Transcription
I've had clients where they get angry and I say, "Okay, you're avoiding sadness." They say, "I can't tolerate sadness." I say, "Okay, we'll do it for five minutes. So, let's talk about what would you be sad about if you were sad."
This is one of the main emotions that's avoided in borderline personality disorder. In my experience, there's a big difference between struggle to do something and inability to do something. It's actually the inability to tolerate sadness without help.
I've done an enormous amount of case consultation with therapists treating individuals with borderline personality disorder. And one of the main problems in many therapist treatment is that they don't realize that much of the problematic behavior is avoidance behavior. And the what they're avoiding is sadness itself.
The average borderline patient believes if I ever experience sadness, I'll fall into the abyss and I will never get out. And the facts of the matter are that's mostly true. They can't get out. Which is why you have to get them to experience it when they're with you, the therapist, because then I can help them get out of it.