Transcription
Hey guys, welcome or welcome back to the channel. This week I'm going to be walking you through the things that I am no longer available for. And when I became unavailable for these things, my life improved dramatically. I'm going to account a lot of my success in my relationships, in my lifestyle, in my career, and everything in my health and happiness and everything to me becoming unavailable for the things that I'm going to be sharing with you in this video. So, welcome. Happy Sunday.
If you're listening on Spotify, you won't see that I'm in a different format. I'm actually getting ready to go um to a lunch, so I'm recording this while you get ready with me. This is not a freaking makeup tutorial, okay? So, don't expect amazing makeup because there's not going to be that here. But there is going to be hopefully some tips and some advice that you can take on board and go away with that is going to immediately improve your life because if I had adopted these things sooner, my life would have changed so much sooner. So much sooner. Okay, so I'm going to start my makeup. Let's get into it.
Okay, the first thing that I'm no longer available for is worrying. And it's changed my life so dramatically. And the only thing you need to realize to stop worrying is that no amount of worrying is going to solve anything. It's actually just going to create problems for you. So, I used to be someone who'd wake up in the morning and I'd have like this just stress stress on my shoulders. I'm not going to call it anxiety cuz I've had anxiety and I know it wasn't exactly anxiety, but it was very heavy. It was almost like anxiety. It was extreme just stress and pressure. And when I started meditating, I started breaking the habit of dwelling in a state of worrying about the future. And even outside of meditation, I wanted to take it a step further because I would meditate in the morning and I would feel better. But I wanted to get to a point where I didn't need to meditate in order to start shifting my focus and shifting dwelling on things and worrying about things.
So now every single morning when I wake up, I check myself and I'm I ask myself, what are you carrying that you don't need to carry? What are you trying to predict and figure out and analyze and problem solve into the future that you've got no control over? What are you trying to control that is not your business to control and that you literally have no power over? So, I'll do a little audit of the things that I'm carrying in my mind and dwelling on and worrying about every single day, specifically whenever I shower cuz I just know I've like habit stacked that. And I'm always there's always something there's always something that I'm like holding on to a little bit too much that I'm gripping on to in the back of my mind. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to, you know, think of every possible solution and every possible outcome and every possible thing that could go wrong when all that's doing is robbing me of my power and robbing me of my energy. And as soon as I notice that I'm doing that, I then ask myself, okay, are you going to actually figure this out by thinking about it more? The answer is usually no. And then I say, okay, I am not available for this. I am not available to keep carrying this thing when me carrying it is not solving anything. And so I give myself permission to let it go.
And the reason this is so important is because your mind is a garden. And it's your job to tend to that garden and to pull out any weeds that are poisoning your enjoyment of your garden. You've got to cultivate a mind, a mental landscape that you genuinely enjoy and can relax in and feel safe in. And one of the biggest weeds that's going to pollute that garden is you worrying and dwelling constantly about things that you cannot control. I'm not going to make my mental world, my garden poisonous by putting weeds in there that do not solve anything and that don't serve me. So, I'm not available for it. You'd actually be shocked how much better things turn out when you stop doing this because when you worry, you essentially ask for the hard route. You ask for the problem to come true. You ask for the difficult thing because you're looking at how bad can this be? But when you let it go, you open up to a better possibility unfolding for you. The craziest thing happens when you start doing this. Like part of you is going to really fear releasing that control and letting it go cuz it's like, well, if I don't worry about it all the time, then what's going to happen? It's never going to work out. You're going to realize that it's going to work out even better when you stop worrying about it. And the world is not going to fall down and crumble around you. So become unavailable for worrying and see how dramatically that improves your life.
Now point number two that I'm not available for is the antidote actually to point number one. I'm no longer available for avoiding the things that I know I should be facing. I cannot avoid them. The reason this is the antidote to point number one is because you tend to cling on to things that you can't control when you've been avoiding the things that actually are in your control. So this I speak about sometimes, but this is wounded masculine energy. It's a symptom of wounded masculine energy. When you're overthinking, when you're dwelling, when you're worrying about everything that's not in your power, it's a symptom that you haven't actually been focusing at all on the things that are in your power. And so, how you instantly heal and you come out of that wounded masculine energy into more healthy masculine energy is you release the things that you've got no power or control over. And you immediately, I can't open this. You let go of the things that you have no power or control over and you instead put all your energy and focus on the things that you do have power and control over.
So I'm not available for avoiding my tasks. I'm not available for avoiding difficult conversations. I'm not available for avoiding, you know, uncomfortable phases of growth. And I'm not available especially for avoiding my emotions and my blocks. Avoidance in general is just something that I am not available for. And I can't tell you how much it has improved my life because when you're avoiding things, you know, on a subconscious level that you're doing that and you begin to lose trust and faith in yourself and having trust in yourself, I always say, is your secret weapon in life. When you trust yourself, you know, you can have be do anything that you want and nothing actually will phase you. Okay? But if you're avoiding things all the time, you you can lie to yourself about it, but on some level, you know that you're doing that. And so it damages that relationship with yourself, which is too high of a price to pay. So avoidance, we are unavailable for that.
And the last point that kind of ties in with the other two is I'm no longer available for dwelling, complaining, or focusing on problems. God, it's hard to speak while doing eyeliner. But if I can't sort it, I don't stay on it. And this I have like an autopilot system now for this because I realized you can either be operating from the frequency of problems or you can be operating from the frequency of solutions. And so long as you're dwelling, dwelling, dwelling on your problems, you are not going to find a solution. You're going to be in the consciousness of a problem, which is not the consciousness of a solution. So literally I do this if I feel like okay I'm just being a little bit mooney. I'm not in a productive mindset to be talking about this or actually trying to figure it out. I will just leave it. This happened a couple of days ago. I was speaking with my partner about something that I wanted to implement in my business or something that I was frustrated with in my business. And I realized I was kind of just I was really really tired and I wasn't being productive in the way that I was speaking about it. And I noticed I was just kind of moaning. Like I was kind of just complaining, which okay, you shouldn't bottle up your emotions, but when it becomes unproductive and it just turns into complaining, I am not available for that because that just keeps you in the energy of having problems, okay? And you're not going to figure anything out. So I literally turned to him and I I stopped the conversation short and I was like, "Sorry, I actually can't talk about this anymore because I'm not going to be problem. I'm not going to be solution focused. I'm literally just going to focus on problems. So let's park this and we could talk about it again tomorrow." So I went, I relaxed, I got into a better mood and then I came back to it and I was in a solution mindset and then I was able to actually start being productive about the thing that I wanted to manage basically.
Okay. The next thing that I'm no longer available for is doubting myself. I've basically developed this attitude in life that nothing is bigger than me. Like no matter what obstacle I face, no matter what like next level I want to go to, nothing is off limits to me and nothing is bigger than me. I just need to, you know, shift my identity, learn the skills I need to learn, and I can have basically anything that I want to have in this life. So, this is something you actually learn with practice as well. But you have to make a conscious decision like I'm no longer available for doubting whether I can handle anything that comes at me. And this is going to help you so much in stepping outside your comfort zone because you know like no matter what happens, you can handle it. So, this also helps to not like be putting things on pedestals anymore as outside your reach or off limits for you. And even anytime I set a new goal that might scare me a little bit or that I know I need to shift my identity or stretch myself for, I always remind myself of the times that I thought I wasn't able to do something or I thought something would be bigger than me and I was able to rise to the occasion. And it's like that at every single level. And I always say, if someone else can have it or do it or be it, so can I. So, I'm not available for self-doubt.
This one I became unavailable for years ago, and it really kickstarted having more confidence in myself, being able to do bigger and better things in my life. And that is becoming unavailable for putting myself down. I cannot now when I hear someone putting themselves down, I just know how detrimental that is to everything in their reality. And like the words you speak are the house that you're living in. So even if you you're frustrated with yourself or you want to improve something, say for example like your appearance or your weight or anything your finances, it's so much easier to make those changes from an energy of self-compassion where you're moving like making moves and making changes because you love yourself and you want to improve yourself and improve your life, not because you hate yourself and you're just putting yourself down all the time. that's going to put you in a negative feedback loop where you're just punishing yourself and that's not going to lead to lasting change. So I always say in this life you need to be your own best friend because the world can be a harsh place and a challenging place. And it's a lot easier to move through challenges and obstacles and make improvements in your life with grace when you are your best friend and you're standing in your own corner. And even if you make mistakes and you fall back, like having that compassion for yourself helps you to just understand yourself better rather than judging yourself and putting yourself down all the time. Because as a byproduct, automatically if you want to be more confident, just start acting like a confident person would. And a confident person wouldn't be talking about themselves. So I am not available for that.
The next one I'm no longer available for is being so serious all the time. I used to think my problems were the end of the world. Like I used to be so narrowly focused and I thought everything was just so serious and all my problems were literally life and death. But they weren't. So like the things that I used to stress about and be worried about me now from my perspective I'm like oh my god girl get a grip. So now when I start stressing and dwelling on things, I always try to think about it like from a bird's eye view, like my higher self's perspective. Is this really that bad and that serious? And usually the answer is no. Like if something is not life and death endangering my health or the people that I love, then it is actually not that deep. It's not that serious. And you can kind of just get this attitude of laughing at yourself when you do start to think this too seriously. It's like, oh my god, okay, what am I really so stressed about? Like, okay, I'm going to be 5 minutes late for a meeting. I'm going to be like, I don't know, on a on a phone call with someone discussing strategy that I've never done before and I might be outside my comfort zone. Like the things that we're actually stressing about, they're really actually silly. So, I have become unavailable to being so serious all the time. And something that helped me do this is I this I I made this like mindset ages ago, literally years ago when I used to work in hospitality in pubs in Ireland. But I was like, "Okay, nothing is actually that serious." Because if I lose everything, I still have myself, which means I will still have the ability to create a magical wonderful life experience for myself. So long as I have myself and my health and my loved ones are okay, nothing is that serious.
This one, this one, when I became unavailable for this, oh my god, everything started shifting. Everything, everything, everything. I am no longer available for abandoning myself. And this I'm getting better and better and better at. I'm not available for ignoring my intuition. I'm not available for ignoring my body. I am not available for disrespecting my own boundaries. I am not available for sacrificing myself just to please other people. No. If if you could in include any of these into your life, this one I think is honestly the biggest biggest hack and the biggest key. And yes, it's something that's really uncomfortable to do sometimes. like setting boundaries, um saying no, you know, even when you don't have like a specific reason, even when it's just a feeling, it is kind of uncomfortable to do that. But part of this as well is I'm not available for explaining myself anymore. So recently, I've really dialed into this to the extent that if my intuition is saying no to something and I don't even know why, that's reason enough for me. And I can't tell you the level of selfrust that you get when you start moving like this is insane because yes, it's uncomfortable to say no and to set a boundary, especially if you're just doing it for like sheer intuition. You don't really have like a solid reason that other people are going to understand, but it's more uncomfortable to keep abandoning yourself. Because when you keep abandoning yourself, you lose trust in yourself and you don't really understand who you are, what you want, and you don't trust yourself to create a magical life on your own terms. And that cost is too high to pay.
When you start like really moving like you value yourself, your time, your intuition, your boundaries, the world will eventually mirror that back to you in everything, in your relationships, in your finances, in everything. But at first, it might feel a little bit lonely. That is the price that you initially pay. But after that, you get the payoff of first of all having a solid ass relationship with yourself and your intuition. And then second of all, you will attract the people, situations, everything that actually fully resonate with you and won't cross your boundaries and will understand, you know, your needs and your intuition and everything like that.
The last thing I'm no longer available for is comparison and inauthenticity. changing myself to fit in somewhere because I'm comparing to someone. So just because someone else is amazing, it doesn't take away from your amazingness. There's some quote, it's like a flower and a a rose and a lily are both beautiful. Like the the beauty of the rose does not take away from the beauty of the lily. They're both beautiful in their own way. And it's the same thing like when you go out in public and you're interacting with people. For example, when I moved here, I was a lot around a lot of like really successful, beautiful, cool people. And I had a tendency to like try to tune to other people and compare and put myself down. And recently, I've really realized that you lose your value when you do that because your authenticity is the thing that makes you literally shine and sparkle. There is literally no competition when you're in your own lane. And it's just not worth it to abandon yourself. Again, this is about abandoning yourself. But to abandon yourself just because you're around cool people, you are you're most magnetic when you stay true to yourself and your character no matter what room you're in. So, I'm no longer available for deluding myself, censoring myself, changing myself depending on the room that I'm in. Yes, I'll be respectful, but I own who I am fully and I stand on what I say. I used to have this kind of guard up, especially when I was around people who maybe had more success than me or who might have intimidated me a little bit in the past. I used to have this guard up where I would put on a little bit of a front and you know, especially if someone was like unfriendly or whatever, I would want to close my own heart because of that. But you can't let how other people are in this world dictate your character. You can't close your heart just because other people are acting a certain way if that doesn't align with your character. And my partner is such a good example of this because he is an amazing networker and he will go and like talk to anyone. And sometimes people are not friendly, but he never lets that sway him and his energy. And that's why he's become so successful and such a good networker because he stayed true to himself and his values even when people were not so nice.
Okay, that's all for this video, guys. I am running so late. Please remember, you get to decide what you are and aren't available for. This is your life. This is your mindset. This is your world. So, you don't have to keep carrying these patterns that no longer serve you if they're just keeping you small and trapped in a life that you don't love. I hope these points gave you some inspiration. Happy Sunday. I love you all so much.