Transcription
What's good people? Welcome back to the Onyx Report. Black masculineist news for the day. Hope you're well. Like, share, subscribe, join, donate, hit the like button, support the show so we can continue to bring you this independent black male thought.
All right. Today, I wanted to talk a little bit about um this notion of the protected aggressor. That is um in this case women and in relation to black men, black women who find themselves in a protected status as it relates to sexual violence. And this is not a new dynamic. Um but you know, one that's been going on for the longest nonetheless, right?
Um all right, so my son just sent me a text I wasn't expecting. All right, my my bad. Anyway, so I want us to look at a few examples of how this has happened. And I want to start with something from Daphne Accountability, Sutton. Sutton, I you know, accountability being the nickname. Um, I catch her on Facebook. I'm not sure where else you can catch her, but she's usually pretty on point as it relates to calling out BS. And in this context, um, she's dead on. She usually is in terms of what I share, but check this out.
The time is now 17:02. I've asked Israel several times if she could exit her exit with her vehicle off the premises and she refuses to. Um, she just tried to leave and leave her car here for whatever reason when she got the things that she came for and I just asked her to leave. I have to keep recording because I don't have time for any false allegations. I should have got the police involved when you raped me multiple times and sexual assault. I told my dad about that and it will be a case of you for the assault and the rape and my neck being bruised. >> And I also have um all the text messages correlating with those dates um to prove that those are false allegations. I understand it. They also have internal affairs. Uh >>
Now, part of the reason I'm sharing this with you is not only so you can see how well-prepared this brother was, but also to give you tips on how to stay in the uh you know, in the black and not in the red. You know what I mean? Because basically what you have happening here is a woman who was perfectly content as the relationship was going on, but the moment he decided he no longer wanted to be with her, she started to weaponize um their relationship, started to create false accusations. Um and usually in this situation, most brothers wouldn't have a whole lot to say. It would just be your word against hers. And uh we already know how that tends to go. So he stayed pretty prepared. He's videotaping. He's providing a narrative. And he's doing what a lot of us can do in terms of uh making sure your uh text messages are dated. You know, that you have access to them. You didn't delete them. You kept them. You're using them to prove to you or prove to whomever may be paying attention that uh were what if what she was saying was true, right? The text messages wouldn't read the way they do. So, this is how we have to think, unfortunately, uh in this current moment.
[music] Uh and he's doing so pretty well. But to know that any woman that you're associated with can do this is highly problematic, right? And the fact that you have to think this way even when the relationship is going well is unfortunate. But the cost of not doing so is way too high. All right. Way too high.
Here we go. for the ways you threatened about the connections and also I have text messages corresponding that [snorts] it was all consensual as well as you be the one initiating it. >> You took a me? >> Absolutely not. You actually there there's in there's messages that I have about >> look at her smiling while she's fabricating charges. She's she's smiling. This is all kinds of crazy >> about me not wanting to be intimate with you. [music] So that doesn't make sense. So, what you just admitted on camera is that you're fabricating a story about me sexually assaulting you because I don't want to deal with you anymore. >> I have I I have my footage is no there's no proof because it's there's no proof cuz I didn't do it and you know I didn't do it. There all this drama because I don't want to deal with you. That's that's you you want to ruin my life because I don't want to deal with you. You want to fabricate lies cuz I don't want to deal with you. Do you do you want to keep making up stuff and >> and put your hands on me and beat me multiple times? >> When did I beat you? >> Multiple times. You choked me. >> When >> you hit my head in the wall. >> When? >> Multiple times. >> When? >> Yeah. He asked for dates. He asked for proof. She can't provide any. And the fact that he's getting this on record is great. Now, the question one might have to ask is what are the laws around recording in your state? How might it be used to your benefit? You definitely want to research that. um you know whenever you can. But at least getting this on record was a smart move because uh you know for some a woman willing to weaponize things in this nature is completely unexpected, right? And it can cause all kinds of problems. You reputational damage, you know, the capacity for one to not be able to find employment, uh people want not wanting to work with you, not wanting to be around you, other people starting to come in and say, "Well, I thought he was kind of strange." And then all of a sudden, you know, there are questions about who you are based on baseless false accusations. And this kind of thing happens to men all the time. And unfortunately, there's not always a way to return from this. So being on top of it the way he is is great. It's just unfortunate uh that we have to think along these lines. But please make sure that you do think along these lines because it's too often that black men find themselves subject to and at the whim of any random woman that's upset. Right? We the state has granted women as a as a demographic too much power, too much unchecked power over any male simply off of a false accusation. Hell, this is one of the reasons that I'm hesitant to date women with daughters. You know, you you you never know when a pissed-off teenager or little girl decides that because you told her no about something, all she has to do is say you touched her. It's unfortunately gotten to that point. We're almost, regardless of age, you are subject to whatever woman has a problem with you.
This is something even my mentor taught me when I was in undergrad. He said, "When you're a professor and you work at a university," he said, uh, you know, in terms of office hours, things of that nature, he said, "Always keep your door open." gave me all kinds of tips. He said, "Because your career is in the hands of every 17-year-old girl that walks through this through that door." And this is 1995. So, I wasn't really processing it as fully as I would have now cuz so much has changed. But truth be told, this stuff was around then. It just wasn't amplified to the same extent that it is now, especially, you know, postme too. But anyway, let's continue. Let's see.
So, shout out to Roma. Roma likes to give uh breakdowns and this kind of stuff. She's often talking about uh white women in general, but a lot of what she pli she talks about still applies. Here we go. >> Men are just so dangerous. I picked the bear. Yes, men can be dangerous, but so can women. CUZ YOU KNOW, I WAS TODAY years old that I found out that the term stranger danger was actually inspired by this woman, Mera Henley, a serial killer who abducted, tortured, and then murdered, oh, and sexually assaulted five children. THIS WOMAN WAS directly quoted as to saying that the way that she got these children, it was easy for her because she was a friendly face and she was a woman and children inherently trusted her most. It's really interesting to me how we continuously live in this delusion as feminists and we'll say things like, "Oh, WELL, IF THE WORLD WAS RUN BY WOMEN, THE PLACE WOULD JUST be holy and nice, as if women never abused power." Like, I'm sorry. Have you ever read any books on what happened in like the Jim Crow era? Do you understand how god awful these white women were to black slaves and false allegations? I mean, that was an everyday thing. And we want to sit here and pretend like it's rare. So to say that we just need to give all these leader roles to women and they should be the ones leading minorities and that would just make everything better and happy and daisy is just delusional because there's been many times in history where women have proved that when they're put in power or when they're put in power over minorities they abuse it and they do awful things. And you know why? Not because they're women, because they're human beings. Because human beings are trash. And the whole point of this is that women are just as dangerous as men. And don't even get me started on the fact that most female serial killers are those that are nurses or in caregiving roles. They are most likely to murder in hospitals. They are most likely to murder their children. They're most likely to abuse their children. They're most likely to lure children. They are most likely to rape children in schools. They are most likely to abuse their female partners and their male partners at this rate because the domestic violence rate isn't sitting at 50/50 anymore. It's actually pushing over. Women are self-reporting being men more. So, nobody can sit here AND BE LIKE, "OH, THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STATISTICS are based off of false allegations." No, they're not. Self-reporting bizatches. It's just insane to me that if I got on the internet and I was like, "Hey, I was horrifically abused by my mom as a child." And I use that as a reason to like fearmonger all women, treat them like [ __ ] and just like tell men like, "Hey, fear them. Your life is better with a bear than a woman." I mean, you guys would look at me like an idiot, but hey, I want to play into your rule book. So, who would you rather leave your child with? A woman or a cougar?
>> All right, fair use. Fair use. Uh, I usually appreciate Roma's videos, and this one I I appreciate it as well. But one of the things I wanted to highlight and what she said um was that much of the time, uh, women tend to be more opportunistic uh, killers when in the position to do so. Right? you know, taking advantage of the vulnerable, right? So, in this sense, whether you're talking about children, uh, even men that are asleep or who are eating and being poisoned when they don't even know there's any aggression, uh, on the table, there's any, you know, issue that may want her, you know, that she may want to, you know, hurt him for. Much of the time, it's it's opportunistic killing. So, when she talks about children, when she talks about nurses, taking care of sick people, things of that nature, that's what I mean by opportunistic. And she's dead on. She's dead on. If you actually look at the the aggression toward children, especially to the point of homicide, [music] you know, it the numbers go up the younger the children are all the way down to newborns, right? The more vulnerable the subject, the more often it occurs when it comes to female initiated homicide. A lot of that is rooted in this uh you know this non-confrontational passive aggressive kind of approach to violence. But it doesn't mean that violence doesn't take place. And part of the issue with me too is it made men more vulnerable across the board because it really and this wasn't new even at the time. But it really highlighted this for most people because at the end of the day, you know, you got something to lose. You got your careers to lose. You got all kinds of things going on. It's dangerous. And you know, particularly for men that can't afford to lose that. Um you know, you had women who, you know, decide to engage in some aggression to take advantage of the fact that he can't, right? Especially middle class men with kids to feed, with a career. These men can be particularly vulnerable to false accusations. They can be vulnerable to uh physical aggression cuz, you know, they're going to work through the system to try and eliminate this. Men who are willing to put hands on a woman even uh when she has initiated the violence, you know, and are willing to accept that they may go to jail for it. Strangely enough, those aren't the women that those aren't the men that women, you know, want to be aggressive with. It's the men that they know have something to lose, all right, who can't afford to go to prison. They got kids depending on them, so on and so forth. So, they have to go a different route. They have to go a legal route. They have to make sure they move out, separate, uh, restraining orders, so on and so forth. That's a slower process. Um, but at the end of the day, if you got responsibilities, if you have a career, if you have a family, you may have to go that route. Putting hands directly on a woman, sometimes even in self-defense, can leave you in prison. So, you have to be strategic and some women are well aware of that dynamic. So, I appreciate Roma breaking that down, but I also want to show that this stuff is not new. This is not a new dynamic.
I ran across something that I didn't know um which not only takes us back into history but you know even touches on you know one of African-American American society's greatest uh productions and uh in terms of producing this particular individual not production in terms of like a play or anything but we're talking about web deo and web deo um you know famous activist famous intellectual um brilliant uh scholar, activist, so on and so forth. internationally renowned um has had some uh I don't know how would you put that he's been um well he came forward in his autobiography and talked about something that I guess at the time I read it when I was in college I didn't really think about it these weren't things that I was sensitive to at that time but nevertheless I ran across this right and uh an associate posted it on Facebook and it blew me away said in his autobiography web de boys revealed that his first sexual experience as a young man was an assault by his much older landlady stating I was literally raped by the unhappy wife who was my landlady. This detail is discussed in hisostuously published work, the autobiography of web de boys and is also explored in the PBS American Masters documentary web deo uh rebel with a cause right and uh there are some bullet points that were shared um along those lines. So here's a few of them. When and where it occurred in the late 1880s while he was a student at Fisk University. To pay for his tuition, he spent his summers teaching at a rural school in East Tennessee. The land lady he boarded with a local family during this time. The landlady was the mother of Josie, a young student Dubo famously wrote about in his essay collection, the souls of black folk, right? Says the incident. Dubo described the landlady as an unhappy wife and stated that she literally graed him in a dark bedroom. The impact. Dubo noted that this traumatic experience along with later exposure to prostitution in Paris and the unwanted advances of colleagues wives in Atlanta left him deeply unsettled regarding sexuality. He wrote that these collective experiences literally frightened him into marriage before he was fully ready seeking stability and safety.
And I think what it also highlights is that you know for most uh men going through this um apparently regardless of the era there's not always u a clear way to deal with it. Not everybody has a clear idea how to handle this, how to go about dealing with it. Um there are not a lot of protections from it. And of course, if you respond directly with violence, the repercussions can blow back against you, right? Yeah. So, not only is this the kind of thing that's happening now, it was happening even in the 1880s to black men. And there was no discussion of it. No, no discussion. There's been no degree that I've gotten, no no set of courses at every level from undergraduate to masters to doctoral level where I've had or we where we've had these conversations about black men's sexual vulnerability uh not only to white women. I mean, there are brief discussions about that. Although much of the conversation is more about black women's uh sexual vulnerability to white men and sometimes black men during slavery, but rarely would they talk about black men's sexual vulnerability to white women. And almost never, and I'm saying almost just to be kind. But really, in my education, there's never been a point where we've talked about black men's sexual vulnerability even to black women, right? Not historically, not contemporarily. This is a discussion that we do not know how to have, but I wanted to highlight this experience with webb de boys because it takes you back to the 1880s. It just gives you a a sign to let you know that this is not new. This has been going on for a long time and it hasn't fully been addressed. It hasn't really been brought to the table in the black community for discussion. And it continues even with people like Tyler Perry who talk about being sexually violated by grown women. And I've I've talked about several celebrities um who've shared their stories. You know, there have been brothers in the comment sections whose stories I've shared over the years about their own experiences with sexual vulnerability and the extent to which there they were violated and there was no conversation. There was no reflection. There was no analysis. Uh and and many of these women who were more than likely repeat offenders. There was no punishment for even when men stepped forward and called it out often to their own public embarrassment. There was no discussion about what that meant. No discussion about how it should impact him and what what should happen to her, right? None.
So, this is one of the reasons in the black male political agenda we talk about um the kind of revising of how sexual crimes are addressed. We talk about the need to further further double down on the gender neutrality of it because even though the language of of the law is often gender neutral and how it's written, they still tend to prioritize female vulner vulnerability and ignore male vulnerability altogether. And this can have a devastating impact on individual men who are just trying to survive, just trying to live, just trying to take care of families. And you're starting to see more and more of these men withdraw for a variety of reasons. And nobody really wants to talk about that, but it needs to be because unfortunately we're at that point.
So let me know what you think. Let me know what your experiences are. Let me know what you think uh should also be added into this conversation. And I look forward to hearing from you. All right. Holl at y'all later. Peace.