Transcription
The last time you saw your parents, did you know it was going to be the last time? No, no, I didn't. Didn't know anything. When they took me away from my mother, I never knew I'll never see her. But I found out next day that they took them all to the crematorium. When they burned them, and I still think about it, how my mother matched her children and died. It doesn't leave me.
How often do you think about it? Very often. At night, when I go to sleep.
What do you believe is the most important thing for the world to learn from your story? That it shouldn't happen again. There shouldn't be anti-semitism, and people should get along. All nationalities should get along. Everybody is a human being.
Welcome to SBSK. Join me as I travel around the world and interview individuals living with a condition to prove no matter how you communicate or what obstacles you face, you're always deserving of love and acceptance. So without hesitation, let's meet today's friend.
If you had to introduce yourself to the world, what would you say? I don't understand what you ask. If you had to introduce yourself to the world, what would you say? Okay, I'm better fight, but I was born in Romania to a religious family.
How long did it take after liberation for you to feel happiness again? I never could feel as happy as people are. I can never laugh like people do. The bad thing started for me in 1938, before even the war broke up. Because in Romania, we had the government was very anti-Jewish. And when I went to school, the principal used to hit us while we waited online to go into the class. And I had a good teacher, she didn't let us go out to recess because we were always attacked. And I see teenagers how they are happy and they laugh. I can never do that.
Why not? Because my whole life as a teen was very bad. I was able to go to school for two more years, until 1942, then Jewish children couldn't go to school.
How old were you? I was about 12. I was very, very hurt when I couldn't go to school. I used to watch through the gate children going to school, and I couldn't go. I was a very good student and I loved school, but I couldn't.
So who are these two people? They're great. Who are they? Who are we? [Laughter] They're my children. I'm Renee, and I'm Sheldon. And after a month, on May 22nd, 1944, they put us in cattle cars. We were all together in a corner in that cattle car, and we traveled for four days. And we got to Auschwitz-Birkenau. It was evening, and it was dark. And a prisoner came up to the cattle car and once told me that I should say I'm 16. And I was holding my little sister, who was five. And we came down, and they took her away from me and gave it to my mother. And they took me away, and I've never seen my parents again.
Do you still have faith in humanity? No. I think they do terrible things. They're capable of doing terrible things to other human beings for no reason at all. And when he came along, he was a very good baby, very good. He smiled when I came in, and I enjoyed him more enormously. I noticed when you described your son, you have a big smile on your face. Yeah. Why is that? Because I'm very proud of him.
And there were fires burning, so we thought they'll take us alive to be burned. So a lot of people got very hysterical. I asked the German to please shoot me first. Next morning, we were marched into the sea lager, and you see the dead bodies that they shot the night before, still on the street. Of course, I was very unhappy, and I was crying for my parents. And one day, a couple from the block grabbed me by my neck, pulled me out, and said, "If I won't take care of myself and stop all that crying, I'll wind up in the chimney just like my mother and father."
While you were experiencing what you went through during the war, would you have believed that one day you would be sitting in New York City with your grandson? No, I couldn't visualize that. Never, never.
So what is it like to actually be here? Terrific. After a few weeks, I found out my older sister, that I didn't grow up with together, was in Block Seven. So I joined her there. I was always sort of taking care of people in the camp. When I was able to get some extra soup, which I told you, I used to bring to my sister and my cousin and a girlfriend in another block and another place. I used to bring it. I was very proud of her. That's. I remember she was in first grade, and they had a sale, and she needed money to buy stuff. So I gave her a dollar. And she, for that dollar, she bought everybody something, but the whole family. I was so proud of her that she thought to buy for everybody.
Next morning, I volunteered to go bring the soup from the kitchen, but I noticed a lot of bodies on the wires, and the whole tail agar was empty. They took that night to the crematorium 10,000 people. And then we went for a selection near the crematorium. We were standing there for a few hours, and then we went for selection. Mengele was selecting us.
With everything you've been through, have you ever lost your faith in God? I have a lot of arguments with him. I used to speak to him all the time, and I asked him, "Why? Why is he punishing us so much?"
Did you ever find an answer? No. No. But they selected you. They looked, you should be strong to work. So some people, they didn't think strong enough to work, they didn't take them. And at the end, they selected you. You had to pass a room nude. If you had any pimples or something, they didn't take you. You had to have a clean body, and you have to appear to them strong enough to work. And I was lucky. I was able to pass. And they lifted me up when I got into that room, that I was able to pass because I was young, skinny. And they gave us clothes there. They put us on in cattle cars, and we went to Germany.
I think it's important to have religion because when you drown, you hold on to a straw. You never lose grip in that straw. No, I never lost the straw. But in April 26th, 1945, we were liberated. The Americans came. Just a truck or a jeep with a few Americans, and there was a chaplain, and he said the prayers with us. And we were there for about a few days. I wanted to go back home to see maybe somebody's alive. I couldn't imagine not having anybody left. And there I found my brother, one of my brothers. So we were very happy. I had a sister, and I had a brother.
If you had to describe your grandmom to the world, what would you say? I would say very determined, very loving, um, obviously very strong.
How do you feel as you hold your grandson's hand? It feels good. It's great. By that time, President Truman passed a law that he is allowing 200,000 displaced persons into the United States. And I registered with my sister, and in 1949, we were able to come to the United States. I think being able to come to America and build the life, and the life that you did with your children and grandchildren, is very inspiring.
During that time, I went to find a job. On the same block, there was a place where they made little boy's coats. And I went upstairs, and I asked him for a job. He says, "Do you know how to sew on an electric machine?" I said, "I don't, but you're a nice gentleman, are you going to teach me?" And he did. He taught me, and I earned $35 a week, and I felt very rich.
When it was post-war and you started your own family, did memories of your experiences still haunt you? Yeah. It was terrible for me that I didn't have my mother. There were many times I wished I was dead because it was very hard for me. I felt very much alone growing up. I felt as if she had been through so much already, had so much pain in her life. I didn't want to contribute to that. So I did whatever I could not to, I don't know, rock the boat or, um, [Music] make her angry. What I wanted you to do, I, I gotta know that she spoke up, not to spoke up. I was speaking out of turn, or I was something, something, something. Not that I said, "Hallelujah, that's great." Because I wanted her to be outgoing and participating. I tried. She did. She encouraged me. I was just, I was scared. I was, I was scared.
Are you able to trust people? Yes, but I only affiliate with people that are trustworthy. If I don't trust people, I, I'm not in contact with them.
When you see this photograph of your wedding, what do you think? I recall how happy I was. I love to watch it. In 1951, I met my husband.
What did you think the first time you saw him? He was tall and handsome. In 1953, I got, we got married, and we had three beautiful children, and I was very happy. When I went to my apartment, it was on the fifth floor, but it was still my apartment, and it was great.
Did he propose to you? Year? No, I told him it's time he married me.
What did he say? He said, "Yes." See, we always had our own home in Europe. So to me, it was very important to have my own place.
How would you describe the lasting psychological effect going through the war has had on you? I was depressed all the time. I had terrible nightmares. I used to scream. We had a detective, he came out once with a gun because I was screaming so loud. I lost my voice because I was afraid they were chasing me. I guess my consciousness absorbed it. Even when I was little, so basically, as it happened, it was basically business as usual. So I accepted it and waited for it. Every night, and I knew it was, it wouldn't be late. It was not something that happened at three in the morning. There were some nights I remember where the outburst was so big. I remember she like knocked her lamp off, you know, over a night table. It would be so big. If it crashed to the floor, you'd hear a lot of noise. I dreamt that I was in camp.
How long did those dreams last? For years. For years. I got the impression that somebody was chasing her. She was in imminent danger. So she would yell out, "Help me, help me," or "Save me."
While she was sleeping? While she was sleeping, yes, yes. So we can only imagine how she's reliving these terrible scenarios from her camp days when she was in the camp and throughout, throughout the war. I had a nice. I'd hear my father calming her down. Um, but what do you say to you? "It's okay. It's okay." Yeah. He was always good. Whenever I felt threatened about something, he helped me, made it okay.
Would he say anything to you? He didn't have to say anything. He just said, "It's okay." Made me feel very good. I miss that mostly about him. I miss that a lot.
Do you still believe there's good in the world? Yeah. There are some good people there. There are people who help other people. Not everybody's bad, you know. I went back to Auschwitz in 1987. My husband took me back to Poland, and we went to Auschwitz. After that, I didn't have as many nightmares. It was like I said goodbye.
Throughout your life, were you still able to experience moments of joy? Sure. When my kids, my kids got married, when they graduated medical school, I was very happy. And I'm happy if my children are happy. I'm happy. Many times I think I should have had one more, if I would have known they turned out so good. [Laughter] I love being with them, and I'm very proud of what they are, how they behave. Event the best for them. I'm proud of her because she does persevere and she pushes through whatever she has to push through. It wasn't always easy. She did. She did have, you know, her times when she felt down, depressed, and in spite of that, she was able to make a wonderful life for herself, raise three wonderful children, um, and be married to the same man for how many years? 64 years to the same man.
You need to hold on to something. What are you holding on to today? I'm grateful to him for all the good stuff. I thank him every Friday night for all the good things. I always think it's gonna be better.
Did it get better? Sometimes. Most of the times. Thanks for watching. If you appreciate what we're doing and want to see SBSK grow, make sure to like, comment, and subscribe. This will help us reach even more people and make the world a better place. Thank you.
What is it like to have experienced everything you have and be alive to tell the story in the year 2018? Unusual. I never thought I'd live that long.
Are you grateful you have? Yes, and I'm very lucky.