Transcription
The fastest way to read a human being is to keep one question in your head. It is: The hidden psychology behind what you're talking about here is that all of us run on scripted behaviors.
All discipline is is can I prioritize my future self over right now? Getting familiar with our shadow and I think if we do that and we know ourselves, I think that's the biggest problem for most people is that we don't fully know ourselves.
No human being follows the people with the best ideas or the the nicest suit. We follow the people that are the most followable. I'm just thinking about it in my own life or your own life is what kind of self-control am I projecting to the world?
Angry [music] and assertive are not connected in any way. And we know other things in our life better than we know who we truly are. Well, I think every interrogation should assume that the person might be innocent. [music] Mhm. And that they're I think a lot of the mistakes that people make, number one, is that they go in seeking a confession instead of seeking the truth. And those are two very different mindsets. And number one, if I'm seeking a confession, that means I'm convinced that this person's guilty. Uh which is not how anything should work >> [music] >> ever. Uh and that's how we get things like false confessions and that's how we get things that uh where we have like someone's manipulated into confessing to a crime. But I think [snorts] it it should be about seeking truth first. [music]
And some of the techniques that we use are asking questions to ascertain whether or not somebody might have a higher likelihood and we deal in likelihood as as behavior people. [music] And I mean, they won't admit it, but most psychologists and most psychiatrists, if not all of them, deal only in likelihood. Oh, yeah. >> And I think when it comes to psychology and behavior, it's a lot like a weather person or a meteorologist. Where based on all this historical data, [music] we can kind of maybe predict with a percent of likelihood what's going to happen today. So, that's kind of what we're doing in behavior. >> [music] >> And in interrogation, there's some specific questions that we ask that determine whether or not we should move from an interview phase to an interrogation phase. And a lot of this is rooted in what's called the Sharfian interrogation [music] techniques. And this was a German interrogator, his name was Hans Scharf. And he kind of invented, "Hey, what if we're not an in an interrogation room?" And he was like the first guy to really conceptualize that and build a framework out of it. So, almost every interrogation method today is based on Hans Scharf's methods. [music]
But, there are some very tactical questions we ask before, and then we start getting into some more sharpened and pointed questions. We can go through whatever you want to go through. So, it depends on the situation. But, uh when it comes to detecting any kind of deception, we have to ask context. So, like what's going on, what's the situation? And two, are [music] we raising the stakes? So, like it could be the same context. If the stakes are different, [music] then it's a very different outcome. So, like if if I showed you a picture of a duck and said, "All right, Francesca, I need you to convince the person across the table from you that you're looking at a horse." You're going to There's not many stakes. So, the stress that's associated with being deceptive is not very high. But, I take the same situation and say, "If you can't convince them that it's a horse, we're going to lock you in solitary confinement for 15 [music] days. And we're only going to give you three pieces of bread per day." So, now the stakes >> [music] >> have changed. Context is the same, but the stakes are increased. [music] So, a good lie detector knows how to use questions and very specific questions to increase those stakes. And even if you're asking one question, there's some words that you can say before a question to increase the stakes. [music]
We Yeah, so one of the one of the tactics that we use in interrogation is called a bait question. [music] A bait question. And a bait question essentially starts with the words is there any reason? >> [music] >> So, if if let's say you committed a crime, let's say you robbed a convenience store yesterday. And you're denying the whole thing. You're saying, "I didn't stop there. Didn't do anything. I'm not involved." And then I come in there and I say [music] and this is how I'm going to raise the stakes. So, I'm going to I'm going to trigger your psychology first. Uh and this is called planting [music] a mind virus. The words I'm using right now. So, I'd say, "Francesca, I know you want to get out of here and I appreciate you coming in uh to talk to me especially. I know we've got 31 officers out there reviewing uh video and downloading everything >> [music] >> uh and doing everything they can to try to get to the bottom of this. So, I thank you for for coming in today. I just want to start off with one thing. Is there any reason at all that your vehicle would show up on one of these pieces of footage that the officers are bringing in right now? So, keep in mind that you know that you were there. And that you know that your car's probably on some video somewhere. Maybe it is. And I didn't say that I had the video. I just asked is there a reason that your vehicle would show up? So, you're at a very the stakes [music] are very high right now because I've I've raised the stakes. Um, so, you're at a crossroads of do I say no, there's no reason, and then they're going to throw this thing in my face and show me this video of my car, and now you're suspect number one. Or you say, "Yeah, well, yeah, I think maybe I stopped by that gas station, but I was only there for like 10 minutes and nothing happened." >> [music] >> So now I've got you at the scene. Now I've placed you at a crime scene. >> [music] >> So another way to raise the stakes before we start that conversation is, you know, Francesca, I appreciate you coming in today, >> [music] >> and I've gotten to know you. I've talked to a couple of your friends already this morning, and everybody just says you're a wonderful human being, and [music] because of that, I just want to say one thing before I ask you this question. I want you to think very very hard before you answer this question, and just make sure that you give me an answer [music] that's real. So I want you to think hard. So that raises the stakes even more, cuz now I've pulled your identity of being a good person on the line. Um, so that's that's one of the ways we raise the stakes.
And another question that we use in the interrogation is called the punishment question. And the punishment question works equally on children and adults. Um, it could be, let's say that let's go with the same >> [music] >> the same story, like that Francesca robbed the gas station. Love the story. Yeah. >> [snorts] >> So let's say we're in the interrogation room and you say, "No, I'm not sure what happened. I know I didn't do anything." I'd say, "All right, so what do you think should happen to the person that did this?" Mhm. So now, later on in our interview, if I pull out a video of you robbing this place, >> [music] >> now you're you've got to stick to exactly what you say. So now you're getting them to kind of mentally have to go through this process and you see it a lot of times when you're interviewing people that are accused of heinous acts [music] with with kids and stuff like that. Uh when an interrogator asks what should happen to the person who did this? And you'll hear him say, "Well, you know, definitely some kind of counseling or therapy. They're obviously sick and they need to help and definitely an apology. Yeah, like a written apology to the family." But you'll never hear like they need to go to jail for the rest of their life, which is what we would all instinctively say. They need to They need to vanish from the earth as [music] fast as possible and and and disappear. So, those are two questions that that are in a long list of these questions that help us to determine [music] how you answer those questions will will kind of push us closer and closer to uh an interrogation instead of an interview. >> [music] >> Yeah, and one of the fastest ways to estimate this for for ourselves is one of the ways that I ask my clients on a survey. One of the questions on my client surveys is what would a stranger rate my diet on a one to 10 scale? >> [music] >> Just by looking at me from 10 yd away. How would a stranger rate what I eat every day? Is it good or [music] bad? And that's a a pretty good way to to start that off and just thinking about it in my own life or your own life is what kind of self-control >> [music] >> am I projecting to the world?
Uh your mask is I need to be harmless. And so you have more of a puppy mask and that's how you dealt with conflict at the age of eight or nine is I'm going to be more and more innocent. And I'm going to use innocence to solve this problem. I'm going to stay out of conflict if I can kind of just be nice and [music] kind and let's just everybody become friends with each other really quick as fast as possible. Mhm. Social skill, like can they handle conflict well? Do they know how to kind of de-escalate conflict without a whole lot of problem? Mhm. The one big one that I look for, and if if it's a business partner, >> [music] >> is do they are they interested in other people? Like do they actually ask questions or do or do they view life as a transactional process? [music] And if it's a transactional person, I don't want them anywhere near me. I don't even want them knowing my address. So, I will [music] I will if especially if it's business, I I do not want anybody that's a transactional relationship person because they will view my clients as >> [music] >> little ATMs. Numbers. And I hate on the screen. Yeah, it's disgusting to me. >> [music] >> And I invited my clients to my wedding and they met my parents [music] and and I was like I'm challenge you. Like I talk about like do I live off camera the same way that I talk about online this in my [music] cuz I think most gurus don't. I think the like and I hate that word, but I think people who train in self-development and confidence, let's do this morning routine. I don't think they do [music] that. And I think that's one of the biggest problems is that if you're out there to saying you need you need to wake up at 4:00 a.m. and you're not doing it, uh that shows. So, >> [music] >> our we're not all body language experts and but the lower part of our brain is a body language expert. It's reading behavior all day, [music] every single day, and it's very good at it. The problem is that the lower part of your brain cannot speak English. It has no language comprehension whatsoever. [music] So, it can't tell you what's going on. It speaks feelings though. So, it gives that little feeling in your stomach like something's not right. Something doesn't add up here. So, one of the first things I teach to all the clients [music] that are going through my like a VIP thing that I've got going on it's called graduate school is you are in the business of manufacturing gut [music] feelings in other human beings. You're making gut feelings in other people all day every day on accident [music] and now it's time to learn how to do this on purpose.
Yeah, I think in Western medicine medication is not to design to cure. It's designed to treat [music] a individual symptom and doctors get training on treating symptoms instead of people. I'm going to just take this you like this chemical's too high. >> [music] >> I'm going to give you a pill that's going to make that chemical too low. But then it may might make this other chemical too high so you're going to see this other doctor who's a specialist in that chemical. He's going to give you another pill to push that chemical down where it's supposed to be. And that one doctor has an affiliate link for the other doctor. Yeah, it's and none of the doctors are have any malice. It's just the way our [music] the system works right now and it works okay, but we need to start seeing humans instead of symptoms. [music] So I discovered this miracle that saved my entire life and now I drive a car. I have zero seizures. My brain my most recent brain scan says that everything has reversed. The damage has been reversed because of what I found and it was a miracle. I'm just going to leave you hanging on What is it? All right, this is the show. Thank you very much. Like and subscribe. >> [laughter] >> What [snorts] did you find? I mean I know I mean you've been talking to me about it and it seems too good [music] to be true. Big time, which what I thought for a long time. Yeah. >> I thought I'm trained I'm trained in medical neuroscience. I'm trained in all this stuff. I would totally know if >> [music] >> if this was a thing. I I know about it.
How do they respond after an evening out? Like do they send a text the next day and say, "Hey, thanks for that." or are you seeing just like data? Like are they only want to know data? Like what time are we meeting next or what time is this going to happen? And you get into a conversation with them and they Let's say you get into a 1-hour talk with them on Zoom or something. And the entire talk is business, numbers, strategies, not uh where are you from? Do you have kids? You know, how is everybody? Is everybody doing okay? They're like are they connecting with a human or are they connecting for some kind of bank transaction? Mhm. And it's [clears throat] pretty obvious to see pretty quickly if somebody's a real human or not a real human. Yeah. And I want only [music] those kind of people in in my company. Like if anyone talks to my sales people, my sales staff, [music] nicest human beings in the world. And they care about people. They they follow up with you for years afterwards asking about your kids. And this is not some SOP that I wrote. That's just the type of people that I hired, you know, cuz they're good human beings. If I'm looking for a partner, I am married by the way, but if I am looking for a partner, number one thing above everything else is the degree of artificiality that that person is comfortable with. So if I see someone and they're getting their dopamine from likes on Instagram, I will never compete with that. Even if we're in a relationship, that that addiction [music] is still going to be there and they're living this kind of artificial life on Instagram.