Transcription
If you want to finally get the narcissist under control, and I mean once and for all, get them under control, slow down the abuse and the manipulation process. You can at least extend the relationship almost indefinitely if you do exactly what I tell you.
Now understand that as soon as you shut this down, they're going to start doing that. So once you stop this, they're going to move to that. I'm going to tell you what that is and what to do about that as well. But if you want to shut them down, you want to shut that behavior down, make them back up, here's what you need to do.
First, you need to stop pretending that they're smart. They're no super mastermind. They're not complicated. They're following the same freaking playbook that they all play with. These are repetitive patterns. They keep winning because we keep thinking of them as the same level. We keep asking why? Why? Why? Why? Stop asking why.
They are not intelligent. They maybe have two master's degrees. We're not talking about that kind of intelligence. We're talking about emotional intelligence, and they're far below you. And so they don't do long-term planning. It's now, now, now. I want a reaction now.
Once you know this, you study the patterns with your partner, you'll start to realize they are winning because they're repeating the same the same actions that's not logical to us. Once you see it, you can predict it and you can shut them down. You can actually manipulate them.
But remember, once you start shutting them down at every turn, they're going to get frustrated and they're especially if they have avoidant tendencies, they're going to burn it down. They try to burn you down in the process and walk away while it's still smoking.