Transcription
I was becoming paralyzed and I was paralyzed up to my chest, but I I could still move my arms and my mouth and my head. They gave me the medication for it, but the pain did not subside. As a matter of fact, it kept getting worse and worse and worse. And I had this hospitalist. I felt like he was ignoring me. And so, I remember the last time him being in my hospital room with me. He said, "I've given you 4 milligs of morphine. I've or 2 milligs of morphine. and I'm up to 4 milligrams. This should be done. I've been treating you for the seed of colitis. I think you're a drug seeker."
Something inside of me was so angry. But I heard something say, "Make a scene. Make it big or you won't make it out."
My name is Megan Brown and I grew up in the Roman Catholic background. Um, I was baptized. I was, you know, I had my first Holy Communion, confirmation. I was involved in the church until I was 20 years old. And that's when my life changed by a very traumatic experience of being raped. And in that rape, I became pregnant. And I knew that well I wasn't married and this was totally against the church and the church you know looks at abortion as murder but I was raped. So what was I going to do? Well I had two choices and I made the other choice. I made the choice of abortion. And it it was a time in my life because I felt throughout my entire life growing up that I was controlled by what to do. Um who defined me as a good person, who defined me as being good enough or pretty enough or worthy enough. And it was always my parents and what I was being taught in the church. And finally when that trauma happened in my life, it was it was just that push over an edge, a personal edge within me where I couldn't take anyone else telling me how to live, how I should be, what everything is about, who God is. It didn't make any sense to me. So the choice that I had was to remove myself completely from the church and I became an atheist. So I'm not sorry that I did because I was proclaiming a belief that I was feeling at that time that I didn't want to be associated with anything because it was as far as I was concerned it was all a lie. So that's how it all started.
For 18 years after the rape and the abortion, I held on to this deep, deep wound of shame and guilt. And I had already forfeited any any sort of hope in my life of being redeemed, I guess, in any way. and and that if there was a God, cuz I remember saying it a few times in my 20s to myself. I said, "If there's a God, he's really going to have to show it to me." But at the same time, I wasn't saying that there was a God, but I'd grown up Catholic. And I remember I finally got married. We had a son together. It was amazing. I was living this life that was it it actually it brought me a happiness that I I'd never thought I could feel in my life as a wife and a mother. So it was really incredible until my near-death experience, my third near-death experience, as a matter of fact.
And I um I had gone through my day, gone, you know, worked out at the gym and done my whole thing, put my son to bed, you know, read to him before I went upstairs myself, got ready for bed. And this pain in my stomach kept getting worse and worse and worse. And that pain was actually diagnosed later. It was a very long story of how I got to that diagnosis, but it was cediff colitis. And I'd never had anything like that before and it was very severe. Um I was I was admitted into the hospital which was I had to be transferred from one hospital to another because they didn't have an endocrinologist in the hospital in this really small town where I was living at the time. And they they took me to a city and um that's where they had the X-ray machines and the endocrinologist and they could see oh my god yeah she's really in trouble here. So they gave me the medication for it, but the pain did not subside. As a matter of fact, it kept getting worse and worse and worse. And I had this hospitalist who every time he'd come into the room, which wasn't very often, um he I felt like he was ignoring me. And so I remember the last time him being in my hospital room with me and he stood there, but I was trying to be very clear for him because I thought if he doesn't know what's going on, then how will he make a correct decision of what to do in my situation? So I gave him all of the information that I could about how I was feeling. And in this response from him in that moment, he said, "I've given you 4 milligs of morphine. I've or 2 milligs of morphine. I've uped you to 4 milligrams. This should be done. I've been treating you for the seed of colitis. I think you're a drug seeker."
Now, mind you, I had abs. I had muscles. I was working out all the time. But something inside of me was so angry in that moment and I'll never forget it because again in my life and this was a theme and this has been a theme in my life. Everybody gets one, okay, or two or three, but this is one of them about being ignored and not being heard for my truth. So I didn't know what I was being introduced to by now I refer to as heaven which is love. It's just a location of love. I didn't know what they were what they were teaching me through this whole experience. So for the first time I heard something I heard something say make a scene make it big or you won't make it out. And I'm just laying there thinking, "Okay, I I don't even know who said this, but I've got nothing to lose except my life." Because I really thought that I was just going to die and be buried or cremated or whatever. And that was the end. And I wouldn't get to go home and, you know, be a wife and mother any longer. And I was really pissed because this was the only six years of my life, of my entire life up to that point, that I had been so happy. And so I was very, very scared. But I thought, I have nothing to lose. So I looked at the doctor, hospitalist, and I said, "You're fired. I need another doctor. Get me another doctor." I just whatever I said to him. And he stood there, just stared at me, didn't response. Looked at me as though I were, I don't know, a patient having a personal crisis, which I was. I was having a personal physical crisis in front of him. So he didn't believe me and then I thought well I better make this a bigger scene. So what I did was because I was explaining to him also I should make this clear that with this disease that he didn't know that I had at that moment because I wasn't tested for it yet. I was becoming paralyzed and I was paralyzed up to my chest but I I could still move my arms and my mouth and my head. I couldn't stand up. They were winding me up on a a like a big tarp, the nurses in the mornings, to weigh me uh to keep calculating how much weight I was gaining in fluid. And I'd gained 43 lbs of fluid in 3 days. So, here I am able to still move my arms. And I decided I'm going to rattle the bed rails. I started yelling. I was in a Catholic hospital, which was ideal for me because I know exactly what to say to be offensive in a Catholic hospital. And I did. And I got attention. I I looked at him and I demanded that he leave my room using any word that I wanted in that moment. And I did. And finally, um, a nurse came in. Um, I'm sorry, ma'am. We don't have a doctor for you. And again, I had to threaten her. And I made a scene again until I was heard. And I did get another hospitalist who came in, but immediately that woman knew, "Oh my god." I mean, I I'll never forget her face. I I must have looked like a horror scene because I was gray. I was gray and I was I was dying. And that's what I was trying to tell this previous hospitalist. But anyway, she did the correct test that showed I was in kidney failure. So my body was responding to what was happening inside. I was literally dying and the um the doctors then took it very seriously um immediately took me up to a dialysis and they understood because they kept doing the research like why is she in kidney failure? Why is this? Why is this? And it's an um an autoimmune disease that I had acquired called TTPHUS and it stands for thrombotic thrombocyopenia perura hemolytic uremic syndrome and the syndrome part means anything can happen other than you know like like the definitives in this are that your platelets your white blood cell count your red blood cell count um everything in your body is going to go in different directions and my platelets kept dropping and dropping dropping and dropping and low normal is something like 150,000 depending on the hospital that you're in and I think at that time it was third I was at 30,000 which is not the lowest I mean people get lower but um in that moment I was at 30,000 and they knew oh my god she is dying so then boom I get started treating I get started being treated differently um on account of them knowing what it was that was happening to me.
They did move me to another room um at my request because as I was in this what I would call a coma um during this experience, I opened my eyes and grabbed this nurse's wrist. I didn't even know she was next to me, but she was the dialysis nurse and ICU nurse. I wasn't in ICU, but I knew she was both. She was really, really amazing. And I grabbed her wrist and I said, "You have to get me off of this floor. I'm going to die here." And her response to me was, "Well, that's too much paperwork for me." She said, "You know, I'm going to call my husband. He's the head nurse on the sixth floor, which is the sickest sickest room or sickest floor in this hospital, and I'll have you moved." And she did. And that's what took me to the next level in order for me to heal.
So, it was eight weeks in the hospital. Um I had you know dialysis followed by plasma feresis. I had to have blood transfusions in the beginning because it is um a blood uh disease and it's basically poisoning of the blood and they didn't know how that happened to me. And I remember this nurse she graded me the head nurse on in the diialysis unit and she said I need your permission to start blood transfusions. And I I started asking her like, "Well, I could get hepatitis. I could I could get AIDS. I could get, you know, somebody's disease. I I can't do that." And she said, "I need," she again, she said it firmly. And again, I heard that voice um that I heard with that other nurse or doctor rather um on the right before, you know, getting transferred here and it said, "Just say yes." And I thought, okay. So I said yes. And that's when everything changed.
And I remember this is when the actual out-of- body experience happened. I just remember walking through the clouds and I remember it being a park atmosphere where it was green grass. There were trees off, you know, and like in front of me, right, and to my left. I remember this. And there were clouds in the sky, blue sky with birds flying. It was so incredibly beautiful. And I remember looking to my left and it was Jesus standing there. And I thought I I just I just knew it as though I remembered him. And I said to him, "Oh my god, you really do exist." I I couldn't believe. and he smiled and opened up his arms and he was basically inviting me to come and give him a hug. So I did and then he turned me with him to walk with him and he said, "Come on, we have a lot of work to do." He took me to go meet my other guides, Archangel Michael, Mother Mary, Elmoria, and St. Germaine. And we went into we stepped inside this golden capsule where there was this it's like a TV screen, but there were no cords. Everything was just there was no electrical outlet. I don't remember seeing anything that like that. But I remember my entire life played out in front of me from the moment of my conception. And every experience that I had in my life, I had to live again. Not only did I hear my thoughts and feel my fears or happiness or illness or or disappointment or resentment. Um, I had to hear the other person and what they were thinking in those moments. And so that was very difficult where I had been sexually abused as a child. I'd had a really horrible fatal car accident, which was my first NDE, as a matter of fact. Um, I had to look at all of this again. I had to watch my best friend and her mother die. I was in their car. I had to I had to live all of that pain again. So I remember this experience being it was almost like it's the way that I can describe it is it's it's like heaven's um therapy session with you as you go through it because they'll pause. However they paused it, it was they stopped it and they watched me go through the emotions and experience and feel everything and they loved me through it. They were just my rocks in that moment and I am so so grateful. So they allowed me to just reveal what it was that I was feeling in every moment. And after that um we left and then I was led to Archangel Michael's golden capsule and he and I stepped inside of his capsule and then the others waited outside and I remember first he had me kneel. I had to like or he said prayers. There was something around prayer that happened but then I had to stand up and he ordered me to tilt my head back and hold my arms out and look, you know, up to the ceiling and he started speaking Psalm 91 over my soul and his hand was up with this white beam of light just hitting my soul. What I felt with such great intensity was a love and a warmth that I I had never received in my life. And I didn't know what that meant. I I thought, "Oh my god, I never want to stop feeling this." And so I started weeping while he was saying this prayer. And when he was done saying it, he asked me, "Megan, why are you crying?" And I said, "Oh my god." I was so honest with him because I knew that I had to be. For some reason, I like I couldn't not tell. So, I said, "I've been such an to all of you. I' I didn't believe in you. I didn't believe in Jesus. I don't know what I'm dealing with right now. I have no idea where I'm at. I don't know, but I've been horrible to, you know, all of you by saying that you didn't exist." And he just calmly looked at me and said, "I'm not here to judge you. I'm here to love you." And I take that moment with me even now in life. So through the ups and downs that I've experienced in my life, I remind myself of that moment. They're loving me through every experience.
You know, you come back from an NDE and it's not just I mean there's there's great feelings that I have and there's there's a new freshness that comes about within. this is what I have felt and I'm excited about that and I don't want that to change but that doesn't mean that my life is not going to have more challenges and that my life is not going to be um another class that I have to show up for. So that's that's how I look at it now as a result of my NDE.
There are two very important messages that I'd like to share here on this platform um that I'm finding in my life now are so incredibly important that I I just I want everybody to start teaching this wherever they go. Just teach this. The first order um to me by God was tell everyone acceptance is synonymous with love. And if any of you are sitting here going, "Okay, well, what happened to the abortion?" So, what did God think of the abortion? I'll tell you right now, within the first five minutes of realizing this was God in front of me. Okay? So, I felt like, "Oh my gosh, I'm in heaven." D. He said, "Oh, and about that abortion, and I thought this is where I was going to get ejected to hell because I really thought that I was going to go to hell. I I didn't believe in heaven, and there I was in heaven at God's table." But he said, "You can't kill a soul. All you did was send him back to us and we took care of him until you were ready for him and he's waiting for you back on Earth. So my son now is the son that I had aborted when I was 20 years old.
The next part was when I was inside of heaven. I don't know what day quote unquote day it was um when Jesus walked up to me and said, "Megan, can I talk to you for a moment?" And I thought, "Well, yeah, of course. you're Jesus. I mean, I'm not going to tell you now, right? So, um, he pulls me aside and we were just standing and it was it was private. I don't know if we were standing in, you know, a a church or a library. I have no idea where we were, but we were standing and he said, "What is it that that you still seem to be struggling with?" And I said, "You know, I have a really difficult time wondering why all of the abuse happened to me when I was a kid. why, you know, I had that horrible car accident I had to deal with. Why the rape? Why the abortion? Why where were my parents? Where were the Catholic police? Like, why didn't I have any protection? So, he could, and I was clearly upset. And he said, "Megan, what if I were to tell you every experience that you've had as a child within you? What would you do to those children?" And without hesitation, I said, "Evict them immediately. they're old enough and they can take care of themselves. And Jesus very softly and matterof factly responded, "Okay, well, I see that we have more work to do here." So, he continued talking and they didn't let me remember what that whole conversation was about, but I remember at the end he asked me a question again. And he said, "Megan, I'm going to ask you a question again." Now, knowing what I've just shared with you, how would you treat every experience that you've been through who is the child within you? What would you do to these children? And then he followed it up immediately and said, "And keep in mind these children are you. Holy God, I literally, it was like a light bulb moment for me and I with absolute clarity realized I need to acknowledge them. I need to listen to them. I need to nurture them and I need to love them. And I told him this and he said, "Wow, that's beautiful." And he said, "If you could name them, what would you name them?" And my final response after I thought about it for a moment in embarrassment because I was standing in front of Jesus, I couldn't believe that I didn't have all of this figured out and I was being really hard on myself in that moment. Um, but I told him I would name everything love. Every child, every experience love because it was love that took me into this life. It was love that orchestrated what it was that I needed to heal from previous lives on this planet. And I realized that love gifted me with opportunities to graduate into moments of it's like a I guess the best way that I can describe this is a self-realization within where am I going to respond and or react you know with anger or resentment any longer or judgment or am I going to look at this situation ation and experience in front of me as being an opportunity to listen differently. And that's where I'm at now. And that didn't happen overnight. Okay. I mean, yes, I it definitely got um things got lit up. It's like I came back from this NDE having um I could see colors clearer. I could hear things differently. Um, I I don't even know how to describe how crisp the life came around me when I finally went outside. When I got to go outside, um, cuz it took a while to get there, I could see the colors in the clouds. I could see the colors of the trees. I could see the flowers. I could I could feel things so differently. It was really, really incredible.
And if you know, if you just take one thing away from what I'm sharing here, whether or not you believe in God, whether or not you believe in Prophet Muhammad, Jesus, Archangel Michael, Quan, St. Germaine, Mother Mary, it's irrelevant because heaven is not a religion. Heaven is a location and it is the highest and holiest frequency of love. This is where we are from. This is where we can go back to. But what I've learned in the past 18 years since this NDE is that we can have heaven on earth and we can choose to bring heaven into our lives every single day.
So, I know everything that I'm sharing right now seems like a lot, and it is. Um, but God ordered me to write a book. That was within the first 5 minutes of me sitting at his table. He said, "And you will be writing a book." And I told him, "I'm not a I've never written a book before." He said, "I don't care." So, I had to come back. back and it took me what was it 15 years. I wrote it 10 years ago like in 2022 I get a visit from heaven and they came and they said you have until November and it was the middle of August at that moment. So 2 days later I decided I better ask what I had until I said yes. Okay, great. I I thought well let me get clarity on what it is I have until November about. And they said put the book out. So, I put the book out. Anyway, it's called A Catalyst, My Five Days in Heaven. And it's there's a lot in there, but still not everything because I felt really I know God told me to talk about everything, but I I wasn't ready to talk about some of some of the things that I'm now sharing in my next book called The Structure of Love. So, um you can look for that, too. But you can go to my website, conversationswithmegan.com, and um read my blog posts. Some of them are channelneled messages from archangel Michaelich. Um, there's, you know, stuff for you to look at there. And you'll see what books I've written. And um anyway, I wish you the best of everything and may peace be upon you and your life in all ways, always, always.