Transcription
Ryan: I am obsessed with tiny homes. Probably because I'm 5'8" and need a stepladder to get into my dad's truck. But today I'm going to the most amazing, luxurious tiny homes I could find in America.
Howdy! I'm in New York City. I have always wanted to sleep in one of those tiny New York City apartments. I feel like they get romanticized all the time. And these reviews definitely reinforce that: "Smart room that maximizes small space. A little piece of heaven with a rooftop bar and coffee and pastries served by exceedingly kind humans." That review feels a little suspiciously positive to me. I don't know. "I feel like a giant in here, but a wealthy giant who inherited a small fortune and takes weekend trips to New York." "Lovely Alley way." Okay. Apparently, to get to this luxury tiny home, you gotta go through an alleyway. But I'm happy to hear it's lovely. We should probably just go.
I entered the alleyway and I was happy to find that it is, in fact, lovely. But the real test lies inside this building. It's in there. I got my room key on the seventh floor and walked into our first of many luxury tiny homes. Whoa! This place is really nice, but it's actually the cheapest one that I'm going to. Yeah, I'm going around the country to the coolest tiny homes I could possibly find. Let's just say this video is gonna blow some minds, specifically my own. And in the meantime, I'm gonna try to touch both walls of this New York City apartment. I'm not a very big person. This room is very small, but the layout is genius. This apartment is a quaint 135ft². Yet somehow they've managed to include all of this stuff. Oh, where are you? Where are you going, buddy? Come on back! There you go. I mean, the fact that I can show you the entire room in one angle, that's... That says a lot. But it really does make the most of the space. Look at this luggage storage! That's fun. I love that. That makes me feel like a responsible adult. We got a cute little stool. What is this? A little table? It's a TV. Very fancy sink area with one of these light up mirrors. That says a lot about the demographic that's spending money here. This is the most handsome I've ever felt. Actually, I feel really handsome. This bathroom's a little small. So this apartment is amazing. Yes. But one thing is, I wanna show you that I packed these.
Shrek Crocs. I'm sure you guys saw it, but Airbnb literally built Shrek's Swamp and I requested to book it. Look at these images! I need to go there. But one thing's for sure these Shrek Crocs will not grace my feet unless they are stepping foot on soil soaked in Donkey do. I'm sorry! I lost my temper. It says Donkey is literally the host of the Airbnb. It's also in Scotland. I love marketing in the 21st century. It's a long shot, but I can dream. Okay? In the meantime, I'm gonna enjoy my tiny New York City apartment and all of its amenities.
Here's what luxury looks like in New York City: an awkward 15 minutes alone, sitting by a rooftop bar. An absurd view of the Empire State Building. Pretending to be a local, and buying a slice of pepperoni pizza. I FaceTimed Spock and he immediately started begging for my food. He is ridiculous. I considered buying this shirt. Then for some reason, I didn't. I finished up my night watching cartoons at my little table, and then I went to bed, because I have to wake up early. To get to my next tiny home.
After a few hours of travel, I made it to the next city. That's right, people. Atlanta. But this next tiny home is in the middle of nowhere. Which means... Oh, yeah. This baby's purring. As you guys know, there's nothing I love more than a rental car. I love sending photos to my dad saying, just got a new car. He believes it every time. It's so funny. This next luxury tiny home is insane. It's also in the woods, in the middle of nowhere. Oh, fancy. Look how pretty that is! How tiny is this home? I don't wanna miss it. Oh, my gosh! I'm sorry! I should really show you. Guys, we're not in New York anymore. I think. I know you might be thinking, hey, Ryan, that's not that luxury. It's a black little tiny house. When you guys see what's on the other side, you're gonna lose your marbles. Just for reference, here are a few of the reviews of this place. "I came here by myself. I'm colorblind." I'm not sure how that's relevant, but... "How is this marketed as a tiny house, but the shower big enough to shower a large family. Tiny home with a bed fit for a king. Tiny home but the TV felt like the movies. This is tiny home. I'm microscopic. I would never leave. Hot tub was only quite warm." The point is, this luxury tiny home has a lot of things to be excited about, and I can't wait to go inside. Oh, my luggage. Oh, my gosh! I entered the code they gave me and it didn't work. I think I'm at the wrong cabin. Okay, I found another one. Attempt 2. Hello? Oh, my... I put the code in this door and it worked. Yay! I'm excited. Uh, yeah. This is much bigger than the New York apartment, but it's still only one bed, one bath. This is what the house layout looks like. This is obviously a really efficient room. The kitchen is great. Is there a fridge? Give me a fridge! Boom! There's a fridge. Breast milk? Oh, that's a dishwasher. Hot cocoa in the hot tub? I can make that work. This bathroom. Come on! I feel bad for the colorblind guy. This tile is gorgeous. Oh, I'm putting that on tonight. There's also this completely unbelievable outdoor area. Not only is there an outdoor shower, a hot tub, and the perfect amount of chairs to make me miss my wife, there's also this hammock thing. Oh! Oh! This is all amazing. But I think the reason that this place can be called a luxury tiny home is this gosh darn view. Oh, that is just quite warm. I spent the next hour just figuring out how this place works. The technology in here is crazy. Yeah, I'm watching Mr. Beast on that tonight. I picked up some famous Atlanta chicken on the way here. So this is gonna be my dinner tonight. Dinner is served. I'm also just watching Mr. Beast on this projector with the craziest view in the background of my life. Airbnb is still not gotten back to me about Shrek's Swamp. I packed these crocs in faith. Okay? I'm gonna be devastated if I can't wear these in this video. This was genuinely one of my favorite nights of my life. You know why this experience is so cool? Because luxury means different things to different people. You guys hear that noise? You know what that sound is? Absolutely nothing. Now that's luxury after New York City. I made hot cocoa. It's more like quite warm cocoa at this point, unfortunately. Hot tub is kind of gross me out. Yeah. I'm gonna miss this place. However, I'm off to the next tiny home.
Next thing I knew, I found myself on a flight to a way more expensive and luxurious house.
Ryan? Good. Baltimore.
Ryan: First time.
Driver: Oh, yeah?
Ryan: Yeah. That's the listing. I'm actually headed to a harbor right now. This is the Ravens Stadium?
Driver: Yes.
Ryan: Oh, I'm a Texans fan.
Driver: Oh!
Ryan: Guys, I have made it to luxury tiny home 3. However, this luxury tiny home is not a home at all. It's a boat. How crazy is this? If you look at the satellite of this dock, you can see literal superyachts are docked in this harbor. We're in some wealthy territory, folks. There's a huge yacht right there. But this might be the coolest boat on this dock. Listen to these reviews! "I felt so fancy on this boat. I don't need to go to an island. There's already one in the kitchen. If you want an experience you'll remember for the rest of your life, go on the rooftop at night, look at the skyline and think about your dreams!" That was the most beautiful review I've ever read. Hannah immediately killed the vibe though. "House wouldn't stop moving." It's a boat. Anyways, enough chit-chat. Let's go check it out! So at first, this place really just looks like a nice apartment, until you look outside and realize your neighbors are boats. Is there even such thing as a landlord here? Floating on water. So this houseboat is 325ft². Oh, gosh! That's not good. Oh! Thank goodness! Okay. Let's continue with the tour! You have a nice living room with a TV, a kitchen with everything you need. Really. A really big bedroom. And somehow there's also a really big bathroom. Ooh! Another robe. So this tiny home is obviously amazing on its own, but I think the real claim to fame as we read in the reviews: the rooftop. Oh, boy! A spiral staircase. Please be awesome! Please be awesome! Oh my gosh, it's awesome. Man, I can't wait to come up here at nighttime with a white robe and think about my dreams. Guys, before I go get dinner, I think I need to come clean. If you've been paying close attention throughout this video, you'll notice something very strange about me. I've been carrying a water bottle every single day. That's, I know: "What does he mean by that? That's so weird". This wasn't by mistake. That was intentional product placement. Because this video is sponsored by Airwrap. Ever since I got my Airwrap, I've been drinking so much more water. And that's because of this guy. You see that? It's called a flavor pot. It gives your water taste through scent. I know you're thinking: "Ryan, that sounds a little crazy. Okay? I don't...I don't know if I trust you". To prove that it works, I'm gonna let a stranger try it out. It's like flavors the water through scent.
Guy: Okay.
Ryan: So you're gonna try it on camera. You tell me if it works. You can be honest.
Guy: Yeah, I'll be honest.
Ryan: Okay. Regular water.
Guy: Yep.
Ryan: Pretty good. All right, now here's the flavor water.
Guy: All right.
Guy: Oh, yeah!
Ryan: Oh, yeah!
Guy: That's weird though. It's like, I smell it. Now I taste it.
Ryan: Yeah. Hopefully that went well. The point is, if I'm in boss mode, like strictly business, I just push down the pod and you get regular tasting water. But when I'm in vacation mode, I'm at the doc's baby. I just lift the pod up and boom, my water tastes like I paid for it. And I kind of did because Airwrap cost money. But I have a deal for you. You can use code "TINY" at checkout for 10% off your Airwrap. And I am going to eat crab at this restaurant. Apparently Baltimore is known for crab. Nothing screams luxury like going for a fishy walk to a restaurant called Rusty Scupper. Does anyone know if this is a real crab? That's...that's scary. If so, my dinner was yummy, but the rooftop was calling my name. I'm up here on the rooftop of this luxury tiny home boat, and I'm just praying. I'm not gonna tell you what dream I'm praying about at this point. It's just silly.
Good morning, Sleepyhead! This morning was amazing. I made myself some coffee. I wrote a cute message in the guest book and enjoyed my last morning on the water.
New tiny home. Yay! This one's even more expensive. And it's in my hometown.
Ryan: Hello for Ryan?
Haley: Yes.
Ryan: This one looks the craziest by far. I said goodbye to my Uber driver and made my way into an actual fairytale. This place is called the Blumhouse. You know, a home is gonna be luxurious if it has a name. It looks like some sort of creature, like, very mythical. And I'm a little bit scared. And as you can probably imagine, the reviews for this place...feel like everyone who wrote them was intoxicated. "Pure art, potent luxury. Wear your finest clothes! I chose a silver button down." I bought this on Amazon. It feels right. "Organic. Natural. A cave above ground, a bongo, a ukulele. Reaching out like that is purpose for which it is born. To hold, to comfort, to be. This is why you come here." I'm trying here. I really don't know what that...what she was trying to say. "Fantastimatic." Not a word. It's not a word. These reviews have me a little spooked. Also, it's looking like this is the closest thing I'm gonna get to Shrek's swamp. It does feel like a fairy tale, which is nice. I'm not gonna let that upset me, because this is literally the coolest home I've ever seen. Let's check it out! So I just personally walked around this house 14 times. I have no idea how I'm gonna make the floor plan Photoshop for this one. There it is. That's my best effort. This is not only our first two story tiny home of the video. This one is like four stories. In order to get to the living room, the room I'm in right now, you have to go down two flights of stairs. The fireplace is so cool. Also, I found the bongos. "I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed." If you thought this shirt was ridiculous, just wait till you see the kitchen! What I love about this home is there are no edges. There's no sharp edges in this house. This drawer was custom made to be the trash drawer. The dining room is just terrific. They simply do not sell this seating arrangement at Ikea. And I don't even know what this texture is on the ceiling. But I love it, and I kind of want to eat it. On the 3rd floor or the bottom floor, I'm not sure what to call it, is the bedroom. The bedroom is awesome. It's actually a little bit smaller than the New York City apartment. The bathroom is also crazy. Just the fact that this shower curtain exists is a miracle. Like the ceiling is custom built for this shower curtain. Also, I was feeling handsome in the mirror again. Maybe it's the silver shirt. Last but not least, there's a spiral staircase that feels like it goes up forever. And it leads to this cute little room. This is actually the eyeball of whatever creature this is. And there's also a balcony outside. So this is most definitely the biggest coolest and most luxurious tiny home of the video. I ordered barbecue online and then invited my crush over for dinner. Doesn't this feel romantic?
Haley: It is, but you're dressed like a 50 year old man.
Ryan: Hey, boys, can I get a rise in chat? Haley immediately spilled her brisket. We soaked up this meal thinking it was gonna be my last tiny home of this video. I told Haley all of my stories over the last few days, and I said goodbye to her on, presumably my last night in luxury. As I was going to bed, it was really setting in. I was so bummed out that I'm not gonna be able to go to Shrek's Swamp. That was until I checked my phone and saw the most unbelievable text message of my life. "Yo, do you want to go to that Shrek's Swamp with me? I'm flying there tomorrow."
The next morning I hopped on a plane and crossed the bridge of reality itself. After 20 plus hours of flying, I finally made it to Scotland. My good friend Airrack partnered up with Airbnb to go to Shrek's Swamp and he invited me. Yay! I cannot express how this is truly a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Guys: What are you doing in my swamp?
Ryan: We drove through the beautiful Scottish Highlands and found ourselves in a swamp like region. It's a force that genuinely feels like Shrek would live here. It's time to enter Shrek's Swamp. Three, two, one. Oh!
Airrack: I'm emotional for some reason.
Ryan: I cannot believe this, dude. So obviously there are no reviews for Shrek's Swamp, but the listing says here's what we can expect: "During your stay in this spectacularly secluded swamp scape, guests can relax in the ambience of earwax candlelight. Kick your feet up with a parfait. Everybody likes parfait. Swap stories around the fire until late in the night. Enjoy a stack of freshly made waffles in the morning, and of course, enjoy the ultimate privacy of Shrek's trusted outhouse." Without further ado. You ready, Airrack? Oh, it's so warm in here. Oh, I just hit my head. I just hit my head. No way!
Airrack: It feels illegal to be in here.
Ryan: Hey, there's no laws in Scotland.
Airrack: That's just not true, Ryan. It's just not true.
Ryan: So Shrek's house is a little bit bigger than the New York City apartment, but not much at all. This is the second smallest tiny home of this video. It's also the only tiny home built out of mud. Where is Shrek? We don't...
Ryan: We don't know where.
Airrack: We don't know.
Ryan: The Airbnb is also just stocked like a normal Airbnb. There's also a coffee bar. I gotta say, I did not take Shrek for a caffeine addict. There's a Dyson fan. That thing's like $1,000. I wonder what the property taxes are like on this. I gotta say, Shrek's Swamp is everything I could have dreamed of. I mean, the attention to detail is crazy. Everything in here is built so well. Like, it feels like someone really lives here.
Airrack I thought when we came in here that this was like a mulsh textured carpet. It's actually just mulsh. It's just dirt floor, like...
Ryan: I'm so curious to see who the host is, because someone's bringing us brunch and it says it's gonna be Donkey. Is he sleeping here? I don't... Donkey knows how to host. And maybe the most iconic aspect of Shrek's entire house. (Sings:) "Somebody once told me..." Couldn't get the license to the song, but you know the song. Okay, well, I guess now we're just gonna wait for Donkey to bring us brunch.
Airrack: I heard brunch was on the way.
Ryan: Okay. Donkey just dropped off brunch.
Airrack: Bro cooked.
Ryan: He absolutely is in his bag. We've got waffles with fruit, a Canadian bacon, sausage, yogurt with fruit, coffee, orange juice. Whenever I asked Donkey to be in the video, he got really weird. He was like, don't film me. I did manage to get this photo of him. It was very awkward. But regardless, he...he cooks a mean brunch, so I'm excited. Airrack and I really enjoyed Donkey's brunch. We also just had a lot of fun playing in the swamp, catching up. We don't get to hang out as much as we used to, but him bringing me to Scotland and Shrek's Swamp is a memory I will never forget.
Airrack, thank you so much for bringing me out here, dude!
Ryan: I had a great time.
Airrack: Bro, this was a blast. The whole reason you came out here, though, was to wear those Shrek Crocs, right?