Transcription
Reframe rejection as redirection. If it's not happening right now for you, it's not meant to happen right now. What is meant for you will find you.
My guest today is a dear friend of mine, one of them—that one over there—she's big money, and it was my guest today. Her name is Amy Porterfield. Amy Porterfield, the ever-amazing bestselling author of *Two Weeks Notice*. Miss Amy, welcome to the very first episode of the Amy Porterfield show!
And listen, if you're an OG of the *Online Marketing Made Easy* podcast, then you're going to love the show because everything you love about *Online Marketing Made Easy*, I'm bringing it over to the new show. But I hope you'll be pleasantly surprised around some of the new topics that we're going to talk about on the Porterfield show. I want to expand on the conversations; I want to go deeper; I want to take you behind the scenes. And so hopefully, I'm going to surprise and delight with some of the topics and conversations that we have on the new show. But I'm not going to step away from talking about online marketing and webinars and conversions and list building and all that good stuff. But I also, like I said, wanted to expand the conversation and really dive into some of those areas of entrepreneurship and building businesses and balancing it all—all those topics that are just as important.
So today, we're going to talk about money. And I want to tell you a quick story before we dive in. So about a year or so ago, I was in line at a coffee shop, and there was this guy behind me, and it was a really long line, so there was nothing I could do but EAS drop right. So he started talking, and he was telling this woman, "I just did this really cool scan; it's called Pruvo," and the scan does an all-over body scan to detect diseases of all kinds, and he was talking about how cool this scan was and how much peace of mind it gave him. And I couldn't help it; I had to turn around, and I said, "Oh my goodness, I've been hearing about this specific scan forever. So you really liked it? Like, tell me more about it." So he told me more; he was gushing about how incredible it was, and then he said, "But it's really expensive, so you should probably look for an alternative. You're probably going to want to look for an alternative because it's really expensive." And in that moment, I said, "Well, good thing I'm rich," and I smiled when I said it. And some of you just cringed. I know. Stay with me here. Bold statement, kind of cringey, but I couldn't help myself because he just assumed I couldn't afford it, but he could. So that's when I said, "Well, good thing I'm rich," and I smiled, and he looked mortified. He could not believe that I just said something like that.
Now, I want to preface this by saying I don't go throwing that phrase around everywhere. However, I wanted to bring it up here because I feel like a statement like that is bold; it's putting it out there; it's kind of owning, uh, my reality. But more so than that, I wanted to bring this up because a lot of my students are on the whole other spectrum of that, where whether they're making a lot of money or not just yet, they downplay wealth; they don't talk about their money; and they don't feel as though they deserve it. And what I mean by that is when they're thinking about pricing their courses, they're pricing them too low because who are they to be asking for that much money online? And they, they don't want to be aggressive with selling, and they don't want to outprice people, so they're going to keep it low. And then they talk about the fact that they hate selling online; they feel sleazy; they feel pushy; they don't want to do it at all, but they know they have to. So there's a lot of kind of limiting beliefs or assumptions or thoughts that come up with wealth and owning it. And a lot of my students aren't yet wealthy; they wouldn't say they're already rich; however, they're on their way to being rich. And I think when you're on your way to being rich—rich—that's when you need to start owning it; that's when you need to start saying, "Well, good thing I'm going to be rich." That one statement, "Well, good thing I'm going to be rich," when you're thinking about things you want to invest in but you can't yet, or when you're thinking about opportunities that you would really like to be involved in but you just can't yet, instead of saying, "I don't make enough money; that's too expensive," say, "Well, good thing I'm going to be rich," because that means one day that thing that you want will be yours.
So the reason I brought up this story, and again, I know it's an extreme example—I'm not running around Nashville telling everyone, "Well, good thing I'm rich"—but in the moments where I think it's called for, I will, because I want to push myself to talk about money more; I want to push myself to own it and really feel confident in my abilities to make money online and look back at my track record and be proud of the success that I've had. And so I don't know why, but over the last, I don't know, year or so, I feel compelled to talk to you more and more about owning your money situation, owning the fact that one day you will have as much money as you want to do what you want, and really being proud of what you've done so far in terms of selling online, making money online, pricing your courses, and I think most importantly, telling yourself, "I deserve this; I am worthy of success, just like the other guy."
So today, we're going to talk about what it looks like to chase your first billion dollars in your business. Now, I don't care if that's like a million dollars over three years or your first million-dollar year—which I've got a club called Millie Club, and everyone in the Millie Club is on track to hit their first million-dollar year, and I'm helping them with the systems and strategies and mindset needed to hit that—but whether it's going to be three years from now or this year, whatever it is, I want to talk about that, and specifically, I want to talk about the four things that I would say to the Amy that was chasing her first million dollars. And in this episode, I'm going to give you the raw truths, the unexpected lessons, and the emotional roller coaster that came with making my first million dollars. So we're going to cut through the noise, and we're going to get more personal, and we're going to talk about the mindset shifts, the money fears, the personal sacrifices, and the lessons I had to learn the hard way. Every lesson I've ever learned seems to be the hard way, and so I do something, and it's like, "Ooh, that burned; I never want to do that again." But if it doesn't burn, if it doesn't hurt, then I haven't learned my lesson. I hate that about my personality, but it's true. And so we're going to talk about it today. And really, this episode is not about me chasing my first million; I think you know it's about you. Whether you want to chase a million dollars or $100,000 or somewhere in between, we've got to talk about it. And why does this topic matter? The journey to a million dollars is rarely what we think it will be. Many budding entrepreneurs think it will change everything to hit your first million, but does it? I'm going to give you a hint: kind of does, kind of doesn't. So we're going to talk about that.
So what are you going to gain by listening to today's episode? Well, a new way to look at your wealth or your future wealth and how to navigate some of those money demons that might be coming up for you, because if you're human, they're going to come up for you. So here we go. So I've got four different things I want to talk to you about. The first one is this: There is nothing wrong with wanting to make a bunch of money. There is nothing wrong with wanting to make a bunch of money. Now, I purposely titled this "Chasing a Million Dollars" because I knew that that word "chasing" would probably bring up some negative feelings, like, who wants to chase anything, right? We want it to come to us; we don't want to chase it. But the fact is that sometimes you are chasing it, and sometimes it just easily flows. Obviously, we all want it to easily flow, but whatever you think of that word "chasing," I want to tell you right now that I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to make a bunch of money.
So real quick, I had a financial advisor when I was first starting out, so this is years and years ago—this is probably 15 years ago—and this financial advisor, he was really religious, and so he had a lot of thoughts and feelings around money based on how he was raised in his religion. But regardless of that, he believed that he never wanted to make over $250,000 because he said it would send him into a different tax bracket and he'd have to pay more money. So he said to me—while I'm sitting there, I think I had just made like my first $200,000 in an affiliate launch—actually, it might have been more than that—but I was explaining to him, "Holy cow, I just did something I never thought I could do; I just made this chunk of money with an affiliate launch," and he's like, "What's an affiliate launch?" He knew nothing about the online space. So I explained it to him, and then he's like, "Whoa, that's crazy; that's incredible," and then he said, "So for me, I never want to make more than $250,000 because I don't want to be in another tax bracket and pay more money in taxes." And I'm pretty sure I was speechless. Like, what? Instantly, in my head—and I was young in business—but I knew, "Oh, I need a new financial advisor, and I need it yesterday because I can't be working with someone who puts a cap on the money that they are going to make because they're fearful of taxes." I couldn't even believe he was my financial advisor. Right then and there, I thought, "Okay, I want to make a lot of money; I want to be a millionaire." I did; I did want that. Not from the get-go, in the beginning, it wasn't really about how much money I was going to make; it was about the freedom. And when I started to feel a little bit of that freedom, I wasn't scared to say, "Well, here's my big goal," and a lot of entrepreneurs, at one point or another, their goal is going to be to have a million-dollar year or hit the million-dollar mark. And so I'm here to say there's nothing wrong with that.
A lot of my students, they believe that they have to have really good, selfless reasons to make money. Of course, the first thing that comes to mind, right, is like, "I'm going to give so much of it to charity," and I, I just wanted to say something, and it totally proves what I mean. I wanted to then follow that up to say, "I give a lot of money to charity; I, I'm very generous; Hobie and I are very generous with our money," but notice the fact that I really wanted to tell you that right now—like, the fact that it's my prerogative how much money I want to make—it's my prerogative how I want to spend it, but I felt really compelled to tell you, "Oh, but don't worry, I'm really good with my money, and I'm very generous." And so that desire to want to make sure that you say, "Well, if I make a lot of money, I'm going to do good, and I'm going to make sure I give it all away"—that is amazing, and I kind of hope most of us want to do that, right? But you don't have to; you can just make the kind of money you want to make because you want to make a lot of money, and you can do whatever you want to do with it. So I feel as though we feel like we have to downplay it and not really own our ambition apologetically. You can own the fact that you want to make money, and then you can decide later what you do with it. But I think this is an important distinction: On your way to a million dollars or more, own that you want to make that money. Because here's what I believe—this is why I think this topic is so important: When you are unapologetic about the fact that you want to make bank—I, I believe you are a more confident leader; I believe you're a better marketer; you're more strategic; you've got your eye on the prize; you're a better decision-maker because you can't make good money if you don't make decisions, and dare I say decisions fairly quickly, and then course correct when you need to. So I believe when you own it—"Hey, I'm on my path to a million dollars"—you become a better decision-maker because you know if you're not making decisions, you're not growing; you're not moving forward; and you've got a goal. When you shrink your money goals, you shrink your business. When you shrink your money goals, you shrink your business. And that's why I think it's so important just to own it. Again, do whatever you want with the money, and I hope you do good, but even if you don't do as good as someone else thinks you should, own it. Know that you want to make money, and you've got reasons for it, and they're your reasons, and then just move forward. So that's my first tip on the way to a million dollars. I struggled with that in the beginning, and but I kind of quickly caught on, like, "Hey, this is my life; my business; I get to do what I want to do, and I get to go after whatever I want to go after," and I think that's an important message. Okay, number two: My biggest fear was losing money, but I wish I had taken bigger risks.
I've told this story before, so if you're an OG, forgive me, but when I was getting out of my partnership many, many years ago, the first thing my business partner said to me when I said, "I want out"—and we owned the business 50/50, but I had created it; I had started it; he came in three years into it and got a 50/50 partnership and didn't put any money into it—that was my mistake. So I went to him, and I—things were kind of going south, and I knew it wasn't a good partnership for me anymore—and I said, "I want out," and the first thing he said was, "This is going to be bad for you." And I said, "Why do you say that?" And he said, "Because how you are with money." And I was so mad at that time; I thought, like, "How dare you? I'm great with money; I save money; I'm careful with money." Little did I know, years later, when I really started to see where some of my mindset blocks were, little did I know that he was totally right because the fact that I was saving all of it and holding on tight to it and worrying about it and looking at my bank account all the time—that's what he meant. But I thought that was like a badge of honor: "I am responsible." I was raised to be a good girl; I was, I was raised to be responsible, respectful, put together all the time, and I really do think that was a hindrance. If I've never had a, a, a daughter, but if I were to have a daughter, I'd raise her differently; I'd raise her to be a little riskier, a little bolder, not hold on to everything so tight, not always be the good girl, maybe make some decisions that don't seem like the good girl decisions, but who knows where it might take you. So when my partner said, "This is going to be bad for you because how you are with money," and I didn't understand at all what he's, what he meant, when I learned later, I thought, "Oh, yeah, this is going to hold me back," because if you're fearful of losing your money, that will hold you back because making bold moves, investing in our businesses, and taking big leaps are necessary for wealth. You know, when someone says, "You've got to spend money to make money," that is so very true. And for years, I was so afraid to spend money, especially on Facebook advertising. So at the time, it was really just Facebook; now it's all paid advertising because there's a lot more options today than there were many, many years ago. But I remember my business partner—he was incredibly smart—and I remember him saying, "If this is working—this ad that we're running, this promo that we're running with ads—if it's working well and we're hitting our goals of, you know, cost per click and all the, the other metrics, throw as much money as you can to it." I was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" He literally said, "Throw as much money as you can to it," and my heart stopped. I'm like, "Whoa, that seems very reckless." That was so incredibly smart of him, but because I was afraid to lose money, I was afraid to spend money, and that absolutely held me back. I would have gotten to my first million-dollar year faster if I wasn't so rigid with my spending. Now, I want to be really clear here: Always be strategic with your spending; always make sure that you're tracking it and you've got benchmarks and you know what you're going for—like, I'm all about strategy when it comes to spending money—but my hope for you when you hear this is: Hold on to it loosely; hold on to your money a little bit more loosely, but still strategically, because I promise you, if you're more willing to spend it, you will make more money. But just be really smart about that—that's the part that's a little caveat to that one—but he was right, and I was holding it too tight. And the minute that I got out of the partnership and realized that he was right, I changed everything about how I looked at money, how I spent money, how I invested in my business, and boom—that's when everything skyrocketed. Remember, I tell the story in my book, *Two Weeks Notice*, that we went from $5 million the last year that we were in business together, 18 months later, to $16 million on my own. And that's because I learned how to look at money and spending and investing in myself in my business differently. That's why I know this one point is so important. Okay, number three: Taking things personally is costing you money.
This is the third lesson I had to learn the hard way, and some days I still do fall into this. I think I'm still learning it, but I'm so much better—so I feel like confident that I could talk to you about it now. Remember, I never share my oozing scabs that are still healing; I share my scars. Because as a leader in the industry I'm in and a mentor to many of my students, if I'm constantly sharing when I'm in it, when I have not learned any lessons, when it's painful, when I'm confused and overwhelmed, I don't think there's any value in that except to say, "Look at me; I go through hard times, too." We know everyone goes through hard times, but if I could just be a little bit removed from it, and now that scab becomes a scar, I can share with you my lessons. And I do believe that I'm in that scar stage now with taking things too personally and making them mean something they don't. Because I believe when you take things personally, it is costing you money. So there have been many times—I was trying to think of just one story where I've kind of spiraled—when I wasn't included in something. The sad thing is, if I look back on the 16 years of growing this business, there have been many instances where I haven't been invited to an event, or some of my girlfriends who are peers in my business are doing something really fun, and I wasn't invited to it, or rejection. I've talked about this before, but when I was marketing my first book—or my only book—um, I'm starting to think of a second book; I'm starting to get that itch; I have an idea for it. So now I'm starting to think maybe I have a second book, but I don't. Okay, so let's not talk about it; makes me nervous. But when I was marketing my book, I had to go to many different really big podcast hosts and ask to be on their show. My least favorite thing about marketing a book is all the favors you ask for. And so I was asking a lot of people, and I ended up being on over 100 podcasts, but you can bet that the podcast hosts that said no—that's all I can think about sometimes. One person was a really good friend of mine; why would she ever not say yes to me? I was deeply hurt; there were tears. I'm embarrassed to tell you that because I do believe that if I—well, I now I know that if I just stop taking it personal and remember that everyone that is making a decision that relates to you, I can promise you the decision they're making has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. Meaning they're making decisions based on what is best, in this case, for their business. They didn't wake up in the morning and say, "That Amy Porterfield, I don't like her at all; I just don't; I don't think—" Maybe one or two, I—but most people didn't wake up and be like, "I can't stand her; I don't like what she teaches; I don't like what she talks about; I would never have her on my show." I really don't think that's how it went down. If anything, it went down: "This isn't a good fit; the topic she talks about, it's not really a good fit for my audience," or "I don't have any room for a guest right now." I know a lot of hosts book up months in advance with their guests, so timing could have been off; they might have been wanting to focus on something different; I don't know—that's the whole thing; I don't know. So instead of agonizing about the fact that they didn't want me, what I wish I did during that time and said, "Oh, well, let's move on to the next one," because I ended up being on 100 podcasts—that's pretty cool. So with that, I just want to encourage you, as you are on your way to your first million, I want you to be very mindful of every time you take something personally and catch it—catch it like that—and say, "Oh, this isn't about me; this is about them. I know nothing about them; I'm moving on; I don't have time to wallow in, 'Oh my gosh, they don't like me.'" We don't have time for that; we've got goals; we're making big money; we're making big moves. Catch yourself taking it personally because I promise you, I've had enough agony with this that it is not worth it, and it holds you back. So I have a blueprint for handling rejection; it's simple, but I wish I had this years and years ago. The first thing is: When it happens—when someone says no, when they pass over you, when you don't get invited—I want you to detach emotion from outcomes; detach emotion from outcomes. Business decisions aren't personal. People are making moves based on their own goals. And I think if you go back to my old podcast episodes, I probably have said one time or another, "Everything feels personal to me." When people say business isn't personal, sometimes I want to argue and say, "Yes, it is; this is my baby; I created this from scratch; this feels very personal to me," and I've probably have said that on the show, but I'm here to say it's a new era because when I look back at that, all I was doing is causing hurt, pain, pain, and stress. It's not worth it. So I want you to adopt this idea that business isn't personal; be a little ruthless; be a little bit like, "Dang, I, I, I'm a badass, and I can figure this out, and I don't need everything to be a yes or a green light for me to keep moving forward." So that's what I really would love for you to think and say in these moments. So detach the emotion from the outcome, and number two: Reframe rejection as redirection; rejection as redirection. If it's not happening right now for you, it's not meant to happen right now. What is meant for you will find you. So in the moment when you get that no, when they pass over you, when something's not working, "It must not be meant for me right now, but I'm going to keep going; what's meant for you will find you." I believe that to my core. And number three: Keep moving forward; don't let a no slow you down. You do not have time for that, or don't you dare let a no mean that you start playing small; we don't have time for that; you've got big goals. So those are just some little tips I want you to think about next time that you're feeling really down on yourself because something happened in business, and you're making it personal. But I think all of those little tips I just gave you, if you want to cut in line, if you want to go, you know, to the front of the line and just learn your lesson quickly and move on, go read the book *Let Them* by Mel Robbins. So I've been reading the book, and essentially, it is a blueprint for how not to take everything personally; that's exactly what the book is about. And so if you need help with this, I've got your guide: the book *Let Them* by Mel Robbins. I think I've recommended it to 100 friends, and the number one person that needs it more than anything is me, so you can bet I'll read it twice.
Okay, we're in the home stretch. The final lesson: What I would tell the Amy that was chasing her first million dollars, this is what I'd say to her: The first million won't change how you feel about yourself. Because I absolutely thought it would, and I remember when—so for me, I hit $950,000 in one year. I think it was—let's see—10, 11; it might have been my third or fourth year in business, and I, I think it was the fourth; I'm not positive; doesn't matter. I just remember I had hit $950,000, and if you do a little girl math and you round up, that was my first million-dollar year. Let's just say it was. It felt like it was. And I remember when I figured that out, I was so excited, and I went to bed that night, and I woke up the next morning, and I remember feeling confused: "Why do I feel the same? Why doesn't it feel like everything has changed?" And then that day, the day after I realized I had hit it, something, uh, really frustrating happened—something silly in my business that I got really frustrated about—and I was so mad that something bad was happening in my business, as if the million-dollar mark meant no more bad things were going to happen; everything was going to be easier, and I was going to be a different woman. I wasn't. Now, let me just say that I do believe hitting your first million dollars—if you play this right—I do believe more opportunities will come your way; more doors will open; you start navigating your business differently, looking at it differently, making different decisions. I do believe—if you play it right—notice I've said that twice—if you play this right, you will feel more confident in your decision-making abilities and your leadership abilities to grow the business. The problem is, so many of us think that money will give us confidence—like, that it's like it's going to give us confidence or security or validation like overnight. The thing is, you could feel that confidence and validation and security with your first $100,000, your first 500k, your first whatever. So my point is: Start working on that confidence and that self-validation and that security now, on your way to your first million, because what happened for me is that that first million didn't give me confidence, validation, and security. I was confused by that; I thought I had done something wrong. And then quickly, I realized, "Well, I want to feel all those things, and I want to navigate my business differently," and I've...
Earned it. Your first million-dollar milestone is so exciting. It really is a big deal. You might be someone who's listening and you're like, "I mean, I don't need to make a million dollars." We're going to talk about that in a moment. But if you want it, I promise you it is a big deal. But start working on building your confidence now. Start validating yourself now. Start finding the security, or maybe stop searching for security so much and make bolder moves. Invest in your business more, even when you don't have a lot of money, even when you take just a little bit and make those bold moves. You are increasing your ability to make better decisions, to be more confident. So that when you hit the million-dollar mark and the opportunities come your way, the doors start to open, you start to want to navigate differently. That will come so naturally; it will already be there for you. Because here's the thing: when you hit that million-dollar mark, I want you to feel as though you deserve every penny. I want you to look back and think, "I worked for this. I made hard decisions for this. I sacrificed for this. This is mine. I deserve this, and I own it." And so, in order to feel all of that and say all of that, the work begins now, my friend. The work begins now.
And why is this important? Why am I bringing up this final lesson? If you don't work on your mindset along the way to your first million, no amount of money will fill the void. And I want you to be able to celebrate when you get there. And so the work begins now. Okay, so to wrap up, I'm going to do a rapid-fire review. So if you're multitasking, come back to me. Number one: Stop apologizing for wanting wealth. The sooner you get comfortable with making and keeping money, the easier business gets. Two: That fear of loss is a business killer. Focus on growth, not protecting what you have, but growth. Hold on to your money a little bit looser, but still strategically. Number three: Rejection isn't personal; it's part of the game, my friend. Next time you get rejected, next time something doesn't go your way, next time someone doesn't invite you, tell yourself, "Oh, I guess I'm playing the game. This is part of the game. It just is." And so if you own it that way, it hurts a whole lot less, and you keep moving forward. And then finally: Money won't fix your self-worth. Do the inner work as you grow so that when you hit any milestone you're going after, you instantly feel as though you deserve it, you've earned it, and you own it. Deal.
All right, before I let you go, here's what I want to do. Number one: Ask yourself this question. I promised you I'd talk about—maybe a million dollars isn't even what you want. This whole episode, you might have been rolling your eyes like, "Amy, that's ridiculous. I don't need that much money." Okay, then what is your "enough"? Such a good question. No one's ever asked me this on my way to building my wealth in my business, and I wish on year one someone had asked me this. And every year you can re-evaluate; every year you can ask this question, because I think it does change. But right now, where you're at, what's enough now? Obviously, revenue and profit are different, right? So I always speak in terms of profit: How much do I want to bring in every year to feel like I'm living the lifestyle I want, that Hobie and I are doing the things that we want? But we are not uh, flashy. We don't go on huge expensive trips. We don't buy tons of expensive cars. We don't really have any of those desires, but we do love a really nice house. So right now, Hobie and I are building our first home. We've never done this before. Um, we're building our first home in a place called Leiper's Fork in Tennessee, near Nashville, and it's on 70 acres. That's a lot. And you probably are like, "What the heck are you going to do with 70 acres?" Ask Hobie. I don't know. This was his idea. Ever since I met that man, all he wanted was property, and so he can't wait to build things on this land and get in there, and and he wants these little mini miniature Highland cows. I don't know; I'm not a country girl, and I can't do farming, so I don't know what we're going to do there. But I do know that I love a beautiful home, and I love the fact that I get to design where the rooms are and what my video studio is going to look like and what my office looks like and how we're going to make it cozy and inviting to people. So that's what I like to spend my money on. I just share that to say, like, to each their own, right? And so when I think about, okay, we've got to build this house, and I'd love to pay cash for it, but that's a lot of cash, so what do I need to do? I'm in a season in my life when I've got something on the radar, so I might re-evaluate, you know, what my goals are here in terms of finances. But but I can promise you that once this house is built, if I make a whole lot less money, I am good. I don't want to chase, chase, chase, which is why I brought up the fact that what is meant for you will find you. I don't want us chasing our first million; I want us attracting our first million. And so part of that attraction is getting clear on what is enough to you. And then let's go after that. Let's not care what I'm doing, what someone else on the web is doing. Let's not care about all the toys they have; that's what they want, and and let them have it. But what do you want? So let's get clear what it is for you, and it might be so far from a million dollars; maybe it's way more, maybe it's way less. It doesn't matter. What's enough for you? Let's make that your goal this year.
And then number two: I want you to identify one area where you are just holding on to it too tight. Is it money? Is it something else in your business? Is it control of everything that happens in your business, and you won't give your team the autonomy to go and do what they do best? We all hold on to something in our business too tightly, and that is holding us back or keeping us small. For many of us, it's going to be money, and if it is, just declare it. Maybe it's something else, but once you identify what it is, I'm telling you right now, it makes a huge difference. I just love to just like put it out there and say this is what it is. And before I send you off, I want to leave you with one final thought. I've said it already, but I really want this to be the last thing you hear from me in this episode, and that is: What is meant for you will find you. So keep your head down, stay focused, stay true to who you are, and let the universe take it from there. [Music]