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[Music] see the new generation flashing through the night. If looks could sing, the sounds would rain across.
[Music] [Applause] [Music] Make it. [Music] We made our choice. [Music] [Music] Is. [Music] [Applause] [Music] Is. [Music]
So what really makes people buy? What makes us do anything? You just watch some commercials. Commercials are a billion-dollar business. They really affect the way we think, what we buy, what we eat, what we dress, what we wear. They're the primary source of influence in our society. Many people believe, maybe even more than our schooling system. The average child today, by the time they're 18 years old, have spent more time in front of a television set, being exposed to these programming devices or these selling devices, than they have literally been in school itself. So it might be useful to see, for organizations to spend that much money and time, what do they believe the process of influence really is? What is the science of persuasion?
And I'm here to tell you that it's not probably what you and I were traditionally taught. Traditional sales taught me, at least, that what you're supposed to do is find somebody's needs, and of course, you knew what those were before you arrived. And what you're supposed to do is fill those needs, and by filling those needs, the customer would buy. That's true, and it's not true. Like a lot of things in life, maybe it's not quite as black and white as that. I would say to you that people don't really buy needs per se. At least that's not what they buy first. What people really buy are wants. Think about it. There are a lot of needs people have, but they still don't do anything about it. We don't do anything about it till we really want something too. Motivated. I believe that selling is the process of motivation. That literally, if you watch a commercial, it is a motivational device designed to influence your behavior, and is extremely successful. That's why they run them over and over and over again. Whether it be that traditional image that you see of AT&T, "Reach out and touch somebody," or whether it be something like Share Now, promoting, you know, holiday health spas. All of these things have one thing in common that I want you and I to really take a look at in this particular tape, and that is: How long does it really take to influence people? And what is the actual process in reality compared to what you and I have been taught? Because there is a rather big difference. And that big difference, I think, is seeing that influence happens in a moment. It doesn't happen through a 45-minute sales presentation. It's like all those things in the sales presentation set up a moment or two where a person all of a sudden links up in their head, "This is something they really want desperately." That it relates to a deep desire, and they can justify it. And those are the two elements we're going to talk about: how to build tremendous want for your product, and how to be able to let people know that they want to be able to justify getting it. And as I said in the first statement, I'll remind you of this, and I'll probably say this a lot: If you get people to want something bad enough, they'll usually find a way to justify it with just a little bit of help from you.
So what is the process? What makes us not only buy, but literally do anything? The answer is really simple. Everything we do, we do for a reason or a series of reasons. But what kind of reasons do we use? The primary motivating factor behind all human behavior is the desire to avoid pain and the desire or need to gain pleasure. Those two twin forces are what drive all human behavior. Everything you do is some description or some outlay of that particular idea. I'll take something simple. Ladies in the audience, raise your hand if you're wearing makeup. Come on, raise your hand. People notice. Good. Now I got a question for you. Why are you wearing makeup today? Did you wake up this morning and think to yourself, "God, I love this process. I just can't wait to put this stuff on"? I doubt it. You know, one woman here with drugs, but everybody else is okay. Okay. But how many of you woke up this morning and you didn't really want to put on your makeup? It was early, you're coming to class, but you decide, "Well, I'm going to put it on because by putting it on, what it would mean to me is, you know, I feel better about myself." Well, what it means is people will feel more attracted to me, or I think I look better. How many of you there for that reason? Okay, you too. Raise your hand. I see you there. Okay. And how many of you, though, didn't do it for those reasons? You, you thought, "I don't want to do this." In fact, you thought, "How come men don't have to do this?" You know, but you thought, "I'd better do it because if I don't, somebody's gonna say, 'What happened to your face?'" How many did it for that reason? Come on. So we do things in life for one of two reasons. We either do it to gain pleasure, to avoid pain, and sometimes, obviously, a combination of the two. But those are the twin forces of motivation for all human behavior.
So if you and I want to persuade someone of anything, we have to understand that people don't just do things because we tell them to. People do things for reasons. In other words, people have to associate the action of buying to creating tremendous pleasure, and the action of not buying to creating pain. That is the master formula to persuasion. Traditionally, what people think of is, even if they think of selling as something like motivation, they try and get somebody really pumped up and they say, "You know, gosh, if you get this, you get all these benefits." But I'm here to tell you that you can't just have somebody motivated out of their desire to want. You've also got to have them associate in their mind, actually feel that not buying would be painful. What do I mean, painful? That they would be missing something, that they would be losing, that they would be alone, any emotional wound or hurt. Because I want you to know this, and I know that sounds horrible, but I believe the best study of life is how it is, not how we think it should be. And the best study of life is this, in my opinion, in everything I've researched or studied: People will do more to avoid pain than they will ever do to get pleasure. I'll give you a classic example. Which are you more motivated to do? Save a thousand dollars, or keep someone from stealing a thousand dollars that's in your pocket? I would suggest to you that for most people, they're going to try and hang on to what they've got. They're going to try and avoid what they would consider to be losing or pain.
So what we're going to talk about then is, how can we create these twin motivations happening, and do it with integrity, and do it with elegance? I'm not talking about manipulating somebody or lying to them or showing them something that's not there. I'm talking about assisting them in getting what they want by utilizing the most powerful force within them for creating change. Now, when I'm talking about this, what we're really talking about then, in terms of emotions, is we're talking about consequences. You and I, as salespeople, as persuaders, must sell consequences: positive consequences if someone does well, in other words, the heaven if you do, and negative consequences if they don't. Now, we can't be so blatant to come out and just say that because if you just come out and say that, the prospect will go, "You're just trying to sell me." So there is a process to get to this point, obviously. One that prospects can have some questions in their mind. Question number one, they're probably going to have is, "Do you really have their best interest in mind? Can they trust you? Are you here just to make a sale? You know, can, when you say something, is it, you know, being filtered through your needs and desires, or is it really about them?" And that's why when we get into the actual step-by-step sales process, I'm going to teach you 10 steps to sales mastery. And of course, one of those will be able to create that incredible bond where people know who you are, that you're not just some person popping around here who's just kind of cramming a sale, but you're a professional who definitely cares. And if you can't meet their needs, you're not going to. You're going to get a great referral and help somebody you can help and make a great friend in the process. And if they get that and know that, that'll eliminate that first question.
The next questions they're going to have in their mind are, "Well, you know, what is this? What's in it for me?" And what has to happen for them to get persuaded is they must link in their mind or associate they're going to get what they want most in the world through this product. Let me give you an example then. If I said to you, "Would you please go jump off a cliff?" All right? What are you going to do? Well, probably, unless you're in a deep trance, you're probably saying, "Well, what are you crazy? I'm not going to do this." Why not? There's only one reason. You associate to jumping off a cliff negative consequences, pain, a form of pain like death, for example. And so, sure enough, you're not going to go for it. If I said to you, "Would you please go kiss Tom Selleck?" If you're a woman, or "Would you please go kiss some extremely attractive woman?" I don't think of any of those because I have a wife who I totally love, and, um, which is true. And the bottom line, though, is if you had some ultimate man or woman in your mind, and I said, "Would you please go kiss that person?" How many of you want to do it? Let me see your show of hands. There. Come on, raise your hand. I'll see you. Make sure you're paying attention here. Good. The bottom line is the reason you only do that is you would associate what to it? Pleasure. Now, if I said, "I want you to kiss them, and but while you're there, your spouse is right next to you watching very closely." Now you've got another association. My point is, what the meaning of what something's going to feel for you, whether it's going to mean pain or whether it's giving pleasure, will determine how you're going to behave. But here's what's interesting: Meaning is something that's learned. We've learned to link or associate certain feelings to certain situations. For example, how many of you like to have, let's say, a Mercedes-Benz? How many like to have one of those? Ah, quite a few of you. Good. So, is it amazing how I can see your hands going up? It's pretty exciting, isn't it? Seriously. Question: Why do you want a Mercedes-Benz? Why do you want one? Tell me. Think about it. And the answers I usually get are things like, "Well, um, because, you know, it's it's the best, and I'm the best, so I want the best." Or somebody will say something like, "Well, because the feeling it'll give me." Or somebody will say, "Well, because it's good transportation, right?" The reality is, people don't buy needs. When you go to buy a Mercedes, you're not buying because you need a Mercedes. Now, the truth is, if you want something bad enough, it becomes a need, doesn't it? But the point is that a person buys a Mercedes. Now, not all people want them, by the way. You didn't all raise your hands. Some people don't. They go, "What are you stupid? I wouldn't want a Mercedes. I want a Hyundai." Why? "Because, I mean, for that Mercedes, I could have 16 Hyundais, right? I mean, why would I do that? That would be stupid." Now, one person would not buy a Mercedes because they associate buying a Mercedes is wasteful, it's stupid, which are forms of words we might call painful. Does that make sense? We have different words for pain. There are different levels of pain. Pain could be physical pain, it could be humiliation, it could be a pain of frustration, it could be the pain of inconvenience. And some are more painful than others. That person likes having a Mercedes would mean, let's say, having this big payment, let's say, and that inconvenience and hassle, or be not being intelligent, be wasteful. So they're not gonna do it. They're gonna do a Hyundai because what do they want? They want a feeling of being intelligent. Okay. The person who wants a Mercedes, they got a whole different thing. They want prestige, they want knowing they're the best, they want other people to notice, they want status, let's say.
So my point is this: But in selling, we cannot just assume we know what's going to be painful for one person and pleasurable for another. The part of the process of selling, obviously, then, is finding out that person's beliefs and values, finding out what do they link to things. See, when you walk in the room and if you introduce yourself and say, "I'm a salesperson," guess what? Boom! Instantly, a lot of people have certain states they associate to salespeople that are less than pleasurable. They may associate salesperson equals pushy person who doesn't care and tries to manipulate me. And no matter who you are, immediately they get that feeling, and they want to avoid being around you. So it's not personal, right? What you got to do, though, is change what people associate in order to change their behavior. So if you're trying to market a particular product, let's say, for example, I bought recently a 750 IL BMW. And the reason I did it is, first of all, I needed a new car. No, I had a Mercedes-Benz, and, you know, I've had it for a while, and I was kind of bored with it, and, you know, the time was up on it. I had a lease on it. And I thought, "Well, I need to go get a new car." So I went to a Mercedes-Benz dealership, walked on in, looked at the car, 560 SE. The same car. There was nothing really different on it, in my opinion, for me. It just didn't feel different to me. So I didn't feel any new wants being triggered. Are you following me? There was nothing there. It's like the same car, a little bigger engine, everything else, and it's going to cost me $20,000 more. So what am I associating to this? I'm associating more pain to buying than not buying. And you might want to make a note of that: If a person does not buy, it's really simply because of this: They associate more pain to buying than not buying. And if a person does buy, it's because they associate much more pleasure to buying than not buying. Buying means pleasure, not buying means pain. That's how to get someone to buy. Buying means pain, and not buying means pleasure, is a way to make sure they do not follow through. Are you following me on these?
So here I go, and I go to the dealership, and there's no want in me. I don't have a need. I don't have a pain. I don't have a problem to solve. I already have this car. I'm already satisfied. And what I'd like you to realize is that in order to get someone to do anything, in order to motivate them, what you really got to be able to do is get them to a point where they're dissatisfied with the way things are. I mean, think about it. If somebody is overweight and they're not changing it, it's because they're not dissatisfied enough. Your job and my job in working with people is to find out what are their strong wants, show them they're not getting it, so they get dissatisfied enough, they feel a little hurt, they go, "Gosh, I really do want this. I really do want to be thin. I really do want to have something that's the best." And it becomes so strong that now they're compelled to really make a change, that is, make a purchase, that is, do something about it. See, if somebody just stays overweight, it's because no one has come in there and heard him. I believe, and I know this doesn't sound great, it may sound like, if you know me, different than how I think, but again, I think this is really the truth: Selling is the process of finding people's pain, disturbing them, stirring up their pain, making them feel the hurt, and then healing it through new sets of choices, usually in the form of your products or services. It's a hurt 'em and heal 'em business. If you doubt it, watch a commercial. Watch AT&T. That commercial, "Reach out and touch me," commercial has made them more money and been more successful than any commercial they ever did. Why does it work? Because in that commercial, they don't go, "Call your mother." They don't do that. They don't go, "I know you miss your mother. Call her." That's not what they do. What they do is they get you would associate tremendous pain to not calling her, and what pleasure to calling her. How do they do it? In a few minutes, they go in this commercial, and the first thing they do is they stab you. They have your mom there, or the representation of your mom. They're going, "Gosh, you know, I haven't talked to my son in so long, and he probably doesn't even care." Right? Hurt, hurt. You know, pain. They don't just say, "Call your mother." They like stick a knife in there and turn it, right? So you feel it real good. They want you to feel it because people do things for emotional reasons and they justify them with logic. We don't do things for logical reasons, we do them for emotional reasons. You know? So the bottom line is, they got you emotional now, and they got you having some pain. So now you're what? You're motivated. You're definitely motivated to make a change. And they show you how you can heal the wound. And how do you heal it? By picking up this piece of plastic and using a line called AT&T. And sure enough, they give you the pleasure. They make you associate pleasure to making that call. And sure enough, in some sections of the country, AT&T increased the number of long-distance calls more than 500 percent. And the reason, some sections of the country, is well, we'll talk about that when we talk about values, but certain people have certain values that that particular commercial triggers. In other words, it triggers a stronger want than other people.
The point is, that is the process. I call it the Dickens pattern, if you will. I believe that selling is a great deal of the Dickens pattern. In other words, think about it. You saw the movie or read the book, hopefully, "A Christmas Carol." What happened? We had a guy, we had a prospect here who had no need, right? He made it clear, "I don't need to have this experience of being with other people. I don't need, let's say, the product was giving. I don't need to have any of this giving stuff. Bah, humbug." So that's probably the toughest client you're going to have, isn't it? Somebody who says, "I have no need." Upfront. They don't want to hear your presentation. Stay away from me. How do you deal with that kind of person? Answer: Well, we're going to go through a detailed process, but the general answer is this: Number one, you got to find out enough about that person to find a problem that they have. You got to find a hurt. You got to find out what is something they want, but they're not getting. And they may say that there's nothing. But do you know a person alive who has a who is without something that they want that they're not getting? If you really, really probe and look. So you got to find, number one, a deep want or interest. And then, number two, you got to disturb them. And number three, you got to show them how to solve it by using your product. Think about how they did it in "A Christmas Carol." "I have no need. I don't have this thing for giving." Well, what happened is these good salesmen arrived that evening, and they showed up, and what they did is they disturbed this man, didn't they? They showed up, and what they did is they made it really real to him that not having this product called giving in his life was going to create tremendous pain in his past, that it already had in the present, right now, and in the future. Now, did they make this up? No. What they did was they asked him to go and have an experience. And we're going to show you how to do that in the selling process, how to get people to actually experience something they may not have been paying attention to. He was having pain, but he wasn't feeling it. So what these salesmen, these master salesmen, these ghosts, did is they came in and they opened the wound, and they stirred him up, they made him hurt, they disturbed him, and they got him so disturbed that he was motivated to change. And motivate. Once somebody's motivated to change, the rest is easy. All you do is offer them a choice, and they're excited, and they go for it. That's the process, as I perceive selling. And what you might want to write in your notes is this: That an undisturbed prospect will not buy. You need to make sure this person is disturbed. Now, disturbed doesn't mean negative, huh? I'll give you an example. I was telling about my 750 IL. Let me finish the story for you. I go there. What happened? I was undisturbed. Are you following me? I went there, and having this car, it's not that much of a difference. So I didn't, I didn't have a want. And the challenge that most salespeople run into is, number one, they treat everybody like they have the same wants, instead of finding out what is this person's real deep wants or interest. And everybody's got one. Everybody's got a want or interest, and they've got some aspect of it that's not being fulfilled.
Unfortunately, this also happens with my wife. We were in New York City recently, and, um, we're staying at the Plaza Hotel. And it's interesting how the environment around you can affect your wants. And sure enough, within a day or two, Becky's turning to me and she's got this hurt look on her face, and she says, "Tone," she goes, "Everybody else here has a mink coat." I go, "Everybody else?" Right? But all of a sudden, she had no desire for a mink coat. But also, we're in New York City, and she sees all these other people have it, and all of a sudden, she actually had a hurt. She had no hurt before. It's like, if you take your three children, or how many children you have, but take my three children, and I take and give them all a half glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice, and they don't normally get orange juice, let's say, they're pretty happy, aren't they? What happens, though, if the next day, I give two of them three-quarters of a glass, and one of them a full glass? Are they all happy? No. What happens immediately is two of them, instead of saying, "God, I got three-quarters of a glass. I got a quarter more than I did yesterday," they immediately think, "How come they got one and I don't?" And they feel hurt. They feel lost. This is the process that keeps the American economy going. See, I'm here to tell you, people don't buy needs, they buy wants. That's what they buy. And by the way, you go, "That's terrible. As a salesperson, I only want to sell what people really need." Their wants are needs for people. Those are the real needs. If all people ever did was buy what they needed, then we would be in a very deep depression. Because if you think about most of the purchases you make, I doubt very seriously if they're all really necessities. So let's be salespeople. Let's be persuaders by understanding that persuasion is not closing somebody. If you're having to close somebody hard at the end, it says one thing to me: You haven't motivated enough up front. You haven't created enough want.
So let's write some definitions here. One: What is persuasion? Persuasion is the process of getting your customer to clearly associate their most desired feelings or states to your product or service. So I'll say that again: Persuasion is the process of getting your customer to clearly associate their most desired feelings or states to your product or service. In other words, what we're saying here is, if we want somebody to buy, we got to get them to link to our product the feelings they want most, and we've got to make it compelling and very real for them. And the second aspect of selling is, we must get these people to associate not buying. In other words, if their association is, "If I don't buy, it's going to mean pain. I'm going to miss this opportunity. I'm going to miss out on being able to use this right now. I'm going to, someone else is going to have something I don't have." Now, you say, "This sounds very status-oriented." I've just used these because they're humorous examples. But does it also happen on other elements, things that aren't so status-oriented? Think about it. What motivates all of your purchases? What's motivated you in the past? I'd like you right now, just for a moment, to stop and think about a purchase that you've made recently. Think of something you've purchased. What made your purchase? Maybe did you buy it because it was a need, really? Or was it more because you got, you really wanted it, and then it became a need? You began to justify it as a need. What really has motivated you? See, when I think about the things that I've done, I can see that there are certainly necessities that I purchase. But the purchases that I'm actively involved in are where I've been my want has been stirred up. You know, I, I didn't know there was a want before. I recently started learning to fly helicopters. And it's one of my passions. I love it because you take the doors off, and the wind's in your hair, and just have a chance to go out and just be. And so that's nice. And I've learned to do that. But all of a sudden, I noticed I didn't own one, and that began to bother me. So sure enough, I started to look to buy this little helicopter, two-seat helicopter. But then when it looked like I was gonna have that, I noticed that other people had jet helicopters, and it really disturbed me that I didn't have one. But, you know, I couldn't justify it. Till one day, a salesman, when I was there to go fly a helicopter, said, "Hey, you know, we got this brand new helicopter in. It's the most beautiful helicopter I have ever seen. There's nothing like it anywhere." He said, "You should at least come see it." He says, "It's just around the corner." Pop in my car, so we did. And sure enough, he stirred me up enough that my want was so strong that I found a way to do it. So I want you to really think about what was a time when you really wanted something, but you didn't follow through. And I would say to you that the difference here is you had reasons to buy emotionally, but you couldn't justify it logically.
Let me give you what I think the selling process looks like then. I think it looks like this: That whether we buy or not comes down to this. If we got ourselves a little weighing device, a teeter-totter, if you will. I'm saying that what's happening all the time, we're measuring. If we're getting motivated, we're now, let's say, fairly motivated by, and we've got a lot of reasons to buy. What I call emotional reasons to buy. Is we want to get people not only emotional reasons to buy, but emotional reasons to buy now. You might want to call that Urban. This will be a little character we'll have later in some cartoons, but Urban. What I'm looking for when I want to sell someone is I want to find out what are the emotional reasons why they should buy right now. That's the first thing I'm digging for. And I will tell you, the emotional reasons to buy now is I'm looking for a want, something they want. And I'm looking for the hurt in it. I want to make sure that they feel. I want to put a boulder on their decision-making process, so they have this big giant boulder here as reasons to buy, so they're motivated. I want to get them stirred up. Now, they're weighing that against something I call, well, Dominant Reasons to Avoid Buying. We call it DRAB. Urban and DRAB here. Dominant Reasons that they avoid buying, which are usually fears. And the fear is that if I buy, it's going to mean pain. You know, it's going to mean hardship for me financially. Or if I buy, maybe it's not worth it. Or if I buy, maybe it doesn't really produce the result that was promised me. Or if I buy, what if other people judge me for buying this? And they think I'm being extravagant, or they think I'm being dumb, or they think, you know, whatever they think. But I'll be rejected because of it. Or what if I buy, but I don't really need it now? So what's happening is people have certain fears. And what's going to determine which thing they do, whether you buy or whether you not buy, is going to be based simply on one thing. If we have, let's say, a scale here, and up here is buy, down here is not buy. That's a little arrow on the end. What's going to happen is we need to make sure that we stack this side. We've got to give people enough reasons to buy. But again, the reasons need to be emotional, and they need to be their reasons, not yours. And that's the common challenge that most salespeople have. Most salespeople, we do is we try and sell what we love about our product, instead of finding out what this person would really love about a product.
Now, oftentimes, what happens is we're in a balancing act called indecision. Have you ever been there? It's like, God, you really want something, and but you got these fears, and, and what you are is you're right here in the middle. You know, you can't, they're kind of balanced out of each other. The way to handle this is twofold. The way to kick somebody over the edge, and I hope you'll remember this because this is the foundation of effective selling and closing, if somebody's on the edge, and you've got a certain amount of want, you know, and you've got a certain amount of concerns, what you've got to do is you've got to put this thing in the kilter. And the quickest way to do that is not to give people necessarily more information, but to create a little more hurt. To actually create more hurt. And what I mean by creating more hurt is ask them questions like this gentleman did with me with my 750 IL. Ask them questions that, you know, based on their beliefs and values, will kick them over the edge. See, when he said to me, "Hey, you know, you can do whatever you want to do, but from what I know about you and what you've told me, driving something you think is second best is not going to make you feel the way you want to feel. It's not worth the few hours, is it?" What he did is he made this boulder, by making it hurt, he made it heavier. And immediately started drop down. This goes up, and I bought. Does that make sense to you? The second thing, then, is if you've done a lot of that, it still isn't happening, you've got to add something else. And the something else is, you've got to add another boulder, which is the logical reasons to buy. Now called LRBIN. L-R-B-I-N. So we've got Urban, Urban, and DRAB. Now, what we're talking about here is we've got to have some logical reasons. And notice that can be a smaller boulder. This thing can be on the edge, where all you do is add a little bit of logic, and that's just enough to all of a sudden kick it over the balance point, where that person shoots up, and now they buy. And that's how I see selling happening.
So, in order for somebody to buy, in your notes, the thing they need is they need a great deal of want or hurt. And again, hurt is not negative. Stirring up the hurt is not negative. The United States of America is here because we got motivated because somebody did something that we felt hurt about. We've all heard enough that we did something about it. We didn't just sit on our tails and say, "Well, keep on doing that taxation without representation is fine with us." We got upset. We got a little disturbed. We got motivated, and it changed our behavior. We got persuaded to change by the environment itself. So make sure that you have a hold hurt in a positive way, okay? Because what you get to be your job is a healer of hurt. The hurt is always there. The AT&T commercial doesn't create the hurt for you to feel it. It's already there. You just covered it up, put a scab over it, pretend it wasn't there. And what they do is they come in and open up the scab. They can smack it. Didn't that sound juicy? But what they do is they come in there and make you feel the pain is there, and then they say, "Here's a way to get rid of the scab. Just communicate, and we'll provide a great service for you to do it. You don't have to feel alone. You don't have to feel left out." To me, that is an integrity. Some people say, "Well, that's mean. They're manipulating people." I don't agree. What they're doing is helping people to solve emotional wounds, emotional needs. And if we had no, if all our needs were the normal needs of survival, and we didn't go for wants, how dynamic would you be as a person in your desire to grow? If all you did was survive? Maybe you've been there. I've been there at one time in my life. I don't want to go back there. I want to have wants. The wants to make a difference in people's lives.