Transcription
Tonight's caller is 36 years old, an entrepreneur based in Los Angeles, and she says marriage and children are priority, but only under very specific conditions. She wants a traditional setup, minimal financial responsibility, and a husband earning well into the top 1% all while she figures out her own path. She believes she's done the inner work. She's invested in therapy, personal development, and building a business. But as the conversation unfolds, it becomes clear there's a growing gap between her expectations, her market position, and the reality of the men she's aiming for. What starts as a discussion about balance, purpose, and partnership quickly turns into a deeper breakdown of lifestyle inflation, hypergamy, impostor syndrome, and the risks of building your life around a future that statistically may never arrive. All credit goes to Kevin Samuels. Please support the original content to help preserve his legacy.
>> What do you do for a living?
>> I'm an entrepreneur building a business. Um, so starting from scratch
>> and what?
>> Finance.
>> Okay.
>> Uh, so how are you going to find balance in life?
>> That's what I'm looking to create. Um, still trying to figure that out. I've never had any a male figure be direct with me of what I'm doing wrong. So, I honestly feel like I've just been kind of like in loss trying to figure it all out. And so, that's why I wanted to jump on because I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.
>> Doing what outcome do you want?
>> I do want to get married and having children is priority for me as well.
>> How many children do you want?
>> Two children. Two or three. And
>> what state do you live in?
>> I live in California. Los Angeles. Why do you want to get married?
>> I've always had the desire. I do realize when I was younger, it was coming from when I look back cuz I've done personal development, it was coming from an abandonment wound. I've taken time to like heal that piece. And now I realize that I do want to build something with somebody that I can have a soulmate connection and also be a power couple with and and change the trajectory of my family because we don't come from um marriage. I want to show that as an example for my kids.
>> How long you watch my programs? Anything like that?
>> Off and on. Not too much. Um,
>> well, what do you think I'm going to What do you think I'm about to say right now?
>> I want you to give it to me difficult like hard because I'm just saying the myth of the power couple is something that was marketed to black women. What is a power couple? That means we're partners.
>> No. Um, are you asking me, sorry, or is that a
>> power couple? That means we're partners. You have two or three children. Which one?
>> Two.
>> Do you want your kids to be able to go to college if they want to?
>> Yes.
>> Do you want to travel nationally and internationally with your children?
>> Both.
>> Uh, do you want to have to work to pay significant bills after you're pregnant and married with your first child?
>> Yes. Like
>> you won't have to work to pay significant bills when you're pregnant.
>> Oh, significant bills. No,
>> significant. Yeah. Significant bills right now. Okay. So, what percent what uh percentage of the family financial load do you want to have to be responsible for for an entire lifetime?
>> I would say 30 to 40%.
>> Okay. 30 to 40% means if you stop working for any reason, you stop bringing in income for any reason, the family is at serious risk. Serious risk meaning you will not be able to stop working for under any circumstances. Is that what you're saying?
>> That's a good question. Um, no. Ideally, no. Because not working while you're pregnant doesn't line up with 30 to 40%. So what percentage of the overall family financial load do you want to have to be responsible for? This is not negotiable. It has to be done.
>> No, I appre um I would say 10% honestly.
>> Okay. 10%. Um, how much would a man need to make in LA to afford a two children, a wife, and himself to live an an upper class life?
>> I would definitely say 500,000 or more.
>> Give me a give me a Don't give me a more. Just give me a number.
>> 650. 650,000.
>> All right. Do you care if he's black or not?
>> No, I'm open.
>> Okay. You're 36?
>> Yes.
>> Have you had a serious relationship with a non-black man?
>> Yes, I have.
>> Uh, how long did it last?
>> It lasted a year. Year and a half.
>> How tall are you?
>> I'm 5'5.
>> Dress size?
>> Four.
>> Okay. And your last serious relationship is how long ago?
>> My last serious relationship was six years ago.
>> Okay. And the last time you've been intimate within the last 12 months?
>> Eight months ago.
>> All right. So, ma'am, what percentage of men earn $650,000 or more?
>> Well, from the conversation I heard you speak about earlier, um it sound like it was less than 10%. 10% of men earn $100,000.
>> Okay.
>> 3% of men make a quarter $300,000 $250,000 or $500,000. 3% of men make Okay. 10% $100,000. Top 5% around quarter million. 300,000 you start dropping around 3%. You kill over 500,000 you're talking about 1% and you're talking more than that. So you're talking about a fraction of a percent. So if he can meet So if a man they can meet that and how you said how tall five what?
>> Say that again.
>> How tall are you again? You said you're 5' what?
>> I'm 5'5. 5'8 with heels.
>> Okay. So how tall does he need to be?
>> Um anywhere like 5'8 and taller. I'm flexible.
>> Okay. Uh, if this man can meet your socioeconomic standard, which is rather on the higher side, it's fair to say he can meet most women's. Why would a man choose you over thousands of other women? That's a question.
>> That's a great question and I still feel like I'm figure out how to market myself. I do feel like I've been a firm believer in personal development. Um, I think a lot of us don't come from backgrounds where we were provided with stuff. So, I'm constantly seeking this knowledge. That's why I'm on here.
>> But, but, but what would you have? But, you have to give me something though. You know yourself better than I do. So, don't tell me I don't
>> I would say one thing that is my strength is I'm a very social person. So, when I think of somebody who is in that um income bracket, I feel like I would their business because of the social like relationships that I have. I'm I would be that connector. I'm really known for being a good like networker. So, I think I'd be add
>> Do you know any men that earn that kind of money?
>> Not personally. No.
>> Um, do you know any men who earn over $400,000 a year?
>> Not. Yes, I do.
>> You do or don't?
>> I do.
>> Are they married?
>> No, they're single. Uh, what do you think a man who makes that kind of income, what is some of the things they would want from a woman?
>> I definitely feel they want a baddy for sure.
>> A what?
>> A baddy. Like they want somebody who is like
>> a 10 10 for sure. Um, somebody who's wellkept, well put, dresses well, speaks well, um, articulate great conversation, can be in a crowd with anybody and be able to be put together.
>> You just described a man.
>> I described a man.
>> You're describing the prototypical Tyler Perry, Sex in the City, Metro female fantasy. Men at that level tend to be very traditional. They're housewives were raised to be housewives. They're not socialites. They're not networking. They don't need you to network. They already the the ends are meeting like a [ __ ] with these guys. So you ladies have been told, "Go out and get your PhD."
>> I'm a PhD.
>> And then you go out here and you can network and help build a business. They don't need you for that.
>> Would your kids be in private school or public school?
>> I would like them to be homeschooled.
>> All right. Would you have a housekeeper?
>> Yes. Would you have somebody to help prepare food the meals?
>> I like to cook. My love language. One of my love languages.
>> Cooking. Cooking isn't a love language.
>> I It's
>> But I'm asking, would you have would somebody would help you with the household chores, but they wouldn't cook?
>> Yes.
>> They Yes, they would or no, they wouldn't.
>> I like to cook. I personally like to cook.
>> Yes, they would or no, they wouldn't.
>> No, they would not. Uh would you have a nanny?
>> Yes.
>> So you want a housekeeper and a nanny? So effectively you're going to incubate a baby.
>> Yes.
>> So basically what a man at that that level effectively gets your DNA. There's another woman in the house to help tend the house. Another woman to help raise the children. He gets your DNA. What kind of professions would a man need to have legally to make $650,000 or more legally?
>> He would have to be in finance, attorney, anesthesiologist.
>> Doing what? Finance. Doing what?
>> Um, I would suppose he'd have to be like a financial advisor.
>> For whom?
>> For um athletes or the 1% wealthy, managing funds for them.
>> Okay. And you said an attorney. an attorney.
>> What kind of attorney? What kind of attorney?
>> Um, entertainment attorney. Um, corporate law.
>> Okay. What else?
>> What are the other type? Um, they would have to be in finance. I would say like, you know, stocks, things of that sort, like Wall Street. Those are the ones that come to my mind right now.
>> Well, ma'am, you want this high, you want this high post, man. I think you should be able to know at least what he does. See, that's what I'm showing. You ladies, ladies like yourself, you want this luxury lifestyle and you can't even give me five professions to that you would look into. Okay. Well, let's go on the other side. Um, and an average or above average man average man makes 40,500. Would you date an average man? Seriously. I have. May I can I
>> Would you marry an average man?
>> Yes.
>> That means you'd have to work and bring home substantial money
>> because your lifestyle and his lifestyle are different. You need a bread. You would do that. That's why I I feel toggled between the two and that's why I work my business right now because I tried dating guys that were um I guess you would say the average blue. The answer is no. Well, yes.
>> Can you ask the question one more time? I'm sorry.
>> Would you decrease your lifestyle and your standard of living to marry an average man?
>> No, I would not decrease my lifestyle.
>> All right. So, this is the problem. You women your age too old. your standards are too high, your standard of living is too high, and you've outpaced the market. You don't know what the men do. You know, yes, attorneys, but even you're talking about specialized attorneys. You're talking about people in the uh service class and they're servicing the elite. That's a very very small group. The group they service is small and the group that the group that services them even smaller and what they don't go looking for is a partner and they don't just go looking for DNA. They tend to go looking for women who are housewives who are going to provide them a quality of life. You are effectively a luxury womb in another bill. No shade because homeschool but you want a nanny, you want a housekeeper. So your job description is going to be I have sex with my husband and I produce these children. And then after the second child is produced, then what? What is your job after the second child is produced? Someone is in the house taking care of it. Somebody's in the house raising it. What do you do? because you don't want to pay more than 10%.
>> Can I share something?
>> Yeah, but I Hello. Go ahead.
>> So, um, when I've tried dating guys that were like the last gentleman that I was dating, he was a truck driver and what was coming up was he was expressing that just the way I dress and put myself together, he was intimidated by the way I put myself together. Although I was okay with meeting him where he was at, it became a problem. And so through that journey and kind of looking back at it, I felt like I had to level up my standards because I felt like I kept coming against a wall when I am trying to date somebody for just truly getting to know them.
>> Well, the problem isn't the truck driver. The problem is why you The problem is why and when you were 22 years old, weren't you looking to be married?
>> I was looking to get married. Okay. You been engaged?
>> Yes, I have.
>> Who called up the engagement?
>> I did.
>> Why?
>> Um, it was emotionally abusive.
>> So, you not had you've not dealt with any single men in your life that were marriage-minded?
>> I did not know how to look for that at the time. No.
>> So, the answer is you have. He just didn't know.
>> Yes. So you weren't really looking because if you weren't available to receive it. So do you make room for the possibility of the fact that this is what tends to happen with women? You're hypergamous. You want a man to have at least what you have. What happens the longer you work in your profession? You make more money. The older one gets, the more you the more you've experienced. You want a man that's way up here. But your sexual marketplace value is down here relative to this. And if this man is up here, just like you would have to settle, he'd have to settle. Is it fair to ask him to settle?
>> No.
>> Then he's not going to. And if you don't actually get somebody and what happens, do you earn over six figures?
>> No, I don't. Not right now. Six figures.
>> Excuse me.
>> Have you ever earned over six figures?
>> Yes, I did.
>> For how long?
>> Uh, three years
>> in LA?
>> Yes.
>> Over 200,000?
>> Not over 200,000? No.
>> Over 150?
>> Less than 150.
>> So, due respect, you were making about
>> 125.
>> So, that's that was like making $63,000 in Atlanta. So ma'am, the way you kind of come across your image is like you're making a quarter million dollars in Dallas and Houston. You're you're an above average earning woman. Okay. But you have But you want a man who's making multiples more. What does your father do for a living?
>> My dad is unfortunately um
>> What did he do for a living? He's he was an X-ray tech and uh um owned like real estate.
>> What did your mother do for a living?
>> He was an RN.
>> Okay. So your your your your mother and father were middle class?
>> Yes.
>> Why in the hell are you looking for a rich man?
>> Because the guys like I said that I was meeting.
>> No. No ma'am. No ma'am. No ma'am. You were middle class. Your degree is in what?
>> It was in sociology.
>> Sociology. One of those useless degrees.
>> Yeah. So, what I'm getting from you is a woman who has this I have this look, this air, and that's cool, but you're not an elite. You're you're you're middle class. You were from a middle class family and you're out of your league. And you know, I'm not I'm trying to be as political as I can, but oftentimes our women, they get these degrees and they start to think you're they're up here and your mom wasn't right and your dad was an X-ray tech. That means you get somewhere between RN and X-ray tech. You got a degree in sociology. You're not making what you made before. You're in finance now. I don't know what that means. Primica. What? What is that?
>> Yeah. Network market. Yeah.
>> Prim. I know. And how do I know these things people? Because I I I I don't just talk.
>> I understand.
>> So your standard is extremely high. And uh I'm going say this in the nicest way I can, but you almost come across as like you're like a impostor syndrome. Mhm.
>> So when you say you dated a truck driver and you dressed a certain way and he felt intimidated, but the truck driver was probably earning was he earning what you were making.
>> He would always complain about money. So he presented it like he wasn't.
>> What kind of truck driver
>> um at the port in s in like
>> Okay.
>> But see and see the thing is the men are talking about up there, they're also going to look at your pedigree. They're going to look at where you come from. They're going to look at your school. They're going to look at your parents. They're going to look at who you dated. They're going to like, uh, no, because they're going to bring you around their partners in a law firm. They're going and unfortunately all that and 36 and then you really don't want to work. You want to be taken care of. You're you're too old for that. You worked all this time. Do you have student loan debt?
>> No, I don't.
>> Well, you worked all this time. Why do you get to retire now? Because you have two kids?
>> Absolutely not.
>> That doesn't even sound like close to a fair deal.
>> So, what would you say like for me, who would be like the that I should be looking for?
>> That match? Well, socioeconomically, you'd be you'd be good to have somebody who's like an accountant, somebody who's like in tech, uh, software engineer, systems engineer, somebody's making 80, anywhere from 60 to 85. But my concern is, and maybe this is maybe this is because you're a little nervous or whatever, and everybody responds differently, but you you don't come across like you said, the way you dealt with that truck driver. If I asked the truck driver dating you was blank, how do you think he would say he experienced you?
>> I couldn't answer that.
>> Do you like to find the things in life?
>> I do.
>> I don't like saying no to myself for opportunities and experiences.
>> But where did you get this? Okay. Can you afford these things?
>> I I find a I find a way to
>> That means no. You find a way to pay for them. That means you know you cannot afford them.
>> Okay. Afford means you can afford to pay for them three times over in cash after all your obligations are met. Can you afford these things?
>> No.
>> Then it's almost like you're kind of living a pretentious lifestyle. So you're putting yourself in environments and places around that's why I said the impostor thing. So, and I don't want to get too much into that because I don't know you and I don't want to imply, but I'm telling you what I feel what I'm getting from you. Um, that men that are on your level and did you feel like you were settling for the trucker?
>> No, my heart was in.
>> You said that how long ago was that guy?
>> How long ago? Uh, that was six months ago.
>> Six months ago. Um,
>> I'm sorry. But you said your longest your longest relationship was six years ago. How long did that last?
>> That was for a year.
>> What's the longest relationship you've ever had?
>> A year and a half.
>> Okay. Sounds like you've had some counseling or some therapy.
>> Yeah, I've had to.
>> Okay. So, are you openly affectionate?
>> Yes, I am. Are you are you do you express your affection in words?
>> Yes, I'm very articulate with emotional intelligence.
>> So of all your but okay of your relationships, how many of them a man has left you?
>> One.
>> How were you when that relationship happened?
>> I was not any of the right now at all. I was in my I was I was not anything that I told you and I was in my coma at that time. So I was not showing my best.
>> So how old? I said just I said how old? How old?
>> Oh
>> I was this was I was 28.
>> Okay. Um and how many relationships have you had?
>> I've had four.
>> So three out of the four you left.
>> Yes.
>> Okay. Well ma'am um I I would say that, you know, um if you've already done the work, the therapy, but there's there's still something a miss. And I know what I'm feeling right now. Um and I don't want to get into it right now, but there's something that's still a skew. And what I'm getting is a little bit like you have this picture in your mind of what a relationship should be and it'll never be that. It's like, you know, can you become self-aware enough to recognize this is what I am? I'm not up here. I'm, you know, I I'm an I'm a, if I adjusted from income, I'm an average earner. I mean, you're Primame right now. And I got no shade towards Prim, but it's not like everybody becomes a vice president. People who go to Prim are generally looking for a way out of corporate America. How long you been doing it?
>> Two years.
>> And
>> what level are you
>> in network marketing? Two years. With this company, it's been
>> what level are you at?
>> Regional vice president.
>> Okay. Are you doing financial products?
>> Yes.
>> Okay. Um, so let's see. Well, I don't get wife. I'm going tell you right now when when you said power couple um the kind of man who's making a kind of money they don't want to be partners and power couples they want cooperative wives who aren't trying to live this yummy thing. um possibly an executive wife, which is that's as close as thing to a quote unquote power couple, but I don't know how you would be in a relationship. Um, have you interviewed your exes?
>> I would like to. I honest to God,
>> but I'm not sure if they would be open to that. I think it's more
>> this are they married
>> one is
>> okay just answer hey send an email what was I like to be with because they they can tell you uh because there it's not really it there's a phenomena that I've seen in the last several years I call pretty professional problems talking about pretty you're talking about six adjustable six 8 n so cute, pretty, beautiful, professional women who are who want relationships, but they can't maintain them. I went to Houston to talk about this issue, Chicago, and then in New York, and in LA. That's that's like your hot that's where y'all live. LA, Chicago, Houston, New York City. um emotionally unavailable. They I mean you look people they look nice, they speak well, they make a good presentation, they'll network. I mean you put you in a dress at at the steakhouse and but but then away from that it just something's a miss. Um and what I've noticed is many you know many women like that are afraid to fail. So you sabotage stuff. You want it to always look good. So are you going to So you know, I'm not saying you, but like women who don't like to go out of the house unless every hair is right. It has to always good.
>> Um, so it's not a matter of femininity training or white training. it really just start to I would say actually I'm going to be tackling this this year because so many of our black women are in this category frankly so that's why I'm talking about self-awareness so many of our black women are in this category beauty brains business and bonds with the inability to make bonds you just have a bunch of women stranded so um yeah stay tuned um are you you're not actually in therapy though, right?
>> I am. I feel like it's just a lifestyle at this point.
>> Okay. Well, I I don't I'm not a fan of that. Um I I think it's a good idea to switch there. And also, uh do you do any charitable work?
>> No, I don't.
>> Okay. Um giving up yourself is a good is always good. I mean, American Heart Association, find find a cause. Um, and also it puts you in proximity with certain types of men because I'm not getting the fact that it's it's it's beyond repair, but um I just can't fix it. I can't address it right now. I would say that um are you active in your your neighborhood?
>> I'm active. I host a lot of networking events. So that's how I'm active.
>> I mean are you active not toward the end of g gaining business? I mean do you know councilman is are you part of the chamber? Do you do you go to church charitable organization? Are you are you are you moving around or is it always it's always is always a goal to try to make a to to to get a sit down? the latter.
>> See, many that network marketing thing, a lot of people don't like that stuff, you know. Nobody, hey, you want to come over and I mean I Prim America was what woke me up out of the fog of corporate America. So, I got nothing but good things to say about it. But long term, I not for me it wasn't anyway because once you burn your warm network um Yeah. And and at 36 you have have you been to the OBGYn to to find out your your So you only got you only got you got you only got a short window. So it's time to start it start it's time to start actually putting resources to it to start making a deal. You need to find out your deal breakers. And I'm going to be honest that luxury lifestyle you're talking about because at the end of the day that good deal. I mean just the DNA. You're gonna do some work >> question. Just reconsider. I gotta go ahead and wrap this up. Go ahead.
>> Um so I climb in my company and now I'm hitting multiple six figures. How does that change? Because I know you said there's imposter syndrome, but there's also a piece of you want to exude what you want to create in your life as well.
>> So what do you the question again is what?
>> Let's say I I get into this six figures with my company. Um because saying that or you're feeling imposter syndrome when it comes to me then it's like it kind of
>> if you if you get into six figures or primar
>> yes
>> then the question is then what
>> then how does that change because I know you were saying like there's imposter are you feeling imposter syndrome with me when it comes how I'm showing up or how I dress and things I like
>> but it's
>> but but that's that's the difference then the money will catch up to where you're already there this whole manifest thing fake it till you make it but you know and I know that we that the chances of it happening remote I mean how many I mean you know the numbers of who gets there right I mean so what what percentage what's the probability of that happening in the next five is
>> I don't have that answer. I don't have that answer.
>> What do you think?
>> I mean I would think 5% if that maybe less 3%.
>> So then why you so if you got a five to 3% chance of something happening in the next five years. Why is it even a question?
>> Because I believe I see the work that I put in. So I believe
>> and that's the impostor syndrome. That's the impostor part of it. You're still focused on the fantasy, this this image facade you built for yourself and you and I just made you quantify. There's a 3 to 5% chance that this might happen in the next 5 years, which means there's a 97 to 95% chance that it won't, but you better save all the work I put in to work for what? You know who does this? The generic gamblers in Vegas. It's called sunken cost fallacy. You've sunk so much cost into this facade. I'm on a blackjack table. I run to the roulette table. Oh man, I've lost I made 500. I made a,000. I made 15,000. I'm up. Oh, I lost 500, but I'm still up. I lost 1,000, but I'm still up. I won again. All right, we're back. All right, then what? What happens the longer you gamble? What happens? The more money you
>> Who wins the longer you gamble?
>> The companies.
>> No, no, no. The house.
>> The lights in Las Vegas are on for a reason.
>> Yeah.
>> This is not This is not This is not a trick question. The longer you gamble, you will you'll give back everything you want plus empty your savings and everything else. But you know what keeps you going? The herd mentality and the sunken cost fallacy. What if I snap my fingers today? What if what if this happened and whatever god you believe in and sends you an archangel down and says here I am the God of your understanding and he confirms to you that he is God. He shows you your childhood memories beyond a shadow of a doubt. He know you know it's coming from God. Okay. Irrefutable. Are we there? And he says, "Not going to happen. You're not going to get there. This is it. You're going to be a middle earner right here. You're going to be comfortable. Never going to happen. It's not what I have for your destiny." Then the angel goes and goes back up to heaven. You going to still live your life on the possibility it could happen?
>> No. That's what keeps you going, the gamble. But what you do have to look at over the last 36 years and where's it got you? Fear. We're on the same page.
>> We're 100% on the same page
>> because money doesn't make you happy. What was that? It was a story of a woman who was, you know, in New York, uh, MissUSA or something.
>> You know what I'm talking about?
>> The one that just passed away.
>> Passed away. You mean walked on top of her building?
>> That's not passing away.
>> She committed suicide.
>> Yeah, it's not passing away. You see death. Yeah. Beautiful black woman right there. Lawyer, successful now. Right now. Uh-huh. She had it all. Money, fame, beauty. People is what life is about. Relationship. You can work a room, but can you can network for a sale. Can you build a life? Can you build your own network? That's the most important networking skill. I'm listening. Yeah.
>> I'm asking is do you not think so?
>> This is giving me a lot to think about. I'm I'm
>> I'm asking though. I'm I mean
>> I agree with you.
>> How many see how many millionaires and billionaires? How many people do you see up in director um director vice president or executive management who are single?
>> Direct. Not a lot.
>> No. Because the first thing you manage is your home. That's the first team. And so many of our women have this professional polish thing, but it's like there's just no emotion. It's like the lights not on. Like there's no fashion or you're an affectionate person. You said I have high emotional intelligence, but I'm reading just no effect, no feelings. When was the last time you actually shed a tear?
>> Two days ago.
>> Okay. Where's Has anyone ever broken your heart?
>> Tremendously. Yeah.
>> How old were you?
>> Uh the one from eight months ago.
>> How long were you guys together?
>> We were together for eight months.
>> Okay. I'm not trying to go. My point is stop defining your success by your bank account and these [ __ ] ass titles. That's why so many black women are dying alone. That [ __ ] was pushed to our community. It's pushed to every community, but our women bought into it more than anything else. Living single girlfriends D. And now you got a bunch of 45 year old women telling you, "Go down and focus on yourself. Don't worry about such and so forth. 55 45 to 70 45 to 60 like they at least have some money from Hollywood. You're an accountant. So, I'm going ask you to move like you don't have this potential to make this money because it's not really a potential. How would you move if you were a school teacher?
>> How would I move if I was a school teacher?
>> How would you how would you move throughout the world if you were a school teacher? If you were a third grade teacher, how would you move in the world? How would you operate? Would you have this lust? Would you this lust for the finer things and don't deny yourself?
>> No. I I feel like I would be content with
>> Well, then become a third grade goddamn school teacher and get content cuz that's closer to your reality. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm ultimately saying. And the more you can get out of this delusion that you or an illusion or this world you created for yourself or titles and this and that potential and get down to I got a sociology degree in adjusting. I make about six some odd thousand dollars. You know I'm cute but so what that's not, you know, it's not extraordinary. It's better than some, not as good as others. Right right around the middle right in here somewhere. But what is it getting me? What do I have in life? Do I have any long-term? Because you unless you you know you haven't been you haven't had any illnesses or any challenges like that. You're fortunate. We take all this [ __ ] for granted. Like that's why I showed you that woman who had more than you. Start living life on purpose. All right. Have a good day.
>> Thank you.
>> Bye-bye.
>> Bye.
This conversation matters because it exposes something that rarely gets said out loud in modern dating spaces. Wanting a lifestyle is not the same as qualifying for the person who provides it. And believing in yourself does not override math, timing, or market dynamics. Confidence without calibration doesn't lead to fulfillment. It leads to frustration. What we just watched wasn't about ambition being wrong. Ambition is necessary. Growth is good. Self-development is important. But ambition becomes dangerous when it's paired with denial. When someone builds their entire future around a best-case scenario while rejecting every realistic alternative, they're not being hopeful. They're gambling. And gambling with time is the one risk that never pays back.
There's a hard truth here that many people avoid. Potential does not function like income. You can't pay bills with potential. You can't build a family on intention. You can't secure a long-term partnership by projecting where you might be 5 years from now while ignoring where you actually stand today. Men at the level being requested don't date projections. They date proven stability, alignment, and peace.
Another uncomfortable reality is this. The longer someone lives independently, sets their own rules, and structures life around personal preferences, the harder partnership becomes. Not because partnership is bad, but because compromise becomes foreign. Marriage isn't about finding someone who fits perfectly into the life you already built. It's about restructuring your life around someone else. And that requires flexibility, humility, and realistic expectations.
What also stands out is how often power couple gets used as a substitute for clarity. A power couple isn't two individuals chasing separate visions while hoping love fills the gap. It's two people aligned on roles, responsibilities, and priorities, especially when children enter the picture. When expectations are vague, resentment fills the space where structure should be.
And here's the part many don't want to hear. Men who are at the highest levels are not looking for potential, hustle, or networking partners. They already have those. What they seek is peace, cooperation, emotional stability, and a home that restores them, not one that feels like another negotiation table. That's not misogyny. That's pattern recognition.
This isn't about telling women to aim lower. It's about telling people to aim accurately, to stop building identity around titles, future earnings, or imagine upgrades, and start asking harder questions. What kind of partner do I actually attract consistently? What kind of life am I prepared to live if my highest projection never materializes? Am I choosing paths that increase my chances of family or ones that delay it indefinitely? Because the truth is life doesn't reward aesthetics of success. It rewards alignment. And relationships don't form around ambition alone. They form around mutual benefit, realistic expectations, and emotional readiness.
This conversation isn't about judgment. It's about course correction, about understanding that time, biology, and probability don't negotiate with belief systems. You can work hard, be intelligent, be driven, and still need to reassess your strategy. The people who win long-term aren't the ones who chase the rarest outcome. They're the ones who recognize reality early enough to make adjustments while they still have leverage. And that's the lesson here. Clarity beats confidence when confidence isn't grounded in truth. If this conversation made you uncomfortable, that's not an accident. Growth rarely feels validating in a moment, but it's always honest.