Thank you. Thank you. [applause] So, what are the final things I'm going to tell you? You see, if you are going to grow in emotional intelligence, it will take work. Oh, you will practice. Come on. Are you getting what I'm saying? You see that thing Jesus taught that even when you want to worship, when you remember that someone has against you, put it aside. Put your sacrifice aside, go and do what is right. So that's some of the things you can start doing to say it's not okay to go on hurting people and still be praying to God and go on as if my life is normal. It's it's not normal. I'm going to work very hard to deal with this thing. And every one of us has work to do. I myself had and still have work to do. You see, sometimes brilliance can be an a disadvantage. I have a gift. I usually know what to do. I'm a man. I'm fallable. But she had the track record long ago. I'm almost always right. And you see this thing, it was difficult in marriage. Because I'm used to telling people do this and they do it. And you will see the results, but that's not how to lead a home. You will explain why. I learned to explain in marriage. I know learn now for for Bible school you will expl you will calm down oh you sit down and explain step by step and then it doesn't make matters easier that I'm very audacious you want to you want to lead the woman that way okay we'll shut down God said we should shut down this investment sew it as a seed okay So, how do we pay school fees? Do you understand what I'm saying? No, that's just an example. I'm not saying that's I'm not saying that's what's happening. But those are some of the things and every one of us will have work to do. And so, let me put it the way Paul told the church at Thessalonica. He said, "I can't wait to see you to perfect what is lacking in your faith." Some of you, your problem is not tongues. I've I've established that one. Some of you, your problem is you you struggle to accept accountability. Have you seen people that even admitting ignorance is hard for them? I see some people and I laugh. [snorts] Sometimes it's true. A lot of times it's a lie. I put an excerpt out and they comment. I' I've I've been saying this thing. You have not been you are hearing it for the first time. Don't lie. Do you know little things like that can affect you in marriage because you see when you're talking to your wife don't don't don't gloss over her her contributions. say, "Ah, I never saw it that way." Do you know how powerful that is? What I just said now that a woman is talking to you and you let her know that you value her contribution. You're right. That's really wise. You know what? We're going to do that. You see, you are the head of the house, not the coconut head of the house. If you are head, must you be coconuted? Hallelujah. So all I want to leave you with is look at the negative idiosyncrasies in your life. The things that you usually do wrong. Maybe just small feedback you flare up. You know there are some people who can can't take feedback. Church people. You can't take feedback. So you are now going to work on that muscle deliberately for one week. Be asking people deliberately, [laughter] what do you think about this? And as they're giving you the feedback, your whole body will be on fire like as if snake beat you. That's how to grow. You stay there. You listen. For some of you, you don't know how to say sorry. Start looking for people that you've offended. Even if it's 15 years, you just want to grow. When the Lord was teaching me this thing, a lady offended me and the Lord said, "Apologize to her." I said, "Lord, [laughter] you know, I was I always listen to you." Okay, no problem. So, I went to her. I said, "Um, I just want you to know that I'm sorry." He said, "You think I'm angry with you? You think I'm angry with you? If I was angry with you, so I looked at God, I said, I have given you my life. I can't collect it back. [laughter] But you will do hard things to improve. That's the only way. Drop your sacrifice. Go first and make peace. We must be able to tell the quality of your walk with God by the way you treat the people around you. You looked so good this morning in your Sunday best. The way you woripped eh the way you cried. Your cry made us cry. But we want to be able to go to your office, go to your street, ask people about you. You know, some of you if they see your picture in church, they say, "Ah, [laughter] No big [laughter] g. Hallelujah. I had a lot more to share with you. I wanted to tell you about emotional intelligence in choosing and in conversations, but we'll touch on that another time. Were you blessed today? Please rise to your feet.
Praise the Lord.
You know, I saw [laughter] I saw something online and I laughed. Very relatable. Cuz I've seen people jeopardize good relationships. A guy posted a picture of himself and his wife and they were all goofy. In fact, the wife was playbiting him. Just put her teeth on his cheek like this. And they snapped the picture that way. So someone quoted it and said, "God, please do this kind of thing again for me. I now have sense. [laughter] Give me one more chance. I now have sense. I pray for you. Any one of you who has jeopardized good relationships in business, in career, in friendships, marriage, because of trauma, because of things you are not learned, because of emotional unintelligence. I pray [music] for restoration.
Amen.
And more important than restoration because if you don't change, if you don't improve, you will do the same things again. So I pray that the Lord will open your eyes to the correction that you need.
Amen.
I see you improving.
Amen.
I see you getting better.
Amen.
Habits will not change destiny helpers far from you.
Amen.
And when Delilah comes pretending to love you, the Lord will open your eyes.
And I mean that Delila in this context can be man for for women is a man, for men is a woman.
You will not trust the wrong people. You will not marry your enemy in the mighty name of Jesus. Lord, you told me that this church will be known for strong homes. Fulfill your promise in the name of Jesus. We're growing in wisdom.
We are exhibiting the fruits of the spirit. In the mighty name of Jesus. Now we the Bible says in the book of James it says put aside [music] superfluity of naughtiness and embrace the engrafted word able to save your souls. Father in any way we have been naughty stubborn [music] ever learning never able to come to the point of truth. We pray in the name of Jesus that every burden [music] in the regards of what we have been talking about you help us to lay them aside for good in the name of Jesus. The Lord is asking me to pray for somebody. That spirit of anger has left you now.
Thank you father.
Thank you Lord.
In Jesus mighty name we have prayed.
God bless you. Hallelujah. [music]