Transcription
Armageddon, Mad Max, nuclear war. Like, how far are we away from that? And it just, it just gives me anxiety before I go to sleep. I'd just be laying there going, "Fuck." Like, "How does this all resolve?" And then this [ __ ] Israel thing pops off. And now I'm like, legit freaked out.
I've been, uh, definitely buying a lot of stuff lately for my house, the world [ __ ]. Like, I'm getting Tesla solar right now, battery packs so I can live off the grid.
Yeah, that's a good move.
Yeah.
Yeah. Get your house solar. That's a big move. Just [ __ ]. I mean, you know, at a certain point in time, what is it? What's the electricity even getting you other than keeping the lights on? What, what I'm scared of is like all communications are gone. Like, how, how hard would it be to shut down our power grid? How hard would it be to blow a few satellites up and no one knows [ __ ]?
Yeah, that's why that that that Starlink, the, you know, the [clears throat] satellites thing. I'm thinking about getting that even though I have, I have great internet, but yeah, you know, just because. Oh, what if it's? Yeah, it's scary.
Yeah. In the mountains in Utah and they had Starlink and it was great. It works everywhere.
It's really. But people keep thinking it's UFOs.
Oh, yeah.
Like, people keep filming it flying. What is that?
Yeah, that's in the air.
Like I was telling you the other day, I'm sitting at home like wondering about the fate of the world. Are we, are we literally going to be in a [ __ ] mad? Because you don't think anything's going to go bad until it goes bad. You know, you remember the day before 9/11? And it was just [ __ ] normal America. Yay. Yay. And then the next day, chaos. And then everyone's riding around with an American flag on their car. Like anything can happen. And if anything does happen like, how, how ready, what, how much is the world going to change? I mean, like, if you think about any sort of like horrific natural disaster that has hit humanity since the beginning of time, whether it's super volcanoes or earthquakes or any of these chaotic things. When those things happen, when, when the Mongols roll into your town, when, you know, when Nazi Germany starts taking over Europe, like [ __ ] we want to think that that can't happen, but 100% that can happen. And when I [ __ ] when I'm alone at night and I'm a little high, that's the thing that freaks me out the most. The things that freaks me out the most is international conflicts between superpowers and how they're willing to kill a certain amount of people, right? So, like, how, what's a, what's the number where they won't cross that line? Because if you've got groups of people that are willing to shoot missiles into apartment buildings and and and and fly jets down and gun people down and you've seen all those crazy drone, if we're willing to kill a certain amount of people, like, what's the line where they won't cross? What's the line? Is it a million people? Had a nuclear bomb. You know what? What is the line?
There's probably no line.
And when you think about how much people loved America after 9/11, the whole world was like on America's side. And how much we [ __ ] that up in 23 years or 22 years.
[ __ ] that up. [ __ ] that up. A million innocent people die because of the Iraq war. I mean, [ __ ] that. Everybody knows that.
We need a 9/12 immediately. [laughter] Probably are due for one. That's scary when you, this Israel thing, like it scares the [ __ ] out of me.
Yeah.
It scares the [ __ ] out of me because when I see something like that happen, you know, there's like, there's no clear way this resolves peacefully. Like, this is bad. This is real bad. And and Israel is going to go into Palestine and they're already bombing and there's all [sighs] and is there a retaliation for that? And what happens then? And who, what other countries get involved and [ __ ] [ __ ] man. It just really puts into perspective that there's some [ __ ] going on that you're not thinking about because it's not in your life. So, if you're a guy like you or I, let's say us, cuz we're comedians, so we're hanging out at the comedy club, we're doing podcasts. That's our world. Our world is [ __ ] around with people. Our our world is telling jokes. Our world is hanging out with our friends and doing shows. Their world is killing people. Their world is controlling resources. And it's not, they don't play fair. Like, they, they release stories that aren't true. They use disinformation to switch narratives. They have social media posts that aren't real so they can get people riled up about certain things. And then they're also coordinating military attacks. That's their world. We just don't think about that world because we're not in that world. But people have been in that world since the beginning of time. What they've done with us is they've sheltered us in such a way and then censored all the mainstream media in such a way that they completely control the narrative of how you think about what can and cannot happen in the world and why these things are happening. And we're seeing that right now. We're seeing that like in your face where you're like, "What?" And you're also seeing people with massive amounts of conspiracies now, right? And whenever something like that happens, there's always the people that are like, "How did they not know this was going to happen?" Like, isn't this the most sophisticated surveillance systems in the world? This like Israel is the, they're the people that invented Pegasus. That's that [ __ ] that gets on your phone where they can listen to anybody and they have like their, they have that Iron Dome that protects them against missiles. Did you ever see that working?
They were just showing it the other night. It's show videos of the Iron Dome working. It's crazy. So, as Hamas is launching these missiles, they're shooting missiles at the missiles and blowing them up in the sky. It's wild. Look at this.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's old school Missile Command. Remember that video game?
Yeah. I mean, you have to be 100% accurate because any one of these is going to kill a bunch of people. But I mean, just imagine living in Israel and you go outside and you're seeing [snorts] missiles getting hit by bombs. Look at this. It's
insane.
Look at this. They're just jacking them in the sky. But if they miss one, that's a wrap. I mean, how much do, how much do each one of these missiles that they're shooting at these other missiles cost?
Right. That's what, million, million dollars. Million dollars. And how are they getting all the money to shoot those missiles at Israel? Like, all of it is crazy.
Yeah. And someone tweeted, see if this is true, that this happened right after uh Biden, the Biden administration released a bunch of funds to Iran. I think it was like $6 billion.
Really?
And then these people in Hamas are thanking Iran for funding this.
Wow.
But it's you. What's real?
Yeah.
What's real? That sounds.
What's, how much is, how much of this is real?
Yeah. Have you heard this? Air Force successfully tested secret new stealth missile with mock nuke.
A stealth.
Stealth missile [snorts] with a mock nuke. Okay. B-52. America's nuclear weapons are aging and the Pentagon plans to spend more than $600 billion to keep the potentially world-ending weapons in fighting shape. What a great idea.
At the, in this article I saw, it said that they were being controlled by floppy discs up until 2019.
Well, those are accurate. That's [laughter] it is top, top of the food chain.
They're updating tech, but.
Okay, floppy discs in 2019, but some of the old tech is still solid. The LRSO and mock nuke were fired from a B-52, a sturdy and reliable bomber first manufactured in the '50s. The missiles are in fact designed to work with this decades-old bomber. [snorts]
But a mock stealth nuke is crazy.
Yeah.
That's crazy. All of it's crazy. The fact that that's on the table, all of it's crazy. And also the fact that we haven't nuked anybody since 1945. Nobody's nuked anybody.
That's good.
Promising. [laughter]
Right?
It's promising.
We got to celebrate 100 years.
But it, it's hard to amend that it's going to last like that forever.
Seems like someone's going to get crazy.
That's the question. It's like, if you're willing to kill.
The answer to your question.
Each missile is $40,000 to $50,000. According to a researcher at Israel's Institute for National Security Studies. [snorts]
Wow.
Wow.
20 of them is a million bucks.
So, yeah. So, the question is where's, where's this, where are these weapons coming from? And and then there was also questions of whether or not uh weapons that we left in Afghanistan were being used.
Which is that is crazy. Trump was hilarious doing this this uh conversation about that where he was telling him like, why don't we, you know, get the weapons out of there. Why don't we fill them up with gas and drive them over to Pakistan? And there's like, he said that. Find a video is Millie cuz he's hilarious. Trump, Trump literally acts like a comedian.
He is the first kind of has been.
The first thing you asked.
Oh, okay. Okay. The Biden administration informed Congress on Monday that it has taken concrete steps to carry out a prisoner exchange with Iran, issuing a waiver that will give Iran access to $6 billion in Iranian oil revenue that had been blocked by US sanctions, according to a State Department document sent to Congress.
And that was a month ago.
That was a month ago. Yeah. On September 11th.
And then Yi story is the last day say.
Yeah. So they, they gave him a lot of funds.
Yeah. And then this happens.
He needs to do a chargeback.
It's just, we are. Yeah. Call PayPal. [laughter] So he got defrauded.
We're in the middle of a game that we don't, we we're not aware of. Just like we were talking about before. Like, that's the game they play. The game they're playing is war and money. I mean, just the amount of money that's been spent in Ukraine and like, what kind of accounting are you guys doing? Are you guys doing good accounting over there? Like, does everybody know where every [ __ ] dollar went or is it just like, let's go crazy?
Exactly.
Yeah. Were you talking about so much money? Like, you could shuffle it over here, put a little over us. And how, how did you leave weapons to? Don't they, don't we know where all the? I mean, if we have AirTags on on on book, shouldn't they have like little AirTags on them?
Dude, that whole pull out was an unmitigated disaster.
Yeah.
Nobody thinks it was good. Nobody thinks it was good. Nobody thinks it should have been done that way. I mean, Trump was trying to pull out a long time ago and they were they were trying to figure out like, how many troops you have to leave in order to maintain the base and and and get everybody out safe. It is, it's tricky because when they know you're pulling out, but the fact they left tanks and helicopters and [ __ ] like, shut the [ __ ] up.
Yeah, that's ridiculous. It's almost like [sighs] like if you wanted to go full tinfoil hat, if you want to ensure there's going to be more conflict, you leave weapons with the enemy. Awesome weapons. If you want to ensure there's going to be more military action, these these guys are pissed. You were occupying their country for 20 years. You left behind how many billion dollars worth of tanks and [ __ ]. Of course, they're going to use it. And so you tell the military guys like, "Yeah, we're pulling out, but here's the long play." The long play is there's, you know, no chance they're not going to do something with all that stuff. So we'll probably have to go back in and then this time we'll really go back in and we could control the lithium. Like, we can't go now. Like, if we go all in now, like, we got to get them to do something really stupid so then the, we can justify like a complete takeover of the country and annihilation of the the people that are the problem. [snorts]
The people that we left tanks behind. The thing about Afghanistan though is like it's so, it's so difficult to get through, you know, to, we think of it as like a country, but it's mountains. It's like everything is mountains. It's incredible landscape. And there's Greek cities there. There's ancient Greek cities that were abandoned there during the time of Alexander the Great. And no archaeologists are studying them. Like, it's, it's amazing. It's an amazing place. And it also has crazy amounts of resources in terms of like, I think there's a like an insane amount of lithium there. There's all sorts of [ __ ] there that's like really valuable. But everybody tries to take over and they all fail miserably. [clears throat]
It's like one of the ways that they stomped out the Soviet Union was funding the mujahedeen, which later became, you know, Al Qaeda or the Taliban. Was it, was it the mujahedeen they become the Taliban or Al Qaeda?
Either way, like, they f-ed the Russians. Tried to take over forever and then they gave up like, [ __ ] this. [laughter] It's like too much. You can't win over there. There. It's like you can't even go anywhere. Can't get through the mountains. You can't just drive. You can't just drive tanks through.
It's a [ __ ] wild place. An almost unconquerable place.
It would be cool to see if that does eventually come somewhere you could go and enjoy the.
Used to be. People used to go. There's like videos of walking around the streets of Kabul. It used to be a place where people would go and vacation.
Yeah.
Force field. Come on. Force fields.
Dude. [laughter] None of that's.
All goes back to force fields. Yes. If we come to big force field there.
I don't think so.
We leave our force fields behind.
I feel safer living in Austin that we're in the middle of a country just in case of war goes crazy. [laughter] Right now. Uh the the the belief is that and I think we'll know more about this in a few years that a few things happened all at the same time. It was a perfect storm. First, Hamas has been planning this attack for two years and uh one of the leaders of Hamas actually said that they've been strategically lulling Israel to sleep by making it seem like they're no longer interested in a conflict the past two years. And Israel even just a week before the attack allowed more uh Gazans to come over the border and work in Israel as basically a a reward for good behavior. Right? They thought Hamas has gone into this mode where they're more concerned about the economics of the Gaza Strip than about attacking Israel. So Israel was asleep at the wheel. Israel also had transferred a lot of IDF that would normally be at the Gaza border to the West Bank. It was also the Sabbath. It was also a major holiday. It was, it's also they they've had the biggest protests in in a generation. Almost the same way America was during 2020, Israel has been for the past several months over their judicial reform. So you put it all together.
Can you, can you go into that a little bit, please?
Yeah. So basically the judicial reform in Israel, Israel is not like the United States. They don't have a constitution. They don't have this kind of really beautiful genius system of checks and balances that we have where, you know, the president can veto the Congress and the Supreme Court has a check on everyone, right? And everyone keeps each other in check. Israel just has a single parliament. They call the Knesset, a prime minister that has a lot of control over that parliament because he leads the majority coalition. So basically in Israel, the president and their congress have a lot more power than in America. History. The Supreme Court doesn't have the power to say no to them. But over the past 30 years, this court has been basically grabbing more power for for itself under the these things called basic laws where they can now say to the Knesset, no, you cannot uh implement that policy in the West Bank. It violates a human rights. They can, they can be, they have more powers to check the majority party. And that's come to a head now because the Supreme Court is perceived as left-wing and sympathetic to the Palestinians, just like in America right now, the Supreme Court is perceived as right-wing and the uh Benjamin Netanyahu is obviously Lud. He's the right-wing party and he's gone into coalition with these ultra kind of right-wing religious um and and so it's come to a head where basically the right in Israel feels the Supreme Court is just expanding its own power and is anti-democratic and now they want to judicial reform is basically stripping the Supreme Court of the power it's grabbed for itself over the past 30 years. Now the left in Israel views the Supreme Court as the only protection against human rights violations and violations of minority rights. So the left is feels the Supreme Court is a great defender of Israeli human rights. And the right feels that the Supreme Court is an undemocratic institution that's been expanding its own power for 30 years and now needs to be reigned in so that the majority can govern. That's torn apart the country. It, it's absolutely the number one issue, every day protests all over Israel. So you put all this together with Hamas uh backed by Iran and you and you you also throw in the fact that Israel and Saudi Arabia are on the verge of a peace deal, which is huge. It, it would be the biggest news in the Middle East in in a very long time if Israel and Saudi Arabia made peace. It would basically put um kind of the death knell in the coffin for for Hamas because Saudi Arabia is the biggest holdout now in terms of who has not made peace with Israel. So Hamas from the point of view of Hamas and Iran, they think this is a, this is a last chance kind of we have to attack now, kill this deal or uh we're dead forever. And they planned this thing meticulously for for two years, intentionally lulling the Israelis to sleep and um they, they have brilliant success, much more success than they expected to. Now, some people have said it's an inside job. I don't believe it is. I think if it is, we'll know that from reporting um that comes out in the next two years. But at this point, I believe the theory that it was an incredibly successful attack by Hamas and a perfect storm. Well, that all can make sense if that's the case. What's terrifying is it doesn't seem, what's always terrified me about the Middle East is that there doesn't seem to be a clear way to resolve this. I mean, if Saudi Arabia and Iran or or uh rather uh Israel came to some sort of an agreement and made peace and and were able to establish that long term, that'd be a great step in the right direction. But other than that, like when you look at what's happened now, oh my god, the rhetoric from both sides, it's, it's just, didn't we learn anything from World War II? Didn't we learn anything from the Holocaust? Didn't we learn anything from human beings ability to other human beings to just turn them into a thing that's not them? Dehumanize them. And that there's this impulse to do so that existed forever because when we were tribal people that probably barely had a language, you had to be absolutely terrified of marauding male tribes. They came over your border and wanted to kill you and take your resources and steal your women because that's what they did. And so we have this ability to look at other human beings as an other and get ruthless and horrifyingly violent because that was the only way for us to survive for thousands of years. So it's ingrained in our system. But it's, it's now it exists in the context of global war and it, and it exists in a time where you can manipulate media and spread false narratives and governments are allowed to use propaganda. They're allowed to lie to people. It's, if it's for the overall better good of the nation. It's wild. And and that's the root of the issue. The root of the issue is how every human being sort of reluctantly admits that there's almost no way to stop all wars right now. If you, if you had a magic solution to stop all wars in the world, what would it be? It doesn't exist. That's terrifying. Cuz the thing that we are scared of the most is global thermonuclear war. The thing that everybody should be the most terrified of that we get so stupid that we wipe every human being off the face of the planet and we're more than capable of doing it some insane number of times over. And that they're playing with the very first steps of that game. They've moved the first pawn out onto the chessboard of the global thermonuclear war chess game.
That is [ __ ] the world. Everybody, every single nation that's involved in every conflict and all these people controlling resources over a group of gigantic people with they're their representative and they're saying these people are the bad people and they're saying you're the bad people. That's it's just like human beings have always done. It's a like literally a part of our system.
So I agree with you that we are built and hardwired for deep levels of violence. We, we those of us that have been lucky enough to live in safety and security, we may not realize the violence we're capable of because we've never had to survive, right?
But I do believe that there is a difference. You mentioned the lessons of World War II, right? We were capable of violence. Hitler was capable of violence, but we were not the same as Hitler.
Right.
There was an imperative for us to defeat him at almost any cost and we did horrible things in that war. But people understand that there was a good side and there was an evil side.
Yes.
Now I don't know if you or most of your listeners feel this way about Israel, but I do. I think that in this situation, Israel is the good guy and Hamas is the evil guy. I think some people feel Hamas is just um acting like anyone would if you had taken their land and their their freedom fighters that go a little bit overboard. I don't think that's what they are. I think they are a death cult that really believes what they write in their charter in the late '80s that they want to annihilate every single Jew in Israel and replace it with an Islamic state and eventually have a state like ISIS and that what they did on October 7th with the, you know, the barbaric [snorts] slaughter that that's the point for them. That is what they want to do to all of Israel. And the difference is that Israel, uh, though like the American army, it's like there's been many excesses, much to criticize. If Israel wanted to annihilate Hamas and the Palestinians the same way Hamas wanted wants to annihilate Israel, Hamas would be gone and there would be no Palestinians in Gaza. We know that Israel could obliterate them overnight. Why don't they? Well, for mixed reasons, but because they don't want to. They want to live in peace fundamentally. And so, I don't think the two sides are equivalent here, though. They're both capable of that that universal among humans, which is cruelty. I don't think these two sides are the same. I really think this is a situation where there is a good guy and a bad guy. Solution could possibly be created that would somehow or another calm this down at this point after that attack. It's so horrifying, but then the response is horrifying, too, where who knows how many civilians have died in Gaza.
Yeah.
So, we're terrified of both. And then there's this narrative that. What was the thing with the hospital?
Oh, yeah. This has been going on the past 48 hours. Basically, what happened is the entire media, the the Gaza Health Ministry, which is run by Hamas, said that Israel just bombed a hospital and killed 500 people. The entire media ran with this story. New York Times, BBC, everyone said 500 killed in Israeli air strike on hospital. And obviously, this is monstrous if so, right? This is why would Israel bomb a hospital? Israel is known to have at least a policy of not bombing hospitals because Israel feels that it wants to generally respect what a war crime is, right? That's the policy at least. So this this went viral. Uh then it turned out actually most likely it actually turned out percent the hospital wasn't bombed. It was the parking lot next to the hospital. So that was the first inaccuracy in the story. Then it turned out it's very, very unlikely to be an Israeli air strike and was almost certainly not a Hamas rocket, but a Palestinian Islamic Jihad. This is the other Palestinian terror group in Gaza. They launched a bunch of rockets. One of them was a dud and landed in the hospital parking lot. And uh and this is on video. Al Jazeera showed the video by accident. Uh and and that's how it, that's how it's part of how it's been confirmed.
Accident.
So they were they were showing this in real time. I think it happened at like 6:59 exactly. It's either 6:49 or 6:59. They were showing live footage of or or footage they had they had just taken of h of a bunch of rockets leaving the Gaza Strip to go to Israel. And one of the rockets, you could see it was it was screwy. It kind of blew up and then you see a big explosion in Gaza. Right at that time.
Turns out that's the exact time the hospital allegedly blew up. So that's how they knew it was a rocket from inside an accidental rocket from inside Gaza rather than the Israelis air striking it. M. So then all the New York Times, BBC, they all started slowly changing their headlines to from 500 killed in Israeli air strike to 500 killed in blast to, you know, at this point, they may be saying parking lot next to hospital killed only 50 to 100 people. This is still an evolving story and we're talking on on Thursday. So by the time.
It didn't hit the hospital itself. If it hit the parking lot next to the hospital and did damage to the hospital.
Is that it? The hospital's still standing and it was only the parking lot next to the hospital and all a bunch of cars may have exploded as well.
So the latest cuz they have now the next day they took pictures and the hospital's there.
I thought the photos of the hospital that was bombed out.
The New York Times when they reported it first, they showed a picture of a different place in Gaza that was destroyed by an Israeli air strike. Not the hospital.
Oh my god.
Yeah. So, uh, this is now, you know, I think there's an emerging consensus that it was a parking lot, probably not 500 people, probably more like 50 or 100, which is again, tragic. Every life is tragic. But that basically the legacy media took Hamas's word as as fact and then has had to backpedal.