Transcription
So how do you tell if he's actually really into you? Right? Question that I get all the time. So I wanted to create a video around it and get into some of the details here. So stick around if you are interested in finding out what some of the signs are that he's actually really into you.
In case you don't know who I am, my name is Danny. I am a love and self-esteem coach that works with gay and bisexual men. Um, and again, I wanted to create this video because it's a question that I get asked all the time. It's something that I experienced myself, and I think it's a really important question to ask, right?
So, what is the first sign that he is into you? He wants to spend time with you. He wants to invest the time and the energy into getting to know you. That is first and foremost, right? Because if the person is not wanting to spend time, if the person is super just kind of like aloof and not really contacting you, and they're inconsistent in their communication, why are you wasting your time? Right? If you are looking for a serious, long-term relationship, then you have no time in your life for people who have no time for you. So, he is wanting to spend more time with you.
Um, the second thing here, which is piggybacking off of what I just said, um, is he's consistent with his communication, right? Uh, you don't have to guess when the next time is he's going to text you or call you. You don't have to sit there and wonder if he ghosted you because you haven't heard from him in 24 to 48 hours or 72 hours or a week. You don't have to sit there and wonder whether he's interested in you or not because he is showing up. He is communicating consistently. And even if he is busy, even if you guys don't talk for hours on end or maybe even a day or two, at least he's communicating with you and saying, "Hey, I have these really important projects that are coming up. I'm probably going to be really hyper-focused on this, so please don't get worried if you don't hear from me. I'm just doing, I'm just focusing on this right now, but I'll in on you periodic." Like those kinds of things is an indication to me that he is interested. It's an indication that he is wanting to take things to the next level, maybe not right away, but it shows that he's investing the time and he's investing the, the effort and the energy.
The third thing here is he invites you on a follow-up date. This is huge, right? Um, usually first dates are pretty indicator of whether things are going to move forward or not. I have a three-date minimum rule when I'm working with a client, which is to try to go on a date with somebody that you have interest in at least three times because that gives you the opportunity to get to know them, um, a little bit deeper, right? Not just on a surface level. So if he is suggesting a second date, that is a great sign. That shows that there, there is some interest there. That shows that he felt a connection, that felt that he is, um, excited to get to see you again. So obviously, you're going to say yes.
The fourth thing here is he's curious about you and he asks questions. There, there is no better form of flattery than for somebody to ask you about your life, your interests, your goals, what makes you happy. Because that also tells me that he is, number one, taking a genuine interest in you as an individual, and number two, he's probably storing those things in his mind to remember for later. So when he does take you on that second date or that third date, he can incorporate some of those things that he learned about you. Um, again, it all really just boils down to investment of time and energy. And if he is asking you questions, if he's wanting to know more about you, that means he's wanting to know more than just the surface level. That means that he's actually interested in taking in information and evaluating for himself if this is something that he wants to pursue, right? Because that also tells me that he is looking for a serious relationship. That also tells me that he is, um, in a position to find a partner.
Um, the fifth thing here is he tells you he likes you. Plain and simple. Pretty straightforward, pretty obvious. I don't really think there needs to be much interpretation here. If he says to you, "I like you," "I'm into you," "I think you're attractive," "I love your mind," "You're super interesting," "I enjoy being around you," "I feel a lot." Like all of those key phrases and words are great signs, right? Those are, those are probably the most, the most obvious way of figuring out whether somebody is into you or not is then just verbally confirming for you that they are into you.
And the last thing here is that he invites you to come over. Um, he invites you over to his place. And the reason why I put this last is because in the queer community, inviting somebody to come over to your place is not an uncommon thing. It's very common, in fact, it's part of most people's interactions when it comes to dating because it's either you're trying to get to know that person for, um, to potentially be in a relationship with them, or it's just a hookup and it's a casual situation. So we don't like to waste time, we get right to the point, and that's it. But if he's inviting you over and he is approaching that situation delicately in the sense that he is still wanting to get to know you, he is not putting pressure on you for anything. Um, and even more impressive for me is if that person doesn't try to make a move on you when they invite you over because that tells me that there's a level of emotional intelligence there. That tells me that they are prioritizing the right things. That tells me that they're wanting to get to know you a little bit more before it gets to that place, and they're trying to approach this differently than they would have any other situation or circumstance in the past.
Now, you may sit here and tell me, "Oh, you're disproved, you're crazy, you don't know what you're talking about. Just because you hook up on a first date doesn't mean that it's going to ruin the experience or the potential for a relationship." And I get all that, right? There are people out there that have, um, gotten into relationships after a hookup night or whatever the case may be. But there's also something to be said about being intentional and about, um, withholding and about actually, I don't want to use the word withholding, I want to say having some discipline and being able to prioritize getting to know that person on a mental, emotional level first before you jump to the physical side of things. To me, that is an indication of somebody who is in a different mindset. That's an indication to me of somebody who's at a different place in their life, and they're looking for something more serious and more companion partner-oriented. Um, and when I say companion, I don't mean in the sense of like zero intimacy in the relationship, no. I just mean somebody to share life with and to grow and to build and to achieve goals together.
So these are all the signs that he is probably into you. And if you've experienced some of these, fantastic. If you've never experienced these, now you know what to look out for. Let me know what your experience has been. Let me know if you've, um, experienced any of these things that I am talking about, or maybe you had your own that you would like to share. Either way, let me know what you think. I love having these interactions with you guys. Like I say all the time, that's really what it's about is connecting and building community and sharing our experiences because I think there's value in, no, I know there's value in that.
Um, that being said, please make sure you are subscribing and liking, um, the video and the page if this is something that you find to be helpful and interesting. And yeah, I guess the only other thing that I would ask is please follow me on my other social media platforms. I would really appreciate it. I will put all the information in the description down below, um, for all the other platforms. All right, I hope you guys are having an amazing day, and I'll see you guys in the next video.