Femme Fatale 2025 - Module 2

[Music] [Music] [Music] she emerged from within me like a goddess from water. She filled her lungs with new air with a sigh that meant everything: relief, rebirth, release. She took in the world around her with an understanding of its fragility and strength. She let the waters of her past run down her face. She took on a new name. She took on a new way. She became whole. She lives in me. She saved me. She is me.

[Music]

Hello, gorgeous goddesses. I have been reading your homework from day one, and I have cried so much. Um, gosh, this is a beautiful group. Your stories take my breath away. And I really want to acknowledge the effort that I've seen from so many of you to not do the thing where you try to use your accomplishments to be seen in this group. I still saw it a little bit, but I am blown away by the cleanliness of these posts. Like, I can tell you all made an effort, and it was spectacular to just see the women, just the women of this group, and the beauty of your life, and the pain that you've been through, and the light that you've seen, and the gratitudes of your heart, and the things that you've loved, and what made you who you are, and your dreams as little kids. And I love the different perspectives. I love that some of you are like, "I think I would love to find out this is who I was." You know, "I think if the little girl version of me were to see this version of me, I would be very pleased." And others were like, "Gosh, thank you for asking that question because I want, I want to pivot." And so I've loved the depth, the diversity, and all the shares. Like, this has really been spectacular.

Hopefully, after day one, how you have felt is that you have spent some time contemplating and honoring part of yourself, no matter what the result was of that. Whether you've realized that you absolutely love the way you're living your life now and this is exactly what you would have always wished for. Whether you realize that it's not what you would have hoped for, but it's actually even better for you than what you might have thought you wanted. Or whether this opened your eyes to realize, "Gosh, there's so much more joy and so much pleasure and so much life for me to live, and I want to go back and I want to, I want to get that magic out of me again, and I want to live like this." And I want to, whatever it is that you got. These contemplations are so powerful because it's very rare that in the middle of the week, in the middle of the month, for no reason at all, you just sit and wonder if this is exactly what you want in your life. We just don't give ourselves much time to have those thoughts. And so I'm really grateful that you took the time, that you took time to show up for yourself, and that you did this exercise.

Now, today, I want to talk to you about romancing or romanticizing your life. Has anyone ever heard of this concept before? A little bit? Some yes. So this is something that I did not realize I was doing, but that actually completely changed the trajectory of my world because I always had in my head the thoughts of what a day should look like, a year should look like, a life should look like. And it always felt like I was trying to build up to one day have that life. And I've seen Nicole is in the house with us, so we've got Nicole holding the vibes for us all today. I'm so happy you're here, Nicole. So I used to think, "If I did, if I did well enough today, eventually I could build something that equates to what I wish it could be." Can you resonate with that? Like, "Today I've got to work, and tomorrow it'll add up. Today I've got to do it, and then I'll be able to live it in the future." It always felt like today was setting the groundwork for it, and it would be something that would come later. And as I did this, it felt like I was running after my life.

This is a very, if you look at the archetypes in the Alpha F brand, this is a very badass or boss thing to do. You badass through the hard stuff and you're like, "One day it'll all pay off." Or you boss your way through the hard stuff and you say, "One day it'll all pay off." And you say, "One day I'll be rich, and it'll all be worth it." Or you say, "One day I'll be through the hard bit, and then I can feel about it." But for today, I just need to go, go, go. And so I spent a lot of my life doing that. Also, because my financial situation, my relationship situation, my confidence situation, like, if I were to look at my life in that moment, there didn't seem to be anything to just be happy with right now. So it felt like everything needed to work. So I had to just work on everything before I could feel the way I wanted to feel.

And on top of that, there was this other stressful feeling for me, which was that if I was grateful for what I had, maybe I would not receive what I wanted. I don't know where I got that concept from, but it was a fear that if I'm somehow grateful for this mediocre life, somehow the universe will get the wrong end of the stick and say, "Ah, she's happy, let her stay that way." And I was like, "I don't want that." So it was like showing my dissatisfaction while praying for a different life, while waiting for things to change so that one day I could be happy. That was like the recipe of my life until romanticizing my life, which I didn't really realize I was doing.

So what does this really mean? Is that I started looking at my life almost like a character in a movie. So for those of you who have taken Magic on Legs or who have watched Magic on Legs, I go very deep into this concept in Magic on Legs. But I really started going deep into my life as though I was a character in a movie. And why this was so important for me at the time is because in a movie, they can set the tone for just about anything and make just about anything meaningful. So what do I mean by this? You could have a scene in a movie where the main character is sitting at a little coffee shop on her own, journaling. And you know that this means something in the big scheme of things. Maybe you don't even know what she's writing, but you can see she's sitting there, she's on her own, and she's writing in a coffee shop. And if they were to cast this scene in a movie, there'd be a certain kind of music. There'd be a certain kind of angle that they would be capturing this scene in. There would be a feeling or an emotion that we'd be picking up from the main character. There'd be a tone, like a vibe, either a sadness or a beauty or a joy or a feeling like life is about to change. And in this one simple thing of a woman having a coffee, it would be possible to shoot it in a way where magic is happening, transformation is occurring, something big is stirring.

And so I started living my life in a way where it felt like the scenes I was living, when I was in my awareness, could very easily have been a scene from a movie. But this is, this is a very important piece of the puzzle, is that I did not have social media back then at all. So none of this was for show. All of it was a lived experience that I was having that felt like I was the, I was in The Truman Show. Has anybody ever here watched the movie The Truman Show? It felt like maybe the whole world was watching. Maybe I was in the Twilight Zone, and this was actually all fake, and my life was a pigment of my imagination. But maybe also it was just for me. And maybe, but either way, I was living my life for myself. Every scene of every movie, it occurred for me. But I started living like God was a fly on the wall. So when I was about to do a self-sabotaging thing, and I took a moment and be like, "If God were a fly on the wall right now, would this be a good move to make or not?" And when I lived absolutely beautiful things in my life, I lived them as though they were seen in a movie.

And so what's so interesting is I have had in my life, I have had, I don't know how many coffees, I don't know how many of them I have had, but I can very clearly remember the coffees that I've had when I was romanticizing my life. One of my most specific memories that I have, I was very early on in my personal development journey. I had just transferred to Toronto to learn the new product. Um, I have a place to sleep, which I'm very grateful for, but I have no money, and I'm trying to sell this product. It's not working. And I decided to go for a walk. It's the spring in Toronto, and I walk outside of this hardware store and just start walking until I find what looks like to me, in my mind at that point, the most stunning oasis of a coffee shop. Like it looked like I had just arrived in Greece or something. All pink flowers and greenery, all white hanging flower baskets, white umbrellas, like, "Just where am I?" energy. And I went in, and I looked at the menu, and everything on the menu was so expensive. And there was this one thing on the menu that I could afford. It was like $6 or something or $7. It was an iced coffee. And I don't know what I could have bought lunch sandwiches for a week, but I was like, "I want this moment." And so I bought this iced coffee, and I waited outside on this little terrace. And I can remember, I could hear the little birds chirping. I could hear the cars buzzing by, but it didn't sound like Toronto anymore. I could have been anywhere. I could have been in Paris. I could have been anywhere. And I just sat there so grateful, waiting for this coffee to arrive.

When they delivered me my coffee, I almost fainted. I was so excited. It came in a frosted martini glass with a really long, fine stem, and it was like totally frosted with this iced coffee inside. And I can just remember watching the water bead down the stem, and I felt like I was in a movie. And I thought, "I've got to journal. I've got to write about this moment." And so I asked the woman that was serving if I could borrow a pen. She lent me this long, sleek pen. I took out my decrepit notebook, which had way too much writing in it. I was needing to find flip sides of pages to write in it. And I just sat there and started writing. And I remember what I wrote. I wrote in that notebook, "If I was ever rich in my life, I would never take anything for granted. If I was ever rich in my life, I would go for lunch in the middle of the afternoon and just smell the flowers. I would enjoy coffee like it was the most important thing. I would never take anything for granted. I would just feel so grateful to have space and time." And I wrote, "If I ever were well, if I ever were rich, this is who I would be."

And I remember, because I remember the sounds of the birds and the cars, I remember the sleek pen in my hands and the beautiful coffee with the water dribbling down the stem. I remember my full notebook and the sound that the pen made on the page. And I remember the way I was writing and the feeling that I felt. And it felt like a scene in a movie. It felt like I was calling in something with no evidence that I was, but I felt like I was. When I was done with that coffee, I went for a walk and got completely lost. And all of a sudden, I was in the middle of the swankiest street I had ever seen in all of my life. Everyone was walking around with bags that said either Gucci or Louis Vuitton or S. Like, all these things that I don't, I don't own one of these things. I don't even know someone who owns one of these things. And everyone is walking around with these bags full of things. I'm like, "I couldn't even afford the bag, the cardboard bag." Like, "How are, how is everyone here walking around with it? Where am I?"

And I remember calling Kevin because he was actually the trainer at this point, being like, "I'm a little bit lost, but I'm going back. I just wanted to let you know." And he was like, "No problem." And so I found my way back somehow to where I was working and I ended my day. And it felt like I had just had a dream. It was just a dream. And I went through this memory so many times in my life. I remembered the glass, I remembered the pen, I remembered the overflowing notebook, I remembered the pink flowers, I remembered the sounds, and I remembered the promise. I remembered every part of it. I had anchored it in like a memory that mattered in my life. And when you think about it, it didn't matter yet. Like, I had no reason to decide that it mattered other than I fully committed to the experience that it did. I let myself feel. I let myself be completely immersed by the feelings I was feeling. Like, I went all in. And I remember thinking about that for a very long time.

A few years ago, Kevin and I went to this beautiful town called Yorkville in Toronto. And as I walked through the streets, I thought, "I've been here before." He was taking me to the Tiffany where I ended up getting my ring from. And it was the exact street that I'd got lost on. I was walking on that street as a multi-millionaire years later, engaged in love. And we were set to go for lunch, and I could not hold my tears back during lunch. All I could think about is, "I manifested this on this street. I got lost on this street. I got lost on this street this long ago, and now I'm here." And it's exactly what this is. Exactly what I wished I could do. But beyond that, it felt like I had honored my promise. Because one of the things I think really has made a difference in my success, and I can't say that this would be important or necessary for everybody, but what really created my success for me is that I feel gratitude every second. Like, I'm a little over the top. I say, "I'm so grateful. Thank you. I love you. I'm so grateful for you." I say these words all day, every day. These are the top words out of my mouth. "Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I love you. Thank you. I'm so grateful. Thank you. Thank you." I speak in a way that is the exact way I promised I would if I were ever successful. My favorite lunch, my favorite meal to go out for, is lunch. And I look at the environment around me, and I take it in the way I promised I would on that paper. And when I look at my life now, I realized that scene was history in the making. But did it become history in the making by accident? Or did I romance that moment for myself so much that I set an intention deep into the core of the universe and changed everything?

When I first started dating Kevin, we were both living in the same apartment that the company was providing for us. But it was a very thin apartment, and there was four floors. Kevin lived in the basement, like a troll in Central Park, and I lived on the top floor, like Rapunzel, the princess. And from time to time, we would meet on the main floor where there was the living room and the kitchen. And then there was this other floor where there was laundry and two other bedrooms. And so we, although we lived in the same house, there were beautiful boundaries between us. Now, as we got closer and closer, sometimes we would meet up on the second floor from time to time. But what happened one day is that the pipes in the, in the laundry room burst, and the entire ceiling of the living room caved in. And so we got relegated to the kitchen. Actually, even before this, let me tell you this other piece. When, when we really did not have much money, neither one of us. Kevin didn't. I didn't. And when I found out I was really going to go bankrupt, when it was like the final papers, and I had to go, I was so ashamed. And I felt so bad that it felt worse than having no money. Bankrupt felt worse than having no money. So I actually broke up with Kevin, not wanting to tell him that things were not good for me. And I basically told him he was better off without me. And he was not happy with me that I did that. Um, I regretted it very fast. I realized I was just trying to protect my feelings and I might have messed it up. And he picked me up from the airport after I'd broken up with him, and he was so cold. Like, he was not the person that I was used to. And I could, I could feel it right away. Like I'd broken something. And I explained, and he was just like, "Well, it's a real shame that you felt you needed to do that. I thought we had something, something." And I just remember feeling like, "Oh no, like I've really made a big mistake." And I, in that moment, I actually tried to salvage the relationship. And he said, "No, I'm sorry. I don't, I don't play like that. Like, when I care about someone, I care about someone. I don't do this whole game. I'm not playing games. Like, I'm actually really feeling for you, and I'm not, I'm not in for this. So I'm sorry, we're done." I don't think I ever felt more in love with anybody in my whole entire life in that moment. Thought I was going to pass out. Once more, I felt lightheaded. I realized I'd wrecked everything. And now I'm in Toronto, and I have broken the one best thing that's ever happened to me because I was afraid that he judged me. And instead, I just broke it.

And so I started packing my car. I just like took ownership and responsibility. And I was like, "Okay, go back to Quebec. Like, you've done your training here. Like, go back." And as I started packing my car, he came down. He's like, "Where are you going?" I said, "I'm, I'm going to go back." And he said, "Why would you do that?" And I said, "Well, if I'm being really honest with you, I've only really been staying here this long because of us. And I realize that I've really messed it up. And I respect you, but I don't think I'll be able to respect you every day. I might keep my hopes up forever if I don't leave. So I'm going to go." And so I packed up my whole car. But I could feel his energy close by. I could feel he was close by. I packed up my whole car with everything that I owned because I had brought everything that was mine that I had to Toronto. And then I packed the whole thing back up to leave. And just as I was about to leave, he came into the garage and said, "Wait, I want to talk to you."

And I swear, the same feeling hit me. It was like a scene from a movie. I remember the smell in the garage. I remember looking out the back of my car in the little mirror and seeing my full car completely packed. I remember the sound of my heartbeat in my ears. I remember the stress in my hands. I remember the look on his face. It was like, I didn't, I couldn't tell if it was anger or sadness. I don't want to get my hopes up. I didn't know if he was going to tell me one last mean thing or if he was going to say one thing that made me unpack the whole car. I was, I, I was so nervous. And he said, "I don't want you to go, but I can't tell you that anything between us is going to change. But I don't want you to go." And I was like, "This feels like a scene in a movie. Shit, I'm nervous. And I know how this ends." But I remember just thinking to myself, "Am I willing to feel the pain of loving this man every day, knowing he might not forgive me?" And I said, "Yes, I am." So I took a few things out of my car. I went to sleep. The next day, I was still in the house with him. It took a couple of days. We didn't even talk to each other for a couple of days. And then I did something that I've never really done for anybody before, but I said to myself, "I am going to romance this man."

And I remember him telling me about his favorite recipe that his mom used to make. I found the recipe. I managed to get all of our stuff, like scraps of everything, together to make the recipe. I brought a mattress from upstairs downstairs. There was this tiny electric fireplace, and I set us up in front of the fireplace in the living room, and I made him his favorite meal with no need for him to do anything. Like, I would have completely understood if he was like, "No." But we actually had one of the most extraordinary nights ever. And we kept that bed in front of the fireplace for weeks until the ceiling came through. And then we got relegated to the kitchen. We lived in a tiny kitchen. It was, it made no sense, and it felt like camping with my best friend. And it never felt like lack. None of it.

A few years later, in the middle of the pandemic, we had to make a choice of where to live because we had been nomads for years. We'd just jumped from place to place and never settled down anywhere. So now, if we wanted to stay in Canada, we had to buy a house. We weren't allowed to stay in hotels or no Airbnbs. We weren't allowed to stay with family. There were really strict rules. And so we had to manifest a house. "Now," I said to Kevin, "How are we ever going to find a house on a street between two houses and feel at home when we've had the whole world in our hands for so many years?" He said, "We'll find a place." And so the first place we ever visited, the first house we were ever shown, we drove over a bridge over a river on this five-acre island with a glass house on it. And when we opened the door to the car, I could hear the river rushing. It was just us on this island. And both of us just looked at each other like, "Oh my gosh, this is the place." We own nothing. Like, we have been living out of suitcases forever. So we buy this multi-million dollar glass house on an island, and we have this mattress in front of the fireplace right there. And we slept on that floor for two years. And it felt so right. It felt like roots all over again. And I remembered that day where I pulled that mattress out and I said, "I am going to romance this man." I showed him how much I cared about him. When I, it would have made way more sense for me to keep my cards close to my heart to see if he would have forgiven me, and if I saw he can't do it, okay, I'm going to leave. It would have made way more sense for me to be careful than for me to go all in. But I went all in. And as we'd sleep on the floor here, I often, we often would think about how we used to sleep on that floor with no money, with nothing. And my courage to have put that together. But I romanced my life. I romanticized my life. It was, it was like a Friends episode. Like, "I got off the plane, you know, I got out of the car. This moment, don't go." Like, I lived that, and I let myself live that, and I let myself put myself out there, and I did the romantic thing. And then we did the crazy thing. And I looked at my life, and I can tell you that I remember most of my life because of the romantic moments. Like the romanticizing, as whether it was with a coffee, or whether it was with the love of my life on a mattress in front of a fireplace. Like, it didn't matter what it was. It always had this flavor of, "Gosh, I could be in a movie right now."

This morning, as I was getting ready for this call, um, I could feel something looking at me from outside the window, which is always a strange little feeling. But I turned around, and there was a big deer looking at me through the window. And there was a whole family of deer walking through the snow in front of me. And I thought, "Gosh, this feels like a scene from a movie." Like, everything is white and covered in snow, and I'm about to leave this Fetal program, and I already feel like my heart's going to burst because I know what I'm going to talk to you guys about. And then there's these deer walking on this island that we've manifested. And I'm like, "How's this my life?" And I'll tell you that your joy in your life will come from moments like this, strung together, no matter how far apart they are, because they will remind you of each other. When I think about being on the floor in Toronto, that was in maybe 2013, that was in 2014, maybe 2013, 2014. And so when you string that together with 2020, that's six years have passed. But just like that, we're right back. I have so many beautiful stories because I've let myself feel. Without the feeling, it's just a thing that happened. With the feeling, it's your life that's occurring. And so I really want to encourage you in this program to romanticize your life. As simple as it is, with every little thing that you're doing, as often as you can think about it. It could be a scene in a movie. There are scenes in a movie where it's just the woman's gown falling to the floor as she opens a steamy shower, walks in, and washes her hair in the shower and sings a song in the shower, and that's a scene. There are scenes as simple as barefoot in the kitchen, or her husband's shirt on, dancing, making breakfast. There are scenes as simple as holding your coffee mug with both hands and breathing in the heat and the smell, having your first taste of coffee and being grateful for the morning. There are scenes as easy as lighting candles and looking at your partner with deep love. There are scenes as simple as walking into your children's bedroom at night and just looking at them for a few extra seconds because they're the smallest they'll ever be. There's scenes about having your grown-up children over for dinner and hugging them extra tight as they drive away of the driveway. Like all the scenes. There's nothing too simple for a movie. Everything makes it. Even going to the hair salon or getting your nails done gets to make it in a movie scene. But like, how do you live your life? Do you live your life trying to get through today so you can get to the beautiful part? Or do you live your life like today's the beautiful part, stringing the beautiful parts together one moment at a time, at a time, at a time, at a time, at a time?

And you might find that there were times in your life where that was easier for you, where you did that a lot. Often I hear women tell me, "When I was single, I was really good at doing that. I used to do that a lot." And then when I got into a relationship, I feel like I stopped being that intentional. For some people, they say, "When I was in a relationship, I felt like I did that, and now since I've been single, I feel like I've been less intentional." For some people, it's like, "I haven't done that in a decade," or "I used to do that even at the beginning of this year, and then I stopped." Whatever it is, what can start to happen in your life when you live like this is beyond anything I can explain. It will open up your feelings about your own life in the most beautiful way. And life really, truly is magical, and it doesn't need huge things in order to be magical.

Now, the second part of this is that in our lives, as we romance and romanticize our lives, it has an impact on more than just us. My, my day where I sat and journaled, that woman, that lent me her pen, said to me, "I don't know what you were writing about, but I often looked at you and thought that it looked like a moment in your life. I don't know what you were going through." After I had already been telling myself, "I feel like I'm in a movie." This woman comments back to me, "I often looked at you because you have my pen, um, but I kept making sure you were still there. But and I look at you in the way you were sitting and where you were and the way, and I just kept thinking, 'Gosh, it feels like something beautiful might be happening.'" You don't realize when you're fully immersed in your magic and fully wrapped up in your own story, how other people are also get involved in that and feel your energy.

When we bought this ring, the feeling, the person who sold the ring, the person who was there in the room when I tried the ring on, they were crying. Because, you know, people want to ask you about who you are in your life. And we told them just a slice of our relationship, and they were just crying. Like, "This is the best story I've ever heard in all my life." And then I left for an appointment. Kevin ended up buying it for me when I didn't know, and he gave it to me in a special moment later. But when we were sitting trying it on, the people in the room, the energy, it was like, "Gosh, this wasn't just us buying a ring. This was everyone involved getting to be a part of something." Like, the meaning of things, how deep can it go?

When I decided to go and bring that mattress, carry that mattress downstairs and put it in front of the living room, I decided I was going to romance and romanticize. But I gave Kevin something he'd never had in his life. I made him, I, I went for him. I didn't just wait for him to be the man and figure it out and forgive me. I actually gave him all of my heart because I knew I'd hurt him, and he deserved to know how much I cared if he was going to make his way through a decision that his whole heart was telling him, "Don't. She'll hurt you." Like, I actually gave him something in that. But I didn't do it to please him. I did it because it felt like the most extraordinary thing to do.

So where I want to string this conversation now is the difference between romanticizing your life and people-pleasing. And how so many of us actually waste our energy people-pleasing instead of doing this. We often want people to feel important in our life. We want them to feel like they matter, and we don't want them to feel like they don't matter. And so what we do is the cheapest, easiest thing: like, please them in the moment, say yes when we want to say no, work a little harder to try to do something even though we don't feel like it, say we'll go when we don't want to go. Like, cheap stuff that really just isn't our best and doesn't change their life at all, but at least we did it for them. And the fact is, people-pleasing doesn't count for much because at the end of the day, when a relationship breaks, when relationships do break down, the people-pleaser always recounts all the things they did, and the person who hears them say that is always very, very underwhelmed. Like, "That's what you think you did for me? This is it? This is your grand thing that you did? You shouldn't have. I didn't ask you to."

So one of the ways that women lose their power is in people-pleasing, in wanting to be liked, in doing things for you. But this changes the game in a whole other way. I even romanticize how I feel about my business, my clients. Like, I really take on that we are changing each other's lives in these programs. That every conversation, every coaching call I have with a client, as they're going through some big things, like, I am a piece of the puzzle to their entire life changing. I take that on like it's the real truth. And because of that, I show up so present, not to people-please, not to please anybody, because I am currently living in a reality where there is nothing that matters more than this phone call. There is nothing that matters more than this livestream. It's us and the world we're changing. It's us and your life. There's nothing more powerful and more meaningful than this. And so when you look at this, the feeling that people get when they're coaching with me, if they're locked in with me, is that this matters. But if I stayed a little longer just to make sure you liked me, and if I made sure my coaching was good to make sure you liked me, it would not have the same depth as when I come on here knowing this module could entirely change your life, and I'm a part of that, and it matters. Like, how do I show up for that? It's so different. Who you will be in your business for your clients, who you will be in your relationship for your partner, who you will be for your children, who you will be for your friends, because you're not a perfect person. And if you try to please everyone, you will fail. Like, you can't just please everyone, but you can create moments in your life that are unforgettable.

Moments with my friends. I have the greatest memories of all time. One of my favorite memories with Emanuel. She came to Toronto with her husband, Say. And Kevin and I, we rented the coolest suite at the Bisha Hotel. And they looked so cool. I was taking all these amazing pictures of them with my camera. And we decided to go out for sushi that night. And I don't know why we did this, but we said, "We're going to go, we're going to go for dinner wearing our sunglasses." And so it's pitch black, and all four of us are dressed to the nines, wearing like sunglasses to the sushi restaurant dinner. And I don't think I've ever had more fun in a night. It felt like our alter egos had just entered the room. I had the time of my freaking life. But like, who does that? You think, "What are people going to think? What are people going to say? Are we insane? We can't do that." We said, "Should we put our sunglasses on at night?" And we laughed, and we had the best night ever. And we got the best service ever, and we had the best food ever, because it felt like a scene from a movie. What is your life like when you're not so preoccupied by what people think, but instead when you're like, "What's the best night I could have? What is the best possible night? I wear my sunglasses at night." That's exactly the vibe.

I have memories of being in Hawaii with Shannon and Kevin when we were grounded in that Airbnb. When Hawaii closed its borders in 2020, and this one night, there was a tsunami warning right in front of the house we were staying at. And it, we weren't allowed to go anywhere. There were no hotels, there was nothing. And it was just like, it felt like a scene from a movie. And so we were very dramatic about it. We brought all the drama. We had this like, really incredible supper. But from time to time, one of us would say something like, "This could be the last supper." Something like that. Like, we were very dramatic about it. And then Shannon was like, "Can I sleep in your room tonight?" And so, if you can imagine, the little sister, Kevin went and got her mattress from across the compound because we lived in this biggest mansion thing. It made no sense for three people. He got her mattress, he put it in our room, and she skipped up the stairs like a 12-year-old. I could see her in my mind being a little girl, just skipping up the stairs, going, "Sleep overnight, sleep overnight. There's a tsunami warning coming. We've been saying all night, this could be the last dinner." She's skipping in gratitude that she's going to sleep in our bedroom. And we all went to sleep saying, "See each other tomorrow," in the most dramatic energy. And we woke up the next day, and nothing had happened. But the night, the evening, the energy, the thoughts, the memories, the laughter, the connection, that wouldn't have existed had we not let ourselves fear or feel or think. Or if we would have said, "Shannon, we're grown-ups. You're not sleeping on a mattress at the edge of our bed." Or, "Say, go back to your room." If we would have been logical about any about it, anything about it. But instead, I have the greatest memories. We laughed, we had fun. Can you add more of that into your life now?

I want to bring this to the forefront of this program because I realized that I want to take you on a journey soon, and I want to take you into your imagination, and I want to take you to go meet this goddess energy that lives inside of you. And often I've done this on the first call. And for some reason, in this program, something told me it was not time yet. There was more context to land in this round. And so what I really want to anchor in for us in this round of Fetal is that it's not just about your imagination. It's about your real connection to what's possible when you use your mind, your heart, and your spirit completely together. It doesn't matter if you imagine a goddess. What matters is when your imagination makes you live more. It's my imagination in the moment that said, "You know what? I'll grab the mattress and I'll put it there and I'll romance." And that was all in my mind before it ever came to fruition. It was that this place looks like an oasis in Greece. I'm going to sit there. I have no money in my bank account, but I'm going to order the coffee. I don't even know it's going to come in a sleek glass at that point, but I'm going to order this coffee I can't afford, and I'm going to feel this moment. It all happened in my imagination before it happened. It was us. All of that night, "This could be our last dinner, the final sunset eating dinner together," and all the drama. And then Kevin bringing her the mattress into the room. All of that happened before any of it, any of the night passed. It was all in our imagination. What could be, what it meant, how we were going to deal with it. And so I want to awaken that inside of you because everything is at the tip of your fingers in this life. How you live your life financially, how you live your life in business, how you live your life in love and in romance, how you live your your your life in partnership and in friendship, how you live your life with your family, your siblings, your parents. Like, all of it. It's, it's more than just what happens. It's all your thoughts about it before and after.

Some of your romance scenes will also create pain in your life. That's why we don't do it. Because there will be a day where Kevin and I are old and gray, and I think back at these things, and it feels so far away, and it feels like a lifetime ago past. We don't know what the future holds either. One of us will go first, or he will, and one of us will have to remember what was, and that will hurt. It would be easier to have a normal life where you can just move on from pain than to have the kind of life like this that you can barely get over because it was too beautiful. When a friendship ends, and you have all those memories, it's like it hurts so much more. So might as well have superficial friendships so that you never need to feel the pain of a friendship ending. But Fetal is the energy of a person can live all the beauty of this life and never regret one smile, no matter how hard it hurts when the smiles go. You don't live a little less to hurt a little less. You live all out, and then you deal with whatever feelings come because you're alive, and it's worth it. You live for it.

You know, a lot of times on the journey, I had the fear of losing the money. I thought to myself, "Can you imagine if I build it all and then I lose it all?" Anybody here that's made a lot of money, have that fear? Like, "Imagine I build it all and then it gets taken all away." And I remember, I thought, I thought to myself, "Well, if I don't make the money, it's kind of like I made it and I lost it all, but without the good part. So I might as well go for it." Because if it really did happen that I lost it, I'd know how to be happy anyway. Look, I'm happy now, and I don't have it. So why fear? I let go of the fear of loving my business and having it grow and one day not being able to make it grow like that. I let go of the fear of making all this money and not being able to keep it forever. I let go of the fear of loving so deeply and things not working out. I let go of the fear of investing all of my love and care in friendships that may not last forever, because the memories are worth everything. And the memories string together to create what you say in High Insight is your life.

So after this module, I believe that most of you will be able to string together moments where you actually did this for yourself without realizing it. They can be moments when you were a little kid. I have moments. I remember when I did these exercises, I remembered all the way to being in my apartment with my mom, and she was making a big dollhouse out of a cardboard box, and we were sitting in this cardboard box in the middle of the living room that was my dollhouse. Like, we made it in the living room. Like, I remembered that moment, and I saw it like an anchor, like a scene from a movie. And it got me. I remembered over hearing my dad talk to my mom saying that he needed a better coat. His coat had holes in it, and if he could just have a coat where he felt sharp, he could go out there and get the client that he needed in order for our financial situation to turn around. And I said, "Dad, I need to go to the bank. Can you take me to the bank?" I was 12 years old. I took the money out. He told my mom it would cost for the coat, and I said, "Go buy the coat." I remember being in the car with him. I remember the way he looked at me, not knowing if he should take the money, not knowing if he should be so grateful, or or what. I remember just wanting him to take it. The feeling, the imagination I had that this would fix everything. I remember these moments. So I want you to go back into your memories and pull out your blockbuster moments. This could be the moment your

When a child came into the world, it could be your wedding day. It could be. It can also be sad days if you're willing to be brave enough to take yourself there. Some of the most beautiful movies have heart-wrenching moments.

You know, when I was little, my grandma, my mom lived half her life in England and half her life in Canada because my uncle and my mom moved to Canada. And when I was a little kid, my grandma would live with us half of the year. Like, my grandma was everything. And right before I got successful, like right before I went to a Tony Robbins event in London, and I stayed with her for a summer, and she found out that her cancer was, like, that was it, while I was living with her.

And I remember when I was a little kid, whenever she would leave, she'd always tell us, "Now, don't you cry because I don't want to have the last memory of you crying. You know, you've got to smile and you've got to say, 'See you soon, Grandma.'" And it used to be the hardest thing for us to do as little kids, but we knew she'd be gone and we wouldn't see her for six months. And we'd say, "See you soon, Grandma," and we'd muster up the energy to smile for her because she told us, "I can't take it when you cry. I can't imagine when I'm leaving that I've made you sad, so you have to smile."

And I remember the last day I left England that summer, and she was wearing her pink, her pink dressing gown, and she looked so small 'cause she'd already started not being well. And I, it took everything for me to smile. And I hugged her. I said, "Bye, Grandma," with a big smile on my face, and I knew I'd never see her again. And I, I remember watching her in my rearview mirror as I, as we drove away, and I knew I'd never see her again, but I knew she'd see me smiling last. That felt like a scene from a movie.

And when I think of that, it makes me, it hurts my heart. But like, who gets to love their grandma like that? Who gets to care till the finish line like that? Who gets to feel like that? Only if you let yourself be sad. And there's a beauty in that. And so I have a beautiful scene in my life with my grandma. And I had these beautiful scenes with my mom when I was young, and my dad, and my sister, and Kevin, and my friends. And my heart is full. And I want to make more memories. And I want to live. And I want to notice when the deer come into my window. And I want to take an extra moment. And I want to be vulnerable with you so I can help you see, even though I look like a hot mess, it's just the way it is.

But what I want for you is for you to actually unpack some of these stunning moments and see how beautiful your life has been already. The beautiful, the laughing, the fears, the things that ended up being okay, the heart-wrenching moments that you'll, that have defined you, but in the most beautiful way where you honor your life for the movie that it is. Because what I realize in those moments is that I have this beautiful memory with my grandma, but who I was for her, I didn't people-please her as I drove away. I gave her what she deserved to have in her memory of me as a last memory, which was a big smile on my face. And I'll see you soon.

Life isn't happening to us, it's happening with us, for us. And we are also happening for people. Every way that you react, every way that you respond, the person that you are has the power to create one of these blockbuster moments in people's lives. Just a special moment with your kid where you really look at them and you take the time and you say something meaningful and it lands for them that they're good enough, or that they, they've done enough. You know, like, just one moment in an entire life can redefine an entire life.

No matter how long you've been with your partner, one evening of actually taking the time to love each other and be completely fully in love with each other and to tell them how much you love them, to do something special, not to please them, to mark them forever and to mark you forever. Because those memories are shared. As you string all of these things together, you'll realize how much power you have in your life to create extraordinary feelings, extraordinary memories, and extraordinary relationships.

But so often we want to play just strong enough, just big enough that we can't be shattered. And we hope everyone else comes in the extra mile. We please to keep the peace and hope we're going to be swept off our feet, hope we're going to be the great next greatest thing. When in fact, if we're willing to live some of these blockbuster moments for ourselves and for other people, we start to deepen the real connection. These relationships, they mean more than you could ever possibly believe with less.

Like my memories that I have, they're so powerful. And it's not like I need to pick up the phone every time a friend calls and I need to text back the perfect thing. My friendships aren't built on people-pleasing. My friendships are built on the big thing, the big meaningful thing that you can't erase with one misstep. The friendships that the big things are so important that no little thing can destroy them. But when friendships are built on little things, then little things break them too.

So living like this creates a depth, a beyond just superficial, "I did this for you." It's like, "We've lived this. What could break this? Nothing could break this." And if it did, it would still have been worth every second and every memory. And I'll remember us for that. And this is something that I've done with my friends. This is something that I've done with my clients. Because this journey, you never know what's going to happen. You know, I've had clients down the line end up creating a sense of competition with me and then want to just cut the ties with me because they don't want to be in competition with me anymore.

And it's like, I could have, along the way, said, "Let me just not quite care about my client so much." But instead, I love them so deeply. And I remember every beautiful phone call, every comment, every gift, every smile, every laughter, every inside joke, every everything. And then I make peace with the fact that it ended. But I don't give up what we, what we had. I keep it. That's mine. No one can take that away.

And so I've kept my heart big, and I've kept my heart soft, and I've kept my heart open, and I've continued to grow. So I want you to look at your life today. Pull out where you've really let yourself do this. Thank you. And notice where you closed your heart a little bit. And if you can just do one thing a little extra today, just sprinkle a little drama on the whole story, whether it's just for a little more laughter, whether it's for a little more connection, a little more love, a little more romance, a little more gratitude. And even if you need it, a little more sadness.

But like, if you're going to be sad, pour yourself a bubble bath, play sad music, and go cry in a bubble bath with roses. Like, why? Why feel bad about being sad when you could see, when you could have a beautiful sadness? Go for a long drive in the rain and blast the music that makes you the saddest and cry your eyes out. Have a scene. Make a scene. Live your life. Be sad when you're sad. Be mad when you're mad. Go out on the full moon and go scream at the moon somewhere on a pier where no one can hear you. Like, go live your feelings. Live your life. It's so much bigger if we let it be. So much bigger. The more we try to control it and keep it small, the more controlled it is and the smaller it is.

As we set this context, when you actually get to meet the goddess, your connection with her will be so much stronger and it'll mean so much more. And it is a full moon today, so go out there and howl at the moon. Thank you for this beautiful call. Thank you for being there. As the tears stream down my face, and I hope this can be a beautiful example for you as well. Like, nothing stops us just because we're emotional. Like, the tears may stream down your face, and still you will have all the, the brilliance and all the things to say. Like, I stopped trying to hold my tears back a long time ago. I let, I let it go as it goes. And I, I keep speaking through the tears, and we make it through. Trust yourself. Trust your power. And see if you can make your life just a little more meaningful today. I look forward to seeing stories that unfold from these contemplations. Thank you for your time, your energy. I love you, and I will see you on our next call.

[Music]

She emerged from within me like a goddess from water. She filled her lungs with new air with a sigh that meant everything: relief, rebirth, release. She took in the world around her with an understanding of its fragility and its strength. She let the waters of her past run down her face. She took on a new name. She took on a new way. She became whole. She lives in me. She saved me. She is me. Come.

[Music]