المهر - الحلقة 3

[Music] Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, knew that some people wanted to propose to Fatima, the daughter of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him. So he wanted to propose to her, but he hesitated. He said, "I do not have much money to marry her." Then he gathered his courage, may Allah be pleased with him, and went to the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him. He said, "I went to him, peace be upon him, and we used to revere and magnify him. When I sat before him, I was speechless, so much so that I could not speak." Then he, peace be upon him, said, "Do you have any need?" Ali remained silent. He, peace be upon him, said it three times, "Do you have any need?" Then he, peace be upon him, said, "Perhaps you have come to propose to Fatima." Ali said, "Yes, O Messenger of Allah." He said, "Do you have anything to give as her dowry?" I said, "No, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah." Then he, peace be upon him, said, "Where is your Dhafran armor that I gave you on such and such a day?" Ali said, "It is with me." He, peace be upon him, said, "Then give it to her." This was the dowry of the mistress of the women of this Ummah. The woman is entitled to a dowry upon marriage. This dowry is a right for the woman, not for her father, nor her brother, nor anyone from her family. It is solely her right. The dowry is also called the Mahr. Allah the Almighty says, "And give the women [upon marriage] their [due] portions [as a duty]. But if they give up willingly to you, then take it and enjoy it in pleasure." It is not stipulated that the dowry must be gold or silver. Anything that has monetary value can be a dowry. It could be gold or silver, or paper currency like the dollar. It could be a house or a car. It could be a book or clothing. The dowry could also be a benefit. For example, the dowry could be to transport the woman to Mecca for Hajj, or for the husband to teach his wife knowledge or verses from the Quran, or other such benefits. Then, the dowry can be immediate or deferred. Immediate means it is not deferred. How can the dowry be deferred? If the deferral is mentioned in the contract, then the dowry is deferred. If the deferral is mentioned, then the deadline must be known, deferred for a year, for example, or deferred for five years. According to Al-Shafi'i, the deadline must be known. It is not enough to just say deferred without mentioning the duration of the deferral. The deadline must be known. If the deferral is not mentioned in the contract, if it is not stated in the contract that the dowry is deferred, then the dowry is immediate. If the dowry is immediate, then the woman can demand it from the man whenever she wishes. But if it is deferred, she cannot demand it before the deadline. So, if the dowry is deferred, for example, for two years, she cannot demand the dowry before the two years have passed. From this, it is understood that according to Al-Shafi'i, the occurrence of divorce is not a condition for the woman to be able to demand the dowry from the man. Either the dowry is immediate, in which case she can demand it whenever she wishes, or it is deferred, in which case she cannot demand it before the deadline. If divorce occurs before consummation, then the woman is entitled to half the dowry. If consummation did not occur, she is entitled to half the dowry, not the whole dowry, and not more than half. There is no limit to the dowry that cannot be exceeded in Sharia. The dowry of a woman can be a very large amount of money, as understood from the Almighty's saying, "And if you want to replace a wife with another wife and you have given one of them a qintar, do not take [back] from it anything." A qintar is a lot of money. But what is better? Is it better for the dowry of a woman to be very large, or not? Many people desire their daughters' dowries to be large, considering that this shows the man's sincerity in his desire for the woman, and it is a guarantee and protection for the woman and an honor for her. But if we look at what is better in Sharia, the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said, "The best dowry is the easiest [for the husband]." This is what is best. For this reason, our master Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, did not like extravagance in dowry. He did not like the dowry to be very high. He used to say that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, did not marry nor did he marry his daughters for more than twelve ounces. An ounce is forty dirhams of silver. So, twelve ounces is approximately less than one and a half kilograms of silver, meaning in our time it is close to $1000. Umar said, "The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, did not marry nor did he marry his daughters for more than twelve ounces." If it were disliked, he would have been more deserving of it. The Prophet, peace be upon him, would have raised the dowry more than that. The concern for a woman is not by making her dowry very high, but by marrying her to someone who fears Allah, the Almighty, and is keen to fulfill her rights and not wrong her. Marry her to someone who knows the religion and knows what is upon him and what is against him, as Al-Hasan Al-Basri advised when asked whom to marry his daughter to. He told him, "Marry her to one who fears Allah. If he loves her, he will honor her, and if he dislikes her, he will not wrong her." This is how you can be reassured about your daughter. And how many women have we seen whose dowry was made high, and the man was absolved of it, and she was begging him to divorce her, or she even paid him more than he paid so that he would divorce her to get rid of him. And her dowry had been made thousands, perhaps even millions. And one should not burden himself with what is difficult for him to bear, as we see some young people today committing to a large dowry that exceeds their financial means and what they can obtain according to custom. And from Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, that a man came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, informing him that he had married a woman from the Ansar. And in the hadith, he, peace be upon him, asked him, "For how much did you marry her?" meaning, "How much did you make her dowry?" He said, "For four ounces," meaning 160 dirhams. This man did not have this amount of money. So the Prophet, peace be upon him, said to him, "For four ounces, as if you are carving silver from the side of this mountain." As if you are cutting silver from this mountain. He, peace be upon him, disapproved in relation to the man's situation, as he did not have that money, so he put himself in hardship. This indicates the dislike of excessive dowry in relation to the husband's situation. And this is something that may lead to problems between the spouses. Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said, "And one of you may be extravagant with his wife's dowry until it becomes an enmity in his heart towards her, meaning until he becomes hostile towards her in his heart, and something arises in his heart against her when paying that dowry due to its heaviness upon him at that time, or when he thinks in detail about what he has entered into and committed himself to because of her." Umar said, "And he says, 'You have burdened me with a heavy task that is difficult for me to bear because of you.'" And Bukhari narrated that a man from the companions wanted to marry a woman, and the Prophet, peace be upon him, said to him, "Do you have anything to give her as a dowry?" He said, "No." He, peace be upon him, said, "Look." He went and then returned. He said, "By Allah, I found nothing." He, peace be upon him, said, "Go and seek, even if it is an iron ring." The man went and then returned and said, "By Allah, not even an iron ring." The man was wearing a garment. He said, "Let my garment be her dowry." The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "If you wear your garment, there will be nothing left for you from it, and if you wear it, there will be nothing left for her from it." The man moved away and sat down. The Prophet, peace be upon him, saw him turning away and ordered him to be called. He said, "What do you have of the Quran?" The man said, "Such and such a surah." He, peace be upon him, said, "I have married you to her for what you have of the Quran," meaning he made her dowry that he would teach her surahs from the Quran. And how great is this dowry! The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, does not love to protect the women of his Ummah, nor does he love to honor them. Nevertheless, when we look at his situation in his marriage and in marrying his daughters and other Muslim women, his view and concern were not about extravagance. And upon him, his family, and his companions be peace. Ramadan is the opportunity of a lifetime and a light in the expanse of time, and it recounts the gentleness of the river. In it is the Night of Decree, a light in our evenings, and it erases our sorrows and flows in our eyes. And from it is the splendor of dawn.