Interview w @anyashakh Ancient Intelligence

I want to hear from different voices. I don't want to just hear from people that agree with me. We're about to dive into some even deeper, deeper topics. Ask a Brother podcast.

Welcome to another episode of Ask a Brother podcast. I'm your host, Jeff St. James. You know, the revolution is going to be because of us. Welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode of Ask a Brother podcast. I am your host. And shout out to everybody, man. Thank you for everybody that's been supporting the brand, supporting the wave, supporting the channel. Uh, thank you to the guests that came on this particular week so far. Uh, Rachel Dojou, uh, was an amazing, amazing story in terms of her background. Uh, my, my guy, the Black Spider guy, as far as his advice last night, he absolutely killed it. I'm going to continue the run with the amazing interviews this week, uh, with a very special guest that I've, you know, came across late last year and early this year and just love her content. She covers so much of the stuff. But before we get under that, real quick, y'all, please make sure that you like and subscribe to the platform and to the channel if you haven't done so. Um, and guys, the two videos that we just had up, um, that just cleared, um, uh, yesterday and the day before, please guys, make sure if you can, that you hype those videos, um, you know, definitely share them with others and always let people know about the brand and the channel. And I'm telling you, I think this is going to be another awesome, awesome interview. And I mentioned it before, and I'll mention it again tonight. We have the Men's Table. We have a special guest, which we will be posting a flyer on that very, very soon later in the day. And then we will have the Ladies' Table for the first time Monday night. And once I get that flyer made, I'm also, we're also going to let you guys know. I can't wait, man, because this is, this is super dope and super exciting.

But listen, y'all, whenever it is that you're tuning in for an interview, I know that you guys don't want to be watching my face the entire time on the screen. So let me eyeball real quick and see who's currently here. So if you're watching, what's the things that I always recommend? Please make sure that you like it. Please make sure that you send it to two, three, four, even five people. And I'm telling you, um, for in terms of if you love my stuff, you're absolutely gonna love tonight's guest. But, uh, if you're here, please let me know that you're in the building. So, Cynical Optimist, welcome, good brother. I see that you are here. SX Money, man, you are on. You are always back. Every single video, I don't, no matter what live stream I'm doing, whether it's 8:00 at night, 9:00, 10:00, 12:00 in the afternoon, SX is always there. Mrs. Plum is always faithful and loyal and appreciate you, my admin. Um, and guys, if you like the content, whether it's supporting this particular episode or even previous episodes that you've come across last week or this week, uh, feel free to hit that super chat button and especially if you have particular questions or comments that you do not want me to miss. My god, Noah, welcome, good brother. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Uh, let's see. I am Sid Scott, welcome, uh, for this interesting, uh, listen. I think it's going to be a thought-provoking. I say this all the time, but then when I see the comments, I realize that most people end up agreeing with me. And thank you, Mrs. Plum, for the link for Rachel Dole, um, interview. And a lot of people are saying that they have a totally different perspective of her than they did when they first, um, when they first, uh, heard of her years, some time ago. Um, so I'm super, super excited and all the links are officially up. So again, guys, if you, you know, can just feel free to send it to one, two, three, four, even five people, definitely like and let's kind of get this party started.

So, um, tonight's no about, I'm so used to saying tonight. This is, this is a much, much earlier time frame show for sure. Um, but from a coach to a podcast host, she is a thought-provoking, uh, commentator that doesn't avoid the tough topics many often do when discussing the similarities between the sexes. Um, please, please join me as we dive into this deep conversation, uh, with Miss Ancient Intelligence, or aka Ana Shack. Welcome, man. What's going on?

Hello. Hello. It's good to be here. Thank you.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So, uh, one, thank you. Thank you for kind of pulling up and, uh, I appreciate you for for tuning in and just being a part of, uh, this brand that we're building with this channel.

I love it. It's super genuine and, uh, deep, which matters to me. It's not just surface level, which I love that you go deep and so that's what I'm here for.

Nice. Nice. Um, so for starters, for people in my audience that's watching either now or later, could you let everyone know a little bit about your background in terms of how you got into the field of psychology, coaching, and then what brought you into content creation?

Yeah, absolutely. Hey guys. Uh, it's so nice to meet y'all. Uh, so I actually am a fine arts kid. I was like very creative, went to art school and then I found my way after fashion, long, many, many different fields, I found my way into marketing, advertising, and specifically the strategic side. And so I was really focused on anthropology and consumer insights. So my job was human understanding human behavior and I was creating strategies for like big brands, Nike, Red Bull, Burger King. And so that was my first foray into like, uh, data, human behavior. What do humans do? What do they buy? What do they want? And honestly, it was a little surface level for me, even that. And so that is when I kind of went into psychology and deepening anthropology. And so I went on my own kind of healing journey, if you will,

in terms of

like, what do I want? Who am I? Uh, you know, what are my issues with my family and and trauma and really understanding who I am and and who do I really want to be? And that helped me really identify like, oh wow, I I deeply care about the feminine desires and wants and needs in this life and also the masculine ones and how can we figure that out? And I just, to kind of say, love and relationships were really hard for me as a teenager and in my 20s and I was just like, what is going on here? I want to figure this out. And so that's been my come from. And, you know, with my human behavior nerding out that I always do, it just became this thing where I was like, "Oh, wow. I I love to take things from different places and

put them together and tell stories through data." And what I love is not what people say, but what people actually do is where we find the truth.

Yep. And and I appreciate it because I think as I've gotten older and I got more into psychology as well, I noticed that I, the moment you get really interested in why humans do what they do, then the very next thing is looking back at your past and how you became who you are and why. Um, so I understand why I'm so messed up. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Um, but, um, I've been wondering because I haven't watched it myself, but I do watch a lot of reactions and reviews to it, only because I already knew going into it why I would want, personally, going to waste my time watching two-hour-plus documentary on it. But inside the manosphere, um, I wanted to know your, you know, what's your take on it and any criticisms about how the manosphere was covered and even displayed? And then we can kind of segue into, you know, the actual manosphere itself, you know, and your thoughts about that as well. But just a documentary, Inside the Manosphere. What do you think?

Oh, love it. Well, I watched it, so you didn't have to. So, um, you know, I thought it was a silly portrayal of boys trying to make money.

That's really my big takeaway. Uh, unfortunately for the mainstream and people that just learned the word manosphere, they did not get to, uh, understand that the manosphere is a huge, um, movement, really, that has many different factions. And I, when I really talk about the manosphere, I'm talking about men that started writing about, uh, gyocentrism and men's rights in the late '80s and the early '90s. I'm talking about the mythopoetic movement. Men going out into the forest and, you know, trying to find their wild man and trying to understand why they've been castrated in this, in this society that we live in. And so there are so many, uh, serious, um, thoughtful,

men doing good work for men's rights and women's rights and human rights in general. Uh, and those, those types of men would not say yes to being on a, a p on a documentary like this, uh, that was really created by, in my opinion, um, a male feminist, if you will.

Charlton is a better argument to me.

Yeah.

Yeah. So I, I just think it was like, you know, a product of the, the times that we live in. Uh, extremely decadent, meaningless, um, moment that a lot of people find themselves in and are kind of just attention and clicks, and it was just, it was just a little demonstration of that little pocket of the world.

I, I really appreciate hearing that from you because me engaging in this space to the degree that I do, I don't only talk about stuff pertaining to the manosphere. I do cover a lot of different topics and things, but I've noticed that very, very few people who aren't men are often articulating what it is that you just said. It's a very, very big umbrella. Um, it includes a whole lot of different motivations. I, I definitely acknowledge that. And it seems like when the mainstream media obviously picked up on it and they're kind of leaning more towards the feminine or the feminist leanings, they're just making it all seem like the worst thing ever. And all these men in this space just absolutely hate, um, women, and there's no value in it. So, I really appreciate you sharing that, um, because that level of nuance is definitely, sounds like, first of all, when you're referencing the late '80s and early '90s, that lets me know you've actually looked into this. You didn't just base this on one clip that you saw from one big commentator that you didn't like and was like, that was it, and therefore this is all bad. Like, you actually clearly looked into it, and I, I appreciate that.

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Um, so speaking of that, so let's get dive a little bit into your views on the red pill, um, space, uh, from the outside looking, especially from like a woman's perspective. I've always wondered from a woman's perspective, who at least acknowledges that there's definitely good and bad happening in the manosphere space in general, your views as it relates to like the red pill space and, you know, and then we can delve into your, what is it that you probably adopted yourself when it came to making distinctions between like the sexes.

Yeah, absolutely. So, I guess the, the whole idea that, you know, um, we live in this world where we, we've taken the blue pill and that means that, you know, the world is really set up in such a way that men have to do everything they can for the approval and the appreciation of women.

Right? It's almost like this world where we live in where, um, men have to produce and protect and provide and do all these things, and women, uh, like, we don't know, what do women have to do? We are not sure. We don't really get told much about what women have to do. And so then when we think about what's the, the red pill, which is like, wait, actually both sexes have responsibilities and obligations and sacrifices that they need to make, and we're both humans. We're both human beings that for most of history partnered together and worked together. Uh, um, so from that perspective, I think that makes sense to like rethink the, the sea that, you know, men have been swimming in for a couple of decades, right? To say, hey, let me just take a second here, what, what's really going on? Um,

I, I think it makes sense, I think to like end up there and just say, I'm, you know, the red pill is my final destination and I'm going to just spend my life, uh, comment, commentating or on differences between men and women and getting into those rabbit holes and ignoring the greater big picture of what is the actual purpose of our union?

What is the purpose of our lives here? Like, like men and women belong together. Like without going all the way there, then I think, yeah, the red pill is missing something. Like, it's just a stop on a, on a journey. It's not the destination. That's my

Hey, let, let's pause right there because first of all, fellas and everybody that's watching. She was spitting some fire just now. I really like the way you articulated that. I think it definitely increases awareness about our polarity, about our differences, our distinctions. Um, I don't think the space often does a really great job of, uh, like, it, it helps us to point at things, but it doesn't help us to pull us towards each other. And I think that how you articulated that was actually perfect because since I've been in the space,

the, the, the ratio of guys that want to stay in the red pill rage area and they don't want to acknowledge changes or shifts when it comes to the types of women they want to interact with, changes to themselves, um, having a slightly different disposition and like, even if they want to move more strategically, it's, it comes off more adversarial. Um, yeah, definitely more adversarial. And to a degree, I understand why men even start that way. I, I would have guessed that if I was younger and been exposed to this stuff and went through the heartbreaks at certain times when I was aware that this stuff was happening, I might have been in and stayed in that point mentally for a long time too. Um, I learned, you know, engaging with the space, a general observation, my personal life, it, it, as you understood this and applied it, it actually got easier to do life with people. Because you saw more, much more easily who was for you and who wasn't,

who had the right motives and who didn't. And it got easier to not overly invest, which I think is why men are often so jaded and frustrated in the space. We tend to overinvest and ignore a lot of red flags.

And, and I think the ladies do the same thing in their own version of this, which is how we end up in these echo chambers and bubbles where we're constantly clicking and, you know, focusing on the differences of, let alone the ways in which we should be coming together. So related to that, um, a lot what actually caught my attention with your, your, your channel and some of your videos were the, uh, the particular clips where you were talking about the, the biological differences

between men and women and the sexes. So,

can you help at least with pointing out from your vantage point, what have you noticed that you think is a less than debatable areas that we know for sure there's noticeable differences between, between us?

Totally. H, this is my favorite topic. It's so important. And I think, uh, fundamentally, the other thing I, I did want to say is like,

I think when people get so caught up in the, um, biology conversation, what's happening is we're stuck in our human animal, you know, but we have a human soul.

And we have two parts of us. We have our human animal, which is where we can talk about the evolutionary biology and psychology and, you know, uh, mate switching and hypergamy and all of that stuff. But then we have our human soul, which is the foundation of our morality, our good and bad, our, you know, who are we? And, um, obviously, depending on what lens you come from, but if, if we're living in this, you know, Judeo-Christian lens,

uh, then, you know, we have a really clear idea about what men and women are, are for, what our purpose is. And so I think bringing those two together is, is the magic. And so it's like, yeah, let's talk about the biology so we can understand each other's behaviors, but let's understand our humanity and the way that we complement each other and how, uh, you know, we're really made for each other. It's what I

And, and so when it comes to some of those differences, you know, we, we actually can't have a conversation. I feel like everyone circles around the most important, like, number one foundational thing that, that no one ever wants to talk about. The whole purpose of our lives is to have babies.

Listen, y'all, now she's here. Now, welcome to the show, Anya. Now we've officially started. Please say it again. What is the actual purpose for why we as human beings are here? I'm sure that there's other purposes, but what's one of the central purposes for why we're here?

The central purpose for why we're here is to procreate. Is to continue the human race. Is to have babies. That is foundational. And,

like pre-monotheism, people figured out lots of different ways to have babies and to have slaves and concubines and, you know, let's just have sex and procreate. But the magic of what happened when we, when we, you know, when monotheism began and this idea of monogamy, this idea that yes, procreation is central, but it's also about, you know, finding a companion in life. Co-creating with God. You are this unique individual that God has put you on this planet because you have these talents and gifts and this God-given drive to create. And so if you take that, like trio,

procreate, create, like create with God besides having children, procreate as in make babies, and then have this companion in life, then it all becomes super clear that all of our behaviors are complementaryary so that we can do this together. That's like what we're supposed to do. And, um, like fundamentally, a woman's evolutionary drives are based around the mother-infant diad.

So there's a great book, you guys, Warriors and Warriors by Joyce Ben & she did a lot of research on this and, uh, it basically says like, why are men warriors and why are women worriers? And fundamentally, uh, a woman's physical purpose, right? Psychically and emotionally, we have, we can have different purposes for life, but physically is to have a baby.

So there are a couple of different things that have to happen for that. So also, just to remember, up until about a hundred years ago, only about 40% of children lived past the age of four, and only about 50% of children lived past the age of 15. It was not an easy walk in the park to create a baby, to birth a baby, and to sustain a baby to adulthood. That was an important job that took a lot of effort. And so because of that, a woman's evolutionary biology and psychology was basically evolved so that she could have the best shot at that.

What would give a woman the best shot at that? Well,

the mate she selects, probably.

Well, not the mate she selects. Definitely wants to think about like father investment, but just for her, what are her like personal behaviors? Well, it'd be really great if she didn't try to take risks. Be really great if she was really focused on her own personal health and well-being. If she was really detail-oriented so that she could say, "Oh, that berry's poisonous, but that berry is not. So, I know I can't eat the poisonous berry because I'm really focused on keeping myself healthy and my baby."

So, focus on details. This kind of diffuse awareness where the environment, women are really good at, like we can see everything in the environment all at one time.

And so this is all to keep me alive, to keep me healthy, to keep my babies alive. And women also evolved for the, uh, the diad. Women are incredibly good at the one-on-one relationship.

Okay. Okay.

Men, when they talk, they, they're like shoulder to shoulder, they're like looking out, you know, with the beer, but women are like, "Let's eye gaze."

Listen, the way my wife and her best friend FaceTime every day, obviously me and my, me and her husband, we've accepted it. They talk more than I think they talk to us. So, uh, Oh, man. This is, this is good stuff. So then on the flip side with men, what would be the distinct differences?

Yeah. So the flip side with men, the Joyce Benninsson, she talks about how the male physical drive, if women have that one physical purpose, the male physical purpose is to defend the perimeter against the enemy.

It's to defend and to make sure that like, if the women are protecting the babies in the inner circle, the men are protecting the women and the babies as the outer circle. Mhm.

And so they are the ones that have to,

be the protectors of the perimeter. They're the ones that have to defeat the enemy. So,

it's really interesting because if you think about all the, um, the campaigns that men come up with, it's always like the war on drugs, the fight against, you know, the, the battle of the sexes. It's like,

Yeah. Yeah.

Men are like, we're battling.

Um, we're fighting. Like everything's kind of a fight. Um, and I want to win. I want to win this fight. And so, what types of behaviors are required for men to personally develop, like inside of their body, so that they can have the best chance at winning?

Well, definitely. I'm assuming like having, you know, elevated testosterone levels to boost the need for, um, aggression when necessary. Um, is definitely probably top three. Um, in, in terms especially in terms of attraction triggers for the opposite sex, right? Um, what else you got? What else you think?

We got risk-taking, like love a risk. Sometimes women are so shocked, like, you know, you'll hear like some guy will be saying, "Oh yeah, you know, I really wanted to wrestle with a crocodile." So I found this guy in New Orleans and he took me out on his boat." And why would you do something so stupid? It's, it's funny. Women go to the doctor way more often, but men go to the ER way more often than women.

Because men love taking risks.

So,

Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead.

It's fascinating, right? And,

men love to compete. And like I said, women are amazing at the one-on-one. Men are really good in groups.

They've, uh, actually observed this with children playing, right? If a couple of boys are playing, two boys are playing and a third boy comes, the boys are like, "Let's go. Another ally."

Whereas when two girls are playing and a third girl comes in, the girls are like,

"Uhoh,

get that look. What she doing here?

I don't want her here."

Ah, this is, this is so fascinating. So, have you seen when the, in the studies and work that you've looked into, have they found this stuff very early in terms of distinct differences between the sexes? Like any particular studies that you could think of off the top of your head?

Very early. Uh, so there's one study that they did where, um, they literally infants, six to nine months old. Okay, this is pre-consciousness.

Way past socialization, folks. Way past. So, so for the feminist crowd, that, that's what, that's all blank slate theory. Y'all need to listen to this. Go ahead. What you,

Yeah, I'm vehemently anti-blank slate theory. And, um, basically, they sat these infants down on, uh, their parents' laps and they showed them this little 10-second video of, uh, they would show both either a baby, basically, they would show a person with a balloon and they would show a person either hugging the balloon or hitting the balloon. They would show both videos to boys and girls, and then they would give the boy and the girl a balloon. And lo and behold, they had, they got to choose what they did with the balloon. The girls hugged the balloon. The boys hit the balloon.

It's like a fundamental difference in temperament and, uh, yeah, testosterone versus estrogen. This is all just the difference in, um, aggressiveness versus non-aggressiveness. We've seen the difference in the way boys play versus the way girls play.

Yeah.

Again, this has nothing to do with like individual intellect, emotionality. Boys and girls are like equally as smart, equally as emotional. They just showcase it differently. That's the important differences. And no one wants to have these conversations. Like, it's not about the what, it's about the how.

Well, I think the reason why is because the ramifications and consequences of how we've gone about educating and correcting the sexes where one is more ideal than the other. If, if you have to go back and re-evaluate, what if the way in which we've been treating the boys in the educational system was always designed to send a percentage of them to the prison pipeline just because we're trying to socialize something out of them that's genetically a part of who they are as far as, like you said, that extra, um, energy and that physical, that physicality? And it's like, on top of that, it's like, as a therapist, me jumping into this space, I noticed it in therapy sessions where it was always kind of predicated on how she felt and whether or not she wanted, like the therapist and the therapist agreed with her, and if she felt validated, then the therapy is working. And I'm just like, you know, and that, and her, and even in terms of, like, you mentioned how a lot of times, ladies, their way of emoting is one in terms of connection, where it's a lot more verbal and they, they use a lot more words than men, generally speaking. And when they feel like he's not doing that matching, he's dropping the ball. And because he's not matching where she is in terms of how she feels most connected and most able to express herself. And I'm like,

Yeah.

I see how this shows up in the therapy session.

Yeah.

I see how, especially couples therapy, and the schools, to the psychology field, I'm like, the more and more that we ignore these differences, the more and more we're going to elevate one perspective over another. And this is why men drop out of treatment.

This is why they say therapy isn't for me. Because if we're holding up a general model that's both maybe biological and sociological to, to varying degrees, cuz I do believe in a little nature versus nurture.

Totally.

But if you're basically upholding how women tend to view, express, and do things and saying this is the perfect way. This is this is emotional intelligence, not what y'all do.

I could see what happens. It's like when you keep trying to turn men into your girlfriends, there could be unintended consequences. Uh, so, so how have women responded to you when you've been putting this stuff out on? So because remember, when we put it on the internet, everybody to see it. And, and how have the ladies engaged in this? Because typically they, they don't like the differences when I put them out there.

Yeah. To be honest with you, I, so far, mostly most of my audience is men. It's 80/20, but I do have more and more women. When I first started, it was like 90/10. So I'm growing. We got the ladies coming online. So,

um, you know, I think, uh,

yeah, women can succumb to group think a little bit more easily. And, uh, it's just a reality of female nuance and female behavior. Uh, female survival depended on the other women liking you because if you're, if your man died in battle, then like, you needed this woman to help you with your kids, otherwise you weren't going to eat. And we're still the same humans as we were a couple, you know, thousand years ago. And just because we have the internet doesn't mean that we're suddenly, you know, things like we're not that evolved. That's the reality of it.

Some would say we've devolved. We probably been regressing in some respects.

Yeah, I would agree with you. Yeah. I, I think, um, there's not a lot of openness. Uh, but usually there's not openness when, um, the mind is just full of other information. So I've tried to be as, uh, I guess philosophical and scientific as possible. Like, you know, there's something called fluid intelligence. Boys have this incredible knack for pattern recognition and depth perception. Boys can take things, objects at a distance, like a hundred yards away, and they can flip them 360 and they can like shift them in their brains, and that's why they're so good at like, you know, sports and battle and,

spatial stuff. Yeah.

Spatial stuff and building. And it's like,

who's, who's, who's getting excited about boys and their brains? I am. So, but we don't, we don't have like conversations like that. Um, and it's really unfortunate because, uh, men are incredible. And just on a personal level, like, I'll ask all the ladies listening, you know, all the ladies I know, we get overwhelmed because we're so, um, um, we succumb to the environment. We have that diffused focus because we can see everything. It's like the environment yells at us. And men don't usually get that as, as deeply as we feel it. It's like, that's why we have to have all the little things done before we go on a trip because their environment yells at us.

And then when we have a man that is,

singular focused and grounded, like, hey,

here are the five things. Here's the number one priority. I got you. Like, you're good. It is like,

it's, listen, it's supposed to be. Uh, I think what's happening in, in the terms of especially relationships, a lot of ladies don't realize that's his role and they think he's supposed to jump onto their wave of emotions and do the same thing. And I'm like, that's a, that's not how you do it. And, um, I, I'll give an example. Um, the, the, you know, woman that just, she's fed up. She's been freaking out. She's going off about the trash and, you know, and the trash being taken out, something like that.

Always the trash.

You know, she's always top three. Trash, laundry, and, um, uh, the dishes, usually in that order, right? So, with the trash, um, I've noticed when talking with my, uh, lady clients and, and, um, you know, uh, yeah, clients, whether it's from consultations or even therapy sessions, when they bring up these type of moments, I always ask them like, "Hey, did you, um, did it, was it, did it bother you that he hadn't done it? Or did it bother you that he hadn't done it when you wanted him to do it?" And with a little prodding, it, 90% of the time, it's actually about the, the, and you mentioned it, that that emotional, um, uh, external stimuli stimulation. It, it, it, it's bringing something in them that wants them to kind of calm that down. Like, they want that to be resolved. They want that to be fixed because they're feeling it in the moment. And he's like, "I'll get to it later." And for her, it's like, "No, we're going to do this now." And it's like, and I'm realizing like, that's often what it is, is when she's experiencing and feeling so many different things simultaneously, she's wanting the reprieve. She's wanting to feel that address. She's wanting to feel her emotions and her anxiety starting to come down from it. And when a guy doesn't immediately jump in to do that, she now sees that as the issue versus whether or not the fact that she wants something done about it in that moment. And she's an externalizer. So rather than, this is something I maybe need to address myself, let go of, move on from, no, this is your problem that you need to fix for me to feel better. And I'm like, oh my god, this is how you're framing it. It's like, it's giving an external, it's given an external framework for what's happening internally for them. And that makes sense to me why it takes me about three sessions to get them to understand like, not everything you feel is a responsibility of the external world or the man that you're with.

And that, I'm like, that's a such a big, big battle for me. Um, yeah.

Yeah. It's, it's really, I mean, I think it's important to also just acknowledge men and men typically are more internally motivated,

internally motivated.

In general. Men have a, um, you know, if self-esteem is, you know, all equal, then men have a better time at saying, yeah, I want this, I'm going to do this. I think this, this is my opinion and no one can, you know, change it. Whereas women are really quite externally motivated. It's, oh, what are they going to say? How is it going to look? How are they going to experience it?

And, uh, it goes back to our tribal instincts.

Um, it's our survival.

Um, and so I think it's important to, that's why, yeah, that's why we're meant for each other because we, like, we compliment each other in that way. We can give each other the, the things that the, you know, the same sex can't give us. And, and so, for example, like, you know, women, because women are a little more neurotic and a little more myopic and focused on the here and now, women are really good at that, like six sense of, "Oh, that something's a little off over there. Something's not quite right." Or the intuition that's required in these moments. Mhm.

Um, and men are like, "Oh, I didn't even notice that."

Whereas women are not great at the big picture.

Wife, you listening? Like,

now me, we talk about that all the time. And, and we noticed that we have such great strengths in these radically different areas. Um, and it really is that, that having that ear to just listen to the other side because it really is just helping you with your blind spots.

And I don't know why more guys and ladies at this point that are talking about, we don't need men, we don't need women. Like,

Yeah.

it's kind of true. Like when you're born in, when you're growing up in a certain civilization that allows you to act this way where you could be so, so-called self-sufficient for the most part, I get that. But from a long-term relational perspective, absolutely. Like, there's just so many things day-to-day that she's staying on top of that I don't have to think about. And then on the flip side, there's just macro things that I know she cares about that I care about that at some point I have to make sure happens and that we reach those goals. Um, so before I ask, answer my, ask my next question, I just want to check the comments real quick. So guys, if you're currently watching at this time, please make sure that you like and subscribe and definitely send this to just two, three, or even four people. Anya is definitely somebody who I absolutely been wanting to talk to. We're going to be covering a lot more discussion points in terms of like the gender war, uh, happy wife, happy life, her thoughts about that, as well as sex on the first date. So, listen, y'all, get ready to jump into these topics. Please, please, please make sure that you send it to two, three, or even four or five people, and that you like this particular video. So, let me eyeball real quick. Jay, what's going on, man? Uh, Lee Turner, yes, pretty fruitful, multiple. A lot of y'all was commenting that y'all don't get no ideas unnecessarily now. And, and for those with the book that she, uh, mentioned, thank you, Mrs. Plum. Warriors and Warriors, it is on Amazon from, from Nicole. Thank you, Mrs. Plum, for finding that for me. And, uh, uh, Scott says, she's cooking.

I love Sid. Love it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Grizzly in the building. What's going on, my man? And, uh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for coming in. So, yeah, I'm excited. So everybody, like I said, just send it to two, three, four, even five people, and let's see between now and the end of the show if we can get 100 plus people concurrently, uh, watching.

So, the gender war, um, in this cultural divide, I don't, I, I have multiple theories, some that I can say online and some that I can't say online for how we got here and who funded it. Um, but what do you think are some of the, you know, contributing factors for why there is even a social media slash gender divide between the sexes to some degree?

Well, I, I think that fundamentally, there is this monolithic narrative that, you know, women were oppressed and there was all this misogyny and women didn't have all the rights, and then these women, women finally got them and they got the right to vote, and now everything's fine. That is not the story. That is not even close to the story. It is so nuanced. There were multiple factions of different groups, um, that were, you know, lobbying for women, different, different women's rights in different ways. So, uh, Mary Harrington is someone I really appreciate. She is a, what you would call a, um, reactionary feminist, in that she was this, like, super liberal feminist in her teens and 20s, and then she got, then she had a baby, and she was like, "Oh,

oh, I'm not a feminist as much anymore."

Feminist anymore, and she wrote this book called Pro, uh, Progress, something about like the progress of feminism. I'll have to, I'll have to share it with you guys.

What's her name again?

Mary Harrington.

Yeah, if y'all are in the chat, if y'all can look it up and see if y'all can post the name. Feminism Against Progress. That's the book.

Okay. Mary Harrington.

Yeah. She talks about how there were really two, uh, forms of feminism going on in the 1800s, like 1850s. There was a feminism of care and the feminism of freedom.

This was, as many things, a class battle.

And so the fe, there were plenty of women that were working because this was post-industrial revolution, post, uh, labor unions. So factories were now accessible for women, and women were working because, again, if you're not the upper class, like man, woman, child, you are getting your hands dirty and you were working. And,

everybody was working. Everybody was working if they could. Yeah.

Yeah. And so when we talk about feminism, we're really talking about some elite white ladies that were really bored.

Listen, if that's not the issue today, but we gonna get to that another time. Continue. Go ahead. So, it's funny because we got to be light about it, you guys. It's just so serious, you know. Um, so, you know, you think about people like Elizabeth Cady Stanton and some of the other suffragettes in the, you know, 1800s. And so, they were quite anti-male in their, uh, demands, in their, uh, writings. She wrote something called the Declaration of Sentiments that actually was presented at the Seneca Falls Convention in 1848.

Yeah.

And basically, the actual story, because I looked up Elizabeth Cady Stanton and what her deal was, the actual story was this woman attended one of the first universities available to women. Her father was a lawyer and judge. She had access to anything. She was the epitome of privilege. Mhm.

And what happened was her little brother died,

tragically,

and her father basically really treated her like she didn't exist. He was just devastated that his male heir was gone and really kind of treated her like she didn't matter. And so her, you know, upper-class, very aristocratic American perspective was like, men are terrible. Men get all the good stuff. Men get all, you know, men are the ones that get love. Men are the ones that get approval. Men get everything. And that's her personal unique, like, little, little girl heart perspective. And you get that, you're a trauma therapist, like that. I coach people. I help them heal their trauma as well. And, um, this became the foundation for that grouping of feminism. There were plenty of anti-suffragettes.

Yep. Way more, way more anti-suffragettes at that time.

They were all about, "Oh my god, we have all these responsibilities. We don't know enough about politics. Like, this is not going to be good for the social good of our, of our societies, our families. Like, this is not a good idea. Also, we don't want to go to war." Like, uh, also, you know, at that time, most men couldn't vote. You had to own property to be able to vote. Most white men couldn't vote, even. I, listen, wait till you, listen, wait till you realize and jump into the conversations when you get into the nuance of the black community and how black men are being given a, a historical reframe as if they were the benefactors of white patriarchy from the 1800s and earlier. I'm like, there was a small segment of men that that had all these advantages and privileges that you're talking about. I'm like, this is crazy.

Totally. And actually, yeah, when they, when, uh, Elizabeth Cady Stanton was talking about, "Oh, white, white women need the white right to vote," Frederick Douglass was like, "Actually, let's give the black man the right to vote so he can represent black women. Don't you want women represented? You already have someone representing you." She was like, "No, I don't care."

Yeah. So anyway, it's all very fascinating stuff, but the point is, is that there are all these groupings of and rumblings of, "What do we do next? Now that we've got more comfort? Now that technology is amping up, right? This is all a mo, like a modernity, technology conversation as well. So unfortunately for, for a lot of us, this tiny little grouping of the feminism of freedom won out. And that was specifically high elite white women that wanted to compete with men in those high, uh, intellectual and knowledge labor positions. Elizabeth Cady Stanton.

Uhhuh.

The moment, you know, she has a baby, she's got a nanny to take care of her baby. But what about the middle-class women? What about the,

women and back to work?

Yeah.

So, I think fundamentally, the feminism that, uh, won out did not actually have the best interests of women at heart. M.

Um, it really only had, like, the top 1% of women that had all the luxury, all the nannies, all the money, all the land titles, all that. It was really for them.

And so, and now we're, we're, um, we're experiencing the effects of that. And so it's, it's unfortunate because I strongly believe, and this has been written about, um, Victorian women, for example, in, in the United Kingdom.

There's a, there's a quote that I was reading actually earlier today. "There is nothing that Victorian women lobbied for that they didn't get."

That is how influential women are.

Yeah. Women are like, we can see it. Whether women want to be influential for good or for bad, that's up to women.

It's gonna happen. If a woman wants it, it's going to h, listen. Yeah.

I believe it.

I believe it. A lot of times. And so you think the, the, the segment of feminists back in the late 1800s, early 1900s that really had that more adversarial attitude and approach to the nuclear family, to having kids, to definitely having kids with a man in marriage, they kind of won out. And when they won out, they started to influence all aspects of society.

Yes, 100%. And think about it, the Communist Manifesto was released the same year as the Declaration of Sentiments at Seneca Falls. If you,

hold on because again, I, I didn't want to go there, that, that the communist origins that that interlin with this from the very beginning and that they are anti-hierarchy of all kinds, including in the home.

I will go there as a former USSR immigrant who immigrated here when I was three years old from, uh, former USSR. I'm here. Go ahead. Go ahead. I'm listening.

That's the thing, man. You, it's like all these American folks will talk about socialism and communism. You don't know. My parents have the stories. Like, we actually know what, what it means to, um, grow up because

It, it kind of makes me tear up a little because what happens is you, you lose your humanity. You, you become like a, a cyborg of the state.

Yes.

You lose your humanity. You lose your humanity. That's the endgame.

Communism.

And the, and the wild part about it, and I appreciate you even opening up and sharing this because the people, especially the, the, the progressives here and, and the far leftist here, they haven't experienced it. They don't actually get it. And they're using all the same talking points that led to some of the most vicious, insane things imaginable. And the starting point is the destabilization of the nuclear family.

And, and, and for the life of me, I'm like, they can't. They see the outcomes.

They see how bad things are getting. They see how the people in their groups are talking about the opposite sex, and they don't get what's the end goal. The end goal is for you to replace husbands and replace family with the state of your employer.

Jeeoff, so well said. And fundamentally when you look at some of the feminist literature, basically it comes directly from the Communist Manifesto in that it's like private property is evil.

Yes.

So if private property is evil, then that means we need a bigger government. We need, you know, and so and if we do that, then so then basically like.

The other thing that it says in there is like.

You know, um, everything private that is not state-funded and state-run is, uh, is hiding. It's like secret. And so the woman is the servant of this private domain that doesn't actually, it's unpaid labor. It's the basis argument for like the unpaid labor argument.

Yeah.

And so these women will be had bought into this thinking that, oh, the state has my interests more, like the state cares about me more than my father.

Yeah.

So.

And it's like the Thomas Sowell quote I always think about too. It's like, there's no such thing as, um, what is it, improvements or something? It's, there are only trade-offs.

Yes. Always trade-offs. And the worst part about it is the conditioning and the propaganda works so well. You'll see it in the way in which they treat and react and respond to their bosses and employers in comparison to their husbands and the men in their life.

Totally.

They have a greater respect for somebody that's less likely to die for them and is less likely to deal with all the crazy chaos that comes with trying to do life with y'all. Of times they will forget all of that and still treat him worse than an employer that will replace you within, within a week if you lose your job or get fired.

100%. And.

Greater respect for the state and employers than they do for the people, the men that's actually in their everyday lives.

Yeah. And it, it, it's so unfortunate because we have our faults. Like in the United States, like the Western world, we have our faults. We can talk about them. But generally speaking, this is the most just, free, open, comfortable society that has ever existed in the history of the world. The way they, the way they talk, like we're still in sending people to the gulags when they got OnlyFans links. The same people talking about how oppressed they are got OnlyFans links above grandma's picture right now on social media. And I'm like, it's not to say that violence doesn't happen, that there isn't crimes that are committed, of course, of course. But like the way in which it's framed, you would think there's been no progress over the last 40, 50 years.

Ah, man.

Yes. Oh, the, the sexual mores conversation is such an important one because it runs so much of our lives.

Yep.

It's a huge conversation and I, I think I have a lot of ideas about what went wrong there.

Like this is something I, so I've been doing a lot of research on, uh, marriage and, um, rituals of courtship and, and, and all that in ancient Rome and Viking era and I'm just, I'm a little nerd like that. I love it.

Listen, this right in our wheelhouse. Me, like me and my, uh, community here, we even have a separate, uh, group for movies and book clubs and sometimes we talk about conspiracy theories and everything. So we.

We go there. Yeah. Yeah.

So fun. Well, I think what was fundamentally, and, and listen, we can find faults where they exist and talk about them. Doesn't mean we have to crumble the whole system.

Correct. So one of the things that I think was unfortunate for women during, for example, the Roman era, the Republic, of like the early Roman era. So matrimony, matrimonium, that's where we get matrimony from, from mater. The idea of matrimony was really just about creating mothers. That's how the Romans saw it. There's one goal. We want to create mothers from unmarried women. How do we do this? Well, let's, let's get them married.

So what they did was, hey, women that that get married are for procreating and having babies and becoming mothers.

And I, I believe that this is the origins of the Madonna complex.

So.

You know, unmarried women that are Roman citizens are meant to be mothers. So that's what we do. But for pleasure and for actual lust and eroticism, we have concubines. We have slaves. We have, we have other women that we have fun with.

Yeah.

And these are these like kind of, you know, and then think about Christianity and how the Virgin Mary comes in and then we have this new archetype. Mothers are virginal. They're Mary. They're this like, you know, white cloth idealized woman.

So if you, if you live in a world like that where we have such an archetypal split.

You're either a mother.

Yeah.

Who, who, who is not desired by her husband.

Or you're, or you're a, a concubine who is desired but is not marriage material.

Facts.

Yeah.

And that sucks. It's, it's kind of like saying there are only nice guys that are like puppy dogs and doormats or murderers.

Y.

What?

Yep. Yeah, that's the choice. That's that's that's the choice. That's how that's how it's come off, too. I think that's how a lot of people see the market now.

Yeah. And so I'm like, uh, there's a whole other third way. There is the, um, and that's why, uh, Judeo-Christian, a Judeo-Christian mindset came in and and changed that and said, "Hey, actually the person you have sex with is the person you are, uh, procreate with. You, they're your companion in life. You co-create with them. You bring in the human soul. That's why we're, that's why we're different than the ancient Romans. That's why we're different than the Vikings. That's why we we have something different going on. So, we are the foundation of the West. Yeah.

Uh, and so fundamentally, I think feminists, the like the man-hating version, was like, oh, men don't allow my sexual fulfillment. Men suppress my like pleasure and my, um, uh, being desired, right?

Yep. And so then their solution to that is, well, let's have casual sex. And again, my answer to that, actually, that's not what you want. You just want a husband who doesn't see you as a virgin Mary. You want a husband who sees you as a sexual, beautiful, erotic woman that is both a mother and a lover and everything.

M. That's the deep desire.

Mhm.

I think. And, and, and I, and I appreciate that that concept of women wanting to be seen for their multi-multifaceted aspects versus just reduced to one role.

Yeah.

Because a lot of times you see it from both angles, actually. See it from the one angle with the ladies who don't want to just be seen as as, um, the mom or or a homemaker, right? Like they want to be desired after. And then on the flip side, you'll see women that got that in droves for years in their youth and then they want to get away from all of that to settle down with a guy who treasures them and sees them as special and more than just her body. And the reality is is like, I think that dual spectrum is inside of all ladies. It's just where they are in that spectrum. You'll get the ones that's fairly balanced. Um, but more often than not, by the time you're coming into the contact with her, she's usually on one end or the other end. And I'm like, that, that, that Madonna complex, I need to look more into that because that, and I see it now how it's the modern market has created created an environment for a lot of women to fit that hole because they're not.

They're not checking off the boxes that they historically would have checked out. Oh my god.

Right. Think about it. It's like, you know, everything's a reaction, right? The trad woman versus the like the, the more, you know, sexual scantily clad woman. And it's, it's.

Yeah, it's funny. This reminds me, there's this comedian, Leonatada something. She has this funny, um, like.

Oh, did, did she just break down the origins of Ho versus House?

Yes. Thanks. Oh my god, Scott, you are so right. This is. Oh, uh, chat, I mean, uh, com admins, you gotta make sure y'all clip this part up because this is, this definitely going to put this part out there. You are talking like this is, this is so true. Wow.

Wow. You know what? Question. What are some of the, um, biggest misconceptions that you think women have about men? Or what is it that you think they get wrong about guys?

Yeah. Um, well, and this shows up in my coaching too. Uh, just the, the, the idea that men are not emotional.

That breaks my heart. Men are so deeply emotional. Um, there were more men devastated when, like, for example, Irina Zerutska was stabbed on that bus, right? We all know that happened. Um, I think that hit men in the gut. That situation hit men so deeply that because it goes, it goes against their primal instinct. That primal instinct to defend against the enemy, to protect the perimeter. It's like, some man just stabs an innocent woman on a bus. This is, uh, like very, that was very emotional for men. It's almost like, I think women aren't, they just don't feel it as closely. They would feel something if, like, uh, again, something happened to their child. It's just a different way of way of thinking about emotions. And I think men just, uh, are so deeply emotional and understand emotion. And, um, I think they, they just don't want to talk about them in the moment that they happen. They don't want to. That's not how they process. That's not how it works for them. And, uh, they're, they want to go off and, you know, do some work on the in the garden or in the backyard. They want to process in that way.

And so I just think that's a big one.

Um.

I think, I think shame is probably the biggest misunderstanding women have about men.

Uh, I think we all feel feel shame just as humans, but men have what I would call double shame. Okay?

Because if something happened or there was sexual abuse or some traumatic incident, uh, men will go through that experience and feel the shame of it, and then they will have the, but it's my fault, and I'm supposed to be a man, so I was the one that was supposed to do something different, so it's clearly my fault that that would happen to me. There's the, the second layer of self-shaming that exists for men, which makes male shame really, um, dense and heavy in a way that female shame is just, is just not, it's just not the same.

And I think women don't understand the amount of shame that men carry day to day in their lives.

Wow. And just how heavy it is for them to, um, to carry it.

So, yeah, that's one.

I appreciate these. And one I'll throw out there just to see what your thoughts are about it. I think relationally, women are coming to grips with an environment where men, they've thought for a long time that men weren't allowed to have standards when it came to women.

I think that for a long time, they, they were taught a language and words to use to counter and push back against men having standards when it came to relationships.

Um, so, so think of it this way. They weaponized every form of any standard men had when they came to the type of woman that they were looking for for a long-term companionship, potentially seeing the mother of their child, risking everything with the state, if it was something she couldn't live up to or was something she did that she wasn't proud of. Call that as sexist, misogynist, um, uh, anti-women, um, you know, you name it. They, they were coming up with all the, you're, uh, what's it called, um, insecure. They have all these go-to words whenever guys say, "I don't date women that do this or have this or bring this to the table." It's like, ladies' entire worldview is filled with demand and and opinions and perspectives and boundaries and standards of what type of men you do and don't want.

And now with the internet, and now with more and more men recognizing that we need to recognize the types of women that may be more compatible for long-term commitment or ones that may be more for having fun.

Yeah.

When we're making those distinctions, you can't, you could try to guilt and shame men into this, but it's not working. It's not put, it's not working anymore. And I think a lot of women have a misconception when they're younger and they get older, that men are allowed to have standards, even ones that you're not able to check off or live up to anymore. And that's been, I think, very jarring for ladies. And he's not misogynist. That's the crazy part. Like they, in their worldview, those guys have to be all in the anti-women category. And it's like, no, it, it, it's just, it's like, I think that's been a huge, huge misconception for a lot of ladies that they're waking up to, often like very late.

Absolutely. And to, to be honest, this is where the like the men's rights conversation comes in. And I, this is why again, I bring up Paul Elam. I, I really respect Paul Elam and his work because he's focused on, let's, let's talk about what's happening in the courts. Let's talk about what's happening in the media. Let's talk about what's happening in the legal system.

So, a, a big reason as to why it's so jarring for women these days is because of gamma bias. Have you heard of that?

I have not. What's that?

So, gamma bias is basically this, uh, Martin Seager is a psychotherapist that, um, coined this term. And they did a lot of research on what's been happening over the past three, four decades in terms of the way we talk about men versus the way we talk about women in the media. And gamma bias, as opposed to alpha bias or beta bias, which alpha bias says that sex differences are hyperexaggerated, in that like it's the, it's just the, if we stay in the human animal too long, it's like hyperexaggerated. Beta bias is when sex differences are minimized. Gamma bias is basically when we exaggerate some behaviors and we minimize others. So what we've done in media is, is twofold.

Mhm.

We celebrate women's accomplishments and we don't talk about women when they mess up. We keep it quiet.

Yes. Yes.

Guess what we do to men? When men accomplish things, we keep it quiet. But when they mess up, we blast.

The loudest thing on the. Oh my god. This explains the sisterhood in public affairs and actions where for the life of me, I could not get and understand that sociological dynamic where when ladies seeing other women doing something wrong, especially high-profile ones, they say nothing or they even celebrate that.

Yep.

And, and it's like, you know, and I'm like, why are they ignoring this and downplaying acting like this is not happening and this is not an issue? And then when these one-off examples happen with these random guys, this is see this is men. This is men. I'm like, oh my gosh. And they're doing it in both.

They're doing it in the reverse from both sides.

Yes.

They're doing it in the reverse on both sides. And it's when you start to look into it, you, it, it becomes jarring, right? There are 15 in the UN alone, there are 15, um, uh, different organizations and support groups for women. There is zero for men.

Yes. Right.

Yes. Homeless shelters, the discrepancy is through the roof. Oh, wow.

And it's like men have been doing a lot of amazing things to celebrate. We just don't talk about it. So therefore, the perception for women is that men, you know, are doing all these bad things. And again, if you guys haven't read it, you should read the, um, "Why Men Behave Badly" book by David Buss, Dr. David Buss, evolutionary psychotherapist. And he talks about how when we talk about rape or we talk about, you know, male violence, we talk about it like, you know, 200, there were 200 rapes, for example. We talk about that.

Oh, let's say grapes, by the way.

Let's say grapes. Grapes. Yeah.

Mhm.

Um, but what they leave out in the headline is one man that did that did them all.

Because what they want us to hear is it was 200. What they leave out is it was one man. That is one man. That is 1% of narcissistic, psychopathic human who, to be honest with you, has, like most men have way more in common with any woman than with that dude.

Yes. Yes. And, and what's wild is the stats are starting to become staggering because the way in which they cover this information when it comes to DV violence, when it, which is actually often bidirectional, and then also with those type of stats, we're now seeing, and I'm not going to throw the number out there exact, I don't know if it's now one in three or one in five, but the, the numbers of boys who are now being sexually assaulted when they're young, and often by female perpetrators when they're young, either because they're older or older family member, these numbers are now starting to get out of whack too, to where the narratives that we all kind of grew up used to was this is primarily something that happens just to women and girls. And I'm like, this is the furthest thing from the truth. But the way in which it's covered, it's not even, it's not even acknowledged to where it's like, you know, like you said, the shelters, the, like, even when people bring up the need for them, you'll see people attacked.

Because they're like, and I forgot the lady's name, I wish I knew off the top of my head. She was one of the first people to push for shelters for like women and domestic violence victims or something like that. And she actually advocated and pushed for a second one for boys and men. And that same group attacked her.

Yeah.

Attacked her. Oh, man.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. This is. Listen, I'm already held you over an hour and I knew I wasn't going to hold. I got a whole another set of questions. Um, I'm going to ask you at least two more and we definitely part two. I have to bring you on one of these panels because the, the books that you've dropped, I, I got some work to do because this is, this is so, so helpful. So, why don't women like, uh, why don't women want the nice guy?

'Cause he's a liar.

Really?

'Cause that dude is a liar. Yeah. Um, I think that, um, actually, I wrote an essay about this, uh, basically like, you know, I, I have compassion for the, you know, women and the trauma and the, the group think that comes through with feminism, like we can talk about it. But a male feminist, that is the worst thing ever because, you know, that he is just manipulating the situation. Um, I think the reality is that a man who, like, is quote unquote a nice guy, in that he always wants to please and always wants to say yes and always wants to defer to her.

He's, he's someone that doesn't have his center.

He is a man who is extremely disconnected from who he is. He is really quite traumatized. And there's a lot of compassion for this, this man, the nice guy, and that he doesn't clearly, either it happened with mom or dad or someone wasn't around and he didn't get his needs met as a child.

And so then he outsourced his approval to his mother or other women in his world. And it was like, oh, you know, my dad's not around, so at least let, let me get mom to like me. Oh, mom doesn't like when I'm angry. Okay, I won't be angry. Oh, mom doesn't like when I do that. Okay, I won't do that. And that translates to his adult life. And so then he basically thinks that his, his whole identity is around whether a woman likes him or not.

Oh man, you, you talking about the simp? Oh my goodness. The simps are everywhere. And to be fair, Rolo Tomassi, you know, one of the godfathers in the red pill community, he said, "Listen, we, we've all simped at different points in time, but at some point, you kind of have to learn and recognize that validation has to start to become from inward.

It has to. You cannot be so oriented around constantly living, not just for the approval of others, but especially for the approval of women." Because like you said, you have to debase who you are in your biology to such a degree to where I, I played it about a week or two ago. There was one man that was saying he don't want to be a leader in his marriage. He, he has no problem taking a submissive position. And I'm like, each couple gets to decide, you know, who, whose strengths are where and who gets to lead in what area. But he said he just flat out doesn't want to be the leader in his marriage. And I'm like, listen, egalitarian, cool if that's what works for y'all. If you want to lead, cool, as a man. But this idea of a man not wanting to lead or or or be in that role in a way is like, I, I never thought I would actually hear that before.

So interesting. Well, you know, some people, I think this also comes down to our, you know, our sacred sexual energy. It's a, it's kind of going a little off here, but the idea is that, you know, we all, it's very clear. If you close your eyes right now for just everyone listening, just close your eyes for a second, like take a deep breath, and you picture yourself like laying in bed with your lover, and it's basically, are you the one that's being cuddled, or are you the one that's doing the holding and the cuddling?

Which one is it? It's a very clear, like instinct, like gut instinct. Most men will say like they're the ones that are doing the holding. They're the ones that are containing her. Most women are like, "Oh, I want to feel like the little girl, like, you know, being cuddled by my man." Right?

Some people don't have that instinct. They're a little more asexual. Some people don't have that, like desire for polarity and desire to kind of be one of those two roles. Those are the types of people that more often find themselves in that more like egalitarian, like my partner is my best friend, kind of only my partner is just my best friend, right? We don't have a sexual dimension to our relationship that is sacred and, you know, very intense and beautiful. So.

Wow.

Sometimes it's, sometimes I don't know. That's my, uh, observation I've made about people that I've met. So, it might be that dude that you're talking about.

And again, like there, there's, for the sake of time, I'm not gonna get off tangent. There's one question I know I had to ask you. Okay.

Uh, thoughts on, uh, sex after the first date, pros and cons. I want to hear this for sure because, and the reason why I want to ask this question is because I think the market has changed to where women that prolong that from happening for long and lengthy periods of time don't have the the historical leverage that women previous to them had. Whereas before, making men wait meant far more when it was harder to access and it was harder to get married. I'm like, it's, it's, it's not hard to get access to sex in a variety of different ways today. And I don't know that it means as much today as now. I'm not recommending women do it on the first date, but I'm, but I'm not sure that women making men wait means the same thing it meant even 50 years ago.

Totally. Yeah, I get that.

I, I think it comes down to intention and, uh, what is the purpose of sex?

Mhm.

You know, you, I go deep, right? Maybe a 16-year-old isn't going to go this deep. A 16-year-old is just going to, you know, this boy likes me. Oh, I think he'll like me more if I have sex with him. It's, it's just a little, it's a different mindset. But if we're coming from a little bit of a mature mindset and that you, you know, you're in your 20s, you're in your 30s, like, what is the point of, what is the purpose of sex? M we're, if we're in the human animal, it's different than if we're in the human soul.

Mhm.

So I, I feel like, uh, Louise Perry wrote a book, "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution."

That book is upstairs in my house as, as we speak. I wish I had it down here. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but go ahead. I don't want to spoil it. What do you think?

No, I, yeah, I, I also believe that the birth control pill ruined relation is one of the factors that has ruined relationships between men and women.

M. Um, the first time we, we broke something that was working, whereas before that, medicine and science was all about fixing things that were broken, right? Penicillin, uh, antibiotics, like surgery, we, we fix things that are broken. The birth control pill broke something that was working.

Um.

Uh, the female body, female hormones, a woman's immune system, a woman's womb, a woman's psyche as it relates to her monthly cycle, the moon and how it relates to a woman. There's a, a beautiful quote about, uh, like the human woman is the only, the is the only creature on earth chosen to regenerate with the cycles of the moon.

It's mythical. It's poetic, but man, I like it and I'm sticking to it. And to like devalue and, um, belittle the sacredness that exists there, I think is, um, unfortunate. And it's an, it's a situation in which women have influenced for bad. Women have the opportunity to be influential for good. And again, that's not to say that there isn't manipulation that happens, like you're talking about, like women that are actually disconnected from their body and the desire in their hearts to have sacred, meaningful sex with the man of their life, right? That is generally what women want. Um, women that say yes, I want to be cuddled in that question I asked earlier, that's what they want.

Um.

There are plenty of women that are disconnected from that, uh, and want to use sex as a bargaining chip or a manipulation tool. That doesn't work. Then you might as well just have sex because that's never going to work for you.

Um, and so it's kind of like, I think just because things happen and just because kids make mistakes when they're 16 or 18 or whatever, doesn't mean we should change our whole society and our whole structure for things happen.

We should be aiming towards a higher ideal, uh, the like the sacred, the beautiful, um, and that's the beauty of mono, of, um, monotheism, as opposed to the, the ancient Romans. It's like men have to do this, too. Men actually, their human animal tells them they can have casual sex way easier than women. It's way easier for them to have sex and not be emotional about it.

But their self-restraint and their stoicism and their, uh, commitment to the higher good keeps them from doing so.

Mhm. Mhm.

And shouldn't that be the ideal that we are striving towards?

With that, yeah, with that, sex on the first date is a terrible idea. In short, Perry's, uh, book, um, with her critique of like sexual liberation, uh, she actually points out how of the harm of women reporting higher rates of of emotional harm.

Yes. After the fact, after the first, after the first, like a one, a one-night stand, how she'll say that they're reporting higher rates of depression, anxiety, um, um, and just a whole host of different mental health issues. And I'm like, I, I just don't think when you're, when your neurochemistry works the way that it does, is as fine-tuned as it is, you can keep saying that we're blank slate, everybody's equal, we're all like, you're, you're genetically, biologically not designed. Like if we say human beings probably aren't. Women for sure are not designed to keep doing meaningless sex with a, a range and large volume of people. It's just, she's just not. And, and it's unfortunate that like a lot of ladies got to go to church after 10, 20 years, u, of trying to prove this theory wrong to realize like, you're, you're more than likely not, you know, or, or, and it's like, even the women who can suppress it 90% of the time, not always, but 90% of the time, um, something happened, something happened in their past for why that's an area that's almost broken to where, yeah, I'm like, I don't know why. Yeah.

It's, if you, if you ever listen to a, um, uh, like a former prostitute or anyway, you'll hear them talk about that, like, uh, it's, it's, it's a heavy amount of trauma that suppressed their, um, mind, body, womb connection.

And, um.

Why would you want that?

Because they don't, they want everything men got and can do. Uh, that's what they, you know, that's what, because there's no, there's nothing that men can do that women don't want to be allowed to do as well, unless it's not to benefit the women, unless they perceive it not being a benefit to women. So none of them are signed up to change the drafting laws, right? They're not. No women, no women are signed up to be like, you know what, we want exact 50/50 in bricklaying and and construction and this and like, they, they don't, they don't, and they're not going to advocate for it. So, this is an area where they still have yet to understand that. Um, and I don't know what to do about it because I'm like, I, I, I don't, I also don't want to lean so heavy with the government getting more involved in this area.

Um, I know, I, I would like the government to reduce some of the incentives that's helping contribute to this, but the idea of like crackdowns and all these legal stuff consequences for people, like people, adults are going to do what they're going to do.

It's just unfortunate that I felt like, and I said it last night when I was talking to my other guest, I was almost wondering if this is going to be a lost generation of women that are going to wake up one day and realize they were lied to.

And that and that genetically and biologically, it's too late for them to do anything about it.

Yeah. And that I'm terrified of that day when a large volume of women in the next 10 to 15 years realizes it's over. And the, and the opportunity that they, that they could have had for 20s and 30s, if not early 40s, is now officially off the table.

Totally.

Um. Yeah. Yeah.

It's, you know, it's everything, right? It's the inner work. It's the, um, like, you know, there's a woman I, I love dropping the books. Uh, Stacey Eldridge, she is the wife of John Eldridge, who wrote the book for men, "Wild at Heart." I don't know if you've heard of that book.

She wrote a book for women called "Captivating."

Okay.

And it's a beautiful book because it connects a woman's sensual, sexual essence to her beauty and her allure and her, uh, real magnetism. And, and the idea is that like her discernment and her sexuality and her beauty, they're all one and the same.

Yes. Yeah.

And, um, that's kind of like the Helen of Troy factor.

Like that's the woman men were like starting wars over, right?

Listen, a whole lot of wars don't need to be started nowadays because this is because guys ain't even getting, a lot of guys don't even get married at all. Like, let alone go into battle for women. And it's like, and the wild part is, ladies still don't know when they say, "Where's all the good guys? Where, where, men aren't gentlemen anymore? Where chivalry is dead?" Who y'all think killed it? Who y'all think gave it away to where guys don't want to feel like they got to work for them? Oh man, one day they'll wake up.

Be powerful. Women are so powerful and influential. They don't even understand. Like everything women do has an effect.

Yes.

And we are living the effect of what women have done. And so if we want a different effect, women have to do a different action. And so that's it.

Wow. Wow. Listen, so I've kept you for long enough. Um, I definitely will definitely like to welcome you back. Whether it's another one-on-one, just random, maybe trending things, or or panels. I absolutely love this conversation. I can't wait to rewatch it and write down all the books that you told me so I could be really prepared next time we talk. Um, why don't you let everybody know, um, where they can find and support you and then also your overall feeling about coming on the show for the first time.

Yeah. Oh, I love it. Um, well, first off, thanks so much for listening, everyone. I've loved everyone's comments and I just, I love this stuff and I can't wait to talk about it more. Uh, you can find me on my YouTube channel, Anya Shack, A-N-Y-A S-H-A-C-K. And, um, yeah, that's my, my, uh, podcast is called Ancient Intelligence. So my, my, my mission is really all about it's like the, the anti-artificial intelligence. I'm like, let's go back to the ancient, like ritual meaning, like what the hell are we here for? And again, babies is number one, and so everything that goes around it. So you can find me on YouTube. Um, you can, um, find me on Instagram, Ancient Intelligence as well. I, um, post on Instagram as well. And, uh, I just love it. I love what you're doing here, Jeff. I love the questions. I appreciate the variety of guests and I, I love how you're just doing it all. Like, let's do trending topics, let's do that. That's one of my favorite things, too, just talking about culture and, um, how our culture can be an amazing, uh, tool to help us understand where we're at as a society.

Now, me, I got to get better at the trending topics because by the time I, I get to it, it's like, it's too late. It's way past the fact because I, I also don't like to rush my thoughts.

Yeah.

Right. So, I'm in that weird strange place where like, I can get the interviews down every so often, I'll get a really good interesting topic, but I want to get to like, what's trending, what's current. So maybe, you know, if I reach out to you, that'll kind of whip me into, whip me into shape and be like, "All right, Anya's coming in in three days. Let me get ready for this."

Don't overthink it because that kind of gets us into like our always-on economy, which kind of sucks as well. It's like, the devil's advocate for a second, like maybe it's better to just take the bird's eye and, and, like how you've been doing things is so beautiful and, you know, certain cultural topics that really pop. I love that. Like, for example, the, uh, the officer that was given that medal of honor, um, and he, like, for his mission in Venezuela. I'd say that was like a peak male moment, right? That was like a peak male celebration moment. That was awesome because we don't get a lot of those.

Yes. Yeah.

And so stuff like that. Um, but yeah, anyway, just saying that.

No, thank you for that. And, and you're right because I, I'm constantly putting my myself through pressure to always keep performing and keep doing this stuff. And I do want to do it, but, you know, I'll integrate it when I do, if, you know, it makes sense. So, listen, everybody that's currently watching, please make sure that you follow Anya on her respective platforms, both on YouTube and on Instagram. You're on Substack as well, right?

I do. Yeah, I have a Substack. I have a new weekly newsletter and I'm writing more and more in-depth researched essays now, too.

Yeah, I'm hoping to start one once I announce a future project that's I'm working on currently. Um, because I don't have a Substack yet. But listen, y'all, if you loved her content, please make sure that you follow and support her for sure. And make sure that you comment in her videos that ask her brother or Jeff sent you. And thank you for coming. I really appreciate this. I'm definitely going to be inviting you again. And, uh, who knows, you know, you may, you may invite me soon where we can have like this, a couple times a month, um, where, you know, what me and your audience is, who knows, because I, listen, Mother Russia, a lot of people don't know about me yet. So, and like, Eastern European area. Listen, I would love to be introduced to that, to that audience for sure. For sure.

Okay.

Thanks again. And, um, you know, I'll see you soon.

Okay, bye, y'all.

All right, y'all. So listen, I hope that y'all genuinely enjoyed that. I, I just, the fire, the, the, the references, the books, the things, like I just love, love, love every so often having moments like this where people prick certain things, give me new ideas and, and give me a long list of books that I got to work through between now and the summer. But, um, I'm excited because this is what it is that I've been wanting to do, um, for years, and I, and it's wild that I'm actually really getting to do it. And I'm constantly learning, constantly talking, constantly listening. And I, I think that's the goal of this channel, is of the many goals, is just to, um, learn like you all are learning and constantly be exposed to new information, new people, new personalities, and new approaches to understanding old things. And, and I think that this was a great, great week so far. Um, just with the wide vine range and variety of guests that's been coming through, especially in this last seven days, six, seven days. We had a warrior. We had, um, former educators. This, this is, this is fire, man. So, so thank you to everybody that's been supporting the channel, the brand. Highly, highly, highly again recommend that you guys follow her, especially on Instagram and YouTube. Definitely follow her Substack if you want to, um, definitely get connected with her and stay more in tune with a lot of her projects and work pieces. For sure. So guys, if you have not, please make sure you're a subscriber. Share this with two, three, four, even five people. The last two interview interviews that I just did with, uh, Black Spider Guy, as far as his advice, as well as, um, Rachel Doja. Uh, please make sure to hype it up. I think the hypes are now eligible or that you can start hyping the videos up. So please share, please hype it up each week. That's all that I ask. And then last but not least, if you're not a member, what are you waiting on? Membership for YouTube to support the brand and the channel so you don't have to constantly hit super chats and go broke is $2.99. So just by becoming a member, that is the number one easiest way to support the brand and channel. So, um, you know, make sure you're a subscriber, make sure you share, make sure you're a member. And last but not least, we have group, uh, movie book clubs on Mondays at 8:30 Eastern Standard Time. We're currently going through "Lovecraft Country." We have our men's virtual self-improvement group on Tuesdays at 7:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. And then obviously, Men's Table is this particular Wednesday. And I believe our Ladies' Table may actually be this upcoming Monday. The topic and the people who are going to be engaging and participating in that, stay tuned because I'm super, super excited. So guys, that's the goal. That's the request. Please become a member if you're not. Please share this stuff. And please make sure that you like and subscribe and just continue to engage. And I hope you guys are all enjoying it. So, thank you to everybody. And listen, y'all have a good, uh, day until I see those of you that want to tune in later tonight for Men's Table. Talk to y'all soon and see y'all on the other side. Peace.