BALANCE - by Alpha Femme

[Music] [Music]

Hello gorgeous human beings of balance. This is a very exciting day. Let's have a look at who is here with us on camera. Holy pickles, Harry Potter, there's a lot of people on here. Oh my gosh, happy smiley people. This is so good. Some of you were just with me in the buyer. I'm recognizing faces. This is always good. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being here. And thank you for being on camera. For those of you that are watching us not on camera, thank you for being here. For those of you that are watching us live streaming in the group on Facebook, thank you for being here.

I am very excited about this conversation, and I feel like it's something that I haven't really brought forward in a while. And there's, there's been this huge breakthrough, and I want to share it with you. And I feel like this is, this is something I've been known to do in my, in my work. Is when something fresh and new comes in, I always have the choice. I can add it to a module of an existing program, or I can make it accessible to more people. And I always have to make that choice. You know, does this go as an added module in something, or does this stand alone? And it just felt really clear that this was one of those standalone ones. So I'm very excited to have you here with me today.

First question, I would love to ask the group: Who is here with me, and this is the first time you've ever bought something? Like, you've never actually been in anything before? Quite a few people. That is cool. Well, thank you for being here. It is a pleasure. And who here, basically, like, knows my wardrobe by heart? That's how often you're on stuff with me. Yeah, okay. Hello, I love you. Thank you for being here.

Okay, so we are going to have a very real conversation about manifestation. And we're going to have a very real conversation of the difference between the feminine energetics and the masculine energetics, and what that means for me and how I utilize it. But the most important thing that I want for you during this time together is that the way you listen is not like, "I'm coming here to learn about manifestation." That's not how I want you to listen. I want you to listen like this: "I'm a freaking genius. Most of this I already know. I want to have a conversation with someone who understands this as well, at a level that I respect, and I want to see where I stand in that, and I want to see where my beliefs fit in that, and I want to figure out what's right for me through this conversation."

What I feel sometimes gets lost in conversations like this is the value of discussing them. This isn't just about you learning about them. You may know so much already. This is not about you coming here to learn. It's about you showing up in a way that's like, "I'm coming to feed something that I'm already utilizing on a daily basis because I recognize how valuable and important this is." So I'm going to be with you for almost two hours today. This is going to be a long session. Tomorrow, you're going to have an energy work piece with Jacine, where she's going to help you really anchor this into your body. So this has really, this is going to be a really awesome transmission. It's something you'll be able to come back to often.

What I want to discuss with you is the real understanding of the value of both our masculine and our feminine energies when it comes to creating something. And so the first thing I want to bring forward is the conversation and the question. And yes, there will be a replay for today and a replay for tomorrow. Everything will be in the guide section. You'll be able to watch it replayed or live stream directly to the group, or we'll have a YouTube link for you to find. So it'll be very easy, and you have access for a year, so you'll be able to go back to it often.

So when we look at masculine and feminine energetics, there's, there's this question that often comes up. So before I even dive into this, who has heard these terms so often that they're like, "Yes, yes, I know, like, feminine, masculine energetics, I know the drill, I know exactly what that is"? Right? Okay. And are there people? Send me like a question mark if you're like, "No, I don't. I'm actually puzzled and I'd really love to know what, what the heck, 'cause I don't know." Okay. So most of us have heard about this in a certain way, not necessarily because it makes sense, not necessarily because you get it, but you've heard it. And some of you just basically have a very solid understanding of it.

So I'm going to give you what I mean when I'm talking about feminine and masculine energetics. The energy of the feminine is the receiving energy. This has nothing to do with gender, it has to do with energy. So feminine has to do with receiving, being. It's a very, it's something that you are and that you receive. You don't have to do something for it. It is what it is. It's feminine. It's the allowing, it's the receiving. The masculine is the part in you that can make things happen. It's the doing, it's the claiming, the changing, it's the pivoting. They both matter a lot. It's not about going into a fully feminine world, that's not what I believe in. But what I believe in is that the feminine is the most underutilized energy on the planet. That most of us have so much fear to trust in the unknown, that everything comes up, everything ends up being about making it happen ourselves. And for a lot of us, it's taught.

And so I know for a fact, I have a lot of women models in my life that said things like, "If you want to have something done right in life, you do it yourself. If you want it done right, you do it yourself." That is one of the most, like, feminist, you know, "We've got this, girl power" things. And in fact, that can cause that we don't actually trust, because people are going to mess it up anyway. And so it creates an expectation as a society that if you need to get something done, you've got to do it yourself. And what that means is everything is weighing on your abilities. And the thing is, the abilities that are celebrated and are accepted and that are normalized are not necessarily abilities that you may have.

And so I'm going to take myself as an example. The abilities that were applauded when I was growing up into being a woman were the abilities to finish school and graduate with flying colors and get some sort of a, you know, scholarship somewhere, or at least get a really high-paying job because of my education. That is what it looked like to be a successful person. And I didn't have it in me to be any of that. And so could I have said to myself, "Melanie, you are going to figure this out, or else you will be a worthless piece of garbage," and pushed myself to do all the things forever? Yes, I probably could have. And I could have passed, probably, if I would have made myself feel so unworthy unless I succeeded. Maybe I could have pushed myself. That's masculine. "I can do it. If I need to, I can do it." But there was a part in me, and I don't know why or how, that had an intuition or a feeling that I was not supposed to do that. And although other people had fear for me, that if I didn't do that, I would suffer somehow, I didn't have.

Have you ever had a moment like that in your life? People are urging you not to do something or to do something. You can very clearly see their fear, and you don't feel it. So you could override your intuition and do what they're telling you to do, but that would be masculine. Masculine energy in those moments. We know. We just don't know what to call it. And so this is why these discussions are important, because a lot of the things I'm going to say, you're like, "Yes, done that, felt that, know that already, do that." Yes, we are already so intuitive around manifestation and around feminine energetics. It's just we devalue them. It's as if it's second best to doing the right thing or doing the normalized thing that makes you look like you're successful.

And so even sometimes in your life, you might have an intuition to pull back around something or scale back. But the logical thing that would get you more applause would be to continue for the validation and continue for the success. But there's something telling you, "Put your foot on a break, pivot, do something different, relax, take time." And you're like, "I can't do that because if I do that, I'll have less results, or people are going to judge," or this or this. And you end up doing the thing you end up doing, instead of receiving the intuition, receiving the guidance, and making a decision based on that.

So what we want to recognize is, is it that feminine energy is magic and masculine energy will burn you out? No, it's not like that. It's a recipe. So I'll give you an example. I don't actually believe that if I had not launched Balance, that there would be hundreds of people waiting for me to start talking about this topic today. Just because I don't think that I could just manifest out of thin air all the people that are here showing up without doing anything in the masculine. There's got to be something that I do. But I also don't believe that if who I was was to constantly be doing it myself and taking matters into my own hands and pushing and pushing, that the majority of you would be here. Because there is a reason that you said, "I want to have a manifestation conversation, and I want to have it with you, Melanie," because you could buy a manifestation conversation from so many people. There are manifestation conversations being offered all over the internet. But there's something about the energy of my presence that made you feel like, "If I'm going to learn it, let's talk about it with her. Let's do it here." That's the feminine. That's the trust. It's the connection. It's the intuition. It's the yes. Because I didn't knock on your door and say, "You've got to do this." I didn't scare you into the oblivion, "If you don't understand how to master this, you will be alone forever and nothing will ever work." Like, I didn't have to do that. You just had a feeling and you were like, "Yes, that's the feminine."

So I had to do something, but then you had to do something. And I had to trust that you would do this. This is where the art gets lost. People want to do this and then also be in control of this. They want to do the thing and then they want to be in control of what other people do as well. So what is manifestation really? It's a co-creation. It is a balance between the feminine and the masculine, where you do what you've got to do and you trust that it's right and that it's enough. The first question that comes up is like, "What if it isn't enough? What if nobody does it? What if nobody buys it?" Then the thing that is missing is all in the energy of the feminine. And here's what I mean by this. If I put out an opportunity for you to come here and work with me, and I make, I put, I put the opportunity and I say, "Come, come learn this and come do that," and your feeling in your body is no. That will have a lot less to do with the fact that I made the offer or not, and a lot more to do with whether you've been watching me for a while, or how you felt the first time you saw me, or how you relate to the way I am when I speak, or you see what I mean? There will, it will have a lot more to do with your feelings, your intuition, your vibe, the what you sense, the connection, all of that feminine stuff has a lot more to do with it when you're saying yes to life in the way that I like to teach people to say yes to my offers.

And so I actually just came off a call in my buyer program where I was explaining exactly this, that I don't like to sell. I rather attract people who want to buy, and I'm the one they want to buy the thing that they were looking to buy from. So kind of like, I want to buy a car, and I'm energetically aligned to buy a car. Well, I'm going to walk into Lamborghini or Ferrari or whatever it is, and I'm going to pick the car I want from an energetic alignment. I'm not going to say, "Oh, there's a car for sale here, and I need a car. I'm buying the car," or "The salesperson was really good and they got me to buy the car." You woke up, you were like, "I have a pull to focus on something, learn something, get better at something, whatever it is." And then I show up, and your body says, "Uh-huh, yes, that's it. That's correct for me." And then we go, "That feels like I am manifesting you." To me, it feels like I'm manifesting you because I know that as long as I do what I've got to do, not just on the day that I put out the offer, but every day, that on the day that I put out an offer, the right people will come. That is the art of trust, the art of surrender, and the art of having faith. But you've got to do something in order to be able to even test that.

And so what a lot of people will do is they'll say, "Well, I don't want to take the action because if I take the action and it fails, then I'm going to end up having to work, and then the whole thing's messed up." Like, how do you trust? And so here's the difficult conversation that I want to have with you, and this requires so much emotional intelligence and emotional maturity. This is like a big deal conversation. We have got to get better at failing. That is our job. This is our next job as a world. We've got to stop trying to fix stuff before it breaks. We've got to try, we've got to stop trying to avoid failure, because when we try to avoid failure, what we're doing is we're not actually finding out what the real result was. We're coming in with a booby prize result in the masculine, and then we're actually saying to ourselves, which is a lie, that the best we could have done was this result. But that's not true, because we didn't go all in in the masculine that could have given us a really great result. We didn't do that. And we didn't go all the way in with the trust and the surrender all the way through the finish line. What we do is we go just enough until we can't handle the pain, and then we shove in a masculine energy thing right at the last minute. That's why we've got so much mediocrity, because we're not actually going in from the beginning with the trust and the faith and the alignment. We're going in with, "Okay, fine, I'm going to give this a try. I'm going to try to trust, la la la la." And then as soon as it feels like, "This probably isn't happening," we come in with a mediocre last-minute thing and we're like, "Well, I had to do something, and look, it didn't even work." And then all the things.

So why is, why is manifestation such an intricate thing? In my opinion, this is like complex. What I'm going to say, but most of the people who talked about manifestation before the internet were masters of manifestation. And they were not just people who understood the concept, they were people who had a story that represented the concept. They lived by the concept. There was a select few, they wrote the books, they did the seminars, they lived by it. There were a few, a select few who got it. And when it became mainstream, there are people who got it in their mind, but not in their bodies. And they started talking about it as if they knew it. And the problem with that is that then they had to prove that they could manifest. And as soon as you need to prove that you can manifest, you start adding masculine energy because you've got to make it work whether it was going to or not. And there's a lot of ego in this manifestation conversation. So I see so many people want to manifest, but end up in the wrong discussion where it's an ego thing. "Look at me, what I manifested." Instead of, "Listen to what I just discovered. We can manifest." There's a huge difference between, "I got it because I manifested," versus, "I manifested something, and then it made me want to study manifestation, and then I've done this over and over and over and over and over again, and I've failed over and over and over and over again, and here's what I found." This is how we become masters. We have got to understand not just how to do it, but also how to navigate when it, when it's not happening.

And there is, there is a world out there that is very much more aligned with the masculine. They're not interested in manifestation. They want facts. They're speaking facts. They want scientifically proven. They want one plus one equals two. And they're, they're going in the masculine, and they are succeeding because it's in alignment with their spirit to do what they believe in. And now, here's the, here's the breakthrough. Manifestation happens whether you like it or not. It's just the thing you manifest is the truth. So if I decide, "I am going to be one of the greatest speakers or the one of the greatest authors of all times," but I don't believe in manifestation, I'm going to do this myself because I know I can do it. And so everything I do, I do it knowing that I can do it and that I'm the one. "I don't need manifestation. I'm doing it on my own." Can you actually see that? I'll probably manifest it happening just because of the certainty. And then I'll get to say, "I don't need manifestation. I did it myself." I woke up every morning, I did the live streams, I did the things, I went to the meetings, I did the things. Yes, but every step of the way, you believed it would work. Every step of the way, you had faith in yourself. But you had faith anyway. You believed in every move that you made.

Now, I can also say, "I believe in manifestation," and I can say, "I just trust that people are going to show up." And someone will say, "Yes, but show up where? Where did you invite them all?" "I get on a live stream and I invite them." "Okay, so you did something in the masculine." "Like, yeah, but I'm not even considering it like that. I see it more like this is the, this is the thing. I just invite people and they show up." "Yes, but it's still masculine." "Well, not exactly. It feels just more like guided. It feels like I, what I want, you know? I don't make the decision. I just trust." So everything I do, "I took a bath and I made $40,000." "I was walking down the street and I bumped into my soulmate." It was all manifestation. Was it? Or did you write an email before you got into the bath? Was it? Or were you actually out of your house on the street in order to bump into your soulmate on the street? But because you believe in manifestation fully, and you believe it, it works.

So this is why there's so many contradictions in manifestation. Because some people will tell you, "You've got to be super in the feminine. The only way. That's the way for them." Someone else will tell you, "No, you've got to take action. You've got to take action. You've got to do the things because that's what worked for them." But the bottom line is that the truth is this: What you do, and you know it's going to be right, what you do with all your heart, what you do with all your spirit, what you do from a place of truth, what you do from a place of full alignment, pulls in whatever laws it needs from the universe to come true. And whatever you do, no matter how hard you work, if it's to prove something, to get something, to do it, it's a house of cards. It might come in, it might not. If it does, it might not stick because it's not coming from this definite, certain place inside of you. It's coming from a place of, "Let me try it. Let me test it. Am I worthy? Am I good enough? Am I deserving? Is this going to work for me? Probably won't. None of these stuff, none of this stuff ever works for me. I'm not lucky. I'm not aligned. I'm no, no, no."

So the biggest thing here is that we can't be teaching manifestation. We've got to be discussing manifestation. And we've got to be discussing manifestation with people who understand manifestation. It's not about learning, it's about talking about it. You have your own experiences of manifestation. You could tell me something about your life and what you manifested in your life, and I could be mind-blown by your story. But that doesn't mean you can teach me manifestation. Where the teaching lies is in the shadow, in the thing you're not noticing, in the pattern that you might be missing. And that takes insight. And that takes, but you can't teach a person to manifest. They're manifesting anyway. It's discussions that are necessary, super mature discussions that make you remember things that you knew. That's why there's so much resonance when we have these conversations. You're like, "I know this. I feel this. Yes, yes." It's not like, "Ooh, that's so weird. I don't know how to process this." It's like, "Yes, yes. Oh my gosh, yes, yes. Oh my gosh, yes, yes." That's why this stuff is so important because we've got to reclaim the power around the fact that we know exactly what to do. As soon as you think someone else is teaching you how to do this, you think you need to learn it, you're listening differently. When you're like, "I already know this. I just haven't talked about it with someone who also remembered it in a very long time." This feels correct for me. This is what I want. This feels right.

So what is one of the biggest blocks when it comes to manifestation? Is fear. And people have, you've probably heard this, right? People say, "If you're in fear, you can't manifest." So let's talk about that, because this has also been super warped, in my opinion. What this has now become is a conversation about high energy and low energy. Has anybody ever told you about that? "You've got to be high vibe in order to manifest, and if you're not high vibe, you're not going to manifest." That is like the most, that makes no sense. How can that be true? When the most powerful manifestors on the planet, that wrote all the books, manifested all the wild stuff from the worst times in their lives. They had the breakthroughs in the worst moments. So how do we translate that to, "I've got to be in the right vibe"? Not accurate.

So let's move this away. The fear is what causes the issue, not the low vibe. The fear. "I'm sad." Doesn't make me manifest bad stuff. "I'm going to be sad forever. I know it. I'm never going to get out of it. This is who I am now, forever and always. My, I will never get out of it. I'm stuck." The fear of the sadness staying forever starts to pull in weird stuff. Shame. "Oh gosh, I feel so guilty. I feel so shameful. I can't believe I messed that up." That doesn't attract more stuff. What attracts more stuff is, "Oh my gosh, what if everybody finds out? And then what are they going to say about me? And why are they?" And I'm going to tell you why I really profoundly believe that this is the truth. This is next level. But I live by this, and it changes everything for me. If there is a thing in my life that profoundly, could destroy me, could destroy me, could kill me, I wouldn't be able to recuperate. It's impossible. And I live with that fear all of my life. I will always be a fraction of who I am, because I'll always be as much as I can be without possibly creating the thing I fear the most. So I'm always going to make sure that I'm playing safe in order for the thing I fear the most to not happen to me.

Why we manifest our fears is because the minute we survive them, we have just changed our life. You don't manifest your fears as a punishment. You manifest your fears as a right of passage. So I'll give you an example. My biggest fear of my whole life was going bankrupt. That was my biggest fear of my whole life was that I would go bankrupt. And the reason I feared that is because my parents went through a bankruptcy when I was younger, and it completely changed my dad. Like, he went from being the happiest, light-hearted, go-lucky person to just this very serious, stressed, in his head person. And I felt like the bankruptcy had stolen my dad. And I was like, "This is worse than any disease. This is worse than anything." Like, I do not want this to happen to me ever. And there was so much fear around me being bankrupt. In 2013, I went bankrupt. In 2013, I started coaching. The minute I survived the fear, it was like, "Now what?" But if I had been afraid of bankruptcy all of my life, what would I have changed jobs from? The job that was paying the bills to the job that would make me a multi-millionaire? Probably not, because there would have been the fear of bankruptcy.

So why we've got to process fears in the body is, I don't actually think that it's necessary for people to hit rock bottom. And I get that question so often. "Do we need to hit rock bottom? Is that what we need?" No, we don't need to hit rock bottom. But if you're going to hit rock bottom, you might as well do something great with it. But you don't need to hit rock bottom. But there's something that I didn't know about manifestation, because I took it for granted. And I think this is a really important piece of the conversation. So you will notice in your life, there are things when you do something that are super easy and effortless for you. And then there are things that you've learned and that you've practiced and that you've figured out how to do. And as you do these two things, without realizing it, the thing you will value the most is the thing you have to learn. You'll say, "I learned this the hard way. I found this out over time. I learned about this in a book. I've learned this from a coach. I learned this, I learned this, this." You'll value this. But because you've always had this, this is the thing you'll say, "Well, yeah, but everybody has that. Everybody knows how to do that. And I had that."

I'm going to tell you what it was. Because of the way manifestation came into my life, and that I actually came to come by it, is that I did hit rock bottom and I lost everything. I rebuilt my identity. I reclaimed myself. Having lost everything, having conquered my biggest fear, so I did not carry with me anymore trauma. Somehow I had, I don't know why, I had these spiritual awakenings. I had the snowflake moment for those of you who've been in my life for a while, who know my story. I had these, like, you know, the way you'd experience a Buddhist monk to go without food in the desert? Well, like, I did that in a parking lot. I didn't eat. I didn't have food. I didn't have shelter. I didn't have anything. I was sleeping in my car in the winter. I was freezing. I had nothing to numb my pain, my fears, my thoughts. I realized now, I went through a spiritual awakening. There was no one to talk to, no one to process my feelings with, no one. I was just me in my car, in my stuff. I saw, I saw someone pass away. I feel, I feared for my life. Life, I was hungry, I was thirsty, I was, I had to face all my thoughts. The worst thing was the thoughts in my head. I had to deal with where usually I would push those down. I did not realize I was having a spiritual awakening. I just thought I was having a breakdown. I didn't realize all the things I was processing that if I had had the comfort of my home and a glass of wine and a bag of potato chips, I may not have actually thought about the things I'd been thinking about. I may not have processed the thoughts because I would have been able to just turn on the television. But I didn't do that.

So what actually needs to happen, and this is what I've come to realize, is there is something in your body that makes you feel scared. It's not even in your head. When it comes to this block, if it's in your head, mindset work works. If it's not in your head, if it's beyond that, mindset work is not enough. And what does this mean? Does it mean, "Oh gosh, mindset work's not enough. I'm really screwed up. I'm going to need someone to really help me. I'm all messed up." No, it means that you have taken this block, this fear, whatever it is, from a mind problem to an identity problem. Because this is how life works. We think things long enough that they become who we are. And in life, you're an energetic match for who you are. So when you hit rock bottom and you actually take care of the breakthrough, some people hit rock bottom and just hit rock bottom five times in a row. After that, they just keep doing the same thing. When you hit rock bottom and it actually changes you, what happens is you process all the stuff that's in your body, and you don't realize that's what you're doing. I did not realize that's what I was doing.

So as I have been teaching manifestation now for a few years, the people that have worked, that have transformed the most in my life, are the ones who had most of their limitations in their mind, or the ones that had already had a rock bottom, or the ones who had already done deep trauma work. The ones that struggled with me are the ones who the mindset work was not enough. They had never had a spiritual awakening, breakthrough, rock bottom, and they didn't realize that what the problem was is the information was stuck in their identity. It's who I believe I am to fail. It's who I believe I am to be inadequate. It's who I believe I am to be unlovable. And that's the truth for me. So I'm going to manifest that until I let it go. Does that mean I can't manifest other things? No. On a good day, you might be able to manifest those things because those are not the things you're thinking about.

So why are the feminine and the masculine so important here? Is because the masculine is the thing that will often have you come in and numb whatever is happening in the feminine. That would cleanse the issue. Failure and pain is healing because it shows you that you are lovable, even though you fail at something. It shows you that you can fail and then succeed after that. It shows that you can have pain and make it, make it stronger. And in certain parts of our life, we see this happen. Have you ever had a breakup you never thought you'd survive? And you look back in hindsight, you're like, "Thank God for that breakup, or I would just not be who I am." And so if you're not willing to go through the heartbreak of the breakup and you stay in that relationship forever, are you the person you are today? No. But you avoided the pain. We do this with everything. Our fulfillment, our mission, our power. That's the number one place we do it. "I can't let myself fail at this, so I'll hold on to this mediocre version of myself so I never have to go through the feelings."

So what is really manifestation? I want to know what my point of attraction is as the truth. That's the game. I want to know when I put it out there like, "I am ready, and I want to be the greatest version of me." I put that out there. What's mirrored back to me in that moment? Is it a test to say, "Okay, well, last time you wanted to be the greatest thing since sliced bread, one person didn't want to be your friend anymore, and you quit your entire business. Should we see if you're a little stronger now? Now, let's just play this little test. See how that goes." Every time I declare I want to do big things, bad things happen. "I must not be meant for this." No. Leaders are bridges, and bridges are tested. This was to make sure that you're capable of holding what you said you would. "I don't want to believe that I, man, why did I manifest this?" Because you said you wanted to help people. We needed to see if you were able to handle any kind of pain. You're not. The world is not an evil place, but it's going to make sure that we're, we're able to do what we've got to do. And the fact is, I can say, "I'm a leader. Come, come be with me. Come learn from me." When in fact, I can't handle failure. I can't handle breakdowns. I can't handle my own shortcomings. And the first time I make a mistake, my bridge crumbles, and you all fall with me. I didn't do any of us a service. As a matter of fact, we all lost.

So when I say to God, Mother Nature, the Universe, "I am ready for these people. I've got this." Would it only not make sense that I'm tested just a little bit first before you pass on the bridge? If I'm supposed to take us from here to there, when does it make sense that something tests the bridge before we put 10,000 people on it? Like, let's just test this. And sometimes I've been tested, and I've heard the bridge crack, and I went, "Think I just realized why this was there. Why there was resistance here. Don't think I am actually quite squeaky clean ready. There is some fear here." And if there is fear here, I will manifest it, not as a punishment, but because that's the way it works. If you are a strong, emotionally mature human being who understands the laws of the universe, and how it would make no sense for every person on the planet to just say, "I want to be a superhero," and then someone up there with a magic wand goes, "Poof! What else you want?" Like, it would not make sense. It has to be like, "Are you the one? Are you sure? Are you sure you even want this?"

So who, who in this room, because I know we've got people from all over the world, in so much different, so many different backgrounds, but who here has noticed on their social media a lot of their friends that had maybe gone into entrepreneurship, they started their own, they started their own network marketing companies, they became coaches, they started their own little Etsy shops, like whatever it is, in the last couple of years, have now decided that that is not what they're doing anymore? They can't, they can't handle it, and they've gone back to their jobs. They've made posts about, "I realize, and I can't, and I'm going back to my job." There's a lot of this. Doesn't it just make sense that at the time where those people were saying, "I'm ready," they didn't get the masses because they were going to quit anyway? There's things in your life you think you want, and when the test comes, you realize, "I don't want this." I thought I wanted it, but I don't. There are other things you're going to want, and you're going to put it out there, "I want this," and then you're going to be tested, and you're going to say, "I'm not ready. I need to study more. I need to strengthen myself more. My body, my nervous system can't take this. I'm stressed all the time. I'm anxious all the time. I'm in constant need of validation. All my childhood patterns are coming up. I'm a walking mess. I'm a disaster to my kids and to my partner. I'm preaching positive things. I've never been more of a wreck. I have got to work on myself."

And then there are also the moments where the bridge cracks, and you go, "Whoa, maybe I wasn't ready. Let me, give me a second. We're close, but we're not there yet." And then there are other times where you're tested, and you survive like a freaking phoenix, and you're like, "I knew I was ready. Bring me, bring me the dream. I'm solid now." The problem is, people say, "But I've been, why am I being tested again? I already did that. I already said I'm ready. Give me the dream." There was a test, I passed the test. I said, "Fine, give me the people." I did the whole dramatic thing. "Send me more people." Like, and now why am I being tested again? Because you want more people. I said, "I want to build a little bridge over this creek, and I want to help 10 people cross it." We tested the bridge, it worked. 10 people crossed the bridge. I said, "I love being a bridge. I'd love to be a bridge over this river and help a hundred people across." And so I built the bridge, and the universe tested it, and they said, "Okay, perfect. Yeah, 100 people pass on that bridge." And so 100 people passed on the bridge. Then I said, "I'm ready. I love this. This is my purpose. I can feel that I want to help a thousand people cross the bridge." The universe said, "Okay, perfect. Build the bridge." Okay, I built the bridge. They tested it. I heard it. I said, "Oh, okay. Where do I need to strengthen myself? Where do I need to think?" I didn't say, "Why? Why aren't the people coming?" This is what we do. We build the bridge. The universe tests the bridge. We hear it crack. We feel it crack. And then we actually ask ourselves, "Why aren't people crossing it? Why aren't I manifesting the partner?" Because you just lost your ever-loving, whatever it is, to the one person you're kind of texting in this phone app because they didn't get back to you. You think you're ready for a full-blown relationship with the person you want? No. You're still needing the validation. You need perfection. You get mad so fast. You're not ready. Your bridge is cracking. Get yourself right. We don't like that. But this is the, this is the maturity that we need in order to learn to manifest.

You are a match for something, and that match is the truth, whether you like it or not. This has nothing to do with you being good enough or not good enough. This just has to do with the strength of your bridge currently. It means nothing about whether you're good enough or not. It just has to do with whether or not you can withhold the weight of your dreams right now. If a bridge is built and there's a crack in the bridge, you need to stop using the bridge and you need to fix the bridge before you let people pass on it. It's the same thing for us. If you think about it, there's two ways to build a manifestation bridge. You either build it with your energy and your trust, or you build it brick by brick, stone by stone, you know, piece by piece, and until someone can pass on it.

So when you look at certain professions and certain things, what, where are there some things in life where it is more human forward, and sometimes it is more law of attraction forward? So let's look at this. Let's say there's an athlete that wants to be the fastest speed runner in the world. And they cannot just pray and say, "Lord, give me fast legs every night," and just stretch their legs out and rest and sleep and never work out and become the fastest runner. That's just not the way it works. They've got to get up, and they've got to train their body. They've got to choose the right foods. They've got to train and train harder. They've got to do all the things. However, in the moments where they're doing that, there's a person who has a hard time getting to their gym membership in the morning. There's a person who's been procrastinating even just walking 10 minutes a day. So there is some sort of manifestation in the strength. One day, that person is so supported that they don't even wonder if they need to train today or not. They're just, next thing they know, they're at, they're with their trainer. They don't have to battle themselves anymore for what to eat, and when they're just eating the right foods. They don't need to figure out how they're going to make it to, you know, they don't need to figure out how they're going to find a trainer to help them run. Someone's going to hear about how fast they are, and someone's going to hear about them, and someone's going to find them, and they're going to get the opportunity to get trained by the best to end up being at the Olympics. That's where the manifestation is going to occur. But it starts with me. I've got to show that I'm committed so that the manifestation can come. Meaning, when I train as hard as I would need to to win the Olympics, when I eat the way I would need to in order to win the Olympics, when I do all of that, someone that has the power to enter me into the Olympics will hear that I'm doing all the right things and will come find me. That's one way that we manifest.

The other way that we manifest is we're saying, "I want to do. There's something about my life. I don't really know what it is that I want to do, but I know that there's something." And so I'm going to work on my mind. I'm going to work on my discipline. I'm going to work on my, I'm going to work on myself. I don't really know what it is that I'm manifesting. And all of a sudden, I'm going to end up manifesting a conversation with one of the fastest runners in the world that's going to make me realize that's my calling. And then I'll start, I'll start training. But I already have the discipline to do it. Whether I do it for the result, or whether the result finds me, like, "I didn't realize I wanted this until I found..." It's still a co-creation between the human and the universe. I don't know how you found me. I don't know. So I have to have trust. I don't run ads. I don't do the whole, you know, cold traffic, DMing thing. I don't do any of that. So how are you here? I have to trust that if I do what I've got to do every day, and I lead my mind, and my heart, and my spirit, and I train myself, and I become the greatest version of me for this profession, and then my offers come from a real solid place that I will have an energetic match to who's supposed to be here, and that will be the truth. And if I feel there should have been more people there, I will not say to myself, "I need to send more emails and I should have made more posts." What I will say to myself is, "There's more power. I'm ready for a bigger bridge." But on the day that I say that, you know what's going to happen? Leaders are bridges, and bridges are tested.

So we've got to actually decide whether or not we want these things. And we sometimes don't know until the test. I have had times in my life, I thought for sure I knew for sure I wanted something until the test came, and then I really wondered if it was true. "Do I really want this? If it's hard, do I really want this? If it requires this much of me?" And there's things where I said yes, and there's things where I said no. But before the pain, I would have said.

Yes, I would have said yes, 100%. Like, let's say, for example, becoming this, this level of success where I am right now. I dreamt of this. Once we started hitting like a six-figure month, the first time I had a six-figure month, I was like, "Oh my gosh, I could be really successful!" Like, maybe one day I could be like Tony Robbins or Gabby Bernstein or something. Like, I could be successful, successful. Can you imagine? Oh my God.

Then it became this thing like, "Can you imagine if one day, like, Alpha Fem is a thing? People say, 'I am Alpha Fem.' I love Alpha Fem." People say, "Do you know Melanie?" And I don't even know who they are, but they're asking another person. And then someone else says, "Yes, of course I do." And they're like, "Oh my gosh, me too! Like, that could happen to me. It could happen." Oh my gosh, my gosh, my gosh, my gosh, my gosh. And that felt so exciting.

And I had a whole vision about what that would look like, too. I was like, "I'm going to wake up in the morning. I'm going to feel so powerful. It's going to be amazing. I'm going to drink my coffee differently." I don't know how super-rich people drink their coffee, but I'm going to drink mine like that, and it's going to feel so great. I'm going to be so happy. I'm going to shower differently. It's going to be, everything's going to be different. I'm going to have everything matching, matching towels, matching everything. All my outfits will be perfect, perfectly pressed. Life is perfect. I can see it. I can envision it. Oh my gosh, it's going to be so easy. I'm going to have a person to help me with this and this and this. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I could see it all. I could see it all. I could see it all.

Except the part where the bridge had to be tested. Where it was like, "Okay, now let's bring forward a person who didn't get what they wanted and who didn't get what they needed, and who doesn't think you deserve this, and who doesn't like your face, and who doesn't think you deserve it." And now let's add a person on top of that that feels like you're not worth it. Actually, let's add a person in there that feels like they lose the more people think you're great, and they don't think you're that great. And they think part of a great strategy for them was to be to make sure that everybody thinks you're not great. Let's add a bunch of those into your world.

The moment I was like, "Wait a minute, is this part of the package?" Because I, when I was thinking of the beautiful coffee in the morning and the showers and the la la la, there was no mean person in the background that didn't like me. That didn't exist. Well, that was maybe a little silly of me. Maybe that was a little naive of me.

Okay, so what's the real experience of being like Tony Robbins or Gabby Bernstein? The thing I said I'm ready for that. Well, it's that people misunderstand you, and people don't like it, and people don't think that's the right thing, and people don't think it's this, and people think it's this. So, do you still want it? I'm going to need a moment to contemplate that. It's not just as easy of like, "Of course I want it." It's like, "Wait, will this always be a part of it?" "Yes." "Are we sure?" "Definitely." "Actually, it'll get worse in the future." Also, "Do I still want it?"

So here's the thing: if you don't, that's okay. But thank holy spirit that you were not gifted 100, a thousand, 2,000 people that put all their time, energy, love, faith in you, and you were going to give up the first time it was hard. You don't know yet if you still want it when you find out what it really is. Most of our dreams are on a pedestal. We imagine what they'll be. We don't know what they are when we have them. We only know what it's like to want them.

This is why we get tested. Because the thing I realize more than anything now, which I wish I could just like have a conversation with every person on Earth and sit them down and tell them, "Listen to me. This is the truth of life. Listen to me. Listen to my voice. Listen to what I will tell you. This is the truth of life." Right now, there is not one thing you don't have that you think you know what it is to have it. That is what you think it is when you have it. Not one.

You're single. You think being in a relationship is going to be this, this, this. It's not. You want to have kids. You think it's going to be this, this, this. It's not. You want to own a house. You think it's going to be this, this, this. It's not. You want to travel to this place. You think it's going to be this, this, this. It's not. Nothing is what you think it is. It's a little bit of better and a little bit of worse, but it is definitely, most definitely, 100% not what you think it's going to be.

So when you want something, you want what you think it is. This is why you can't just manifest it, especially if it impacts other people. Because you don't manifest what you think it is. You manifest the truth of what it is, and you may not want the truth of what it is. So you've got to be tested if it impacts other people.

So when do we need the masculine in our lives? We need the masculine when there's no trust. You've got to have it. So I'll give you an example. You are in a relationship with your partner, and the level of trust on a 1 to 10, one being zero, 10 being, "I totally trust that this person is going to make the correct dinner reservations at the correct place on the correct, correct date at the correct time," are 0.1. And so you say to yourself, "I will make the plans for date night." Why do you do that? Because you have no trust. Because this matters to you. Because you don't want to be disappointed. Because you don't want to experience pain. Because you don't want to fight. Because you don't want to set things up for failure. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

What would feminine look like? It would look like, "Our our anniversary is coming up, and I found a place that I really love." And then you show it, and then you trust. "But Melanie, I know my partner. They will never do it. They, they will not take that hint." "Say, 'Okay, well, how do you know?'" "'I just know.'" "Have you ever let it get to the point where they failed?" "Yes, I, I, I last year they did nothing." "Okay, but had you, had you told them where you wanted to go?" "Well, I don't want to have to tell them." "Why?" "Because that's in the masculine." "No, it's not. Telling them what you want from a place of desire is just claiming what you want. Trusting that they'll do it is where the receiving happens."

How many places in your life do you not trust people? You send a link. "Can I have the link for this?" "Yes, absolutely. Here's the link." They haven't paid an hour or later. "Did you see the link?" You're going out with a friend. You're just, "Just wanting to double-check, you're still coming over." Why do we fear that? Why do, and and why do we need to double-check? What's the worst thing that's going to happen?

So one of my biggest realizations quite recently is the reason I manifest most of the things that I want is because I'm willing to fail, and I know I'm going to be fine. And I, I actually know how much pain I can handle, and it's a lot. So I don't fear it. When I fear it, when I fear it, I do something without realizing it, and it, and I have a breakthrough about it later. Every time. Today, I had the hugest breakthrough on my Matrix call with my clients. I cried my eyes out. It was beautiful. Uh, but I had this huge break, break through about a masculine energy thing. I, I put in when I was in fear, and it definitely changed things in my life. I don't want to feel this fear. I put this masculine energy thing, and I didn't even realize I'd done it. So even at our sharpest, when we live by this stuff, sometimes we can, we can let it slip.

Can't be self-deprecating and awful to ourselves. We've got to literally realize we're operating in half. Half of what we are is solid and real, and the other half makes no sense. That's, that's like the, the easiest way I can describe it. Because I can very much comprehend that this is a hand. What I can't comprehend is why it moves when I want it to. I can comprehend that I'm a human. What I can't comprehend is that there's something that could happen to me where my entire body is still there, and I can't talk or move or think or feel anymore. What's this other part? It's the part that makes no sense. It's the part that's like, without it, there's no life. You can have feet, legs, knees, arms, a belly, a face, shoulders, and not be alive. And the thing that would be the difference is something you can't see, touch, explain, bring back. It's like it just, just gone. Where was it to begin with? Where was it? Where is it? Consciousness. Where is it?

So when you think about manifestation, there is the physical part, because we're in a physical world, there has to be something you're doing. But then there's got to be just a trust in the fact that there's a bunch of things that are working that we don't, we don't consider, but they're part of the equation. And surrendering to that is part of the big picture.

When I started to realize money is as weird to understand as life. It's a piece of paper, and this color means $20, and this color means $100. Why? It doesn't mean anything, but it means everything because of an energy, because of a representation, because of a thing. So I've got to be as good, I've got to be as well-versed in my life in valuing the physical thing I see, I touch, I feel, I do, as I have to value that as much as the thing that makes no sense, that I don't understand, that hurts or feels good, but I can't, I don't know, and I can't predict it, and I can't control it, and I just don't know. And I have got to be able to value both the same. That's balance.

It's not how much you utilize each that will depend, end based on what you're manifesting. If you want to be the fastest marathon runner on the planet, you will need more of your physical body. If you want to manifest peace and love, you will need more of your energy body. But you are going to have to value things the same way, and that is difficult.

So where does this show up? It shows up in so many areas in our life that what we see is more valuable than what we don't. And I'll give you one of the biggest examples of this when it comes to manifestation. If you enter a room and no one acknowledges you, do you feel like you matter in the room? Or do you tend to think, "I don't belong here. No one notices me. No one sees me. No one talks to me." We will look at what happened at face value and we'll say, "I walked in the room. No one looked up. I don't matter." That's it. That's the physical.

What we don't know is that the people in the room were in their head about whether they belonged or not. That we looked so confident that we were unapproachable to them. That they thought we didn't think they mattered. That's all the stuff you couldn't see, you couldn't tell, you couldn't feel, and you couldn't know. But you decided what it meant.

This is how we shape our lives. Confidence is not something that you build because you're good enough or you're not good enough. Confidence is faith. "Of course I belong here. No one needs to tell me that. Of course I can make my dreams come true. No one needs to see me and tell me I'm good enough or give me permission. Of course I'll manifest the partner that I desire and that I deserve. No one needs to tell me I'm pretty enough or good enough." Or I don't need that to know that. That's the hardest thing, but that's what confidence is.

When you look at a person, you're like, "How's that person so confident?" What you really feel from them is they don't need your validation. They don't need anybody's validation. Because inside, they trust in the unseen. And why do they trust in the unseen? Because they're actually doing the masculine energy stuff, stuff that goes with it.

So let me give you an example. If I say, "I am a very confident person, and I can, I can anything I want to do, I do." Except the minute I say to myself, "I'm going to go grocery shopping this afternoon," I'm like, "Oh, I can't do it." It won't be long before my relationship with myself starts to be chipped. I'm going to go to bed at 8. 10:30 rolls around, I haven't done it. You know, I'm today I'm eating clean. It's noon. I'm having a bagel and peanut butter. It's like, that's not clean. I'm doing a juice cleanse. No alcohol for a week. It's five o'clock. I'm having a margarita. That's not working well for me. I'm going to stay positive. I, I'm going to do this. I'm going to stay positive. I'm going to stay on track. I'm going to read this book. Skip a day. Skip two days.

Our relationship with ourself and what we do with ourself towards ourself ends up shaping our confidence in the masculine. And because we stop believing in ourselves, we immediately believe other people don't. It's impossible for you to walk into a room when you've done everything you need to do and you feel at the top of your game and feel like you're not good enough. But when you know you're not doing what you've got to do, and your results aren't done properly, and you're having an issue in your relationship, and there's something up there with your kids, and you're, you're walking into the room, you already don't belong, whether people look up at you or not. And that's the issue with manifestation is that we are going to manifest what's already true.

You cannot, you cannot use manifestation to change your life. Manifestation is the changing of your life. You can't try to use it in order to change it. It's the response to the life having changed already. You start to manifest different things when your center of truth changes. As I'm more confident in myself, the results I manifest are a match for that. As I've done the work in myself, the manifestations I attract are a match for that. As I do the work with my relationships, the people I attract in my life are a match for that. As I do, I attract. As I am, I attract. As I believe, I attract. I go first. The universe responds.

The big mistake is to say, "Once I manifest this, it'll be a lot easier for me to do blah, blah, blah." And this is why so many people are watching other ones that have succeeded and said, "Well, it's easy for you because you have this." Instead of thinking, "You have this because you manifested it, because you'd already done the work, because you'd already created what was needed, and then you became a match for it."

Let's have a conversation. Let me admire what you've done. Let me look at what you've done. Let me respect what you've done from a really solid place. "If you can do what I can do, it..." instead of looking for, "Well, yeah, I would be able to do it too if I had that circumstance." This is our biggest downfall. We think if the circumstance was right, we'd be able to do right by it. But the circumstance will never look the way you thought it would.

So the energetics are the most important part to make the thing you're doing work. But you've got to do the thing before you know it'll work. That's the thing about manifestation. So that's why you need faith. Because you've got to do the thing you know you would be doing if you knew it would work, before you know it would work. That's faith. And if you knew it would work, you wouldn't need the faith, because then you just do the thing. Faith is the belief in the thing not yet seen. If the thing is seen, it doesn't need faith.

So the feminine is the faith. It's the belief. "I will manifest the friend I deserve, the client I deserve, the partner I deserve, the opportunity I deserve, the money I deserve. I will manifest that because it's who I am. It's the truth of who I am." And if that doesn't feel true to me, what are the things in my life that I know I'm not doing that are making me second-guess my worthiness? That are making me second-guess because I have standards that I am not operating with.

And this is where the masculine is important. Because you can't, we're, we are living in a world where there is a lot of stimulation, external stimulation. I'm seeing people go on the trip I want to go on, and build the business that I want to build, and having the relationship I want to have, and parent the way I want to. I'm seeing real evidence of what I want, and I don't have it. So I'm inadequate. It's like, "No, you're not. You just saw the thing you wanted. You get to have the thing you want as long as you believe you can have this."

"I have it in me to be this way. I have it in me to manifest this." But what do I need to do first for the manifestation to come? What's the bridge that's going to be tested? Am I putting myself out there to have discussions like this? Am I, am I learning a skill? Am I meditating? Am I taking care of my nervous system? Am I handling the failure? Am I seeing how far I can go? Am I testing my match? Am I seeing if I'm capable? Or am I just trying to control everything? Just trying to control everything because if there's any pain whatsoever, I don't think I'll survive this.

You can survive hard things. And if you think your dream thing only comes with good things, that's why you haven't manifested it. Because your dream things come with an entire life experience. So you've got to be able to handle not just the beauty of the dream, but the flip side. The universe already knows that you can handle the good part. That's not what you're being tested on.

"I am very good at having." "Melanie, you nailed this." "Trading." "Thank you for everything." "I'm so grateful for you." "This was so good." "Best thing ever." "I'm so glad I did it." "Thank you for everything." Blah. "I am, I am excellent at receiving." As a matter of fact, the more of that I receive, the easier it is for me to feel like I want to launch something else tomorrow. That's not what tests me.

So what are some of the things that you ask for, and when the test comes, you have seen it as a sign not to do it? That's the lie. It must be a sign not to do it. It's not a sign. It's a test. Now, people don't like this. And, and I know that I know people want to say, "God doesn't test you. The universe doesn't test you. That's not the way it works. You're deserving, and you get to have what you want." Sometimes that's true because you're a match already, and you can handle it, and it's just going to come. But if there is a possibility, if there is the slightest possibility that in you receiving the thing you've always wanted, you will experience pain, wouldn't it be best for you to know that before it comes? Before you give your entire life to something, shouldn't, shouldn't you know ahead of time you can handle whatever flip side comes with a thing you want?

"If I don't go bankrupt, sleep in the front seat of my car, feel like a piece of nothingness, and completely lose myself, I do not have the backbone to do what came next in my life to get here." And that won't be everybody's journey. That's the thing. You know, you may have struggled in your past in a way worse than I have. You may have had a really tough childhood where the universe already knows, "This one, this one's got the capacity to handle pain like it's been proven in her childhood, in their past, in their upbringing. Just give them the good stuff." That does sometimes happen. But if there's any chance that you don't have the strength yet to hold the fullness of the thing you're wanting to manifest, then you have to be tested. It's what's best for everybody.

So I look at these tests now not like a punishment. I don't see it like I'm being tested because the universe doesn't believe in me. I see it like, "I want to make sure I still want this after I understand what I have to go through." What are the, what are the things? What are the hoops? What's the, what's the hard stuff? And if I still want it after that, then I'm meant for it. It's not a bad test. It's the greatest test. It's like, "Before I give it all, I wouldn't want to give it all for you to you, and then it falls away. Let me just make sure you can hold it."

What's the point of us putting 100 people on a bridge if we haven't tested the bridge first? And for what? Because I don't trust the engineers? Oh, I don't want them to be insulted. I don't want them to feel bad. Let's not test the bridge. Uh oh, what if it didn't hold the people? So our biggest issue is if we're not ready to hold the dream yet, we need to know that before so that we can either strengthen or decide we don't want the dream.

So manifestation is about two things: the absolute choice in the thing that you want, the choosing of it, the saying, "I want this, and I will do what it takes on my part to make this happen," along with the faith that you're going to receive the exact match you're ready for. And then the wisdom to understand that if it didn't happen easily, there's things you need to strengthen, there's things you need to learn, there's things you need to do.

When I look at my, my life right now, and I look at some of the hard times that I've been through, I'm not shocked that I'm not like, best-selling author, world-renowned, times a million. I think that I am an exact, accurate representation, exactly right now, the exact, exact manifestation of what my nervous system is capable of. I know that without a shadow of a doubt. And the game right now, the fun game is, I, I've been being tested for a while now to see if I could hold them more. And I'm doing better this time with the tests than I did last time. And when I survive the rounds of testing that are happening right now, there will be a bunch of people that come and pass on that bridge. And we'll see how will I do. And if I feel like I want more, I'll stretch my nervous system more.

What does it feel like? And I'm not a trauma expert. That's not what I claim myself to be. And for the longest time, I did not talk about the body part because this was one of the things where it's like, I had it, and I discredited it because I didn't know what I was doing when I was doing it. And so I always taught everything without it because I just thought this part, everybody had it because that's what I knew to do. I figured everybody knew how to do that.

If you say something in your mind that's positive, and your body says, "Uh-uh," then you're getting, "Uh-uh." If you say, "I am manifesting $10,000 this week," and your body's like, "No, you're not," then you're not. But why does the body do that when your mind wants it? Why does the body do that? Because it cannot handle the pain of failure. It's any, any kind of trauma that's stuck in the body. A trauma is a bruise. If I smack myself and it leaves a bruise, that's a trauma. It doesn't have to be a huge gash or I'm disfigured forever. It'll literally be a bruise is a trauma.

So you've bruised the part in you that doesn't like to feel silly. You've bruised the part in you that doesn't like to be disappointed publicly. You've bruised the part in you that doesn't like to get your hopes up. And that could have come from so far away ago. That could have come from being a little kid and your parents said, "This weekend, we're going ice skating," and you were like, "Yay!" And then you waited by the window for your dad to come home, and then he came home late, and they said, "It won't be this weekend, it'll be next weekend." And it's been 30 years. And now you say to yourself, "I will never sit in the window waiting for my parents to take me skating ever again." And that trauma, that bruise, also looks like, "I will never, I will never give a link to a program or to an offer and expect the person to pay it. I will never, you know, believe when a person tries on a piece of jewelry that I'm selling and they say, 'Oh, I really like this. Let me talk to my husband.' I will never believe that they're coming back to buy it. I will never, uh, trust a buyer that walks through a house and says, 'Yes, I think we want it. Let us just figure out what our budget is.' I'll never trust that. And if it happens, I'll be happily surprised, but I will not give, I will not put myself in the place where I might be hurt again." Well, that has just limited all your possibility.

So what we've got to actually work at is the little part in us that is protecting the fear, because that limits what you can, what you can have. And if you can think about this from an external point of view, you look at someone like Gabby Bernstein, who has been in business for a really long time. You know, there's a bunch of people who say she's the greatest thing since sliced bread, and there's going to be people who say they didn't get results in her stuff. Take Simon. People will say she has the greatest voice of the history of the world. Other people will say it's like nails on a chalkboard. Can't stand the person. You look at, um, I don't know who's who's been in the media a lot. David Beckham. Some people say he's the hottest thing on television. Other people say he sounds weird and he's annoying. There will never be a full yes. Taylor Swift. People will literally mortgage their house to go to a pay to get go to a concert. And in the same breath, people say they wouldn't, they would not go if it meant saving their life. How, how do you get that kind of polarity in life?

Can you handle that? There are so many people saying, "I wish I was as successful and rich as Taylor Swift." No, you don't. You couldn't survive one day being Taylor Swift, never mind a whole life. You could not handle one day. It takes a certain kind of person to hold that. Do you even want that? And it's not bad when you don't want it. You find your ideal life. And sometimes you stretch a little bit, and in a year or two, you want more. Then you find your balance.

So what I found for me is I really enjoyed growth until I didn't. And I'm allowed to pull it back and say, "Whoa, okay, what do we want now? How, how big can I get and still enjoy my life?" Because I don't want to get so big that it costs me my enjoyment of my life. That doesn't sound like success to me. Because success without fulfillment is not success in my world. So pull it back. That's fine. Then get stronger. Okay, I feel good. Let's test. Let's test. Okay, the test is feeling good. Something that would have hurt before, didn't hurt the same way. Something that would have scared me before, didn't do the thing in my belly where I freak out. I'm doing better. My nervous system can hold this. I can hold this. This is not sending me into a state of panic and anxiety. This is making me feel like, "Whoa, I got stronger." That's a good sign. Okay, let's go for more.

This is why manifestation is so important. It will not give you the thing that's crippling you inside. It just won't. You can't sleep. You're so nervous. You're so worried. You've attached it to your identity. You feel like you're not good enough. Your ego's running the show, and it's not working. Of course it's not. Whoever is in charge of the energetics of this planet is not going to let you sabotage like this. Your only hope is to go on your own and try to make it happen on all by yourself. And you might, and you might become stronger in your belief in yourself because you hustled. Or you might burn out and tell people, "I did the whole hustle thing, and then I burned out." We don't know. We're going to find out. Isn't life fun?

So the balance between masculine and and feminine energetics is the equal valuing of what you can do and what you can believe in at the same time. That's the balance. If you only value what you can do, you won't manifest. If you only value what you can believe in, you won't manifest. Not the thing you want. If I only value doing around this thing, I won't manifest it. If I only value praying about it, I probably won't manifest it. It's when I, I'm like, "This is going to happen no matter what, because either I'm going to make it happen, or the universe will. Either I'm going to make it happen, or God will."

So what's the thing that gets us in the way? And this, I think, is one of the most important parts of this conversation, is time. People get in the in the funkiest funks around time. And the fact is, the universe doesn't operate on human time. The universe doesn't have a watch. We created time. It doesn't exist. Time. It it lands when it's right. And the mature conversation here, and the acceptance here, is, "Would I rather have something happen fast, or would I rather have something happen at the right time?" And that's not something we're always mature enough to be able to answer properly. Because you ask your 14-year-old child that, and they will probably tell you they want it now. They don't care about right timing. Right time is yesterday. They want to manifest the Xbox yesterday. That would be the right time.

But as we mature, and as we understand how important timing is over time, we can have this conversation with ourselves and say, "Actually, genuinely, I would prefer this to occur at the right time, not right now. The right timing for me, timing rather than time."

So, so what I've come to realize is that manifestation isn't attached to time. Manifestation is a timeless objective where if it serves you to happen sooner, it does. So if I say, "I want to be known for my work with women on this planet during my lifetime," that's what I want. But I only believe that's going to happen to me if by the end of this year I have 200,000 followers on Facebook or TikTok or whatever it is, and I'm viral, and this and that. That's the only way I'm going to believe that's happening for me. That's a very wobbly thing. The chances of it happening for me are like, you can already tell, just there's nothing.

But if I say, "I'm open to this only even being true after I'm gone. I surrender that I may never see the impact of my work on the planet in my living life, and I'm still going to do whatever it takes." Can you feel the solidity in that? And if I mean that, can you see what's going to start to happen for me? And if it serves me that it happens faster, if I'm supposed to see it happen, then I will. But what this shows me is I'm in, no matter what. I'm not in "as long as it validates me." I'm not in "as long as I was right." I'm not in "as long as it was easy." I'm in because it's what it's what I really desire. And the timing of it will be when it's right and it's correct for it to happen. And that will be when I can handle it. And when I can handle it will be when the bridge, the bridge is tested, and there's no crack, and I can't make it that there's something wrong about me.

Every time the bridge cracks, because this is way bigger than that. It's about being able to have people pass on a bridge that was built hundreds of years ago. That's what I'm actually aiming for. I'm aiming for the kind of, "I want to build a transatlantic bridge that people can pass on for the next thousands of years." You know what kind of life I need to have in order to create that kind of bridge? And is it possible that I'll have cracks in the foundation every step of the way? And there's going to need to be construction? And I'm going to have to go back to the, the block to engineer a better bridge? Yes. It will take the human part of me, and it will take the other part of me that I don't understand, my spirit, my soul, my consciousness. It's going to require that. And me getting out of bed, me making an offer, me speaking to you, me learning, me crafting my way, me becoming a better speaker to get my point across. All those things I will need to do. But they won't be enough on their own. I'll also need to cultivate my faith at the same time. What I do and what I believe in.

So why are feminine and masculine energetics so important? Is it, you can't make up for one with the other. They have to be balanced. You have got to value as much during this as you do this. You've got to value your faith as much as you value your, your abilities. Not one more than the other, but you might use them in different ratios depending on what you're manifesting. But that this is like saying, "Do you value sugar more than salt in a recipe where there needs to be twice as much sugar than salt?" Or is that they're both valuable and used in different quantities? It's got to be, these are both valuable in different quantities. I don't do it all myself. And sure, if the manifestation kicks in, great. And I don't, I believe. And if it doesn't work, I'll come in at the last minute. It's like, I value both of these. And I've got to be in the zone in order to really realize what what's needed. More salt, sugar, what, what spice am I adding right now in order to make this balanced?

People think balance means equal. You've got to be as much in your masculine as you are in your feminine. No, you've got to value the feminine as much as you do masculine. You've got to value them both so you can use them properly. So if you think of something in your life right now, if you were to imagine one of the things in your life where you know you go into masculine way too fast. The minute it starts to look like it's not working, either you're manifesting a dream partner, and as soon as the person's not texting you back, you're just like, "Hey, what's up?" When you feel like you haven't been asked on a date, you're like, "You want to, you want to take me out?" Whether it's in the relationships, whether it's something with your kids where it's like, you, you know you're going to text me when you get there, and they're like, "Yes," and it's been 15 minutes, and you're like, "Are you there yet?" Whether it's something in your marriage where you've asked for the your partner to do something, and it's like, "Will you take out the garbage?" "Yes." "Okay." And then next thing it's like, "Did you take it out yet?" Whether it's in your business where you send an email, and then you immediately want to know how many people opened it, and why people haven't clicked on it, and why it hasn't worked. Whether it's, you make an offer, and if someone hasn't bought within the hour, you're already prancing around your house saying that you're not good enough, and no one will ever buy your thing, and you should just quit right now.

Is it, what, where is it? And so I would love to know from one of you, whoever would share, um, where it feels like maybe there's more masculine than feminine in your life, and you tend to go right into the fail-safe, like, "Let me, let me, let me. I don't believe, and I don't trust, and so let me do it myself. Let me, let me jump in."

So Cassandra says, "Business, for sure." "Sales." Margie says, "Sales with my business and relationships." Okay. Ishka, because you said both, I'm going to have you come in because I, I want, I want us to look at the both thing. If I can unmute you. Hello. So is it Ishka? Ishka? Yeah, tuning in. Ishika. Beautiful. Thank you for being here. So let's look how this happens first in your relationships, and then in your business. So what could happen? Give us a scenario in your life where this happens in your relationship.

It happened today, actually. So, great day. Uh, we had a tough day because, um, I realized that I was, uh, my partner and I are currently in different cities. So I'm very keen to speak with him and connect with him because we live together. So doing long distance, even for a bit, is new. And so I reach out more of concern and wanting to know. And today he, you know, he took it the other way, where he was like, "Oh, give me some space." And so I didn't realize that I was be, I mean, my intention was not to be overbearing, but I realized that it can come across as that, right? So I think that was one dynamic that showed up.

So let's look at the fear. What, what would be the fear that was driving you messaging him? What's the fear? "That I haven't heard from you. Am I on? Am I still on your mind? Am I still on your mind?"

So when we think about this, this is what we want in a relationship. "I want to be on your mind. I want to know that you're thinking about me. I want to know that you're thinking about me. I want you to say, 'Baby, can't stop thinking about you.'" This is what I want to feel. "Am I still on your mind?"

So I have two choices. I believe that I'm on your mind, and I just am the most sensual, connected version of me I've ever been, and I feel so full, and the energy of that ripples into the universe, and you feel my fullness, and it makes you think of me. Or am I on your mind? Let me just find out. It's pretty easy. "Hello? Are you, are you thinking of me? Are, are you thinking of me now? Do you kind of want to hang out or something? Should we get on a call? Should we do this? Do, do you miss me? Do you miss me yet?" Because if I get the answer, the pressure in my body goes away. Yeah.

Because the crazy thing is, this is not about your mind. You can handle in your mind. "Of course he's, he loves me. Of course he's thinking of me." It's the thing in your body. The pressure, the fear. The minute you hear your partner's voice, that thing goes away. The fear goes away. The pressure goes away. Unless the answer is like, "You're overbearing," and then you're like, "Ah, oh no, I don't want to have messed anything up. I was too much. Oh my gosh." And there's a whole other thing.

So let's look at this. When you first started dating your partner, right? At the beginning, was your feeling that you were always on their mind all the time? Did you feel that? Yeah, absolutely. And what did you have to do for that? Actually, nothing. I was just being myself and and living my life, and I would receive the energy. I would, yeah, I would not, yeah, yeah. I was just enjoying my life. Yeah. And do you remember how much receiving that energy made you feel like it was easier even to not message? Was like, "I don't need to worry about anything. I trust. Like, I feel it, right?" And so did you maybe take care of yourself more than ever before at the beginning? Do you remember feeling like you would take yourself out, and you get your nails done, or maybe your hair done, or you would like have, did a lot of that, right? And did you, you often get a lot of the messages first thing in the morning when you were relaxed, or fresh out of an appointment, or while you were with friends, a little distracted? Is that when the most of the messages came in? Yeah. And and when I was having fun, and like, like also like, you know, maybe exercising and feeling really good about myself in my body as well. Uh, and like you mentioned, a lot of these things are physical. So it's not so much mental. I know mentally I should do this or not, but my body sometimes can't handle that just that tension sometimes. Yes.

So if you really think about this, in the moment where you're experiencing the tension, wondering if you're on your partner's mind, you have two choices. You go and you take care of yourself. Work out, get a shower, give yourself a blow-drying your hair, get your nails done, relax, sit, journal, light a candle. Or you go, "Am I on your mind?" This is how we do everything. There's the one where you say, "I know that I'm valuable, and I know that I'm amazing, and I know that I'm, and I'm going to treat myself that way, and I'm going to act with myself like it's the truth that I'm amazing, and that I'm worthy, and that I'm wonderful." And then as I act like that towards myself, something in the universe that I don't see and I can't explain is going to hit my partner like this across the country, and they'll go, "You know who I miss right now? Gosh, I just had a feeling of this person. Gosh, I just had a pang for this person." But they don't even have time to consider missing you while you're wondering why the phone isn't going and you're saying, "Are you thinking of me yet?"

So when the pressure in your body is coming up, the thing you do from this point is instead of texting or messaging, you go work out. You go for a walk. You do something that makes you feel feminine and happy. You go out somewhere. You do something for you. And you trust. You trust. If there's a feeling of wanting to reach out to the person you love, you reach out. But you know the difference when you're reaching out because you're reaching out, or when you're reaching out because you're testing.

So now let's look at the business. When you, when does this show up in your business? With social media, I'm, I freak out with just being seen. It's really scary. Okay, so give us a visual. What might happen? I can hold it for a few months, and I did that. But then for a few months, I need to go underground to kind of just get my energy. And I'm currently in the midst of a rebrand. Yes, but I'm scared to evolve in public. It really scares me. What could happen? I could say something wrong. I could change my mind about something later. Uh, I could, like you said, right? "I hope someone still likes my work experiences, my work, and still thinks it's great." Like, like it would be really tough for me to handle someone saying, "I hate what you did, and I spent money on you when it's not worth it." Right? That would really pain me. So this is huge. So if we're being super mature about this, like, as mature as you can be, like your most grown-up woman version of you, and we have this conversation, I say, "What are the possibilities that you can run a global successful business with that fear the way it is?" What are the chances? One?

Being not 10, being absolutely zero, like zero, but yet we don't contemplate that. That's the problem. We think, "My brand is not good enough. My product's not good enough. I didn't sell properly. I don't have the right buyers in my audience. If they are there, they'll pick someone else. They won't choose me." All of that is the lie.

The only thing that's the truth is I don't have the strength in the bridge. If I feel this way, it is unsafe, unethical, impossible to send a herd of loving, desiring human beings on this bridge that I know is cracking. But we don't want to look at that. And I don't know why. And I've contemplated that, like, why don't we want to do that? And all it is is the appearance, looking a certain way. I don't want to look like I'm afraid. I don't want to look like I'm not brave enough. I don't want to look like I can't do it. So we try to manipulate the way it looks, but it doesn't, doesn't change the result. Because the strongest frequency on Earth is the frequency of truth.

So when you think of the fear in your body, when you, if you could tell me how it feels, the fear in your body of like, you do this, you change your mind in the public eye, someone doesn't like your new stance, they don't like it. How does that feel in your body? Where do you feel it? In your heart? So when we think of like, you, a little kid at some point, and you did something, and other kids didn't like it either. You got a haircut cut. Either you, you showed up with a new backpack, or you didn't have a certain trend. Do you remember something like that happening? Actually, I did have a head that was okay. So where do you feel it in your body when you try to remember that thing? Uh, actually, my shoulders, like, kind of just closing in, a pressure of closing in.

So the pressure of closing in comes from your shoulders to the front. That's what happens when you really experience the thing. The feeling of the fear is in your chest. It's, it's like a half of it. You don't get the shoulder one, you just get the chest one. Yeah. So we don't feel the whole feeling, but we still feel a partial feeling. So you won't feel the shoulders. Tell me. Yeah. So, and also, I realize it's also my, like, sacral on my stomach. It's also there. It's, it's both. Yeah. Is that in your memory or in your fear or both? In my fear. In my fear. In your fear. So fear, it's a little lower. And your fear, it's a little lower. Okay.

So when we think about it, the pressure of being, of of going through something physically, actually, this is, this has been the case for me for so many of my clients. The pressure of going through something and actually going through it hurts less than the fear about it. Because when you go through the crappy thing, it hurts your ego, it makes you feel pressured, it makes you feel sad. But the fear makes you imagine all kinds of crazy stuff. And so by the time it hits your s, you're afraid of your sex, your money, your power. And this is where we're at right now. Whereas like, someone not liking your hair is pressure, is shame, is pain, is sadness. The fear of failure in your relationship, in your money, in your social media, that's a much more grounded. So we actually experience a more severe pain and fear than we even do in failure. This is why it changes the game when you start to accept failure. You will hurt less when you fail than you will when you fear bankruptcy. Hurt me more in my fear of it than the actual bankruptcy, I swear. This is the truth.

How many relationships did you stay in that you knew were not right for you? And they hurt so bad to be in? And you thought, "I need to leave this." It hurts every day. You were miserable. And the breakup sucked, but not nearly as bad as the relationship did. The fear hurts more than the pain, every time. So when you live a whole life in fear, you have more pain than if you actually went for things and failed. But if you're not willing to do that, how can you be a match for your desires? The universe cannot give a full experience to a person who's only willing to experience half. You become a mismatch for your manifestations. If the truth is, I can only do this if it feels good. So a really cool mantra is, "If I could, if I was able to handle my fears for this long, I can handle my failures." This takes me everywhere. If I can handle my fears, I can handle my failures. My fears are crazy. You should know the things I imagine. They're insane. Like, if I told you the things I fear, the fact that I can walk every day when I have these fears, they're insane. I can handle failure. You should know what I imagine. So much worse.

Be light-hearted with yourself and go back to the place where this is, this is your freedom that you're giving in exchange to hold this fear. And you're, you're not going to find out how great you are while you're holding on to how bad you could be. The fact is, you could be very bad. You could suck. Everyone has it in them to suck. And during your life, you will experience yourself not being good enough so many times. But not everyone gets to experience what it looks like to win. Not everyone gives themselves the permission to say, "Look, I can handle the fear of pain, so I can handle the fear of failure. So let me just fail, and let's give me the good stuff." People aren't willing to do that. Not everyone meets themselves where it's great. But all of us meet ourselves at our worst. We just don't always get the opportunity to meet ourselves at our best because we're not willing to test what failure feels like. We're too committed to Fe, we're too committed to fear. But fear is worse.

Craziest thing. Thank you so much for coming in here and sharing with me, with us. This was such a perfect example because it shows how so much of it is connected. It really truly is connected. So if the real truth is, I don't want to have pain, then what's best for me is that I live a very simple life. That's what is best for me. So it doesn't matter how much I ask and pray for greatness, if the truth is, I do not want pain, I will be happier in my life if the greatness never comes. If I say, "I want love, but I'm not willing to experience pain," then I will have less pain if the love never comes. Because I'll still have the belief it could have been perfect. When you've been in love before, you know love isn't perfect. When you're in love, you know love isn't perfect. But when you've been, you haven't been in love for a while, and it's so out of touch, and you've put it on a pedestal, you forget love freaking hurts. Love hurts more than not being in love, but it comes with beauty and passion and greatness and connection. But if you make a stance, if you tell the universe, you tell God, you tell the energetics that none of us understand, you say, "I want love, but it's a no for pain," then what you will get back is unfortunately, one doesn't come without the other. So we've got to strengthen our ability to hold both. It makes us, it actually does make us stronger. This is a full human experience. Like, we've got this.

If you can't handle the pain of your babies growing up, if you can't handle that when you see that your kids are bigger than they were a month or five years ago, it's like, ah, the pain of that is just crippling. But if you say, "Universe, I cannot experience fear. I am out for fear." Or, "I won't experience pain. I'm out for pain." Think the universe is going to give you little kids that tell you they hate you when they're five and you won't give them ice cream, and you can't breathe? No, because you can't handle it. You think, you think you're going to manifest a perfect partner when you're saying, "I want, I want a, I want love, but I cannot handle rejection." What do you think you're going to get? This robot partner that has no feelings, that gets everything right? Then no partner for you. Be single. At least you'll get to dream that it could have been perfect.

I want to have, I want to have impact and influence on the planet. Okay, great. Half of the people will hate every single thing you say. You still want it? No, I want everybody to want it. Well, then no impact and influence for you, because it doesn't work that way. So you've got to be able to accept it all. Now, this is where a lot of my, my clients struggle in this conversation, in the exceptions. So, is it because I, so, is it my fault? Is it my fault that I've never had a relationship? Is it my fault that I've never had kids? Is it my fault that I've never been successful? And the next conversation that comes with this is the conversation around responsibility. Responsibility is a very complex word. And I have, I actually have something coming up for the people who are in my E3. I know, I know a lot of you are in the, we are alpha FM membership. A lot of you are in this, actually, right now. So in We Are Alpha FM, there is a new, a new, um, master class exclusive for you guys coming called "Response Ability." Response ability, like your ability to response, to respond, but also responsibility. And we're going to dive into this so deeply because I think this is the, this is the thing that's needed on the planet in general, is for people to take responsibility. Because it's the level of responsibility you take is what basically determines the strength of your bridge. If you can't take responsibility for it, then there's no bridge. Someone has to be responsible. And it's the responsible people who make things work on this planet. The people who are very wealthy and very successful are responsible for more people than anybody else. They're responsible for everything, and they're held responsible for everything. You've got to be able to hold that level of responsibility.

What's the difference between responsibility and fault? Maturity. Maturity is the difference. We need to grow up faster. That's, that's the only thing. We, if we, if we want to see things happen in our lifetime, we need to grow up faster, mature faster. That's the only thing to collapse time around. That's what I've realized. If I look at why I've created what I have, it's because I grew up faster. I got mature faster. And I started asking different questions. And because the questions were different, the answers were different. It's not your fault that you haven't manifested a good partner, but it's your responsibility. It's not your fault you didn't do something wrong, but it's up to you if you want to change things. It's up to you if you want to learn things. It's up to you if you want to do nothing. It's up to you if you want to blame the world. It's up to you if you want to do. It's up to you. It's up to you if you decided the only way it was supposed to happen for you was like that, and if it didn't, it never will. It's your responsibility that you want something so badly and you won't let it happen because it won't happen exactly the way you thought it would. That's your responsibility. And people get so mad when they're challenged with that. And so I would like to lovingly just open up an opportunity here. If you have something in your life that you feel like, "I am, I am making you very unhappy right now in this conversation." You're like, "Melanie, I love you, I respect you, but you're really pissing me off because you're trying to make me take responsibility for something right now that is incorrect and it's not fair." Like, you can tell you're fighting with me in your spirit right now. Is there someone that's going through this right now? Message it in the comments. If you have, if it's really solid for you, not like, "Yeah, a little bit," where you're just like, "I am this close to turning this thing off." Like, "I don't like it. I don't like this at all. And I disagree." Does anyone in in this feeling right now? I'm the opposite. No, no, no, no.

Is there a difference between pain that comes from fear and not doing versus the pain that comes from the not doing? Alpha Team, can you take that question in the notes because I want to answer it in a second. Um, I was afraid of having autistic kids, and I have two autistic kids. It's my fault. But here's the, here's the beautiful thing. I would actually love to bring you up. Can you come up? Jen was afraid of having autistic kids and had two autistic kids. That's me. Okay. So Jen, let's talk about why you were afraid of having autistic kids. Why were you afraid of that? I worked at, like, a school for very difficult children and had some autistic kids in my classroom, and they were violent, they were disregulated, you name it. Um, I was terrified of what life would be like if I had autistic kids that I wouldn't be able to handle it all of that. So while pregnant with my first one, um, I was very afraid of that. Okay.

So here's what we'll never know. We'll never know if you manifested autistic children. We'll never know that. Never. But there's only two possibilities. Either life is extremely unfair, or you needed to see for sure that there was not one thing on this planet that would ever be that hard for you. Now, having two autistic children, how much more of you have you found? Oh, I would say a lot more. I've had to work on my emotional regulation a lot more than I realized. Um, there is a lot more than I can handle than I thought I could. Life is hard, um, with them, but they are the most beautiful souls I could have ever imagined. Um, yeah, so there's a lot that has come out of it that has been good. Do you feel like some of the things that you've learned in being the mom of two autistic children has given you, has made you able to do things in other areas that maybe you wouldn't have had the skills, the capacity, the the patience? Like, can you see somewhere else where this may have? Yeah, I've never actually put that together, and you just say that. Um, I'm a psychologist, and I own a counseling agency, and I have 15 therapists that work for me. And I decided to open this agency not knowing that I would be doing management. And I, I didn't realize that I would be managing people. And so I have so much more patience with my kids that it's just cluing into me now that I can now have more patience for my therapist as well. Whoa, that's incredible. Are you in a relationship currently? Yes. Yeah. And have you found that the relationship dynamics of finding that patient, that love, that understanding, ends up sometimes showcasing in the relationship? Do you find you're maybe more patient in relationships? Um, I can be sometimes. Um, it's really hard on our marriage, um, with two autistic kids. My husband had a pretty bad, um, mental health breakdown last Friday. Thankfully, he's in Kevin's group and chatted with him yesterday. Um, very thankful for that. Um, but I have never, last week, last Friday, um, I was never calmer or, um, more sure of myself and what needed to happen for me and my kids and go to work that day when my husband was having, um, a pretty big mental health crisis. So it has given me more, I don't even know what the right word is, but more understanding of what I need to do for myself and how to ground myself in those situations.

So how old were you when you knew that you were supposed to do something more on this planet? My mom has said she's known that about me for a very long time. Um, I have a big dream of T. I'm in Calgary, and I have a very big dream of changing the world of counseling. There's a lot of unhealthy counselors in this world, and I want to have a training agency where I train up strong and ethical therapists. And that's been my dream for quite a while. So if we take the beliefs that you had before your children were born about about what the main issue was with therapists and counselors, what was the problem? What, what would make them unethical? If we were to just backtrack to then, when you all, when you knew something was off, like what was it that was off? Oh, I've seen therapists that say, like, when I, I've had some pretty big mental health issues, when I've been like borderline suicidal, people have been like, "Well, I don't think I can help you." Like, "Kind of go on your way." And people texting their daughter is in session. Um, yeah, just so many of those red flags. Not keeping confidentiality. A bunch of those. So the feeling I get when I hear you is the biggest issue is they were not embodied in their profession. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good way to put it. So they did the job, but they weren't the job. Correct. Yeah, that's a very good way to put it.

So when you have a mission that is true, and the frequency of truth is the strongest frequency on the planet, and your knowing and your truth is that what is required for the world to change is the people in the positions of therapy and healing need to be embodied in their work. It needs to be so within and without, both, both are the same. Who I am and what I preach are the same. And you also had a division where you had to help children with autism. How could you have ever helped them in alignment with your mission, in alignment with your truth, in alignment with your purpose, and alignment with everything, if you weren't going to fall head over heels in love with autistic people? Yep. No, that's a very good way to look at it. So this is where, in our life, we sometimes, if we look at blame, we would look like there's a problem. We would say there's a problem. We would say, "Did I manifest my children to have something that's going to make their life complex? Did I manifest that for them?" No, you didn't manifest that for them. You manifested them. Mmm. You didn't manifest anything bad for people or hard for people. You manifested the people that were going to go through that in life, and they were going to do it with you because both of you would be better for it. Those kids were coming, no matter what. They came for you because they would make you better, and you would make them better. The thing is, it's so hard to see them suffer, right? That's the heart piece. But they were going to suffer whether they were your child or not. That's true. Yeah. Everyone suffers because everyone suffers. Even if they were the, you know, pristine checklist of health, they would have gone through some stuff. Yes. So if, if you're going to put autistic children in one home on Earth, based on everything we've just talked about, whose home should they end up in? Yours. Thank you. And the thing is, if it weren't for the fear, you probably wouldn't have manifested them. Because the fear was the knowing that it would change you. Mmm. This is what we tend to fear. That's so true. So why we want to manage our fears is because if we truly don't want a certain thing, we've got to do the work around the thing we're afraid of so we can alter it in an experience without being the experience itself. And if it can be done, it will be done. And if it can't be done, it won't be done. It'll be done the way it was meant to. This is what people want to say on say, "I don't understand why this happened to me because I was so positive and I thought for sure that I was going to have this, then that, this, that." That's not the way it works though. You don't get to just be so positive that difficult things don't happen if they're meant to happen. And you're not able to process things any other way in that way. And that's what was meant to happen. It's what will happen because that's it. Because, because why do we breathe? Because why do we talk? Because why am I me? Because why is this my brain? And that's your brain. And why am I here? And you're there? We don't know. But what's more in our benefit is to say, "I manifest the thing I most deeply desire." That is the truth. Or, "I manifest the thing that I most deeply fear." That is the truth. Because both of those are the gateway to my ascension. Yeah. Yeah. The truth is the strongest frequency on Earth. And you became everything you needed to be. And it was hard. But the alternative may have been you never would have become this person because you would have avoided all the feelings you needed to go through. But you could, because they were your kids. All the feelings of patience you needed to be the woman you are. All the feelings of integrity you needed to to get. All the pain, all the healing, all the work you needed to do to get here. You think you could have done that for people you barely liked? Yeah. You had to do it with all the love in your spirit. Like there was nothing else on Earth that could deter you from from becoming who you needed to be. And that came through your children. And now the world is better for it. So now it's remembering every step of the way as you're building your career, as you're building your identity. I have manifested everything this far. Mmm. And I will continue to manifest everything from here. And I, and I am the one. And everything works in my favor. Whether I am gifted the thing I fear most to make sure I never live my life less just to not have it happen, or whether I attract my greatest desire and I need to calibrate with the pain and the fear that comes with the bridge being tested. Either way, it's the truth that'll bring me the experience. And it's the experience that'll make me who I'm meant to be. Not the other way around. I don't have ER. I don't, I don't just wish and pray and then have the experience and then figure myself out. It's like, I'm figuring it all out. Then the experience comes. Then I grow. Then another experience comes. Yeah.

No, I would agree. Like when you talk about how truth is the highest frequency, like sometimes I, I think what I really wanted was like this picture-perfect family. Like we all look beautiful in our pictures, we all have like this beautiful, beautiful life. My kids don't even look at the camera in pictures, right? And when I really think about that, like, you know, we've all gone through our own childhood woundings and blah, blah, blah. And I just want my kids to feel safe. I just want my kids to be happy. And it doesn't matter if they have like food all over their face in their pictures, or if they look at the camera, or anything like that. And so that is my truth. What I've always wanted for my kids. I thought I wanted this perfect, like, family-looking family, I'll say, right? But that's not what I really wanted. I wanted my kids to be whoever they wanted to be.

I have a question also. I have another, another profound question for you. Did you ever have a person early in your life be someone that you thought they were, and then they changed? It turned out that's not who they were, and it caused you to question humanity in, in a certain way? Somewhat. Um, I'm a Christian, and I've gone through a lot of questioning in the last year, few years, because the church and Christianity hurt a lot of people I love. Jesus and I love God, but, um, growing up, I had this one woman who, I don't know, she was like an Auntie or something. We were 20 years apart. She was a good friend of my mom's, and she would take me out every year, just her and I, even when I was like six years old, for a birthday date to a nice restaurant. She was incredible. Um, she also is questioning Christianity. She doesn't really go to church anymore. Like, it's just, it's surprising to hear her, this strong Christian woman who's always been involved in church, question her faith as well. And then it makes me feel even more unstable, I would say. Okay. And if we look at earlier than that, is there anything? Do you remember? Did you ever have a friend that said they were your friend and then told someone they were not your friend? Like, very early childhood stuff? Someone you thought was? Is something like that? There's no specific memory that I can, that comes to my mind. Um, I was quite bullied growing up. Okay. Um, and so like friends were my friends for sometimes, and then in front of other people, they were bullying me and mean and all of that. So I saw, yeah, I experienced a lot of that. Okay.

So let's look at this for a moment. In having been bullied that way, and in having the feeling that you can't totally fully trust people because they could just turn on you, how did that impact your relationships until you had kids? If you really look at it, can you, can you see how you may have kept people at an arm's distance a little bit in, in life in general, until you had kids? Kind of expected that. Yeah, I can. Yeah, absolutely, I can. Are your children capable of not showing what they really feel? No. No, they very much show what they feel. And how much more solid are you in your belief in people now that you have your kids? I still struggle with that, I would say, but I'm more solid in my belief in emotions. Yeah. Yeah. And how does that help you in your career with your clients? Where, where do you find that has the most value? I think that has a lot of value in different areas. I think that has value in my own experience with emotions, with my, my husband's experience with emotions, with my clients, um, with my staff, like understanding their emotions that come up because they're brand new psychologists, learning, learning the ropes and all that. They have a lot of emotions. Um, so yeah, it, like my mind is just honestly expanding right now. And like, when I think about it, like from a work perspective, maybe I don't honor the emotions enough of my staff. I would say. Well, that's something to look at. That's awesome. Absolutely. Yeah.

So what often happens is through our greatest fears, we are gifted the tools that would have been locked in a different way that we don't know. If you would have been able to find them just with the hustling, because it's things you wouldn't have chosen. Like, if someone would have said, "Choose that your children are born with autism," you would have said no. If someone would have said to me, "Choose bankruptcy, sleeping out of your car, having intense trauma from seeing certain things," choose it, I would have been like, no. But also, if they would have said, "Strengthen your heart, learn to be able to go without basically every single need, be able to do this," I would have also said no. So then I would never have become who I am. There is no amount of sitting you down and brainwashing you that's going to help you see people's truth the way you see it with your kids. And so sometimes when you're dedicated to a result, and there's no other way than the way, then the way comes. And that's your responsibility, but it's not your fault. It was for you. It was for you to fulfill your entire purpose. You were the one. You were the correct one. This was meant to happen this way. Look at all the benefits it comes. This is how we take responsibility. We look at it from this point of view. So this is, this is a beautiful conversation. I want to thank you for going here with us because it would be so easy for, for Jen to say, like, "So basically, you're telling me I manifested my kids to to not be born with a full, you know, health checklist." This is what you're telling me. It would be so easy to hear that, and then I would be a villain in that moment. But instead, it's seeing like, "Let's actually look at all the ways that this did incredible things." And those kids were going to be born. Those souls were going to come. That's the thing. But with who, who was prepared? Who was ready? Who was going to make the world a better place by having them? You. It had to be. There was no other way. This is the way. And so then it's responsibility, not fault. Responsibility shows how great things are because you were a part in them. Fault is how bad things are because of your part in them. Maybe the issue is that you see the things that happened that were hard as bad things. I don't see my bankruptcy as a bad thing anymore. I see that it was my responsibility. Before, I saw it as my fault. But it's the same. It's just now I'm powerful and free, whereas before I felt guilty and ashamed. And it's my, it's my power that changes, not the story, not the outcome. My stance. And this is how you start to be able to manifest things. Because then you realize, what's the point of me being completely crippled by this fear? I might as well just go and do the thing I want to do. Worst case, I experience pain. I'm experiencing pain and the fear anyway. Let's go. Let me learn on the go. If there's a way for me to do this easier without the pain, I'm going to. And if the pain is necessary, it's coming whether I do nothing and fear it coming or not. So I might as well go live. If there's a way for me to get the lesson without the pain, it's going to come. And if there isn't, it's coming. Like, it's inevitable. But it's, it's, I can make it better. I can make it great by being who I am. That's manifestation. The hard things may need to come, or maybe not. But are you in either way? And so this is one of the, the mantras that came to me very early on in my career that I've lived by. Things may come to me effortlessly, or I may need to prove it. Either way, I'm in. I want to be the greatest coach. Well, becoming the greatest coach might come to me effortlessly, or I may need to prove it. Either way, I'm in. I want to be the most extraordinary daughter, sister. That may come to me effortlessly, or I may need to prove it. Either way, I'm in. I want to know how to become an extraordinary businesswoman. I want to change the paradigm of business for women. Well, that may come to me effortlessly, or I may need to prove it. Either way, I'm in. That manifests things in a, in the perfect timeline because that is very different than, "I want this to happen, and I want it to happen now." And if it doesn't happen now, I'm going to second-guess whether it was right for me or not. With that kind of energy, I shouldn't receive it anyway. It would be bad for everybody. The only way it makes sense is if my bridge is strong enough. No matter what, I'm in. Whether it works today, or whether I need to solidify it, I'm in to build this bridge.

Jen, thank you so much for your time and for your heart, your vulnerability. This was such an amazing conversation. So here's the, the overarching concept of the, the pull between masculine and feminine dynamics. And, and I, I want to tell you, this is another thing about manifestation. So I'm going to look at you all so I can talk to you in this call. I asked questions, and certain people responded. And based on what I asked, certain people came in and talked to me. Is it fair to say that every single person that spoke here was the right person? How could we know that though? Just trust. Every single person that came up was perfect. Everything I ended up saying was perfect. But I couldn't have controlled that. I couldn't have, I couldn't have organized that. It needed to be what it was. Now, because you guys have been the way that you are, this has opened up like a whole other dimension in my mind. And so I'm feeling like extraordinarily expanded by this conversation. We've actually gone longer than we thought because it ended up being better. How often in your life is you being in the right place and the right vibe and the right thing actually going to bring you more? But if you're thinking to yourself, "I wish it was longer than this. That's not as much as I thought. Maybe it could have been more. I wish it was more. I wish it was this." Then you end up losing. The goal is to expand. I have had offers and I have things in my life where I've done them, and I wish they could be over faster because the energy in them did not feel expansive. And there are things that I've done, and they're so in alignment that I want to go further. And who manifests that? You manifest that. I manifest that. We manifest that. It's an energy. It's a feeling. It's a vibe. And so I am, I've just had an intuition, and I'm going to do something. And this is something that I don't think I've ever done. I have a next-level conversation that's coming through for me right now. And I feel like there's people that were here with me today that got, got this conversation. Like, I've seen a lot of head noddings, a lot of messages. Like, you guys are in the vibe. If this is landing for you, and you're like, "I actually got everything I needed from $111 training today." Like, if it, it was complete here, I would be so happy. I recommend this. I think it was great. If that is the truth, then I would love if you would celebrate with me on social media. Make a post. What did you get from this? So that the world knows. And everybody who does that will get another session with me on Sunday. So I'm going to open a second group, and only the people who feel aligned. So all you do is you just, you make a post, Facebook, Instagram, you tag me. That's it. And we're going to do a second conversation. Why do I do it this way? Why, why am I not just adding it? And I'm going to tell you why. This is a breakthrough that I had today, and I'm going to share it with you, which I was not expecting to do. Through my journey in entrepreneurship, what I've always been able to trust in is that I can help people. That I've always known. But there is something I used to do in the beginning effortlessly, is that I believed that every person I helped also helped me back. For me, for you, for us. And somewhere along last year, I decided that that wasn't true for me anymore. That I can help people, but people hurt me. I made that decision. And so I made peace with that decision, as though it was part of my journey. And I said, "It's okay. I still want to help people." But I misunderstood the assignment. It wasn't supposed to be, "I don't need to receive love anymore. I'm fine. I still help people." The assignment was, "Can I still let the people who want to love me, love me?" And I missed that for about a year. And I had this breakthrough massively in my Matrix today. So I am no longer afraid to say, "If you love my work and you love me, then let's celebrate that. Let's talk about that. And let's have the second part of the conversation." If you didn't love what I did in this hour, two hours, I hope you love what Jaclyn does for you tomorrow, because she is a freaking master at what she does. But you probably won't love me more for the next hour. So it doesn't matter anyway. You don't need to say anything. You don't need to do anything. If this was not exactly what you hoped for, I doubt I'll make that better for you in the extension, because the extension is just the same, but more. So if it feels right to say, "I think this was great. I recommend this. I think this was amazing," then beautiful. And my team is going to gather all those testimonials and, uh, and we'll find all the people that did it, and we'll get you an email with a date and time for the next time on Zoom where it's just us, and you'll get lifetime access to that recording. That one will be yours. It, it will be yours. It'll be Zoom and emailed to you. So you will tag Alpha Fem either on Facebook or on Instagram. Um, the way to do it on Facebook, though, is you have to write the post and tag me because I can't, you can't put on my wall. So on Instagram, it's either in the stories or in your, in a post. And you tag me, and I'm going to find it all. Um, well, I'm going to do the next session on, I'm going to do the next session on what date? I'm going to do it on Wednesday. So you have until Wednesday. And then if you do it after that, that's fine. You'll just get the replay. The idea here is for me, for you, for us. My work has been shielded from my heart from for a while now. I realized I've tried to protect myself from the bad stuff, and instead, I just want more good stuff. Bad stuff can come as long as there's more good stuff. And I profoundly believe there's more good stuff. I believe that now. And and that's a really good feeling. So thank you for this incredible call, and thank you for everyone that was here that was on Matrix today. You changed my life. Uh, and I love you all. Um, so Jacine is going to be in here for an activation. Even if you don't make the activation live, you'll be able to watch the replay over and over and over again. These, this work, it's beautiful, and it unfolds every time you listen to it, you'll get more. The activation is tomorrow. Let me just look. It is at 12:00 PM Eastern Standard Time here. And for Wednesday, if I were to commit to a time right now on the spot, let's say, let's say 11:00 AM. 11:00 AM on the 8th. That will be when it is. Actually, actually, I'll do it on Thursday because Wednesday is a big day. I've also got the buyer and a bunch of other things. So let's actually do it. Oh, no, I'm going to stick to my intuition. The 8th at 11. That's, that's what we'll do. The 8th at 11. Okay.

So what I would love for you to work on, and if there is possible for you to do this, this is how I would like to end this session with you. Whether this is the only one we have, or whether you're in, going to be the other one with me. But this is what I want you to really contemplate. You did not need this conversation. You already knew this conversation. But having this conversation reminds you of something. If you actually take it this way, if you walk out of this and you're like, "Did I learn something?" Yes. No. That's not what this is about. This is about having discussions with people that actually get it so that you can get it more. Because it's in discussing and practicing and talking and thinking that you actually become better at the thing. I don't want to know what you learned. I want to know what you got. Did you get a breakthrough? Did you realize something? Are you going to work at something? What's your next move? What are you not doing anymore? What are you doing as of now? I want to know what your breakthrough is, not what you learned. Because you didn't learn anything. That's the crazy thing about these kinds of conversations. We all know this stuff. It's a remembering of the soul. When we remember, what are you going to do about it? Like, what did you get? What did you realize? What was the thing that went, "Oh my gosh"? Did you realize you're more ready for than ever for something? Or that you actually don't want something? What did you realize? And I want to celebrate that with you. I want to celebrate that with you because our life has changed one discussion at a time, not one learning at a time. It's not always about learning things you didn't know. Sometimes it's about discussing the things you profoundly know so you can embody them. That's what this was meant to be. So I want to thank you for your presence. Be in your life. Let yourself live. Let life come. Go through the finish line. If you're wanting to make something happen in your life and it doesn't seem like it's happening, the biggest possibil, the biggest thing is probably that you don't believe it's going to. And so you're, you're going in the masculine to try to make up for the fact that you actually don't believe it's coming. And I, I have this whole other path I want to take you through after this call. It's opened up. The people who have shared have opened up a whole other gateway. So I want to thank you for those of you who shared. Thank you for your time, your energy, your love. Have the most incredible day, and we will see each other very soon, either on the internet or for our next call on Wednesday. And I'll see you in the activation tomorrow. All right, have a beautiful day. Bye. [Music]