Transcription
It's that feeling of, "I don't want to disappoint them. I don't want them to not like me."
The mistake happens when you go, "Oh man, that sounds so great and wonderful. I love to, but I can't. I have a full day of meetings." Problem with that: the word "but" has a magic of erasing everything that happened before it. If I like, look, I love you, but I have to say something else, it just takes away. It feels less than what you said.
We want to start with the gratitude. Oh, thank you so much. That sounds wonderful. I can't. Reverse it. Start with the "no," then end with the gratitude. If somebody said, "Hey, can you come to dinner?" I can't. Thank you so much for inviting me. I'd love to meet you or see you the next time around. And if you can't, add some kindness. I've heard that place is awesome. Hope it's a great time.
Like, it's much easier if you tell them that you can't upfront. Have you ever had somebody tell you "no" to an invitation and they're like, "I've just been so busy and you know, I might be able to go. I'll let you know if I can. And if anything changes, I'll definitely let you know." Like, if you don't want to go, just tell me.