Transcription
Hey everybody, good to see you. Give you a second here to join me. I didn't plan this caller very well.
So, we're continuing our twinflames karmic relationship soul tie series today and I wanted to talk about obsession, aggression, and how it makes it really clear what we've got if this is present in a relationship. A lot of us that have Pluto in our charts or Scorpio, eighth house things, some some things that um gear us towards a search for intensity. We can struggle with understanding the difference between obsession and love. And we can we can mistake obsession for something more substantial. And with obsession, we can often experience aggression. We can experience the dark side of ourselves or somebody else. That does not run things or even come out in a destructive way.
In a relationship that is good for both people, that's healthy, particularly that is established in compassionate non-attachment, you're not going to have these instances where we encounter somebody's dark side or somebody else encounters ours and it's called love. Or we tell ourselves it's in the name of love, whether we're sending or receiving it.
So as we go [clears throat] through the process of karma clearing and as we let go of our traumas and we heal, we can understand better what is an overture, an expression of love. And what's an expression or an overture of fear, disdain, contempt. Because fear, disdain, contempt, disrespect, that is going to be woven into an obsession that brings out aggression. And come on up. Just come on up. Come on up.
So whether we are the one who is acting out of fear or misplaced control or the one receiving that, it's meant to triangulate something. It's meant to get something. And if we're in a relationship where we are receiving that very, very often, at least on a subtle level, out of self-defense, at least we are typically engaging in that because it's really, really hard to be in a manipulative or difficult relationship, a karmic relationship, if we aren't also engaging in those tactics. And in the beginning, if we're the one receiving obsession aggression, we can get into things um or start the relationship relatively clear or uh, you know, as as we are almost a um, you know, we get into it a little bit naively. But over the course of time, in order to keep our head above water or in order to be able to survive, we will start to engage in plutonic patterns. We can ourselves become manipulative. We can start to hide ourselves. We can become unavailable in in service to survival.
So if you aren't going there, if you aren't going to do those things, if you if you aren't going to do what you have to do in order to survive in the relationship or keep your head above water, that relationship is not going to last. If you are um responding in a healthy way, it it's not going to go anywhere because the person that you're dealing with is not prepared to give back that kind of energy. Or that kind of focus or maturity. So if we want to stay in those relationships with someone who's not prepared to engage with us in a better way, we end up being pulled down, condescending to stay in that situation. And if you find that's the case, if that's what you're doing, then that is not a positive place to be. It's not bringing out the best in you. And we can often have to cut ourselves off from the best of us or compartmentalize that. Sometimes even hide it and not bring that into the relationship. If we're in a situation where we have to use tools or tactics or sides of ourselves that are not the healthiest, most high vibe, best sides.
So if someone is engaging with us in a way where their love or their expression of love comes out as threatening, as anger, as control, as intimidating, jealousy, we have to look at um, is this love or is this fear? Because love does not scare us. Love comes with safety. It comes with security. It comes with respect. It comes with regularity. You can count on it. Real love does not put you into anxiousness. You're not on edge because you have proof. You have trust that the next thing, the next step, the next interaction based on what you've already seen consistently, that next thing is going to be good. And so we expect warmth. We expect security.
When we're in a relationship where there's obsession, aggression, when someone is doing things that are not in our best interest and calling it love, we can come to fear the next moment, the next step, the next word, the next interaction because we are on edge. We're in anxiousness. We're not allowed to relax. Aggression. Obsession. Obsession. Aggression. Um, it can come in forms that are very indirect, covert, like you're finding somebody a picture, say, say you're with somebody in a relationship, you find a picture of them with somebody else with maybe with a former partner and obsession aggression. We may do something such as you take that picture and cut it up in front of the person and you know, make a face and throw it away. We don't even have to have a conversation or a confrontation when we're in relationships. And our expression of love is frequently, if not most of the time, threatening. We're telling the other person or or somebody's telling us with their treatment of us what will happen or what consequences will be or there's they're communicating what's going to happen if they don't get what it is the kind of response or the kind of love or the attachment or the consistency that they want from us. And so aggressive body language, aggressive language, aggressive acting out, even if it's indirect, the direct indirect. The person who is doing that is always convinced that it's in the name of love. It's in the name of passion. It's in the name of proving look how much I care and need and love. But they are that is a person who is not in control of themselves. That is a person that is putting their security needs completely outside of themselves and hanging that on the object of their affection. And that's why the object of their affection has to be what they want it to be. It it can't color outside the lines. It can't have its own mind or goals or life or trajectory because that introduces all of this fear.
So real love is allowing. It does not penalize you for being yourself. It doesn't treat you aggressively when it does not when that person does not get the response or the outcome that they want. So if there's obsession aggression in a relationship, it's either you who is the perpetrator of this or the one who's receiving it that is dealing with someone who's misunderstanding who is responsible for their emotional regulation and their feelings and their experience in the world. So, you have to look at how it makes you feel. If someone is treating you with obsession, aggression, even if you're trained to think and see that that is an expression of love, perhaps you came from a manipulative or violent or difficult plutonic environment. Even if something looks right to you because you've seen it before, how does it make you feel?
If it makes us feel wanted, that's one thing that that could be found both with uh real love and with plutonic love, with being experiencing some aggression, obsession. It that can make us feel wanted. It can make us feel seen. It can make us feel like we are important or that we are critical to someone. But that in itself isn't love. That can be a part of love if we've got that and other good things too. Respect, appreciation. Um, we really see somebody and are seeing depth, admiration. But if we're only feeling seen or noticed or focused on and along with that we're experiencing shame, fear, trepidation, nervousness. Something's going on here, man. It's not love. Love is relaxing. It's regular. It provides space and safety for communion. It's not disruptive.
So with obsession can so much of the time come disrespect, aggressive behavior that if you don't recognize it for what it is can seem like proof of love. But you've got to pay attention to how it makes you feel outside of your ego. [snorts]
And these days, I think it's very interesting that for a few years now, we've had aggression, obsession, and low vibe tactics, plutonic karmic philosophies and methods being taught as the way to, you know, gain a uh to regain a traditional or stable or secure relationship with someone. And there has been a certain amount of normalizing what in the past was uh considered obsession, aggression or narcissistic or plutonic ways or tools. And there is something very selfish about well a lot very selfish about aggression obsession. Obsession aggression. It doesn't really matter either way it works. Uh, it's a misuse of power is what it is. And that being taught as a philosophy, how to misuse one's power in order to gain ground or to gain control. That does not lead to security. It's a very weak undermining way. It's undermining to yourself. It's undermining to the partner as well. Undermining way to get something to secure something. It's not secure. Actually, it won't last very long. You'll always always always have to work so hard to maintain it. They're always going to have to put out a lot of karma karmic plutonic energy to maintain that. It doesn't just flow.
So if we're doing things ourselves that are even microaggressions, we need to recognize that that can be a very undermining, manipulative way to communicate where we are, what's going on with us without really honestly communicating. Being honest, vulnerable about where we are, what we've got going on with us, what we need, what's really happening. And in obsessive relationships sometimes that can be the only tools that we find that we have because it's not okay to be honest that will upset the balance. And so if we are the one that having been in a unsafe connection for a long time we ourselves start adopting manipulative or aggressive tactics and we start um or find ourselves developing a habit of microaggressions, stonewalling, distancing, avoidance, criticism. We can be in a situation where we are addicted or attached, obsessed in some way. And we are using the best methods and ways and advice and habits and knowledge that we have. But we really have to look at um, is it out of love that we're doing these things or is it out of fear? Is it out of anger? Is it out of resentment? Because we can have a lot of nasty microaggression coming out to pay somebody back. And it can seem right at the time. It can seem justified at the time because sometimes microaggression is all we've got. Real communication or confrontation may not be allowed. And if that's the case, we need to go back to relationship school. We need to curate and build a life and relationships where we get to be upfront and honest and constructive about how we communicate our needs and our feelings and yeah, our needs and our feelings.
So I kind of veered off there from talking about how uh in these modern times they're kind of teaching people not kind of actively uh teaching each other plutonic tactics. But that will only bring people back to old old circles, old habits, old ways. That's all dying out. We're seeing through all of that. Have you noticed that um that kind of philosophy has become such a caricature of humanity? It's a uh trend and the trajectory not the trend in the age of Aquarius is cooperation not dominance. Once upon a time in the age of the patriarchy, dominance ruled the day because we were in survival mode. And going into the age of Aquarius, we're maturing out of the dowy system and out of transactional relationships and coming into choice and being with each other because we want to be. Being with each other because we freely choose that we are all in. Not divided within ourselves. Unsure, uncommitted, unhappy, unavailable. We come into relationships perfectly whole and complete or as close to it as we can get. And then oftentimes we will finish together. We will finish what uh really can't be worked on in our sovereignty. Finish those aspects of ourselves together within the relationship. So we come on in as individuals but we also help to complete each other through our own commitment to our own wholeness. And we're not allowed to have wholeness in obsessive relationships that have aggression in them. Are not allowed to have wholeness because that's a threat to the inappropriate attachment. And if you try to take that leap too quick, too soon in a relationship that isn't built for that, um, you can find that the relationship will end because you asked for good things. You asked for the right things. You asked for healthy things.
So, that's what I've got time for today. Um, I am going to switch over and spend some time with my subscribers in my membership group. My sound wasn't working last time. I apologize, guys. I tried to show up for you. I tried to come in three times, but the sound was not working, which did not make sense to me because it was just working in the live. So, I'm going to switch over there and we will hopefully not have the same stupid problem. If we do, I'll get out a different device. But let me see what uh Oh, Reene, hello. Let me see what you guys have got to say here. Uh, Secret of the Universe. I started at 2 p.m. not too long ago. Uh, Alice, you've got a lot of natal Saturn and Pluto and this series has been so cathartic. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. I've gotten a lot of good comments about this series. It seems like a lot of people are struggling with these particular topics. And you know what? These can be embarrassing things to talk about. These can be subjects that we don't want to admit to everybody because it can make us look weak or it can make us look lame or immature. But stuff like this, obsession, Pluto issues, lirance, this happens more than you think it does. This is often a path to self-discovery for many, many people. And it's also nice to have a community with which we can share this because there are some people, let's say not most people, some people who haven't experienced some of these things. Usually they never experience childhood neglect. So they don't uh they aren't really prone to obsession or liance. But it's nice to have a community of people who can relate, who who can get it, and so we don't have to feel alone.
So I am going to go ahead and swip switch over to my subscriber group. If you guys are interested in joining the inner circle and asking questions and interacting and getting the sillier side of me, grab a membership and I will see if you see you over at the membership section. Sorry, I had too much coffee this morning, honestly. And um, my mouth was a little faster than my brain today. All right, I will see you guys next time and we will be back and I will highlight a different um topic around this very important subject. So,