Transcription
A year ago today, I went through my man's phone, and my life is now forever changed. I'm now a single mom raising two kids. He is so lucky. I am healed. Let's go spend some child support, shall we?
So, random thought. Obviously, now that I'm single, it's kind of like awkward to have conversations with guys because now that I'm older, you know, they're asking, "Oh, do you have kids?" Obviously, I'm not going to deny that I have kids, and I'm not embarrassed of my kids at all, but it just is awkward when they ask me. Also, like last night, I got asked for the first time, do they have two different baby daddies or the same dad? And I was just like, "Yeah, because I was going to let him think whatever like he thought." So, but then he was like, "So, two different baby daddies?" I was like, "Yeah, but the first one doesn't count because I was a teenager and he's not involved. So, like I don't have two. I have one."
"No, you have two, ma'am."
Um, so whatever. He didn't say anything. But it's just kind of like, how do I worry this? I just know that when it comes down to it, if a guy is trying to pick between two women and one of them has kids and the other one doesn't, he's always going to go for the one that doesn't have kids. So,
"Of course, at least she admits it."
So, I feel like I have no chance at this point. And not even that I'm trying to find anybody serious anyway. Like, one, I just got out of a divorce. I have no trust in men right now at all. I don't think I ever will. Obviously, I'm only
"Ma'am, you picked those men. You chose to have kids with those men. It's your fault. Ma'am, take accountability."
going to be dating right now for fun. But I feel like once you tell a guy that you have kids, they automatically think like, "Oh, she's probably looking for a stepdad or a husband or something." And it's like, actually not at all. Anyway, I just hate that I'm in this new position because I was never supposed to be.
"Ma'am, you put yourself in this position. All those decisions that you made previously led to this, ma'am."
"You didn't have a single mom. Now you're single mom."
They say the longer you wait, the hotter you date. So, at this point, I'm dating a [ __ ] volcano. I'm really frustrated right now because the one man I want is the man I will never settle for in my entire life. I don't care. You could run me over with a bus, Regina George style, and I will still never resuscitate for that man.
Whoever is the girl that said, "I don't need a man to buy me flowers, but I wouldn't date a man who doesn't. I don't need a man to provide for me, but I wouldn't date a man who doesn't. I don't need a man to open my doors, but I wouldn't date a man who doesn't."
"Yes, ma'am. And we wouldn't date women that say they don't need a man."
"You've changed my perspective, so thank you."
Okay, this is a crash-out post. I'm currently crashing out. Sorry in advance. Women, women, do not get married and have kids unless you plan on and are capable of becoming a single mom. Because nine times out of 10, eight times out of 10, I don't know, statistically high, that's probably what's going to happen to you. Now, I love being a mom. I really do. And in fact, I, I quite enjoy most of the time being a single mom. This [ __ ] is not fair. The world is not set up for single moms. You will struggle. I don't
"Yes, ma'am. And whose fault is that? Why didn't you think about this before having a kid? Who told you it was easy? Who? Yes, ma'am. Life isn't fair, but nobody forced you to have a kid. That should be a very, very big decision that you have to think about for a long, long time. And you have to know all the pros and all the cons. How do you just have a kid like that without knowing how hard it is?"
I don't care what job you have. I don't care how much you get paid, especially in this economy right now, okay? The world is not set up for single mothers. It will be [ __ ] hard.
Women are buying houses. I think, yeah, 30% of UK households are single people now. And then women are buying their own homes much faster than single men. It's like a lot of women are just being like, "Yeah, I'm just going to build my life." And then if you fit into it, I think it's terrifying for a lot of people to see that and be like, "Oh my god, there's going to be all these happy, fulfilled women. What does that mean for the world?" You'll never ever catch me with a younger guy again. Not even one day younger than me. 10 years older plus only. That's my rule now. I said what I said. I don't even need explanations for this. And I'm lost. I don't know where the [ __ ] I am. So, bye.
"And I can tell you what happened. That younger guy just slept with her, used her, and then ghosted her. That's why she's saying this."
"I wiped me clean. I mean, you know, uh, had me evicted somehow one way or another."
"Feminist left husband for younger guy, becomes homeless, then tries to crawl back to husband. He said no. um, had me evicted and he got a re- he got a rental agreement. He got to stay in the property. I had to leave. And I went to my ex-husband in here in Ben eyes and I said, 'Hey, I got a problem. I'm out of work and and uh, I need a place to stay.' And he said, 'No, got it.'"
All these little girls are like, "My boyfriend's a narcissist." I'm like, "No, he's not. No, he's not." And I told him why. And everyone went, "Oh." I said, "If you're dating a narcissist, you will not post on social media you're dating a narcissist. But he'll come for you. Mentally, physically, financially, he's going to come for you. You will not have that video up. So, if you say, 'I'm dating a narcissist,' guarantee you he's not." And everyone kind of came at me and I'm like, "Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong."
If you think the dating scene sucks as a woman, go get yourself a brother, okay? And go listen to their interpretation of the dating world. It's, I'm not kidding, y'all. It seems near impossible for these men. Like, if we as women, we hold all the power. I think we always have and just somehow it's been translated that we are like, not thriving in the dating scene. No. Go talk to a man. I would say go talk to a straight male friend. Um, but I don't agree with female-male friendships anymore. Um, it's bad for them. I'm telling y'all. So, I made a video the other day talking about how men deserve to be treated like the prize, too. And the amount of women in my comments saying, "Oh, men sa they're violent. Men are worse." Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I said nothing about protecting men like that. I was just talking about how men in general deserve to be treated with love and respect.
"Yes, ma'am. But you can't say anything good about us because in their mind all men are bad. All men are toxic. All men are [ __ ]. How on earth? It's you. You need [ __ ] therapy."
"No, ma'am. That wouldn't help because they have a low IQ. That won't change anything."
Is it true that men are less attractive to a successful woman? You show a man a photograph of a woman who's dressed like a CEO and she's gorgeous. And you show a man a picture of a woman who's dressed like a Burger King service, you know, person and she's drop-dead gorgeous. Men are going to find her similarly attractive in both conditions. It
"I don't believe in that. I think that only a stupid guy will see them both and think, 'Oh, they're both similarly attractive.' When I see a CEO, I think, 'Oh, she's more masculine. She wants to be a leader. She will fight with me all the time. She thinks everything I say is wrong and everything she says is right. And I don't want to date another guy.'"
"Doesn't matter."
All right, ladies. Can we come back from the egg? I've just been on a, I think fourth date, and I'm really giving this guy a shot because he's really lovely. Like, he's just such a nice guy and he ticks so many boxes and he's tall, he's kind, he's sweet, he's just like, really lovely. But on our second date, he was so clingy. Like, he was hugging me at one point being like, "I like you so much. I would do anything to make you happy." And I know that sounds good. Like, that's what you
"No, that doesn't sound good to a woman. That sounds creepy. Guys, don't do that. Especially on the second date."
want someone to say to you, but it was our second date. It was very, I don't know. I don't even know what the word is.
"Creepy. Creepy."
But it really gave me the ache. And now I'm trying. And we've just got, I've just got home from a fourth date and I'm just wondering, is this it? Is the it? Is it going to go away? Like, does it, what do we do when you have the ache for someone that you want to give them a chance because they're lovely? Can
"And why do you think she wants to give the nice guy a chance? Because she's tired of the [ __ ]. Because she's tired of Chad just sleeping with her and then ghosting her. That's why."
"And you take it back."
Craziest thing you did to get back at a man that hurt you.
Wow. These are some pretty insane comments.
This girl said, "He went to jail and I booked every single visit so he couldn't get visitors for one straight year."
"No way. That's good."
"Found his dad on Tinder. He told me his parents recently got divorced. Slept with his dad, sent him a photo, and blocked him before he got a chance to respond."
"Oh my god."
"These are heavy."
"Slept with his dad. Un literally unpacked his dad."
"Yeah. Yeah. Saw"
"Must be a listener to the show."
"Yeah."
"Quick inspiration."
"Saw his rod and not fishing rod."
"Sorry."
"Deleted years worth of gaming from his Xbox. You would cry. You would actually"
"That one resonates with me."
"Yeah,"
"That resonates with me. I, I can feel that pain."
"Got with his boss and would text both of them at the same time. His boss one day sat and talked about this amazing woman he met. And then we had the best time last night and then showed my ex a pick at us."
"Oh my god,"
"These are actually mental,"
"Mate. Keep them coming."
"Took him on a trip to Florida, canceled all his credit cards and debit cards, booked a flight back home while he was sleeping in the hotel and checked out early."
"How can you cancel somebody else's credit card if it's not in your name and if you're a woman? I don't get it."
"Mate. This is like"
"This is like movie stuff."
"This is evil genius sort of stuff. Yeah. Very vindictive."
"Yeah. Uh, took the, the left shoe of each pair of his shoes. I ended up taking 32 shoes and most of them were Jordans and Timberlain."
"He's fault for having that many shoes."
"Imagine just trying. You're just going every morning."
"Everyone. Every one of them."
Another day, another liar. I don't want to, I don't want to have this belief that all men are liars, but it's just so annoying when you meet guys who are li. I don't know. So, I met this guy on a dating app.
"Ma'am, men will lie and will say everything that you want to hear to sleep with you. It's your duty to see through the [ __ ]. It's your duty to see beyond the lies to see the red flags. If you didn't see the red flags or you didn't know how to see the red flags or you ignored them, it's your fault, ma'am."
And we had a couple of dates. Everything went really well. He was so into me. Like, "I really want to see you. I want to spend every second with you. I don't think this is casual. Um, you know, I'm looking for long-term blah, blah, blah." Of course, they're not going to tell you, "I just want to have fun." If they know you want to have a relationship, they're going to lie to you and tell you exactly what you want to hear and then sleep with you and then ghost you, ma'am.
And then we were trying to set a third date. And he said, I said, "Well, I'm free tomorrow all day." And he said, "Oh, let's do 4:00." And I thought I said, "Well, I'd rather do first part of the day because, um, it's, you know, it's nicer on a Sunday morning, I suppose." Um, and he said, "Oh, I've got lunch with my nephew." And he said, "Let me see what I can do." And I said, "No, it's fine, Dory. Family first. Like, do your thing and then we'll, we'll do another day." And then today I had a date to myself. So, I thought I thought I'll go to a National Trust place and um, you know, read a book, do something nice. And um, the place was, they had no parking, so I had to leave. And um, I left and I went to another place, a garden. It wasn't a National Trust place. And um, I was walking towards a place where I could sit down and read my book. And guess who was sat on a bench on a date? This guy. Yes. He lost his words. He was trying to charm this lady. Um, and he lost his words when he saw me. And I looked away and that was it. So why are men like this? Why, why are you saying these things if you're not interested?
"Ma'am, women do the same thing. A lot of women say they want to keep their options open while dating and they will date several men. They won't date just one guy at a time."
Interested. Oh, what? What? What's going on? You can't have 10 women. Like, just pull your [ __ ] together. He's 40, by the way. For zero.
Last night, I went on a date with someone who I met at the gym months ago. He had been asking me out for months and for one reason or another, either I was talking to someone else or our schedules didn't align. Uh, we never had the opportunity to go out. But last night was finally the night and it went so poorly, we didn't even make it to dinner. We started out by going to a bar first to get one cocktail. And the plan was to go to dinner afterwards. At first, the date was going fine. He was making jokes about going on like our third and fourth date, where he would want to take me. We were getting to know each other, jobs, careers, hobbies, interests, all the things. And we got drinks for like an hour and a half. It was a pretty long time of us just vibing. And there definitely were some things that we didn't agree with or align on in terms of like our morals and interests and I guess just perspective on the world. Um,
"Then it's clear it won't work. Ma'am, if you don't have the same morals, if you don't have the same values, if you don't want the same things in life, it won't work out. No matter how much you love each other."
and so when the truck came, he was like, "All right, next step, we'll go to dinner." And then lo and behold, we get in the car. Uh, we start driving to the restaurant and he very politely was like, "Honestly, I think if you're cool with it, like I think I'm just gonna drop you off." And I was like, "Oh, yeah, sure. Absolutely. Like, totally fine." And he said that there was just a few things that he felt like we weren't that compatible on. And
"Yeah, good for him. He saw the red flags. He saw that you don't want the same things in life. So, he ended it. Good for him."
and our morals and interests didn't really fully align and
"To just be proactive in dating with intention."
he didn't think that he could see things going any further. So,
"Good for him. I say that because we all get rejected and obviously it never feels good, but I think it's so important to have grace for yourself and to handle the situation with respect for the other person, for yourself. Respect their boundaries. They have boundaries. It's a good thing. And they want to hold tight to them. I think the way we handle rejection actually means more about our character and how we handle being wanted. Hope you enjoyed this video, guys, and I'll see you on the next."