I Fell In Love With My Psychiatrist - Therapist Reacts (Part 2)

Hey deserving listeners. Welcome to part two in my reaction series reacting to the viral video Tik Tok series called I fell in love with my psychiatrist by someone on Tik Tok named Kendra. Let's continue watching.

Because what was happening was when I had started to see him 3 and 1/2 years before I was a nearly perfect supply source for him because what did I have? She keeps using that term supply both to her psychiatrist and her therapist. And I think what she means is narcissistic supply, which I'm not hearing any evidence that her therapist or her psychiatrist suffers from narcissistic personality disorder, but I don't know if that's what she's referring to. At the very least, she's framing it that he has needs that are being met in a nefarious way through her attention.

I had low self-esteem, boundary issues, daddy issues. So, I put him on a pedestal. I know a lot of you ladies out there can understand that with men in positions of power. And he went right to work exploiting me.

Okay, so she's using the word exploiting, but she hasn't provided any backup to that. And you know, maybe the data is out there and she's not very good at laying it out. Maybe it'll happen at some point in this series, but she hasn't demonstrated that to this point.

Right to work grooming me. Like and he.

I wonder if this was made by AI because if AI was going to make a Tik Tok video based on all the other kinds of videos of this ilk I was going to say unhinged but of this ilk on Tik Tok then this is what AI would spit out. They would definitely mention supply narcissist grooming predator breadcrumbs. She she also uses that that term. She's using all the all the technical or the common misuse. She hasn't used ga she did use gaslighting one time. You know, you know what I'm saying? The words that that the words that sound technical, I suppose some of them are technical that Tik Tok 99% of the people using them have no idea what they're talking about.

Was very successful at it. So he was in a paradox, right? Because he loved watching me get stronger because I gave him better intellectual supply. But I also threat.

Okay, intellectual supply. That's different. If that's what she's referring to, then that's just intellectual supply. Intellectual supply making him feel smarter, I guess. Okay.

The supply source. The last two videos and this video was all the same session in February of this year. The counter transference slip happened in January.

Oh, I guess I should talk about that. So she is on chat GBT with Henry who she named the chat GBT. She named him Henry. From the sound of it, Henry was giving her some of the best advice and helpful guidance that she's received. I mean, the style of therapy that the psychiatrist was providing didn't have that kind of psychoeducation element, which is fine. That's a particular approach and has its pros and cons. The chat GBT version was psychoeducational only, right? Because it's not providing therapy and so it was giving her information about transference and all stuff and she had discovered this term called transference. So she goes to her psychiatrist and says Henry told me about transference and he was I according to her in support of her knowing that and according to her he very abruptly brought up the idea of canatured it but the way it sounded is that he just brought it up as another thing to think about and he asked her about it. She said I don't know about counter transference. She said, "Well, counter transference is the other side of the coin to transference is the therapist's feelings for the client." And I could go on and on for hours and hours, days about the concept of counter transference. There are four different categories of philosophy that have evolved over 150 years in the field. It's very complicated. I have a a broad approach when it comes to counter transference, meaning that I hold that therapists are experiencing some version of counter transference at all times because we're human beings and we're going to have some feelings, you know, and some of them are innocuous, some of them are helpful, some of them are unhelpful, some of them are hidden, some of them are not. There's a lot of different things I could go into. Other people will define counter transference as only referring to vulnerabilities that therapist has that are being triggered in session by a client and have to do with past traumas in the therapist's lives and are being uh um you know un therapeutically inserted into the session creating bias or overreactivity or rejection of the client or something like that. Another definition is that counter transference is only in response to the transference. That it has nothing to do with the therapist's own traumas. It just has to do with the reactivity to the client's transference. Right? So, if a client were to treat me like I am their dad who exploited them, I might start having impulses to exploit the client. And that's uh not from my issue. You know, I don't have a tendency to exploit, but because the therapist is inducing me to feel something in response to their transference, that's counter trans. There's a lot of things I go to, but he just brought up the topic and she read into it because that's what she does. And so, she read into it as a clear indication that he was trying to communicate to her that he was in love with her and wanted to have sex with her, that kind of thing. She also talked about how she had a dream about having sex with her with her therap with her psychiatrist, which isn't unusual. Just, you know, we have dreams for various different reasons. It's hard to know why. There's various different analyses out there. They're all uh most of them are pseudocientific. You know, if you have a dream about flying, it means this. It's all nonsense. We've actually done research on this. It's actually kind of hard to research, but we've done some and there's no correlation there. Um, but dream analysis is worthy and I do it with people. But it's very exploratory and depends on just a conversation occurring. You don't just interpret things. You uh I I have a certain way of asking questions that allows the client to explore. And I can never know if the dream analysis is, you know, valid or not because you can't scientifically confirm these things. But it does often bear fruit of like, oh yeah, I guess if I think about it, the dream does kind of have this theme to me and that does reflect kind of what I'm going through right now or my dream might be trying to fulfill a wish in this way I suppose or but sometimes dreams are just dreams just kind of random firings of the brain and random encoding of memory and stuff. Anyway, it's a lot I can get into, but she had a dream about having sex with her therapist, which I would have thought she would have had many dreams about that, but you know, on average that that's not uncommon, but anyway. So, she had that dream and then she told him about the dream and he listened to her talk about the dream. According to her though, he was secretly pleased and liked the fact that she was having a stream, but there was nothing in her account that indicated that at all.

He could have said that, but he didn't. You want to know why he was uncomfortable? Because he had probably played out that fantasy so many times in his head.

So, so yeah, he was uncomfortable. She doesn't know if he was uncomfortable. She's reading into it. Uh it maybe he was it wouldn't be strange but there's different degrees of discomfort as a therapist. There's also thoughtful discomfort, right? You know, if I had a client telling me about this, I wouldn't say I would be comfortable, especially if I wasn't expecting it. With some clients, I would expect it and therefore it wouldn't trigger any discomfort in me. But yeah, I'm not going to be like, "Yay, this is exactly what I woke up today hoping would happen." because it's a mindfield, right? How do you respond? Particularly with her, right? Because she inserts thoughts and is very convinced of what she's inserting. So, you you'd have to be very very careful about how you react and it's not going to be comfortable, but being a therapist isn't always comfortable.

And there I was speaking it back to him. And it was like I had psychically downloaded one of his fantasies. I continued and I said,

"So there's another angle to this which I won't go into because of diagnosing from afar concerns, but there are personality disorders that involve magical thinking and involve a kind of childish version of seeing the world. You know, when you're two, you don't know the line between magic and reality. You don't know the line very well between fantasy and imagination and play and pretend and reality, right? And for some people who are traumatized during that time, they can retain that magical thinking and it can as adults manifest in behavior that can look like this or can look like conspiratorial mindedness like oh I know the you know the deep state and all this kind of stuff and there's a spectrum and I just thought I'd mention that it is another personality disorder but it's not one that people often talk about and I just thought I'd mention it. Again, I'm not diagnosing her. Um I I will say that I was wondering if there would be some indication of mania or of schizophrenia delusion. There's not We wouldn't know from a Tik Tok video series if someone did or did not have some disorder along those lines. So, there's that. And I'm not seeing any indication of that, but I'm not diagnosing them from afar. I say this partially just for the sake of educating the public about these sorts of things, but also if I did see that, I don't know if I would publish this reaction video. You know, I was wondering if while I was watching if I would see something be, oh, I I can't publish my reaction to this. You know, there's clearly something going on here. There's a lot of suffering and I shouldn't really publish it. I shouldn't draw more attention to this. It could be argued that I still shouldn't be drawing attention to this, but if she wasn't repeatedly, you know, if this was just one video and it was a viral sensation, but she's talking about how a lot of people are telling her, clinicians included, apparently things like, hey, you might be suffering from something or, hey, you're not providing any concrete evidence. You're only saying things that you think are in his head which are not necessarily there. So, she's had repeated opportunities to check in with herself and say, "Oh, maybe I should take these down or I should." And she's leaning into it and she doesn't seem to be suffering from any serious mental illness. Now, we can get into the weeds in terms of how do we define mental illness? You know, is a personality disorder a mental illness or not? Are people responsible for their personality disorder distortions? I'm not saying that that's a situation. It might not be. you know, she might just be particularly bad at interpreting other people or, you know, people dig in on their point of view sometimes and that doesn't mean that they have a personality disorder. So, in each of the Tik Tok videos, she seems pretty consistent in her presentation. She is well spoken. She is a professional. She's a professional coach. That's kind of another aspect about this is that she's mental health adjacent and has clients, that kind of thing. So, at this point, and I I have about 15 minutes more to watch, and maybe something will happen that will cause me to not publish this my reaction video, but I just wanted to touch on that.

Yes, we hooked up in this office and I really liked it while it was happening. He could not move or breathe. And then I told him as he was still looking very uncomfortable. Then when we were done and I left, I was distraught with sadness because in the dream, I thought, I cannot believe that he crossed boundaries in that way because his boundaries are so important to him. And then I told my psychiatrist that I woke up and thought, "Oh my god, it was just a dream. Thank God." And it was like my psychiatrist turned into a little boy and he looked at me and he said, "So you do like my boundaries." And I said, "I love your boundary."

So, she's reading into it and maybe she's accurate. But if I am going to try to read between the lines, I think it would stand a reason that she would be arguing with him about his boundaries over the years that they've been in, you know, working together because she seems very convinced of her position and she seems fairly argumentative. So, I would imagine that she was arguing with him about his boundaries cuz she said, you know, he was so, you know, following the boundaries and he was so buttoned up with his limitations and his professionalism, you know, he was. So piecing all that together and then also hearing her account of this, I think he might be in that moment saying, "Oh, so you woke up and you were glad that it was just a dream because in real life I didn't violate that of that boundary and you actually are you saying you actually like the boundaries that I put up?" I'm interpreting that as him pointing at a lot of her communication prior being unhappy with his boundaries. Right. But who knows?

I hate your boundaries, but I love them more. There's the push and pull.

Yeah. I I I'm resisting going down certain roads for the sake of not having this video be too long and also for not diagnosing from afar. But yeah, what she's describing is a very classic case in which a client has relational traumas that are affecting the therapeutic relationship and intensifying it in a way that actually does facilitate healing and and help and transformation and therapy, but does provide a minefield and a complication in the push and the pull and issues. You know, that's the phrase that we use. And that ambivalence about the boundaries of I need you to not exploit me. You know, the client inside is I need you to be safe. I need you to be stable. I need you to be consistent. I need that cuz if you're not that, then you're just like everyone else. And I'm I can't trust you. I need you to be like the parent that I never had. But I also need you to be closer to me because I'm I'm dying for someone to be close to me that I can trust. And you seem like that person. And I need you all the time the way a 2-year-old needs their parent all the time. So I need you to cross the boundary, but I need you to be consistent. I need you to violate your boundaries, but I need you to not exploit me. That's the minefield of this relationship. And it's it's a completely normal, well understood. We have known about this push and pull for over a hundred years. It's been described in the psychoanalytic literature years and years decades ago, early 20th century. You could argue even in the late 19th century. This is well understood. It's one of the things that we understand in psychonamic psychoanalytic personality development and the way it plays out transference counter transfers. It's well understood. It's not new. It sucks. doesn't make it easier for the client and it can make it hard for the therapist. But by going through it and having the corrective experience and have it handled well by a well-trained therapist that knows what they're doing, the client can actually have that need met finally through the corrective experience over time in long-term therapy and be able to graduate from therapy and be able to trust others, trust themselves, that kind of thing. the trauma bond because once again he used.

Traumab bond that's another word that tick tockers will misuse or people on the internet you know on the scale of things it's not a horrible thing to misuse but trauma bond is Stockholm syndrome but she's using it in the colloquial way which is to bond over trauma.

His boundaries as protection while exploiting me so I told him about what happens when I ovulate and my desires and he listened cuz of course he did. And then I decided that it seemed like enough time had gone by and I put my shoes on and started heading to the door and he met me at the door which he does not usually do. He didn't ever do that. He just let me leave.

Some people might be wondering if it's unethical for him to entertain conversations of a sexual explicit nature. And there are situations in which a therapist will, you know, vicariously or will get their rocks off, so to speak, by allowing a client to go into that kind of material or to inquire for details because they're a voyer into the sex life of a client. That does happen, unfortunately. But on its face, it's completely normal for a therapist to allow a client to talk about whatever they want to talk about. And if they want to talk about ovulating and that's what's important to them and that's what they want to talk about even if the therapist thought well I don't think this is exactly relevant to therapy but it would harm the relationship too much for me to shut this down and say I don't think this is appropriate or to judge it or to divert or something. Plus, this psychiatrist from the sound of it has the style of therapy which is completely legitimate of being a sounding board, being a blank slate, being a listener, being a nondirective, non-confrontational sort of safe place to have someone free associate and explore and um get into things. So, it would be unusual for a therapist like that to change the subject if a client were to be explicit about their sex lives. The way she's framing it is that he's exploiting her secretly by getting his rocks off by having her describe it. But she hasn't even said anything along the lines of that he encouraged her to say it. She always says, "I started talking about it and he let me." That kind of thing. And we stood at the door and I was like, "Will you get the door?" And he scrambled. He was like, "Oh, sure." So he went and got the door and then he followed me down the hallway to the foyer and watched.

So this is also very common for certain kinds of clients. I don't know if this applies to her that they will because of their obsession, because they are in love with their therapist, because they're highly highly focused on their therapists for understandable reasons because they didn't get their needs met growing up that they will read into things. They will look for signs because, you know, they're desperate. They want love and attention and warmth and intimacy. And you know, this person, this therapist is the one person that they can trust in their entire life. And they're focused on them in the way a child would be to a parent. Right? When you have an 18-month-old child, you know, if you've had a young child, how focused they are on you, how much they need you, how much attention they want from you. Well, for people that haven't had their needs met in that way, they retain that mode, if you will.

Me exit. And he asked me, he said, "See you next month. See you next month." He hadn't ever asked me that before. And I looked at him and I said, "Maybe." And I walked out the door.

Okay. So, I don't know, but if I was to take a guess, I would say that it was an intense experience for her to disclose that dream in which she had sex with her psychiatrist. That's a it'd be an intense experience for anyone, right? And when she disclosed that, in all likelihood, she wanted some kind of attention from him, some kind of indication that he was moved by it, maybe even reciprocated or enjoyed it or something, but he didn't. And so she had to look for signs that she could in a conspiratorial-minded way find evidence that he did secretly want it. And so it's there's a good possibility that in all of their in-person sessions which are once a month for a half an hour that there were various different ways in which he would say goodbye whether he would follow them into the foyer or uh you know given the circumstances you know maybe previously he needed to take notes or he didn't have the time to do that or whatever and this time for whatever reason he walked her out. Maybe even he felt like, well, that was a big disclosure and I want to show her that I care and I'll walk her out. You know, maybe even subconsciously he did that. Who knows? But she's again reading into it. Is it possible that he was secretly communicating or indicating that he was in love with her? Yeah, but there's no evidence of that. It's also possible that he was secretly I don't know from another planet that but there's you know we can make up all sorts of stories and look for conspiracy evidence to point in that direction but without any kind of concrete evidence and like I said in the beginning when you have therapists that violate boundaries that do exploit that do predate on their clients it's obvious. I reviewed a case in which I think it was I can't remember his name Maurice Hawker I think I did a whole episode on it. He would physically assault his clients. He would hold them down in session. He injured this one woman. Now I don't know if it was a sexual thing but you know when when a therapist breaks uh you know the code when they exploit their clients or another case in which the therapist had sex or asked to have sex or started to date the client you know there are obvious indicators we've heard not only none of that but only professional boundaries that he has upheld.

And I saw that man had let us go 15 minutes over session and that is when you know the special treatment started, the longer sessions, he usually gave me an extra 5 minutes. But yeah.

This is why the frame of therapy is so important for clients like this because they will read into it one and two, when you do pull back, they will be very, very hurt because they're like, "What did I do wrong this time that you don't give me an extra 15 minutes?" This is why the frame of therapy is so important. And I learned that the hard way early on in my career and have trained my trainees along those lines. It's hard though, you know, cuz you lose track of time or therapy doesn't wrap up neatly and you feel bad as a therapist and so you go over. Now, some therapists can manage that, okay? And sometimes I'll go over by 5 minutes here and there, but it's very important that when in doubt, you follow the frame and you do a lot of things to make sure that you can wrap up in the time just exactly for this reason.

That are going to hear it. The ethical providers, the other survivors. Let's talk about my former client who's getting a lot of traction. I wouldn't know because she blocked me. This one is especially hard for me because she's someone that I also considered a friend. My only client that I've ever had that was my friend first. And so.

Okay. So, uh, she had a CL. Now, coaches don't have any ethical codes. They don't have any formal training or some of them do have formal training, but they usually don't. So, a life coach is, you know, anyone a 10-year-old can be a life coach, literally. So, what she's saying is that this was a friend who became a client and now that client is blocked her and maybe talking [ __ ] about her or something. I don't know.

Her betrayal is extra stingy. It's okay if she wasn't happy with my coaching services. I have plenty of clients that have finished 12 weeks with me and then resigned for more coaching. And the way that I left it with this client/friend who's on here spreading what she wants to spread um was she told me that she was going to leave me a positive review, film a testimonial video for me, and she seemed really happy. So if she wasn't happy, that's on her to tell me what she wasn't happy about so we could make that right.

Uh irony, right? Uh yeah. Yeah. Well, comes around goes around, I guess.

And if she wants to say that I scammed her, that's okay. Um if she wants to say that I forced her to stay on the phone while she made her first payment, okay. Um, her card got to.

This is why I This is one of the reasons why I hate Tik Tok is because there's a lot of encouragement and a culture of people calling people out, right? I don't know, but it sounds like a different Tik Tok person posted videos talking [ __ ] about her. It's just a guess. She hasn't said that specifically, but I'm trying to read between the lines. You know, of course, YouTube does this, all social media does this, but when I'm perusing Tik Tok, which is pretty rare, the algorithm will send me more of this kind of stuff. I try to uh move past it or downvote it because then the algorithm will not show me that kind of stuff, but it's just impossible because there's just so much stuff and the al anyway. So, it's just one of the reasons why I hate TikTok because instead of actually just dealing with it and going directly to the person or handling it in a responsible way, you know, maybe going to a licensing board, maybe uh talking with your therapist, talking with your friends, instantly it's let's go on TikTok and just yammer and talk [ __ ] about whoever we want to talk [ __ ] about. And I just think it's it now are there responsible usages of it? For sure. But so often, you know, I I don't know if I'm just reviewing the bad cases, but so often the call out culture on TikTok at the very least is cringe and at worst is just flatout lying, is is flatout defamation. An equal problem is the fact that, you know, there's an audience for this, right? If people saw people say stuff like this and were like, "Well, I don't know. You know, I wasn't there. Can't really tell. I'm not going to engage. I'm not going to comment. I'm not going to like. I'm not going to follow. I'll just move on. Then this stuff wouldn't happen. So, it's a system. You have the person that provides it and you have the massive audience that says, "Ooh, you know, you know, now some people are tuning in because they're hate watching or they're watching a train wreck. They know something bad is happening and they're just like, you know, let me get my popcorn." But from the sound of it and I would imagine it true that most people are watching because they are going along with her story at least to some extent.

Declined and she seemed really flustered. So I said I'll wait with you no problem and yeah she was really apologetic. I'm like no it's totally fine.

Okay. So I watched the rest of it and there wasn't anything particularly reaction worthy. It was just more of her talking about it and saying that there are clinicians that are DMing her saying that they believe her and they support her and a lot of people that have been exploited and harmed by their therapists who are supporting her. And I want to say again that there are a lot of people out there who have been exploited by their therapists and harmed. So that does happen and probably there's not enough talk about it. So if someone comes along and has a dubious story, well, at least it's a story that you can latch on to and feel validated to some extent. So I think there's that. But I'm guessing that most people or I don't know. I haven't looked at what the reaction is, but I would like to think that people watching this series would at least be skeptical of her claim because in the several videos that she posted, I think there were over 20. At no point did she ever indicate him having done anything. She talked about how he lacked eye contact this one time or he looked uncomfortable to her or he seemed like he was pleased in this one moment. At no point I kept thinking at some point in this video she's going to say and then he asked me out on a date or then he touched my knee or he kissed me or something. You know cuz that does happen unfortunately but there was nothing like that. If anything, she is talking about one of the most buttoned up ethical clinicians that probably exists. You know, I mean, I would like to think that most therapists would have generally this boundary and this ethical professionalism. I get so many of the stories of therapists that do violate boundaries that I'm always wincing whenever I hear these kinds of stories start. And I was wincing the whole time and nothing ever happened. So, okay. So, what's the final word? Well, I I can't know what's really happening with her. All I can say is that her claims are not convincing. She does not provide any data. And I will commend her for not making up data, right? Uh at some point, cuz she was releasing these videos and she was getting a lot of attacks, which is not okay to attack her. It's not okay to bully her. I I don't even know if it makes much sense to even comment back at her and directly and say I think you're in the wrong you know I just don't know what the right thing to do there is when you're interacting with people especially in crowd dynamics like this but it sounds like she was being attacked and she cut off she turned off her comments on her on her videos so she was getting DMs or something anyway but it you know at some point there was an incentive for her to to invent something, right? To say, "Well, okay, you want concrete? Well, I'll give it to you." You know, he actually touched me this one time or he asked me out and I have receipts. You know, people will do that. Or they'll allude to something. They'll be like, "Well, something happened, but I can't say cuz I I'm worried about being sued and so you're just going to have to trust me." People do that on TikTok all the time. I've actually reviewed some of those videos. like there was someone that was talking [ __ ] about someone on Love is Blind and I was looking watching the video and I'm like waiting for that concrete piece of evidence, you know, from this Tik Tocker, this influencer and it never came. But she kept saying, "Well, you know, things happen. You're just going to have to believe me." And that just f, you know, if something happened then, okay, and I would stand by someone not knowing exactly what to say. But I I think there's a lot of evidence pointing in the direction a lot of these people, they don't have anything and they're doing it for attention or they or they're massively distorted. And the other thing I'll say is there is nothing wrong with someone falling in love with their psychiatrist. That's normal. It's not super common, but it's common enough. We've understood it for a long time. There's nothing wrong. So nothing if she fell in love with her psychiatrist, there's nothing wrong with that at all. If anything, it just indicates that she was opening herself up to the therapeutic relationship in a way that might have helped. There's also nothing wrong with being obsessive people. I think some people are calling her like a stalker or something. There's no indication of that. There's no indication that she showed up at his house. That'll happen sometimes. She was having feelings and that's all normal. It's okay. There's no stigma about it. It's nothing shameful. How do you have control over your heart? You don't. So, she had those feelings and as a client, she's she has the freedom to explore that and to, you know, dive into it and encourage it, it's fine. As long as she doesn't committed any crime or harm him in any way, which I didn't hear anything other than posting everything on TikTok, calling him a groomer, predator multiple times, he exploited her, you know, all those terms. uh which is not okay to to say, you know, if if she posted Tik Tok videos saying that she was confused or she wondered if he had secret feelings for her and she didn't really know. Uh but she didn't. She came right out of the gate called him a predator or a groomer and said, "I'm going to tell my story." And before, you know, the full series was out, people probably assumed that something bad happened. she just was getting to it, but she it never happened. And and so it's just not okay. I don't care, you know, I if you have a personality disorder and you have trauma, you know, most people who have this experience, of which I've had many clients, and I've worked with many therapists who have had clients like this, they don't go on TikTok and they don't accuse their therapists of being a predator and a narcissist. I don't know if she said narcissist, which is actually kind of surprising, but it's one thing to go through it. It's another thing to publicly accuse someone of something. Do people have freedom of speech to blog? Yeah. But I don't know. I just feel like in today's world there have there at the very least audiences have to be skeptical and we have to as an audience have a way of going uh I don't know unless I hear some data and I can feel assured that something actually happened I'm just going to reserve judgment until I hear otherwise. And I think if 99.99% of the audience did that I think it would be a different story. I don't think it would have gone viral. I think it just would have been like, "Oh, okay. Well, someone's blogging and I'll pay attention, but I'm I'm not going to know either way until I get more of her story or something." You know what I mean? So, it's not only an indictment on Tik Tockers who do this kind of thing or people who accuse, but also on the audience, right?

Final word is interesting situation and I think this will be kind of like a a tent pole or a totem for us to refer to as things you know there there seems to be like these moments and of course you know Tik Tok and social media have been around for a long time and other people have done things like this but not to be this viral to the point where a lot of people are being you know exposed to this and and learning about it at least the tagline you know and 5 years from now we'll will see other examples or oh remember that remember Kendra you know that whole thing and the other thing is that there's a pretty good chance that she's suffering a lot right and I feel bad for that tr you know I there's a reason why I specialize in people with personality disorders I'm not saying she has one I have no idea honestly I there's I'm not I'm not being koi about that um when I diagnose someone with personality disorder I usually wait months before I actually will confidently uh apply that label to them officially in in the records, you know. So, I can't tell from a Tik Tok video series, but these individuals who, you know, the people who typically fall in love and have intense transference towards their therapist. Typically, they have personality disorders as a result of severe relational trauma growing up. And these individuals are suffering and they're desperate and it's horrible. It it's a constant feeling of abandonment and being alone and being worthless and desperation. It's it's it's a very tough emotional life for these individuals and as a symptom of that they will fall in love with their therapist sometimes or at least have very very intense feelings and transference towards their therapists and and maybe even some of them will go to TikTok if they're oriented that way and we'll talk about it. And I have the utmost sympathy and empathy for people like this. I chose to specialize in these kinds of clients because they deserve so much love, so much of our attention, so much of our care, so much leeway. And I have made it my life's mission to help people like this. I've made it my life's mission to educate other therapists and supervise them and guide them on how to help clients like this. I've uh you know with all my supervises they eventually have a client like this and there's this crucible there's this um pivot point where they always question do I want to work with clients like this because this is not what I thought it was going to be like it is hard. my entire soul and mind and body and spirit is like on trial every second of every session with this client with these kinds of clients and I don't know if I can handle it and I will work really hard to support my supervises to give them the education and the guidance and the mentorship so that they can get through that so that they actually can go on to help people like this in the future because if we don't help people like this then the these people are truly lost. And we uh need more therapists that specialize in this and know how to work with clients like this cuz often these sorts of clients will blow out of therapy because the therapist doesn't know what they're doing. It sounds like this psychiatrist did know what they were doing but uh a lot of therapists don't. they will refer out or at the drop of a hat, oh my clients love, I'm going to refer them out. And if that's your policy, that's fine. But you have to screen clients in advance so that you don't engage with a client and then terminate with them because it's hard. So you have to be extremely limited in the terms of clients you work with because it's hard to detect these clients upfront anyway. So, I'm very passionate about that because these individuals are suffering. They did not deserve to be treated the way that they were treated growing up. They have ongoing minute-by-minute trauma reactivity that's happening on a constant basis. And it sucks. And there is a therapy out there that can drastically reduce that suffering. And it's long-term therapy and it's hard work for everyone concerned. But I consider it to be my calling, the reason why I'm here. U at least one of them anyway. And uh if you know she has that kind of suffering or other people like that, I have so much love and so much affection, so much um sympathy and empathy for these people. I I just I just do. And uh if she's one of those individuals, then I feel that way towards her. And and I also would totally understand why someone would, I guess, blog or, you know, publicly post about this because it's all consuming. Again, the problem is the audience. You know, if the audience knew everything that I know, I think they would look at a video like this and go like, "Huh? Hm. Maybe it's this, maybe it's that." Well, let's let's not engage. Let's not upvote her or down vote yet. Let's not attack her. Let's not dox him. you know that that's an important piece of this is that people will go after her and say like why did you do this and I don't know you know I I would it's not going to happen but I it would be nice to live in a world where someone could post something like this and audiences would just reserve judgment at the very very least they wouldn't attack him and certainly wouldn't attack her and just be like oh okay sounds like she's going through something maybe I'll just comment and say like hey you know I I hope things turn out or if he did exploit you that's not okay, you know, I hope you're doing better now or something like that, you know, and that just doesn't happen. So, I think that's part of the pro, you know, that that's like uh the main problem. Some would say, well, she knows that something like this could happen, so she shouldn't have put this out there for doxing and other kind. I didn't go into it, but she actually talks about how, and good on her for attacking people who were doxing him, but she was saying that people found pictures of him and his family and were posting that kind of stuff. I mean, what the [ __ ] I mean, the the kind of [ __ ] has to stop and I don't know what to do about it. I I feel like there should be a legal recourse. You know, it's sort of like the paparazzi. It's like, well, you want the freedom of the press, but and you want freedom of speech online, but but that just not [ __ ] okay, man. And it's happened to me. Um, so I know how it feels. And I, you know, I've had some pretty intense versions of it, but nothing like what other people get. And I just I just think it's just not okay on so many levels. There should be some recourse. There should be a button that should be able to be pressed by a platform that say no, shut that down or some some kind of firewall or some kind of algorithm that you know doesn't let you post that kind of stuff online. I don't know. Or just a general cultural understanding of like, hey, uh, don't do that. I don't know. Well, on that note, everyone out there, please take care of yourself because you deserve it. Really, really do.