Transcription
I have spent the last decade obsessed about one thing, communication. I've spoken on thousands of stages to millions of people around the world, testing over 250 communication techniques that I've picked up from my time as a magician, someone in theater, someone who's done singing classes, improv, open mic nights, you name it, I've done it.
And today, I'm going to be sharing with you 10 techniques that will put you in the top 1% of communicators on the planet. But before we dive in, there's something I've never shared publicly. There was this one talk I did early in my career that went terribly wrong. I said one line, just one, that made the entire audience go silent. And that's the moment that completely changed how I communicate forever. I'll tell you what I said later in this video. Because if you've ever spoken and instantly wished that you could unsay it, you're going to want to hear this.
Let's go with the first one. The rule of three. Our brains love threes. It's rhythm. It's memory. It's music. You see what I did there? I just used it on you. It feels good, doesn't it? When you say things once, it's just information. You say it twice, it's now recognition. Then you say it three times, it becomes truth. Think about it. Every great speech and every great movie, they all use it. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Blood, sweat, and tears. The rhythmic nature of it is so satisfying. Three is the magic number because it's the smallest number that creates a pattern. And our brains love and crave patterns. So if you want something to stick, deliver it in threes. Your ideas will sound way more intentional, complete, and unforgettable.
Now, speaking of patterns, number two, pattern interrupts. Like I said, the brain loves patterns until it becomes predictable. When you speak in predictable rhythms, the audience starts to drift. Their brains go, "Oh, I've heard this before. I've seen this before." And then they start to switch off. So your job when you start to notice the patterns that start to appear within your speech and you can hear the monotony within your voice, interrupt it. Drop your volume mids sentence. Pause unexpectedly. Move to a different part of the stage. Say something humorous in a serious moment or a truth in a funny moment. Patent interrupts jolt the brain back to the present. If you ever feel your energy Oh my god. What the Oh, Peter. What? What? What did you do, Peter? Peter, why? What happened?
>> I thought you were becoming a bit predictable, so we'd apply the lesson you're teaching here and just do a pattern break. So, I thought I'd just walk your face. You You actually look better like this.
>> Damn. Hello, there. I know. I know it's a silly example, but do you notice how engaged you feel right now? That's because this little effect we're doing, this is a pattern break. And that's how you get your audience's attention back. Now, Peter, can I also get my face back? Because this face right now, way too sexy. I can't stop looking at myself. Thanks, Peter. We're back.
Number three, head communicator versus heart communicator. There are two types of communicators that I see all the time. The head communicators, for example, are logical. They speak in facts, frameworks, and with bullet points. Everything is well structured, clean, precise, and it's fully controlled. But sometimes it feels like you're listening to a Wikipedia article. It's smart, but it doesn't always move you.
>> Ooh.
>> Hello, good sir. Anything you're looking for in particular today?
>> Should I get this?
>> Why not? It's amazing. It looks great on you.
>> I've already got 20 of these at home.
>> 20? Dude, definitely don't get it. I mean, with the state of the economy and the current rate of inflation, you should take the $40 you're going to spend on that and then dollar cost average it into the S&P 500.
H do you have a friend like that who's overly logical and doesn't live? Then on the other hand, you've got the heart communicator. These are the people who speak in stories, lots of emotion, full of energy. They make you feel something, but sometimes they forget to give you structure for you to better remember it. And they don't give you any data to back up anything that they're saying.
>> Man, should I get this? I've only got 20 of them at home,
>> brother. You've only got 20 of these, man. This jumper specifically makes your arms look massive. This one right here. Look at that. That's Dez. This is Troy. Put them together. Destroy.
>> Oh man. I'll take these and 10 more.
>> I'll pack it up for you. See the difference? One speaks to the mind while the other speaks to the heart and the biceps. But the magic is not about using one form of communication over the other, heart or head. The real mastery lives in the mix between the two.
>> Should I get this?
>> Why not? This shirt looks amazing on you. The fit is bang on. We've got a special deal today, too. If you buy one, 50% off, brother. But if you buy two, 100% off both of them.
>> Man, that's such a good deal. I'll just take one.
>> Oh, okay. You do you, bro. What? I would have bought two for sure because I can do math. It's a genetic advantage. See, if you only speak from the head, you inform people. If you only speak from the heart though, you inspire people. But when you can speak from both, you transform people even if they make mathematical errors. So the next time you communicate, don't just ask, "Does this make sense?" Also ask yourself this question too. Does this make them feel? The balance of logic and emotion is the difference between just being heard and being remembered.
Number four, audience mirroring. Have you ever met someone and thought to yourself, "Wow, I just clicked with this person." So, that was that. Did you Did you guys not That was weird. Far out. Okay. So, so what I was saying before was have you ever met someone then you just clicked with them? Chances are they were mirroring you. It's what it's what psy it's it's it's it's what psychologists call subconscious synchrony. When someone subtly matches your tone, your posture or your pace, your brain then in that moment releases oxytocin, the trust chemical. As a speaker, you can use mirroring ethically. For example, if your audience is calm, you can start calm. If your audience is high energy, you can match it, then lead them to somewhere new. When I teach this to my students in my stage programs for the first time, a lot of them think, "Oh man, this is a form of manipulation. I don't want to do this." No, it's not. It's not manipulation. people who can match and mirror others really well. This shows high levels of EQ, emotional intelligence. And here's a subtlety, a finesse, a lesson when you're applying this rule. Don't adjust your communication skills and match and mirror too quickly. Be slow in the matching and mirroring. Don't do it like this. Hey man, I need to talk to you. I've been thinking a lot about Dan, and I think it's about time that we cut him. Dude, are you trying to build rapport with me?
>> Uh, that's just weird. That's what a lot of my students do, including me, when I first learned this technique. Watch how you do it masterfully.
>> Hey, man. I've been thinking a lot about Dan.
>> I think it's about time that we cut him loose.
>> And I don't know how to go about it. It's stressing me out. Freick, man. I feel exactly the same way. I don't know how to go about it either. Notice the difference. This is way more subtle. Just by you slowing down the matching and mirroring, it becomes undetectable. What the hell? What am I? Peter, what the hell was that? That was like a It's like a flying rat. This is Peter. Peter, what are you? We're trying to film a YouTube video. Peter, just stop it already. Far out.
Number five, the power drop. If you want to sound confident, stop ending your sentences like their questions. Many people unconsciously lift their tone at the end of their sentences like this. I'm 100% certain that Peter is evil and he's out to get me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. Drop the pitch. So, it sounds like this. I'm 100% certain that Peter is evil and he's out to get me. It's a simple example, but it's a cool example for you to see that power lives in the lower register of your voice. When you land a point, land it low. It signals authority. It signals conviction. And conviction is magnetic. So when you deliver your next punchline, your next piece of insight that you're going to share, your next payrise request, don't let it rise into doubt. Let it drop.
[Music] Sorry, I'm I've never done that. I'm I'm usually way better than this. Sorry. What what I was saying was And if you pair the power drop with communication frameworks, this will level up your confidence and credibility even more. But I don't have time to go into depth with the communication frameworks right now in this video. But if you want to learn more on how to speak impromptu, how to come across more clear, and learn how to structure your thoughts so you can speak your mind more quickly, I've recorded a free 2-hour training for you. Just click the link in the description and you can access it straight away by Peter.
>> Links in the description.
>> Peter, help.
>> Just click.
>> Peter, stop this.
>> How do I get out?
>> Wait, I know how to get out of this. Double slap. Three.
>> Two.
>> One. Wa. That was crazy. But I think we're I think we're good now. Ready for the next point?
Number six, purposeful pausing. Among all of our viewers, 27% of our viewers are subscribed to them. Peter, do you have to put it there? There's so many places on this. Thank you. God, that guy's getting arrogant. 27% of our viewers are subscribed. They would already know this lesson I'm about to share, the power of the pause. But for the other 72%, they have no idea about why the pause is powerful. So, if you're not subscribed and you're a part of that 72%, you should subscribe. And also, Peter, if you're doing your damn job, 100% of people would bloody be subscribed. So, do your job, Peter. That guy. You see, most of my subscribers already understand the power of pausing after an important point. Just like that. But here's a plot twist. Here's the plot twist. I'm going to give you another advanced tip. Don't just pause after your big point. Also learn to pause before it. This builds anticipation. It makes your audience lean in. Think of it like music. Think of a techno song. What happens before the beat drops?
>> Turn down for
>> the pause. They always pause before they drop the beat. This doesn't just apply to techno and music in general. Watch what happens when I use it in everyday speech. For example, if I said this, the highest paid skill set in the world is communication. It's not a soft skill. It's an essential skill. The highest paid skill set in the world is communication. It's not a soft skill. It's an essential skill. That second of silence before and after, it gives your idea weight. So the next time you're about to deliver a big idea, don't rush it. Hold space. Let the silence do the heavy lifting.
Number seven, looping. This one, it's a secret weapon that great storytellers always use. Here's how it works. You open a loop early in your story with a question or a mystery, and you don't close it until later. And this open loop, it keeps people hooked. Their brains literally hold on to the unfinished thought, waiting for closure. It's why movies always start with an intense scene, and then they say, "2 hours earlier." The human brain hates open loops. So, it stays alert until the loop is closed. Do you remember the loop I opened right at the start of the video? I shared with you right at the beginning. There was this one talk I did earlier in my career that went terribly wrong. And that's the moment that completely changed how I communicate forever. I opened that loop right at the beginning and now I'm going to close the loop for you. I was in the USA and it was in the year 2019. I remember being on stage and a piece of magic that I was performing completely stuffed up and it was the first piece of magic that I've ever performed for the audience that day and it didn't work. So I said first trick of the night and it was up. Now in Australia that gets a huge laugh. This was my get out of jail free card and I used to use it all the time when I stuffed up in Australia and this happens more often than you think because I'm not the best magician in the world. But when I did it in the US in the middle of America, the audience just went dead quiet. And that's when I realized, oh no, Americans don't find that word nearly as funny as Australians do. And yes, yes, just in case you're wondering, I didn't recover. The audience hated me after that and I had to slog it all the way to the finish line. It was the worst gig I've ever done in my life. And loop closed. That right there is called looping. It's a story equivalent of a magic trick. You can grab attention early, hold it just long enough, and when you finally close it, the audience gets that hit of satisfaction. And you can do it, too. When you're story sharing or when you're presenting, you can start with something like this. There's a moment that completely changed my career. But before I tell you that, boom, loop opened, attention locked. Now, all you have to do is earn the right to close it. We are going to cover a total of 10 techniques in this video. We've already covered seven. And if you just mastered three of the 10 that I'm going to share with you in this video, you already be a part of the top 1%. But there's one more tip. There's an 11th idea that doesn't fit into this framework. And I'm going to tell you that right at the end. Did you notice what I did there? I just opened another loop that I'm going to close later.
Number eight, the conversational hook. You know what instantly kills connection? You know what instantly kills connection? What the hell, Peter? Am I lagging? I feel like I'm out of sync. Why? Why am I hearing myself late? Oh my god, why am I hearing myself late? This is Peter. Stop. Peter, I'm just trying to make a YouTube video. I'm just trying to Wait, what am I? What the hell? Am I Am I thinking this or am I saying it? How the hell are you able to Peter Peter? What's going on? And am I Okay, I think I'm Okay, I think I'm back. A conversational opening is the fastest way to dissolve tension, create instant rapport, whether it's on stage, in a meeting, or one-on-one conversations. When you open like you're already in the middle of a chat, the audience, their guard, they drop it. They go from listening to a speaker to talking to a mate. Let me give you ideas to kickstart your creativity. Here's the first one. I wasn't planning to share this, but I think it's going to help someone here. Before I start, I want to say this is a story I don't really share often. This isn't easy for me to admit, but what I'm about to tell you changed everything for me. Do you notice how different that was from most speeches and how they begin? Notice how quickly it connects us. That's the kind of opening that disarms people. It tells their brain, "Hey, relax. We're just talking. We're just mates." When you start with conversation and not performance, it lowers resistance. And that's when people actually start to listen. Remember, you're not delivering a lecture. You're starting a dialogue. And even if it's one-sided, it should feel like a chat.
Number nine, energy transference. This is actually one of my core beliefs. Audiences don't just feel your words, they feel your state of being. If you're nervous, they're going to feel tension. If you're playful, they're going to relax more. And if you're inspired, they will rise with you. Communication is emotional transference. Before every talk, I always remind myself, I can't give what I don't have. So, if I want to create joy, I need to feel joy. If I want to inspire, I need myself to be inspired. Energy just doesn't lie. People won't remember what you've said, but they're always going to remember how you made them feel. So, here's one practical thing that I do, and I know it's going to sound a little bit silly, but it works every single time. Right before I speak, I play a song that matches the energy that I want to radiate and that I want others to feel. And believe it or not, here's another crazy thing I do backstage. I skip, especially if I want to be playful. I skip just before I get out on stage. And it puts me in an incredibly playful mood. Trust me, it works. Actually, I'll prove it. Peter, Peter, can you can you skip on uh skip on the studio? Yes. Good. Skip, Peter. More. More skipping. More energy. More playful. Keep skipping, Peter. One more time. One more time. More playful. As much playfulness as you can bring. Oh, you see that? You can't be evil when you're skipping like that. You look adorable. Now, that's the skipping. Now, let's get specific with the music. If I want the audience to be laughing and loose, well then I'm going to listen to something fun. Now, if I want the audience to be focused and fired up, then I'm going to listen to something inspirational and epic. And if I want the audience to be calm and grounded, then I'm going to go for something more instrumental, lowfi, acoustic. Because the music, it bypasses logic and and it drops you straight into the emotion. And when when and when you feel it first and when you feel it first, they feel it next.
Number 10, call and response. Here's a secret from comedy clubs and street performers. They know how to turn a monologue into a dialogue. It's what again we call call and response. Ask a question that the audience can answer silently in their heads and then pause for them to respond in their heads. For example, you can ask, "Have you ever felt that before? When's the last time that happened to you?" Can you see how this applies to not just me but you as well? When you ask questions like this, even if the audience doesn't answer out loud, they answer in their minds. They answer in their head. And right there and then, that's called engagement. That is you now engaging in dialogue. If you want to be more engaging, start sprinkling these prompts into your everyday dialogue because now your listeners, they aren't just passive participants, they're now active participants. Can you see how powerful this technique is? Did you just see what I did there? Notice how I did it again. Notice how I can keep going with these. Okay, I'll stop.
And here's the bonus lesson. Number 11, the empathy echo. If you want to instantly make someone feel heard, just echo their last words back to them. They say something like, "Hey, Vin, I feel so overwhelmed." You can just say overwhelmed. This sounds really simple, but it's powerful. The echo tells their brain, you get me. It slows the conversation down. It builds safety and it deepens trust. This technique is gold in coaching, for leadership, and even in parenting because sometimes people don't really need solutions from you. They just need space to exist out loud and to take an emotional breath. So echo their words, match their energy, and you'll see the wall between you and them dissolve. Dissolve. Dissolve. Dissolve.
>> What the hell?
>> Dissolve.
>> Why is this dissolve?
>> Why is this echoing all over the place? What? What is
>> What is he?
>> Oh. Oh, I know what he's going to do. He's going to try to dissolve me. No. No. Peter. Peter, don't dissolve me just yet. I've still got one more message for the audience. This is the most important lesson. Hear me out. The meaning of life is