Transcription
We're settling with you. I have girlfriends in marriages right now who have settled with the nice, safe, secure guy we weren't all that attracted to. We didn't really want that much. We didn't have any chemistry with, we had meh sex with cuz we had to because the guy we actually felt passion and chemistry for doesn't want us.
To us, it's like, well, damn. If you're putting up with it, okay, cool. If you're still here, cool. When you want to go, that's fine. But in the meantime, I got no one else. You're here to give it. Cool. I accept. But my god, I see how pathetic you are, and I will definitely use that to my advantage. He'd leave you in a heartbeat if someone better came along.
She speaks with so much contempt for the man who allows himself to be taken advantage of and used. I think that we've gotten so used to women calling like nice men like dedic that we've kind of just become numbed to how toxic that femininity is. We forget how strange it is that women are like, "Oh, he's such a nice guy. Of course women find him disgusting. He lacks masculinity. Of course he's worthy of contempt."
But why should a woman feel disgust? Like think of all the other possible reactions she could have had. If she sees a nice guy with an undeveloped masculinity, she could approach him with friendship. They could have a platonic connection. Yeah, I don't find him sexually desirable, but I appreciate him as a person. I'm friends with him.
Or maybe she feels protective, like, ah, this guy is not fully developed yet, but it kind of brings out like a motherly energy in me. I want to support him. I want to build him up, help him become someone great. I don't want to see the world hurt him.
Or she could just respond with plain old compassion. You know, that emotion that women are supposedly famous for. He's a nice guy. I don't find him very attractive, but I feel bad for him. I I hope the best for him, and I admire his effort. You know, just some basic empathy. All three of those responsibles would make sense. Like, they're logical ways to respond to a man that you might not feel attracted to, but you otherwise like and admire him.
And for some women, that is how they respond. But for many others, their gut reaction when they see like a nice guy is to feel disgusted by him as though his niceness or the weakness of his masculinity is somehow a personal attack and she feels offended by him. Why of all the reactions do women feel disgust?
Well, to understand that you need to understand the way that women think. You need to understand the feminine psychology. Lots of women want to feel disgusted by men because it helps them maintain dominance over them. Because women themselves have weak boundaries and so they need to rely on their emotions. And also because the feeling of disgust guarantees that she's not going to ever have to be reciprocal in a relationship.
To think of female emotions as just random or chaotic is to underplay their significance in the female psyche. The emotion of disgust serves a very tangible, practical purpose. She leans into it because feeling disgust for men helps her. She wants to feel disgusted. I'm going to explain these three in detail.
But for you guys who already know that women find nice guys disgusting, and you're ready to change, you already know that it's not enough to just swing to the other side of the pendulum and just start being rude and unpleasant to women. Women aren't attracted to that either because it's just a reaction. Peak masculinity is self-referential and independent. It's self-amusing. It communicates status in a way that's not seeking approval. That's what women find attractive.
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Okay, back to the video and the psychology of women. Why do they find nice guys disgusting? Let's start with women's use of disgust as a method to maintain dominance. Understand that the feeling of contempt or disgust is not neutral. It is the psychological act of looking down on someone. If she feels disgusted by a man, then holding that position makes her feel superior. It gives her an ego boost like she occupies the higher position in the hierarchy.
She could try and connect with that individual, but for her, that feeling of superiority is more important than empathizing with him as a human being. And that's what contempt does. It's an emotional response designed to undercut that person's legitimacy of being seen as a human. When you feel disgust, you don't recognize the humanity in the other person. No, you just use them as a prop to make you feel better about yourself. So, you see why women enjoy feeling disgusted by these nice men. It gives them someone to look down on.
Women also feel disgusted by nice men because they have weak boundaries. She meets a nice guy and yeah, he's a bit weak. He might lack some masculinity, but what's the big deal? You don't have to date him. You don't have to marry him. He's not a threat to you. You can be kind. You can be friendly to him. Just maintain some boundaries. You're a fellow human. And of course, I'll treat you with some warmth and dignity. But my boundary is that I'm not available for dating.
But this comes from a woman who has a strong sense of herself and she knows what her boundaries are. She's not worried that her being nice to a man means that she's going to get suckered into marrying him. But for a woman who has weak boundaries and a very poor sense of self, she doesn't trust her own decision-making. She doesn't have her values and her priorities clearly laid out. And so she comes to overly rely on her emotions to help her navigate through life.
She welcomes the feeling of disgust when she meets a nice guy because that emotion is protecting her in a sense. Like, oh, I'm in no danger of being suckered in by this guy if he is disgusting to me. But it's really embarrassing that there are women who would have to rely on that emotion just to maintain some boundaries because disgust is an incredibly strong sensation. It means that you're living very close to survival. Like it's a strong bodily reaction. You feel it viscerally inside yourself and you're generating that emotion inside yourself just by meeting a nice guy.
Reducing him in status from human to potential contaminant like, "Oh gosh, stay away. No, I I I don't want to get infected by you." It's incredibly dehumanizing and lots of men will take it personally like there's something wrong with them. No. If you're a nice guy and she's treating you with disgust, that says everything about her.
And the last reason that women will feel disgust is because they want to avoid reciprocity. This one is so difficult for men to understand because it's really just this giant chasm between the male psyche and the female psyche. We just experience and see the world so differently in this regard because men are wired to build and create and protect. That's what feels natural to masculinity. But you've got to realize that women are not experiencing the world the same way.
What feels natural to a woman is to receive. When she receives your resources, receives your protection, then she's at peace. She's like, "Yes, this is how it should be." It's why they're attracted to strong, competent men because he has so much to offer her that she can consume. But do you see why the nice guy is a threat to her? Because he wants something in return.
If she can tell that what he's seeking in a relationship with her is approval or validation or support of some kind, then it sends off those warning signals like, "Oh, no. This is not a relationship where I'll just be receiving. I will be expected to give something back in return. I don't want some man reliant upon me." There are many modern women who genuinely feel that they shouldn't give men anything. That's not their job. That's not their role. They are a queen. They're just meant to be given things.
And so that fear of reciprocity is what generates this feeling of disgust as a sort of protection against that because you're never going to feel pressured to be reciprocal with something that generates disgust because that thing is just so lowly and terrible. And do you want to know the most fascinating part of all of this? It's so dark. Honestly, you'd think feeling so much contempt, feeling all of this disgust that women would just avoid these nice guys. like, "Oh, no. Keep them away from me." But that's not the case.
Do you remember the Tik Tok of the woman at the start of this video saying that she has many of her girlfriends who married these guys, who tolerate him, and they have sex with them because they need to. It's so difficult for men to understand this. Like, women will meet a nice guy and feel contempt, feel disgusted by him, and yet still go on dates with him, still get into a relationship with him.
So, for the guys who you like the least amount, where would you want them to take you? Like a five-star steakhouse. And the guys you like the most, where would you go with them? I would probably expect less just because I like them. But why make the man that you like the least amount invest more upfront than the guys who you're more attracted to? Because he's got to work for it. Since I like him the least amount, he's got to work for it. At least I'm giving him a chance. You're the prize in a relationship. Duh. Exactly. Exactly. Why wouldn't we be?
Do you sense any shame, guilt, remorse? Because I don't. I just see like women explaining this as though it's the most obvious natural thing in the world. Like, why are you being weird by even asking such obvious questions? But men don't think like this. We don't understand this. As a man, if you ever felt disgusted by a woman, would you go on a date with her? Would you marry her? Would you ever even consider it? No. Right? Like, it makes no sense. Why would I date somebody who disgusts me? That would be the most illogical thing in the world.
And yeah, from the male point of view, that makes sense. That's rational. But yet, women do it. Women date and marry men who disgust them. Why? What is different in the female psyche that allows them to do that? What is it inside their mind that says, "Oh, yeah, of course I have contempt for my boyfriend, but I'm not going to break up with him."
I've isolated three different explanations for why women will date men that they feel disgust for. Why any woman would marry one of these nice guys that she clearly has contempt for. The first explanation is that he is just a placeholder. And you saw this explicitly mentioned by the woman in the first Tik Tok clip. You know, she's happy to stay in the relationship until somebody better comes along.
And from a social and legal perspective, there's really nothing that is disincentivizing her from getting married to one of these guys and just waiting for a better option to come along because I mean the divorce laws are so heavily skewed towards women. Like what is there really for her to lose? Oh, we break up and I get 50% of your money and 90% of your kids. Okay, she's not risking much. Like, there's really no downside.
Like, if she's homeless and some guy comes along saying, "Hey, do you want to enter a relationship with me? I've got this three-bedroom place." In her mind, she might be thinking, "Well, ultimately, I want a six-bedroom mansion, but I don't have that right now. So, until that guy comes along, if you're offering a place for me to crash, sure, I'll stay there until there's a better offer."
It reveals an inherent laziness which is the second reason I want to discuss because in a relationship where you have contempt for the other person there's no need for any kind of reciprocity because that kind of mutual exchange of values that's only necessary if you see each other as equals. But if she sees herself as superior and he's just someone who is totally beneath her, someone who warrants contempt and disgust, then she doesn't need to give him anything.
The relationship can and will be completely one-sided. She can blame him for everything. She can vent to him, use him for resources, use him as an emotional sponge. Just take take take from him. And she can do so guilt-free with no obligation to return the favor. Do you see how attractive this is going to be to a woman who is lazy, who really doesn't want to have to earn her affection in a relationship? Doesn't really want to have to prove anything or give anything back. She just wants to receive.
It's preferable for her to date somebody who she feels disgust and contempt for because then it's completely natural for her to just receive. She doesn't want to date some high value guy who she admires and respects. No, that's way too much pressure. It's better to be the one who is always in control, which is the third reason.
For a very immature and undeveloped femininity, feeling safe in a relationship means being in control at all times. Her emotional safety is gained by her being in charge. She's not looking for a man who she's really attracted to, who's kind of mysterious or dangerous or exciting in some way because that brings a lot of risk with it. She has to earn his love. he could always leave her when he discovers that she's really not that great.
No, she doesn't want that. She specifically wants a weak man because if she can create the dynamic where he knows that he is beneath her, then she can have this experience of being worshipped, admired, and catered to. She's like intoxicated by her own power. And her immature idea of love and connection is simply a relationship where she's never challenged.
You see this a lot with women who are carrying a lot of emotional baggage and trauma and they don't want to, you know, do the healthy thing by going to therapy. No, they just want to vent their emotions at somebody. And so they'll throw things, they'll insult him, they'll blame him for everything. They want to indulge their very worst instincts inside a relationship where they can feel confident that he's not going to leave her.
Any relationship built on a foundation of equality is going to endanger that. She doesn't want that. She wants to be on top. She wants him under her thumb. The mind of a woman can truly be a fascinating thing to examine. Realizing that many women are entering into relationships with men that they explicitly do not respect. And of course, without respect, there can be no love. But that was never the goal. They weren't entering into a marriage with the expectation that they were going to love their partner. That wasn't the point.
She wants to feel safe and she can only feel safe dating a man that she feels disgusted by, a man that she has contempt for. And isn't that interesting? But enough of female psychology. Let's talk about male psychology. Because why don't men pick up on this? Like some of you guys listening to this right now, you're thinking, "This completely describes my ex-wife or my ex-girlfriend. She had contempt for me. She treated me really badly. And yet, I didn't pick up on it. I didn't realize that something was a miss. Why not? What was going on inside your brain that made you completely miss that this dynamic is messed up? It's completely unhealthy and toxic. Why didn't you see it? And after you did see it, why did you tolerate it? What was going on inside your mind?
That's what I'm going to talk about for the rest of this video. If you want to keep watching, please come and join me on Patreon. What I post here on YouTube, these are usually the parts where I analyze like the female psyche. But if you want to go into more depth and really look at this information from a self-improvement point of view, you're going to want to understand your own mind just as much. And that's what I'm going to cover in Patreon. If you watch this video all the way to the end, that means that you like my content. You're going to like the extended versions on Patreon. I recommend you come over and give it a