Transcription
All right. So, what I'm about to show you today is the method to overcome shyness and to increase your charisma. This method doesn't matter how shy you are. It doesn't matter how socially awkward you are. It doesn't matter how little experience you have with people. This method will calibrate your nonverbal cues, will calibrate the way that you talk in order to project confidence, in order to project outgoingness, and above all to make you more magnetic.
This method I've used on guys that were the most socially awkward guys that you could ever meet. Like, I worked when I was younger, I used to work with guys to help them meet women, right? Because they were shy. And out of all the methods that I've that I've taught, this is the method that I'm going to teach you guys. And this works, okay? Um, you don't have to change your personality. You don't have to get better looking. Um, you don't have to change anything about yourself, but the only thing you're going to be changing is how you look at them.
Now, mind you, this it's not supposed to look high, but it looks high, so maybe it's a projection. But the method is called the soft gaze effect. Now, what does that mean?
Well, many years ago, I remember one time I got dumped by by an ex and I didn't have any prospect to meet women. Um, because I was in New York City. I was working from 9 to 6. So, I I couldn't go to clubs, meaning like drawing clubs or, you know, those types of events. Um, I wasn't on online dating cuz I was broke. So, I didn't have a good way to meet people other than on my way home. That was the only way I could meet I could meet women. And but the problem was I was I was too shy. And when I would go go up to them, I was so I was so [ __ ] scared that my anxieties will turn the women off, right? Um, and and there's a phrase that applies to this, which is the self is always coming through.
So, I had an issue where I would approach a woman and she would be I'll be nervous and then when I was nervous, she would get nervous and she would feel some weird vibes from me. And no matter how much I tried, it didn't work. So, what did I do differently? Well, what I noticed is that if I change how I feel about her, it'll change how she feels about me, no matter how much she knew me. What do I mean by that? When you're approaching someone, you naturally start to assume things about them. You start to say, "Ah, they won't like me. Oh, oh, she has a boyfriend. Oh, oh, she might reject me." And those words tend to create a reaction in your mind and body, right? Cuz you react to sensations. You react to thoughts and it creates a sense of of of anxiety in you to the point that when you try to go up to her, you're going to assume she's going to reject you. And so, you're going to act in such a way that will get her to reject you. It literally becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So I had to find a way to change how I saw them. And I realized many years ago when I used to study NLP, which is neural linguistic programming, it's a form of hypnotism that te that that tells you that how you see the world is how it's going to look at you. And one of the things that I've learned in Buddhism is that is that the way to transform the world around you is through empathy. And one of the things that I've noticed that whenever I felt nervous, my I wasn't being empathic. Why? Because whenever you develop empathy, you stop seeing people as enemies. You start to see everyone as a friend.
And have you ever met someone that talked to you like they knew you? Doesn't that like I remember there was this one guy I went to volunteer at this meditation retreat and I remember him, but then he didn't remember me. And I was like, "Hey, how's it going?" and and he gave me a look of like, you know me. Like it was a it's like there's a certain way that you talk to people when you feel like you know them that actually makes them like okay he I guess he knows me. I guess I'm going to be nice to them. Like it's one of the weirdest things.
And so when I would approach a woman, one of the things that I did was I did I had two methods. I either one filled myself up with compassion through the meth meditation, right? It's called meta. Just look it up people. I'm not going to explain everything here. It's called meta. I may explain it towards the end, right? And this meta what what the way I do it is that I imagine I still do this to this day, but I don't approach people. I put I put the song him in the hum of the ocean by Titanic. Hum of the sea to the sea. I don't give a [ __ ] One of the two, right? It's a Titanic song that goes right. And so what you do is that you do that to develop your compassion. So you walk around or even you know go on Uber and just every person that you meet and see in your mind you say may you be well may you find happiness and may you find peace. You see another person may you be well may you find happiness and may you find peace. You do that while listening to this song or whatever song brings compassion. For example for me another one is is um Ed Shiron thinking out loud right? that song makes me feel like, oh, I could love people, right?
And so what you're doing is that you're conditioning your brain to not see people as enemies. And what happens is that over time, you will literally stop to feel anxiety because what this does is that it creates a sense of familiarity. You stop seeing them as as enemies. When you first see people, you see them you first start seeing them with sharp edges, right? Like that's how people that's how your brain perceives people. When you don't know them, they have a soft edge. As you get to know them, the soft edges becomes replaced with softness, right? It comes more soft and the softness will make them look more friendly. Well, this person looks pissed off now, right? But with the softness will make them look more friendly. And this friendliness comes across as you start treating them like they're going to treat you with friendliness. You you literally start assuming comfort. We call that literally it's literally called assuming Jesus Christ people it's not a earthquake even the the dog is saying assuming comfort right so what you start to do is that you start to see them like you see a family member like you you you before you approach the person this could be done on a date on a meeting for example if you got to meet a bunch of people in your mind go one by one may you be well may you find peace may you be happy or to the whole group. You cannot be anxious when you're wishing people love and happiness. That's impossible. It's not. It's how that works.
The reason why you feel shy is because you see them as a threat. Like you think they're going to hurt you. You think that they're going to that that oh, they're going to they're not going to like me back. Blah blah blah blah. And that causes your body to stiffen up and to start preparing for the rejection. Right? And what happens is that this becomes a self-fulfilling [Music] prophecy where you literally start to create that. It's like people who have a hostile attitude. Like I think I have sort of a hostile attitude. I've learned throughout the years. Not that bad, but enough for me to see how I've affected my life. And this it's a real true thing. If you feel anxiety, you have a little bit of hostility. Like it's like you're saying they're going to reject me. That's some that's like hostility. You're predicting hostility and that's why you feel shy. Most likely your parents, especially if you're a girl, your parents told you to be more shy, to be more in the quiet, to not ruffle the feathers. And so you were rewarded to be shy. You were left alone. And so you like to be left alone. That's what shy people are. They don't like to be bothered. What this does is that it removes the the sensation that they're an enemy and you start to see them with love.
The more you practice this meditation, the meta meditation on a daily basis, especially if you use music, your brain will start to rewire itself to look at everything with compassion. For example, me, one of the med meditation that I like to do is I'll literally look around my room and wish and and and just have compassion. So, for example, it's like imagine that you're looking at, okay, you're looking at this stick, right? Look at that. Look at this stick, right? You're looking at it, right? Now, it looks like a stick. Okay? Okay. Now, imagine that this stick is your mom or your or or your dad reincarnated for example, right? Just imagine it. Imagine that you're looking at the reincarnation of your parents and and and that they they don't know that you know, but you know that they are your parents, right? You're looking at it and then you start to notice that you're looking at it with compassion. And it's like there's a certain quality that arises from it. You're like, "Oh, may you be well. May you find peace. And may you be happy." And it starts to have like a friendliness to it, right? And it's not that you're [ __ ] schizophrenic because you're doing that, but that your brain has the ability to feel compassion for abstract things, for things that are alive and things that are not alive. That's why you feel compassion for TV characters, right? Your brain is flexible enough. But what happens when you're angry and the TV is not working, right? You're like, "Miss [ __ ] [ __ ] TV." You like, "Yo, it's a TV." This is That's like the anti-compassion where you make an enemy out of it and you literally want to shake it up like you're shaking a baby, right? You're like, "Motherfucker, get better." But rather than create hostility, you create friendliness.
Literally, anytime you feel shy about a situation, develop your compassion. Don't develop your confidence. Don't try to be confident. Just try to feel compassion. Try to feel love for this person. One of the things about Buddhists and Christians, they're not shy. And one of the reasons why they're not shy is because they developed the love of God. They developed empathy. Jesus's thing was a Jesus was big on compassion. And one of the things when you have genuine love and compassion, you're not shy. You're just not like it's it's it's it's really difficult. For example, let's just say you love your your baby. You tell me someone who you feel love and compassion for that you're shy. You're not.
Now the next quality that happens is that it makes you really magnetic because people sense people can sense friendliness emanating from you and it comes from a real place. If you genuinely love someone, they're going to feel comfortable with your eye contact. As long as you don't like them because of your needy and creepy and needy and desperate, you know, the source of this matters. But if you look at people, for example, I' I've seen differences when I'm g I'm gonna I'm gonna I don't know sound like H when I'm on a date with someone years ago, I I was because I was socially shy, right? Um I would do the love and kindness meditation and my shyness would just go away. If I see a girl and I want to approach her, but I but I feel shy, I would literally do the love and compassion meditation and I approach her and consistently cuz you know people, I'm a psycho. I've done a A and B studies, meaning I've done experiments approaching women with this method and without this method. I don't have the I have I had the stats on the website cuz I posted it cuz I was really curious. But it there was a difference. The reason why is because when you're approaching someone and you feel like they're your love, they're your family member. You will literally look at them differently. And if they say, for example, if they if you sense some hostility, imagine you're trying to cuddle with your dog and your dog is like, right, you're not gonna be like, "Oh my god, my dog hates me." You can like, "Oh, come on, doggy. Don't don't be like that. Come on, come here." And and that is so it feels natural. Like people can sense the naturalness. And even though they may not they may be hesitant, your natural response because you're not acting. Think about it. When you're trying when you're not using this, you're trying to be confident. We're trying to we're using light energy. We're using love and compassion. They reject you, you say, "Oh, you [ __ ] [ __ ] you." You're like, "Okay, I I I just want you to be happy. It's okay if you don't like me." And you take rejection better because you want them to be happy. And people can sense that softness, that lovingness emanating from you.
And consistently, people will tell you you have a nice vibe. Consistently ever since I started practicing this type of meditation like and you know I don't say that because it goes with the video but I get a lot of people that approach me sometimes they know my YouTube channel but sometimes they approach me because I give them a vibe or because you seem like you seem like a nice person it used to happen more when I was a Christian maybe I had a Bible in my hand so maybe that was a big difference but they would approach you and the reason why is because the self is always coming through the self is always coming through so one of the things go here right so one of the things that I that I advise you to is that if if you can't use this method, you want to be able to anchor your confidence from something else, right? Actually, let's write that down here, right? You want to anchor your confidence.
So, what do I mean by anchoring your confidence, right? We're all confident in one area of our lives. So, something that you could do is find who is a person that you're confident with. For example, my dog, my dog Missy, right? I would imagine my dog Missy before I would go on a date. So I would So if I would approach a girl for example and I'll be and I'm nervous I just think of my dog like imagine you're approaching my dog. Imagine I'm approaching my dog and sometimes I will even call him my dog's name Missy cuz so you can call him anyone Missy cuz you know miss right hey Missy like hey do I know you like no I just I just saw you you look really nice I had to come over and say hello or I just saw you and you know I the way you look I can't let you go without saying hello. That's a crime in five countries right? And she like, "Oh my god, you're so cute." I'm like, "Oh my god, you're so adorable." But like, "Yeah, no problem." But then most importantly, if they would respond like this, "Hey, excuse me. I saw you." And you're like, "No, don't talk to me." Or like, "I imagine Missy." Bark bark bark bark. I'm like, "All right, no problem. Have a good day." Like, you don't internalize it. One of the things about rejection is that it sticks to you. This doesn't stick to you. And then over time, you literally develop a happy personality. And not a happy, creepy, nice girl personality, nice guy, but more so like a positive person and and people will literally be drawn to you, man. I'm telling you, this is all you need. Like, I've done this. I've taught this to guys is really easy. And you know what's the beauty about this? It's something that really makes you happy. You will literally start to have compassion for inadimate objects. So, that means like even if you see a tree or tree is alive, you'll touch it, but it'll be more tender. If you if you even when you're writing, this is why when you meditate, you go slower. You do with love and compassion. And so your writing is more like a meditation practice and it's just slower and more quality. When you're drawing something, you have compassion for your drawing and it create and it makes your drawing feel more alive. You give life to everything through compassion and in turn you do everything better. Socializing. Think about it. You're given a gift and you do it with compassion. You don't you think you get the gift is going to be better? Like literally, you you guys think I'm just trying to get you to meditate.
All right. You know, it's kind of true, but this really works. Like you try it today. And if you don't if you you don't stop being shy, I'm going to give you $100. Monopoly money. Okay? Just do it. Okay? Trust me, you'll see it. And if you guys want to learn more about that, go check out my course um emotional mastery. It's actually a course that I created where I teach you everything in this and about manifestation in that course. So go check that out. Um if you don't do it, I'm closing the channel. Okay.
All right, guys. We're going to have a brief intermission so I could tell you guys about our new bundle that we're doing where you guys can purchase all of my courses and get it at a discount. So this bundle is pretty much um the bundle where you could just buy all of my courses. You could buy um nice guy, which is a a training course on how to come across more assertive, how to come across more confident. Um how to not give off nice guy vibes. You guys can get access to dark game, um which is my full dating course on how to meet women in different scenarios, how to attract women, how to make sure you don't come across as creepy, and essentially how to act like a man and not act like a doofus, to be quite honest with you. Um, and you get all of these bonuses, which is the bonuses of dark game, the bonuses of practical mastery, uh, which is about how to master a skill, social mastery, which is how to master your social life, and the laws of human nature, which is a book club videos that I had dissecting Robert Green's book. You. All of this is naturally at around $238 200. No, naturally is at $346, but you guys can purchase this bundle and get it at what what's the price again? Uh get it at um 22 238 pretty much. Um so you guys can purchase it right now. Um it's a money money back 30-day money back guarantee. Uh, it's a good way to rather than just buying them individually and paying extra, you guys can just purchase everything at a discount price. Now, the only thing I don't like is the fact that I'm giving you a lot of information at the same time. That makes me kind of scared because a lot of times people don't do the things that I teach when I when you get too much information, but I've gotten too many requests to do this. So, I'm just satisfying you guys. Purchase it right now by clicking on the description down below where it says purchase the bundle. All right, let's continue with the video.