Transcription
All right.
Vic? You work here? Didn't recognize me under those palm fronds, huh? Yep, Gilly and I own this place. Don't we, Gilgil? Your room is down the hall.
Dad, I don't know about this. Vic has pulled shady stuff in the past.
I think you're overthinking it. Alrighty, here's our room. Oh my god. What is that smell?
I've located the source, Father. I believe it used to be scrambled eggs or chicken.
This is so not like the pictures.
More like something out of a horror movie.
Oh, yes, please.
Look, you need quarters to use anything in this room. Blankets, towels, pillows.
The can, too.
I need a quarter, stat. Those gas station burritos went right through me.
Hm. Our time for the lights must have expired.
[crying]
THIS IS TERRIBLE. DADDY, do something.
OKAY, GIVE ME SPRING break vibes. That's right. Vic, we need a different room. Ours is a complete plate dumpster fire.
Sorry you feel that way, but currently you're a level yellow client, which is why you're in the yellow room. Now, I could upgrade you to the purple level where you might be more comfortable, but you'll need to pay more.
THAT'S A CAR PAYMENT, FOR A VERY NICE CAR. NO, thank you. We'll stick with THE YELLOW ROOM.
[laughter]
OH, GILLY, no more fish heads for dinner.
Well, we're going to have to make it work unless we want to hand over the kids' college funds for an upgrade.
I am so sorry.
[gasps]
Oh, now's not the time to say I told you so about the contract, right?
Look, guys, I know this room is disgusting, but there's got to be some stuff we can enjoy, like the pool tomorrow.
Ooh, and the Dreamboat finale is on.
Tonight on the Dreamboat, she has an eye condition, Stan. You can't splash her.
How did Stan respond? We missed it.
Hold on, hold on.
Move over, Daddy. You're not fast ENOUGH WITH THE QUARTERS.
WELL, THAT WAS THE MOST shocking thing we've ever seen on Dreamboat. See you next time.
Oh, boy. I'm afraid to see what the breakfast buffet looks like.
See, there are stuff we can enjoy.
Out of the way, stinking. I'm about to go TO WORK HERE.
UH-UH-UH, this is our red level buffet. The yellow level buffet is over there.
There's nothing here but canned tuna.
Oh, and don't forget there's a fee to use the can opener.
Wow, this looks promising.
Cannonball!
Uh-uh, yellow level customers can only stick their feet in the water. If you want to put your body in, you have to pay a fee.
What spa treatments are available for yellow level?
I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.
I KNOW VIX IS A SCAMMER, but how bad could a free boat ride be?
Very bad, AS IT TURNS OUT.
[screaming]
ALL RIGHT, VIC. That's the last straw. This entire weekend's been one big scam. I demand a refund.
No can do. You should have read the contract. It clearly states, "No refunds."
D'oh!
I am so sorry. I tried to get our money back, but I couldn't.
[laughter]
I failed you AS A FATHER.
PIGEONS!
MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST GO HOME.
Hang on a second. We're going to let Vic get away with this?
What other choice do we have?
Maybe we can turn the tables on him. What if we expose him to the world? We could get Katherine Mulligan to do an undercover piece.
That's not a bad idea, Lincoln.
This is Katherine Mulligan making undercover look good. Hello, I'm Katie Mulligan checking in. Psst. Try jumping in the pool and see what happens. It's unbelievable. This is Katherine Mulligan saying, "You got it." This is Katherine Mulligan MAKING A SPLASH.
HERE'S A COMPLIMENTARY heated towel. Enjoy your swim.
Huh!
Wait till you see the food they serve.
Huh? Ooh, a dessert bar? Yes, please.
What the heck? WHERE'S THE TUNA?
AS FOR THE YELLOW LEVEL MASSAGE, then you'll have your headline.
This is Katherine Mulligan with a big story. Vic McGillicutty's resort is the absolute best I've ever stayed at. Make sure to try a Gilly's massage. Oh, it's one-of-a-kind.
They're running hot tonight, FOLKS. THE MEAT MOUNTAIN AND THE HUNGRY HUNGRY HERBIVORE ARE LOCKED IN A TIGHT MATCH. OOH, THE Meat Mountain has the Herbivore IN THE CLASSIC FIVE-FINGERED HAND CRUNCH.
CRUSHING BONES! MAN, I LOVE SITTING RINGSIDE. You can like almost taste the sweat. And I'm going to go get new nachos. Nacho?
Wait a minute. WHAT'S THE MEAT MOUNTAIN DOING NOW?
WHO WANTS A PIECE of me? Oh, an arena full of chickens, huh?
No one calls me a chicken, you turkey.
Hey, kid. I don't want you to get hurt. Why don't YOU SCRAP?
[screaming] [groaning]
MEAT MOUNTAIN? MORE like a meat loaf. Chump.
[cheering]
OH, THE MEAT MOUNTAIN HAS BEEN REDUCED TO RUBBLE IN AN AVALANCHE OF PAIN.
HEY, KID. What up? I'm dying to ask. How in the world did you ever pick up the mountain?
Ha. The three C's of power lifting, baby. Confidence, calves, and quads.
Uh quad starts WITH A
WOOHOO! WHATEVER YOU WANT IT TO START WITH. I'm Bella Big Bucks, the top promoter for Motor City Wrestling.
Lynn Loud.
Look, we both know pro wrestling is staged, but your athleticism and strength would be big-time assets in my ring. How would you like to be my next star wrestler?
For real? That would be amazing!
Great. Let's talk about your character. Who does Lynn Loud want to be in the ring?
Hmm. Let's see what we've got to work with. Okay, a lot of smells. But not a lot of variety.
Couldn't help it over here you talking fashion. Cuz I can help. No offense Lenny, but we're not putting together prom outfits. This is wrestling.
Um, I love wrestling. Did you guys watch that Rage in a Cage tag team match last week where one of the Python Boys turned on his own partner by putting him in a cold-blooded clutch? I just get so into the story lines. It's like a big sweaty soap opera. Makeover time. What do you think?
Too spiky.
Not going to happen. No way. Who wears this?
Look guys, this isn't working. None of these feel, I don't know, authentic.
Hmm, maybe we need to dig a little deeper. Like my fave wrestler, Pixie Cuts, used to be an actual hair stylist. Her character feels super authentic.
Yeah, what is Lynn Loud really passionate about?
Huh. Oh, wait. I've got it.
You've met Lynn Loud, hall monitor. Now meet the Brawl Monitor.
Oh, yeah. The Brawl Monitor. It's hip. It's fresh. I love it.
Okay, kid. Now I see the Brawl Monitor as a hero type. So, I'm going to put you up against a bunch of baddies. You'll whoop them good and the fans will love it. You ready to become a star?
Let's rumble. Huh.
One whole path to Loserville.
And it looks like Creeps the Clown won't be haunting anyone's dreams tonight.
One whole path to Loserville.