Transcription
And let's start with, I guess, the most important question for me. It is, is it okay to want to make a lot of money? If you don't want to, it's not going to happen. You have to want for it to happen. Yes, we should, we should all have very comfortable and very, um, affluent lives so that we can ignore it and do good things.
Why ignore it? Because it's only a means to an end. If we get too, um, caught up in it, if we become too dependent on it, then it starts to work against us. So, actually, getting rich can be very depressing. You probably didn't want to hear that because, generally speaking, when our existence is really comfortable, then we more desperately need to validate that existence with meaning. So the bigger our existence, the more value it has to have. So it's really good to have a great existence, but then the important thing is that that existence will demand meaning and validation because it doesn't justify itself.
So when you're poor and you're struggling and you think that if you make a couple of dollars, your life will get better, you're a little distracted. But once you're affluent, then you have to ask yourself, so my existence is good now, what? Because to be or not to be is equally bad, and that is not the question. The question, the question is, if I be, why? If I exist, what for? That's a serious question. It's an urgent question. So if we get too devoted to the existence and forget the reason or the motivation or the meaning and so on, it just leads to depression.
That comes to a thing that's been bothering me for years where it says that if you want, if you have 10, you'll want 20. If you have 20, you'll want 40. I know many people have 100 million and they absolutely want 200 million. Is that your experience as well? That's human nature, and that's probably a healthy instinct. But that doesn't mean that amassing a lot of material goods is, is the true meaning of wealth.
It's interesting. If you feel that you're getting more than you deserve, your, your experience, your feeling, your reaction will be gratitude. "I'm getting more than I deserve. I don't deserve this." Then the feeling is gratitude. I am grateful. If I think I'm getting what I deserve, well, that's just justice. I don't have to be grateful about that. But when I feel like I have more than I need, that is the feeling of wealth. And the feeling of wealth demands something. So if you have more than you need, and that feels rich in, in the full sense of the word, what do you do with that? It's not an end. That's where we begin.
Like in meditation, when Jews in the '70s were going off to India to meditate, and they would reach the highest level of bliss or nirvana, and they would feel so good, and they would say, "This is great. What do we do now?" And, and the guru said, "You don't do now. You're there now. Now you're happy." And they said, "Yeah, let's do something." And they say, "You know, go back to your tradition. You're not cut out for this." When, when we're doing great, that's when our life begins. That's not the conclusion. That's, that's kick-starting our lives. So when you have abundance, then you can start living.
Let's talk about getting to financial abundance. Uh, the subject of the talk today is learning to make a lot of money. And I think about it as balancing a munna, easter, blut, and betahun. So let's start with just the definition of the three terms and how those three terms should be used to get to financial abundance. Please.
Okay, the three are effort. Effort means we don't rely on miracles. Money will not come from heaven miraculously. You have to create an appropriate vessel for the blessing to settle into. It's like rain is not going to make anything grow if you haven't prepared the earth, if you haven't plowed it, and you haven't put in the seeds. Rain is a blessing, but by itself, it, it won't, it won't produce anything. So effort is necessary because God created the world in such a way that there's a partnership, that there's a, a meeting halfway. You do your share, He'll do His share. But if you don't do your share, we don't, we don't, we don't have the capacity to contain blessings unless we create a vessel for it. So effort is necessary, and it means simply we don't rely on miracles. Our job is to make the world function, not to have goodies come from some other world and ignore this world. So by making the vessel, by producing the, the, um, the conditions into which the blessing can come, we're elevating the world. We're giving it more structure, we're giving it more direction, purpose, and so on. And then God blesses those efforts with success.
Faith. Faith means you know you can't do it yourself. That is like sanity 101. The first thing is, I didn't create the world. It's not my world, and I can't make it happen. I can't make anything happen. And this is necessary for your sanity because you look at people who do everything wrong, they're not smart, they start a business, they do everything wrong, and they succeed. And you're doing everything right, and it's uphill all the way, at best. So obviously, it's not, we make the vessel that contains the blessing, but it's not cause and effect. There's no guarantee that if you push this button, you'll get that reaction. The world is not mechanical that way. It's a relationship. So yes, if we do our share, He'll do His share, but not instinctively. It's not like a trained animal. So will there be a response? Probably. Are you causing the response? Never. So faith means God will do whatever God feels is right. I will not be able to claim success as my right, like, "Where is my success? I worked hard. Where is my success?" You can't demand it by right. That's a munna.
So emuna means as hard as I try, and as, as well as I do what I need to do, the blessing is voluntary on the part of God. If He decides, then it will be. If He has a better plan, then mine won't work. Now, trust me, if you, if what I'm doing doesn't automatically produce a result on high, if there is no cause and effect, then why am I doing what I'm doing rather than anything else? So why go into the real estate business and not open a bakery and sell bagels? If, if what you do doesn't immediately and guaranteed results, then, then you have all these doubts. "Well, maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Maybe I should be doing that." Trust means that you're confident that God will respond to your effort, although you chose the effort, although you picked the business, you decided which vessel to create. Is that the right vessel? Is that the wrong vessel? You have to trust. If you make a vessel, God will respond out of goodness, out of generosity, out of kindness, and out of His desire to have a rich world.
So this, I think, is an important principle. When we want to be rich, are we fighting God on this? Because we're not born rich. Well, if we're not born rich, maybe we're not supposed to be. Maybe He doesn't want us to be rich. So we're arguing with Him, we're fighting with Him, we're trying to twist His arm. What makes you so confident that He's going to let you be rich? I think the best answer is, He wants you to be rich much more than you want to be, because He made a big investment in creating this world. You didn't. You're here for a couple of years and then you're leaving. He's stuck with it. [Laughter] So who wants this world to succeed more? Of course, the Creator. It's His project. He wants us, He wants us to be healthy, He wants us to be successful because He wants His world to work at peak performance. So you're not fighting God. It's not like you want to be rich and He doesn't want you to, and you have to outsmart Him. So you trust that He will give you the blessing, not because He owes it to you, but because He's more interested in it than you are. That's called bitter.
I find that some people use vita, horner, and mona as a crutch for laziness. They say, "Hey, if God wants me to be rich, I'll be rich, and I only need to work one hour. It's okay if I miss the meeting or if it's okay if I'm running late. Everything that should be, will be, and therefore don't need to stress it." Well, if you want to be rich and you open a little candy store, maybe that's what you call rich. That's all you're going to get. If you create a small vessel, then you'll get a small blessing that fits the vessel. You want a bigger blessing? Create a bigger vessel. God is not going to force-feed you. You're not going to force money in through your window. If you want more money, open the window, make a bigger window. So the response from God is according to your capacity. If you don't have the capacity to handle wealth, He's not going to give it to you because it's going to destroy you. So if you're thinking small, He'll give you small, because otherwise it'll overwhelm you. You want more? Well, then think big. Thinking big means you do attend the meeting, you do make the investment, you do make the effort.
If you're gonna sit back and have a little vessel, oh, fine. You'll, you'll make a living. On the other side, though, working 22 hours a day is not correct. Working 22 hours a day is not correct because you have to balance the, the condition, the value, the quality of your existence with the purpose for which it exists. So if you're putting in 22 hours a day just in getting your existence comfortable, when are you going to attend to the purpose and the meaning and the, and the value of that existence? So you've got to balance your time with getting rich and knowing what to do with it. You're spending all your time getting rich, and what, where is it going?
Some rabbi asked one of his congregants, "Do you have time to study?" He said, "No, I have no time to study. After work, I have to make a living." He said, "Why?" He says, "To send my kid to yeshiva." So the rabbi said, "You know, everyone I ask tells me the same thing. Who is this kid that everyone is trying to send to yeshiva? And when that kid grows up, is he going to come and tell me that he's too busy to study because he has to send his kid to yeshiva?" When are we going to get to the punch line? So if everybody is working full time to make it possible to go to yeshiva, and nobody actually goes, what are we doing? So you make your, your life, your existence better, you establish yourself comfortably so that you can live a life, but then you have no time for it because you put 22 hours into, where is your life? Where is that happening?
In a very simple language, you put in a long day at work, and then you come home. What is home to you? A break from life? This is where you can collapse and chill out? Or when you come home, this is where your life happens? At work, that's where your existence takes shape. So if you don't have time and energy and interest in the life because you're putting 22 hours into the existence, you're going to get depressed.
As a real estate agent, a lot of realtors make their business, and a lot of salespeople make their business, either by door-knocking or head-knocking or cold-calling. And it's a two-part question. Part one is, is that allowed? And part two, if somebody doesn't feel comfortable doing something, is that a sign that he shouldn't be doing it? That's a tricky question because if we, if we did only what we feel comfortable doing, I don't know if we would ever accomplish anything great. So you do push yourself past your comfort zone if you really want to achieve something. But there are also times when you're pushing not against your comfort zone, but against your capacity, and you really should be trying something else because you're not cut out for this. And you need to consult with friends. And I think this, this is the kind of program that helps you sort out, are my efforts going to be productive, or am I just, uh, frustrating myself because this is not for me? It's hard. It's hard for the individual to measure that honestly, and you need input from the people who know you and who know the business. So consultations, good friends, advice, indispensable. Cold calling, allowed? Door-knocking, allowed? Sure, if you have the stomach for it.
Um, the next example I was going to bring is the afterlife, where Alicia helps a lady in need who doesn't have money. Do you mind summarizing the story and how that affects or how that comes into what we're talking about?
That story, that haftara, is something you've got, you've got to study, and you've got to, it's just beautiful. It's amazing. Um, basically, what happens is her husband dies, leaving her with debts, and there's no money because Israel, shockingly, is at war with Syria, and they're not doing so well. So there's no money, there's poverty, and she comes to the prophet, to Alicia, crying for help. Alicia says, "What have you got left in your house?" She says, "Nothing. I had to sell everything, and I still can't pay my debts." She says, "I have nothing except an oil pitcher." Alicia says to her, "Go borrow empty vessels from all your neighbors. Bring them to your house. Close the door. And take that pitcher of oil that you have, which may or may not have oil in it. It was just the pitcher, but pour oil from that pitcher into all the empty vessels you've borrowed, and they will all fill, and then you will sell the oil and be able to pay your debts and have enough to live on for the rest of your life." So she goes and she does this. Her children hand her the empty vessels, and she's pouring. When all the vessels she had borrowed were already full, she says to her son, "Hand me another vessel." And the boy says, "We don't have any more vessels." And the oil in the pitcher stopped.
So the commentaries tell us, what is it, what is the Torah trying to say here? It tells you, when the vessels were all full, she said, "Hand me another vessel." Why? Because the oil was still flowing. When the son said, "We don't have any more vessels," then the oil stopped flowing. Which means the fact that the vessels were full did not stop the oil, did not end the miracle. When somebody said, "We don't have any more vessels," that stopped the miracle. That killed it. The important message and, and lesson here is, what you verbalize has a powerful effect. If you say, "Well, I don't think we can do any more business," well, then that's going to stop it. If you say, "We can't take any more. If I get any richer, I'm going to explode," well, then you're not going to get any richer. In other words, when you think and verbalize that you have reached your capacity, well, God is not going to force-feed you. But as long as you're open to more, the blessings will keep coming. Even though the vessels were full, well, then fill your hat, get something else, but the oil will keep flowing. But when you say, "We're out of capacity. We have no more vessel. We can't contain any more of this blessing," then it stops.
It also says that she had to do it behind closed doors. He instructed her very care, very, very explicitly to make sure that the doors are closed because miracles like privacy. So when you're negotiating a big deal, don't talk about it during the negotiation, even after the negotiation, until you've, um, until you've deposited the check. Don't say anything till the check cleared.
Another one of my, uh, favorite, uh, passages, Igati Velomatsati. Do you mind sharing with us how that affects our conversation and making money in our partnership with God?
He promises that no effort will ever be wasted. If you're putting in a sincere effort, a genuine effort, it will not be wasted. God creates the world very efficiently, and He expects that our efforts and our investment and our [Music] input will also be efficient. He doesn't like, I mean, nature doesn't like waste. That's because of who created it. God doesn't like waste. And so if you're putting in an effort, it will succeed. Now, again, it's not cause and effect. It's the way God works. So are we guaranteed that if we put in an effort, we will succeed? We are guaranteed that something will come from your efforts. What will come? How much will come? This is a little unpredictable. But that an effort was wasted? No such thing. And it could be that you put in an effort hoping to make money one way, and then God surprises you, and the money comes in from the side door, the back door, the chimney. That's fine. We're not particular. Don't get too narrow. [Music]
Gotta tell this little story. This guy came to the Rebbe back in Poland asking for a blessing to be rich, and that never, it never happened. What he had was a horse, and he would make deliveries, and he kept coming back every year, "But I don't have enough money. I need more money. I need to make more money." And it never happened. One year, he comes to the Rebbe, and he says, "But now I'm really in trouble. My horse died. Now what am I going to do?" Did I ever give him a blessing? And that year, he became very wealthy. She comes back to the Rebbe, and he says, "Every year you gave me a blessing, it didn't work. This year you gave me a blessing, all of a sudden it worked. What happened? Did I do something right?" And that they said, "No. The horse died." Every year when you came and asked me for a blessing, what you were thinking is, "How can I make more money with my horse?" Well, you can't. You were making as much money as you can make on this old horse. Once the horse died, you opened yourself up to greater possibilities, and then the blessing took off. If we get too narrow, "I want to succeed this way," don't, don't be so particular. You put in your effort, and success will come. Like they say on the airlines, "Check out to see where the doors are, and they might be behind you." Very smart. The blessing could be coming from behind you. So stop running towards it. Let it catch you. So if you try, you will succeed. But, but don't narrow the, the opening. Don't narrow the possibilities. Try what you're trying. Let success come any way it wants. Don't be particular.
Let's end with a couple of definitions. Who is strong? The Mishnah says, "Who is strong? A person who can control his temper." Temper, meaning personality, not just anger. Who is rich? He who is content with his lot. Who is smart? Who is a hacham? One who learns from everybody. And who is honored? One who gives honor to all creatures.
Now, this needs a lot of commentary because none of it makes any sense. How do you get to be smart by learning from everybody, or by learning from smart people? You're not going to get smart if you don't hang around smart people. Who is strong? One who controls his temper. You control your temper, nobody will ever know you're strong. You get really angry and destroy and destroy the whole city. Oh, now we know you're strong. So it seems to be like promising something and then limiting it. Who is honored? The one who honors all people. No, you hang around with low lives, nobody's going to honor you. You're ruining your reputation, and, and you're going the opposite direction. But the most puzzling is, who is rich? One who is happy with his portion. That's like bait and switch. You started off telling me who's rich, you end up telling me who's happy. Now, you can say, "Well, happiness is a form of wealth." Not sorry, I want to know who's rich. So what is the Mishnah saying? It turns out like this. The Mishnah is saying, who is rich? What do you mean, who is rich? Take a look at his bank account. What kind of question is, who is rich? Some are rich, poor people are not, no matter how happy they are. So a person who's very happy is a very happy poor person. He's not rich.
What the Mishnah is saying is, if you're going to be rich, there's a certain condition. Be happy with your portion, otherwise the wealth will work against you. Like, for example, a person gets rich all of a sudden. Because he has money, he doesn't like his wife anymore, and he has no time for his children, and his house is not comfortable, and the city he lives in is not, not right for him, and all of his friends are, uh, annoying. See, you became rich, and all of a sudden your portion in life is not good enough for you. The wealth is killing you. So to be wealthy and not suffer, you should be rich and content with your lot. It doesn't mean content with how much money you have, because if you're content with that, you're not going to get rich. So it doesn't mean you are rich if you don't need any more money. That's not rich, that's just content. What it's saying is, of course you should get more money, but getting more money doesn't mean that you have to trade in your wife or your husband or your house or your friends or your city or your Judaism.
The same is true with strong. Who is strong? A person who controls himself. It doesn't mean that if you control yourself, you're strong. It could be you're timid. If you're a very strong person and you don't want your strength to destroy you, then you need to control your own impulses, otherwise your strength will start to work against you. So who is strong? Somebody who can beat up everybody else, but if you don't also control yourself, it will turn against you and you'll beat yourself up. Who is smart? If you can't learn from all people, you narrow your, your sources of information, and your wisdom, your smarts will lock you up in a certain place. You know, you can only, you can speak only to, to educated people, and your knowledge becomes sterile. You live in an artificial world. Who is honored? Not somebody who honors others. You're honored because you're a great person and you do great things. But if you don't want that to start destroying you and get, you know, a little arrogant and selfish and so on, as you're being honored for all the great things you do, make sure that you spread that honor so that it doesn't destroy you.
So wisdom, wealth, strength, and honor are great things, but if you don't know how to handle it, it will hurt you. We have a Sunday night program for VIPs that you might be interested in. It's informal, it's questions and answers, it's conversation, it's really relaxed, it's really pleasant, enjoyable, and kind of community-like. It's a Sunday night program. There's a Wednesday morning program for the VIPs, and there's a Wednesday night program. All of it just conversation, casual, laid back, unscripted. So join us. Take a look. Click the link below and see which, which of the three suits you best, and join us for some enjoyable conversation.