Transcription
Hello, I'm Mary. Welcome to the Beyond Compulsion intensive series. I will assume that if you've purchased my class, that you have a compulsive or addictive behavior in your life that you're struggling to stop. I want to jump right into the work. I'm going to assume that you know a bit about me and what I do, and we'll touch on that here and there, but I want to jump right into the work, um, to help you get free.
First thing I want to do is define compulsion. There seems to be a little bit of, uh, mystery around this word. Compulsive, compulsion itself is an irresistible impulse. Fancy definition: an irresistible impulse to act regardless of the rationality of the motivation. So, in layman's terms, you have this desire to behave in a certain way, and even though you know it's a bad idea, it's going to cause you serious negative consequences, and you're trying to stop doing it, you do it anyway. So that's, you know, that's what compulsion is. And compulsion or addiction, call it whatever you want. To me, it doesn't really matter what you call it. You know what it is, and you can't stop doing it. So for me, the most important thing is going to be, how am I going to stop doing this? The how-to is the most important. How to stop. That's what I'm going to teach you.
So compulsions come in many forms. Addictions, compulsions. Um, my original work was with nicotine addiction, like 30 years ago. Well, I've done it, you know, I I did it for myself 30 years ago when I learned this method, but I've worked with, uh, smokers extensively over the years. And now we've got vaping and pouches and things like that, all nicotine addiction. Um, very misunderstood. I mean, they still try to, you know, like they think they can treat smokers with vaping. It's kind of crazy, really. Um, I have very extensive experience with food compulsion. Um, I wrote a book titled "Beyond Food Compulsion" and produced a film, "Seven Misconceptions About the Obesity Epidemic." I've worked with gambling addiction, gambling compulsion. I've worked with spending compulsion, drugs and alcohol, sex addiction. [Music] A relationship people that are involved or trying to get free of destructive relationships or trying to avoid getting into destructive relationships. I've worked with exercise compulsion. So whatever it is you're struggling with, I'm gonna teach you a method that is going to change your neural pathways. And you hear a lot about that these days. So neural pathway changing or whatever, but all the kind of science behind it. But the actual changing of the neural pathway of compulsive desire requires getting into that pathway where what you're seeing here out in the world is, oh, substitution is a very popular substitute. A healthy behavior. Do deep breathing, journal, whatever, you know, um, meditate, clear your mind, whatever. Uh, substitute a healthy behavior. Yoga. Yoga is a big one, right? But the thing is, is when you have a, when you feel compelled, when you have a compulsive desire, the only thing that's going to distract or, you know, I mean, that you could substitute that's going to relieve that desire, even temporarily, is another behavior that is going to be mood or mind altering, that has the potential of becoming compulsive as well. So that's what you see a lot of, you know, excuse me, the smoker turns to food. The the compulsive eater starts exercising or, you know, whatever. There's just, you go from, you know, you know, stop this behavior, and then you engage in something else, and then you end up back with the original behavior. So now you have multiple compulsions. So substitution doesn't really cut it. It, I mean, it looks good on paper when you're going to substitute these healthy behaviors to get free of this destructive behavior, but it doesn't really cut it.
So the techniques that I'll teach you for dealing with the compulsive desire very directly, that compulsive desire, so you can be with it long enough to change the outcome, to change the action. They're based in rational emotive therapy. So, um, the concept is your thinking creates your feelings, and then you act on your feelings. So, so in in staying with that compulsive desire long enough, you'll be able to change the outcome. And in changing the outcome, it's going to change that pathway permanently. So you don't always feel like you're chasing your tail or you got a monkey on your back, you're going from one compulsion to another, and it's like, ah, what am I gonna do next to change the way I feel? Just the way you feel is going to end up being an okay thing, right?
So the other thing I want you to just, you know, kind of start to think about is the behaviors that you need to, if you're here for a behavior that requires engaging, like food, if you don't want to become anorexic, you need to engage with food, right? Or screen time. We can't function in our society without using screens anymore. Um, shopping, you know, spending, right? You need to shop for whatever essentials. Um, relationships, which you don't have to do, but it's kind of human nature. And I mean, some people give it up completely. I call them relationship anorexics because they just, they're not going to go there at all, right? Because they know it's going to go bad, just like the anorexic knows if they go near food, they're gonna eat out of control. So, um, if that, if the, if you're here for a behavior that you need to engage in, I want you to start just doing kind of an initial shift in your perspective, which is going to go against what you hear out in the world. Because everything out there is going to, especially food compulsion, teach you that you don't know what is reasonable, you don't know how to eat, you don't know when to eat, you don't know, you know. So start to shift that perspective into, you know, what's reasonable. Reasonable engagement. Communication in a destructive relationship. If you've texted somebody 17 times and rewrote it 16, you know, all that kind of crap. And food, you know, you know what is reasonable. You absolutely know what is reasonable. You don't need to be told. Um, screen time, you know, if you have your up, you know, gaming until your eyeballs are falling out at four in the morning, you know, you know what is reasonable screen time. Any any behavior that you need to engage in, I just want you to start shifting into reasonable. Because that is going to really work in your favor in the long run, and we will revisit it time and time again.
So and so in this in this rationally mode of therapy methodology, I'll be teaching you a very, very specific script to be able to stay in that compulsive desire and then be able to think it all the way through. So before you download the second segment, I want you to make sure you have pen and paper. And because I'm going to give you very specific instructions, tell you what to write down, when to write it down, and absolutely, you know, very specifically how to use it. So you will need a pen and paper. And and the other thing, just, you know, whatever behavior you're here for, just kind of make a mental note. I just want to keep on the radar any behavior that you feel could become a potential problem for you, that maybe you've been compulsive with in the past and now it's, you're in a more reasonable place with, just let's keep those on the radar so you can avoid any substitution detour to disaster, is what I call it.
So, um, yeah, so welcome again. I'm so glad you're here. And when you are, when you're when you're ready, download the second segment. Um, deprivation, a state of mind, not a physical reality. And let's, uh, get to work on getting you free of this. Because contrary to popular belief, permanent mental freedom from addiction and compulsion is possible. So I look forward to seeing you soon. Thanks a lot. Good work.