Transcription
There was a lady like that I was counseling. She was in a supposed relationship for one year relationship and he never met the guy's family. One full year serious relation.
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The journey is going to be tough. What, no compliment? That means you hang out with somebody, you talk with somebody, they don't see anything good about you. Most times when you talk, what they do is complain and not compliment. In other words, they never say, "Oh, I like your dress." Or, "I like this your hair." Or, "I like your sense of humor. I like that you are witty. I like your intelligence. I like you, how hardworking you are. Oh, I like how..." As in, nothing. Nothing. No compliment at all in hours of talking, in days of chatting, in weeks of calling. No compliment at all. That means they are not seeing anything worthy of compliment about you. That is a bad sign.
I can understand couples that have been married for 10 years and now start forgetting to compliment their spouse. That's a natural procedure. Not the best, but it can happen. But if you are starting at the beginning, you're already behaving like people at the end, then that means the end is near. No compliments because one of the telltale signs of great couples or great match in a relationship is that you see so many good things about the person at the beginning stage. Especially those of you that were here last week, you know, we explained that you see so many good things about the person. Oh, you like, oh, I like their dresses. I like their shape. I like their color. I like the cook. I like how they talk. I like how they laugh. You are seeing positives. That's how to know you're on the right path.
But you've hung out with somebody for a while and you guys, nothing, no compliment is coming from this person. They don't see anything good about you. Nothing exciting about you. Nothing intriguing, interesting about you. That is a bad sign. No compliments coming from them at the beginning stage of the relation. No compliments. They don't think you are pretty. They don't think there's a feature about you they like, like your eyebrow, like your nose, like your hair, like your complexion, like how you laugh, like how you talk, like how you listen, like how you walk, like how you respond, like how you are nice. They don't see anything. When people are in love, they see all the positives. That's what I tell you. When people are in love, they even see things that other people can't see. Say, "I like the way she walks. She limps on one side when she's walking. I like it." That's when people in love, those are the kind of weird things they see. Now, this person says he loves you or he or she loves you and they don't see anything. That's a bad sign.
No compliments. Number two, no compromise. This person says they love you, but they are never willing to compromise for you. That's a bad sign. You see, all these things are signs usually that show up in marriage, years into marriage. You already have the end behavior at the beginning. That's this bad sign. No compromise. When you notice that this person will never compromise anything for you. Oh, my Saturdays are for football, but you have an important event. You wanted him to come with you or she could come with you. Said, "No, my Saturdays are for my lashes. My lashes are my god. I must do my lashes." You notice no compromise. They are never willing to comp. So I hate texting. So they don't reply text. No, you see when people are in love, they compromise. That means, oh, I don't like to stay up late to talk, but for you, I will try. You see, you will see the effort that they will try and stay up late. Now, they might sleep off when they're chatting, but you see that they are compromising their normal stand. They are shifting ground for you. They must be shifting. If they're not shifting, that's a bad sign. No compromise. See, on Saturdays, I don't talk to anybody, and they continue with it. Even in a relationship with you or in a serious talking stage with you, that is a bad sign. No compromise. No compromise. Watch out for it. They can't compromise their time. They can't compromise their philosophy. When I mean compromise, I'm not talking about sinful compromise. No, that's not what I mean. I don't mean that they say, "Oh, I'm a Christian now. I'm going to go and drink alcohol because I want to compromise." That's not what I mean. I mean basic stuff that they didn't have time to do, they didn't want to do. Oh, I don't like movies. I don't like cinemas. But this person likes cinemas. What are you going to do? You're going to go and watch a movie with them. That's what people do when they're in love. They compromise what they normally wouldn't want to do and do it. Oh, I don't like going out in the sun, but now this person has a special event in the sun. I'm going to go compromise. You know, when I see people in relationships and they're holding their ground from the beginning, say, "Me, I don't text. It's only call I can do, and the call is between 10:00 p.m. and 10:15 p.m. CST every day. Outside of that, I can't call," and they insist on it, that person doesn't love you. Compromise. You'll see that the person is willing to shift ground on some of their normal personal things for you.
Third one, I'm trying to just mention if you're single, no communication. It's a big telltale sign you won't make it for the long haul. No communication. The person does not reply chats, does not reply calls, return calls. Ah, see, we find time for people we value. Nobody's that busy in the world. Nobody's that busy. How many seconds does it take to pick a call and say, "Hey baby, I'm in a meeting. How you doing? Hope you're okay. Hope it's not an emergency. I'll call you back." How many seconds does it take to type one chat? You can literally do it under one minute. In 47 seconds, you can drop a voice note, you can type a text, you can make a quick call under one minute. Anybody that doesn't think you are worth one minute in the midst of even a busy day, the person doesn't value you. If somebody was owing them money, they will have time to call that person. Trust me. You see, you can usually tell people's value by where they put effort. All right? So, if they are not communicating, they don't reply emails, they don't reply chats, they don't return calls, they take 24 hours to reply chat. You send somebody a chat, "Hey, how's your day going?" and they reply in 24 hours, and you still chat after that, you are the one that is not okay. You are in a relationship with somebody and a whole day goes by, they didn't check in. They must not talk to you throughout the day, or at least they should talk. They should keep in touch every day. "How's your day?" "We hope you're good." And it's not something that you're looking for energy to do. It's a natural process. If you are my person, there must be something I need to tell you there or just check up on you. It's a natural thing. Some people go 48 hours in a relationship without talking. One person even told me that she's in a relationship with somebody. The guy came from abroad. Long time relationship. The guy came from abroad, came to their city, and spent 5 days or something, and they did not see. I said, "My sister, come, come. Yeah, you're in a relationship with yourself." He's in this Lagos. He came from abroad, and you people did not see. He went back. I said, "He went to see his family. He saw the people you never got to see." You are not in a relationship with him. But you know, some people are so adamant, and they think, "Oh, we're in love. We're in a relationship." You're in a relationship with yourself. If the person is not communicating in terms of frequency and intensity, what kind of communication is it? Just surface talk? All right. One is frequency. Do they keep in touch? Second is the depth of it. Do they talk about important things? You're in a relationship with somebody, you don't know where they work, you don't know what they do, you don't know where they live, you don't know who matters to them, you don't know anything about them. It's just surface talk. You guys talk about the weather is blue, the sky is cloudy, it's raining on Thursday. That's the thing you are discussing. No depth. That's a bad sign. You're not going to make it. You're not going to make it. You're not going to make it.
Number four, I'm trying to be fast because it's not even the message. This is just snacks for the singles. Number five, no community involvement. No community involvement. What do I mean by this one? If he's not connecting you with the people that matter to him, it's a bad sign. You are in a relationship or serious talking stage, and he's not proud or excited to introduce you to people that matter. That's usually a bad sign. Of course, he doesn't have to do a CNN advert to post you. However, the people that matter, the people he interacts with closely, by now should know of you and have heard of you and desire to meet you. There was a lady like that I was counseling. She was in a supposed relationship for one year relationship, and he never met the guy's family. One full year serious relationship. These are people that are mature in age. They are not 22-year-olds hiding behind the backyard to talk. These are people late 30s and 40s. One full year, his family never met her. I say, "You are not." I kept telling her, of course, there's no future. When people are starting at the end, in the beginning, there's no...