NERGİS'İN HİKAYESİ //Takipçi Hikayeleri

Hello. You know I tell the stories of my followers. Today I have come to tell you Nergis's story. But before we get to the story, there are a couple of frequently asked questions. I want to answer them. Friends, you ask about the products I use in my makeup, but I share links to most of them on my Instagram page. I'll even leave my Instagram page here. If you want to follow me along with my TikTok page, you can follow me from there. Speaking of which, please don't forget to follow my YouTube channel and like and comment on this video. Other than that, you ask me where to send your stories. If you email me at the email address I've written on the screen and left in the description box. I read them and select some to tell here. I can't share every story sent, I should mention that. Also, I beg you. I say it every time, but there are still people asking. If I send you my story beforehand, will you tell it? If you're going to tell it, I'll send it, you say, I can't promise you something I don't know. Maybe a story I can never tell. Maybe a story that is very similar to one I just told, so I can't tell it. I read and choose them one by one and tell them that way. Now let's get to Nergis's story. Nergis is the only child in a family. My parents and I never had very big problems. Until my engagement period. During that time, I had a lot of difficulties with my father. She says it wasn't just with her father. But with her father's family. My father's only bad trait was his excessive devotion to his own family, his mother and siblings, and the families his siblings had formed. That is, this devotion sometimes went to the extent of overshadowing us. To help you fully understand what I'm about to tell, I want to briefly talk about my father's relationship with his own family at the beginning. Nergis's maternal grandfather passed away very shortly after her mother and father got engaged. A sudden death. Of course, everyone is very sad. 6-7 months pass. Nergis's mother says to her father, yes, it was a bad event, but 7 months have passed. Actually, it's probably a little more than 7 months. Can we at least have an engagement? Because when they first got engaged, it was discussed that they would have an engagement ring ceremony and an engagement organization a few months later. My mother says her own family and relatives are pressuring her. My father says that every time my father brought up this topic with his grandmother, his grandmother would react with great aggression, saying, "Were you not enough? What's the rush? Your father just died. Death has come from this house. Don't you have respect for that?" and so on, manipulating my father. Of course, since my father couldn't tell my mother these things, whenever she said something like "earlier, this and that," my mother says that after a while, she probably thought this man gave up on marrying her. He's using this situation as an excuse. He's prolonging the process, and she started to get sad, thinking he would want to break up at some point. The matter had reached that point. 2 years pass since her grandfather's death. My mother and father still haven't moved forward from the engagement. Nergis's maternal grandfather calls her father one day and says, "We love you very much. You are a very good, decent, hardworking person. We also liked your family as far as we know. Yes, we made an engagement. A ring was given. However, although we are very sad about your father's death, grief also has a time, a duration." he says. "I haven't seen a mourning period of 2 years, where engagements, weddings, and such things are postponed for 2 years. Son, you are talking to each other intermittently. Your daughter is asking you to at least have an engagement, but you are refusing. As a father, I will speak very clearly. I don't like this back and forth. Either an engagement will happen within a week or two, or we will take off these engagement rings. We will say the engagement is broken. Because, he says, we are also left with our heads bowed to our relatives. He says this has gone beyond a reasonable time." When Nergis's grandfather gave her father such an ultimatum, her father says he went to his grandmother and told her about the situation. Although his grandmother was initially dismissive, she saw that her father was determined. Seeing that, his grandmother thought, "What kind of disturbance should I create?" and said, "Okay, if you are in such a hurry, then let's have a direct wedding. No engagement, no henna, no nothing. Death has come from the house, such things don't happen," thus ruining Nergis's mother's perhaps most beautiful engagement, henna, and wedding that she would have enjoyed. Her father agreed with his grandmother and shared this with her mother's family. Her maternal grandmother and mother were very sad, of course. "Will it be without a wedding? What were we waiting for then?" they said. Her grandfather silenced them. "Okay, let it happen as soon as possible and be done with it. This matter has already been prolonged. Let's not ask for more, or let's cut this off completely," he said. Her mother, of course, didn't want to cut it off because she loved her father. Thus, her mother and father had a very simple wedding within 15-20 days, without even inviting a proper relative from her father's family. His grandmother never liked her mother throughout her life. The reason his grandmother didn't like her mother wasn't that her mother was a bad person or unsuitable for his grandmother. His grandmother says that if it were Ayşe, Fatma, or someone else instead of her mother, she wouldn't have liked the daughter-in-law anyway. It was about her father. His grandmother wanted her father to be an unmarried brother who brought all his earned money home and dedicated all his attention and time to his grandmother and siblings. Of course, she says, "Since my father wasn't like that at all and got married, and then lost her husband during his marriage process, it was a doubled loss for her. She says that the reason she tried to wear out my mother or her family by prolonging this marriage process was this. My father has four siblings. The eldest is my paternal aunt. She lives in Germany. She got married many years before my father. She went to Germany as a bride because her husband worked there. By the way, everyone is afraid of this elder aunt. They can't speak to her as they please. She is the figure who is more respected in the family, and no one can do anything to her unless she wants them to. We didn't see our elder aunt very often. She wouldn't come from Germany for every family event. She didn't interfere much in family matters. If she did interfere in something, everyone listened to her. The one younger than her is my father. My father, while my grandfather was still alive, started working as an apprentice for a painter and decorator. Later, he started working as a painter and decorator himself. A few years later, he took on an apprentice. She says that over time, my father always improved his work. My father was a very hardworking person. My mother also tells me that he always worked very hard even before me. For example, after this painting and decorating work, he learned plumbing. He learned tiling. That is, he learned many of the skills needed for the renovation of a house. He also took apprentices to train them in these areas. And she says that when I was old enough to understand things, my father had a shop. He would organize craftsmen for construction sites or people who wanted to have their homes built or renovated. His business was good. His situation improved gradually. We had no financial problems. Especially our elder aunt, after my grandfather's death, used to send money to my grandmother. My father also used to give it at that time. After he got married, he continued to give it. At that time, my uncle was unmarried. And my younger aunt was unmarried. My uncle got married about a year and a half or two years after my father, I think. My uncle, you know how there are people in families who can't get anywhere, who constantly try to exploit their siblings, mother, and father. My uncle is that type. My father got him jobs many times. He couldn't hold any job. He said he would start a business. My father gave him capital. I was young at the time, she says. My mother tells me these things, so I know. He went bankrupt two years after starting the business. The woman he married, my sister-in-law, could truly be one of the most ignorant people in the world. Her family was also a bit problematic. My uncle, on one hand, was dealing with them, but with the financial support from both my father and grandmother, he was somehow managing to make ends meet. She says they had a daughter who was one year younger than me, let's call her Banu. Banu and I were in the same school, but with a one-year difference. Because my father was very devoted to his family, he always told us, "You are siblings. Look out for each other at school. Support each other in every way." Especially, he says, "Protect Banu. If anyone says anything to her, it's considered as if they said it to you." That's why we grew up with this idea, like we are siblings. My mother and I would go shopping every year before school started. She says they would do a bulk shopping for me. From school uniforms, underwear, sneakers, school bags, lunch bags, to clothes I could wear daily. You know how your size, height, and weight change every year in elementary and middle school. That's why we would do it all at once at the beginning of each year. My father would give his card. When Banu started school, my father included Banu with us. He said you have to get everything for her too. She says, "Honestly, Banu was like my sister. I'm not just saying it for the sake of it. We would even buy her underwear, my father would pay." My sister-in-law never objected to any of those shopping trips. She always had something to do, even though she was a housewife. That is, she didn't have a very busy schedule. Later, when my mother and I talked, and my mother told me, I was enlightened. Probably because if she came, she would have to reach into her pocket, and my father always warned us when he sent us off, saying, "She'll have to say, 'Let me buy it.'" She never came. She says these shopping trips continued until the end of high school. I graduated. Banu still had one more year of high school. She was one grade below me. My mother took her again. She said, "Mine is finished now. Do whatever you want." My sister-in-law and my uncle both saw exploiting my father as very normal. At one point, it became so much that she says, when we were finishing elementary school, it started with Banu's school expenses, her clothes, and so on. Then she says, "We somehow started buying even the bread that entered my uncle's house." For example, we used to see each other very often, she says. "There were about 3-4 streets between us." She says it happened like this: Actually, my uncle and his family lived in a slightly worse neighborhood at first. Because my uncle didn't have a good income. He could only afford rent in such a place. Whenever my sister-in-law came to us, or we went to them once in a blue moon, my father always invited us because it would be too much expense for him to host them. When we went, or when they came, my sister-in-law would always talk about the neighborhood, how Banu would grow up in such an environment, and how beautiful the place we lived in was. My father says that one day he finally said, "Well, let's look for a house for you in these areas too. Get out of there if it's that bad." Of course, she says, my uncle and they had agreed among themselves. My uncle immediately said, "Brother, how will I pay rent here? I can't. You see, we are barely making ends meet." My father said, "Okay, son, you look, I will help you." She says the help turned into paying all the rent. That's how they moved to our area. Then she says my father had a customer who was a wholesaler of things like detergent, toilet paper, and soap. My father always bought from there, and he would buy and send them things from there too. For example, if he was buying meat from the butcher, he would buy and send it to them too. During Ramadan, he would have the apprentice buy flatbread and send it home. He would have two more flatbreads bought and sent to my uncle's house. My mother says she was very surprised one day. On a Ramadan day, my sister-in-law called my father's shop. She said to the apprentice, "What time is it, and you still haven't brought the flatbread? They probably forgot today." She says, "You can go down and get it, or Banu can send someone to get it, or you can call your husband to bring it when he comes." They had gotten so used to this system. Nergis and Banu went to the same schools during this period. Of course, there is a one-grade difference between them. Banu used to have friends from time to time, saying, "I love her so much, I adore her, she's my best friend." After 3 months, she would say, "Oh, she's so jealous, she's so spiteful." She says she never saw her have a stable friend. They always treated her badly. They always talked behind her back. Banu always got hurt because of her good intentions and cut friends out of her life. She says I always had many friends. I am a mild-mannered person. I was truly mild-mannered to the point of being foolish. I was someone who said "yes" to everything. Because, she says, my mother and father were actually the reason for this. Especially regarding my father's family, my father constantly said, "Don't cause problems. Look, they don't have the means. Banu is like your sister. You will protect and look after her. What does it mean to be upset?" For example, when she was little, if something happened, we would fight and get upset. My father would get extremely angry. My father, who didn't get angry about anything, would get extremely angry about this. What kind of nonsense is that? You are siblings. You will make up immediately. And you shouldn't get upset about everything immediately. She says, "Actually, I'm not the one who gets upset. Banu would get moody and upset. I would always be the one running after her and making the first move." Because that's what my father wanted. It was ingrained in me that I shouldn't be upset with anyone. I shouldn't be offended or angry about anything. I should say yes to everything. She says I did this with my school friends too. That's why I got along very well with everyone. For example, I would include Banu in my friend groups. My sister-in-law would tell my mother, "Banu's friend is having trouble with her. She's very sad, and so on. Nergis shouldn't leave her alone at school." My mother would warn me. And I, she says, would bring her together with my friends during breaks. Immediately, she says, even at a young age, in middle school, she would start badmouthing my friends to me. She was trying to ruin my friendships. Of course, I was trying to manage everyone at the time. She says everything was somewhat normal until middle school. In middle school, of course, people start to become a bit more aware. Adolescence also kicks in. We go for these school shopping trips. I'm in the second year of middle school. Banu has just started the first year. Harley Davidson boots were very fashionable that year, but they weren't very cheap either. For some reason, my father's situation was good. I could get everything I wanted, but deep down, she says, I had an unnecessary empathy. I wouldn't buy very expensive things. I would try to choose more affordable brands. Or if I didn't need it, for example, if my school bag wasn't old, I wouldn't buy one. My mother would also say, "It's not that old yet. If you want, we won't buy it this year." I would say, "Okay." For example, she says that year, I knew those boots were very fashionable. Some of my friends had them too. I went and chose something more affordable. Banu, she says, went and touched them. "Oh, these are so beautiful. I love them. So beautiful," and so on. My mother, not knowing, says, "Okay, daughter, let's get those for her then." Then Banu looked at the price. "Oh, this is too expensive, aunt. No, let's not buy this. I didn't know it was this expensive," she said. She says, "I believed her at the time. She genuinely liked it by chance, and it turned out to be an expensive item. She said, 'Let's not buy this.'" But she says my father warned us so much, "Whatever she reaches for, buy it so it doesn't stay in her heart." My mother, knowing this, said, "Okay, let's buy this." And my mother said to me, "If you want, we can get it for you too." And what I had, she says, was such foolishness. Thinking that they would spend so much money on her, I thought they shouldn't give it to me. "No, no, I liked the other one," I said. From that year on, she says, my cousin started wearing better brands than me with my father's money. I realized it when I got to high school, she says. Banu was doing this as a tactic. She would get the expensive things she liked without looking obnoxious. For example, she says she never said, "I don't really need a school bag this year." Every year, she says, they would buy her clothes from head to toe. When she started high school, I started noticing Banu's jealousy a bit more, but she says, "There's no way. I can't get rid of them, I can't sell them. My uncle, Banu, my sister-in-law, my grandmother, and so on, are indispensable to us." Knowing this, she says, "Even if she's jealous until morning, it doesn't make a difference. I have to tolerate it." They had come to our house for dinner. My sister-in-law said, "The neighbor's son goes to a tutoring center, and it's been very beneficial. They go on weekends and after school." She says, "I don't remember exactly, but there's an institution run by the municipality or the ministry. Think of it like a library," she says. "It's not exactly like a cram school. And it's not very expensive, not something very costly." My sister-in-law says she talked and talked about it enthusiastically. Then she said, "Oh, if only there were the means, I would really love to send Banu." She says she's telling my father, "Give me money so we can send her," but she says the amount isn't really that much. Although, she says, thinking about it, the person who shamelessly called for Ramadan flatbread would also ask for that money. My father, of course, immediately jumped on it. "Okay, let's enroll both of them together." We started going to this tutoring center. We go after school. It's a nice environment. There are people our age. She says there are friends from school too. I had a large group of friends, both boys and girls. Sometimes our going times were different. She says he was friendly with a girl. Then their relationship with this girl broke down. My sister-in-law got involved again. "Nergis, could you try to include Banu in your friend group? She doesn't want to go to the tutoring center at all. I want her to benefit," and so on. I said, "Okay, I have a sense of duty," she says. "Okay," I said. I included her in my friend group. She says, "A month passed, maybe not even a month." The friend group, she says, started to exclude us, Banu and me. If I went alone, she says, they would talk to me a little, but if Banu was there, they wouldn't approach us at all. Anyway, she says, "If they don't want us, that's fine, I can't force them, but I don't understand why, and I can't go and ask." Some time passed. During that time, Banu wasn't coming because her mother's relatives had come to the house, there were guests, and so on. She didn't come for several consecutive days. I was going alone. One of those girls came up to me. She said, "Nergis, look, I really liked you. We were getting along very well. I'm going to tell you something, but don't misunderstand me." "What is it? What happened?" she said. "Look, we're keeping a little distance from you because," she said, "Banu has been going around talking about all of us to others." They had heard Banu's gossip. "If Banu isn't around, we want to see you, but since she's your relative, we can't say anything to you. I just want to tell you to ease my conscience. We don't have a problem with you, but we don't want Banu among us." Of course, I tried to defend Banu, but she says, "How much can I defend her? Everything is so obvious." She says, "Because of her, I also lost my friends from this tutoring center." She says, "I even warned Banu about this. Look, the girl told me this and that. They found out you were talking about them. Just so you know." Banu went and told my sister-in-law how she explained the situation. My sister-in-law says, "You are relatives. You didn't protect Banu enough in this situation. You sided with her friends. Banu was very sad," and so on. Also, she says, I got lectured by my sister-in-law. Anyway, she says, there's a boy I've liked since the first year of high school. He's in another class. She says he's handsome, very good at his studies, respectful, and not someone who talks to everyone. But, she says, I don't have any interaction with the boy. I like him from afar. Banu knows this too. She says, "I used to tell Banu everything. I thought she told me everything too. Turns out she didn't." She says, "It was my foolishness." Banu, she says, used to badmouth the boy every time. "He never talks. What kind of man is that? Besides, if my uncle finds out, he'll be very angry." She says, "I don't know if my father would get angry about something like this." Banu, she says, would always say, "If my uncle finds out, he'll be very angry," and she would somehow badmouth the boy and any potential relationship with him. Anyway, nothing happened, so it wasn't a problem for me. In my final year of high school, one day, a female friend came up to me at school. She said this boy went up to her and asked if Nergis had a boyfriend or if there was someone she liked. The girl, she says, came and told me this. Now, she says, what does this mean? I thought the boy probably liked me too. The girl, she says, as far as I know, said no. I, she says, naturally got my hopes up. After school, we walk with Banu. Of course, my face was beaming. Banu, she says, immediately understood something was up. "What happened to you? What happened to you?" she says. I told her. "Oh, I wish I hadn't told her," she says. She criticized the situation from every possible angle. "In your exam year, what kind of courage? You're going to start dating someone. What will my uncle say? Will you risk your exam?" Then she says, "If this boy had a genuine intention, he would have said something to you by now." Finally, she says, I said, "Oh Banu, enough. Nothing is happening anyway. Why are you talking so negatively?" Whenever, she says, I finally couldn't take it anymore and showed a negative reaction, which was very rare because I was trying hard to endure, Banu would immediately back down. "Oh, I was saying it for your own good. You've started tutoring classes too. It's your exam year, after all. Don't let it affect you badly. Something might happen, you'll get upset, your exam will be affected," and so on. She would immediately play the card, "I did this before too. I'm thinking of you. No one can want your good more than I do. That's why I'm talking. Otherwise, I know how to say, 'Oh, that's great. Let's go quickly.'" And she says, "I believed her, but I promised myself I wouldn't tell Banu about this again." And indeed, a few days later, she says, the boy came and confessed to me. And I've liked the boy for years, so I accepted. We started dating. We were going to the same tutoring center. We meet at the tutoring center and so on. We talk at school, but we don't make it obvious that we're dating. For some reason, she says, he didn't want it, and I didn't want it either. My main reason for not wanting it was the fear that if Banu found out, she would spread it to the whole family. Time passed. This incident, she says, happened at the beginning of the year. We started dating right at the beginning of the school year. Mid-term break. I'm going to the tutoring center. One day, my tutoring session finished early, or whatever happened, I came home early. My sister-in-law and Banu are at home. I was really in a hurry. I left my bag, books, and phone in my room. I rushed to the toilet. While I was in the toilet, Banu entered my room. She says, "Let's sit and talk when you come." Meanwhile, the boy messaged me. She says Banu knows the boy's name, of course, since we're at the same school. I came from the toilet. She says, "What is this?" Banu says, holding my phone in her hand, shaking it at me, as if questioning me. "What is it?" she says. I looked, and the boy had messaged me. Now, my phone has a password, and I hadn't told Banu the password because, for years, my phone was always in her hands. She always knew my password. Under the guise of playing games, she would read my messages. She would look at my photos. I know she looked, and I didn't say anything, but she would ceremoniously give me her phone. She even used to tease me, saying, "Are you keeping state secrets on this phone?" But she says, for the last year or so, neither of us had been touching each other's phones much anyway. I had also changed my password. Since she didn't know it, she couldn't open it and read the message, but she says, seeing the boy's name made her suspicious. I, she says, was forced to explain. "We're meeting, we're talking. I didn't say we're dating, but we're meeting, let's see," says Nergis. She says Banu started questioning me as if she were my mother. "We talked about this. In your exam year, how can you take such a risk? How thoughtless is this boy? He knows you have an exam. The boy also has an exam," she says. Normally, she says, she would think about herself before thinking about me. She says, "My mother talked and talked and talked like this." But, she says, I still don't think Banu would go and tell my father, my mother, or anyone. Still, as a precaution, she says, "We're not dating." "We're just talking normally at school. We're not meeting anywhere outside." We're only talking at school and at the tutoring center. And we're talking on the phone. Anyway, she says, that day she acted extremely moody towards me. Then, normally, when they come to our house, my uncle also comes and stays for dinner. Banu, she says, said, "I have to study." She says, "You rarely saw Banu studying during the February break." They left. Two days passed. One evening, my father came home, but his face was very grim. "Welcome," I said, but he didn't answer. He wouldn't look at me. He was extremely angry. We barely ate dinner in a tense atmosphere. She says, "We don't have such atmospheres in our house." Then I went to my room to solve tests. After about an hour or an hour and a half, my mother entered the room, but she says, "My mother was also very angry. Without saying anything, she directly asked, 'Do you have a boyfriend?'" Her eyes were blazing. I panicked. I was thinking, "We're only dating by talking at school and at the tutoring center. We have no interaction with the boy outside. Where did this come from?" "How did my mother learn this?" She says, "I immediately made the connection. That's why my father's face is grim." When Nergis's mother said this, she said, "Nergis, tell me the truth. Your father has already learned everything. He's not talking to you to avoid conflict. Tell me." Nergis says, "I panicked and said, 'Mom, no, there's nothing like that. What boyfriend?'" "Where is this coming from?" she says. My mother, she says, explained where it was coming from. "My uncle went to your father's shop that day and said, 'They saw Nergis walking with a boy on the street. The boy seemed like her boyfriend. Since they were afraid of you, they told me. You tell your brother to tell him he knows, or to warn his daughter.'" My uncle, she says, because it was good news, came and told your father. She says, "I, of course, can't understand. There's no possibility of my uncle seeing me with a boyfriend. We don't even leave the tutoring center at the same time." Of course, Nergis became very tense, panicked, and started crying. She says, "I told my mother. There's this thing. But we don't meet this boy outside at all. We never have. We go to the same school and the same tutoring center. We talk on the phone. We talk at school. The possibility of us being seen somewhere is zero. I don't understand where this came from." When that happened, my mother, she says, believed me. Because, she says, "I was really upset, Buse. Yes, I have a boyfriend, but I didn't sit around with the boy in public or go out." Now there's a fabrication in the middle. But, she says, it never occurred to me that Banu might have told her father. Of course, my mother said to me directly, "Who knows you have a boyfriend?" I told her the girl from school who facilitated our interaction. And she says, "Banu just found out. A day or two ago, Banu found out." When she said that, my mother said, "Well done, Nergis. Why are you telling me?" she says. "Mom, don't you always say, 'You are like sisters with Banu' and so on?" She saw the message. I told her. I understood that Banu did this. I got extremely angry. My mother went to my father, she says, and explained the situation correctly. "Yes, she's talking to a boy, but there's no meeting outside." "She's a friend from school, they go to the same tutoring center. The incident of being seen outside was probably a misunderstanding." But, she says, my father, of course, didn't believe this. He continued to think I was going out with the boy, and he became quite distant from me. I called Banu. For some reason, she says, she didn't answer any of my calls that evening. They also don't come to our house for dinner. In fact, my father became even more annoyed with me because they weren't coming to our house for dinner. "Your uncle doesn't want to bring his daughter to us when he learns you're wandering around with him and her. Father, there's nothing like this. This boy is my school friend. We don't even meet him outside." I kept explaining. My father, she says, kept making sarcastic remarks. A few days before school reopened, she says, my father insisted so much, or whatever happened, they came to our house for dinner. Of course, she says, we confronted Banu. I called Banu to my room. She says, "Thinking about it again, I acted very calmly, actually. If it were now, I would raise hell." "Banu, why did you do something like this? What did I do?" she said. "You told my uncle. We never met this boy outside. That's a lie. This happened two days after you found out. You're slandering me. Why would I say something like this? Am I a bad person?" she says, raising her voice, as if so people would hear and her mother and father would get involved and she could get out of it. I understood, she says, that this was her intention. I also don't want to get into a major fight with my father. My father said, "From now on, don't talk to me. I won't talk to you. What you did to me is a very big offense. You made me fight with my father for nothing. It's my exam year anyway," I said. "Don't call me, don't ask about me." And she says, "I left the room and went to sit with my family." Indeed, I didn't look her in the face at school or outside. For example, when they come to our house for dinner, I don't interact with her one-on-one at all. I don't call her to my room. If we are going to their place occasionally, I say, "I'm going to solve tests. I'll stay home." I stay home. That year, she had a brother, he became her uncle. After so many years, how will I tell people I'm going to have a sibling? And so on. I didn't support her at all there. Banu and Nergis remained estranged for quite a while. My sister-in-law intervened, my mother. Nergis is exaggerating a lot. "My daughter can't lie. When she heard it, she immediately came and told me. You and my brother, meaning your father, you don't know." She says, "When we say brother, meaning my brother and you, we didn't want to come and tell you directly, so it wouldn't seem like Banu reported it, so the girls wouldn't fall out. But someone had to say it. There are good people, there are thieves, there are scoundrels. We thought, what if she was a bad person? We wanted to protect Nergis." My mother only said to my sister-in-law, "Okay, look, I understand your good intentions, but this shouldn't be said like this. Then you should have come and told me, woman to woman, we could have talked about it. I would have found a way to handle it discreetly. If necessary, I would have told my husband, and if not, I would have reprimanded Nergis." But, she says, this situation was not good. "Okay, the girls being estranged is not good, but I understand why Nergis is upset. She trusted Banu and told her, and Banu immediately reported it to you, and to her father." My mother, she says, told my sister-in-law this, but she said, "My daughter, don't do this. Don't prolong the estrangement. If it goes to your father, you'll be blamed even more. You'll come out as the guilty one." But, she says, I told my mother very firmly, "Mom, please don't get involved in this matter. If it has to go to my father, let it go. I don't care." Anyway, time passed. Banu, she says, understood that I wouldn't back down. I am very determined. I'm not talking to her at school either. It's a very busy period, and the exam is approaching. She says, "I'm going to tutoring in the second semester, I'm busy at school." She says she couldn't stand it anymore. Since she had no other friends, there was only me. And when she lost me, one day she came and said, "I will never interfere in anything of yours again. I did this with the best intentions. I didn't think it would turn out like this. It's a very important period for you. You're preparing for the university exam. Your mind will get confused, your exam will go badly. You'll neglect university." That's what she said. She says, "Are you apologizing, or are you being moody?" We started talking again, but not like before. I don't tell Banu about my boyfriend, she says. But, she says, even though we mended our relationship, I found out later. My father, she says, kept asking my mother about my boyfriend. "Is this still going on? What will happen?" "I really don't like this situation." I, she says, don't confront him directly, but I pressure my mother. My mother, she says, shared this with me after a while. But, she says, "What can happen? I'm preparing for university. The boy is preparing for university. We'll study. Nothing will happen." I keep telling my mother, "Nothing is happening. We're just talking at school. We're not even like a couple." But my mother is also very caught in the middle. Turns out, she says, my grandmother was pressuring my father at that time. Because when my grandmother heard that I was estranged from Banu, she asked my sister-in-law and my uncle why they were estranged. My sister-in-law, praising her own daughter, said, "Of course, things like this are very contrary to my daughter. She never hides anything from me. When Nergis learned that she was dating a boy, she immediately came and told me. She was very worried. What if the boy was bad?" She says, "Even though she warned Nergis, Nergis didn't listen to Banu. So what could she do? She told us. They are like siblings, after all. Wouldn't you want to protect your sibling? Since we couldn't directly tell my brother, 'Your daughter has a boyfriend,' we tried to soften it by saying, 'They saw her with someone.'" She says, "Look at how they tried to soften it. Is this how you soften things?" My grandmother, she says, upon hearing this, pressured my father. "Are you a relaxed man? Don't you ask who this man is? He's dating my daughter. What does dating mean? There's not even a ring. Are they walking around together?" she says. As she pressured my father, my father pressured my mother. At that time, she says, there was very little time left until the exam. My boyfriend's family is also a bit conservative. He also tells his mother about me. His mother says, "Son, look, you also have a sister. These things are not looked upon favorably. Everyone knows each other. My boyfriend's family knows my father too." That is, my father, because he's a shopkeeper, is known in the whole neighborhood, the district, and even in nearby places. She says, "The girl's father also found out. They're dating without a ring. These are not right things. Tomorrow, if someone did this to your sister, you wouldn't like it either. At least let's put on an engagement ring. You get to know each other a bit. When your studies progress a bit, say, in your first or second year of university, we'll have an engagement. When you graduate, you'll get married." Suddenly, she says, he came and told me this. I, of course, was stunned. She says, "I was scared, but on the other hand, I was a little pleased that he was serious." Also, because my mother was pressuring me, she says, "This happened for me too. Look, my boyfriend is serious, and his family is serious. I had the chance to tell my family like this." When my mother brought up the topic again, I said, "Look, they also say this and that. These people are not malicious." I said it. She says, "When I said this, it was like the brakes on a truck failed, and it started going downhill, accelerating." Exactly, she says, that's how the process went. My mother told my father. My father said, "Okay, then let them come, let's meet, let's put on an engagement ring." And the matter, she says, got out of hand. On one hand, I'm scared. I don't even really know the boy properly. After the university exam, the following week, they will come, we will meet. Then we will set a date for the engagement. My father, of course, is thinking of inviting my grandmother, my younger aunt, even my aunt from Germany. I don't want any of them. Because my boyfriend is also bringing his mother, father, and sister. My mother, she says, is begging, "Look, it won't be that crowded. It would be rude to the other party. This is just a meeting. We'll invite your mother and sister for the engagement. Will we be like grapes without stems?" and so on. Finally, she says, with great difficulty, my uncle, my sister-in-law, and Banu will come. For the engagement, invite my grandmother and younger aunt. My elder aunt, she says, already said she wouldn't come. My grandmother, she says, said so many unpleasant things to us because we didn't invite her to the meeting. My father and her father got along very well. My uncle also liked the man very much. Banu, she says, I could tell she was very uncomfortable with the situation. It was very evident in her demeanor. But I thought her demeanor was like this: She never had a boyfriend. Let alone me having a boyfriend. Now I'm going to get engaged. So, I thought she was envious. That day passed like that. We set a date for the engagement. The engagement will happen in 15-20 days. The engagement took place. My grandmother and others also came. Even then, my grandmother made sarcastic remarks to my mother. She said to the other party, "We couldn't come because we weren't invited to the meeting. It's destined to meet today. Thank God my mother-in-law is a decent person. It's meant to meet today." The woman, she says, tried to manage my grandmother. My mother, she says, felt like sinking into the ground. Then, she says, the exam results were announced. My boyfriend got into Istanbul and, she says, a very good department at a state university. I also got into a university in the city where we live. Also a state university. By the way, she says, when we got engaged, we had discussed having an engagement after finishing our second year. Banu, even though I didn't tell her anything, kept saying, "How will it be? He's in Istanbul, you're here. University is a very dynamic environment. He'll have a lot of new friends. Won't you be jealous?" she says, constantly filling me with negativity. Honestly, she says, at one point, when I was talking on the phone, "Where are you? Who's with you? Who is that? Why are you always with girls?" Even though, she says, he has mixed-gender friend groups. "You know, he makes friends at university. I have them too." Similarly, she says, I get so filled up with Banu, and then I start reflecting it somewhere. University year 1 ended, and it was summer vacation. My boyfriend came back to where we live. We meet and so on. Very rarely, she says, Banu also joins us. She behaves very well towards my boyfriend. When it's just the two of us, she badmouths him. She belittles him and his family a bit. For example, she says, my boyfriend's university department is a very good department. That is, it's one of the recognized departments in Turkey. When she tells someone about it, she says, "Oh, what's the value of that department anymore?" she says. "Even if he graduates from there, he'll be working for minimum wage. Who knows when he'll start earning good money?" As if, she says, her own father were as rich as Croesus, she says these things. "Patience. Well, he doesn't have a girlfriend, so he's jealous," she says. Actually, we're studying. She says Banu has had a boyfriend for two years, and it's someone who would never happen, her uncle's son, and no one knows. I also don't know. She says, I was just a little suspicious at that time. I would catch her messaging secretly and smiling. I would ask, she says, "Is there something going on? What's up? What's happening?" And she says, "No, what are you talking about? I'm talking to my friend." But she doesn't even have friends. She says, "I know." Actually, we're not at the same school anymore. I'm going to university, and she's in her final year of high school. So, she says, I don't have much insight. Therefore, she says, I can't be very sure if it's a boyfriend or a friend. I don't ask for too many details. She says, I finished my first year of university. I'm going into my second year. At the end of the summer, this Banu's relationship with her cousin blew up. It blew up like this. This boy was a drug addict and was using drugs. By the way, the family didn't notice anything. One day, the boy came home under the influence. They thought he was drunk. Her father looked through his phone, "Who is he drinking with? Where does he hang out? Who is he hanging out with?" By the way, she says, the boy is older than me and hasn't amounted to anything. Anyway, my uncle never liked my sister-in-law's family. Because they are all like that. Although my uncle also hasn't amounted to anything, she says, they are also a family that moves around with theft and dishonesty. Her father, that is, Banu's uncle, while looking through the boy's phone, learned that he was using drugs. He also found the messages between him and Banu, and the matter exploded. He called Banu's mother. We, she says, didn't know anything. Then, she says, she was forced to tell my uncle. When she told my uncle, the matter exploded. Banu's mother and father had a habit like this: The three of them, if they had something negative among themselves, something related to themselves, they would hide it so much, but if it was about someone else, they would talk about it openly. That's why we didn't learn that Banu had been dating her cousin for a long time, she says. It exploded at the end of that summer. Turns out, she says, this matter was known months in advance. In fact, my mother sometimes said to my sister-in-law, "Why have you started suffocating this girl so much? You didn't used to act like this." My sister-in-law says, "Because she's constantly attached. Who are you talking to? Who did you message? Who did the message come from?" she started asking. It was something she never did before. She used to say, "It's exam year, sister, that's why I'm doing it," she says to my mother. Meanwhile, Banu is taking the university entrance exam. Anyway, no one had any hope except her own parents. Her own parents, she says, thought Banu would get into very good places. She really didn't get into anything. She got a very low score. Her score, she says, barely got her into one or two private universities without a scholarship, into low-scoring departments, but her father couldn't send her to a private one. One day, Banu went to her uncle's shop, that is, Nergis's father's shop, looking tearful. My father came and told us at home. "Uncle, if I prepare for one more year, I'll get depressed. My parents are putting too much pressure on me. I can't stand it. If you could support my father a bit, so I could study at a private university, maybe I could improve my average and transfer to a state university," she said. My father, she says, "Could he say no?" "Of course not." "It's not about supporting her. My father will pay for everything. Because her father can't even pay for her eleventh year." My father also called my uncle and said, "Let's enroll this girl in a private university. Let's not let her lose a year by waiting another year." Somehow, she says, Banu enrolled herself in a private university in Istanbul. "She settled into the dormitory," she says. My father pays for it, of course. My foolish self, she says, thinking, "Let's not cause expenses." I, she says, could have gotten into good departments in Istanbul with a partial scholarship. I chose slightly worse departments in a state university in my own city because I didn't want to cause expenses. She says, "My life shouldn't be a burden to my family. My father is already supporting enough households. My grandmother, my uncle, and now I shouldn't be an extra expense." So, she says, I spent my life watching my father spend much more money on me than on himself. When Banu went to Istanbul with her dormitory, school, and everything, with my father paying for everything, I was truly jealous and upset. Because I could have gone too. I could have had a much more comfortable university life. It would have been a bigger city, a more enjoyable environment. For one thing, my boyfriend is there. This is my foolishness. Supposedly, she says, Banu broke up with the boy. Even when I asked, Banu told me, "We broke up." About 3-4 months after Banu started university, she says, we are in our second year. My boyfriend and I. One day, my boyfriend called me. "Look, who am I going to give the phone to?" Banu. "Oh, really? How did you meet?" she says. Supposedly, she says, they met somewhere. Of course, she says, I believed her at that moment, but at the same time, she says, I'm thinking, Banu's dormitory and school are far from my boyfriend's school and dormitory. How did they meet? Maybe they ran into each other at a common place. And from that day on, she says, somehow, once a week, Banu and my boyfriend started meeting. After a while, she says, Banu joined his friend group. They started meeting consciously, but I swear, she says, I wasn't jealous. In fact, she says, it pleased me for this reason, and I supported it. She says, "I thought, Banu was filling my head with so much negativity about this boy. If they become friends, Banu won't talk so negatively to me. Therefore, my father won't be instigated. Because through my sister-in-law and my uncle, my father can also be instigated." She says, "I still have the trauma from that first incident. In my eyes, my boyfriend's female friends from school are a bigger risk. After all, she's my cousin, like my sister." Months passed. During the mid-term break, she says, they came. We met here and there. When I was telling something, my mother understood from something I said that Banu and my boyfriend met in Istanbul. I, she says, didn't tell her specifically. I didn't feel the need. "How so? They're meeting?" says Nergis's mother. "Yes, they're meeting," she says. "Daughter, how can that be? Your tongue has been burned by Banu before. What if they fall out later, something happens? This will spill over to you again. You stop this." She says, "Not from Banu's side. Tell your boyfriend. Let him make excuses. Don't invite him too often. Let them meet rarely." I said a lot of things to my mother. "Ugh. Mom, don't be ridiculous. How backward-thinking are you? There's nothing like that. I think Banu has also improved now. She'll find a boyfriend from her friend group. She'll forget this boy. She'll forget her cousin." Meanwhile, she says, I found out that Banu hadn't broken up with the boy. I found this out from my boyfriend.

They are still meeting and stuff, he told me. He says, "I asked Banu, you know, I couldn't say it." "I don't know, you'll tell your mom and stuff, it will cause me trouble." "He did it himself," he says. "He thinks I'll do it to him." "Look, Banu, don't do this, don't do that, the end of this is not good. This child is using drugs. Your mother's relationship with your uncle will also be strained. Your father is very angry and stuff." "I told him once or twice," he says. "I didn't want to say too much," he says. "Then I let it go," he says. "He was talking about getting engaged to my only friend during the summer holiday of our second year." "He is also very eager," he says. "His family is also very eager. Ours too." "I never forget," he says. "April. One evening I'm calling my boyfriend. He doesn't answer. I called and called and called, he doesn't answer." "A friend of mine from the dormitory had his phone," he says. "I had met him too," he says. "When I came in the summer, he brought the child with him," he says. "I called that child," he says. "Because I was very curious, like, why isn't he answering?" "He's not in the dormitory, he hasn't arrived yet, but it's a late hour," he says. "I, of course, started to panic," he says. "I didn't sleep until morning." "I'm calling, I'm texting." "He's not getting back to me in any way." "Nergiz falls asleep towards morning." "I woke up at noon," he says. "I looked, he texted," he says. "You called, sorry, I didn't see, I'm just getting home, I'll go straight to bed." "It's been an hour or two since he texted," he says. "I called directly," he says. "He answers the phone groggily." "Where were you? My heart sank. Look, I called so-and-so. You didn't even go to the dormitory." "He says, don't ask, I'll tell you, but don't say you heard it from me." "Banu had a very bad argument with her boyfriend. She called me, crying. I got scared and went to her. I spent the whole evening trying to calm her down. I could only get back to the dormitory. I felt strange inside," he says. "I couldn't comprehend it, and I felt a lot of anger inside," he says. "I felt jealousy," he says. "For the first time, I don't want my cousin to be jealous." "I showed the anger as," he says. "Why aren't you answering your phone? I was very worried about you. I thought something happened to you." "Her boyfriend apologizes to Nergis." "I'm very tired," he says. "I'm going to sleep and stuff." "We hung up the phone like that, but I couldn't get over my anger," he says. "I was extremely upset." "I called Banu." "Banu spoke to me as if nothing had happened." "I'm waiting for her to tell me, like, yesterday this happened, that happened." "Let's say Ahmet is Nergis's boyfriend. I also called Ahmet, I didn't say anything." "I hung up the phone as if I didn't know." "A day passed, but my anger didn't subside," he says. "I'm very upset." "I called Banu again." "I brought up the topic of her boyfriend," he says. "Do you guys talk, do you meet, and stuff?" "She still tells me as if nothing happened, like, we meet and talk very rarely." "Then I snapped," he says. "Why are you lying to me, Banu?" he says. "Nergis, you argued last night, you even called Ahmet and asked him to come over, you were together until morning." "Now, I don't want to openly show that I'm jealous." "Of course, she immediately twisted it, like, how could you?" "I called him because I saw him as an older brother. I needed support. I was in a very bad situation. What have you twisted this into?" "I understood that she would twist it and get out of the subject," he says. "There, I guess my mind finally came to its senses." "Banu, I'm not saying this as jealousy," he says. "I'm curious why you didn't tell me this," he says. "Ahmet is someone you've known for two days. You're leaning on him in such a difficult time, so why aren't you telling me anything?" "I was very sad about this." "When Nergis said that, of course, she couldn't turn the conversation around." "I was afraid my mother would go somewhere, you know." "She thinks I'll do the same thing because she snitched on me at the time." "I thought about how I could reduce her meetings with Ahmet." "Look," he says, "Banu, I don't doubt your intentions, but Ahmet is also just starting to be included in the family." "Also, Ahmet's family is a conservative family." "If they hear that their fiancée's cousin calls Ahmet in the middle of the night." "They won't take it well. They won't think well of our family." "Please," he says, "don't do things that will put me in a difficult situation, and our family too." "I didn't think you would think like this." "You're exaggerating too much," and so on. "This has nothing to do with my thinking," he says. "I don't have a problem from my side, but," he says, "this won't be taken well by Ahmet either." "It won't be taken well by Ahmet's family either." "Also, Ahmet doesn't hide anything from me," he says. "He told me directly." "He said, 'Banu was bad, she called me, I went.'" "We hung up the phone like that, but I felt very uneasy and uncomfortable," he says. "They've already settled into a routine of being together constantly." "And now she's calling Ahmet at night." "Like, what's the connection?" "We don't have that much closeness even when we're next to Ahmet," he says. "We had this conversation, we hung up." "Not even an hour passed," he says. "Ahmet called me." "He's talking coldly." "Did something happen?" Nergis asks. "Banu didn't want me to tell you. She was very upset, but I couldn't resist, I'm going to tell you." "You called Banu," he says. "You probably said you were uncomfortable with me going to Banu's that night." "The girl called me too." "She said, 'Ahmet, let's not meet too often anymore.'" "'If necessary, we'll meet when we go to our hometown and Nergis is there.'" "'But other than that, let's not meet here.'" "So I asked why." "She said you were uncomfortable, and that my family might misunderstand." "I never expected this from you." "Suddenly, I felt bad," he says. "It was a very difficult time for the girl. She was having a nervous breakdown. Of course, she'll call me." "It means she saw me as family." "She talked and talked to me," he says. "Did I become the bad guy?" "I'm trying to explain the situation," he says. "She never listens to me." "Ahmet acted very cold and moody towards me for a day or two." "Normally, we had talked about getting engaged that summer," he says. "My mother also asks me from time to time." "Have you talked at all?" "What about this engagement thing?" "Should I call your future mother-in-law?" "First, you talk to Ahmet," and so on. "So I told my mother, let's talk first," he says. "Then you talk to his family." "I asked Ahmet," he says. "He said, 'Let me come over, and we'll talk face to face.'" "Our relationship seemed to have improved," he says. "Like, that moody thing was over." "In the meantime, I'm talking normally with Banu, and as far as I know, they're not meeting each other," he says. "I don't ask if they're meeting," he says. "Because I'm afraid of getting a reaction from Ahmet." "They both came to our hometown." "I'm going to meet Ahmet." "We can't seem to meet." "Ahmet has work. Something related to his family." "I say on the phone, 'Let's talk about this engagement thing, my mother is curious.'" "He says, 'We'll talk when we meet.'" "Finally, one day my future mother-in-law called my mother," he says. "'Let's talk about this engagement, what are we going to do?'" "My mother said, 'The children were supposed to talk among themselves first, but they haven't been able to meet,'" she says. "'Ahmet has things to do with you.'" "'I can't meet Nergis right now,' he said." "'If you want, let them talk first, and then we'll see what we'll do.'" "He says Ahmet wasn't busy at home, but I'll ask," he says. "My mother came and told me this," she says. "I couldn't understand it," he says. "I called Ahmet. 'Okay, let's meet,' Ahmet says." "We met, but Ahmet is very cold," he says. "He came from Istanbul, it's been about 2.5 to 3 weeks since we haven't met, and he's still like this." "So, Ahmet, what about the engagement? Your mother told my mother this and that." "We haven't talked at all. I don't think we should do it this summer. Let's do the engagement next summer." "Why?" "I wasn't thrilled about the engagement either, but now that everyone has talked about it and decided, why are we changing our minds?" "Ahmet stood in front of me and said, 'I think we need to get to know each other a little more.'" "I was shocked." "I was very upset." "It's like you're starting to see my true colors. You want to know me better before getting engaged." "What does that mean?" Nergis asks. "We're in a long-distance relationship. We only talk on the phone." "I want to get to know you better before getting engaged," he says. "Ahmet says, 'Look, you've been here for 3 weeks, and you haven't met me.'" "So, when there was an opportunity, you didn't try to get to know me." "Now, how can I say that Ahmet wants to get to know me better?" "That's why he wants to postpone the engagement." "Then he paused and said, 'Honestly, Nergis, it's up to you.'" "'If you really want it, then let's have the engagement.'" "I was very upset," he says. "I started crying and went home," he says. "My mother saw me crying, of course." "'Daughter, what happened?' 'What did he say?' 'Did Ahmet say something?' 'Why are you upset?'" "I told her everything as it happened," he says. "She couldn't understand it, and rightly so." "Because she knows we don't have a problem." "'So what happened that he said this to you?'" she says. "'This and that happened with Banu.'" "'And I reacted like that.'" "'There's been this coldness since then.'" "'I thought it had gotten better, but now that you're saying this, this is the only reason that comes to my mind.'" "'Do you think I reacted wrongly, Mom?'" "'Honestly, daughter,' she says, 'I told you from the beginning. It's not normal for them to meet so much.'" "'Now the engagement is being postponed because of Banu.'" "'That's what I understand.'" "When she said that, I felt bad." "'Mom, no, I don't think so.'" "'It's not because of that, but maybe he found my reaction there to be malicious.'" "I'm trying to soften the situation." "I'm also trying not to make Ahmet look bad in my mother's eyes." "Ahmet's mother called," he says. "'Let's come and talk about this engagement.'" "Ahmet texts me," he says. "'You misunderstood me.'" "'I called out to you a lot, but you didn't stop.'" "'I didn't want to say it should end.'" "He started to twist things, but it didn't feel like he was twisting my words, rather I thought he regretted it," he says. "Honestly, people either have a veil over their eyes, or it's because my mother and father always raised me to be understanding towards people, not to treat anyone badly, to be forgiving even if they do you wrong." "I used to try to find the good in everything people said, even when they were clearly saying something else." "My mother, his mother, me, we sat down and talked about the engagement, and we got engaged in August," he says. "A week later, Ahmet went to Istanbul because school was starting." "The first semester of school passed." "During the mid-term break, Ahmet told me, 'I'm not coming this holiday.'" "'I have school-related matters.'" "'It will be too much trouble to travel back and forth, I need to stay here for a day or two.'" "So I said, 'Okay.'" "In the meantime, my family doesn't allow me to go to Istanbul and meet Ahmet," he says. "Ahmet must come for us to be able to meet." "The holiday started," he says. "Banu came." "Two days later, my sister-in-law came to our house." "I said, 'Where's Banu? Why didn't she come?'" "'Oh, she returned to Istanbul.'" "'They have a project.'" "'They need to complete it before school starts.'" "'They'll get notes from there in the second semester.'" "My sister-in-law and uncle don't understand anything about university-related matters," he says. "They are very easy to fool." "But it seemed very absurd to me." "Because Banu's major is not the kind of major where such a project would be done and completed." "Normally, an extra fee needs to be paid to stay in the dormitory during that mid-term break." "However, I would know if it was paid because my father would pay it." "I felt uneasy, but I couldn't react because I had already gotten a reaction from Ahmet in that other incident," he says. "Ahmet and I talk every day, just once," he says. "It's normal there too." "In the meantime, Ahmet also has dormitory problems." "He's going to move into a house with his friends." "But because there are too many people, his friends' house is not enough." "They need to find a new house and move in 10 to 15 days." "The second semester started." "In the meantime, when the topic comes up, Banu and Ahmet are not meeting," he says. "That's what I know." "We don't talk to Banu much anymore," he says. "We used to talk once or twice every day, but now we don't talk much." "We text a lot." "Maybe once or twice a week." "Ahmet also acts like I'm his best friend," he says. "Like I'm not his girlfriend." "At that time, we are in the second semester of our third year, and my classes have become very difficult." "I'm struggling a lot, getting low grades." "I'm trying to deal with them." "Meanwhile, Ahmet's mother has started playing the role of mother-in-law." "She calls me when her relatives come over." "She calls me when she goes somewhere for a trip." "'Come with me,' she says." "I go because I don't want to offend her," he says. "And she's starting to overwhelm me." "Soon, our schools will be over," he says. "Banu has one more year." "I'm slowly asking Ahmet, 'Will the wedding be this summer?'" "'My parents are talking like that.'" "'Your mother is also telling me that.'" "'We haven't made any preparations.'" "I ask him this in phone calls." "Ahmet always says, 'I don't know, my school might be extended.'" "'Two of my classes are very shaky.'" "I say, 'You can take summer school and finish them.'" "'It's not worth extending your school for two classes.'" "'Let's see the second semester.'" "We've reached the end of the second semester," he says. "If the wedding is going to be this summer, we need to make preparations much earlier." "Ahmet's family asks ours," he says. "Ours ask me." "I ask Ahmet," he says. "Ahmet reacts as if I'm suffocating him." "So I don't want to ask anymore." "There's a wedding issue that's left hanging." "After the finals are over, I told Ahmet seriously one day," he says. "'Look, everyone is asking me.'" "'You're not here, so everyone is bothering me.'" "'Your family and my family.'" "'What am I going to tell these people?'" "'Tell me something now.'" "Until that day, he paused. He paused and said, 'I failed three courses.'" "'I'll be in summer school.'" "'I won't come.'" "'I'll come around mid-August.'" "'If I pass the exams, we'll have the wedding.'" "'If I don't, my school will be extended.'" "'So there's no need to plan in advance.'" "He says it as if it's a birthday party organization." "If you pass the courses, how will we have the wedding in two weeks?" "Well, then, if you want, let's postpone it from now." "Also, when I come there, I'll look for work and stuff." "I don't know if I'll live there or establish a life in Istanbul." "'We'll establish,' he doesn't say." "Now, those who came to me have come," he says. "I'm not happy at all." "When this happened, I felt so bad," he says. "I called a very close friend from school." "I started crying on the phone to her." "'This and that happened, Ahmet wants to postpone the wedding.'" "She also knew about our small arguments with Ahmet, these coldnesses," she says. "She always tells me, 'Look, Nergis, people don't just cool off from someone for no reason.'" "'Could this child have someone else in mind?'" "'Maybe his mind wandered to someone from school?'" "'No, I never suspected anything like that, I haven't heard anything.'" "Nergis's friend tells Nergis, 'I think you should investigate this.'" "'There's a problem here.'" "'Something happened to this child.'" "Did my uncle come to us? Did we go to them? I don't remember." "We're together." "My mother asked, 'Didn't Banu come?' 'When is she coming?'" "It's almost the end of June," he says. "Her grades in one or two courses were bad." "'She has to take a make-up exam.'" "I don't know why." "Then a lightning bolt struck me." "'There's something between them.'" "It's not because I heard something extra or suspected something." "It's just that they stayed in Istanbul at times when they shouldn't have, and I connected it to my situation during that 15-day holiday, and now I called Banu." "She says she's coming from outside." "'I'm studying,' she said at first." "Then, when there was a lot of noise from behind, 'Oh, it sounds like I'm outside,' I said." "'We came to a live music event with friends,' she said." "Then I couldn't stand it anymore," he says. "I asked about Ahmet." "'Do you ever run into each other?' 'Have you talked?'" "Her voice suddenly cut off," he says. "Her tone of voice changed," he says. "She seemed a bit nervous." "'Oh, why?' she asks, but her attitude, her way of speaking has changed a lot," he says. "'I wonder if she has a problem that I don't know about.'" "'Honestly, I don't know, I haven't met her at all.'" "'If you want, I'll call you tomorrow and we can talk.'" "'There's too much noise now, I can't hear you.'" "In the meantime, they are at the live music event." "The person on stage said, 'We're taking a short break.'" "'I'll be back with this song,' he said." "He said the name of the song." "I said, 'Okay, have fun.'" "I hung up the phone." "Something prompted me," he says. "I called Ahmet." "He didn't answer at first, the call ended," he says. "I called again, and then he answered." "Maybe he realized I was suspicious and answered to brush me off, I don't know why." "'What are you doing, my love?' I said." "'We went out with friends.'" "'They go to indoor soccer and stuff very often.'" "'Did you go to indoor soccer?'" "But there's a lot of people's voices from behind," he says. "Talking voices." "'No,' he says." "'We're drinking something, we went out, normal conversation.'" "'Ah, okay, good for you.'" "'Also, your mother called today.'" "'She's inviting you over for tea tomorrow.'" "'I'll go there, your brother, me, we'll sit, maybe my mother will come too.'" "I'm telling it like this," he says. "'Okay, we'll talk about Nergis tomorrow, sometime.'" "'I'm not very available right now.'" "'The kids are waiting for me to hang up.'" "So I said, 'Am I upset about something? Is my mood down?'" "She says, 'You've been a bit troubled lately.'" "Before she even finished her sentence," he says. "I heard the artist speaking into the microphone at the live music event." "'Yes, we're back, we're starting,' he said." "When I turned back to Banu's phone, he said, 'I'll sing this song.'" "It was a song by Serdar Ortaç," he says. "The song he said he would sing started," he says. "I realized they were in the same place." "My hands and feet went numb." "Normally, I'm so foolish that I would even think they were meeting my friend secretly," he says. "Like, because I reacted like that two years ago, they don't tell me anymore." "I could have even thought they were meeting as normal friends, as a friend group, but then I lost it." "'I don't have anything,' and so on." "He's answering my questions." "He didn't understand what I understood." "'Give me Banu,' I said." "'Don't be silly, there's no Banu,' he said." "He hung up the phone in my face." "I call him, I call him." "I call him, I call him." "They're not answering their phones," he says. "If Banu isn't with you, why isn't Banu answering my phone?" "I talked to Banu 5 minutes ago." "She normally would answer, what happened?" "I'm texting, 'Answer your phones.'" "I'm acting like a creep," he says, "but I'm set up." "Ahmet answered." "What happened?" "Why are you calling so much, Nergis?" "We can't chat with friends," he says, "but his voice is trembling." "I know." "There's so much noise," he says, "I know." "His voice is trembling." "Ahmet, give Banu the phone, or else I'll raise hell with your entire lineage," he says. "There was a silence," he says. "He didn't say anything." "Then Banu took the phone," he says. "I started," he says. "'What kind of person are you?' 'What a liar you are!' 'You're so sneaky!'" "'So this was your problem.'" "I'm cursing him out." "He says, 'What are you saying?'" "'We came here as friends.'" "'We have our friends with us.'" "'Keep your perverted ideas to yourself.'" "Give him the phone," I said. "I took Ahmet again." "I started cursing at Ahmet," he says. "'If there was nothing between you, you wouldn't hide this from me.'" "'Your recent coldness towards me, postponing the wedding date, talking one way and then another, it's all because of this.'" "There, I'm also cursing Banu." "'If I don't disgrace you, what am I?'" "I went crazy, but I'm cursing, which is something I never do in my life," he says. "My mother came into the room." "Ahmet is on the phone," he says. "I'm shouting and telling my mother," he says. "'That point, point, Banu seduced my fiancé!'" "My mother was shocked," he says. "I was already having a nervous breakdown." "I don't remember anything after that." "Anyway, this incident, of course, became known." "My uncle, my sister-in-law, my grandmother, my aunt in Germany, everyone heard about it," he says. "And I did everything I could to make sure they heard," he says. "My father kept saying, 'You must have misunderstood this.'" "'Banu wouldn't do something like that.'" "'Banu is like your sister.'" "As he said that, I would curse," he says. "'She's not my sister, that point, point!'" "'How many times have I covered for her?'" "'How many times have I protected and looked out for her?'" "'She took my fiancé from me.'" "As I cursed, my father started shouting," he says. "Then my mother says, 'Don't shout at the child, don't you see how she is?'" "And everyone is blaming me," he says. "I'm a slanderer." "'Banu would never do something like that to me.'" "That evening, she called her mother crying," he says. "'Nergis misunderstood us very badly.'" "'What did she accuse me of?'" "'I will never forgive her again.'" "She says, 'I will never forgive her again.'" "She says, 'I'm such a slanderer, this and that.'" "'How could I attribute something like this to her?'" "And she's trying to get the upper hand," he says. "I'm having a crisis and I'm hospitalized." "My uncle called my father to ask for an explanation," he says. "'How could Nergis do something like this?'" "'How could she attribute something like this to Banu?'" "'Banu sees Ahmet as her older brother in these wedding matters.'" "'Knowing that Nergis is upset, she doesn't know I'm upset.'" "'She stopped talking to me.'" "'How could she know?'" "'Knowing that Nergis is very upset, she wanted to talk to Ahmet.'" "Ahmet was going to have fun with his friends." "He invited Banu there." "Banu went with the hope that she could talk and fix their relationship." "My grandmother is also behind this defense," he says. "Because, according to my grandmother, my mother and I are wrong in everything." "That's why my father continues to talk to my uncle, my sister-in-law, everyone." "Banu calls my father," he says. "She begs my father." "'Uncle, am I the kind of person who would do something like this?'" "'Don't you know me at all?'" "'I grew up in your hands.'" "'I can do anything for anyone, but I would never do something like this to you.'" "Wait, there's one more sentence, I'll look and come back." "If even one person can prove that I did this, 'Come spit in my face,' she says." "My father also says, 'Instead of protecting his own daughter and believing her, he came and told me, 'They said such big words.'" "'If something like this happened, would they say such big words?'" "'Who filled your head to go after this girl?'" "'Look, you also ruined your relationship with your fiancé.'" "In the meantime, my future mother-in-law is calling me," he says. "'What happened?' 'We didn't understand anything.'" "Because, where does your future mother-in-law learn this?" "Of course, her son doesn't tell her," he says. "Banu, the fool, calls my future mother-in-law crying," he says. "'If you hear such and such things, don't believe them.'" "'Nergis is imagining these things.'" "'Neither I nor your son have ever done anything like this.'" "'She disgraced me to my family.'" "'She'll probably call you and badmouth your son.'" "'I'm warning you from the start.'" "My father also says, 'You didn't get angry about anything.'" "'Okay, you can call Banu and say, daughter, what happened inside our family, why did you go and tell these people?'" "'He came to me and said, 'If she had really done something, she wouldn't have called those people and said something like that.''" "'She's almost breaking up with Ahmet.'" "I haven't looked Banu in the face again," he says. "Because I'm very sure they're together," he says. "But I don't have 100% proof," he says. "I don't have anything concrete, and everyone believes I'm a liar," he says. "They believe I'm slandering." "I'm jealous of Banu," he says. "That's why I'm slandering." "Only my mother didn't give me much encouragement." "'Yes, you're right, you're like this, you're like that,' not like that, but she defended me against my father." "Banu returned to our hometown in a hurry." "Of course, when the incident blew up, Banu probably stayed with Ahmet," he says. "She also told her family, 'I have friends who live in their own houses from school in Istanbul.'" "'I asked them, I'll stay there.'" "But I'm very sure that's not the case," he says. "Because Banu has no friends from school." "She's probably staying in the house Ahmet rented with his friends," he says. "But I can't prove it." "For 6-7 months, no one talks to me," he says. "Including my father, only my mother talks to me," he says. "My mother constantly relays the words of my father, my uncle, my sister-in-law, Banu, my grandmother, that I'm a liar, that I'm paranoid." "And I'm hearing these things too." "There was a holiday during that time," he says. "My father insisted, 'You're going to your grandmother's.'" "'I'm not coming.'" "'I don't want to see that girl's face,' I said." "Because they will also be there." "'I know.'" "'No, you're coming.'" "'I went there by force,' he says." "'My father pressured me a lot.'" "'You will reconcile, you will apologize.'" "He keeps saying, 'I never raised a daughter like this.'" "'How did you become like this?'" "'We always taught you that there should be no grudges within the family.'" "'You're so resentful.'" "My father says these things to me," he says. "By pressuring me," he says. "That holiday, I apologized to Banu in front of everyone." "Banu also deigned to forgive me half-heartedly," he says. "They made us kiss," he says. "We hugged and stuff, but I felt disgusted by her," he says. "I did everything because of my father." "Our engagement with Ahmet is over," he says. "My father said, after all this disgrace, this won't work anymore," he says. "Ahmet and I never spoke again," he says. "Ahmet's family also called me after Banu called me," he says. "Then the topic never came up again." "A year and a half passed since all this," he says. "We still meet with my uncle and stuff, but I'm not very close," he says. "My mother also calls less often," she says. "My father is, of course, extremely uncomfortable with this situation." "Because we used to spend 3-4 evenings a week together." "Now it's one evening a week, sometimes every two weeks." "My mother, knowing that I'm uncomfortable, is trying to do something," she says. "She's trying to find excuses." "There isn't much dialogue, but if there were, would they say it anyway?" "A year and a half passed," he says. "Banu finished school and stuff." "She came to me too," he says. "A rumor came out," he says. "I don't remember where we heard it." "Maybe from my grandmother, maybe from someone." "We heard a rumor." "She found a job in Istanbul." "She's going to settle in Istanbul, but I have no news from Ahmet or anything," he says. "Especially, I don't want to get news," he says. "We were very surprised," he says. "I remember, we talked with my mother, 'What kind of job did she find?' 'How did she find a job in Istanbul?' 'She'll live there too.'" "She graduated from a very mediocre major." "With great difficulty." "Her family can't support her either." "They didn't ask my father for money." "Anyway, a lot of time passed," he says. "In the meantime, I got a job and I'm working," he says. "One day, my mother needs to send money to my maternal grandmother," he says. "For something." "For something of my maternal grandmother's." "But it's not a very small amount of money." "My mother told my father a few weeks in advance," he says. "'I need to give my mother this much money by this date, can we?'" "My father said, 'Of course, we can.'" "My mother says, we're eating, we're at the table." "My mother reminded him, 'We were going to send money to my mother, tomorrow is the last day.'" "'Can you withdraw it and send it?'" "My father paused and said, 'I forgot.'" "'My brother came to me today and asked for money,' he says, referring to my uncle." "'I gave him a lot of money.'" "'Now, how will I arrange it for tomorrow?'" "'Let me see,' he says." "'I'll look at the situation.'" "My mother also paused and said, 'What could it be that she needs so much money for her brother?'" "'She said, I think Banu is getting married.'" "'They're going to live in Istanbul.'" "'They want to fix up the furniture for that house a little bit.'" "'That's what she needs it for.'" "My mother and I were very surprised," he says. "How is she getting married?" "We had no idea." "'No one told us anything.'" "I said, 'Honestly, I don't know, I didn't ask much.'" "Last week, her family came and met them," he says. "So, there won't be a wedding, just a marriage registration," he says. "At that moment, I was momentarily unguarded and said, 'Dad, your family, whom you value so much, whom we invite to everything we do, didn't even bother to meet or tell you about their daughter getting married?'" "I already had this resentment towards my father after all these incidents," he says. "My father also looked at me differently than before," he says. "He looked at me askance," he says. "He shook his head." "My mother also got angry," she says. "'What are you shaking your head for?'" "'The girl is right.'" "'Nergis's engagement, wedding, we invited everyone everywhere.'" "'Now she's getting married like she's telling a neighbor.'" "'And they want money from us.'" "'What does that mean?' she says." "'Why didn't you tell us?'" "'You made a huge fuss when your mother and sister weren't invited to the engagement.'" "'Look, they don't invite us to anything.'" "'Let alone not inviting us, they don't even tell us, they don't inform us.'" "My father started defending again," he says. "'They must have wanted to do it that way.'" "'What can I say?'" "'Can you say, why didn't you invite me?'" "'My family is bothering you, and so on.'" "He got up and left the table," he says. "My mother and I were left like this," he says. "Now, if I know Banu a little, Banu will announce all the engagements, weddings, and everything to the whole world," he says. "Because she loves it." "Everyone talks about her." "Everyone rushes around for her events." "Even as a child, she would celebrate her birthday for a week," he says. "When we had our engagement, we had a normal hall engagement," he says. "It was nice, there were decorations, food, and stuff," he says. "She always used to tell me, 'I would never have such a dull engagement.'" "'They will pick me up from the door with drums and trumpets.'" "My mother and I started talking about this," he says. "'How did this girl end up having just a marriage registration in Istanbul?'" "'Buse, they are marrying Ahmet.'" "'How did we learn this?'" "Let me get to that." "This was about 3-4 months after my uncle asked my father for money," he says. "One day, my sister-in-law, my uncle, and Banu's younger brother, he was very young, came to us," he says. "But my uncle and sister-in-law were both embarrassed and fidgeting." "They wanted to say something, but they couldn't." "Until then, my mother hadn't said anything like, 'Congratulations, Banu is getting married.'" "We were acting like we didn't know she asked for money from my father, that there would be a wedding." "That day, my mother couldn't stand it anymore," he says. "She turned to my sister-in-law and said, 'Congratulations, by the way, are you marrying off Banu?'" "'It seems they met, I didn't know.'" "'I just found out.'" "'Congratulations.'" "She said it with a bit of a defiant attitude," he says. "Then they started fidgeting even more," he says. "'It was very sudden.'" "'We came to talk to you about it.'" "My father said, 'Something happened.'" "'Is there a problem?'" "'Did something bad happen?'" "When he asked, he says, 'It's not like something bad happened, but you might misunderstand.'" "The first thing that came to my mind was, 'They're going to do it in Istanbul, but we're going to do it among ourselves.'" "'Like, they're going to tell us not to come.'" "And I thought, 'Banu is probably still mad at me.'" "'She doesn't want us.'" "'What's up?'" "Nergis's father asks, 'My son, is there a problem?'" "'If you need anything, and so on.'" "My father immediately says, 'The safe is ready.'" "'If you need money, I'll give it.'" "'No, uncle,' he says, 'it's not about that, but the person Banu is marrying, you know him.'" "When he said that, I understood," he says. "My father says, 'What's up? Where do we know him from?'" "'From the neighborhood? From Istanbul?'" "He says, 'Banu and Ahmet are getting married.'" "My father was stunned," he says. "But, uncle, definitely, my mother and I are not being considered at all," he says. "My sister-in-law immediately intervened," he says. "'It's definitely not what you think.'" "'Don't think it's something from back then.'" "After this incident, Ahmet called Banu a couple of times," he says. "'Sorry, you've fallen into a bad light in front of your family because of me.'" "'What bad light?'" "'I'm the one who fell into a bad light.'" "'You've been declared an angel.'" "'You've fallen into a bad light.'" "'I want to apologize to you.'" "There, they probably met a couple of times," he says. "After a lot of time passed, Ahmet called Banu," he says. "'You are a very kind-hearted person.'" "'And they sat next to me and told me these things.'" "'You are so good, you are so good.'" "'You were by my side during my troubles back then.'" "'What troubles?'" "'I want to meet you,' he said." "Banu refused many times," he says. "She refused many times." "When Ahmet insisted a lot, ours probably started to like him," he says. "It happened very recently," he says. "They decided to get married immediately." "I expected something from my father," he says. "'Like, what's what has become clear.'" "'Even if he didn't curse, I expected him to say, 'Okay, we understand what's what, congratulations,' and show us the door.'" "What did my father do?" "'Buse, love can be like that.'" "'Exactly,' he says. 'That's the sentence.'" "'Love can be like that, son.'" "'Congratulations.'" "'May God make you happy and prosperous.'" "'If you need anything, let me know.'" "'When is the wedding?' he asked." "Now, definitely and clearly, my father is finished in my eyes." "He swallowed the injustice done to his own child to exonerate his nephew." "4-5 years passed since this incident," he says. "In the meantime, they really got married," he says. "They live in Istanbul." "My aunt in Germany and my mother have a very good relationship," he says. "When these incidents happened, my mother told my aunt," he says. "My sister-in-law called my aunt, 'We're waiting for the wedding, and so on.'" "My aunt gave her a piece of her mind," he says. "'I can't come to celebrate when one of my nieces is upset.'" "'I don't understand what you're doing.'" "'People don't do that to their own blood,' she said." "She hung up the phone." "That aunt of mine stood by me between them," he says. "We still talk a lot," he says. "I also went to see her once," he says. "For example, my eldest aunt doesn't talk to Banu," he says. "She never calls or asks about her." "Banu greets her and calls her during holidays because she knows she has money," he says. "She tries to keep on her good side, but my aunt doesn't care at all," he says. "'Thank you, happy holidays to you too,' she says and hangs up." "I didn't go to the wedding either," he says. "My mother didn't go either," he says. "My father made a huge fuss," he says. "'You will come.'" "Does anyone pressure their daughter to come to the wedding of their ex-fiancé's cousin?" "My father did this," he says. "Like, this kind of madness, this devotion to his family." "Now, I don't talk to anyone," he says. "Like, I talk to my uncle, my sister-in-law, my grandmother, my younger aunt occasionally," he says. "My father, especially because I don't talk to my grandmother, he was mad at me for a while," he says. "'For a year and a half, don't talk to me.'" "Currently, although I'm not married, I have a boyfriend I'm seeing," he says. "We have to talk in the house because of my father," he says. "My father was still giving money to my uncle until recently," he says. "7 months ago, my grandmother passed away," he says. "I went to the funeral," he says. "Banu came." "Ahmet didn't come to the funeral." "Later, I learned that my eldest aunt had also come," he says. "I learned from my eldest aunt that Banu told Ahmet, 'You don't come.'" "'Nergis might cause an unpleasantness.'" "'It won't be appropriate there.'" "She told my aunt like this," he says. "My father also said, 'Brother, it's very clear what's what.'" "'Your daughter didn't create a scene for no reason.'" "'I understood what was what from there.'" "'Didn't you understand here?'" "From that day on, my father started to be a little like that," he says. "My uncle and his family, according to him, a little bit, according to us, a little bit, he put some distance after my aunt's words," he says. "I have no dialogue with Banu anymore," he says. "My mother also doesn't talk to my sister-in-law and stuff like that anymore," he says. "During holidays and festivals, they come because they see my father as the elder," he says. "In the meantime, there's about a 2.5-year age difference between my father and my uncle, so my father is not much older." "I also have someone in my life right now," he says. "It's not something serious, no engagement or anything, but he's a decent person." "I wanted to tell you this story because sometimes your biggest enemy can be your closest person." "The person I'm talking about here is not Banu." "Because my father, if he wasn't so blindly devoted to his own family, if he was a person who truly valued my mother and me, perhaps I wouldn't have experienced half of what I went through." "We are also waiting for your comments under the video." "I would be very happy if you follow my page and like the video." "You can also follow me on Instagram and TikTok." "I love you all. See you later. Bye bye."