Hypocrisy of The INFJ | CS Joseph

What's up, ego hackers? This is the CS Joseph podcast, premium edition, season 30, episode 12. What is the hypocrisy of the INFJ archetype?

Anyway, folks, you know, INFJs are hypocrites like the rest of us. And uh, it's not like anyone'd be able to tell because, quite honestly, they seem harmless, right? They're always the most helpful person, or will always end up being the most helpful person to any one individual, or even to a lot of people in their life. What possible reason do we have to actually consider these people being, um, you know, a hypocrite of some kind? How is it even, how, how is that even a thing, right?

Well, it is a thing. I mean, it's kind of obvious. I mean, for those of you who are pretty well entrenched in my content, you kind of know that like Templar types are probably the most hypocritical of us all, with the ISTP probably being it, you know, probably the most hypocritical of all the 16 types. But again, that's just my personal bias. And that personal bias can end up being an issue, you know, over time. But the facts are the facts. The facts are, you know, the INFJ, like, they're probably definitely second most hypocritical of all the types. But it's not because they're intending on that. They're really not trying to be hypocrites. It's just, it ends up occurring to them or happening to them by happenstance.

So, and I think that's because, you know, earlier in life, their extroverted intuition nemesis is just not as aware of the consequences of their actions. Like, for example, the consequences that they should consider when offering help to somebody. And then all of a sudden, their SI demon ends up obligating them. And I think that's one of the reasons why they hate so much when an SI inferior, like myself, allows myself to be easily obligated by other people, because their SI demon oftentimes finds themselves obligated in a similar way because they completely ignore their needs and focus completely on their wants and their willpower. But then, because of that ignoring of needs that they end up having, basically as, um, you know, as a person, they end up prioritizing everybody else's needs. Well, they end up in a situation that's very similar to me. And I, I end up getting Stockholm syndrome and being loyal or being obligated to the people who are abusive to me. Whereas the INFJ kind of has a worse situation where they, they have potential to be obligated to basically anybody. And it's that SI demon obligation that often gets them into serious, severe trouble.

So, kind of like, you know, when an INFJ gets so obligated to a particular person that they end up stealing for that person. Basically, they go full klepto. But it's never klepto for themselves. It's like klepto for other people. They end up having this TI child Robin Hood, uh, complex, TE trickster Robin Hood complex, where they label themselves Robin Hood. And this is socially justified to take from these people who have plenty and give it to this person who doesn't have much. When the reality situation is, the person that doesn't have much chose to be in that position to begin with. And any nemesis makes it very hard for the INFJ to be aware of other people making those decisions, basically. It becomes very, and especially with TE trickster, they end up becoming really unaware of the irresponsibility of other people. And then they end up being, you know, too trusting with those people. And just like, you know, INTJs can be very trusting with them as well. And honestly, like, it really bothers me. It, it actually causes me a ton of concern. A lot of concern.

You know, I, I love INFJs. I love them with all my heart. Um, some of the most passionate friendships and sexual relationships in my life have been with INFJs. And I just, I love them. Even though, you know, anecdotally speaking, you know, most people would say it's, it's my problem, not their problem. Maybe they're right. But INFJs often are the ones who betray me the most, too. But why do they betray? Why do they? What's actually happening there? It's actually a hypocrisy, the INFJ hypocrisy that leads to betrayal. And that hypocrisy basically is, like, for example, um, I had an INFJ who used to work for me, uh, at one point in time. She was, uh, she was doing, um, like, some kind of work for me, uh, information technology related. Um, absolutely beautiful woman, gorgeous woman, very sweet, very helpful, very awesome. Um, you know, it's too bad, like, the circumstances that happened, uh, between us and, um, you know, just people in our lives. But there was one point in time where, like, she betrayed me. Um, and it's not necessarily something that, like, I'm calling a question of her character. It's more of like the character of the people that she was around.

And, you know, the reason why is because INFJs often times find themselves in a situation where they're very attention starved. And with inferior, I completely understand. I completely understand being attention starved. Um, because you're really anxious to be around people. You're anxious to perform around people. And this is why INFJs often times find themselves very reclusive. They don't go out. They don't go meet people. They don't want to go around people because they're afraid of performing badly, because ultimately they're afraid of being rejected when being rejected because of that poor performance, right? And that can be a serious problem for INFJs. So, what ends up happening, because of their fear of rejection and leaning into that fear of rejection, they end up, uh, they end up obviously performing poorly because of their anxiety. And they don't have, they're not getting enough practice around people, which is what allows them to perform well. INFJs need practice, but they're not allowing themselves to go in public and actually practice their social skills or their performance skills, etc., which leads to more rejection. So, they have to see, they have to see being rejected or not being rejected as an actual skill that they have to practice. And the only cure for rejection is rejection. But if they don't put themselves in the position to be rejected, well, what the hell? Then they're never going to be practiced and they're always going to be stuck in this rut for the rest of their life. And that too is a hypocrisy.

However, however, it can lead to betrayal. It can lead to betrayal because they get so starved for attention while they're being so reclusive, they get so starved for attention that when they finally get attention, and it's really cheap attention, when they finally get attention, and it's usually cheap attention, comes from bad people, corrupt people, cheap people. They themselves become bad. They themselves become corrupt. Because INFJs are the average of the people that they are around. If you put them around good, high-quality people, the INFJ will be a good, high-quality person. You put them around low-quality people, they themselves will become a low-quality person.

So, this person that I used to know, this INFJ that I used to know, who I care about a great deal, even to this day, very much care about this person. Um, and, uh, their friends, these cheap friends of theirs, like, just ended up like telling her how much of a bad person I was. And because I wasn't actually present amongst that group of friends to defend myself, or no one spoke up for me, their TE trickster got to a point where it's like, hey, this has to be true because this is the only input my TI child is getting. And I find that very frustrating. I find that deplorable. Very deplorable. I, I, I, I regret that because, you know, I'm not present to defend myself. I'm not present to give a counterargument. So then all of a sudden, because I'm not providing, you know, input that conflicts with the general narrative of, you know, her friends, she just then automatically assumes her friends, who are people who are biased and don't like me, who hate my guts basically, and are content to use me for whatever whims they may have. Then they tell her that, "Oh, he's, you know, he's [ __ ]." And then because I'm not present to say otherwise, she just assumes that what they're saying has to be true. And then that leads to the betrayal. You know, that's a hypocrisy. It's one of the major, major reasons why I have very few INFJs in my life is because of that issue alone.

Because INFJs have this problem where they choose to basically listen to anyone. They choose to listen to literally any person. And they give everyone a voice. Why? Because they want a voice. They want to be listened to. Because when they are listened to, it's proof that they're actually valuable. It's proof that they're actually useful. And then they don't have to listen their FI critic telling them every day how worthless they are because at least somebody listened, right? Well, the problem is, in giving everybody a chance to speak, they, the quality of input that the INFJ ends up getting is such low quality. It's so utterly ridiculous that they end up behaving ridiculous. They end up mirroring that. This is why you start having those INFJs who think, you know, that there's special energy and and superpowers for certain crystals, for example, you know, even though there's no scientific basis for that. Um, but, but at the same time, like, you know, it's because they don't filter the input. They don't filter the input. And it literally, INFJs are kind of machine-like in that regard. If you just put in that the majority of the input fits your narrative, your narrative is going to be what is dominant in the INFJ's mind.

This is one of the worst things about TE trickster. And given how external an INFJ is, especially compared to an ISFJ, given how external they are, it is so easy to mind control an INFJ, especially with media and propaganda. They will buy it because if, just, just on volume alone, just on volume alone, accuracy has nothing. But if you, what, what I'm saying is, is that the INFJ is so weak from being gaslit from a media perspective, a news perspective, daily life perspective, people they know at work, they are so easily gaslit that you can gaslight an INFJ into thinking anybody is evil, and then they'll act on it. That's the problem. You know, ENFJs are ENFJs, they're not so weak to being gaslit, but ENFJs are all about gaslighting other people. That's for sure. Uh, but INFJs are the most weak to being gaslit, and they need to be protected from being gaslit. And it's so funny because ENFPs, their golden pair, see how easily they are gaslit. And at first, the ENFP will be depraved and then start gaslighting the INFJ to their advantage, while simultaneously protecting INFJ from anyone else gaslighting them. So then the ENFP is like, "Only I'm the one who's allowed to gaslight my INFJ. No one else is." So they'll protect the INFJ from all those external gaslighting sources while gaslighting the INFJ themselves. And that too is an ENFP hypocrisy that I often see, especially within that golden pair relationship.

But really though, it ends up being like this huge, huge issue, really, really big issue, is having to just manage and filter out the gaslighting. Now, I have TE critic, so at least, you know, I can even catch myself potentially gaslighting an INFJ, and I'll take full responsibility when it happens. It wouldn't be necessarily something that's intentional. And I absolutely criticize everybody else gaslighting the INFJ. But what's a really amazing superpower of TE critic that I can offer INFJs in our pedagogue companionship relationship is that I can expose the INFJ this other hypocrisy where they literally gaslight themselves. Oh my god, it's so, so frustrating to listen to an INFJ believe their own [ __ ]. And I literally watch them gaslight themselves over and over. It's bad enough that the world, society, their family, all the people in their life are taking advantage of them and gaslighting them. But to watch an INFJ gaslight themselves, especially after mirroring all of those [ __ ] their whole life, oh my god, it's one of the most saddest things in the whole world for my effy child to even like comprehend. It's super frustrating. It's like it's unbearable. It's completely unbearable how they just gaslight themselves. And I'm just like, "Stop, stop, stop. You don't need to." These, they're consistently plagued by the voices of other people. And it's funny because like my wife, she's an ESTP. Her INFJ subconscious, she'll gaslight herself too. And I'm like, "Holy shit." I'm, I'm like, "I thought I wasn't going to have to deal with this with you." Uh, uh, uh. Nope. Because she has the voices of her father. She has the voices of her mother. She has the voices of her brother. She has the voices of any of her, uh, the past men in her life, as well as the voices of her teachers or everyone who shat on her for being a masculine woman, etc., in her whole life, or telling her that she would never be feminine enough. Like, especially her grandfather. Oh my god, that guy is probably the most sexist person I've ever met in my life.

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And that's a problem. That could be a serious, serious problem. It is a serious problem because often times it creates a mess that I often have to clean up. But thank God ENTPs exist for INFJs because at least we can cut through the [ __ ] and at least we can cut through it so deeply and get and use our heart temple passion to just kind of burn the lies away where we can actually, it's not, it's not as shallow as like an ENFP where they can burn the lies to a point because they're only going to burn the surface level lies and and retain their own lies, their own gaslighting that they're going to be doing towards the INFJ, which is a huge problem. But the ENTP with TE critic is at least strong enough, is at least strong enough to be like, "Hey, I could tolerate you and I could tolerate your failure with my SI inferior because I care about you, because I love you, because I'm patient with you and I'm going to stick around, but I'm also going to expose to you how you gaslight yourself."

Now, an ESTP isn't going to do that. The ESTP is just going to go up to the INFJ and be like, "Your performance sucks because you gaslight yourself." And then it's all about performance, and then it's going to hurt the ego of the INFJ, and the INFJ is going to end up hating the ESTP for saying that. Whereas the ENTP, the ENTP is just going to be really patient with them and just tell them, "Yeah, you're gaslighting yourself. You might want to stop. You might want to listen. You who are trying to get everybody else to listen to you, but then everyone sees how easily you gaslight yourself, or maybe they don't. Or those that do, they, they take advantage of it and then they pull the wool over your eyes. So that could be, that could be a huge problem, a really, really big problem. And I, I find that I find that very, very frustrating having to protect them from themselves constantly. Constantly. It's like my ISFJ subconscious is like, "Ooh, my, my purpose in life is to protect the INFJs from themselves." You know, of course, they see that, they see the same thing for me. They're trying to protect me from being overly obligated to other people. But then they allow themselves to be overly obligated themselves because when they get starved, when they get starved of attention, they'll start behaving like me. They'll start behaving like an ENTP and then just get obligated to other people because that's the only way they can actually get attention. And then that is really just, it's so unhealthy and it's a form of codependence. That too is another, um, hypocrisy because there's no one more codependent than an INFJ. They have this concept of needing to be needed.

I was watching, uh, I was watching like season 2, episode one, or maybe it's episode two of the show called Community. It's a nice comedy on Netflix. And watching the ENTP telling everybody else, "You don't want me here. You all being codependent. You need me here," and you're just being codependent. Yeah. And that's when he's like going to go talk to his lawyer friends because his group didn't want him to talk to, uh, his lawyer friends from his past, etc. And he got all upset about them. Well, and his child was so happy about being accepted by his lawyer friends again. And things just kind of went down south, you know, from there. But his main point was is that like the need, needing to be needed, right? That's another problem with the INFJ. No. No. It's not about needing to be needed. Stop being a [ __ ] recluse. Get out there and actually meet people. Go on the journey of meeting people and exposing yourself to other people. That's what your SI demon wants from you anyway. Your SI demon wants you to put more effort into life, basically. So why not do it? So why not do that? I think, I think that's something INFJs really need to be aware of as like a huge risk, gaslighting themselves. That's why they need TE users in their life to help them stop gaslighting themselves. The problem is, is that often times those TE users are interest-based, especially NFPs, and they see the INFJ doing it and then they take advantage of the INFJ. Then in comes Chase to the rescue. You know, me, when I used to play Captain Save a Ho. Oh my god. Yeah, that used to be me. And have to like completely undo all of that crap in the INFJ woman's life, for example. But it's not just the women. I've had to deal with it in the men. I can literally, I can literally find them. I'm literally being Captain Save a Ho for my hoish INFJ man friends because they hoe themselves out. And I'm not just talking like sexually. I'm talking about being so starved for attention that they end up whoring themselves out to these corrupt people. Then they end up becoming corrupt like them. And then those people are gaslighting them into do things, even to the point of stealing or giving them money. Oh, that's the worst thing, willing to do that for other people. Because INFJs, they really don't care about money. They just care about helping. They care about being there for other people. INFJs are like the true human beings. And as often times as INFJs don't feel human, I find them to be the most human of us all. I really do. I find them to be more human than FI inferiors. I find them to be more human than FI heroes. It. I, I'm astounded by their humanity on a consistent basis.

But the problem is, is that part of being a good human means that you have to be responsible and you have to know when to put up boundaries to prevent yourself from being taken advantage of. And that's, that's, I mean, that's just part of life. That's just part of growing up. But how are they even going to be able to have boundaries or even enforce boundaries if they don't even know that they're gaslighting themselves? Because it's one thing to do to get them to doors slam the people that they shouldn't have in their life. It's one thing for me to say, you know, "Oh, I'm C. Joseph, be like, 'Oh, get the losers out of your life.'" It, it, it's one thing for me to say that, but it's a complete other thing for me to say, "Get the loser out of yourself. Stop gaslighting yourself." I know that you've been beat down by life, but that's still no excuse. You really can't do that. Because when an INFJ is doing that, they're really just comparing themselves to other people. Like those, like that INFJ woman I used to know. You know, it's funny. There's a, there's another INFJ woman, uh, who I knew. Actually, they both had the same name. That was fascinating. And, um, both, uh, really fantastic human beings. Both probably some of the most human people I've ever met. Um, beautiful women, but they both struggled with the same thing. And they just couldn't get over the fact that everyone was gaslighting them. And then eventually, their TE trickster can't even tell who is gaslighting them until after it's over, after the damage is done. And sometimes they'll even accuse other people of gaslighting them when they're not.

So, I'm sure people are like, "Okay, well, what does gaslighting mean by now?" Let me define it. Gaslighting basically means when you tell somebody something over and over and over, like you label something something over and over and over that they end up becoming the thing, right? So if you tell a little girl that she's a [ __ ] every single day of her life, guess what's going to happen? She becomes a [ __ ], right? It's the same thing. It's one of the reasons why INFJs, INFJ women, you know, they end up becoming prostitutes, you know, INFJs like end up having the highest body counts out of all the types. And it's because of this issue. It's because of this hypocrisy. It's because they don't understand boundaries. But you got to deprogram them from the external gaslighting. You got to deprogram them from the internal gaslighting. And it is so hard to do. It could take years. It especially doesn't help when you know they go to therapy, right? Because INFJs often go to therapy, and INFJs are often the therapist, which is a [ __ ] [ __ ] show if you ask me. And then they go to the therapy only to be gaslit by the therapist and only to have their gaslighting of themselves actually enabled and no solving of problems. Oh, it's the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. When an INFJ could have just one session with me and get more therapy in that one hour session than they could have in years because I'm just going to tell them the truth. I'm just going to expose themselves to themselves and get them to realize that the reason why their life sucks isn't because of necessarily other people. It's actually them because they don't have, and they shouldn't be comparing themselves to other people.

This is yet another hypocrisy. They're constantly comparing themselves to other people, as well as the performance of other people, or other people's ability to command attention, or other people's ability to gain acceptance, and compared to themselves. And they're like, "Well, I can't get that attention. I can't get that, um, that acceptance, so I must be a bad person. I must be worthless. I must not be a good person. I must not be valuable." When that's entirely inaccurate. The reason why the INFJ is not actually getting anywhere in life is because they're comparing themselves to other people. When the INFJ needs to get to the point where they are comparing themselves to themselves. This is why they have extroverted thinking trickster. This is the entire point behind the trickster function. It's the whole point. TE trickster is able to compare. It just is. Only has enough room in it to compare to one thing at a time. So, an INFJ needs to learn how to compare themselves to themselves. It's kind of like you're playing, um, Gran Turismo, right? Or Cruisin USA or Rush 2049 on Nintendo 64. The literal best racing game ever made. Sorry about all those branch reasonable people or all those Forza Motorsport people. I actually worked on the Forza Motorsport project, uh, at Xbox at Microsoft at one point in time. There's a mode in these games where you actually get on the racetrack, and it's just you on your in your car on the racetrack, and you're racing on the racetrack. And then at the end, uh, you do one whole lap and you hit the finish line on that lap and it takes your time down, right? So that's awesome. It just takes your time. And then on the next lap, all of a sudden, a ghost of your previous self spawns right next to you. And all of a sudden, you're racing your ghost on the track. And that, what that ghost is, is your previous time. And you got to just beat yourself, basically. That is literally how INFJs, every INFJ out there needs to live their life. They need to, it's kind of like outrunning the bear, except they're outrunning themselves. They're outrunning the previous version of themselves that they were the previous day or the previous lap to beat their previous time. If an INFJ were to just do that and never compare themselves to other people and not fall in that Templar trap of, "Well, if no one else is improving, then I don't have to improve." It's really bad with ISTPs, and INFJs don't do it as much, but they do do it. They do do it. And that could be a, that could be a serious problem for them.

But really though, like they just got to, they just got to beat their previous self. They just got to compare themselves to themselves. They just got to go beyond who they were previously. Because here's the thing, they have to get to a point, it doesn't matter how other people can perform. It doesn't matter how much attention other people can get. If they can just beat their previous time, other people's acceptance and other people's, other people's attention, they will be given those things. Those things are byproducts because people will see how they're able to perform better against themselves. Because if they spend every day improving against themselves and competing against themselves, that'll make them better every single day, every new day. And that's important. They'll make themselves better every single day. And then all of a sudden, people will take notice because pretty soon they'll be on the racetrack with other people, but because they've done so well against their own time, they'll just defeat everybody on the track and they'll get first prize. When it had nothing to do with competing or comparing against other people. They were just competing and comparing with themselves because their previous self was still so much further along than anyone else, any of their competitors on the track or any of their competitors in life.

Let me tell you something, folks. That's an INFJ worth sticking around for. That's an INFJ that's a, a rare breed. That's an INFJ worth dying for. It's not about comparing other people. It's about comparing themselves. That's how they solve this hypocrisy. That's how they stop gaslighting themselves. That's how they stop believing their own lies. That's how they stop believing other people's lies because they're literally choosing to filter out everybody else except themselves. And then they'll stop gaslighting themselves because they'll realize who they were the previous day is no longer the truth. That past self from yesterday is actually the new lie. And all the INFJ has to do is choose to not be who they were the previous day and choose to be 1% better, half a percent better. It's an improvement. And as long as they are in a state of continuous improvement every single goddamn day, that INFJ, I promise folks, will reach happiness. They will command attention. They will command acceptance. Everyone will accept that. Everyone will give them their attention and they'll have all the attention they've ever wanted. They'll have all the acceptance that they've ever wanted. They'll have all the freedom that they've ever dreamed of. And people will come to them asking them for advice. Come to them asking them for help. And then the INFJ gets to teach everybody else, "Hey, it's not about other people. It's really about you. I'm gonna, you need to learn how to compare yourself to yourself. You need to get a better time on the track and race against yourself." That's all it is, folks. That's how an INFJ can have the best life is they just have to race against themselves. Don't listen to the people. You know, as much as I tell INFJs to get the losers out of their life, they need to get the loser out of themselves. And the only way an INFJ cannot be a loser is if they are improving, even by the smallest amount, but it's still improvement every single day. Do you know why? Because their super ego literally said it. Their ISTJ super ego in the form of Dominic Toretto. It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or if you win by a mile. Winning is winning. It doesn't matter if you improve by 0.00001%. It's still improvement because INFJs need to be on this journey of improvement. That's all there is. It doesn't matter what anyone else says. It doesn't matter how much you gaslit. It doesn't matter how much you gaslight yourself. It doesn't matter anyone's voices that you choose to listen to. It doesn't matter. It makes no goddamn difference. It makes no difference. The reality is the truth is, it's about you and you being better and improving yourself in some capacity the following day. You just have to be better. And you have to have all of your introverted sensing demon devotion and effort put into improving yourself the following day. That's the point. That's really, that's really what life is. That's what life means to the INFJ. That is how they could become the best. That is how they can turn their hypocrisy into a strength and become the best of us because they are able to become the best of us because they are the best of themselves.

How many times have I heard of INFJs speaking to me about their so-called past lives? No one understands reincarnation more than an INFJ. Why? Because they live reincarnation every single day. Because the previous day was literally a previous life and today is their new life and today is a new day and today they can improve even 0.0001% still improvement and they are still on their journey of improvement, folks. That's incredible to me. Those are the INFJs I want in my life. Those are the INFJs I appreciate. Those are the INFJs that I look up to. Those are the INFJs that get my appreciation, get my attention. Those are the INTJs that inspire my loyalty. Those are the INFJs that I love and love dearly. Those are the INFJs that I would consider family if they ever even gave me the chance. But I often don't get that chance because I'm too busy deprogramming from all the crap that they've gotten from the people in their circle when I wouldn't even have a voice and I never got a voice. My voice was taken away. It's so funny how they'll give everybody else a voice, but when it comes to me, the pragmatic ENTP, the pariah of society itself, I'm the first person they take my voice away because they don't even give me the opportunity to speak to begin with. And both of those INFJ women of the same name, that's exactly how they treated me. If only they were more honest with themselves, then they could have been more honest with me. And if they were more honest with me, they would have had my loyalty. They would have had my love. They would have had my passion. But no, they chose differently. They chose the way of fear, the way of insecurity, the way of anxiety because it's easy for them. Because like INTJs, INFJs like to take shortcuts. They all really love their, their shortcuts. So tired of their shortcuts. They need to actually put in some effort. It's funny. I, I put a lot of effort in things and yeah, I need to learn how to perform better with my effort. INFJs, they put in a lot of performance in there, but they don't do the effort. They don't put in enough effort. They're like, "Hey, I tried. That's good enough, right?" No, it's not. It's not good enough. Because what ends up happening is that these people end up agreeing to help somebody and then they regret it. They regret helping that person because they realize, "Oh crap, I was just been taken advantage of. I was just guilted into this." Yeah. Yeah. And it's so easy for INFJs to take the very object of their affection and then say that, "Oh, because you're going to reject me, you're evil." Even though I never was going to reject them, not once. Not once. This is ridiculous to me. Completely ridiculous. So much wasted potential off of that. You think they're happy? There's some INFJ men in my life too, including ones who've worked for me. There's just this constant pattern with INFJs. You know, the society is just not really conducive to them because they're so gas lit and they gaslight themselves. They don't even realize it. They don't even realize the damage they do to themselves and they do to others. They just don't get it. And that's what's really sad about them. They just don't get it. They end up just being in this constant box of suffering that they can never get out of. It's like being in a bucket of crabs and you're trying to get out, but the other crabs are pulling you down. When in reality, it's you pulling yourself down, not the other crabs. You who have all the willpower, all the choice in the world, but you squander your choice. You waste your choice. You waste your freedom because of what? Fear. Go put in some more effort. Stop being a recluse and go out there and meet people. Who cares if your anti-hero doesn't get the outcome that it wants? Who cares? Go on the journey. Bring something with you to make yourself productive while you're in public until someone approaches you or, God forbid, actually approach somebody. Doesn't mean you have to have sex with them. What about being just friends, right? What about that? Has anyone thought about that? Has anyone considered that at all? It's absolutely maddening.

There's another thing, another hypocrisy of INFJs. They're so afraid of having people who are more advanced than they are in their life because then that means they'd have to change. Or they're like, "Well, I have nothing to offer that person." So what? Who cares if you don't have something to offer that person? If they're there to help you, you should humble yourself and accept that help instead of having your TI child god complex. Or is that, or is your god complex as a result of you gaslighting yourself? Because that's the thing about INFJs. They'll gaslight themselves negatively and they become super self-deprecating. Or they will gaslight themselves too positively and become the biggest arrogant god complex person you've ever met in your life. Oh, it's disgusting. Really hate that about them. Wish they grow up, wish they change, wish they'd understand that there's people like me out there who actually care about them, that actually do want to stick around. You know, they just have to be willing to face the truth. They have to be willing to let go their ego investments.

Here's another hypocrisy about INFJs. They expect everybody else to lose their ego investments. They expect everyone else to let them burn other people's lives away and let go of people's and and free people of their bad ego investments, but they themselves do not want to let go of their own ego investments. Oh my god, that is my INFJ mentor to a tea. God bless you, Robert Moriel. But seriously, when are you going to grow up? You know what I mean? When are you going to grow? That's what you did. You burned my lives away. You took away my ego investments. Thank God for that. I'm very thankful and I'm very grateful for that. But you still hold on to your ego investments even to the point of not even allowing other people in your life the opportunity to change or change for the better. How can you be so unforgiving towards other people? How is it you can't allow even, for example, to realize that your own father is a victim too? Yes, you yourself was a victim, and so also, and a victim is your father. But your father was also a victim. Why can't you see that? Why can't you just let him have that? Why can't you just forgive him? It's not like he has to be in your life. It's not like you'd want him in your life. But it doesn't matter. Why can't you just love him? Why can't you let him be human? Just because you INFJs don't feel human doesn't mean that you get to treat people as if they're not human, just like you are. It's just cognitive projection, right?

[Music]

That's a problem. That's a problem, folks. I'm so tired of that. I'm so tired of that hypocrisy. You know, I make these videos for everybody else that have INFJs in their lives so that y'all can see their issues and so y'all can criticize them and save them from themselves. Even though INFJs often times elect themselves the savior of other people, right? It's as it is said in, uh, Star Trek Picard, season 1, sheer [ __ ] hubris. That's what that is. Sheer [ __ ] hubris. And it's just ridiculous. Constantly ridiculous over and over and over that TI child god complex. And they can't, you know, and it's funny because it's like, "Oh yeah, yeah, you know, try to try to help." They, they go out of their ways to help everybody else, but they won't help themselves. And it's usually because they don't know how to help themselves because they're too busy gaslighting themselves to notice how to help themselves, or other people are gaslighting them, or they've allowed other people to gaslight them. It's like an aberous. They just can't escape this endless cycle, you know? Well, they can if they start comparing themselves to themselves. If they do that, that'd be fine. That would be appropriate. That would be, that would be preferable, right? God, I love them so much. I love INFJs so much. Just wish they'd see it. Wish they'd see it, but it's so hard for them to see themselves because they're so external. But that's why I'm there to show them their pedagogue. Someone who loves them that I'd even stick around. Love them so much that I would stick around even when they fail, and I'll show them how they failed and how they can improve. And hopefully, because of my example to them, they can grow up to the point where they realize that they just have to fail less every day. And then all of a sudden, they'll start succeeding every day and they just have to exceed slightly more every day until finally they outperform everybody else because all they have to do is just outperform themselves. Because here's everybody else's performance, you know. But if they just outperform themselves, they'll eventually get way beyond everybody else. Eventually, they'll just outperform everybody, just like, uh, that swimmer, the Thorpedo in Australia, you know, Michael Phelps. He's an INFJ, right? I think he is. I, I don't remember. Racing against their own time, racing against themselves in life. That's how they get past their hypocrisy. That's how, that's how they become the best version of themselves. That's how they get noticed. That's how they get accepted. The difference is, my FE child, I'll accept them by default. I'll accept them right away. I'll give them that acceptance right away. But what do they do with that acceptance? Do they waste it? That's the issue. That's my problem with them. I wish they would see the gift that I've given them and the gift that other people have given them.

[Music]

You know, you know, my wife, she's no different. And teaching her to race against herself, it's just been, it's, it's been hard. It's been hard for her, hard for her growth. But I know she appreciates it. And she's become a better person every single day. She just needs to stop comparing herself to other people. She needs to stop letting her INFJ subconscious just get to her and all these people gaslighting her where she gaslights herself. She'll even like, her, her mind will fill in the blanks and assume that I have judgments of her that I never actually had. And INFJ egos no different. No different. It's so frustrating. It's also extremely sad. They have a lot more hope. And then, and then the gaslighting gets so bad. What do they do? They just, they, what? They kill themselves. Great. You know, like, like my friend Lawrence, he killed himself. Always made me so sad when he killed himself. When he found out that, uh, he found out that, uh, his woman was with another man, basically. And that was it. That was it for him. Then he went to a, uh, he went to a hotel and snorted coke off of hooker and scooter and then he overdosed and killed himself. And then I buried him. It's really sad. I miss him. I miss him every day. He was a good man. He was a really good man. He was the most human of us all. That even he could, was such a victim of his own hypocrisy and a victim of being gaslit and gaslighting himself. And he had that TI child god complex where he couldn't listen. He just couldn't listen. He had to be the solver of all the problems because that's the only way he could live with himself is being the solver of all the problems. But he's not supposed to be the solver of all the problems. He's supposed to be the solver of his problem. He's supposed to race against his problem, race against himself. And he never developed the skill.

Folks, this is the number one skill INFJs need to learn. This is the number one skill that they have to have in order to get through life. Every, like, all of their dreams. You're an INFJ, you're watching this, you want your dreams to come true, race against yourself and use your SI demon devotion. You know, where you survive, where you're this amazing survivor, like what we're talking about with the INTJ SI demon being that survivor. This is how you survive. But quite frankly, it's actually how you thrive. Race against yourself. Practice against yourself. Be better against yourself. And I promise you, you'll be above everybody else eventually. You'll be able to outperform everyone else eventually. It's a byproduct of that effort. It's not the point. You're not supposed to outperform everyone else. You're not supposed to, or you're not supposed to like command that attention, you know, just because you're awesome or whatever. No, you're only awesome because you race it against yourself. It's a byproduct. People noticing you, giving their attention, sticking around even when you fail, people accepting you. All of those things are just byproducts of you performing better against how you previously performed the previous day. That's all there is. That's all there is to it. You have to have that competitive spirit, but you have to direct it inwardly and not outwardly. And then by doing so, all of the outward rewards will be yours. And those rewards are just byproducts of that thing. That's all you have to do. This is how you deal with your hypocrisy. This is how you come to realization of the truth of your life. You want to have a better life? Race against yourself. Perform better. You know, it's funny. They have their any nemesis. They're so worried about what other people would do. They're so worried about, you know, "Well, that person might outperform me," or "That person might outdo me," or "That person might this, that person might that." Who cares? I performed this way yesterday. I need to perform better than I did yesterday. That's the proper attitude. Use your experience. Use your demon. You got to understand that all you INFJs need to do is stop keeping score with everyone around you and start just keeping score with yourself. On your own internal scoreboard, there should only be room for you and who you were the previous day. There should be room for nobody else. It's the literal scoreboard, your internal scoreboard. You do that, I promise you success in your life. I promise you loyalty. I promise you passionate, enthusiastic love in your life. I promise you that family you've always wanted, that safety you've always wanted, that even potential fame that you wanted, or that acceptance that you wanted, those things will be in unlimited supply if you do this. If you can get over your hypocrisy, this is how you solve that problem. It's so necessary, you know. Yes, I'm doing this work for, you know, ending fatherlessness. I'm doing, you know, but I'm also doing it for you INFJs because this is how I give back to my mentor for what he's done for me and what, and through me, what he has done for this audience because I love him. I love him dearly. I love all you INFJs, even the ones that have betrayed me. I love you and I love you so [ __ ] much. You know, maybe you come to realization that you've just been gaslighting yourself. You've been comparing yourself to other people if you're taking tricks when you should just be comparing yourself to yourself. And then maybe, maybe you can actually forgive me. Maybe you realize all along that it was just you mismanaging your own thoughts and your own judgments. And maybe I didn't actually do anything wrong all along. Maybe you realize it's because you were just afraid and you weren't bold. You know, because fortune favors the bold. You know, I often times get asked like, you know, "Hey, why, why are you married to Real Gun? Why are you married to an ESTP?" I'll tell you why. Because she was bold. Because she was bold. Because she took a risk. When an NI inferior takes a risk and takes a risk on me, but the INFJ women in my life weren't willing to do that. That's pretty pathetic if you think about it. Fortune favors the bold. And I prefer bold women. That's a fact. And my wife, she's bold. God bless her. Use that boldness. Go forth and practice. Practice makes perfect.

Here's another hypocrisy. You know, let's say the INFJ finally stops gaslighting themselves. Let's say the INFJ finally got to the mental point where they're they they have their own scoreboard and they're comparing themselves against themselves only.

But then sometimes they're still even afraid of the practice because it's like, well, I'm going to fail while I practice. And I'm like, hello, that's hypocritical because in order to prevent failure, you have to practice. And practice is there so that you fail. You're not supposed to be perfect while you practice. That's the entire point. A lot of people just don't freaking understand that. Like use that practice time to get rid of failure and to outgrow that failure that you have so you stop being afraid of failure. So you stop being afraid of rejection because the only cure for rejection is more rejection. You have to practice.

And if you're like so starved for attention, you got to practice being around people. But if you're too afraid of failing because a feeling in practice, how the hell could you as an INFJ be entitled to success? How is that even possible? And that's what happened to my friend Lawrence. He got entitled to success. He didn't want to practice with women. He didn't want to practice with people. He got cheated on. He became a victim of hypergamy. And then guess what? He killed himself over it. He literally killed himself over it. And then I had the burden of burying my friend when he should have just practiced. He shouldn't have been afraid to fail during practice. That's all it is.

INFJ men, read the book, The Manual by W. Anon. Read the book Game by Roo Roo. If you can get a copy, good luck. They're out of print. Might have to get a PDF. But that's important, folks. Severely important. That's the truth. The truth about life. You know, you have to get to that point. It's who you are. It's how God made you. Get off your ass. Get out in public. Who cares if you're anxious? You know, people like me, we're out in public. You never know when you're going to meet one. You never know who's here. You never know who's going to expose you.

But listen to it. Be willing to let go of your ego investments instead of expecting everyone else to let go of your ego in their ego investments while you cling to yours. The hubris, the arrogance, the ti child god complex. Let go of it. You're not perfect. And every time you try to act perfect or try to be perfect, you're really just saying that, "Hi, I'm insecure and I'm comparing myself to everyone else and I haven't matured enough to compare myself to myself and hold myself accountable." That's all we ever really want. Literally, that's all we ever want. That's all we actually need.

Because you needing to be needed, that's codependence. How about How about you just being wanted? How about you just being appreciated? How about you getting gratitude in your life? How about that? Doesn't that sound good, INFJs? Doesn't that sound like an amazing life? How about that? And you can have that. Start comparing yourself to yourself. Put in the work. Put in the effort.

If you're not willing to put in the work and you're you you're just entitled. You're just entitled to everyone else's attention. Then you're entitled to everyone else's acceptance. And then you get all buttth hurt that you're not getting it. When you're not even putting in the work to practice getting that attention, to practice competing against yourself, which will give you attention, which will give you that acceptance you've always wanted. You're not even willing to do that. You just want to be entitled to it. And then you get so entitled to it that you end up being starred for attention, which leads you down the path to self-destruction like my friend Lawrence. Pathetic. Don't be like him. Don't be like my beloved friend.

And instead, grow up. Instead, become something more. Instead, become legend. And you can be legend. Every INFJ can become legend provided you compete against yourself and nobody else as long as every single day you're slightly better than the previous day. And that, my friends, is the key to INFJ happiness. It is the key to turning their own hypocrisy into this amazing beautiful force for continuous improvement such that they outperform everyone and they'll never run out of attention or acceptance in their life ever again. Mark my words, that's a guarantee.

If you found this lecture useful, helpful, educational, or enlightening, please leave a comment below in the comment section here in the members area. I'd like to hear your uh reactions to this. Thank you all for watching. Thank you all for financially supporting us and keeping the lights on. Thank you for your contributions to this community. I love you all, even the ones who have betrayed me. I do miss them even. But you know, si inferior Stockholm syndrome, right? You know, I can't help who I love. I can't help who I care about. But you know what? That's okay. You know, it's part of that masculine idealism, right? We just I just am who I am in my heart temple with all my passion and I can do no other. Just uh so help me God. Just like uh Martin Luther. So anyway folks, thanks for watching and I'll see you guys tonight.

[Music] You stole my heart of gold after my silver soul. Can you take any deeper now? I gave you all I own. Put you on this golden throw. But I'm a little stronger now.