Transcription
This is how aggressively men lose women's attraction over time. We fail maintaining women's sex drive because we forget what was proven in early 2000. Men and women's lust functions completely differently. Men start with desire. We physically want someone and then move to arousal, the body's response to attraction. For women, the first step is actually safety, then arousal, and then desire.
So, number one, safety. Being creepy is the quickest way to make someone feel unsafe around you. Now, a few years ago, a bunch of researchers literally ranked the creepiest stuff a person can do. As you can see, the top three are staring before interacting, touching too frequently, and steering the conversation towards sex. So, avoid doing these things, but I know what you might say. This stuff would not be seen as creepy if you'd be rich and famous, right?
Well, this is a scene with the famous host Conan O'Brien. "I love you." "Don't be creepy." Look at his non-verbal and paravverbal communication. Hands pressed on each other and no showing of the palms. Head tilted down and leaned in towards her in the first minutes of the interaction. All of these signal judgmental and nonfriendly behavior. And then he even elongated his words while saying, "I love you." He basically acts like a sexual predator. Connor is sometimes known for being a bit creepy with female guests.
Yet Craig Ferguson, a man with a similar job, similar age, and similar looks, somehow gets these reactions from women. "You look very romantic." "I do." "Yeah." "I do." "You really want to do this?" "I do." How does he do it? Well, let's take a look at his body language. In the first moments of the interaction, he leans out, a sign of disinterest, while keeping his legs near her, a sign of interest. He's already in her personal space. Yet, this position makes it much more comfortable for her. But he doesn't stay like that forever. He eventually leans in and closes the social gap, but when it's socially suitable.
But here's the strange part. During his interviews, Craig does steer the conversation towards sex. Yet, he never turns out as creepy. "Very quickly, I know him. I'm really sad about that. I was kind of enjoying myself. Well." "I can't tell you how many women have said that to me." Did you catch it? He rarely initiates the joke out of the blue. He waits until the guest says something that can be interpreted as sexual and then makes a short witty comment about it.
Now, according to the study from the beginning of the video, once a girl feels safe, she enters a neutral state where she becomes receptive to sexual stimuli. Number two, arousal. For the last four years, The Summer Turned Pretty was massively praised as the series who perfectly captured the female gays. The theme is simple. One girl has to choose between two brothers. Jeremiah, younger, funnier, and more outgoing, and Conrad, older, capable, and more mature.
Now, what truly differentiates this love triangle show from hundreds of others is how much they focus on the visual details of the female gays. Almost all the romantic scenes focus on specific body parts like eyes, back, arms, and hands. Coincidence or not, these are the same body parts women rated as most erotic in this study. But I know what you might say. How do you make your hands of all things look more erotic? Well, you don't. You just use them more.
You see, in many movies, kiss scenes are plain and only used to establish a romantic milestone between two characters. But when it comes to The Summer I Turned Pretty, many women have expressed their appreciation towards kiss scenes with unapologetic hand placements. So if you're in a relationship with a girl, use your hands more during intimate moments. If you're not in a relationship, try to establish more physical contact between you two. How do you know when it's appropriate to touch her? Well, for start, you can use this heat map.
But to increase arousal, you don't only need friendly touches, you also need sexual flirty touches. Dangerous stuff. Unless you add some plausible deniability. Basically, it's one thing to randomly grab her by the waist, but it's a completely different thing to touch her waist as you guide her out the door, right? She gets the same touch, the same sensory feeling, yet she sees you as an exquisite gentleman instead of a socially unccalibrated brute. On the same principle, it's one thing to grab her leg and another to softly land your hand on her thigh as you whisper something to her.
But you see, touches are not the only paths toward increasing a woman's arousal. In 2024, it was proven that every minute of mutual eye contact increased attraction by about 35%. Now, Matthew McConna's eye contact seems so smooth and charismatic because he didn't just stare into her eyes. Now, a simple trick that you can use is the triangle method. You first look at one eye, then the other, then the lips, and then back to the first eye.
Number three, desire. A state where she consciously and unconsciously wants you. It might seem random, but imagine being thrown into prison because you're too good at creating desire. Well, that's the story of the first Duke of Lozan, an average height man with a long nose and a narrow face. You see, the Duke couldn't use his presence to be attractive, so he used his absence. During his short meetings with women, he would be romantic and flattering for a time, but then cold and distant the next time.
Women would spend hours trying to understand his intentions. Does he like me? Did I do something wrong to upset him? Was he just polite the whole time? One by one, the princess of Monaco, the king's mistresses, and countless other noble women fell for him. But then he overstepped. Among his conquests, he seduced the Duchess of Montpensier, one of the richest, most influential women in Europe, and the king's cousin. She fell in love so hard that she actually proposed to him. This madly angered the king. So he threw the Duke into prison for 10 long years.
Now was it worth it? Well, after 10 years, he married the Duchess, became rich, and even maintained the reputation of an unmatched seducer for the rest of his life. Now, the technique he used is known in psychology as cognitive dissonance attraction. By his warm and cold behavior, he made women spend their time thinking about him, even though they never truly understood why. Our brains just hate uncertainty. So to justify the reason why we think a lot about a person, he makes us believe that we actually like them. So we eventually end up desiring that person.
But to speedrun this whole process, you need something called sexual appeal. Fortunately, I have a whole video to help you out.